How to Deal with Difficult People----Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan
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- Опубліковано 12 тра 2024
- How to Deal with Difficult People----Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan.
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The childhood trauma never end ...its a vicious cycle and is so tiring. may Allah give us some relief and have mercy on us. Ameen
Aameen. With the help of Allah you can forget it.May Allah bless you in your deen,dunya and arkhirah.Aameen.
🤲
Summa Ameen
Allah i sa bastare he took my parents i an ill from 2 years my narcisst sister nearly killed i begged mercy on name of allah but she hit me with rods of steel and cups i forgave him thrice she spread lies about ke my reputation is ruined incannot sleep at night medicines dont work my sister daily abuse me allah is having fuk of my misery and suffering i cry for hours dailt some times i dont eat anything all day still that bastard allah does nothing my sister stole my money he constantly abuses me daily i have depression , medicines dont work i have chronic pain to hell is that allah he is a mosnter why he not kills me i am not alive i am dead already incan not bear more abuse womens are always given a victim card islam protects womens more than chickens my mother was abused by my sister too my father is gone whom i cry to i have no one please pray to your allah to kill me and burn me if he wishes but please ask her to kill me i can not bear more i am done i dont need anything i am.exhausted i always forgav people allah is a cruel mosnter he took all my dreamx my love my morher everythinf i have no reason to be living why i am not dead why he wants me to suffer more why i an alive why i am not killed i hate him he does all suffering on us , Inwant him to burn me ir he wants bur i dont want to be alive call your allah and ask him to kill me eat my bones
Prophet صلي الله عليه وسلم said meaning of hadith whenever your sorrows make you sad think about my calamities n sorrows !
I came here to see how to deal with difficult people but what I learnt was something for myself that I'm always too emotional and sensitive about the smallest of things. Recently I was thinking that I should get over this and start taking things lightly. I felt this was for me I have taken my feelings superior to everything.May Allah guide my heart further as Allah is the greatest, everything else falls secondary and of no meaning. This lesson just came at the right time.
Subhanallah right evenly what i needed too. I literally diagnosed mother with narcissism but then i switched to empathising with her she cannot apologise that's an issue she has but that is not necessary for me as an adult and mum myself i cannot be still starched to her in the codependant way i have been and need to just be there for her as a daughter and not expect much from her. She did a bad job though i do dua for her and live with her it is stragglers but i cannot change her. Now i realised she has ADHD it romaine more of what she goes through daily and why she does certain things and i cannot blame her i can only help her with tips and remind her when she needs help and learn to help myself learn to just calm myself down when she does trigger my traumas again.
Subhanallah right evenly what i needed too. I literally diagnosed mother with narcissism but then i switched to empathising with her she cannot apologise that's an issue she has but that is not necessary for me as an adult and mum myself i cannot be still starched to her in the codependant way i have been and need to just be there for her as a daughter and not expect much from her. She did a bad job though i do dua for her and live with her it is stragglers but i cannot change her. Now i realised she has ADHD it romaine more of what she goes through daily and why she does certain things and i cannot blame her i can only help her with tips and remind her when she needs help and learn to help myself learn to just calm myself down when she does trigger my traumas again.
Amazing response ! May Allah SWT bless you always .
How to feel less
Masha’Allah
Please pray for my autistic kids. I pray that Allah swt answer all your prayers
Prayers sent your way 🙏
Insallah they will become better than yesterday
May Allah grant him/her shifa e kamila ameen
May Allah bless him and give him a better health ❤
Look into "the g.a.p.s diet" it was designed for autistic children. May Allah swt grant them shifaa Ameen 🤲🏼
And you just proved that Quran and Islam came for all times! How beautifully you applied deen with todays societal issues. Amazing! SubhanAllah
Alhamdulillah we have a scholar like Ustadh Nouman. His insight and ability to explain to others are remarkable, MashaAllah.
May Alah bless him....i love ❤❤this bro for the sake of Allah
Alhamdulillah
He is light
He is hope
May Allah bless him so so much
Aameen
Aameen
I love him for Allah
ALLAHUAKBAR.
Tabarakallah
Surah Rahman - The ultimate remedy
All those suffering from any physical,mental,spiritual or black magic should listen Surah "Al-REHMAN" a recitation by Qari Abdul Basit(Without translation) 3 times morning, afternoon,evening , a day for 7 consecutive days with closed eyes.Every time after listening take half a glass of water, close eyes and say "ALLAH, ALLAH, ALLAH " in heart and drink the water fully in 3 sips .
ua-cam.com/video/qa4DxgpSw7o/v-deo.htmlsi=sPGelv5V3lBNdswb
Dealing with difficult inlaw is one of a kind. the people who hurt you, still doesn't change, so you just having new wounds, the old ones even haven't healed yet. I can only pray that Allah guide me and give me strength.
In laws are not family. It’s a relationship of mutual respect. You can cut them off for mental health and only see them during eid or when they are sick but make sure the spouse and grandchildren visit them regularly.
I know exactly what you’re going through. May ALLAH ease your pain and give you sabar jamil.
@@hamidamahmud53 ❣
I have same question how to deal with toxic inlaws who always try to destroy your imagie,charter and many year has passed .my husband listens them and always ask me sabar,Sabar,and everytime told me its your mistake go and say sorry.....I always do but now Im tired what to do😢
@@secretboi2684your husband dsnt respect you sister 😢 may Allah bless you with more sabar
The narcissistic behaviour needs to change his or her ego. We can't see what's in people's hearts, but their actions say a lot. Hurting people is not part of Islam like he mentioned about Yusuf As brothers, and they were examples of narcissistism so we can avoid.
Exactly! He should definitely make that clear and not make ppl feel like tjeu are wrong for setting boundaries
Allah sent me this now exactly when i sat after writing a sad poem as i get hurt from the behavior of my younger brother....i learned that i must not change my care and attachment with him and i have to modify my behavior. Crying is ok and i can still pray for his hadayah.
I will pray as i care about my brother. Crying is my feeling and it's ok.
I’m in the same situation but I told myself after been drained worrying and stressing about him that I need to focus taking care of myself so I can take care of my kids. I will continue to make dua for him and pray for him but I need to focus on my mental health.
May Allah forgive me my parents and all the Muslim sisters and brothers
Ameen
Ameen
Forgive. Understand that others make mistakes from their weakest selves. But don't be naive. Don't allow the abuse to continue. Be wise. Keep a respectful distance. Your family has rights upon you. Don't cut ties. Make Du'a for you and for them.
Subhan’Allah… it’s extremely difficult.
When you have been emotionally abused and someone knew they were damaging you psychologically, but just kept going and didn’t care…that’s traumatic.
I’m guilty of throwing the word ‘Narcissist’ around, but the individual I dealt with became unhinged and tyrannical, it wasn’t an easy experience to cope with, it almost pushed me into another depressive state.
Psychological violence is real and it destroys families and devastates the lives of children who deal with such a parent.
I do agree, we cannot diagnose, but as humans, we do need to be able to validate and understand such abuse. I stayed married to them for 22 years until I was thrown away for another. My entire marriage was a lie and even after our divorce, I’m still picking up the pieces they shattered.
May Allah protect us from those who lack empathy and accountability and may HE prevent us from becoming such individuals ourselves…Ameen
I truly understand.
May Allah swt heal you and your family. Ameen.
i hear you may allah guide you and heal you never please never give up youre heart and belief for the people who couldnt understand what iman really is you did came alone you will leave alone this word ❤
Same here. 30 years of narcism ... it's destroying your soul. Get out don't stay. Run 🏃 with your children asap. The hurt is to much !!!
May Allah bring ease to your heart, dear one. ❤
@@haven-of-bliss Ameen
Jazak’Allah khair sister…Eid Mubarak ♥️
Sometimes it’s better for them too to love a narcissistic person from distance and pray for them while you heal yourself. After many years of marriage and constant disrespect, you just don’t think about yourself anymore but only for your children’s future.
Mash'Allah 🤲🏼 every situation is different. But this video is eye opening
Same 😢
I was actually distancing myself with people whoever make me overwhelm and make me uncomfortable in public. Passing down comment or twisting tales made me turn away from lots of people. All these days I was thinking I am trying to heal from what caused me pain but in truth its other way round. Allah guided me to this vdo and he wanted me to change my perspective of how I view people. They need forgiveness too and I need to put my invisible arrogance down be humble and kind towards people who did mistakes to me. I was so much invested on isolating myself and called them toxic instead try to understand what society has been doing to my so called mental health.. I believe that everyone who uses social media needs to hear this to cleanse their mind and heart!! We are too much consumed by pop culture’s mental health terms, that we have started labeling people to make our selves feel better!! In the end, we all are sinners who are repeatedly repenting and asking for forgiveness from Almighty ♥️ May allah forgive our sins and make our heart forgivable for others.. Ameen
During ramzan, this thing don't use to happen with me before but when the ramzan strted , I strted fearing people for no reason ( even including the people who are younger than me ) during my school kids I used to get bullied , now I think there is a fear too that they can bully me , even i don't like people staring me ,but then I think if I don't stare them back they will think I fear them , maybe I am overthinking idk tho but may Allah make things easy for me and for you tooo. Aameen 🫶🏻
Don't accept abuse.
I love him so much for the sake of Allah ❤
I love this perspective , we are so quick to judge people and label people as though we don’t have any flaws.
I love Me Nouman Ali’s khan perspective as usual so positive and encompassing.
May Allah reward you and your family Nouman Ali khan, you are truly a life saviour.
Beautiful message to all of us who think the conflict is outside of us, when reality its a test of our faith! Much love for you all and thank you for what you do. 😊
What an explanation of such a difficult topic, but needs to be paused and listened, Allahu Akbar
"I'm supposed to go through some of these difficult experiences to truly experience guidance." ❤
Dear Ustadz , from what I know of, some people are feelers, some are thinkers. It will be easy for thinker type people to manage their feelings because they are more logical. For feelers, they are not tune to use logical/rationality because their emotions are their main function.
Amazing lecture mashaAllah. However narcissts can be very dangerous so it's important to identify it and find a safe escape.
i think you totally missed his point. Most of the time, its a close family member that people cant really run away from, such as a parent! We have to take breaks from them if needed but eventually return and deal with them. May Allah make it easy for all those who have unhealthy family members to bear an Islamic attitude when dealing with them
@fathima1639 I was thinking about spouses and friends. Of course with family one will be stuck and God help people.
@@marypoppins6973 in the case of spouses or Muslim friends too, not every arrogant individual is narcissistic like instagram psychology tells us. but of course, we shouldn't allow ourselves to be treated very poorly by anyone and seek help in extreme or harmful situations
some people are sexually absused by their parents then what? Have faith and turn the page? I totally got his point but I just disagree overall good message but it's not that simple
I am so impressed with this Scholar. .
As a person who has background in psychology, I see that ustadh says something different from the others. This is great. Right, modern psychology makes us judge people easily. Which brings no good either for us and for somebody else.
I need help understanding this. As a western woman learning about Islam, I’m struggling to let go of past teachings. It’s never been about JUDGING peoples actions but about trying to UNDERSTAND peoples actions and showing compassion. Through compassion comes understanding and through understanding comes forgiveness. I don’t understand why this is bad.
What if my family member was diagnosed as a narcissist by a professional psychiatrist, does this advice still apply? It's not just a feeling it's also that the person who is hurting you is disturbed psychologically. Help me understand please.
@@Xtine72 it's not bad, one must understand the other from their perspective which allows them to show compassion and forgiveness
Allahu ekber... selam alejkum from Bosnia and Herzegovina im Europa...❤
*A special thank you to the team behind this channel. Your uplifting messages have been a source of strength and comfort during difficult times. May Allah bless you abundantly for your kindness*
I really needed to hear this speech. It's so helpful. Thank you! May Allah (SWT) help and protect us all!
May Allah bless you, strengthen you, oh ustad!
[04.04.24]
OMG SUBHANALLAH this was soo needed. My sister began being kind as she left because i gave her my pass she needed but then I only thought about myself how its so easy for them to flip after my hard days none of them ever recognises their doings to me hence nor apologise but i will not worship my emotions SubhanAllah this was just eye opening man.
Wow Allah is Allatif, The all subtle as he recommended this video to me knowing I will watch it, I love Him lots
Only Allah almighty knows the truth within everyone I agree with you no one should start labeling another just focus on your own self, others doings and your own doing is judged only by Allah himself. May Allah S.W.T forgive us and guide us with his Mervy.
I am surrounded by toxic people...this is at work. It has been relentless, their continuous verbal abuse which is totally uncalled for, makes me think that there is Sihr involved as well. I do my qiyamul leyl and adhkar together with the short version of ruqiya sharia every morning...it has been an unrelenting 3 1/2 years of this attack. There are times when I feel a momentary sadness...but in my heart of hearts I feel ALLAH( swt)'s love and mercy...ya Sheikh how do I figure out what ALLAH(swt) wants of me?
Allahu Akbar SubuhanaAllah Walhamdullillah Wallaillaha Illallah Allahu , iam going through the same fitna from work day in day out , but iam very strong in the tawakal I found out they are narcissists who are abused from their homes and carries them to others after they cries victims SubuhanaAllah.
I know you’ve already thought about it, but I will say it anyway, if u have a slightest option to find another job please try to quit it, I’ve gone through the same and left the people and that toxic workplace to them. It was affecting me mentally
Your sanity n iman comes first plz look for another job , ALLAH SUBHANAHU TA’ALA is the Raaziq dont feel hopeless rise above your self esteem n see ALLAH ALMIGHTY is with you
With your burden ..happening to you..
Is sign Allah testing you..
Every single human will be test to prove the faith
Allah allow us to meet with difficult people for a reason...and surely HE will always watch ....thank you brother, may Allah protect you...aamiin...
It's been so tough....i was born in complicated family, broken home 😂😢
Me too ukhty. 😔😔
Where we born is not in our control, but what we do with our lifes and brains are in our control, but actualy we dont know how to take that control? Do you want to take th control of your life? And feel empowered? You may connect with me i am clinical psychologist and transformation coach,
I transform people life & Mind twards betterment
May the Almighty Lord guide us through the difficult time in life with strong IMAN ..........Ameen summa ameen
Alhumdulillah this video is eye opener for all of us today as every family goes thru these stages of conflicts. I have been searching the reason for conflicts and its caused by shayateen and emotional ego. The solution being replacing emotions with good vibes and thats what emotional intelligence is.
I'm suffering from day one of my 23years of marriage... Because of my children I can't ran away... AllahhuAkbaar
Is it the man am so sorry 😔😔
I am suffering from mental health since age 5 and I am 60 years old. While going through my health problems, the Muslims used to call me crazy. Is your problem big or mine?
Please, make sulatul istikhrah and seek guidance from Allah swt.
May Allah ease your problems.
I have been waiting for this video. Jzkak Sheikh for providing us with this knowledge. I tried pop psychology and my heart wasn't at peace. Islam is encompassing and universal, it gives people room to change.
This is true, jazak allah khair. Please make dua for us all, may Allah help us to overcome our problems and reward us with better understanding and make us closer to our deen.
Ya Allah, I came across this video;
Just like it’s made for me.
Ohh all believers here, please for me - dealing with a narcissistic spouse; not able to come out of this for many reasons.
Please pray for me..
Ameen
Ustaz NAK brilliance is unmatched MASHALLAH May Allah reward him
❤amazing... Very thought pondering nasihat which I needed so badly.... Shukran
Maa Shaa Allah.
May Allah SWT bless this scholar, which includes going to Jannatul-Firdaus.
And all of us too.
Aameen.
Ya Allah help us and guide us and guide our hearts to not be emotional and to heal!!
❤ Allah knows best
SubhanAllah
SubhaanAllah.
I lv da part ustad said firaun heart made by some special kind of stone will never crack.. Haha😂😂😂
So true.
Jazak Allah khairan ustad
So true.👍
Jazakallah Khair
Aameen. Jazakallah khair
❤Masha Allah Tabarakallah
Subhan Allah
Jazakallah khair
سبحان الله
Wow wow wow mashallah
wow. what a realistic khutba . love it .
MashaAllah
تقبل الله منا ومنكم
Alhamdulillah
SubhanALLAH ...JazakALLAH...
جزاکم اللّہ خیرا🌻🌸
Subhanallah, thank you
JazaakAllaah o khair! You solved my problem!
Allahumdulilah❤
The prophets did exactly what the pop psychology said they stayed away and started a new journey. Abtaham left for a new journey so did Yousef AS they had greater missions to complete werent meant to stay home and Allah didnt force them to forgive rather at every chance Yousef encouraged his brothers to repent from their sins and ask for forgiveness from the creator and feared they will be punished for what they did.
Thank you for this. I like this guy but hasn’t experienced truly narcissist family they destroy you
No. Those prophets didn't left for new journey by their own choice rather they were made to leave the land forcefully in case of prophet Abraham and the wicked plan of brothers of prophet Yousuf made him leave the land without his own will
True to its core
Jazakallah khair ya Shaikh
SubhanALLAH
I feel so much relief here, so much calm. Oh Allah, thank you for bringing me here. 🤍
I have learned something profound from this khutbah. Really reorganised my perspective on stuff. May Allah reward you abundantly. And thank you for your advise to Andrew Tate, I recently watched that video and you know, it reminded me of what the Quran says about using the best of speech in addressing ppl. You examplify "the best of speech". Jazhakumullahu Khairan!
Jazak Allah khair
Alhamdulillah, it's awesome.
جزاك الله خيرا
Subhanallah 😊
Subhan ALLAH 💚ALLAH hu Akbar 💕. Alhamdulillah 💚. JAZAk ALLAH 💖.
Jazak'Allahu-khair. Very interesting
Alhumdolillaah! Who sent you for our guidance!
Omg, I completely understand and agree with this!!!!!
Beautiful
subhanAllah Alhamdulillah
JazaakAllaah o khair ….several times! Aameen!
Thank you
JazaakAllaah o khair! You guided us well!
Beautifully potrayed
Thank you ✨️💕
Amazing
MashaAllah Very nice sermon jazakAllah
Subhan Allah ❤❤❤ thank you for sharing!
Au nom d’Allah, je m’en remets à Allah, et il n’y a de force ni de puissance qu’en Allah le Très haut 🤲🏽 amine
This lecture is a blessing
Allah is great ❤
thankyou very much
Beautiful Bayaan Alhumdulilah
When you have adult kids that do not get along it is has been difficult. As a mother it is emotionally draining so much tension and division. I'm always stuck in the middle. May Allah make it easy. I'm at a point where I just have to get away.
Beautifully said
Subhanallah this short talk put a lot of things in perspective. I have been analysing at a personal level on the psychological effects of childhood trauma in our lives and how it shapes our current relationships( or in other words bits and pieces of modern psychology taken from various books and online articles). In the process,I actually ended up mentally labelling people and judging them( which I know in an islamic sense is wrong to judge intentions). But how brother nouman puts things in perspective through teachings from Qur'an is amazing.
I would say learning about psychology both from secular and islamic sense is important to throw some light into this subject.
Yaa Allah this msg is for me Alhamdullilah I have those pple around me mother and siblings
This is directed at me, Alhamdulillahi.
Best lecture ever, Baraka Allahu feeka!
Alhamdulilah excellent beneficial talk MashaAllah