My husband got a vasectomy 5 years ago. We had 2 kids. It seemed like the number society says is good. I also had post partum depression and I just felt like it wasn’t best. Well a couple years later we regretted it but we just thought this is what we get for making a permanent decision. He got it reversed this spring and now I’m due next May. I’m 38 next week. I feel so blessed for this opportunity
Woowww glory to God!! Such an encouragement!! Encouragement to families that made irreversible decisions there are thousands of foster children available in most any community across the nation and all they need is a safe place to lay their heads.
I stopped having babies bc I suffered postpartum depression. I have five alive babies and 5 miscarriages. I think babies are not a cure for depression, but we grow spiritually through the process of childbearing, depression can be seen as a gift to draw us closer to God and be dependent on Him, but it not easy and sometimes trusting God doesn’t mean to add more and more children into our family, sometimes is being faithful with the ones that He already gave us in raising them for His glory.
Same. I didn't feel normal until mine was about 4 years old. And the depression started while I was pregnant, so it was about five years of simply trying to stay alive. Children won't fix your marriage or your depression or your selfishness. For many, those things worsen. Jesus is the source, not others, even others we create.
0-1 was the WOOOORST transition for me. My husband was at basic training, people joked about sleep deprivation but it was honestly torture. I had no idea what I was doing. Breastfeeding was so much harder and hurt so much worse than I was anticipating. Nobody told me about the hormonal shift that is like, earth shattering the first time. I was in such a bad place I thought I would for SURE be one and done. 8 months later I accidentally (no accidents in God’s eyes! Lol) get pregnant with my daughter. I was so scared but my son had started sleeping a little better at least. Postpartum with my daughter was sort of a whirlwind and that pregnancy was physically harder for me, but I made it through!! Their friendship now at 5 and 3 is so beautiful. My third is 2 months old and MAN it has been a breeze. The easiest by far and not for lack of the same sort of issues as the first two, but I have so much more confidence and let myself rely on my maternal instincts instead of fear mongering online. I have really been able to enjoy the newborn stage this time!! I already have baby fever for a fourth lol!
I agree so much. That hormonal change from 0 to 1 is a roller coaster. It gets easier and easier. I just had number 5. It like learning to be a homemaker. It seems like it aught to be easy but all the little bitty facets add up to something that actually takes effort and skill and training to do even remotely well.
@@tyrelnatashanuzum8956 for real!!! It’s so hard. Especially with really young babies lol. I’ve learned to live with an acceptable level of chaos without it feeling too insane.
Having one baby is super hard. Having a second baby for me was even harder. The third was easier, as was the fourth, and the fifth was a breeze. Barely anything changed. 😄
God has given me 10 children, so far😉, and I am 37 years old. “The fruit of the womb is a reward.“ I know that and I trust that because the Lord said it but also because I have felt it and lived it. It was hard to have my first 4, but the Lord grew me and sanctified me and through much prayer, He guided me and showed me to value my fertility years. They are such a gift. Just ask any woman who yearns for a child but is barren. You don’t need to be rich. I married my husband when I was 19 and I was a carhop at Sonic Drive In. I have not worked outside the home since the day our first baby was born. God has provided. We prayed. We worked hard. We didn’t buy things that we couldn’t afford. For years, we only had one car which meant I couldn’t leave the house while my husband was at work, but it was all worth it. I have been so blessed. “Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of arrows (children). God’s word proves to be true over and over again. TRUST HIM. ❤❤🙏🏻🙏🏻✝️ Thank you for another beautiful message, Allie.
i think Christians are sometimes so out touch with reality if you're going to be in poverty why have more children? even God told prophets not to have children in certain times because they were going to die, or those mothers in Israel where they have to eat their children because there was a famine,or when paul gave an advice to people not to marry or have children because difficult times were coming and he advice it was best to focus your time in god then a family but if you could not have selfcontrol of the flesh then yeah it was better to get married, y'all need to start being more wise,
I have 11 children and have recently became a widow. The only things I feel I did right on this earth are having my children, breastfeeding them all, and homeschooling them all ( plus no vaccines). We were NOT well off, at all. But what wonderful memories 😊
Loooove this episode. Also want to throw out there that, as someone who went through years of infertility, I remember when these conversations made me wonder if God was withholding children from me because I wasn’t “good enough” to be sanctified by motherhood. That’s definitely not what anyone in these circles were saying, but my heart hurt and I couldn’t reason well in that pain. So I want to just say, to any gal who might need to hear it, infertility is wildly sanctifying and you are doing GOOD WORK waiting on the Lord - whether in singleness while longing to be married and have kids or in infertility directly. God is molding and shaping you, he hasn’t forgotten you. Absolutely not implying that this was said or inferred by this conversation, I just know where my heart and mind went back then and I wanted to say this in case anyone is hurting in a similar way. ❤
Amen, as a single woman early 30s waiting on God's plan for marriage or no marriage while leaning towards it yet holding hopes back in case it's not God's plan - it's hard hoping for a godly man/husband yet also trying to balance peace to accept his will not mine - the waiting time is hard but it's more important to fall in love & filled with God's love instead while waiting.
Wouldn't trade my childhood as one of 7 for the world. Thank you Dr. Catherine! Its so rare to hear positive views on big family life! You GET us and I am so grateful for your voice. God willing I hope to be like the women you interviewed some day. 🙏
I have five, and one my greatest regrets is doing something permanent to prevent more. I wish we had ten now. Children are an inheritance of the Lord! Blessed is the man (and care I say woman) whose quiver is full of them.
HAVING MY DAUGHTER CURED MY DEPRESSION. It gave me purpose and meaning. Depression is skyrocketing and our society is discouraging people from having kids! The only things that actually matters in this world, family. The more we discourage having kids the more mental health suffers. I went through post partum depression, but it was temporary. And I’m sure my mental health will go up and down again through life. But the feeling of purpose and true joy is permanent.
@@IyahHayiconsider breaking the cycle instead of trying to silence people who have a different perspective. She’s not far off. What I’ve noticed is that mental health is declining as society becomes more and more secular. Having less kids is just a byproduct of that
It really does miracles having children. I would have never learned this level of patience, understanding, and absolute love without my daughter. Absolute blessing ♥️♥️
I wish my situation were different, but my mental, physical, and spiritual health declined significantly postpartum. My child is the absolute best, and yet I still struggle immensely from a traumatic birth and postpartum period. I have PTSD and panic attacks even thinking about having more children. My story can’t be the only one, and I think people should definitely be aware of the potential negative repercussions of childbirth.
@@nk-io3cf you are by far not the only one. I spent years seeing God as liar calling children a reward. Pregnancy was the first time I ever felt like unaliving myself in my life. Felt the same way after my second pregnancy, which was my last. Never again. I thank God for permanent solutions for no more pregnancies. My husband and I are completely confident in this. Better to have a sane, alive mother and wife than more kids and a lethargic or dead wife and mom.
Yes honestly THIS needs talked more about. The negative, health related issues side of childbirth and pregnancy. The serious LACK of support and responsibility on fathers and husbands to bear their load and carry the family burden as the father. Instead it's mostly ALL on the mother. Especially in society. The mother has no days off. No nights off. No weekends off. She's expected to be super woman and run on coffee and fumes. Meanwhile fathers get weekends off, days out with their buddies and they barely if ever watch and play with their own kids. Especially in the Slavic community. How i grew up.. Not All. But a few too many. Thats for sure. We NEED more moms and women to talk about ALL of it. The rawness of motherhood every side of it. Not just the positive rainbows and lollipops side.
I just commented with the exact same. Part of me longs to give my daughter a sibling. My husband wants another badly. But 3.5 years later I’m still traumatized by having my first. She’s the best thing to ever happen to me but I’m not sure I can do it again especially going into a pregnancy knowing I’d probably have pre-eclampsia again. I ask God to give me a sign. Was I meant to raise the one I have or am I meant to risk another? I’m just not sure.
@LaynieLashes it's absolutely up to you. And I'll admit knowledge and love ultimately casts out all fear. If you are torn about having another one the best thing you can do is be as informed as possible. Pls watch as many Ina May Gaskin video's as you can. If your partner is willing to watch that so much better as you will get the support you need as well. Having children is beautiful when we have thr knowledge and support we need. Pls also watch as many successful unnasisted home birth videos that you can. The lack of fear. The immense trust and peace these moms have in their bodies ability to birth as God designed. Just look at every other mammal. They go in a quiet undisturbed space to birth ALONE. What has encouraged me was well actually my husband and I had a lil too much fun one night and after 3 years of condom and natural birth control we were like what's the chance of getting pregnant from one night? It always took us 4 to 9 months just to conceive. And now I'm pregnant with twins. I was TERRIFIED at first.. Its absolutely makes no sense. But these home birth videos. Hypnobirthing videos. Succesfull fearless Twin home birth videos. Yes theres quite a few out here now... Unassisted birth video's. Mamas telling their story of birth with no fear has given me so much confidence to go into this birth fearlessly. It says in Hosea 4:6 "my people perish for lack of knowledge. " so do the research, pray, communicate with God about it. He will answer you as well and as you gain knowledge the fear will slowly dissipate. But you must be diligent and firm in your confidence and conviction and the knowledge you gain. Best of wishes to you and may God comfort you and bless you with immense peace as well.
I am currently pregnant with my third baby and had been feeling a little overwhelmed with having so many littles (3 under 3). This was so encouraging and helped me shift my perspective. Thank you for sharing and having this conversation!
Only about a quarter of the way through so far, but I appreciate her laid-back approach to this and not just giving blanket rules. So much of it depends on the family and your mind can change! The thing I always say is, having a baby is so incredibly exciting, but as a former teacher and kids ministry leader, whose husband is a former youth pastor… Parents need to just keep in mind that every baby they have is a whole person they are responsible to raise. Your job doesn’t end at 18 months, it actually never fully ends! ❤
I was in a very bad situation when I got pregnant. I considered abortion because I was so confused and in dispare. The doctor saw my confusion and pushed me for abortion. I just had good people by my side and I realized that all those problems I thought I had suddenly didn't matter anymore. Me and the father of the child had to put our acts together. So we became better people, we got married and had one more child. I am so thankful for both of them. I probably would have been in some mental asylum without my family.
I’m so sorry this happened to you! I’ve had ptsd, and it was the scariest thing I’ve ever gone through. There is a 5 year gap between the baby I had ptsd with and the next one. I’m so so sorry!
I ruptured while trying to labor. It is something you may want to carefully evaluate. I pray there was no loss in it. I’m now pregnant with my 4th after being on the fence with for 5 years, with my OB’s approval. Not every experience will be the same. I will pray for your healing.
“Are you done?” “Do you know how babies are made?” “Was this one planned?” Questions I’ve gotten while pregnant with baby 3. Now with baby 5 I’m not even bothering telling people we are expecting another one. I’ll keep my excitement to myself, to my immediate family, and the friends that I know will be happy for us. But of course we had the “how?” But really what they wanted to ask was “was this planned?” I’m only 32 I could have 10 more ❤
I fell into the post partum depression. But really it was doctors telling me I was not doing a good job feeding my baby. My anxiety has been removed, I gave it to God.
I just had my fifth baby. Growing up, five was considered a small family in my culture (Mennonite) 7-9 was very normal, and anything more than that was considered large. Anyway, my husband and I left the Mennonites when we just had two boys, I became pregnant with my girl and everyone out here seemed to be so happy that I was having a girl and could be done now 😅 Then we went on and had another girl and I got a lot of comments about my perfect family of 2 boys and 2 girls... And THEN I got pregnant again and so many people made rude comments about "ruining the perfect family" in their own words and ways. Ugh. What they don't know is there's probably more to come 😂 Whenever someone asks how many we want we like to say 1 and ½ dozen. (which is a secret code for 7 😊)
Sure but every pregnancy comes with risks and it seems genetic issues the older you get . So it has to be a conversation for every couple on the amount of kids or leaving it up to god and so on .
Having 3 was the best thing that ever happened to me. I love my children and my life is full of laughter, purpose, and warmth. Thank you Jesus for my children.
Having my tenth- every baby God has provided a growth in our income. We didn’t have everything perfect with each one; I worked part time till my 7th. I’m surprised how happy having a big family has made me. We have a great marriage and lovely kids. I’m 45 now and pinching myself to still be carrying babies.
I Needed this episode. My pregnancy, birth, and first 6 months of the baby’s life have been hard! I’ve been doubting whether I could do more, but this episode gave me encouragement to welcome the idea of more children in the future ☺️💜
So encouraging! We made a more permanent decision about this topic after 4 kiddos and have come to regret! Now praying about embryo adoption! Thank yall for this conversation!!!
Looks like a fun episode. 😊 I love children. Children are so important. They are the hope of our future, and they are important to God. What's important to God should be important to us. Large families are amazing. May God bless you and your family, Allie, and keep using your voice for the truth.
I have 3 wonderful children, but developed hormone positive breast cancer a few years ago and went through it twice. As much as it killed me inside to do this, because I have to take medication the rest of my life that you can’t get pregnant on, I chose to have my tubes removed so I didn’t have to worry about accidentally getting pregnant and harming a baby, among other reasons. Even though it felt like the right decision, I still am sad because I would’ve loved to have more kids. It really is a blessing if you are healthy and have the ability to have children.
Can anyone pray for me? I have desperately wanted to have 4+ children since I was like 11/12yrs old… when I was 14 I met a boy who had so much trauma of his own that he controlled me to the point of tracking my cycles and kept us from having any children til I was ready to divorce him for his abusive ways and boom I was forced into sex that created my beautiful daughter! I fully believe that God gave her to me for good even if the person was evil and his intentions nefarious!! However now I’m 34 and so so doubtful that I’ll remarry and have more children, I serve in our nursery every Sunday and I’ve tried to love other people’s babies in the waiting season faithfully providing my service to the church… I would love a prayer in agreement that I will be successfully married and have more children in a God centered relationship ♥️🙏🏻
It's a good desire to want to raise children. Despite what you've been through, you choose to love. Praise God you appreciate the gift of motherhood! With that said, respectfully, sister in Christ, you are not owed anything. God knows best, so empty your hands, give it up to our Lord and surrender to His will for your life. It may not be what you want right now, but it will become clear in hindsight that even this will work for God's glory. May God Almighty bess you, Kelsey, and peace & contentment be with you this day.
If it is His will, you will! Keep leaning into prayer with the Lord. Whether He answers our prayers the way we want or not, Romans 8 tells us He makes all things work for the good of those who love Him. Hugs mama
What a great and encouraging episode. I'm a mom of two girls, and my husband so wants another. Trying to pick the perfect time to try baby #3. I suppose God already knows. Thanks you. God Bless!
This was beautiful and so inspiring to listen to! Thank you Ally for hosting such a great conversation with this lovely lady. God is our Provider, and His Grace is sufficient for us, our marriages and our children! And it’s okay that that might be hard for us as humans to understand, yet He blows us away every time! 😍
God blessed us with twins , making four children so far. Im 38 and I will be happy to have as many more children as God will give us. Twins are so Cool! And now that I have more to do, I feel MORE satisfied and purposeful. Its very paradoxical. Having children and raising them is the best !
I am a mother of a 4 year old girl and a 1 year old boy. That is enough for me 😅. I am 38 yrs old. Both pregnancies were vaginal births and both of my babies got stuck at the birth canal (shoulder dystocia). Very scary births but thankfully they are healthy. I have sisters in laws around my age that have 4 children. I am happy for them but my body and my heart is not into having a large family . I want to focus on my two children. If you are still young and have a very stable and healthy marriage and lots of helping hands go for it but this can be difficult for some women. I crave alone time and I barely have it with two children. I can’t imagine with more 😅.
IMO, having 1-3 kids can be WAY harder than 4+... if I'd been told 5 years ago that I'd become Christian and have 4 more babies by 32 yo, I would've scoffed or been terrified. Yet God knows best, I just had our 5th and it's been very unexpected how certain things get much easier after 4. I do find myself with opportunities for solo time, etc. You'd be surprised. But also, we need to hold these babies tight while we can! One day they'll be busy building their lives and you'll have more alone time than you want. I've talked with older women in 40s and 60s and some wish they'd had more kids or are totally game to go through another pregnancy at 42+. Has really helped me appreciate my kids as the blessings they are.
@@chloecigarroa9847 not its not, that means that your not paying attention to all your kids equally, how you going to say that having one child is harder than having 5 kids? what are you smoking? especially in this economy ?
You should try to put them down for naps at the same time / quiet time and put them to bed the same time and that might help you get an hour or 2 ! You sound like you need a bit of a break which is understandable .. sleep training was the best choice we ever made as parents ..
After having my first baby in Thailand, I took for granted living in a culture that absolutely adored children to then having my second baby in America (Texas, even) where I’ve never felt more unsupported and cast aside in public… but thank you for the encouragement because we going for babe #3 now!
Great episode. So much resonated with me as a mom to 5 children. 4 boys and our 5th a baby girl. 🥹😍 I regularly have people ask if we’re done having children. Finally reached a point where I feel confident and comfortable enough to say “whatever the Lord has for us.”.
We have five too. 2 boys and 3 girls. It's interesting that you say that, because I feel the same way... Finally ready to surrender the amount of children we have to the Lord. It scares me in some ways 😅
I recently had my 4th baby and we planned to be done, but I couldn't go through with the sterilization procedure (paperwork was already signed). Pregnancy was hard and post partum is hard, but I'm happy the door is still open.
Loved this conversation. We have six; the oldest is 10 and the youngest 7 months. One of the toughest things about the decision to continue was the push back and disapproval of family members, who began urging us to stop after having 2. I dreaded each pregnancy announcement as they were met with subtle looks of incredulity and disgust despite the congratulatory words. My husband and I decided to be open to life and accept whatever hits to our respectability come with it. Previous generations in my family experienced and/or condoned abortion, and I believe this has shaped their perspective about our family size. We are quietly defying their worldview (in action, not in words). My children are a blessing beyond what I could possibly even imagine before having them. My hope is in time, the hearts of those who scoffed are softened as they experience the love and connection with the youngest members of their family tree. 🌳💚💚💚💚💚💚
When i found out i was pregnant with baby number four i was so excited even though i was 6 month postpartum with my third. I cant wait till she meets her two sisters and brother.
@roxayneochs1298 with my second I was 6 months postpartum. With my third there is a two year gap because I had a miscarriage from my second to third and now I'm pregnant with my 4th with again 6 months postpartum from baby three. I was nervous to but my obgyn reassured me everything will be okay . Since this is the time I've gone 6 months postpartum I know what to expect.
I have four. My oldest is 11 and my youngest is 5. I want more kids SO bad, but my oldest is in a wheelchair so we are maxed out on car space and it’s been so tight financially we could never afford an $80k passenger van with a wheelchair lift. I’m so sad about it all the time. I want another baby so bad but I feel so stuck. I’ve prayed and prayed about it. I feel like God is saying not right now, but the age gap between my youngest and a potential 5th baby is growing bigger. :( I ended up getting a puppy instead, who I love so much but she isn’t another baby.
My husband and I have been blessed with 11 children. We have always let the Lord decide when we will have another. WE can’t have children on our own, God has to give them ❤
I'm confused by some of the negative comments. I feel as though some were trying to make this conversation into personal advice. I took it as a conversation about general cultural attitudes in regards to children and motherhood, and a look into the beliefs and attitudes of those who had actively chose to have large families. Of course having kids is not going to cure everyone's depression. They were suggesting that some cases of depression are due to being self focused, so having children would "cure it" for some women.
It’s definitely more of a cultural/generational advice episode vs individual. I agree a lot of people taking this topic incredibly personally and being very snarky about it.
After I had a baby, my love for pets never went away. I wanted more babies, but it didn't happen. But I've loved animals since I was born. You can want children and pets both
Thank you for this comment! That's actually the only part of this episode I didn't like. There's no need for this either/or mentality. I think loving innocent beings is a wonderful thing, and this applies to both children and animals. Also I believe that it's beneficial for children to grow up around pets!
While the obsession with animals in our culture and comparing them to being the same as children, or treating them like babies (walking them around in strollers, etc.) is something I highly disagree with - I still love animals too. There’s nothing wrong with having both. We always grew up with pets in the house and my parents still constantly own a dog to this day.
NO, this is a dangerous message to spread. The child is more likely to suffer from depression because they have a biological predisposition for me. I was raised by a mother with depression and she was NOT able to take care of me emotionally. I had to get years of therapy to recover. Do NOT have children thinking is it the cure for depression. It is NOT.
Most people with "depression" have self diagnosed themselves rather than dealing with personal growth, or have been misdiagnosed by a pill pusher. 99.99% of the time, there is nothing to inherit, because there is nothing to inherit (assuming you could find evidence of hereditary depression to begin with). Growing up with bad behavior and habits because the parents are immature, and irresponsible is not the same as being prone to inherit a mental illness.
Oh my gosh, my mental health was terrible in the years before I finally got pregnant with our first baby. I feel like the process of correcting my fertility issues definitely helped improve my mental health immensely, but I have been truly happy ever since I saw that first positive test. I'm expecting our second in just a few weeks!
Hallelujah!!!! Your channel has been a huge part of my transformation, God is good 🙌🏻🙌🏻.I was owning a loan of $37,000 to the bank for my son's brain surgery (Oscar), Now I'm no longer in debt after I invested $8,000 and got my payout of $340,500 every months.God bless Christine Evelyn Mackie🇺🇲
After I raised up to 825k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my 10yrs old son's brain surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom.
I've always wanted to be involved for a long time but the volatility in the price has been very confusing to me. Although I have watched a lot of UA-cam videos about it but I still find it hard to understand
There’s something very dystopian about unironically referring to babies as “future members of the workforce.” Also proudly on SSRIs because without them, I would not be able to function. Some days I struggle to function even though I am medicated. Having a child hoping that the child will “fix” you is a grossly warped perspective.
@@gabib.1780 because thinking of a literal newborn child in terms of “future workforce participant” is weird and reeks of late-stage capitalism. And no, I haven’t misunderstood anything. Perhaps you don’t understand the implicit meanings in what they’re saying?
This is so so good! I would have gladly had many many children but had multiple miscarriages, especially after the birth of my second. I was happy in my postpartum periods and I think deciding to grow your family is an individual choice. I think women should have as many as they want, and hopefully you have a spouse who doesn’t dictate the yes and no of it all.
My husband and I had one kid, and I didn't think I would have another. I couldn't imagine the idea of letting down so many kids, then I found God. Our oldest is freshly four and I'm now pregnant, soon to be 7 months, with our third! Decided we'll keep going til we can't!
How did you stop having that feeling of failing your kids? I tend to feel like I can't have more than the one because I'm just going to ruin them with my issues :(
@@nataliedenton1299 well I will say my issues come from a background of abuse, neglect, and so on from both parents. And when I tell people at my church when they ask how we came to be there, not even all of them get it, but I just found someone I trusted more than myself. God has all the answers for us and I just do my best to pray everyday and ask for His help, His guidance, and His mercy, not just for me but for my kids. Coming from a background of no real parents, I feel incredibly blessed to have found the Catholic Church, where we have Jesus, but also venerate His mother, and they both serve as amazing examples of how to handle things. Mary from a female perspective, as well as a mother's. I don't trust myself to do what's right nearly as much as I trust God to send me the right words daily, and I always make sure to read and pray when I'm feeling down or like I just can't do it all. I will say it's taken a lot of time, my oldest is now four! So nearly four years and still getting work done daily, but where I am now is so much better than where I was and who I was. It's kind of hard to explain beyond reading and praying, and I can tell you the prayers I lean on and books I've dived into if you're interested (won't just include them because I know not all her listeners are Catholi) but if you're not I'll just ask if I can include you in my own prayers. I promise you if you forget your fears and just give it all to Him, He will not deny you wanting to do right by your baby. I went from being angry and feeling lost daily to becoming a mom that sees if I want grace and forgiveness, I must be willing to give just that out daily. I won't act like everyday is perfect, but I'm doing much better
Ohmygosh, I saw an article not too long ago, and it said that families with four or more kids were the happiest families! ❤️ I’m four months postpartum, and a week after we had our baby, my husband and I were already planning when to start trying for our second baby! Lol I’ve definitely had postpartum ups and downs, but I am so grateful to have our son! My husband more recently joked about wanting to have 13 kids now 🤣 Such a great episode discussion! ❤️
This is encouraging to me as an expectant Mom who has just turned 40 It definitely is different this time around in a beautiful way. We’re so much more relaxed as we wait to welcome our 4th child.
so many good points in this discussion - thank you! I grew up as one of 7 siblings, and my son and his wife now have 9 children, so large families are something I'm very familiar with. As a teenager, I wasn't too happy having so many siblings, but as I became a young adult and started watching others my age who thought 10 people was a huge crowd for Thanksgiving, I couldn't help thinking "but that's not enough people to be a family" :-)
My husband is my high school sweet heart. When I met him I was studying to become a labor and delivery nurse. I’ve always had a heart for children and people. I love to serve! When my husband and I got married I just turned 20. I prayed and felt the Lord call me to be a mother, and I left school. It took us almost 2 years to conceive. We didn’t know if we could have babies. However the Lord blessed us with two little boys! What a blessing my babies are to me! They truly are a BLESSING! I’m now a stay at home mama, and my husband is a youth pastor. The Lord has lead us to places we never thought we’d be or imagined to be. We will continue to let the Lord lead! I’ve desired to have more children and I’m praying for Gods will. ❤️ Loved this episode! Thank you for it!
I am a mother to an 18 year old girl who is getting ready to graduate high school. I'm 44 and I have always had a desire to have more kids but the ordeal i went through with my daughter still haunts me because it was so tough. My husband is supportive and we talked about having more but by the time we did i was nearing 40. I feel happy with my 1 child but I wish I would have had at least one more with my husband ( my daughter's step dad)
I have twin girls aged 3 and I was pretty sure I was done having kids. Since they turned 3 and I turned 29 I have started to become open to one more. Not yet as we are not financially able to but I know the lord will bless our finances in the future if his plan for us matches our desire ❤
I really am pretty sure I dont want more than 3 kids however I wouldn't get a permanent procedure to prevent children incase I changed my mind again. Unless i had a serious medical condtion where It was nesscarry
I'm 37, and my husband is 41. We have a 14 and an 8 year old and are currently in the process of getting a vasectomy reversal. I learned not to make reproduction decisions right after having a baby!! It wasn't long after the vasectomy that we regretted it. We are leaving this in God's hands and are prayerful we'll be blessed with another 1 (or 2)
I experienced terrible post-partum depression and anxiety, although it was a hold-over from two miscarriages and an ill-fitting career. The only thing that eventually "cured" my depression was becoming pregnant with my second living child. She was such a blessing in so many ways.
Childless *not* by choice listener here. While I really like Allie, her take on CNBC women is always a bit facile. She simply ..... doesn't get it or glosses over it with an easy "Well, you can foster or adopt" and it doesn't always work out that way for a variety of reasons that no one bothers to ascertain. It's not that easy but it sure is easy to say. To other CNBC women listening here, I say this: It's possible God has called all of us to the much more isolating and marginalized -- and therefore potentially harder -- calling of childlessness. The culture at large doesn't understand us; the church -- which you'd think would try to understand us -- doesn't understand us (sadly, doesn't even bother) and defines womanhood as motherhood as if these are interchangeable. I know how hard it is every day. I know how incredibly deep the life-long grief runs. I know how you put on a brave face as you foray in to a child-full world and cry all the way home -- and maybe all night. I know how you hold your sister's new baby with grace and courage and never let her know how your heart is breaking. DON'T tell me that the kind of grace required to bear your childlessness with dignity in a world that doesn't get it isn't a kind of calling. It IS. We're sharing in the sufferings of Christ, my fellow CNBC women. We're walking the road *less* traveled, the road with far fewer companions and much less support or commiseration. Because it's an internal struggle, those around us don't see it. We, however, can often *see* the struggles of the moms around us and they're certainly well-represented in TV, movies, and books. We can see them and have a certain albeit incomplete level of understanding based on that observation. Our road, though, is invisible and so we get the callous remarks based on ignorance and the glossed-over solutions from a world that sees only with its eyes. We are walking, breathing examples of God's sovereignty -- and that makes people uncomfortable. Why is that couple childless? Why weren't they healed? Why didn't God do this or that to make it better for them -- but also for me, the casual Christian observer who feels unsettled that God's sovereignty, as represented by this unhealed couple, is so vexing. But wear that like a badge of honor, ladies. You remind people that they're not God, that only God is God, and that callings for others might be different -- *but no less valid or important* -- than their own. Just my 75 cents.
You get it. 😌 God bless you! We too are infertile for 15 years. We aren't understood by 99% of the world but can at least understand each other. Hugs! 🤗
I'm not physically infertile, but I've had mental health challenges that have prevented me from having kids. I bear the shame, but it causes me to lean on God in a different way.
I am childless - not by choice. I didn’t feel a calling for kids until I was past 30. Got pregnant (surprise!) last November with my first and it did not result in a living child. After that, I was then like well now I need to try again, and sadly the same thing happened. We are taking a break from trying again in order to get healthier but hoping to try again by next February. Now, I really really want to have children and a family. My life feels purposeless. I realize the Lord may never bless me with kids but one of my biggest regrets is waiting so long to even try, (I am 32 and my husband is 34 and we’ve been together 9 years!) People tell me I still have time but it is hard to not feel like I am very quickly running out of time.
We want to welcome no more or less children the Lord has to offer. They are such a blessing! Each family has different trials they might face. Allie, please have on Mary Haseltine. She is such a powerful voice in this topic of respecting marriage and mothers and children especially during pregnancy, birth, & postpartum.
Awesome, I want to hear more of this story. I had my twin girls and my only kids at age 48. If you desire it, get it, do not allow statistics to hold you back, nor allow American doctors talk you out of having babies due to age. Now my girls are 6, they keep me on my feet 24/7 and keep me youthful. Yes, I would have been in depression if I didn't have them. My husband, who wanted to talk me out of having them, is now enjoying them more than ever. Having kids gives one the purpose to live and be happier.
I thought I was finished after every one of my babies, only to change my mind later. My fifth baby is almost three months old, and in a way she did cure my long depression, which I admit was at its worst when I found out I was pregnant with her. I thought five would be too hard, but it ended up being the easiest transition ever. It felt like my life barely changed, except now there's yet another beautiful child to love. Now I feel strong and capable as a woman and a mother, like I can conquer the world.
Children gave me purpose and made me realize how selfish my instincts truly were/are. Everyday I have to pick up my cross and deny myself. In that way it has been truly healing to see the truth of what my purpose is and to fully understand what it means to humble myself. I didn’t want any children initially but God chose my husband for me and gave me a beautiful daughter and two more sons afterwards. Now I feel so honored and blessed to be a mother in a world that wants us to hate children. I am a much better person thanks to my kids, with still much work to do. And while I have struggled deeply with postpartum depression, I was ultimately led to Jesus and he pulled me out of a dark dark place. Now I can think more clearly, not everyday is perfect, but I would welcome more babies if it’s in my path 🙏🏽😊
Just because I didn't hear this being addressed, mother-hood looks different for us mama's with autism babes. Our children's childhood looks a little different than those who do not have autism. Mom's with children who have autism - I see you and I hear you. Just remember, this life is temporary and our eternal lives with Christ will be THAT much more amazing when we finally hear our babies speak in heaven! Can you imagine how amazing it will be?
Not long ago I remember not wanting to have kids because I didn’t want to pass down my debilitating mental health issues… then 2020 happened and I listened to Allie talk about how fears like that do not come from God. Since then, I married, established a relationship with Jesus, and am now pregnant with our second baby. ALL of my debilitating mental health issues went away when I was pregnant with my first baby. I stopped my medication and have yet to feel a need to restart any of it. I understand there is scientific backing showing how babies in the womb heal mamas and I can’t help but thank God because he allowed that to happen for me and my family. I also smiled when the guest talked about babies being sun lamps… I refer to mine as my salt lamp ❤
I’m a mom of 3 girls and open to however many the lord wants to bless us with! 🙏🏽❤️ A lot of times people try to scare you about continuing to have children as you’re getting older (which is my experience right now with my parents and other family members) but, we must not be afraid and must trust in the Lord with all our hearts! I trust that if He plans for us to continue growing our family, that He will make it so and that He will never leave us nor forsake us! 🙌🏽 I am one of two, and when I was younger and had not been saved yet, I did not want any kids. My husband is one of three, and had always wanted a big family. We got married young (I was just 21) and my mind was changed by the time I was 25, by 28 I had my eldest daughter 🥰 Now at 34, having three beautiful daughters, I cannot imagine life without my children and cannot wait for the Lord to continue blessing our family ❤️ If it is meant to be in His perfect will and His perfect timing 🙏🏽
Im pregnant with my second that we absolutely wanted, but living on my husbands very very modest income has been so stressful. Constantly torn between the desire to have more children & be a SAHM and feeling like we will have to stop at 2 kids so i can eventually go back to work.
Put your trust in God. He will provide for His children. It's us that won't fully commit to surrendering them and ourselves to God. We put the worry on us when we don't need to. Use what you have or what you know to make money from home. Any skill you have use it for Gods glory and watch your family be taken care of.
Urgent emergency please join me in prayer for all those affected families children animals approaching massive Milton cat5 hurricane to Florida they desperately need your prayers please pray for them God bless you all
Lord, please help these people. Let them make it through this hurricane with minimal loss, and give them the necessary supplies to make it through this tough time. Let yourself be known to them, and may many come to You. Help the people in Hurricane Helene. In Your Name, Amen.
I was the 6th child. I’m boot sure what the dysfunction was in my family’s lives but I was treated very poorly by my older siblings because our needs were not met. Our family was Catholic-
Urgent emergency please join me in prayer for all those affected families children animals massive devastation hurricane in Florida Georgia North Carolina South Carolina Tennessee continue Suffering many people missing power outages homeless hungry they desperately need your prayers please pray for them God bless you all...
When the current college generation reaches retirement age, social security will be gone. They will have to look to their own children for support in their old age.
My husband and I have 5 children. We are 32. I can say without a doubt that having babies has healed me to my soul and completed my purpose in life. It’s my life’s work and I am proud of that. My husband feels the same way. But having babies DOES cure depression
Has anyone here figured out a way to respond to relatives who make negative comments about family size? I’m expecting my 5th and my in laws starting making comments about how we should be done since we finally “achieved” to have both genders after our third child. They were not thrilled at number 4 and I constantly got told how worn out I look. I get comments on how I look depleted and exhausted and shouldn’t be nursing passed 6 months. I hate the fact that I can’t share the news with excitement and know they’re going to have something negative to say. Even my husbands boss had the nerve to tell him to stop having children. People are so unhinged with their comments. I am not very diplomatic so I’m having trouble coming up with ideas for what to say in the near future when inevitably everyone will find out and let their opinions be known. Worst part is I’ve never asked anyone to help me with anything.
I’m pregnant with my first child and needed some faith-building encouragement at the moment when I saw this episode going on. Trusting in God for a healthy family, and His provision and protection 🙌🏻
I have 3 with huge age gaps that it scared me and my husband into never having kids again. Sometimes I wonder if we would of had them super close in age we wouldn’t be as scared or if we will regret it 10 years from now not having more 😢 I also have dealt with depression, anxiety and we are not financially able to support more kids that has made a bigger impact into our decision 😔
I can't relate when I hear statements such as "every woman has a maternal instinct/desire". I'm a married Christian woman, and I've personally never felt it. Even as a little girl, I loved to play with dolls yes, but only barbies and fashion, never baby dolls (I did not understand the appeal of those). As an adult, I've tried to force myself to feel that so called "instinct", but no matter how hard I try or how much I pray that God gives me that desire, it hasn't happened yet. All of that to say that I think it's a shame that a podcast such as this one, with good info, could alienate a part of its audience, and make us feel like we can't relate, ironically. And no, I am not focusing on any career in particular, and although I have a dog, I don't consider him my child at all.
@@LykaLo hmm.. Do you ever serve with any babies or youth/children? At church? At your work place? You said that you didn’t like to disciple others, so, do you like evangelizing, instead?
I'm all for having children. However, it's cruel to put this kind of burden on a baby. If it doesn't work, the child suffers. We must be responsible adults. We must deal with our problems before we have children and not experiment with them in hopes they fix our lives.
So when humans first started reproduction did they take that in too account? My kids gave me no choice but to deal w my problems and have solutions asap.. it’s automatic when u have a child to care for.. if it weren’t for my kids I wouldn’t be making the amount of money I do today, if it weren’t for them Id probably still be a mess..
@@kvnd6577 Accepting responsibility for your actions and deliberately experimenting with a child's life are two different things, but I think you know that.
Caring for a special needs child takes a lot and is very important to God (and also part of being pro life) ❤️ as others in the comments have mentioned, we can appreciate God's design for marriage and family while also recognizing that we live in a fallen world and everyone's situation is individual. There's no one-size-fits-all. Some people never get married, some cannot have children, sometimes a crisis or tragedy occurs, sometimes your capacity is limited by your health or the health and special needs of your spouse and/or children. Just follow the Lord's leading for you and your family; your life doesn't have to look like anyone else's ❤ God bless you!
I dream of being able to be a mother. But for financial reasons I cannot stay home, and for health reasons I cannot manage a full plate of work and motherhood. I try not to envy the women I see who do not have the health struggles I have but it's a very hard thing to accept when Gods path for your life is so very different from the path you hoped for.
“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; but the married man is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman and the virgin are anxious about the affairs of the Lord, so that they may be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to put any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and unhindered devotion to the Lord.
@@beccalucas7849 1 Corinthians 7:17 NIV [17] Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. Yes this is what I am doing, it does not mean that my hopes and dreams go away though. I have prayed for the Lord to change my desires so I don't long for things he doesn't intend for me but it has not changed yet.
I really don’t know how to become ready for another. I had severe pre-eclampsia that lead to c-section. Two readmissions due to dangerously high blood pressure. I was on 5 blood pressure pills a day for 3 months and I’m still on one 3.5 years later. To this day I still get panicky checking my blood pressure. I’ve put in the work to heal. I’ve come a long way but I don’t know how to do it all over again. Sadly, it was with my first so I am very afraid to do it again. I wrestle with it ever. Single. Day.
Women can have more children without fear if they are properly given the support, nutrition, mental helaing, tools and knowledge to do so. Otherwise when the father becomes emotionally detached, wont do therapy. Will not participate in raising the kids etc. Looks down on his wife for only working part time or being a Work at home mom. Its becomes a thankless and unappreciated burden or never being wnough and sleep deprivation that is very detrimental to ones health. We also have to remember soceity really needs a shift in putting ALL the pressure on moms. Its not the 1950s anymore. Over 75% of moms and women work payijg jobs. And are still expected to never get a day off, no nights off, no weekends off. Even God rested on the 7th day and fathers and husbands need to be put up to a higher standard. To step in. Play with the kids. Weekends both parents get a day off not just the dad. This is still very common. And its not ok. Even as a working at home mom she should be given enough humanity to get recharge time. Instead we are expected to be like the energizer bunny and go go go. Thats when motherhood becomes somwthing it was never supposed to be. We are commanded to bear eachothers burdens. Thats goes for husbands too.
Love this topic! I’m reminded of an amazing conversation Alex Clark had with Suzanne Venker. I’d love to hear Allie sit down and chat with her, she is awesome. I’m one of those women who regrets our “permanent decision” to stop having babies…my hubby does too. We thought for sure we were done after 4, and God has completely changed our minds and now we wish we could’ve had a couple more. My kids beg me to have another 😢 and I feel like I’ve denied them a beautiful experience of getting to care for a baby sibling as “big kids” and tweens now. I tell younger mamas all the time to have all the babies and don’t make a permanent door-closing decision too soon. It’s just another area of our lives society has convinced us we can “be in control” and I think God is reminding a new generation of women to trust Him and be open handed. You will never regret having a baby! 😍
This is us too! We are praying about embryo adoption. I had my tubes taken out after our fourth baby and not for any medically necessary reason. Came to regret it pretty quickly. Prayers for you as well
Why do so many women tell me they regret their children then? It’s very scary seeing all the moms everywhere saying never again and that they regret it and it ruined their marriage, etc
@@kimberlymurray304 I’m not saying it’s ok, it is sinful but I’m also not judging them. It’s objectively a harder life with children albeit more fulfilling and a blessing from God
lol. So childless women should just accept depression? This is the same woman who was speaking not long ago about “Not all women will be mothers even if they have a deep desire for it and that’s okay because God has a special plan for you.” Which is the most condescending trash from someone who makes being a wife and mom her entire personality.
On the topic of, people had big families to help with their farms. People had farms to feed their families. My grandparents had 10, and lived on a farm to feed and cloth them. So, that saying is totally not true.
I’ve had 2 missed miscarriages since my 2 boys came into our lives. I’m almost 32 and I just can’t decide. I’d love to have one more but I’m scared after 2 traumatizing experiences
Ok, so without warching the whole video, had I went ahead and had more babies when feeling low after my two, I might no longer be alive. Thank God I figured out later what was wrong. The health issue I was having causes anxiety and depression, among many other issues, and every birth or miscarriage makes it worse. I likely would have passed from cardiac issues at the end, which is the very late stages of this health issue. I have now reversed it all, but it's too late for babies. I'm all good with that as this is how God planned my life. ❤️
My husband got a vasectomy 5 years ago. We had 2 kids. It seemed like the number society says is good. I also had post partum depression and I just felt like it wasn’t best. Well a couple years later we regretted it but we just thought this is what we get for making a permanent decision. He got it reversed this spring and now I’m due next May. I’m 38 next week. I feel so blessed for this opportunity
That is great! Congratulations you are going to be a great mom of 3 children. May God bless your family.
I’m 37 and due in April! Congrats on your good news!
I am due may as well with my second. I am 31. Do you know what you're having? We are keeping it a surprise.
Woowww glory to God!! Such an encouragement!!
Encouragement to families that made irreversible decisions there are thousands of foster children available in most any community across the nation and all they need is a safe place to lay their heads.
As someone about to have number 7, I so appreciated this episode ❤️❤️
Congratulations, blessings and good health to you and your family
I stopped having babies bc I suffered postpartum depression. I have five alive babies and 5 miscarriages. I think babies are not a cure for depression, but we grow spiritually through the process of childbearing, depression can be seen as a gift to draw us closer to God and be dependent on Him, but it not easy and sometimes trusting God doesn’t mean to add more and more children into our family, sometimes is being faithful with the ones that He already gave us in raising them for His glory.
Exactly- so did I and it’s awful. She’s clearly never had it.
@@misionmaterna1152 same.
Same. I didn't feel normal until mine was about 4 years old. And the depression started while I was pregnant, so it was about five years of simply trying to stay alive. Children won't fix your marriage or your depression or your selfishness. For many, those things worsen. Jesus is the source, not others, even others we create.
There may be some women for whom embracing family life will be the cure for their depression.
But there are others for whom it make them worse.
Amen ! From another post partum depression mama !
0-1 was the WOOOORST transition for me. My husband was at basic training, people joked about sleep deprivation but it was honestly torture. I had no idea what I was doing. Breastfeeding was so much harder and hurt so much worse than I was anticipating. Nobody told me about the hormonal shift that is like, earth shattering the first time. I was in such a bad place I thought I would for SURE be one and done.
8 months later I accidentally (no accidents in God’s eyes! Lol) get pregnant with my daughter. I was so scared but my son had started sleeping a little better at least. Postpartum with my daughter was sort of a whirlwind and that pregnancy was physically harder for me, but I made it through!! Their friendship now at 5 and 3 is so beautiful.
My third is 2 months old and MAN it has been a breeze. The easiest by far and not for lack of the same sort of issues as the first two, but I have so much more confidence and let myself rely on my maternal instincts instead of fear mongering online. I have really been able to enjoy the newborn stage this time!! I already have baby fever for a fourth lol!
I agree so much. That hormonal change from 0 to 1 is a roller coaster. It gets easier and easier. I just had number 5. It like learning to be a homemaker. It seems like it aught to be easy but all the little bitty facets add up to something that actually takes effort and skill and training to do even remotely well.
@@tyrelnatashanuzum8956 for real!!! It’s so hard. Especially with really young babies lol. I’ve learned to live with an acceptable level of chaos without it feeling too insane.
Having one baby is super hard. Having a second baby for me was even harder. The third was easier, as was the fourth, and the fifth was a breeze. Barely anything changed. 😄
God has given me 10 children, so far😉, and I am 37 years old. “The fruit of the womb is a reward.“ I know that and I trust that because the Lord said it but also because I have felt it and lived it. It was hard to have my first 4, but the Lord grew me and sanctified me and through much prayer, He guided me and showed me to value my fertility years. They are such a gift. Just ask any woman who yearns for a child but is barren.
You don’t need to be rich. I married my husband when I was 19 and I was a carhop at Sonic Drive In. I have not worked outside the home since the day our first baby was born. God has provided. We prayed. We worked hard. We didn’t buy things that we couldn’t afford. For years, we only had one car which meant I couldn’t leave the house while my husband was at work, but it was all worth it. I have been so blessed. “Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of arrows (children). God’s word proves to be true over and over again. TRUST HIM. ❤❤🙏🏻🙏🏻✝️
Thank you for another beautiful message, Allie.
Amen 🙏 God bless your family ❤
i think Christians are sometimes so out touch with reality if you're going to be in poverty why have more children? even God told prophets not to have children in certain times because they were going to die, or those mothers in Israel where they have to eat their children because there was a famine,or when paul gave an advice to people not to marry or have children because difficult times were coming and he advice it was best to focus your time in god then a family but if you could not have selfcontrol of the flesh then yeah it was better to get married, y'all need to start being more wise,
You are rich beyond measure! Praise God 🙌❤️
I have 11 children and have recently became a widow. The only things I feel I did right on this earth are having my children, breastfeeding them all, and homeschooling them all ( plus no vaccines). We were NOT well off, at all. But what wonderful memories 😊
As a mom of 5 (one adoption) this is the conversation I absolutely connected with! Thank you ❤
Loooove this episode. Also want to throw out there that, as someone who went through years of infertility, I remember when these conversations made me wonder if God was withholding children from me because I wasn’t “good enough” to be sanctified by motherhood. That’s definitely not what anyone in these circles were saying, but my heart hurt and I couldn’t reason well in that pain. So I want to just say, to any gal who might need to hear it, infertility is wildly sanctifying and you are doing GOOD WORK waiting on the Lord - whether in singleness while longing to be married and have kids or in infertility directly. God is molding and shaping you, he hasn’t forgotten you. Absolutely not implying that this was said or inferred by this conversation, I just know where my heart and mind went back then and I wanted to say this in case anyone is hurting in a similar way. ❤
Thank you for this. 💗✝️
Amen, as a single woman early 30s waiting on God's plan for marriage or no marriage while leaning towards it yet holding hopes back in case it's not God's plan - it's hard hoping for a godly man/husband yet also trying to balance peace to accept his will not mine - the waiting time is hard but it's more important to fall in love & filled with God's love instead while waiting.
Love this! Thank you for your encouraging words. God has a plan- even in this difficult season.
Wouldn't trade my childhood as one of 7 for the world. Thank you Dr. Catherine! Its so rare to hear positive views on big family life! You GET us and I am so grateful for your voice. God willing I hope to be like the women you interviewed some day. 🙏
I have five, and one my greatest regrets is doing something permanent to prevent more. I wish we had ten now. Children are an inheritance of the Lord! Blessed is the man (and care I say woman) whose quiver is full of them.
Foster children!!!
HAVING MY DAUGHTER CURED MY DEPRESSION. It gave me purpose and meaning. Depression is skyrocketing and our society is discouraging people from having kids! The only things that actually matters in this world, family. The more we discourage having kids the more mental health suffers.
I went through post partum depression, but it was temporary. And I’m sure my mental health will go up and down again through life. But the feeling of purpose and true joy is permanent.
Most of us come from parents that became monsters after having kids. Please stop.
@@IyahHayiconsider breaking the cycle instead of trying to silence people who have a different perspective. She’s not far off. What I’ve noticed is that mental health is declining as society becomes more and more secular. Having less kids is just a byproduct of that
@@tntboom8793 if the people having kids were so happy, we wouldn’t be here.
Having a child to cure your depression is a WILD take
Correlation = causation fallacy.
It really does miracles having children. I would have never learned this level of patience, understanding, and absolute love without my daughter. Absolute blessing ♥️♥️
Pregnant with my third baby! ❤ building the family of Christ! 🪽
Congratulations ❤️ Had ours in April and it's been amazing. Never saw 3 but I'm so thankful. She's the best baby.
I wish my situation were different, but my mental, physical, and spiritual health declined significantly postpartum. My child is the absolute best, and yet I still struggle immensely from a traumatic birth and postpartum period. I have PTSD and panic attacks even thinking about having more children. My story can’t be the only one, and I think people should definitely be aware of the potential negative repercussions of childbirth.
@@nk-io3cf you are by far not the only one. I spent years seeing God as liar calling children a reward. Pregnancy was the first time I ever felt like unaliving myself in my life. Felt the same way after my second pregnancy, which was my last. Never again. I thank God for permanent solutions for no more pregnancies. My husband and I are completely confident in this. Better to have a sane, alive mother and wife than more kids and a lethargic or dead wife and mom.
You are not the only one.
Yes honestly THIS needs talked more about. The negative, health related issues side of childbirth and pregnancy. The serious LACK of support and responsibility on fathers and husbands to bear their load and carry the family burden as the father. Instead it's mostly ALL on the mother. Especially in society. The mother has no days off. No nights off. No weekends off. She's expected to be super woman and run on coffee and fumes. Meanwhile fathers get weekends off, days out with their buddies and they barely if ever watch and play with their own kids. Especially in the Slavic community. How i grew up.. Not All. But a few too many. Thats for sure. We NEED more moms and women to talk about ALL of it. The rawness of motherhood every side of it. Not just the positive rainbows and lollipops side.
I just commented with the exact same. Part of me longs to give my daughter a sibling. My husband wants another badly. But 3.5 years later I’m still traumatized by having my first. She’s the best thing to ever happen to me but I’m not sure I can do it again especially going into a pregnancy knowing I’d probably have pre-eclampsia again. I ask God to give me a sign. Was I meant to raise the one I have or am I meant to risk another? I’m just not sure.
@LaynieLashes it's absolutely up to you. And I'll admit knowledge and love ultimately casts out all fear. If you are torn about having another one the best thing you can do is be as informed as possible. Pls watch as many Ina May Gaskin video's as you can. If your partner is willing to watch that so much better as you will get the support you need as well. Having children is beautiful when we have thr knowledge and support we need. Pls also watch as many successful unnasisted home birth videos that you can. The lack of fear. The immense trust and peace these moms have in their bodies ability to birth as God designed. Just look at every other mammal. They go in a quiet undisturbed space to birth ALONE. What has encouraged me was well actually my husband and I had a lil too much fun one night and after 3 years of condom and natural birth control we were like what's the chance of getting pregnant from one night? It always took us 4 to 9 months just to conceive. And now I'm pregnant with twins. I was TERRIFIED at first.. Its absolutely makes no sense. But these home birth videos. Hypnobirthing videos. Succesfull fearless Twin home birth videos. Yes theres quite a few out here now... Unassisted birth video's. Mamas telling their story of birth with no fear has given me so much confidence to go into this birth fearlessly. It says in Hosea 4:6 "my people perish for lack of knowledge. " so do the research, pray, communicate with God about it. He will answer you as well and as you gain knowledge the fear will slowly dissipate. But you must be diligent and firm in your confidence and conviction and the knowledge you gain. Best of wishes to you and may God comfort you and bless you with immense peace as well.
I am currently pregnant with my third baby and had been feeling a little overwhelmed with having so many littles (3 under 3). This was so encouraging and helped me shift my perspective. Thank you for sharing and having this conversation!
Only about a quarter of the way through so far, but I appreciate her laid-back approach to this and not just giving blanket rules. So much of it depends on the family and your mind can change! The thing I always say is, having a baby is so incredibly exciting, but as a former teacher and kids ministry leader, whose husband is a former youth pastor… Parents need to just keep in mind that every baby they have is a whole person they are responsible to raise. Your job doesn’t end at 18 months, it actually never fully ends! ❤
I was in a very bad situation when I got pregnant. I considered abortion because I was so confused and in dispare. The doctor saw my confusion and pushed me for abortion. I just had good people by my side and I realized that all those problems I thought I had suddenly didn't matter anymore. Me and the father of the child had to put our acts together. So we became better people, we got married and had one more child. I am so thankful for both of them. I probably would have been in some mental asylum without my family.
The PTSD, panic disorder and PPD I acquired during my last delivery would say otherwise.
I’m so sorry this happened to you! I’ve had ptsd, and it was the scariest thing I’ve ever gone through. There is a 5 year gap between the baby I had ptsd with and the next one. I’m so so sorry!
You are not alone in that. I have a similar experience.
I ruptured while trying to labor. It is something you may want to carefully evaluate. I pray there was no loss in it. I’m now pregnant with my 4th after being on the fence with for 5 years, with my OB’s approval. Not every experience will be the same. I will pray for your healing.
It cured mine. Best thing that ever happened to me 3x. Love being a mom Thank you God!!
Yes ❤️ had our 3rd I'm April.
“Are you done?” “Do you know how babies are made?” “Was this one planned?”
Questions I’ve gotten while pregnant with baby 3.
Now with baby 5 I’m not even bothering telling people we are expecting another one.
I’ll keep my excitement to myself, to my immediate family, and the friends that I know will be happy for us.
But of course we had the “how?” But really what they wanted to ask was “was this planned?”
I’m only 32 I could have 10 more ❤
I fell into the post partum depression. But really it was doctors telling me I was not doing a good job feeding my baby.
My anxiety has been removed, I gave it to God.
I just had my fifth baby. Growing up, five was considered a small family in my culture (Mennonite) 7-9 was very normal, and anything more than that was considered large. Anyway, my husband and I left the Mennonites when we just had two boys, I became pregnant with my girl and everyone out here seemed to be so happy that I was having a girl and could be done now 😅 Then we went on and had another girl and I got a lot of comments about my perfect family of 2 boys and 2 girls... And THEN I got pregnant again and so many people made rude comments about "ruining the perfect family" in their own words and ways. Ugh. What they don't know is there's probably more to come 😂 Whenever someone asks how many we want we like to say 1 and ½ dozen. (which is a secret code for 7 😊)
@@rondil.93 I think large families are lovely. And people should mind their own.
Sure but every pregnancy comes with risks and it seems genetic issues the older you get . So it has to be a conversation for every couple on the amount of kids or leaving it up to god and so on .
Having 3 was the best thing that ever happened to me. I love my children and my life is full of laughter, purpose, and warmth. Thank you Jesus for my children.
Having my tenth- every baby God has provided a growth in our income. We didn’t have everything perfect with each one; I worked part time till my 7th. I’m surprised how happy having a big family has made me. We have a great marriage and lovely kids. I’m 45 now and pinching myself to still be carrying babies.
I Needed this episode. My pregnancy, birth, and first 6 months of the baby’s life have been hard! I’ve been doubting whether I could do more, but this episode gave me encouragement to welcome the idea of more children in the future ☺️💜
My friend told me "you will never regret having a baby, but you might regret never having more." I had.my 3rd in April and she's amazing.
So encouraging! We made a more permanent decision about this topic after 4 kiddos and have come to regret! Now praying about embryo adoption! Thank yall for this conversation!!!
Looks like a fun episode. 😊
I love children. Children are so important. They are the hope of our future, and they are important to God. What's important to God should be important to us.
Large families are amazing.
May God bless you and your family, Allie, and keep using your voice for the truth.
I have 3 wonderful children, but developed hormone positive breast cancer a few years ago and went through it twice. As much as it killed me inside to do this, because I have to take medication the rest of my life that you can’t get pregnant on, I chose to have my tubes removed so I didn’t have to worry about accidentally getting pregnant and harming a baby, among other reasons. Even though it felt like the right decision, I still am sad because I would’ve loved to have more kids. It really is a blessing if you are healthy and have the ability to have children.
Can anyone pray for me? I have desperately wanted to have 4+ children since I was like 11/12yrs old… when I was 14 I met a boy who had so much trauma of his own that he controlled me to the point of tracking my cycles and kept us from having any children til I was ready to divorce him for his abusive ways and boom I was forced into sex that created my beautiful daughter! I fully believe that God gave her to me for good even if the person was evil and his intentions nefarious!! However now I’m 34 and so so doubtful that I’ll remarry and have more children, I serve in our nursery every Sunday and I’ve tried to love other people’s babies in the waiting season faithfully providing my service to the church… I would love a prayer in agreement that I will be successfully married and have more children in a God centered relationship ♥️🙏🏻
🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻
It's a good desire to want to raise children. Despite what you've been through, you choose to love. Praise God you appreciate the gift of motherhood! With that said, respectfully, sister in Christ, you are not owed anything. God knows best, so empty your hands, give it up to our Lord and surrender to His will for your life. It may not be what you want right now, but it will become clear in hindsight that even this will work for God's glory. May God Almighty bess you, Kelsey, and peace & contentment be with you this day.
Praying for you, Kelsey💗
🙏
If it is His will, you will! Keep leaning into prayer with the Lord. Whether He answers our prayers the way we want or not, Romans 8 tells us He makes all things work for the good of those who love Him. Hugs mama
What a great and encouraging episode. I'm a mom of two girls, and my husband so wants another. Trying to pick the perfect time to try baby #3. I suppose God already knows. Thanks you. God Bless!
This was beautiful and so inspiring to listen to! Thank you Ally for hosting such a great conversation with this lovely lady.
God is our Provider, and His Grace is sufficient for us, our marriages and our children!
And it’s okay that that might be hard for us as humans to understand, yet He blows us away every time! 😍
God blessed us with twins , making four children so far. Im 38 and I will be happy to have as many more children as God will give us. Twins are so Cool! And now that I have more to do, I feel MORE satisfied and purposeful. Its very paradoxical. Having children and raising them is the best !
I am a mother of a 4 year old girl and a 1 year old boy. That is enough for me 😅. I am 38 yrs old. Both pregnancies were vaginal births and both of my babies got stuck at the birth canal (shoulder dystocia). Very scary births but thankfully they are healthy. I have sisters in laws around my age that have 4 children. I am happy for them but my body and my heart is not into having a large family . I want to focus on my two children. If you are still young and have a very stable and healthy marriage and lots of helping hands go for it but this can be difficult for some women. I crave alone time and I barely have it with two children. I can’t imagine with more 😅.
IMO, having 1-3 kids can be WAY harder than 4+... if I'd been told 5 years ago that I'd become Christian and have 4 more babies by 32 yo, I would've scoffed or been terrified. Yet God knows best, I just had our 5th and it's been very unexpected how certain things get much easier after 4. I do find myself with opportunities for solo time, etc. You'd be surprised. But also, we need to hold these babies tight while we can! One day they'll be busy building their lives and you'll have more alone time than you want. I've talked with older women in 40s and 60s and some wish they'd had more kids or are totally game to go through another pregnancy at 42+. Has really helped me appreciate my kids as the blessings they are.
@@chloecigarroa9847 not its not, that means that your not paying attention to all your kids equally, how you going to say that having one child is harder than having 5 kids? what are you smoking? especially in this economy ?
You should try to put them down for naps at the same time / quiet time and put them to bed the same time and that might help you get an hour or 2 ! You sound like you need a bit of a break which is understandable .. sleep training was the best choice we ever made as parents ..
After having my first baby in Thailand, I took for granted living in a culture that absolutely adored children to then having my second baby in America (Texas, even) where I’ve never felt more unsupported and cast aside in public… but thank you for the encouragement because we going for babe #3 now!
Cast aside in public? What would happen?
Great episode. So much resonated with me as a mom to 5 children. 4 boys and our 5th a baby girl. 🥹😍
I regularly have people ask if we’re done having children. Finally reached a point where I feel confident and comfortable enough to say “whatever the Lord has for us.”.
just don't have sex in the time you're ovulating it's as simple as that.
Love that. ❤
I also have 5 but my girl is my oldest followed by 4 boys. My daughter would love for me to have another baby!
We have five too. 2 boys and 3 girls. It's interesting that you say that, because I feel the same way... Finally ready to surrender the amount of children we have to the Lord. It scares me in some ways 😅
I recently had my 4th baby and we planned to be done, but I couldn't go through with the sterilization procedure (paperwork was already signed). Pregnancy was hard and post partum is hard, but I'm happy the door is still open.
praise God for your openness
Loved this conversation. We have six; the oldest is 10 and the youngest 7 months.
One of the toughest things about the decision to continue was the push back and disapproval of family members, who began urging us to stop after having 2. I dreaded each pregnancy announcement as they were met with subtle looks of incredulity and disgust despite the congratulatory words.
My husband and I decided to be open to life and accept whatever hits to our respectability come with it. Previous generations in my family experienced and/or condoned abortion, and I believe this has shaped their perspective about our family size. We are quietly defying their worldview (in action, not in words). My children are a blessing beyond what I could possibly even imagine before having them. My hope is in time, the hearts of those who scoffed are softened as they experience the love and connection with the youngest members of their family tree.
🌳💚💚💚💚💚💚
When i found out i was pregnant with baby number four i was so excited even though i was 6 month postpartum with my third. I cant wait till she meets her two sisters and brother.
I think I am pregnant with our 4th and I'm feeling nervous. All my kids have age gaps till now. I'm 5 1/2 months postpartum.
@roxayneochs1298 with my second I was 6 months postpartum. With my third there is a two year gap because I had a miscarriage from my second to third and now I'm pregnant with my 4th with again 6 months postpartum from baby three. I was nervous to but my obgyn reassured me everything will be okay . Since this is the time I've gone 6 months postpartum I know what to expect.
I have four. My oldest is 11 and my youngest is 5. I want more kids SO bad, but my oldest is in a wheelchair so we are maxed out on car space and it’s been so tight financially we could never afford an $80k passenger van with a wheelchair lift. I’m so sad about it all the time. I want another baby so bad but I feel so stuck. I’ve prayed and prayed about it. I feel like God is saying not right now, but the age gap between my youngest and a potential 5th baby is growing bigger. :( I ended up getting a puppy instead, who I love so much but she isn’t another baby.
My husband and I have been blessed with 11 children. We have always let the Lord decide when we will have another. WE can’t have children on our own, God has to give them ❤
😂😂 you people are delusional
I'm confused by some of the negative comments. I feel as though some were trying to make this conversation into personal advice. I took it as a conversation about general cultural attitudes in regards to children and motherhood, and a look into the beliefs and attitudes of those who had actively chose to have large families.
Of course having kids is not going to cure everyone's depression. They were suggesting that some cases of depression are due to being self focused, so having children would "cure it" for some women.
It’s definitely more of a cultural/generational advice episode vs individual. I agree a lot of people taking this topic incredibly personally and being very snarky about it.
As someone who suffered from depression for some 14 lonc years, I very much enjoyed the conversation. My children are the best thing I've ever done
After I had a baby, my love for pets never went away. I wanted more babies, but it didn't happen. But I've loved animals since I was born. You can want children and pets both
Preach. Allie seems to demean animal lovers in alot of her videos. Very sad
@@Sportyspice7 Yes it is
Thank you for this comment! That's actually the only part of this episode I didn't like. There's no need for this either/or mentality. I think loving innocent beings is a wonderful thing, and this applies to both children and animals. Also I believe that it's beneficial for children to grow up around pets!
@@noamessmann5158 Yes!
While the obsession with animals in our culture and comparing them to being the same as children, or treating them like babies (walking them around in strollers, etc.) is something I highly disagree with - I still love animals too. There’s nothing wrong with having both. We always grew up with pets in the house and my parents still constantly own a dog to this day.
NO, this is a dangerous message to spread. The child is more likely to suffer from depression because they have a biological predisposition for me. I was raised by a mother with depression and she was NOT able to take care of me emotionally. I had to get years of therapy to recover. Do NOT have children thinking is it the cure for depression. It is NOT.
Most people with "depression" have self diagnosed themselves rather than dealing with personal growth, or have been misdiagnosed by a pill pusher.
99.99% of the time, there is nothing to inherit, because there is nothing to inherit (assuming you could find evidence of hereditary depression to begin with).
Growing up with bad behavior and habits because the parents are immature, and irresponsible is not the same as being prone to inherit a mental illness.
I have chronic pain and I would not like to give it to an innocent child
Oh my gosh, my mental health was terrible in the years before I finally got pregnant with our first baby. I feel like the process of correcting my fertility issues definitely helped improve my mental health immensely, but I have been truly happy ever since I saw that first positive test. I'm expecting our second in just a few weeks!
Hallelujah!!!! Your channel has been a huge part of my transformation, God is good 🙌🏻🙌🏻.I was owning a loan of $37,000 to the bank for my son's brain surgery (Oscar), Now I'm no longer in debt after I invested $8,000 and got my payout of $340,500 every months.God bless Christine Evelyn Mackie🇺🇲
Hello!! how do you make such monthly, am a born Christian and sometimes I feel so down 😭 of myself because of low finance but I still believe God.
Thanks to my co-worker (Alex) who suggested CHRISTINE EVELYN MACKIE brokerage services.
She's a licensed broker here in the states 🇺🇸 and finance advisor.
After I raised up to 825k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my 10yrs old son's brain surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom.
I've always wanted to be involved for a long time but the volatility in the price has been very confusing to me. Although I have watched a lot of UA-cam videos about it but I still find it hard to understand
I've been wanting to read this book! So glad you had her on.
There’s something very dystopian about unironically referring to babies as “future members of the workforce.”
Also proudly on SSRIs because without them, I would not be able to function. Some days I struggle to function even though I am medicated. Having a child hoping that the child will “fix” you is a grossly warped perspective.
You're misinterpreting what they're saying..also, yes, kids grow to be adults and adults work to make a living. How is that dystopian?
@@gabib.1780 because thinking of a literal newborn child in terms of “future workforce participant” is weird and reeks of late-stage capitalism.
And no, I haven’t misunderstood anything. Perhaps you don’t understand the implicit meanings in what they’re saying?
This is so so good! I would have gladly had many many children but had multiple miscarriages, especially after the birth of my second. I was happy in my postpartum periods and I think deciding to grow your family is an individual choice. I think women should have as many as they want, and hopefully you have a spouse who doesn’t dictate the yes and no of it all.
My husband and I had one kid, and I didn't think I would have another. I couldn't imagine the idea of letting down so many kids, then I found God. Our oldest is freshly four and I'm now pregnant, soon to be 7 months, with our third! Decided we'll keep going til we can't!
How did you stop having that feeling of failing your kids? I tend to feel like I can't have more than the one because I'm just going to ruin them with my issues :(
@@nataliedenton1299 well I will say my issues come from a background of abuse, neglect, and so on from both parents. And when I tell people at my church when they ask how we came to be there, not even all of them get it, but I just found someone I trusted more than myself. God has all the answers for us and I just do my best to pray everyday and ask for His help, His guidance, and His mercy, not just for me but for my kids. Coming from a background of no real parents, I feel incredibly blessed to have found the Catholic Church, where we have Jesus, but also venerate His mother, and they both serve as amazing examples of how to handle things. Mary from a female perspective, as well as a mother's. I don't trust myself to do what's right nearly as much as I trust God to send me the right words daily, and I always make sure to read and pray when I'm feeling down or like I just can't do it all.
I will say it's taken a lot of time, my oldest is now four! So nearly four years and still getting work done daily, but where I am now is so much better than where I was and who I was. It's kind of hard to explain beyond reading and praying, and I can tell you the prayers I lean on and books I've dived into if you're interested (won't just include them because I know not all her listeners are Catholi) but if you're not I'll just ask if I can include you in my own prayers. I promise you if you forget your fears and just give it all to Him, He will not deny you wanting to do right by your baby.
I went from being angry and feeling lost daily to becoming a mom that sees if I want grace and forgiveness, I must be willing to give just that out daily. I won't act like everyday is perfect, but I'm doing much better
Ohmygosh, I saw an article not too long ago, and it said that families with four or more kids were the happiest families! ❤️ I’m four months postpartum, and a week after we had our baby, my husband and I were already planning when to start trying for our second baby! Lol I’ve definitely had postpartum ups and downs, but I am so grateful to have our son! My husband more recently joked about wanting to have 13 kids now 🤣
Such a great episode discussion! ❤️
This is encouraging to me as an expectant Mom who has just turned 40 It definitely is different this time around in a beautiful way. We’re so much more relaxed as we wait to welcome our 4th child.
Beautiful episode! I listened while nursing my 7th and was so encouraged!
One of my favorite episodes, thank you allie!
I have 9 children. 1 was planned 🎉 God knows what I need in all areas of my life, better than I do.
My oldest is 24, my youngest is 8
.. and just found out I'm expecting again. Great episode.
But then, if your babies keep dying like mine did, your depression gets worse. Miscarriage is hell.
Word,,,More babies the better and the better blessing for those in Christ. Be fruitful and multiply, work on that never ending quiver people@
so many good points in this discussion - thank you! I grew up as one of 7 siblings, and my son and his wife now have 9 children, so large families are something I'm very familiar with. As a teenager, I wasn't too happy having so many siblings, but as I became a young adult and started watching others my age who thought 10 people was a huge crowd for Thanksgiving, I couldn't help thinking "but that's not enough people to be a family" :-)
I wanted three but I have two boys but I am blessed by God. If I was younger I would try for a third one. Kids are a blessing.❤❤❤❤
I'm literally depressed because I can't have kids but thank you for the very helpful tip 🙃👍🏼
same here
Carnivore diet will help you ❤
My husband is my high school sweet heart. When I met him I was studying to become a labor and delivery nurse. I’ve always had a heart for children and people. I love to serve! When my husband and I got married I just turned 20. I prayed and felt the Lord call me to be a mother, and I left school. It took us almost 2 years to conceive. We didn’t know if we could have babies. However the Lord blessed us with two little boys! What a blessing my babies are to me! They truly are a BLESSING! I’m now a stay at home mama, and my husband is a youth pastor. The Lord has lead us to places we never thought we’d be or imagined to be. We will continue to let the Lord lead! I’ve desired to have more children and I’m praying for Gods will. ❤️
Loved this episode! Thank you for it!
Why did you quit school? Just curious
I am a mother to an 18 year old girl who is getting ready to graduate high school. I'm 44 and I have always had a desire to have more kids but the ordeal i went through with my daughter still haunts me because it was so tough. My husband is supportive and we talked about having more but by the time we did i was nearing 40. I feel happy with my 1 child but I wish I would have had at least one more with my husband ( my daughter's step dad)
I am going to be 38 soon and have one daughter as well. I would love one more Lord willing, but I’m nervous to try because of my age!❤
I have twin girls aged 3 and I was pretty sure I was done having kids. Since they turned 3 and I turned 29 I have started to become open to one more. Not yet as we are not financially able to but I know the lord will bless our finances in the future if his plan for us matches our desire ❤
I really am pretty sure I dont want more than 3 kids however I wouldn't get a permanent procedure to prevent children incase I changed my mind again. Unless i had a serious medical condtion where It was nesscarry
Children are a gift from God! We have 7 here with us and 1 in heaven God willing we will have at least 1 more 🙏
Sorry, just cannot agree that having more babies is the answer.
I trust believe it has alot to do with how one sees and values children. Does one do it their own way or does one see them the way God does.
Well the country most definitely needs more babies
I'm 37, and my husband is 41. We have a 14 and an 8 year old and are currently in the process of getting a vasectomy reversal. I learned not to make reproduction decisions right after having a baby!! It wasn't long after the vasectomy that we regretted it.
We are leaving this in God's hands and are prayerful we'll be blessed with another 1 (or 2)
I experienced terrible post-partum depression and anxiety, although it was a hold-over from two miscarriages and an ill-fitting career. The only thing that eventually "cured" my depression was becoming pregnant with my second living child. She was such a blessing in so many ways.
Childless *not* by choice listener here. While I really like Allie, her take on CNBC women is always a bit facile. She simply ..... doesn't get it or glosses over it with an easy "Well, you can foster or adopt" and it doesn't always work out that way for a variety of reasons that no one bothers to ascertain. It's not that easy but it sure is easy to say. To other CNBC women listening here, I say this: It's possible God has called all of us to the much more isolating and marginalized -- and therefore potentially harder -- calling of childlessness. The culture at large doesn't understand us; the church -- which you'd think would try to understand us -- doesn't understand us (sadly, doesn't even bother) and defines womanhood as motherhood as if these are interchangeable.
I know how hard it is every day. I know how incredibly deep the life-long grief runs. I know how you put on a brave face as you foray in to a child-full world and cry all the way home -- and maybe all night. I know how you hold your sister's new baby with grace and courage and never let her know how your heart is breaking. DON'T tell me that the kind of grace required to bear your childlessness with dignity in a world that doesn't get it isn't a kind of calling. It IS. We're sharing in the sufferings of Christ, my fellow CNBC women. We're walking the road *less* traveled, the road with far fewer companions and much less support or commiseration. Because it's an internal struggle, those around us don't see it. We, however, can often *see* the struggles of the moms around us and they're certainly well-represented in TV, movies, and books. We can see them and have a certain albeit incomplete level of understanding based on that observation. Our road, though, is invisible and so we get the callous remarks based on ignorance and the glossed-over solutions from a world that sees only with its eyes. We are walking, breathing examples of God's sovereignty -- and that makes people uncomfortable. Why is that couple childless? Why weren't they healed? Why didn't God do this or that to make it better for them -- but also for me, the casual Christian observer who feels unsettled that God's sovereignty, as represented by this unhealed couple, is so vexing. But wear that like a badge of honor, ladies. You remind people that they're not God, that only God is God, and that callings for others might be different -- *but no less valid or important* -- than their own. Just my 75 cents.
You get it. 😌 God bless you! We too are infertile for 15 years. We aren't understood by 99% of the world but can at least understand each other. Hugs! 🤗
Thank you for sharing. ❤
Needed to read this comment, thank you ❤
I'm not physically infertile, but I've had mental health challenges that have prevented me from having kids. I bear the shame, but it causes me to lean on God in a different way.
I completely empathize, and I would have probably judged me too when I was younger
Love this episode for so many reasons!!
I am childless - not by choice. I didn’t feel a calling for kids until I was past 30. Got pregnant (surprise!) last November with my first and it did not result in a living child. After that, I was then like well now I need to try again, and sadly the same thing happened. We are taking a break from trying again in order to get healthier but hoping to try again by next February. Now, I really really want to have children and a family. My life feels purposeless. I realize the Lord may never bless me with kids but one of my biggest regrets is waiting so long to even try, (I am 32 and my husband is 34 and we’ve been together 9 years!) People tell me I still have time but it is hard to not feel like I am very quickly running out of time.
You have plenty of time I had my first at 34 and I am now 37 and hoping for one more! I will pray for you that you get your sweet baby soon❤
We want to welcome no more or less children the Lord has to offer. They are such a blessing! Each family has different trials they might face.
Allie, please have on Mary Haseltine. She is such a powerful voice in this topic of respecting marriage and mothers and children especially during pregnancy, birth, & postpartum.
Awesome, I want to hear more of this story. I had my twin girls and my only kids at age 48. If you desire it, get it, do not allow statistics to hold you back, nor allow American doctors talk you out of having babies due to age.
Now my girls are 6, they keep me on my feet 24/7 and keep me youthful. Yes, I would have been in depression if I didn't have them. My husband, who wanted to talk me out of having them, is now enjoying them more than ever.
Having kids gives one the purpose to live and be happier.
What a sweet episode!!!❤❤❤
I thought I was finished after every one of my babies, only to change my mind later. My fifth baby is almost three months old, and in a way she did cure my long depression, which I admit was at its worst when I found out I was pregnant with her. I thought five would be too hard, but it ended up being the easiest transition ever. It felt like my life barely changed, except now there's yet another beautiful child to love. Now I feel strong and capable as a woman and a mother, like I can conquer the world.
Children gave me purpose and made me realize how selfish my instincts truly were/are. Everyday I have to pick up my cross and deny myself. In that way it has been truly healing to see the truth of what my purpose is and to fully understand what it means to humble myself. I didn’t want any children initially but God chose my husband for me and gave me a beautiful daughter and two more sons afterwards. Now I feel so honored and blessed to be a mother in a world that wants us to hate children. I am a much better person thanks to my kids, with still much work to do. And while I have struggled deeply with postpartum depression, I was ultimately led to Jesus and he pulled me out of a dark dark place. Now I can think more clearly, not everyday is perfect, but I would welcome more babies if it’s in my path 🙏🏽😊
Just because I didn't hear this being addressed, mother-hood looks different for us mama's with autism babes. Our children's childhood looks a little different than those who do not have autism. Mom's with children who have autism - I see you and I hear you. Just remember, this life is temporary and our eternal lives with Christ will be THAT much more amazing when we finally hear our babies speak in heaven! Can you imagine how amazing it will be?
Not long ago I remember not wanting to have kids because I didn’t want to pass down my debilitating mental health issues… then 2020 happened and I listened to Allie talk about how fears like that do not come from God. Since then, I married, established a relationship with Jesus, and am now pregnant with our second baby. ALL of my debilitating mental health issues went away when I was pregnant with my first baby. I stopped my medication and have yet to feel a need to restart any of it. I understand there is scientific backing showing how babies in the womb heal mamas and I can’t help but thank God because he allowed that to happen for me and my family. I also smiled when the guest talked about babies being sun lamps… I refer to mine as my salt lamp ❤
I’m a mom of 3 girls and open to however many the lord wants to bless us with! 🙏🏽❤️ A lot of times people try to scare you about continuing to have children as you’re getting older (which is my experience right now with my parents and other family members) but, we must not be afraid and must trust in the Lord with all our hearts! I trust that if He plans for us to continue growing our family, that He will make it so and that He will never leave us nor forsake us! 🙌🏽 I am one of two, and when I was younger and had not been saved yet, I did not want any kids. My husband is one of three, and had always wanted a big family. We got married young (I was just 21) and my mind was changed by the time I was 25, by 28 I had my eldest daughter 🥰 Now at 34, having three beautiful daughters, I cannot imagine life without my children and cannot wait for the Lord to continue blessing our family ❤️ If it is meant to be in His perfect will and His perfect timing 🙏🏽
Im pregnant with my second that we absolutely wanted, but living on my husbands very very modest income has been so stressful. Constantly torn between the desire to have more children & be a SAHM and feeling like we will have to stop at 2 kids so i can eventually go back to work.
Jesus will provide❣️🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️💰💵
Put your trust in God. He will provide for His children. It's us that won't fully commit to surrendering them and ourselves to God. We put the worry on us when we don't need to. Use what you have or what you know to make money from home. Any skill you have use it for Gods glory and watch your family be taken care of.
Urgent emergency please join me in prayer for all those affected families children animals approaching massive Milton cat5 hurricane to Florida they desperately need your prayers please pray for them God bless you all
Lord, please help these people. Let them make it through this hurricane with minimal loss, and give them the necessary supplies to make it through this tough time. Let yourself be known to them, and may many come to You. Help the people in Hurricane Helene. In Your Name, Amen.
🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I was the 6th child. I’m boot sure what the dysfunction was in my family’s lives but I was treated very poorly by my older siblings because our needs were not met. Our family was Catholic-
Before you follow her example- she’s rich and has lots of support. If you are not in the same position- don’t do it. She lives on cloud cookoo land.
She's a cut above us all! We're not worthy! 🙌🏻😂
All who follow Jesus and put their trust in Him are on cloud cookoo land then 😊
Urgent emergency please join me in prayer for all those affected families children animals massive devastation hurricane in Florida Georgia North Carolina South Carolina Tennessee continue Suffering many people missing power outages homeless hungry they desperately need your prayers please pray for them God bless you all...
🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻
When the current college generation reaches retirement age, social security will be gone. They will have to look to their own children for support in their old age.
My husband and I have 5 children. We are 32. I can say without a doubt that having babies has healed me to my soul and completed my purpose in life. It’s my life’s work and I am proud of that. My husband feels the same way. But having babies DOES cure depression
Has anyone here figured out a way to respond to relatives who make negative comments about family size? I’m expecting my 5th and my in laws starting making comments about how we should be done since we finally “achieved” to have both genders after our third child. They were not thrilled at number 4 and I constantly got told how worn out I look. I get comments on how I look depleted and exhausted and shouldn’t be nursing passed 6 months. I hate the fact that I can’t share the news with excitement and know they’re going to have something negative to say. Even my husbands boss had the nerve to tell him to stop having children. People are so unhinged with their comments. I am not very diplomatic so I’m having trouble coming up with ideas for what to say in the near future when inevitably everyone will find out and let their opinions be known. Worst part is I’ve never asked anyone to help me with anything.
What about those of us women who are physiologically unable to bear children? Kind of a depressing message you're sending.
I’m pregnant with my first child and needed some faith-building encouragement at the moment when I saw this episode going on. Trusting in God for a healthy family, and His provision and protection 🙌🏻
Congratulations!
Family is the best! Good luck
Amen, Praying for ya sis
Same here with my first!
Having babies cures “more sleep”
I have 3 with huge age gaps that it scared me and my husband into never having kids again. Sometimes I wonder if we would of had them super close in age we wouldn’t be as scared or if we will regret it 10 years from now not having more 😢 I also have dealt with depression, anxiety and we are not financially able to support more kids that has made a bigger impact into our decision 😔
I can't relate when I hear statements such as "every woman has a maternal instinct/desire". I'm a married Christian woman, and I've personally never felt it. Even as a little girl, I loved to play with dolls yes, but only barbies and fashion, never baby dolls (I did not understand the appeal of those). As an adult, I've tried to force myself to feel that so called "instinct", but no matter how hard I try or how much I pray that God gives me that desire, it hasn't happened yet. All of that to say that I think it's a shame that a podcast such as this one, with good info, could alienate a part of its audience, and make us feel like we can't relate, ironically. And no, I am not focusing on any career in particular, and although I have a dog, I don't consider him my child at all.
Do you like to disciple others?
@@kh_720 Not really. Why?
@@LykaLojust trying to understand you, better… do you like taking care of plants? Other people’s children? Cooking or cleaning?
@@kh_720 Only cleaning, but that's because a messy house gives me anxiety.
@@LykaLo hmm.. Do you ever serve with any babies or youth/children? At church? At your work place? You said that you didn’t like to disciple others, so, do you like evangelizing, instead?
I'm all for having children. However, it's cruel to put this kind of burden on a baby. If it doesn't work, the child suffers. We must be responsible adults. We must deal with our problems before we have children and not experiment with them in hopes they fix our lives.
Well said
So when humans first started reproduction did they take that in too account? My kids gave me no choice but to deal w my problems and have solutions asap.. it’s automatic when u have a child to care for.. if it weren’t for my kids I wouldn’t be making the amount of money I do today, if it weren’t for them Id probably still be a mess..
@@kvnd6577 Accepting responsibility for your actions and deliberately experimenting with a child's life are two different things, but I think you know that.
100%
Exactly! 💯
What about when your first has special needs and he or she needs you more than a typical healthy child?
Caring for a special needs child takes a lot and is very important to God (and also part of being pro life) ❤️ as others in the comments have mentioned, we can appreciate God's design for marriage and family while also recognizing that we live in a fallen world and everyone's situation is individual. There's no one-size-fits-all. Some people never get married, some cannot have children, sometimes a crisis or tragedy occurs, sometimes your capacity is limited by your health or the health and special needs of your spouse and/or children. Just follow the Lord's leading for you and your family; your life doesn't have to look like anyone else's ❤ God bless you!
@@amymccoppin556thank you for taking the time to write this ❤
I dream of being able to be a mother. But for financial reasons I cannot stay home, and for health reasons I cannot manage a full plate of work and motherhood. I try not to envy the women I see who do not have the health struggles I have but it's a very hard thing to accept when Gods path for your life is so very different from the path you hoped for.
“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; but the married man is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman and the virgin are anxious about the affairs of the Lord, so that they may be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to put any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and unhindered devotion to the Lord.
I’d love to encourage you to read 1 Corinthians 7 :17
@@beccalucas7849
1 Corinthians 7:17 NIV
[17] Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.
Yes this is what I am doing, it does not mean that my hopes and dreams go away though. I have prayed for the Lord to change my desires so I don't long for things he doesn't intend for me but it has not changed yet.
@@beccalucas7849 this does not mean people don't have hopes and dreams for their lives.
Lol also, some of us know one was done for bio. But we are open to fostering again
I really don’t know how to become ready for another. I had severe pre-eclampsia that lead to c-section. Two readmissions due to dangerously high blood pressure. I was on 5 blood pressure pills a day for 3 months and I’m still on one 3.5 years later. To this day I still get panicky checking my blood pressure. I’ve put in the work to heal. I’ve come a long way but I don’t know how to do it all over again. Sadly, it was with my first so I am very afraid to do it again. I wrestle with it ever. Single. Day.
Women can have more children without fear if they are properly given the support, nutrition, mental helaing, tools and knowledge to do so. Otherwise when the father becomes emotionally detached, wont do therapy. Will not participate in raising the kids etc. Looks down on his wife for only working part time or being a Work at home mom. Its becomes a thankless and unappreciated burden or never being wnough and sleep deprivation that is very detrimental to ones health.
We also have to remember soceity really needs a shift in putting ALL the pressure on moms. Its not the 1950s anymore. Over 75% of moms and women work payijg jobs. And are still expected to never get a day off, no nights off, no weekends off. Even God rested on the 7th day and fathers and husbands need to be put up to a higher standard. To step in. Play with the kids. Weekends both parents get a day off not just the dad. This is still very common. And its not ok. Even as a working at home mom she should be given enough humanity to get recharge time. Instead we are expected to be like the energizer bunny and go go go. Thats when motherhood becomes somwthing it was never supposed to be. We are commanded to bear eachothers burdens. Thats goes for husbands too.
Love this topic! I’m reminded of an amazing conversation Alex Clark had with Suzanne Venker. I’d love to hear Allie sit down and chat with her, she is awesome. I’m one of those women who regrets our “permanent decision” to stop having babies…my hubby does too. We thought for sure we were done after 4, and God has completely changed our minds and now we wish we could’ve had a couple more. My kids beg me to have another 😢 and I feel like I’ve denied them a beautiful experience of getting to care for a baby sibling as “big kids” and tweens now. I tell younger mamas all the time to have all the babies and don’t make a permanent door-closing decision too soon. It’s just another area of our lives society has convinced us we can “be in control” and I think God is reminding a new generation of women to trust Him and be open handed. You will never regret having a baby! 😍
This is us too! We are praying about embryo adoption. I had my tubes taken out after our fourth baby and not for any medically necessary reason. Came to regret it pretty quickly. Prayers for you as well
Why do so many women tell me they regret their children then? It’s very scary seeing all the moms everywhere saying never again and that they regret it and it ruined their marriage, etc
You can have it reversed!
@@allie9462 I have never once heard a woman say she regrets her children. How toxic to blame children for your own failures. 😔
@@kimberlymurray304 I’m not saying it’s ok, it is sinful but I’m also not judging them. It’s objectively a harder life with children albeit more fulfilling and a blessing from God
lol. So childless women should just accept depression? This is the same woman who was speaking not long ago about “Not all women will be mothers even if they have a deep desire for it and that’s okay because God has a special plan for you.” Which is the most condescending trash from someone who makes being a wife and mom her entire personality.
On the topic of, people had big families to help with their farms. People had farms to feed their families. My grandparents had 10, and lived on a farm to feed and cloth them. So, that saying is totally not true.
Ummmm... Is this satire?
I’ve had 2 missed miscarriages since my 2 boys came into our lives. I’m almost 32 and I just can’t decide. I’d love to have one more but I’m scared after 2 traumatizing experiences
Ok, so without warching the whole video, had I went ahead and had more babies when feeling low after my two, I might no longer be alive. Thank God I figured out later what was wrong. The health issue I was having causes anxiety and depression, among many other issues, and every birth or miscarriage makes it worse. I likely would have passed from cardiac issues at the end, which is the very late stages of this health issue. I have now reversed it all, but it's too late for babies. I'm all good with that as this is how God planned my life. ❤️