I think the main reason you should not announce you goals, is that there is a big chance others doubt your capability or pass their own personal judgements. That can make yourself doubt your own capability.
I don't think that's the main reason. I think that once you try to boost your identity and become socially affirmed you're just less likely to take action. (opinion though)
I think the more you talk about it, the less likely you are to do it. It's like when you have this brilliant idea and you talk about it because your subconscious knows you won't ever do it, so now you pass it on so you don't die with it.
yeah i agree with you, even your closest friends can become envious and will try to hold you back on achieving your goals.. so its good to shut up sometimes.. :)
@@jannikneuwirth2243 True... keeping things for yourself can also work with making good decisions and staying true to yourself. Because sometimes you just need to think about it and you realise you have to say no to it.. but when you already told people they are like 'Oh I thought you wanted to start with this and this' and they see it as a negative thing so it looks like you 'failed' but in fact you just said no what can also be a good thing. So it feels good to keep things for myself so I can make a good decision without people interfering.
The reason you should not talk about your goals is because on a subconscious level you are inviting 'validation' from others. This means you have doubt. And doubt is fear. And this invalidates your power to create what you desire.
Yes!💯 I am a big believer of not sharing your goals on social media because you make it all about validation/likes etc. For example, going to the gym without posting it and learning to motivate yourself is the only key to success in the long run. I mean people know I go the gym but I always say I want to be stronger mentally when people ask about my goals 😉 but yeah.. I have other goals as well but I keep them for myself 🤐
SmirkyRayan, The whole point is to not tell people about your intentions, but sharing your accomplishments is ok. Once you've achieved a goal, you can tell your friends and family about it and celebrate it. I don't see it as depressing video, this is just a strategy.
that's very true. Imagine you set and announce to everyone a goal to lead a healthy lifestyle and be fit, while your friends are the opposite. What's gonna happen is that people are just going to get jealous because they can't/struggle to do this themselves and many of them will start demotivating you and creating circumstances to deter you from your goal as much as possible. This is not because they have bad purposeful intentions, but simply because there is an inner child inside everyone, which acts unconsciously
To me, I don't tell people my goals because then, after some time, people will ask, "So you're still working on X?" or "Hey, have you actually achieve X?" Then it will demotivate me because it's like I'm wasting a lot of time but still have not achieve anything in life. I keep myself quiet and only tell people once I have achieved something. It's better to come out as a surprise to other people then to appear as a slacking failure in front of everyone.
Muhaimin Zulkarnain yeah, I feel that one. I've repeatedly told people to stop asking, because it fucks up my focus when I constantly have to 'update' people.
LAW 1: NEVER OUTSHINE THE MASTER LAW 2: NEVER PUT TOO MUCH TRUST IN FRIENDS, LEARN HOW TO USE ENEMIES LAW 3: CONCEAL YOUR INTENTIONS LAW 4: ALWAYS SAY LESS THAN NECESSARY LAW 5: SO MUCH DEPENDS ON REPUTATION-GUARD IT WITH YOUR LIFE LAW 6: COURT ATTENTION AT ALL COST LAW 7: GET OTHERS TO DO THE WORK FOR YOU, BUT ALWAYS TAKE THE CREDIT LAW 8: MAKE OTHER PEOPLE COME TO YOU-USE BAIT IF NECESSARY LAW 9: WIN THROUGH YOUR ACTIONS, NEVER THROUGH ARGUMENT LAW 10: INFECTION: AVOID THE UNHAPPY AND UNLUCKY LAW 11: LEARN TO KEEP PEOPLE DEPENDENT ON YOU LAW 12: USE SELECTIVE HONESTY AND GENEROSITY TO DISARM YOUR VICTIM LAW 13: WHEN ASKING FOR HELP, APPEAL TO PEOPLE’S SELF-INTEREST, NEVER TO THEIR MERCY OR GRATITUDE LAW 14: POSE AS A FRIEND, WORK AS A SPY LAW 15: CRUSH YOUR ENEMY TOTALLY LAW 16: USE ABSENCE TO INCREASE RESPECT AND HONOUR LAW 17: KEEP OTHERS IN SUSPENDED TERROR: CULTIVATE AN AIR OF UNPREDICTABILITY LAW 18: DO NOT BUILD FORTRESSES TO PROTECT YOURSELF-ISOLATION IS DANGEROUS LAW 19: KNOW WHO YOU’RE DEALING WITH-DO NOT OFFEND THE WRONG PERSON LAW 20: DO NOT COMMIT TO ANYONE LAW 21: PLAY A SUCKER TO CATCH A SUCKER-SEEM DUMBER THAN YOUR MARK LAW 22: USE THE SURRENDER TACTIC: TRANSFORM WEAKNESS INTO POWER LAW 23: CONCENTRATE YOUR FORCES LAW 24: PLAY THE PERFECT COURTIER LAW 25: RE-CREATE YOURSELF LAW 26: KEEP YOUR HANDS CLEAN LAW 27: PLAY ON PEOPLE’S NEED TO BELIEVE TO CREATE A CULT-LIKE FOLLOWING LAW 28: ENTER ACTION WITH BOLDNESS LAW 29: PLAN ALL THE WAY TO THE END LAW 30: MAKE YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS SEEM EFFORTLESS LAW 31: CONTROL THE OPTIONS: GET OTHERS TO PLAY WITH THE CARDS YOU DEAL LAW 32: PLAY TO PEOPLE’S FANTASIES LAW 33: DISCOVER EACH MAN’S THUMBSCREW LAW 34: BE ROYAL IN YOUR OWN FASHION: ACT LIKE A KING TO BE TREATED LIKE ONE LAW 35: MASTER THE ART OF TIMING LAW 36: DISDAIN THINGS YOU CANNOT HAVE: IGNORING THEM IS THE BEST REVENGE LAW 37: CREATE COMPELLING SPECTACLES LAW 38: THINK AS YOU LIKE BUT BEHAVE LIKE OTHERS LAW 39: STIR UP WATERS TO CATCH FISH LAW 40: DESPISE THE FREE LUNCH LAW 41: AVOID STEPPING INTO A GREAT MAN’S SHOES LAW 42: STRIKE THE SHEPHERD AND THE SHEEP WILL SCATTER LAW 43: WORK ON THE HEARTS AND MINDS OF OTHERS LAW 44: DISARM AND INFURIATE WITH THE MIRROR EFFECT LAW 45: PREACH THE NEED FOR CHANGE, BUT NEVER REFORM TOO MUCH AT ONCE LAW 46: NEVER APPEAR TOO PERFECT LAW 47: DO NOT GO PAST THE MARK YOU AIMED FOR; IN VICTORY, LEARN WHEN TO STOP LAW 48: ASSUME FORMLESSNESS
I usually don't tell everyone the full details of my goals. People ask me what I'm majoring in or post college plans, and I say stuff like "Oh, probably something in the fine arts or business or something..." because of the previous negative responses I have gotten before. So I'm keeping all my goals to myself.
i was once asked what i was going to do in college in the next year by a substitute college english teacher. i said i was going to music University in bristol. He said no you wont, they wont except someone who's slow at learning like yourself. i then explained i'd already been and auditioned only to get recommened by the university and the descision was pending. He still looked sternly and said something like they'll never accept you, you'll do another year here first before they even consider someone like you. flash foward and im now already on my second year of University and they did except me that year. So dont let anyones negative or 'realistic' opinions/predictions from others make you loose balance. keep fighting for what you want. just because someone is a teacher or older doesnt mean that what they speak is right. Also great video man!
The only time I lost weight was when I started exercising alone without telling anyone. I used to tell people all the time and end up discouraged or unenthusiastic. You wanna do something, do it without announcing it.
I've always been told that the less you reveal about yourself to other people, then the more power you have. Mainly because you have the element of surprise, if/when someone realises that you have a skill or talent in something. Which is obviously waaay better than if they watched you do the same thing over and over again and didn't know how to do it themselves, because that's just boring for anyone. I've learned this the hard way by showing people unfinished projects and then wondering why the impact of my work isn't as effective once it is finished... because people already know what the hell it's going to be.
Now the real question is: Can I use this to my advantage? BRB, telling all my friends that my goal is to constantly eat pizza and procrastinate on all my work
Oops, this is kinda long, feel free to respond to just a part of it: Hey, Tom. I remember hearing this from my communication professor. He did site who he got it from, I wonder if it's the same guy you sited.. I'm too lazy to grab my notes, but he also mentioned that your friends giving you crap for not doing what you promised could discourage you. I wonder if this feature (or phenomenon) is common among all people or a certain majority. I mean, I see a good amount of people who bank their success on the image of their accomplishments or greatness. I mean, more opportunities may arise for those who can speak about their goals (possibly because by conveying goals, they'd be seen as more motivated and competent) and some may be more motivated to accomplish goals if it were to maintain their bolstered image of success. I guess I'm wondering if humility or pride leads to greatness. Change of topic: I recently took a Myers-Briggs personality test online. I'm equally intrigued and bothered by my results (INTP T). Do you happen to have a video regarding personality tests? Specifically, of it's benefits and detriments? I would think the detriments include being prone to confirmation bias (regarding traits) and creation of mental boundaries (within the "predictions"). The benefits would be understanding career goals and interpersonal roles, strength and weaknesses.
Makes sense. I also think that people will discourage you. Either on purpose or unintentionally by saying something like, "man! I wish I had your skills and motivation. That's great!!! I could never do something as hard as that!!" (Planting tiny seeds of doubt in your mind.)
I've learned to keep my goals to myself after experiencing tremendous competition and envy from friends who say "that's wonderful" and then copy what I plan to create.
This video is spot-on. How many people get so much gratification from announcing their goals that they act like they already achieved them and therefore do nothing?
This is true..I've tried it.. It's like when you keep your goals unannounced..It builds a pressure which fuels.. That's what happened for me.. Cheers Tom..
I regret telling people my goals. They suddenly want to do the same thing I do based off of the fact that I'm doing it. And then they act entitled as if its their own thing. Then I seem petty or like the hater if I don't act happy about it. I'm not selfish but the type of people I deal with are.
not only write down your goals, but also try to go over them twice or three times a day, and take a few minutes to think about them. Overtime, this should help to keep your brain on track, and work to achieve them. Source: personal experience.
Exactly why I just keep quiet, do my own thang, in my own little world. If people don't know, they don't care, they can't judge, they can't opinion or anything.
Some additional thoughts and responses to questions I've been getting! - "Does this mean you should always be secretive about your goals, and refuse to ever tell anyone even if they ask about them?" My friend Martin had a great response to this: "If people ask me, I just try to remain humble about the goal instead of painting it as this big, grand thing." I think the way you frame the goal is very important. You don't have to make a big point of being secret about your goals; just be humble about them if asked. - "Doesn't this conflict with your Impossible List?" This was an immediate thought of mine when I was reading the research. While my Impossible List is a way of announcing my goals in public, I do think it's a bit different. The biggest difference is that I'm not having an in-person interaction with someone where I tell them my goal and get a positive response. Instead, I'm taking the list of goals I've written down for myself and simply making it public. Because the entire point of the Impossible List is to constantly be crossing things off the list and iterating by adding more difficult/ambitious subgoals, I found it motivating to make the list public. I feel accountable to my audience by doing it. There are several goals on the list that are crossed off *because* I knew they were public, and I was incredibly excited to finally cross them off. To me, the Impossible List is less an announcement of the things I *will* do, and more a record of the things I *have* done and a commitment to do more. One improvement I've wanted to make to the Impossible List concept for a while would be a specific page for each goal that lists out the steps I need to take along with time frame commitments. This is something my friend Matt is doing with his project Money Lab right now; he publicly commits to a challenge, and then updates that challenge's blog post daily with his progress/victories/setbacks. I think I should probably take this approach with my next big project. That being said, perhaps a private goal list would be more effective than a public one! I'm honestly not sure; it'd be cool to see research done on it. The research in this video specifically looked at the announcement of goals in-person, to people in the same room. For now, my chosen strategy will be to keep my goals on my Impossible List, to keep quiet/humble about them in my in-person interactions, and to seek out accountability partners who I trust to hold my feet to the fire. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts :)
The idea of remaining humble instead of painting the goal as a "big, grand thing" resonnated well with me, and I'll definitely use it. Thank you for providing these extra answers, Thomas! :)
Ashley, I can relate. Not saying anything is way better then having someone piss on your goals. We should both have the goal of finding more supportive people in our lives, but don't tell anyone this, just do it!
Andre Carter exactly, anime has taught us that you should tell the whole world your goal and scream it out at the top of your lungs whenever that chance to arises. But this is reality and most people aren't as motivated as fictional characters lol
The level of knowledge i acquired since i subscribed to you is astonishing. You are a motivation person, not only do you teach us how to study, but you show us how to focus on it, to set goals. I am taking my imaginary hat of my head, and thanking you.
What sucks is everytime i get super pumped about something and have clarity, goals, ready to conquer and take all sorts of risks; i would tell close ones what i want to do and even though they show 'passive' excitement, i would go back on my computer and feel this heavy feeling as if i just deflated all my energy out, as if what got me pump like helium got leaked out and now I'm back to ground zero. This is why i decided to never tell a soul anything i do or want to do, and let achievements speak for themselves. it feels like a false feeling of achievement...
Everyone asks me what the fuck am I doing or what I have planned. So I tell them they say "how long you been doing it" I say about a week and then I drop it. But then they steal my idea and quietly do what I said I would do.
you wanted to make a joke, but that's actually the point of this research, imo. Our mind associates actually accomplishing the goal with the moment we tell our friends we accomplished the goal, and thus telling them earlier than we should confuses it by giving us much of the satisfaction it expects from the accomplishment. So, in a way, our mind does indeed believe that our goal is telling everyone our goal.
You are talking pure gold. Worst people are those who sabotage you everytime because they want you to tell them you'r goals otherwise they will be mad. Damn motivation thiefs, i feel it al the time.
In the esoteric world keeping a goal for yourself simply means holding "that energy" in you without letting it go outside. That's why you feel you can achieve better results than if you just told everybody about it. You just have more energy inside.
Growing up around people who are usually negative, or just don't have high hopes for me, I got accustomed to keeping my goals to myself. The more I tell people what I want to do, the more they try to drag me down. I guess I just got used to showing them what I achieved after I achieve it instead of telling them what I want to achieve. Works better for me personally and adds the element of surprise too :D
through my life I have always felt a greater fire within me if I kept my goals to myself. Its been exactly as you state...if I speak on my goals then its like I'm drowning that flame with buckets of water.
Totally agree. A friend told me this 6 years ago and nowadays I avoid it as much as I can, so much that people think that I don't have any goals and therefore, I lack interest in anything. Nowadays, people only know about my achievements when they're done, if possible. Yes, it feels good to tell people about what you want to achieve and do in life, as if you've already done it. But the shame when/if they asked about later it and being aware that it was something I failed feels so bad.... I don't want to be known as the girl who only talks and never achieves anything.
I agree with you: It can make people think that I lack interest. However, now that I look back, I think I was very extreme by hiding my goals, kinda paranoid. Now I am starting to tell my goals again but only to people that I trust and that I know that are able to help me somehow (with their intelligence or constructive critics to my project).
For me it's because once someone else knows about my goals or ambitions, I'd feel like I'll need to meet their expectations. But when I'm the only one. I can work on my own pace. "Be like a duck. Be calm and serene on the surface but paddle like hell underwater."
In my experience telling people your goals hardly ever really helps. I've always been successful when I keep my goals to myself and only unleash them once the goal is already achieved.
I've been preaching this concept for years. Don't tell people your plans for accomplishment. Like, I quit smoking easily without even having told everyone I know about it. There was no peer pressure that way and it was purely just me quitting smoking. When I was confident that I had completely quit, then I told everyone that I had quit.
A few months ago I told to a lot of people that I would find a job, and felt so good pronouncing those words... It's almost 2017 and I still need a job. '-'
Everytime I try to quit smoking I announce it to everyone, then start smoking again within a week. Also I've been looking for a job for well over a year, I feel for you dude. Life is shiiiiit :)
What black magic is this?! I only just randomly came across this video, found it spookily relevant to my current situation, and then noticed it was uploaded on my birthday.
I definitely agree with this. A few years ago, I told my friends that I was going to do this one thing (long term goal) and on the first day, I got some encouragements and compliments. But by the end of the week, that goal had completely left my mind, and oddly enough I felt satisfied though I'd made no progress. I didn't know the psychology behind it then, but I realized after a while that I did much better when I kept my goals to myself. I also really hated it when people complimented me. I didn't know why, thinking it was a little odd, as people are usually thrilled to get compliments, but now I figure it's because people tend to compliment me on unfinished goals, like (random example) "You're so good at Spanish!" when I've only been studying for a few months and can construct no more than basic phrases. Maybe that ties into the goal thing, or maybe not. In any case, I prefer secrecy when it comes to aspirations.
I have always believed something like this. Makes it hard when you have family members constantly asking you what your plans are, thought. -_- Though...Probably makes it worse when those people are negative individuals that always seem to be _trying_ to bring you down...
I feel constant regret of telling my goals and aspirations to people, and especially dealing with the intention behaviour gap, of actually doing things. Thanks it helped me a lot.
What if I did that already? Actually, for about week ago I told my closest ones about my vision make business.. and they really acepted my "big" idea, I heard really great comments from them (that was surprising, because I did't expect that) and now.. this week I haven't done anything.. like NOTHING. All this week I was sitting and watching UA-cam videos and haven't done anything! Actually, I'm glad, that I found this video, because now I know the real reason of my lazyness. And, yes, needless to say, that before I told everyone about my goals, every day, from morning to evening I was doing a lot of researches about prices, documentation, etc. I'm still little bit stuck in my lazy mood, but I think that get out will be so much easier when real reason is known. So, Thomas thank you for a video! :)
Also telling people your goal is likely to cause their doubt to rub off on you. I've found it's only helpful to tell the one person who both believes in you and wants to keep you accountable. And even then, you don't have to share every little detail.
Great concept. For me it worked big time when I realized that it's way better to tell people about what you have already done, than it is to tell them what you will do. Like any other person I have ideas/dreams/goals and I play them around in my head but I choose not to put them out there in public until I've actually gotten there. It's just like telling a joke, it's much funnier to say "there's this man who walks into a bar and orders a pizza" than it would be to say "there's this man who might sometime in the future enter a bar and then if we're lucky he might order a pizza". That's not very funny at all, and it doesn't add up much in an arguement either.
It shouldn't be this way, there's nothing wrong in telling your goals and then not reaching them, especially if your goals don't depend solely on your ambition. For example, I once wanted to be an airline pilot, that was my dream. The national airline carrier, TAP, told me I needed to finish my secondary studies to have a chance, and that's what I did. I finished secondary school as the best student! Then I even made a 300km to deliver my CV and motivation letter personally when I could have just sent a letter or mail but in the end they told me I needed to send my application by courier! That's what I did too, but in the end they didn't even gave me an answer: no no, no yes, no maybe, nothing! Some people are just like that, they enjoy destroying or denying someone else's goals/dreams. I mean, what was I supposed to do, enter the place, break everything and force them to offer me a job as an airline pilot? Beg them?! No way!! If I'm not an airline pilot for TAP that's because they didn't want me there back then! What this taught me is that some companies just aren't a good place to work in the first place, they'll probably just use some silly test to see your true motivation when the son's of the current workers get a job in the company without any problem, no test, and no formal application whatsoever, you just need to know the right people inside. Unfortunately that's the way some companies work.
Great video. I knew that fantasizing about what it would be like to achieve your goal was detrimental, but it makes sense that telling people is also detrimental. The advice about framing goals into small actionable steps is great since those are the things we least like doing, but are most important to achieve our goal.
My grandmother always said "Don't talk away your blessings" meaning stop telling "others" your goals and it's very true.We live in a very fast pace world so the first thing we do when we want to achieve something is seek approval by Announcing it on social media & watch your "followers" come and laugh, cry, & love your failed missions. 😂 😢 ❤
Thank you for confirming something i've instinctively known my whole life but never put it into words. I believe this also applies to visualise your success, as by imagining it you get the sense of accomplishment thus you're less likely to put real effort into it. As a day-dreamer, this has affected me all through my life and even now it's hard to combat.
robson, o negócio é simplesmente ouvir muito e tentar conversar com alguém o máximo possível :) Mas o mais importante é: não fique tentando falar com essa fluência DURANTE uma conversa. Simplesmente fale, fale fale, do jeito que conseguir, mesmo que seja cheio de sotaque e com certa dificuldade. A prática vai te fazendo perder medo até que se torna algo natural :) Espero que o meu comentário tenha servido de alguma coisa hahaha xD Grande abraço, continue na prática ;)
Ele e alguns outros youtubers disponibilizam legendas em inglês que ajudam muito a desenvolver o ouvido na minha opinião, sempre q vc perder algo lê na legenda, jaja vc ta entendendo tudo. Abraços. Edit: Não é a gerada automaticamente. É a legenda feita mesmo.
I ABSOLUTELY subscribe to this train of thought. I do find that if I go on social media and just announce whatever creative thing I'm working on before it's really gone anywhere, it tends to dissolve fairly quickly. If I keep it pent up inside me, let it simmer in my mind, not letting that excited OUT, I can use that to fuel finishing said project.
That's a solid, straight to the point piece of advice: write down your goals, resist talking about them (too much). Short, concise and effective, here's a thumb up!
Amazing video! Helpful as always! Btw, It reminded me by a quote of the prophet Mohammad "peace be upon him" when he said : استعينوا على قضاء حوائجكم بالكتمان , which means: "keeping your goals as a personal secret (not telling others) will help you in achieving them" ! It's amazing how he gave this wise advice in more than 1400 years ago!
Why you SHOULD talk about your goals - if you tell your goals to those who you have close interpersonal relationships with, it helps hold you accountable. The study you mentioned reinforced your viewpoint because it was conducted with people who the subjects had just met. There are definitely dissenting viewpoints on this matter.
I can't believe I just found this channel. Very well put together, thought out and articulated. I just uploaded a video where I DO write down my goals and in a way tell someone about them (you). I would argue, however, in my case this video's message does not apply. Thomas Frank argued that when you tell people your goal you fool your brain into thinking you actually took a step closer to your goal without doing so. Correct in most cases, but in mine I want to bring daily content to the platform for an entire year. Telling you about my goal is a direct step to fulfilling that goal. You, sir, have earned my sub and bell :)
Thanks! And I agree with you - this is a nuanced issue. As some people have brought up, there are certain people out there (like Connor McGregor) who can boast about their goals and then go and achieve them without a problem. However, we don't see all the aspects of McGregor's life - I'm certain he has people around him who keep him accountable to those goals (coaches, trainers, etc). For the rest of us, accountability is key. If we tell others about a goal in a way that creates true accountability, the effect is the opposite. We're more motivated to achieve it. My aim with this video was to discourage people from simply boasting about their goals to people who will only give them positive feedback and congratulations, instead of holding their feet to the fire and checking in later on.
Yes, Thomas, it is a nuanced issue. It is very hard to treat nuance with the respect it deserves, I struggle with it myself and I am very aware of it. It seems that the more you say things like "however" and "on the other hand" the less people want to pay attention. In the extreme you will continue to talk further and further from the original point. In that way, I understand why you conveyed this message the way you did. It has a focused thesis and wraps up nicely in the end (the hallmark of an experienced story teller).
I totally agree with the part, where he said "Your mind mistakes talking for doing." I think we, after reaching the milestone of laying out our goals, get so tempted to tell everyone about them ,and them appreciating us even before we do it makes us feel...fulfilled.
i also noticed that. Also it seems better to withhold information about progress that you are doing. As soon as I tell about my progress on something to the person I want to impress, I lose a chunk of my motivation, since potentially impressing that X was part of what motivated me.
i stay low-key till they notice me. Like if I run everyday, they call me out on it when they see that I ran everyday. That now is motivation, because I am in the process doing the action of running.
Why would I announce to them my goal? Most of them don't like to see me being successful and will try anything to bring me down. Hell no, I don't want that to happen.
Some of these comments are spot on. Telling people your goals can make people jealous and likely to hinder them. It can also make you look like a failure if you dont succeed. Besides it may sound bad, but keeping people clueless is fun. They assume they know so much when they have no idea. Another piece of advice: When you do start to achieve your goals be careful when you 'show and tell.' Your friends aren't always who they say they are and guaranteed people can be jealous. Be extra careful who you confide in, at any stage of your goals.
I totally agree with your point of view on this topic. I worked for a real estate office in the past that made you write down your weekly goals on a board right at the front of the office. Every day at 9 am, the manager would go over a loud speaker, yell out your name and then yell out your goal. While that may seem like a great way for you and others to hold you accountable, it also leads to extreme stress, lack of enthusiasm for those who do not meet their goals, negative comments from both the successful and the unsuccessful, and animosity within the office. It was a horrible experience, and one that only lasted THREE months for me and for most of the agents in the office. I am now with Coldwell Banker. We are encouraged to write down our goals and many of us choose an accountability partner to work with. Goals are a guideline rather than the single motivating factor. Not meeting a goal is not something that is publicly announced. Sharing when you accomplish your goal is completely up to you. What we do have are journals that are given to us at the beginning of the year for us to write down our goals, write down our experiences and write down our accomplishments. We are encouraged not to write down setbacks in that journal. Any negative comment goes into a completely separate journal (from a discount store) which we are encouraged to read at the end of the year and then discard. Interesting enough, most of the setbacks in the negative books are turned into positive experiences in the positive journal, and reading that positive journal on the first week of every new year is truly inspirational and puts you in a great mindset for the rest of the new year. It's a great business model and one that has repeatedly kept us a the top of the list of teams with the most productivity in our market. George L. Rosario, NYC's Hometown Realtor www.GeorgeRosario.com
One of my close friends is secretive about going to medical school. I never understood why (i guess she doesn't want to risk failure) she'll be pleased with this information Thank you for another great video!
I give you an example why this study isn't correct. There are people who don't behave like that like Connor McGregor. He was publicly announcing that in a couple of years he WILL be the champion. He was confident of achieving his goal. But what makes it work for Connor and why ist the execution in the study incorrect: Connor doesnt "want" to achieve his goal. He has to achieve it. Most people talk about goals, that they only "want" to achieve. Well i think the study only showed us that it doesnt matter if you talk about it or not. They wouldn't achieve their goals no matter if they were quiet about it. Because they never had that drive anyway.
Kind of like Muhammad Ali, he kept saying 'Im the greatest', that made him think he has to win. It developed a lot of pressure on him. His rep was a stake.
Oh man this video came at the perfect time. I have a goal regarding starting my own business in the next few years, but I keep it to myself and have only told my parents and boyfriend what it'll be. I feel like that way I'm more driven, and I'm not influenced by other opinions (or worried about someone stealing my idea) hahaha
I don't mind if people know that I want to start a business, thats pretty general and a lot of people 'want' to do that! Its the details of what it is and what I'm doing to get there that really matters. Thank you!
+DudeBronkster I definitely agree with you though! Before starting my channel I had briefly mentioned it to my immediate family and a couple of friends. I think if I had told everyone, I would have lost interest fairly quickly!
I agree. Telling people about your goals is venting an anxiety. What do you do when vent? You get rid of your anxiety. Therein once you get rid of anxiety, youve gotten rid of your goal.
Respect brother. I've had some great mentors in my life and never heard this before. I know that goal writing is important, but I always thought I was missing a piece of the puzzle by not sharing them with someone. Good info. I've tried sharing them with about 8 good friends and none of them have followed through. They are usually all about it at first and excited then start coming up with excuses as to why they can't continue meeting or forget about the accountability thing. What I am trying to say is that it's very rare and hard to find like minded and goal oriented people.... I guess that's why the 1% remains ths smaller part of our society. Otherwise, everyone would be rich.
I disagree honestly. If you are determined you will get what you want, but if you don't its not because you shared it. The work you put into it should not be affected by the fact you shared it. If you want something, go for it. Other people can judge you if you fail, but you failed trying . No because you shared your thoughts. Put all your energy to your goals, sharing it, for me atleast, is sending the universe a message of what I want... and ..honestly.. i think it helps me more than not sharing.
The struggle on this topic is REAL ya'll. I just did a video on the lowdown of sharing goals myself because it tends to be such a gray area. I do absolutely agree that sharing your goals recklessly can either open the door to needing validation, or allowing others to effect your process negatively, but that's why I feel it has more to do with WHEN, HOW, and with WHOM (who?) that makes the biggest difference.
I used to keep my goals quiet because some people tried to shit on my plans. Changed those "friends" for people who actually want to see me succeed, and haven't had to silence myself since!
Real talk. 100% agree. When I was younger and had a goal, I didn't really have anyone to talk about it to and didn't want to talk about it. I accomplished so much more then. After the big trend of announcing your goal publicly came around - I tried that and every time failed and it was definitely because of the motivation dropping to zero after announcing it. No matter whether you keep your goals to yourself or not - being aware of this is a huge advantage. Know that when you share it, you're going to feel less enthused. Recommit and go go go!
I fully agree and it's been a real eye opener. I would also like to add that the goal of running a marathon is usually to big for most people and they would give up. Breaking a goal down into smaller parts makes it much easier to achieve.
I think the main reason you should not announce you goals, is that there is a big chance others doubt your capability or pass their own personal judgements. That can make yourself doubt your own capability.
I don't think that's the main reason. I think that once you try to boost your identity and become socially affirmed you're just less likely to take action. (opinion though)
I think the more you talk about it, the less likely you are to do it. It's like when you have this brilliant idea and you talk about it because your subconscious knows you won't ever do it, so now you pass it on so you don't die with it.
+Christian Rivera That's just ego talk... exactly the reason why you should not be bragging about your goals.
It's all talk until it works !!
Karthik , it's all work until it works.
"If they don't know your dreams, they can't shoot them down"
-J. Cole
My sentiment exactly.
when I saw the title, I thought the video was going to be about that. Not the intention gap thing :)
k9dogtraining ewmddfgfdssdufhyggggucbiij
Donnella tilery my name is Donneal
Brian Ngugi wow u r definitely right
i always regret telling my 'friends' what i'm up to sometimes all they do is judge
That's life, it sucks. People are naturally competitive.
i'm too young to realised that, it's crazy how being supportive is very expensive these days :)
S Ciprian good luck on your goal man.
akadimas those aren't friends dumb was.
yeah i agree with you, even your closest friends can become envious and will try to hold you back on achieving your goals.. so its good to shut up sometimes.. :)
The funny thing about telling people your goals is that you find out how many people really don't give a shit.
Well, it's true... and those who do care, only care to hold you down.
Which is certainly another reason why motivation and performance drops significantly when telling random people about your aspirations.
@@jannikneuwirth2243 True... keeping things for yourself can also work with making good decisions and staying true to yourself. Because sometimes you just need to think about it and you realise you have to say no to it.. but when you already told people they are like 'Oh I thought you wanted to start with this and this' and they see it as a negative thing so it looks like you 'failed' but in fact you just said no what can also be a good thing. So it feels good to keep things for myself so I can make a good decision without people interfering.
😂😂😂
Or they copy you're goals
The reason you should not talk about your goals is because on a subconscious level you are inviting 'validation' from others. This means you have doubt. And doubt is fear. And this invalidates your power to create what you desire.
But on the other hand it shows people you're open and is like tip #1 developing relationships with people.
that's wisdom
Love it!
🔥
Yes!💯 I am a big believer of not sharing your goals on social media because you make it all about validation/likes etc. For example, going to the gym without posting it and learning to motivate yourself is the only key to success in the long run. I mean people know I go the gym but I always say I want to be stronger mentally when people ask about my goals 😉 but yeah.. I have other goals as well but I keep them for myself 🤐
some people will actually doubt your goals and give negative vibes. Just keep your mouth and show them the end product
SmirkyRayan, The whole point is to not tell people about your intentions, but sharing your accomplishments is ok. Once you've achieved a goal, you can tell your friends and family about it and celebrate it. I don't see it as depressing video, this is just a strategy.
that's very true. Imagine you set and announce to everyone a goal to lead a healthy lifestyle and be fit, while your friends are the opposite. What's gonna happen is that people are just going to get jealous because they can't/struggle to do this themselves and many of them will start demotivating you and creating circumstances to deter you from your goal as much as possible. This is not because they have bad purposeful intentions, but simply because there is an inner child inside everyone, which acts unconsciously
jan jansen couldn't of said it better
I know people are the worst sometimes just ignore them and keep going
Yessssss. Tell them years later over a beer. That u buy for them. Hahahahaha
I often see quotes saying stay quiet and let the success make the noise
+choppa k thats an awesome quote, really believe in that
nice
I'm stealing this.
To me, I don't tell people my goals because then, after some time, people will ask, "So you're still working on X?" or "Hey, have you actually achieve X?" Then it will demotivate me because it's like I'm wasting a lot of time but still have not achieve anything in life. I keep myself quiet and only tell people once I have achieved something. It's better to come out as a surprise to other people then to appear as a slacking failure in front of everyone.
I agree with you
Muhaimin Zulkarnain yeah, I feel that one. I've repeatedly told people to stop asking, because it fucks up my focus when I constantly have to 'update' people.
Muhaimin Zulkarnain I am working on a game and the same is happening to ne
Muhaimin Zulkarnain Great comment. This is how I do things now.
Muhaimin Zulkarnain, that's the same for me.
Law of power #4 - always say less than what is necessary.
Booya Aaron love this
@@_blank-_ read them on the book 40 laws of power
Yes
LAW 1: NEVER OUTSHINE THE MASTER
LAW 2: NEVER PUT TOO MUCH TRUST IN FRIENDS, LEARN HOW TO USE ENEMIES
LAW 3: CONCEAL YOUR INTENTIONS
LAW 4: ALWAYS SAY LESS THAN NECESSARY
LAW 5: SO MUCH DEPENDS ON REPUTATION-GUARD IT WITH YOUR LIFE
LAW 6: COURT ATTENTION AT ALL COST
LAW 7: GET OTHERS TO DO THE WORK FOR YOU, BUT ALWAYS TAKE THE CREDIT
LAW 8: MAKE OTHER PEOPLE COME TO YOU-USE BAIT IF NECESSARY
LAW 9: WIN THROUGH YOUR ACTIONS, NEVER THROUGH ARGUMENT
LAW 10: INFECTION: AVOID THE UNHAPPY AND UNLUCKY
LAW 11: LEARN TO KEEP PEOPLE DEPENDENT ON YOU
LAW 12: USE SELECTIVE HONESTY AND GENEROSITY TO DISARM YOUR VICTIM
LAW 13: WHEN ASKING FOR HELP, APPEAL TO PEOPLE’S SELF-INTEREST, NEVER TO THEIR MERCY OR GRATITUDE
LAW 14: POSE AS A FRIEND, WORK AS A SPY
LAW 15: CRUSH YOUR ENEMY TOTALLY
LAW 16: USE ABSENCE TO INCREASE RESPECT AND HONOUR
LAW 17: KEEP OTHERS IN SUSPENDED TERROR: CULTIVATE AN AIR OF UNPREDICTABILITY
LAW 18: DO NOT BUILD FORTRESSES TO PROTECT YOURSELF-ISOLATION IS DANGEROUS
LAW 19: KNOW WHO YOU’RE DEALING WITH-DO NOT OFFEND THE WRONG PERSON
LAW 20: DO NOT COMMIT TO ANYONE
LAW 21: PLAY A SUCKER TO CATCH A SUCKER-SEEM DUMBER THAN YOUR MARK
LAW 22: USE THE SURRENDER TACTIC: TRANSFORM WEAKNESS INTO POWER
LAW 23: CONCENTRATE YOUR FORCES
LAW 24: PLAY THE PERFECT COURTIER
LAW 25: RE-CREATE YOURSELF
LAW 26: KEEP YOUR HANDS CLEAN
LAW 27: PLAY ON PEOPLE’S NEED TO BELIEVE TO CREATE A CULT-LIKE FOLLOWING
LAW 28: ENTER ACTION WITH BOLDNESS
LAW 29: PLAN ALL THE WAY TO THE END
LAW 30: MAKE YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS SEEM EFFORTLESS
LAW 31: CONTROL THE OPTIONS: GET OTHERS TO PLAY WITH THE CARDS YOU DEAL
LAW 32: PLAY TO PEOPLE’S FANTASIES
LAW 33: DISCOVER EACH MAN’S THUMBSCREW
LAW 34: BE ROYAL IN YOUR OWN FASHION: ACT LIKE A KING TO BE TREATED LIKE ONE
LAW 35: MASTER THE ART OF TIMING
LAW 36: DISDAIN THINGS YOU CANNOT HAVE: IGNORING THEM IS THE BEST REVENGE
LAW 37: CREATE COMPELLING SPECTACLES
LAW 38: THINK AS YOU LIKE BUT BEHAVE LIKE OTHERS
LAW 39: STIR UP WATERS TO CATCH FISH
LAW 40: DESPISE THE FREE LUNCH
LAW 41: AVOID STEPPING INTO A GREAT MAN’S SHOES
LAW 42: STRIKE THE SHEPHERD AND THE SHEEP WILL SCATTER
LAW 43: WORK ON THE HEARTS AND MINDS OF OTHERS
LAW 44: DISARM AND INFURIATE WITH THE MIRROR EFFECT
LAW 45: PREACH THE NEED FOR CHANGE, BUT NEVER REFORM TOO MUCH AT ONCE
LAW 46: NEVER APPEAR TOO PERFECT
LAW 47: DO NOT GO PAST THE MARK YOU AIMED FOR; IN VICTORY, LEARN WHEN TO STOP
LAW 48: ASSUME FORMLESSNESS
@@olivermerivee8653 legend!! 🤩
I usually don't tell everyone the full details of my goals. People ask me what I'm majoring in or post college plans, and I say stuff like "Oh, probably something in the fine arts or business or something..." because of the previous negative responses I have gotten before. So I'm keeping all my goals to myself.
Maryam - Master of Movement Been there too
@I'm here It's great to move in silence.
i was once asked what i was going to do in college in the next year by a substitute college english teacher. i said i was going to music University in bristol. He said no you wont, they wont except someone who's slow at learning like yourself. i then explained i'd already been and auditioned only to get recommened by the university and the descision was pending. He still looked sternly and said something like they'll never accept you, you'll do another year here first before they even consider someone like you. flash foward and im now already on my second year of University and they did except me that year. So dont let anyones negative or 'realistic' opinions/predictions from others make you loose balance. keep fighting for what you want. just because someone is a teacher or older doesnt mean that what they speak is right. Also great video man!
way to go man!! :)
wow that teacher was a dick
*accept
the decision was not up to you but the university. you already did the work unlike most ppl who say they want to do something before doing anything.
Good for you! I'm glad you're getting to do what you want. 😀
I really need to shut my mouth honestly
nemos422s me too :/
This comment made my day!
Same. I feel bad lol.
i accidentally told my friend my goals and i regret it.
nemos422s me too
You're right, i should take over the world in silence
Christian Ewing you ruined it
Austin Hernández shhhh:)
😂 ^
(then again, you just stated your goal 😜)
Christian Ewing lmao exactly!
just what I was gonna say.
The only time I lost weight was when I started exercising alone without telling anyone. I used to tell people all the time and end up discouraged or unenthusiastic. You wanna do something, do it without announcing it.
yes master!🔥
Same for me I lost a lot of weight I never told anyone they people said I was on a diet I never said that and just said it was a lifestyle change
Same for me I lost a lot of weight I never told anyone they people said I was on a diet I never said that and just said it was a lifestyle change
I've always been told that the less you reveal about yourself to other people, then the more power you have.
Mainly because you have the element of surprise, if/when someone realises that you have a skill or talent in something.
Which is obviously waaay better than if they watched you do the same thing over and over again and didn't know how to do it themselves, because that's just boring for anyone.
I've learned this the hard way by showing people unfinished projects and then wondering why the impact of my work isn't as effective once it is finished... because people already know what the hell it's going to be.
I appreciate this one
I like your explanation. And I agree with it.
Now the real question is: Can I use this to my advantage?
BRB, telling all my friends that my goal is to constantly eat pizza and procrastinate on all my work
that's clever lol, thanks for the great video!
Lol it's an advantage to me aswell
I think that's like saying my goal is to be 6feet tall (my height) it's already achieved and it didn't require me to do anything! :b
Oops, this is kinda long, feel free to respond to just a part of it:
Hey, Tom. I remember hearing this from my communication professor. He did site who he got it from, I wonder if it's the same guy you sited.. I'm too lazy to grab my notes, but he also mentioned that your friends giving you crap for not doing what you promised could discourage you. I wonder if this feature (or phenomenon) is common among all people or a certain majority. I mean, I see a good amount of people who bank their success on the image of their accomplishments or greatness. I mean, more opportunities may arise for those who can speak about their goals (possibly because by conveying goals, they'd be seen as more motivated and competent) and some may be more motivated to accomplish goals if it were to maintain their bolstered image of success. I guess I'm wondering if humility or pride leads to greatness.
Change of topic:
I recently took a Myers-Briggs personality test online. I'm equally intrigued and bothered by my results (INTP T). Do you happen to have a video regarding personality tests? Specifically, of it's benefits and detriments? I would think the detriments include being prone to confirmation bias (regarding traits) and creation of mental boundaries (within the "predictions"). The benefits would be understanding career goals and interpersonal roles, strength and weaknesses.
+Thomas Frank Please fix the audio quality. Painful to listen!
I'm going to be a Pokemon master! *Twenty years later, still using Pikachu*
XD
+Sloth7d lol
+Sloth7d And still 10 years old. Don't forget that.
+Sloth7d de-evolves to pichu lmao
+Sloth7d fyi pikachu is the best pokemon so get rekt 360 no scoped
I thoroughly expected some comment like: "just like you feel better for watching this video, without getting any closer to your goal right now."
:)
finally someone acknowledging this :D
Makes sense. I also think that people will discourage you. Either on purpose or unintentionally by saying something like, "man! I wish I had your skills and motivation. That's great!!! I could never do something as hard as that!!" (Planting tiny seeds of doubt in your mind.)
Now I understand I'm the one stopping myself from achieving my goals😣
I've learned to keep my goals to myself after experiencing tremendous competition and envy from friends who say "that's wonderful" and then copy what I plan to create.
Yep shoplift your identity, the parts to create the attraction you acquire...is sad to watch adults still have identity issues
This video is spot-on. How many people get so much gratification from announcing their goals that they act like they already achieved them and therefore do nothing?
Ask Polymath Geddy me, it's so true
me in a nutshell indeed lol
So true! I've been there a 1000 times
Been there mate!! Trying to get rid of it🥴
Politicians are so screwed by this.
Lol. Nice one.
Rofl!! nice catch😂
"I'm gonna build a wall. the greatest wall you've ever seen. And who's gonna pay for it? Mexico!"
The Wall! To stop the white walkers for coming trough
Oh yeah!! :)
But do they ever share their true goals?
''It's not who i am underneath but what i do that defines me''
~ Batman.
***** Yeh i read all of that...and so have other people ....Honest.
***** Yeh people did that too...Sure.
+Gavin Mai you had to didnt you lol
This is true..I've tried it.. It's like when you keep your goals unannounced..It builds a pressure which fuels.. That's what happened for me.. Cheers Tom..
Ikr I experienced it but just for 2 days then I couldn't control spitting it out and it ended a failure:(
I regret telling people my goals. They suddenly want to do the same thing I do based off of the fact that I'm doing it. And then they act entitled as if its their own thing. Then I seem petty or like the hater if I don't act happy about it. I'm not selfish but the type of people I deal with are.
Hifi
Yes
Right like why wait to I try to do something for you to do it 🤷🏽♀️
Exactly I hate how people that don't like me always wanna steal my ideas
not only write down your goals, but also try to go over them twice or three times a day, and take a few minutes to think about them. Overtime, this should help to keep your brain on track, and work to achieve them.
Source: personal experience.
Exactly why I just keep quiet, do my own thang, in my own little world. If people don't know, they don't care, they can't judge, they can't opinion or anything.
Some additional thoughts and responses to questions I've been getting!
- "Does this mean you should always be secretive about your goals, and refuse to ever tell anyone even if they ask about them?"
My friend Martin had a great response to this: "If people ask me, I just try to remain humble about the goal instead of painting it as this big, grand thing." I think the way you frame the goal is very important. You don't have to make a big point of being secret about your goals; just be humble about them if asked.
- "Doesn't this conflict with your Impossible List?"
This was an immediate thought of mine when I was reading the research. While my Impossible List is a way of announcing my goals in public, I do think it's a bit different. The biggest difference is that I'm not having an in-person interaction with someone where I tell them my goal and get a positive response. Instead, I'm taking the list of goals I've written down for myself and simply making it public.
Because the entire point of the Impossible List is to constantly be crossing things off the list and iterating by adding more difficult/ambitious subgoals, I found it motivating to make the list public. I feel accountable to my audience by doing it. There are several goals on the list that are crossed off *because* I knew they were public, and I was incredibly excited to finally cross them off. To me, the Impossible List is less an announcement of the things I *will* do, and more a record of the things I *have* done and a commitment to do more.
One improvement I've wanted to make to the Impossible List concept for a while would be a specific page for each goal that lists out the steps I need to take along with time frame commitments. This is something my friend Matt is doing with his project Money Lab right now; he publicly commits to a challenge, and then updates that challenge's blog post daily with his progress/victories/setbacks. I think I should probably take this approach with my next big project.
That being said, perhaps a private goal list would be more effective than a public one! I'm honestly not sure; it'd be cool to see research done on it. The research in this video specifically looked at the announcement of goals in-person, to people in the same room.
For now, my chosen strategy will be to keep my goals on my Impossible List, to keep quiet/humble about them in my in-person interactions, and to seek out accountability partners who I trust to hold my feet to the fire.
I'd be interested to hear your thoughts :)
Well said
So do parents count?
The idea of remaining humble instead of painting the goal as a "big, grand thing" resonnated well with me, and I'll definitely use it.
Thank you for providing these extra answers, Thomas! :)
You shouldn´t tell your parents ESPECIALLY.
Can I tell my goal to my mastermind group? There are only 2 people in it.
I've had to learn this too, I would tell ppl my goals and they would shoot it down. So I had to learn to do it not say it
Ashley, I can relate. Not saying anything is way better then having someone piss on your goals. We should both have the goal of finding more supportive people in our lives, but don't tell anyone this, just do it!
Steve Sperry lol true
ashley hawkins The only people that know my huge goals are my family. They strongly motivate and encourage me(especially my mom).
"J cole"
I'm telling no one
So I take it Luffy won't become king of the pirates? :-(
MagicalFishy HAHAHA I'M DEAD
Loooooool
And Ash will never be a Pokemon master, then again Naruto became Hokage.
Andre Carter exactly, anime has taught us that you should tell the whole world your goal and scream it out at the top of your lungs whenever that chance to arises. But this is reality and most people aren't as motivated as fictional characters lol
U idiot he is hella committed
The level of knowledge i acquired since i subscribed to you is astonishing. You are a motivation person, not only do you teach us how to study, but you show us how to focus on it, to set goals. I am taking my imaginary hat of my head, and thanking you.
best profile pic dude^^
my dad always told me to write down my goals in a notebook before I went to sleep and I did and now I'm doing exactly what I wrote in it
That's great. I think it's worth giving a shot. I'll try it
+Vivek Kaushal congrats dude, thats awesome
Vivek Kaushal what a great advice
what a great dad ^^
@@KhavandMaharaj
shhhh don't say it loud!! 😂
Congratulations 🎊
I don't ever tell people my goals simply for the fact that when I do, it jinxes them.
you should never tell anyone about your goals because you will get caught monologuing.
keep your evil plans super secret guys.
yo :^)
What sucks is everytime i get super pumped about something and have clarity, goals, ready to conquer and take all sorts of risks; i would tell close ones what i want to do and even though they show 'passive' excitement, i would go back on my computer and feel this heavy feeling as if i just deflated all my energy out, as if what got me pump like helium got leaked out and now I'm back to ground zero. This is why i decided to never tell a soul anything i do or want to do, and let achievements speak for themselves. it feels like a false feeling of achievement...
holy shit no wonder I'm a failure I'm always announcing my goals.
Everyone asks me what the fuck am I doing or what I have planned. So I tell them they say "how long you been doing it" I say about a week and then I drop it. But then they steal my idea and quietly do what I said I would do.
+Ramiro Leiva Just do the things you do and your actions will announce themselves.
Yep it does lol
Oh no should have never said it
U FUCKIN FAILURE!
What if my goal is to tell everyone my goal?
Then you just did.
you wanted to make a joke, but that's actually the point of this research, imo. Our mind associates actually accomplishing the goal with the moment we tell our friends we accomplished the goal, and thus telling them earlier than we should confuses it by giving us much of the satisfaction it expects from the accomplishment.
So, in a way, our mind does indeed believe that our goal is telling everyone our goal.
tlh1981 well you just accomplished it. Move on.
+Vision logic :)
tlh1981 classic conditioning Fraued
You are talking pure gold. Worst people are those who sabotage you everytime because they want you to tell them you'r goals otherwise they will be mad. Damn motivation thiefs, i feel it al the time.
In the esoteric world keeping a goal for yourself simply means holding "that energy" in you without letting it go outside. That's why you feel you can achieve better results than if you just told everybody about it. You just have more energy inside.
I like this bruh.
i agree but things can still work if you do. there is more than one way to skin a pig
@@davidlopez-rl4sh you think -so bro? im scared, i told my family my dreams of being a poker player but they dont belive in me
So true. I can't add much to this. Keep your goals private. Let your work speak for itself.
Growing up around people who are usually negative, or just don't have high hopes for me, I got accustomed to keeping my goals to myself. The more I tell people what I want to do, the more they try to drag me down. I guess I just got used to showing them what I achieved after I achieve it instead of telling them what I want to achieve. Works better for me personally and adds the element of surprise too :D
through my life I have always felt a greater fire within me if I kept my goals to myself. Its been exactly as you state...if I speak on my goals then its like I'm drowning that flame with buckets of water.
Vegan Beef And plus they will be disappointed if you decide to abandon a particular goal.
Loved your comment:-)
Totally agree. A friend told me this 6 years ago and nowadays I avoid it as much as I can, so much that people think that I don't have any goals and therefore, I lack interest in anything. Nowadays, people only know about my achievements when they're done, if possible.
Yes, it feels good to tell people about what you want to achieve and do in life, as if you've already done it. But the shame when/if they asked about later it and being aware that it was something I failed feels so bad.... I don't want to be known as the girl who only talks and never achieves anything.
I also wouldn't want to be known as the girl who only talks, but doesn't achieve...
Maybe cause I'm a dude.
I agree with you: It can make people think that I lack interest.
However, now that I look back, I think I was very extreme by hiding my goals, kinda paranoid. Now I am starting to tell my goals again but only to people that I trust and that I know that are able to help me somehow (with their intelligence or constructive critics to my project).
For me it's because once someone else knows about my goals or ambitions, I'd feel like I'll need to meet their expectations.
But when I'm the only one. I can work on my own pace.
"Be like a duck. Be calm and serene on the surface but paddle like hell underwater."
In my experience telling people your goals hardly ever really helps. I've always been successful when I keep my goals to myself and only unleash them once the goal is already achieved.
I've been preaching this concept for years. Don't tell people your plans for accomplishment. Like, I quit smoking easily without even having told everyone I know about it. There was no peer pressure that way and it was purely just me quitting smoking. When I was confident that I had completely quit, then I told everyone that I had quit.
A few months ago I told to a lot of people that I would find a job, and felt so good pronouncing those words...
It's almost 2017 and I still need a job. '-'
Everytime I try to quit smoking I announce it to everyone, then start smoking again within a week. Also I've been looking for a job for well over a year, I feel for you dude. Life is shiiiiit :)
Jønathan Silva lol
Jønathan Silva Funny same for me...
:'(:'(:'(
What black magic is this?! I only just randomly came across this video, found it spookily relevant to my current situation, and then noticed it was uploaded on my birthday.
"The more you talk about it, the less you do about it."
wrong
very true
Yikes
Yeah don't tell people your goals go and do it, half the time some people don't want to see you win in life anyways.
I definitely agree with this. A few years ago, I told my friends that I was going to do this one thing (long term goal) and on the first day, I got some encouragements and compliments. But by the end of the week, that goal had completely left my mind, and oddly enough I felt satisfied though I'd made no progress. I didn't know the psychology behind it then, but I realized after a while that I did much better when I kept my goals to myself. I also really hated it when people complimented me. I didn't know why, thinking it was a little odd, as people are usually thrilled to get compliments, but now I figure it's because people tend to compliment me on unfinished goals, like (random example) "You're so good at Spanish!" when I've only been studying for a few months and can construct no more than basic phrases. Maybe that ties into the goal thing, or maybe not. In any case, I prefer secrecy when it comes to aspirations.
Talking w my own experience, this man is right.
I think the fact that Naruto became hokage completely disproves this video.
lmao u right
Cache-Money-Sectors hahahahah cant stop laughing on this 😂
I don't "believe it"
w8 to see what hapens with luffy tho
If he just hadn't said that, he would be Hokage way sooner. Maby replacing that bizzare multiple-sharingan man :)
Usually people will try to sabotage you from accomplishing your goal
Yes , indeed.
I have a fortune cookie fortune taped under my monitor that reads “ Well done is better than well said.”
The problem is not telling people, but who you tell.
I agree. Real friends want to see you win
Nah most people in general are going to put doubt in you it best to tell them after you accomplish it
@@alien-hs1zn agree
I have always believed something like this. Makes it hard when you have family members constantly asking you what your plans are, thought. -_-
Though...Probably makes it worse when those people are negative individuals that always seem to be _trying_ to bring you down...
And then there's the very real possibility that you have enemies who would love to sabotage those goals in any case...
in in some parts of the world it could attract "evil eye" :D
Amy Thanina, that's what I learned the evil eye means. I was advised to keep my plans to myself if I wanted things to go well.
i told my friend my goals and now she's trying to steal my life lol
How?
Omg same 😭
I feel constant regret of telling my goals and aspirations to people, and especially dealing with the intention behaviour gap, of actually doing things. Thanks it helped me a lot.
What if I did that already?
Actually, for about week ago I told my closest ones about my vision make business.. and they really acepted my "big" idea, I heard really great comments from them (that was surprising, because I did't expect that) and now.. this week I haven't done anything.. like NOTHING. All this week I was sitting and watching UA-cam videos and haven't done anything! Actually, I'm glad, that I found this video, because now I know the real reason of my lazyness.
And, yes, needless to say, that before I told everyone about my goals, every day, from morning to evening I was doing a lot of researches about prices, documentation, etc.
I'm still little bit stuck in my lazy mood, but I think that get out will be so much easier when real reason is known.
So, Thomas thank you for a video! :)
This makes complete sense. Im glad I cut the people closest to me out of my goals. All they do is judge or put you down.
Also telling people your goal is likely to cause their doubt to rub off on you.
I've found it's only helpful to tell the one person who both believes in you and wants to keep you accountable.
And even then, you don't have to share every little detail.
So true,... Until at least u achieve it. Envy is real. We have a saying: " keep your candle a way to light". No shame after success to brag.
Don't tell others your goals because they will work extra hard to make them not happen.
Great concept. For me it worked big time when I realized that it's way better to tell people about what you have already done, than it is to tell them what you will do. Like any other person I have ideas/dreams/goals and I play them around in my head but I choose not to put them out there in public until I've actually gotten there. It's just like telling a joke, it's much funnier to say "there's this man who walks into a bar and orders a pizza" than it would be to say "there's this man who might sometime in the future enter a bar and then if we're lucky he might order a pizza". That's not very funny at all, and it doesn't add up much in an arguement either.
Absolutely right - that's the way to go.
It shouldn't be this way, there's nothing wrong in telling your goals and then not reaching them, especially if your goals don't depend solely on your ambition.
For example, I once wanted to be an airline pilot, that was my dream.
The national airline carrier, TAP, told me I needed to finish my secondary studies to have a chance, and that's what I did. I finished secondary school as the best student!
Then I even made a 300km to deliver my CV and motivation letter personally when I could have just sent a letter or mail but in the end they told me I needed to send my application by courier!
That's what I did too, but in the end they didn't even gave me an answer: no no, no yes, no maybe, nothing!
Some people are just like that, they enjoy destroying or denying someone else's goals/dreams.
I mean, what was I supposed to do, enter the place, break everything and force them to offer me a job as an airline pilot? Beg them?! No way!!
If I'm not an airline pilot for TAP that's because they didn't want me there back then!
What this taught me is that some companies just aren't a good place to work in the first place, they'll probably just use some silly test to see your true motivation when the son's of the current workers get a job in the company without any problem, no test, and no formal application whatsoever, you just need to know the right people inside.
Unfortunately that's the way some companies work.
Great video. I knew that fantasizing about what it would be like to achieve your goal was detrimental, but it makes sense that telling people is also detrimental. The advice about framing goals into small actionable steps is great since those are the things we least like doing, but are most important to achieve our goal.
My grandmother always said "Don't talk away your blessings" meaning stop telling "others" your goals and it's very true.We live in a very fast pace world so the first thing we do when we want to achieve something is seek approval by Announcing it on social media & watch your "followers" come and laugh, cry, & love your failed missions. 😂 😢 ❤
Thank you for confirming something i've instinctively known my whole life but never put it into words. I believe this also applies to visualise your success, as by imagining it you get the sense of accomplishment thus you're less likely to put real effort into it. As a day-dreamer, this has affected me all through my life and even now it's hard to combat.
Luna Sedai you won’t get many nods from the many people without the lucid imaginations, like the kind you describe.
I honestly agree with this so much.
If your acutely want to meet your goal it shouldn't matter who you tell you'll work hard either way
yeah, it shouldn't. but it does.
Flowered Sentiments yea
my Goal is understand 100% what you are saying, i am Brazilian!
ele fala muito rápido kkkkkk
Yane Fatima sim, na verdade eu entendo o que ele fala, o meu Goal mesmo é reproduzir é falar um inglês de maneira semelhante a dele;)
robson, o negócio é simplesmente ouvir muito e tentar conversar com alguém o máximo possível :)
Mas o mais importante é: não fique tentando falar com essa fluência DURANTE uma conversa. Simplesmente fale, fale fale, do jeito que conseguir, mesmo que seja cheio de sotaque e com certa dificuldade. A prática vai te fazendo perder medo até que se torna algo natural :)
Espero que o meu comentário tenha servido de alguma coisa hahaha xD Grande abraço, continue na prática ;)
Ele e alguns outros youtubers disponibilizam legendas em inglês que ajudam muito a desenvolver o ouvido na minha opinião, sempre q vc perder algo lê na legenda, jaja vc ta entendendo tudo. Abraços.
Edit: Não é a gerada automaticamente. É a legenda feita mesmo.
Lucas Molin Valeu Lucas, na verdade eu estudo mesmo é pelo site ororo.tv, eu meio que cai de para quedas nesse vídeo.
I ABSOLUTELY subscribe to this train of thought. I do find that if I go on social media and just announce whatever creative thing I'm working on before it's really gone anywhere, it tends to dissolve fairly quickly. If I keep it pent up inside me, let it simmer in my mind, not letting that excited OUT, I can use that to fuel finishing said project.
That's a solid, straight to the point piece of advice: write down your goals, resist talking about them (too much). Short, concise and effective, here's a thumb up!
Amazing video! Helpful as always! Btw, It reminded me by a quote of the prophet Mohammad "peace be upon him" when he said : استعينوا على قضاء حوائجكم بالكتمان , which means: "keeping your goals as a personal secret (not telling others) will help you in achieving them" ! It's amazing how he gave this wise advice in more than 1400 years ago!
true ☺️
that's amazing!
Yeah, that quote came right into my mind as soon as I saw the video title... pretty amazing.
Why you SHOULD talk about your goals - if you tell your goals to those who you have close interpersonal relationships with, it helps hold you accountable. The study you mentioned reinforced your viewpoint because it was conducted with people who the subjects had just met. There are definitely dissenting viewpoints on this matter.
In my personal experience this isn't reality.
I can't believe I just found this channel. Very well put together, thought out and articulated.
I just uploaded a video where I DO write down my goals and in a way tell someone about them (you).
I would argue, however, in my case this video's message does not apply. Thomas Frank argued that when you tell people your goal you fool your brain into thinking you actually took a step closer to your goal without doing so. Correct in most cases, but in mine I want to bring daily content to the platform for an entire year. Telling you about my goal is a direct step to fulfilling that goal.
You, sir, have earned my sub and bell :)
Thanks!
And I agree with you - this is a nuanced issue. As some people have brought up, there are certain people out there (like Connor McGregor) who can boast about their goals and then go and achieve them without a problem. However, we don't see all the aspects of McGregor's life - I'm certain he has people around him who keep him accountable to those goals (coaches, trainers, etc).
For the rest of us, accountability is key. If we tell others about a goal in a way that creates true accountability, the effect is the opposite. We're more motivated to achieve it. My aim with this video was to discourage people from simply boasting about their goals to people who will only give them positive feedback and congratulations, instead of holding their feet to the fire and checking in later on.
Yes, Thomas, it is a nuanced issue. It is very hard to treat nuance with the respect it deserves, I struggle with it myself and I am very aware of it. It seems that the more you say things like "however" and "on the other hand" the less people want to pay attention. In the extreme you will continue to talk further and further from the original point.
In that way, I understand why you conveyed this message the way you did. It has a focused thesis and wraps up nicely in the end (the hallmark of an experienced story teller).
I too am interested in seeing your sources for your video if you don't mind.
I totally agree with the part, where he said "Your mind mistakes talking for doing." I think we, after reaching the milestone of laying out our goals, get so tempted to tell everyone about them ,and them appreciating us even before we do it makes us feel...fulfilled.
THIS HAS SO MUCH SENSE THAN "don't talk about your goals because ppl are going to give negative vibes"
i also noticed that. Also it seems better to withhold information about progress that you are doing. As soon as I tell about my progress on something to the person I want to impress, I lose a chunk of my motivation, since potentially impressing that X was part of what motivated me.
i stay low-key till they notice me.
Like if I run everyday, they call me out on it when they see that I ran everyday.
That now is motivation, because I am in the process doing the action of running.
Why would I announce to them my goal? Most of them don't like to see me being successful and will try anything to bring me down. Hell no, I don't want that to happen.
Some of these comments are spot on. Telling people your goals can make people jealous and likely to hinder them. It can also make you look like a failure if you dont succeed. Besides it may sound bad, but keeping people clueless is fun. They assume they know so much when they have no idea. Another piece of advice: When you do start to achieve your goals be careful when you 'show and tell.' Your friends aren't always who they say they are and guaranteed people can be jealous. Be extra careful who you confide in, at any stage of your goals.
I totally agree with your point of view on this topic. I worked for a real estate office in the past that made you write down your weekly goals on a board right at the front of the office. Every day at 9 am, the manager would go over a loud speaker, yell out your name and then yell out your goal. While that may seem like a great way for you and others to hold you accountable, it also leads to extreme stress, lack of enthusiasm for those who do not meet their goals, negative comments from both the successful and the unsuccessful, and animosity within the office. It was a horrible experience, and one that only lasted THREE months for me and for most of the agents in the office. I am now with Coldwell Banker. We are encouraged to write down our goals and many of us choose an accountability partner to work with. Goals are a guideline rather than the single motivating factor. Not meeting a goal is not something that is publicly announced. Sharing when you accomplish your goal is completely up to you. What we do have are journals that are given to us at the beginning of the year for us to write down our goals, write down our experiences and write down our accomplishments. We are encouraged not to write down setbacks in that journal. Any negative comment goes into a completely separate journal (from a discount store) which we are encouraged to read at the end of the year and then discard. Interesting enough, most of the setbacks in the negative books are turned into positive experiences in the positive journal, and reading that positive journal on the first week of every new year is truly inspirational and puts you in a great mindset for the rest of the new year. It's a great business model and one that has repeatedly kept us a the top of the list of teams with the most productivity in our market.
George L. Rosario, NYC's Hometown Realtor www.GeorgeRosario.com
One of my close friends is secretive about going to medical school. I never understood why (i guess she doesn't want to risk failure) she'll be pleased with this information
Thank you for another great video!
I give you an example why this study isn't correct.
There are people who don't behave like that like Connor McGregor. He was publicly announcing that in a couple of years he WILL be the champion. He was confident of achieving his goal. But what makes it work for Connor and why ist the execution in the study incorrect: Connor doesnt "want" to achieve his goal. He has to achieve it. Most people talk about goals, that they only "want" to achieve. Well i think the study only showed us that it doesnt matter if you talk about it or not. They wouldn't achieve their goals no matter if they were quiet about it. Because they never had that drive anyway.
+ReaperPlayzLeague You make a point I will say.
+ReaperPlayzLeague Not every single human being will have the exact same reaction. Doesn't change the validity of the study.
reachforhaloce The interpretation of the result of the study is wrong.
Kind of like Muhammad Ali, he kept saying 'Im the greatest', that made him think he has to win. It developed a lot of pressure on him. His rep was a stake.
at stake*
Oh man this video came at the perfect time. I have a goal regarding starting my own business in the next few years, but I keep it to myself and have only told my parents and boyfriend what it'll be. I feel like that way I'm more driven, and I'm not influenced by other opinions (or worried about someone stealing my idea) hahaha
+Azaria Bell
Well, you just told the general (UA-cam-) public aswell. :-v Don't let that lead you on the wrong path!
I don't mind if people know that I want to start a business, thats pretty general and a lot of people 'want' to do that! Its the details of what it is and what I'm doing to get there that really matters. Thank you!
+DudeBronkster I definitely agree with you though! Before starting my channel I had briefly mentioned it to my immediate family and a couple of friends. I think if I had told everyone, I would have lost interest fairly quickly!
Good luck :)
I agree. Telling people about your goals is venting an anxiety. What do you do when vent? You get rid of your anxiety. Therein once you get rid of anxiety, youve gotten rid of your goal.
Respect brother. I've had some great mentors in my life and never heard this before. I know that goal writing is important, but I always thought I was missing a piece of the puzzle by not sharing them with someone. Good info. I've tried sharing them with about 8 good friends and none of them have followed through. They are usually all about it at first and excited then start coming up with excuses as to why they can't continue meeting or forget about the accountability thing. What I am trying to say is that it's very rare and hard to find like minded and goal oriented people.... I guess that's why the 1% remains ths smaller part of our society. Otherwise, everyone would be rich.
I disagree honestly. If you are determined you will get what you want, but if you don't its not because you shared it. The work you put into it should not be affected by the fact you shared it. If you want something, go for it. Other people can judge you if you fail, but you failed trying . No because you shared your thoughts. Put all your energy to your goals, sharing it, for me atleast, is sending the universe a message of what I want... and ..honestly.. i think it helps me more than not sharing.
What's more rewarding : tell everyone you're going to learn to play the guitar, or just whip it out one day and play the hell out of it?
The struggle on this topic is REAL ya'll. I just did a video on the lowdown of sharing goals myself because it tends to be such a gray area. I do absolutely agree that sharing your goals recklessly can either open the door to needing validation, or allowing others to effect your process negatively, but that's why I feel it has more to do with WHEN, HOW, and with WHOM (who?) that makes the biggest difference.
I used to keep my goals quiet because some people tried to shit on my plans. Changed those "friends" for people who actually want to see me succeed, and haven't had to silence myself since!
Real talk. 100% agree.
When I was younger and had a goal, I didn't really have anyone to talk about it to and didn't want to talk about it. I accomplished so much more then. After the big trend of announcing your goal publicly came around - I tried that and every time failed and it was definitely because of the motivation dropping to zero after announcing it. No matter whether you keep your goals to yourself or not - being aware of this is a huge advantage. Know that when you share it, you're going to feel less enthused. Recommit and go go go!
Heard about this before and have since tried to keep my mouth shut about sharing my goals in case I fall victim to this phenomena.
A roaring lion kills no game!!!! "African proverb"
Woah
There is a very old story that goes like this: "I'm writing a novel!" - "Neither am I......."
I fully agree and it's been a real eye opener. I would also like to add that the goal of running a marathon is usually to big for most people and they would give up. Breaking a goal down into smaller parts makes it much easier to achieve.
I always keep my mouth shut and remind myself that I should "work hard in silence and let your sucess be the noise"