You Can't Change People (Even Those You Love) - Nouman Ali Khan
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- Опубліковано 8 бер 2023
- In this Urdu Q&A video from Pakistan, Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan shares an important reminder:
The guidance of others, even those we love dearly, will not come as a result of our own efforts. Allah has not made us responsible for the actions of others.
The story of the Prophet ﷺ himself contains an eye-opening example of this, which I share with our sister in this clip.
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I can feel the pain in her eyes and voice. Allah please help her, help us all, guide us and our families. Ameen
Yes. She’s very hurt. May Allah help this sister. I’m almost in tears seeing her how hurt she looks and sound. Ya Allah. Please help this sister with whatever problem she is going through and give her patience
aameen
Exactly.... i felt the same for her. May Allah ease her pain and ours too, may Allah guide us all.... ameen.
Ameen
@@AllahsServant12 Ameen - what a beautiful du’a.
The deep sighs she takes shows the amount of pain she has suffered and effort this sister has put in, May Allah ﷻ accept all her good deeds and guide us all to the right path.
SAWW
@@shizanaeem3314
I invite everyone to listen holy Quran & Islamic speech from the India🇮🇳❤😊😊
Aameen
It reminded me Prophet Nuh A.s's conversation with his son when Nuh A.S asked his son to get in Ark and he denied but father's love for son made him stil do dua from Allah pak ....
A msg to this sister" the pain in your eyes shows your effort for your love one.
May Allah make them steadfast. Ameen.
But you have done your job Allah pak clearley mentioned in Quran " Woh jisy chahy hidayat deta hy Aur jisko hidayat de de Ussey koi Gumrah ni kr sakta"
You can see the pain in her eyes. She was on the verge of tears. Hope she find the peace and happiness she's looking for.
aameen summa aameen
This hurts deeply. Because I am from a born Muslim family, and none of my family ever taught me about Islam even the bascis like iman, taqwa, importance of salah, purpose of life etc. I had to learn it myself, and I kept searching the find the answers to my questions. Anyways, when I talk or want to give knowledge to my family, they don't want to hear it. I kept trying to change my family but it doesn't work that way. I'm glad this video came upon my feed, and I watched it. As much as it hurts, it's the truth. We can never change those around us, especially our family members, if they aren't willing to change.
Yaa Rabbi take all her stresses and worries away, bless her and her family with afiyah ameen 🤲🏼
Aameen
Ameen
Aameen
Ameen Ya Rabb
Aameen❤❤
May Allah Ta'ala help this sister ameeen..
And all of us. Ameen Allahumma salli wa sallim ala sayyidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa ashabihi ejmaeen 😢🤲🥺
Ameen. Just from her mannerisms you can tell she's been sad for a long time. May Allah make it easy on all of us
Summa aameen
Ameen
Aameen
Wow. The amount of empathy, patience and intelligence the Sheikh posses with the grace of Allah is immense. I needed to hear this so badly in my life. Alhamdhulillah
The intense effort to change someone can be seen through her eyes as unbearable pain
I was so sad because of my parents, they're not practicing muslims. I was stressed that Allah will ask me on the day of judgement about why I didn't warn my parents . So I tried to make them understand, but they insulted me. They were like, who are you to give us hidayah, you are our child, behave like a child. I would often cry. But this video gave me hope. Alhamdulillah. At this point we can only make dua for our loved one so Allah will change their hearts.
Same
What type of parents u have🙄.
At least they shouldn't mock u for this.
@@hadeedgg1755 may Allah make it easy for us,Ameen.
Ameen
Brother, in sujud weep more for them who knows when Allah wil guide them. In tahajudd prayer, shed tears more and more. Dnt expect result and get stressed rather just say in heart Allah you are the right one only to guide my parents.
8 years ago I tried to change my drug addicted ex, I prayed & cried. But he never changed, Anyway now I m married again & Alhamdulillah I m happy. Allah knows best.
He doesn't deserve life 😂
Tere ex ki Zindagi bhout chuti hogi
Same thing is happening with me..he is not changing but I am praying and praying to Allah..I feel so tired I don't know should I try hard o should I leave..he is my husband.. please pray
@@muniyarahman3982 we can’t change any1 heart, Allah didn’t give us that power. In this world we shouldn’t have too much love/emotion for anything. Your prayers will answer but different way & Allah knows what is best for us. Every day I thanks to Allah that I left & Allah gave me better husband. Alhamdulillah
@nahidaislam6729 I really hope Allah bless me with happiness..passing very darkest time of my life and see no hope. Future seems very unclear and present is haunting me, my dear. This marriage I am trying and trying but it's only me who's trying..the last thing that is left is to leave but I am so scared to take any decision.. I am truly glad you replied..Alhamdulillah that you are happy now.
Allah is behen ki mushkil ko asaan karay .. bohat Dil shikasta lag rahi theein. 😟
Amin
Aameen
I can see myself in her eyes,It's really not easy to see someone doing wrong infront of your eyes whom you love the most😢May Allah subhanahu ta ala make easier for her and me also
And make easy for me also
And make it easy for me too🥺
@@nadiakakar7185 hope you are doing well?
@@nurulhidajaningsih7272 Ameen ya Rabbul Aalameen. InShaAllah
Ameen Ya Rabbul Aalameen. InShaAllah
Such a naive and sweet sister, God knows who she loves so much. That person is really unlucky to not find guidance despite someone being sincere like that
She is crying inside 😭 the pain , May Allah ease her test❤
“O Allah, I hope for Your mercy. Do not leave me to myself even for a blink of an eye. Correct all of my affairs for me. There is none worthy of worship except You.”
This is breath taking, I can feel from the sister's eyes her pain, her feeling of hollow inside her soul, and the status Allah has Given to my brother Nouman with all the confidence and conviction he counseled the sister.
Look at all the du'ās the sister is getting! Māshallah! May Allāh accept them!
Allahuma Ameen
I NEEDED THISSS !!! I swear this is all I needed to hear today it brought so much peace in my heart tysm , I will share à story below i witnessed recently .
Please share the story
Please cooky cutie. Share the story. We all want to be inspired by your story
Come on cookie
@ShaBunny im sorry for late update , i have plenty of stories , ill pick the short one , the story is about a mother and a daughter , the mother is a muslim but was raised in a non muslim family and had a very poor knowledge about religion and her daughter grew up to be a STRICT muslim , growing up (shes maybe 40 yo ) and the mother is 80 yo , the daughter started to notice the mother poor knowledge about islam and how to do salat and other things like that so she started lecturing the mother (illiterate) and by time it escalated to pure humiliation, the daughter started to call the mother a "kafira" (non believer ) bc the mother didn't change the way she prayer or improved , us the family kept. Telling the daughter to leave her mother be , SHe took it personal and felt like we are all against her and we are all not following the religion correctly, it led to a huge glass wall between the family , months later now , us the family stoppef getting involved in this subject and let daughter and mother fight , it was painful to watch but we chose that its not our fight anymore , so the daughter joined a muslim group of woman that teach and educate people at the mosque , the daughter started to teach other people quran and surat and so she felt above everyone and started lecturing her mother even more , one day the cheikh was there and he was giving a short lesson at the mosque and so she talked about her constant fight with her mother AND HOW SHE IS "TIRED" and "DONE" with her mother , and she is a shamed of having such a mother and how she feels that her mother will go to hell bc she is doing everything related to islam Wrong ,and how she feels like shes the only one correcting her mother and pushing her to the right path by forcing her everyday to do more , and how everyone that is not correcting her mother feels to her like a nonbeliever and like a thorn in her way to guide her mother , tHE CHEIKH LISTENED then to her big surprise he kinda scolded her , telling her how wrong it is that she is treating her own mother with such a disrespect and who is she to judge and who is she to know what fate awaite her mother and shes NOT A MESSENGER OF GOD and helping someone comes from kindness and showing the way how anf not giving orders and correcting people bc she her self can be absolutely wrong , and the fact that her mother is illiterate and still pray and fast for Ramadan and is opening the her house and feeding people and is doing duaa is actually wonderful and enough, the imam said absolutely the total opposite of what she expected, she left the mosque bc she felt humiliated, us the family knew about this story not from the daughter but from the people that were there , and we are witnessing how the mother is now actually improving since her daughter stopped the yelling , scolding and constant degradation, the mother now is asking more about how to fix her way of praying and how such a word is pronounce and we are happy the fight between mother and daughter are less than before although from time to time the daughter bring back the subject again but with what the cheikh said and what nouman ali khan said i feel at ease that we actually had is all right and feel better now i can confidently say that you cant change people you can only advisce them with kidness AND AT THE RIGHT time , not humiliate and expose people in front of everyone but kindly and when the person is at peace and ready to hear what you have to say and always with kind words , i hope this story will help someone bc there was going to be a BIG family feud if the cheikh didn't correct her , we were about to find a DRASTIC solution like taking the mother away from the daughter and letting her know what she is about to loose , but im glad it didnt go there and that now we can finally advise people in a way that wont hurt anyone, we cant change people it comes from them we can obly advise them it such a beautiful lesson .
@@imranlion1996 im sorry for late update , i have plenty of stories , ill pick the short one , the story is about a mother and a daughter , the mother is a muslim but was raised in a non muslim family and had a very poor knowledge about religion and her daughter grew up to be a STRICT muslim , growing up (shes maybe 40 yo ) and the mother is 80 yo , the daughter started to notice the mother poor knowledge about islam and how to do salat and other things like that so she started lecturing the mother (illiterate) and by time it escalated to pure humiliation, the daughter started to call the mother a "kafira" (non believer ) bc the mother didn't change the way she prayer or improved , us the family kept. Telling the daughter to leave her mother be , SHe took it personal and felt like we are all against her and we are all not following the religion correctly, it led to a huge glass wall between the family , months later now , us the family stoppef getting involved in this subject and let daughter and mother fight , it was painful to watch but we chose that its not our fight anymore , so the daughter joined a muslim group of woman that teach and educate people at the mosque , the daughter started to teach other people quran and surat and so she felt above everyone and started lecturing her mother even more , one day the cheikh was there and he was giving a short lesson at the mosque and so she talked about her constant fight with her mother AND HOW SHE IS "TIRED" and "DONE" with her mother , and she is a shamed of having such a mother and how she feels that her mother will go to hell bc she is doing everything related to islam Wrong ,and how she feels like shes the only one correcting her mother and pushing her to the right path by forcing her everyday to do more , and how everyone that is not correcting her mother feels to her like a nonbeliever and like a thorn in her way to guide her mother , tHE CHEIKH LISTENED then to her big surprise he kinda scolded her , telling her how wrong it is that she is treating her own mother with such a disrespect and who is she to judge and who is she to know what fate awaite her mother and shes NOT A MESSENGER OF GOD and helping someone comes from kindness and showing the way how anf not giving orders and correcting people bc she her self can be absolutely wrong , and the fact that her mother is illiterate and still pray and fast for Ramadan and is opening the her house and feeding people and is doing duaa is actually wonderful and enough, the imam said absolutely the total opposite of what she expected, she left the mosque bc she felt humiliated, us the family knew about this story not from the daughter but from the people that were there , and we are witnessing how the mother is now actually improving since her daughter stopped the yelling , scolding and constant degradation, the mother now is asking more about how to fix her way of praying and how such a word is pronounce and we are happy the fight between mother and daughter are less than before although from time to time the daughter bring back the subject again but with what the cheikh said and what nouman ali khan said i feel at ease that we actually had is all right and feel better now i can confidently say that you cant change people you can only advisce them with kidness AND AT THE RIGHT time , not humiliate and expose people in front of everyone but kindly and when the person is at peace and ready to hear what you have to say and always with kind words , i hope this story will help someone bc there was going to be a BIG family feud if the cheikh didn't correct her , we were about to find a DRASTIC solution like taking the mother away from the daughter and letting her know what she is about to loose , but im glad it didnt go there and that now we can finally advise people in a way that wont hurt anyone, we cant change people it comes from them we can obly advise them it such a beautiful lesson .
How beautiful our Quran is ,Islam and how beautifully Allah teaches us ,MashAllah.I'm blessed to be Muslim ,and May Allah make practice Muslim Ameen 👍🏻🤍
„The effort should be done to bring change in yourself, not in someone else.“ ❤
That your sentence is for me,I must implement this
The effortlessness she feels after putting so much effort💔. This is such a needed video for many emotional womens. You need to know when to stop, that brings you peace
A bit off topic but I just realized how beautiful Urdu language sounds.
I feel her. Struggled for years for my family, knowing that hidayah comes from Allah, even just informing was such a struggle, only a bit of information seems like a threat for them. it was heartbreaking. I feel your tears waiting to drop down your eyes, sister. you are not alone.
He provided proofs and reasoned but I felt her heart breaking. Subhanallah!
سلام ھو ھمارا جناب ابو طالب علیہ الصلات والسلام پہ اور ان کی آل پہ۔
جناب ابو طالب محافظ دین اور محافظ بنوت۔
MashAllah ....may Allah protect you and rewards you in both worlds!
Such an important message. Jazak Allah
I seriously respect this man❤❤❤
So true, i am facing this problem with my kids.. it's very heartbroken to see them, and it's very hard to realize when the person is your love one's. May Allah give my kids to hidayat and complete Emaan ameen.😢😢
Assalamu alaikum brother, I just wanna take a moment to appreciate the quality of your videos, both the content and the video. May Allah reward you...
Ustad May Allah (swt) protect you! Thank you for sharing the knowledge!
I just wanted to say thank you for making this video. I am actually going to save it in a playlist for my tough days! This is coming from an abuse survivor Alhamdulillah!
First of all Salam aleikum brothers and sisters. This video was exactly what I needed. Brother Nouman thank you, and may Allah bless you.
This is insanely powerful!
What a perfect response. May Allah bless you and reward you for your efforts and for your wisdom. I wish that I may attain the knowledge that you possess about the Quran in the future, insh’Allah.
MashAllah,Sir you are bringing awareness in pakistan .May Allah bless you more and help you achieve your goal 👍🏻🌺🌺
Subhan Allah
Amazing scholar
Mashalla Brother may Allah grant you Janna
I feel the same way she feels. May Allah guide us all
MashAllah ....may Allah protect you and rewards you in both worlds!
Much needed answer....
Waiting for the whole session...
JazakAllah Khair!
Ustad 🥺🥺 thank you for guiding us
We love you 💖
Mashallah Ustaad...Allah SWT gave you the eloquence to speak and explain....May Allah SWT accept your efforts and give you a great reward🤲
MashaAllah sir numan may ALLAH SWT BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
Subhanallah this is my story with my family specifically my little brother may Allah guide us Allahumma amine
The sister looked satisfied in the end....she looked sad in the beggining.... Alhamdulilah for Islam
Mash Allah! Very helpful question-answer
May Allah have mercy on her 💖🥺
Alhamdulillah..this lecture just change my perspective....I used to give so many advices to people that they just started avoiding me...
Ameen for all the prayers for her
Ma Shaa Allah so looking forward to this series...Allahumma balighna ramadan..
Ya Allah bless us with your mercy Ameen summa Ameen..
Jazakallah Ustad.. I'm glad you are answering all such questions we have in our head.. May Allah help us in spreading the words of Allah.
I love you Ustad! You are awesome! I have learnt so much by watching your speeches, discussions, and Q&As. Allah Bless you and your family abundantly for sharing your knowledge and understanding of our beautiful Holy Qur'an and the teachings of our beloved Rasoolullah Sallallahu Allaihiwasallam
Sister I feel your pain . May Allah guide us all and help us and guid our children.
Sir you are true gem ♥️
Love from India ♥️♥️
Beautifully explained..we all should try to change ourselves first and continue asking Allah to give guidance to our Love ones
Masha Allah, nouman sir you resolve my question in deeply my mind. May Allah reward you
Mashaallah ❤bahot hi khubsurat jawab diye wajeh clear ho gayi
So beautifully explained the issue which can be seen everywhere in our household and society.
Thank you Noman bhai.
JazakAllah for helping many of us to think right and thoughtfully.
Subhan'Allah, Ustad Norman has always given the vision of every thing according to Quran as it saying to humans and so nicely he conveyed the mind of her and shows her the right track to keep herself tension free from the burden she is going through..May Allah subhan'wa tah'ala help her.Aameen
The way of explaining is loving, respectfully and effective. Legendary response and brilliant questions from que.
Alhamdullillah who guided me to Sheikh Nouman Ali Khan's content--I've learned so much from his videos about my religion than I have my whole life living in a Muslim country. This is the bitter truth, no matter how hard we try to guide someone, they won't be guided unless they want to. I learned the same thing in psychology: the number one rule for someone to change is for them to want to change in the first place, other people can't make them change. Still we pray that Allah guides those we love so we may reunite with them in the afterlife. That's all we can do for them.
Her voice and eyes had deep pain and sorrow Ya ALLAH please grant her ease in this life and the next ameen
She had a genuine question, something very personal within her heart
Speechless ❤Ma Sha Allah sir live long and healthy
May Allah give her courage and patience
SubhanAllah I was in need of this bayan.. it's really painful when you see people you love is not on the right path no matter how hard you try to talk to them about issues, they won't change .. may Allah swt guide us all before its too late Ameen ❤️
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahiwabarakatuh, brothers and sisters! JazakAllah khayr for providing english subs so that this whole world could benefit from this video!
Walekumassalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh
God bless you sister. Perfect answer from the sheikh Noman.
MashAllah! I see how she feels helpless when she hears the truth. May Allah help her wish come true. Aamin! I am looking forward to the full video. JazakAllah Khairan!
Subhan Allah, not doubt … Noman Ali khan i salute!
What a beautiful and logical answer he gave. Listening to this you get all answers
mashallah very wise advice. So sorry for the sister though, you can see she is going though a bad time in her life. May Allah give tranquility to her heart
May Allah ease out her pain. And pain of every hurting soul.
May Allah سبحان و تعالٰی Bless & help you.... Lot of prayers for you sister 💫❤️
ماشاء الله تبارك الله
اللهم انفع به ومكن له وافتح به
Allah hu Akbar few moments back I was thinking I wish I had chance to pour my heart to Ustadh Nouman Sahab and alhumdulillah this video turned up and this lady exactly asked the same things I was worried for many years.
Sheikh's speech is so amazing ✌️
Ahhh that woman...May ALLAH Almighty Bless her wd ease...Amin🤲
Yaa Allah swt grant her peace, she is in such pain. May Allah ease her problems
Jazakallah o khair
JazakAllah to her very deep question
So many women facing these issues Allah help her
Ameen
Ya rabbi,, please accept her prayers and make her wish come true aameen
SubhanAllah I'm facing the same issues 😪 this really help me Alhamdulillah
Jazakumullahu khair 👍
same,sister😞 it's very painful, right?
Same. May Allah help us all. ❤
Maine bhi apne pariwar walo ke liye koshish ki thi masaallah 5se 6 saal lag gye dheere dheere change aata hai
I know her pain, frustration, and feeling of helplessness so well. Elder women taught me that all we can do (for our children, family) is pray. May Allah grant save whomever she aches for (Amin).
Her case is understandable and relatable.... May Allah help us all.
May Allah forgive us all.
May Allah reward the person who put English subtitles🤍and may He swt relieve this sister’s pain and bring peace to her heart AllahummaAmen.
May Allah Tala ,remove all her pain and fulfill her wishes.
Aameen
Jazakallahu Khaira
May Allah SWT ease her mind and give her peace and strength ❤
May Allah create ease for all the burning hearts, may Allah provides us comfort in his raza, ameen.
I feel the pain on her face ans she doesn't look satisfied as if she is trying holding back her tears in her throat, May Allah grant her happiness and solution if all her problems and likewise for all of us, ameen.
It’s an useful information Alhamdulillah.
I can feel her pain. May Allah Help her. Ameen
If she reads this or others who are in the same situation, just focus yourself and pray to Allah. Thats how I got out of this and Alhumdulillah its affecting others too.
thank you and exactly you are right , you can not change anyone 🙏
Ohhh Allaahhhh..
Whatt would it feel like. Talking to such great personalities.
Knowing someone who would help you to receive the right guidance..
MashaAllah..😭
Its a blessing to have u
Zabardust answer ❤
Very nice explanation and it matches every parents .Thank you Ustaz .
What a perfect Islamic guidance to our question directly.. yes I tried so hard And got so far to the maximum but in the end it didn't even matter.. And I remained a hapless Father and a husband. Finally ended up it all. And Alhamdulillah I am happy.. Miss my kid.. May Allah make it easy for people and this sister who have been through these ciritcal stages of life
❤Allah save you every time, every day and every years❤