Why so many married couples live like roommates?

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  • Опубліковано 7 лип 2020
  • When couples get together very often, they're so happy to find a companion, someone reliable, stable, comforting, steady, safe. When you lean too far, into that sense of safety, all the chemistry and the mystery and the unexpected and the passion falls to the wayside because the safety and stability dominate. That is why so many couples ended up living like roommates.
    Well, here's the key. Many people grow up learning that the key to a great relationship is to compromise, to meet 50/50 and to never impose too much if it's going to make your partner uncomfortable. I completely disagree with that. I think the key to passion and will being roommates, and so much more, is learning to be uncompromising. What do I mean by that? When you are uncompromising, you learn how to bring all of who you are, and make room for all of who your partner is. You learn to accept yourself and you learn to accept your partner being uncompromising in bringing all of who you are to the relationship and when you do that, and you're not holding back. You're not dominating, you're just revealing and sharing the truth of who you are. Well, then have roommates is just not one of the things on the table. Then there's passion and dynamic energy and emotional intimacy plus the stability that you appreciate it in the first place.
    If you'd like guidance in how to transition from being roommates into really enjoying a passionate partnership. Well, come find me. My name is Alexandra Stockwel. My website is alexandrastockwel.com. I have devoted my life to showing couples how to create beautiful, stable, dynamic, passionate relationships and I love to show you as well, if that's something you want to experience.
    Watch on Video: • Why so many married co...
    We hope you learned something of value from this video. To reach Alexandra with Alexandra Stockwell Coaching and Consult directly goto: www.alexandrastockwell.com or email them at: alexandra@alexandrastockwell.com
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 36

  • @williamkanode2610
    @williamkanode2610 2 місяці тому +27

    I have been married for 50 years and haven't been intimate for over 1/4 century as we sleep in different rooms. I stay married instead of living in a cardboard box. She would take EVERYTHING that I own so I stay married and we share the house. I usually wait till she leaves every morning before getting out of bed. At my age I will soon pass on and will be out of this situation.

    • @sideman7117
      @sideman7117 Місяць тому +3

      I’m in the same boat. 54 years. I’ve learned to be reasonably happy despite the situation-even though I’d love to experience the passion mentioned in the video.

    • @azothamenti3378
      @azothamenti3378 29 днів тому +2

      That sucks brother.sorry for your loss of time and vitality.
      The more i learn about women is that they are selfish.they take and wont gibe unless theres something in it for them..
      And to think she would allow you to ne homeless turns my stomach at the cold snake she wpuld be to do that to someone she claims to love .
      All i can say is do your best to do what makes you happy when she stops it its because she doesnt care for your feelings.
      If you can try to see if any relatives will take you in.good luck my man

  • @talus007
    @talus007 24 дні тому +9

    No they don’t. Women would never treat a roommate the way they treat a husband🙄

  • @alohaohana901
    @alohaohana901 Місяць тому +10

    When you see people at their worst (when they are sick with flu, when they have a bad attitude and all the rest), you can't unsee it. Love can get you to the end, but passion and lust is very short lived.

  • @kravenmoorehead7927
    @kravenmoorehead7927 2 місяці тому +18

    It's cheaper to keep her.

    • @sideman7117
      @sideman7117 Місяць тому +3

      The price of freedom is higher than many men can afford.

  • @melkerner
    @melkerner 2 місяці тому +19

    Because you are faced with bankruptcy or forced celibacy - not much of a choice.

    • @airthrowDBT
      @airthrowDBT Місяць тому

      It's not really forced celibacy. You can find a way.

    • @melkerner
      @melkerner Місяць тому +1

      @@airthrowDBT Not if she won't participate in even a kiss. Forced celibacy has no place within marriage. it is NOT an act of Love.

    • @airthrowDBT
      @airthrowDBT Місяць тому

      @@melkerner Yes agreed, but you don't have a marriage. Sexless marriages aren't marriages. You choosing to be celibate is your choice.

    • @airthrowDBT
      @airthrowDBT Місяць тому

      @@melkerner I say this coming from a place of support not critique. I've been there myself and it's terrible.

  • @henrygoboy8621
    @henrygoboy8621 Місяць тому +3

    most folks don’t even know what marriage is. confuse it with long term dating.
    find out what marriage means before being married

  • @ElizabethMartinez-vi2rg
    @ElizabethMartinez-vi2rg Місяць тому +2

    There are many reasons why people end up living like room mates like physical limitations with pain that your body feels and never leaves. Pain caused by someone just barely touching you from Fibromyalgia, Thyroid disease, or Lupus. There’s the changes women go through during and after menopause like dryness and painful sex that makes you hate it. Though you go to your GYN and try whatever they prescribe to you or even OTC medicines, expensive hormones that don’t work…. It isn’t just intimacy or emotional issues.

  • @peterm2152
    @peterm2152 Місяць тому +3

    bcause they learned to hate each other!

  • @Because223
    @Because223 20 днів тому +1

    I get it my wife and I are based on friendship and companionship so at the end of the day that’s what marriage is all about finding your best friend for your life partner and companion that’s where the real love comes from

  • @redbaron07
    @redbaron07 19 днів тому +1

    To answer the question posed: Because (1) it would be illegal for the man to kill his wife (not so in the Roman Empire!), and (2) he knows that family law will screw him over in a divorce. Pick one of these and change it, and women will suddenly become more agreeable and everyone will be happier!

  • @Lacuna1122
    @Lacuna1122 3 місяці тому +1

    It's called the Coolidge effect

  • @Chris-hp2gg
    @Chris-hp2gg Місяць тому +2

    Why buy the cow when the milk is free?😂

  • @sbwlearning1372
    @sbwlearning1372 Місяць тому +1

    Its all to do with her transactional approach to carnality

  • @darrellborland119
    @darrellborland119 5 місяців тому +2

    An excellent talk. A film recommended is "Fireproof" from 2008. To save his marriage, a tool is: "Study your wife". It works, from a fellla with 25 year marriage. thanks. Subscribed.

  • @youtuber3328
    @youtuber3328 2 роки тому +3

    does this video talk about failed relationships because if they fail then they need to live in separate homes

  • @balticstain7150
    @balticstain7150 2 місяці тому +5

    It's called going through menopause...

    • @maxsparks5183
      @maxsparks5183 2 місяці тому +4

      Sometimes, but more often than not menopause is not the reason.

  • @rickycarroll9900
    @rickycarroll9900 3 місяці тому +2

    We feel this way with my wife can you help

  • @azothamenti3378
    @azothamenti3378 29 днів тому +1

    For clarity….men do not need a woman to be mysterious…..thats just stupid.men are looking for predictable stability.why?so that we are certain that our effort and heart is not wasted on some mysterious woman.which to anyone with a brain equals deception. A woman…wants that mystery and when she no longer sees a mystery its now a boring thing.that is dangerous for a relationship……because at some point all mystery will be gone in time.
    Next?sues bored…..what shes saying is she need instability to keep things exciting.
    Men?do not want that.

  • @herb2694
    @herb2694 6 днів тому

    What complete nonsense. Nothing this woman said made any sense!