One thing I’ll say for 3’s: I’ve definitely quit jobs where my performance wasn’t rewarded because it wasn’t clearly attributed to the performer. Either because someone higher up took the credit, or because the bureaucracy was so thick that only tenure mattered no matter what the performance... At least a 3 knows that work done in the dark does not get rewarded. Sometimes being reward or incentive driven is smarter and an act of self love over just “doing your job”for job sake
The enneagram gets scarier and scarier the more you dive into it. As a self-preservation 3, you described my childhood exactly how I perceived it. So crazy. Thanks so much for all your videos :)
Thank you for this. I was admittedly listening to this while working on other things and felt a bit called out when I heard "just slow down for a moment" haha. As an ENFJ 3 I've noticed a lot of my work endeavors lead me towards more connections and relationships. But the works and projects I have are still the main focus. I totally related to the whole "asking how i can accomplish more" question that often comes up in discussions. Great video as always though!!
Correct, I will not try something if I think there is a chance I’ll fail, especially if it is something I care about. And then I feel like a failure for not doing it.
I can see how 14 vacations could be a thing (40:05). If each one is 3 days long, that's 42 days a year. There are 10 three-day weekends per year. Let's assume that your vacations allow for Church, rest, and service, so you can be on vacation and still be honoring God. That covers 30 days and leaves just 12 days left. Most people have 14 days of Paid Time Off. Boom! Now all you need is to decide what to do for your vacations, and how to afford them (if they cost money). I recommend inexpensive, exotic locations commonly stouted for "digital nomads." The eyes didn't fall off. I ate them! (42:04) 51:06 This was just too funny. Had to bookmark it to watch again! 😂 54:26 What to say to someone who is too goal-driven to relax? "Set some relaxation goals!” I love it! The epitome of, in good parenting, knowing the child and catering your advice to their personal needs and wants. I'm definitely more 1 than 3, but I had a period of my life where I acted just like a 3, all the way. I did indeed neglect relationships then. I learned from it that "Productivity is not the highest standard; Love is!"
Strong 3 wing and I've leaned so hard into the enneagram to help me CARE LESS about impressing, performing and seeking approval. "What if I genuinely didn't care what they thought?" It's been a freeing journey so far. Thx for all your work and videos AND coaching back in 2020!! Great investment.
I wonder, have you ever met three’s who do their work? I know one. Both wings. Probably demonstrates a propensity to hide his 4 wing. He loves helping people and admires helper personality and he loves his kids. Slowing down and showing his love is probably hard, but that love, when he shows it is tender and beautiful!!
I’m someone who evaluated as type 3, but I have not worked a single job where I didn’t get burnt out. The need for recognition hit the brick wall of working jobs where that need was never met and I would end up burnt out, even as my manager would tell me to not work late nights and early mornings. Easily pulling ~60-70 hours a week and got no recognition for it besides the bare minimum. I even got fired from some jobs where I was easily doing 10-20 hours more per week than the hardest workers in my office. My problem is I want to work, I love my work, but without getting feedback, I would get burnt out and fail eventually. I want to balance out who I am with what I should expect from my work.
So, I’m trying to figure out which enneagram I am... down a rabbit hole I came to the conclusion maybe a 3. I’m not even 5 minutes into the video and you said that most enneagram 3s don’t slow down enough to look into the enneagram unless it’s for growth purposes... and so now I’m trying to figure out why I’m even seeking the enneagram if it’s not going to grow me and push me to be a better me. Ha
I was thinking perhaps it be good to have maybe 2 or 3 people from the types you are describing with you. It be interesting hearing them give their takes on it. Heard that it was for helping person becoming healthier or balanced. (Like to know your take on that) Maybe, it be good to have some showing what healthier and describe what they did to improve. I just recently started to look into this.
Some of what you said I resonate with. Others… not so much. 4 years ago I was a 1, today I am a 3’2. I don’t know if that has anything to do with it. I think it has more to do with whether a 3 is a healthy 3?
I disagree with this way he described threes. I thought it was hurtful and short-sighted. Just because as a seven he doesn't understand threes doesn't mean they're hollow
The Social Status-Seeking 3 is American culture, though the counter type Self Preservation 3s may feel left out of this video 😜 Yes, I read a theory that 3s are born acting like 6s as wanting to be just another member of the team, but family reinforcement makes them become 3s. I’ve disintegrated to 9 hard enough when company politics voted me out and it felt like I died, I no longer existed, like I had dissolved. My favorite part was the random calling out of the ENTJ as a correlated type! ENFP-T, Sx=Sp, 3w4 7w6 8w9 😎
One thing I’ll say for 3’s: I’ve definitely quit jobs where my performance wasn’t rewarded because it wasn’t clearly attributed to the performer. Either because someone higher up took the credit, or because the bureaucracy was so thick that only tenure mattered no matter what the performance...
At least a 3 knows that work done in the dark does not get rewarded.
Sometimes being reward or incentive driven is smarter and an act of self love over just “doing your job”for job sake
You are so brutally honest to each type, Enneagram is not about sunchine and rainbows. Give us the harch reality - thats why i subscribe
The enneagram gets scarier and scarier the more you dive into it. As a self-preservation 3, you described my childhood exactly how I perceived it. So crazy. Thanks so much for all your videos :)
15:06 man I just eagered when you said there was a pattern for atracting things. I'm a 3 and I HAVE to use it now!
Hope you could understand what I meant, I'm still learning english
@@o_enamuelI just assumed you were an English native and made some typos.
Thank you for this. I was admittedly listening to this while working on other things and felt a bit called out when I heard "just slow down for a moment" haha. As an ENFJ 3 I've noticed a lot of my work endeavors lead me towards more connections and relationships. But the works and projects I have are still the main focus. I totally related to the whole "asking how i can accomplish more" question that often comes up in discussions. Great video as always though!!
Correct, I will not try something if I think there is a chance I’ll fail, especially if it is something I care about. And then I feel like a failure for not doing it.
42:30 Checklist begins
I can see how 14 vacations could be a thing (40:05). If each one is 3 days long, that's 42 days a year. There are 10 three-day weekends per year. Let's assume that your vacations allow for Church, rest, and service, so you can be on vacation and still be honoring God. That covers 30 days and leaves just 12 days left. Most people have 14 days of Paid Time Off. Boom! Now all you need is to decide what to do for your vacations, and how to afford them (if they cost money). I recommend inexpensive, exotic locations commonly stouted for "digital nomads."
The eyes didn't fall off. I ate them! (42:04)
51:06 This was just too funny. Had to bookmark it to watch again! 😂
54:26 What to say to someone who is too goal-driven to relax? "Set some relaxation goals!” I love it! The epitome of, in good parenting, knowing the child and catering your advice to their personal needs and wants.
I'm definitely more 1 than 3, but I had a period of my life where I acted just like a 3, all the way. I did indeed neglect relationships then. I learned from it that "Productivity is not the highest standard; Love is!"
Strong 3 wing and I've leaned so hard into the enneagram to help me CARE LESS about impressing, performing and seeking approval. "What if I genuinely didn't care what they thought?"
It's been a freeing journey so far. Thx for all your work and videos AND coaching back in 2020!! Great investment.
Phenomenal stuff, Tom. Thank you for your ministry.
Who is the person underneath this persona is exactly how I feel around a 3 after some time
Thank you very much, I really enjoyed this checklist. Please keep making videos
I thought as a type 9 I’d be safe from being roasted this video. Turns out nope 53:58 😂
I wonder, have you ever met three’s who do their work? I know one. Both wings. Probably demonstrates a propensity to hide his 4 wing. He loves helping people and admires helper personality and he loves his kids. Slowing down and showing his love is probably hard, but that love, when he shows it is tender and beautiful!!
I’m someone who evaluated as type 3, but I have not worked a single job where I didn’t get burnt out. The need for recognition hit the brick wall of working jobs where that need was never met and I would end up burnt out, even as my manager would tell me to not work late nights and early mornings. Easily pulling ~60-70 hours a week and got no recognition for it besides the bare minimum. I even got fired from some jobs where I was easily doing 10-20 hours more per week than the hardest workers in my office.
My problem is I want to work, I love my work, but without getting feedback, I would get burnt out and fail eventually. I want to balance out who I am with what I should expect from my work.
“We are trying to love you…help us love you” LOL as a 3, I felt that one
The hollow metaphor was where I disagree as a three with a four wing. Four has too much depth and I struggle with people who are so superficial
48:11 they're a self-pres 3 😂
So, I’m trying to figure out which enneagram I am... down a rabbit hole I came to the conclusion maybe a 3. I’m not even 5 minutes into the video and you said that most enneagram 3s don’t slow down enough to look into the enneagram unless it’s for growth purposes... and so now I’m trying to figure out why I’m even seeking the enneagram if it’s not going to grow me and push me to be a better me. Ha
Love u tom, great video👍
Some of that description about the chameleon sounded like a 2. Great video!
You’ll remember 2 is a wing of 3.
Four is up next! *puts on jock strap and cup.*
I was thinking perhaps it be good to have maybe 2 or 3 people from the types you are describing with you. It be interesting hearing them give their takes on it. Heard that it was for helping person becoming healthier or balanced. (Like to know your take on that)
Maybe, it be good to have some showing what healthier and describe what they did to improve. I just recently started to look into this.
Yes, this would be good in the Playlists.
as 5w6, i can feel that part of 3 inside
43:22 im a 3, my best friend of 9 years is a 7. you cant even imagine how many reality checks this girl gives me on a daily basis 💀
Thank you so much
Some of what you said I resonate with. Others… not so much. 4 years ago I was a 1, today I am a 3’2. I don’t know if that has anything to do with it. I think it has more to do with whether a 3 is a healthy 3?
Is there any hope for a very unhealthy 9 who also has ADHD?
Ouch!!! Wow… hollow on the inside…
I disagree with this way he described threes. I thought it was hurtful and short-sighted. Just because as a seven he doesn't understand threes doesn't mean they're hollow
The Social Status-Seeking 3 is American culture, though the counter type Self Preservation 3s may feel left out of this video 😜
Yes, I read a theory that 3s are born acting like 6s as wanting to be just another member of the team, but family reinforcement makes them become 3s.
I’ve disintegrated to 9 hard enough when company politics voted me out and it felt like I died, I no longer existed, like I had dissolved.
My favorite part was the random calling out of the ENTJ as a correlated type!
ENFP-T, Sx=Sp, 3w4 7w6 8w9 😎
What do you want in life?
In relationship?
Handling emotions?
Being who other people want me to be is not necessarily what I want.
Just being who I am is enough.
What if I value success differently?
What do I admire about myself?
What could I do if I didn’t need to be successful or likable?
I want to be competent and successful AND I want others to know that I'm competent and successful. Two birds!!