My Separation Story: Mimi Ikonn on Rediscovering Herself
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- Опубліковано 24 лип 2024
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This week, Valeria welcomes her dear friend Mimi Ikonn to chat all about her “conscious separation” from her husband. Their discussion uncovers why being true to yourself is the key to genuine happiness, inner growth, and ultimate freedom. Learn practical strategies to break free from the debilitating grip of fear, stop the cycle of self-sacrifice, and find the courage to live authentically every single day.
Through personal stories, expert insights, and actionable advice, this episode will empower you to listen to your intuition, navigate life's transitions and breakups with confidence, and unlock your true potential. Whether you're seeking personal or relational growth or a deeper understanding of yourself, this conversation offers the tools and inspiration you need to embark on your journey toward a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Mimi is on:
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Pussy: A Reclamation by Regena Thomashauer a.co/d/0iIfX7nQ
Letting Go: The Pathway to Surrender by David Hawkins a.co/d/0gBIRKPn
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What We Talked About:
00:00 Intro
00:55 Life changes and facing fears
03:44 Intuition
12:31 Losing the feeling of love
19:36 We get to evolve and change
23:07 How to be authentic
27:39 Face your fears full on
29:49 Attachment theory
43:10 Being aware of your insecurities
47:29 Finding yourself again
51:25 It’s not love, it’s attachment
54:13 A woman’s natural instinct
59:30 Choose what’s right for you
01:02:38 Self-sacrifice is not an option
01:06:10 Book resources
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I'm so in awe of Mimi and her vulnerability during this season of her life. Have you ever separated from a long-term partner? If you have, what was the best piece of advice you received?
If you enjoyed this episode, please like this video and subscribe to my channel for more Not Alone! Your support means the world to me 🫶 Thank you!
Are you preparing for a divorce yourself ? Talking to all these divorced women and the nonsense they talk about … “Conscious expansion”…? Should I call eating my breakfast “transforming physical void to physical and mental satisfaction”?
@@ValeriaLipovetsky Valeria, I have always admired your content and logic thinking. Please stop slipping into this false image of success and living an authentic life.
You are in away or another planting the seeds to destroy hundreds of perfect marriages around the world.
Please pause and reflect upon your influence and use it wisely. You don’t need Mimi’s platform nor story to be part of your content.
You should interview people who stay in long-term relationships through and through and how they did it, because breaking up a marriage is easy and is not applaudable. Sticking to a marriage is.
I rarely leave a comment here, but i have been following you from the very beginning, and it pains me to see that you are subscribing to this wrong idea of empowering women. I know that you know better.
@@ValeriaLipovetsky In AWE??? Of what?? She just successfully destroyed the FAMILY. You can sugar coat it or color it anyway you want. There is a CHILD at stake here. C’MON
This wasn't vulnerable. This was empty talk for 1 hour. Can anyone provide 3 key things she said aside from: "listen to your heart and trust yourself" ? Something tangible. It was much ado about nothing.
@@Maha88815you said it perfectly! 100% agree with you.
Perfect marriages or relationships aren't real; each one is different. What makes one person content might not make another person content. But I've discovered that there's always a solution to every problem. Five years ago, my wife and I were facing divorce because of issues in our marriage, but we managed to resolve them. It was challenging, but we made it through.
I honestly want to be happy as well. I'm in a relationship, and even though we're apart, I can't think of life without her; my love for her is deep. I really hope she comes back, and I'm fully committed to making it work. We've tried different methods, like therapy, to fix things.
Saying farewell to someone you love dearly is never easy, but in my case, I had the assistance of a spiritual counselor who saved my marriage from falling apart. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
Thank you for this advice. I'll promptly start searching for her online. I appreciate it. I'm optimistic that pursuing this approach will also lead to favorable outcomes for me; her absence weighs heavily on me.
I'm sorry. I don't get it. You left a 16 yr old perfectly good marriage with an "amazing partner" because you "felt like it was the right thing"?!?!? A "gut feeling"?!? That is NOT true intuition. That's misguided thinking. You feel empowered now that you separated because you proved to yourself that you can actually do things that you were too scared to do alone? Like sleeping alone? Obviously, we all find new strenghts and overcome fears when we don't have a choice. Why couldn't you overcome your fears while still being respectful to the union you were a part of? We all go through phases where we do not feel romantically connected to our partners.That's why marriage takes extremely hard work. And it takes way more courage and authenticity to actually stay with your partner through those phases and do the long hard introspection about different attachement styles and intuition and sexual attraction in partnership with him. If you are going to openly share about why you separated then at least be thruthful but please don't use valuable tools like intuition or authenticity to justify the break up of something so elevated as marriage. It comes across as selfish and very childish. I hope I misunderstood this whole interview.
You are the only sane person in here! I second everything you said.
@@Maha88815 I third everything she said. Mimi has lost the plot.
She is a role model that I do not want to learn from. Sometimes, someone else's experience also shows us that this is not the path you want your path to be. Wishing you all the best, Mimi. But unlike you, I'd work on my relationship together with my partner if sth arise! You are so delusional!
Guys it’s HER experience. She doesn’t HAVE to do anything she doesn’t want, she allows herself that freedom! Of course you don’t get it. This is the biggest expression of self love. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
most likely she is not being honest about the reasons for a break-up. most likely the husband cheated, but it would be too tragic to admit it to the whole world for both of them as they have for years been in a public eye as an exemplary couple.
To me Mimi is an example of an influencer with that fake instagram life that has nothing to do with a reality. I used to follow her many years ago until I realized she is not the person she is trying to be in her social media. I’m not surprised that her « perfect » marriage came to an end.
@@mrsdiii2354 WHY? WHY?WHY ? WHY?! Does this generation of women feel the need to FOLLOW influencers that LITERALLY HAVE NO EXPERIENCE WHATSOEVER- yet feel the right to have a “ platform” to tell Y’all how life works????! Women - give you selves enough credit to deal with life, and it’s storms that WILL come your way. LISTEN to your own Mothers, Grandmothers, God Mothers, Aunts that came before you for they hold the key to wisdom and they have lived life. You don’t just jump ship because it gets difficult.
My life became 1000 times better since I deleted my Instagram account and stopped comparing myself to influencers with perfect life, perfect relationships, perfect bodies, perfect skin, perfect kids, perfect houses and never ending vacations. I don’t need people like Mimi to inspire me because I don’t know her, I know nothing about her real life.
Yeah and she even had written a book on relationships 😂😂😂 fake af
I'll just simplify this without the BS of toxic positivity and expansion nonsense. She married too young without knowing who she was and what she wants in a partner, no longer sexually attracted to him, wants to go explore more.
Nothing wrong with the story, it's fair, just the way of conveying it with so much new age and woke jargon is making us nauseous.
Maybe it's her way of gaslighting everyone because she's deep down guilty of making the relationship seem like something it wasn't, so she needs to gaslight us to thinking that even this another 'success' story.
(Also, she really needs to tone it down with this attitude of how 'all people aren't self-reflective, yet she, the chosen one, is the epitome of courage and fortitude').
Absolutely agree lmao
Finally people exposing this fake personna. She made her business selling her perfection in her life and teaching others about it, selling empty gratitude books and products that bring no value besides being pretty and scamming the mind by associating with "good" and "perfect" and "healthy". Of course her separation story has to be perfect too, to fit the narrative of her business and lifestyle. Now the only one tricked is herself, good job 👏 Next book : how to have a perfect divorce 😂
Your analysis is spot on!
Correct
“He is my best friend. And if being married would have been just cuddling, holding hands and lighting candles, having dinners and deep conversations we would have stayed married forever”. I’m sorry. It doesn’t make any sense.
Maybe no sex is the problem
It sounds like her sexual expectations were the problem here
Mimi's life doesn't have to make sense for anyone, she has to live for herself first and in her truth. Mimi is amazing because she doesn't care about what society thinks is the norm=normal. what's "normal" and what "makes sense' as deemed by society is what keeps 70- 80% of couples in misery around the world according to statistics.
Would love to hear Alex’s and Gary’s views on this
Yes! It would indeed be more objective to show Alex's side. There are two sides to a story!
I don't think Gary and Valeria are divorced or divorcing as far as I'm aware...
I don’t feel Mimi is genuine, don’t feel honesty, openness or authenticity… Have a feeling that she says what is right to say…
I feel like it’s too awkward and lacking tact to tell the whole truth publicly. She really just shouldn’t be doing interviews about this topic at all she comes across insincere cause she can’t fully open up
I actually feel like she is not raw and vulnerable. She has boundaries which is fine. But her Instagram is all about fake positivity when Inside there was a lot of turmoil. Then don't force the positive posts, holidays, ab show offs. Just keep them to yourself. Because you show us that for a year and then out or nowhere comes a surprise post about great Alex is how all great things come to an end and the beautiful friendship you continue to have with him. It's all too generic and fake.
I think you are a critical thinker! I have always seen right through her. Business success at any cause. That’s what it takes. Sad…
Exactly this
She is not being true to herself, there is something about the way that she expresses.
That!!
I loved mimi, i’ve been following her for more then 10 years, I loved her positive attitude, but now I feel it’s too much like she is brainwashed by all those positivity books, quotes, videos… everything doesn’t have to be positive, sometimes you have to fight for bigger goal, sometimes it’s ok to not br ok, even the best relatioships are not good all the time, you have to work on that. Everybody has sometimes difficult days/months and it’s okay, not everything has to be rainbow and unicorns all the time.
Somewhere out in the world is an amazing woman who will one day be thanking Mimi for letting go of Alex.
This!
I would love to know what Gary thinks of this episode.
Who is Gray. I am missing something here?
@@kalasinilelin Gary - Valeria's husband.
We only ever hear from Mimi… what does Alex think? Also who came up with the phrase “conscious expansion” 😂 all Alexa knows is “my parents don’t live together anymore. Also to quote Mimi “i care about having full freedom to explore”
effectively ends your marriage no matter how much false positivity you say. You are creating a false dream for many people.
I used to love Mimi and this really broke my heart. As a child of divorce and knowing the biological results their daughter will suffer so her mother can explore other sexual opportunities is gut retching. A lot of women put themselves in terrible situations because of sexual chemistry with people. Leaving their child with someone they trust, only for someone else to come over they do not know, etc. Comparison is the thief of joy and sometimes when you have everything you focus on the ONE area that needs work and blow it up in your mind to be the most important thing. It's not. I can tell a thousand tales of women destroyed by men who they were super sexually compatible with. Love isn't an emotional and sexual roller-coaster. Love is calm, love is safe, love is boring even. But above all, love is a choice. Forsaking all others and standing by your promise to fall in and out of love with the same person through all their transitions a million times over until the next life, where in my case, I hope to find him again. Call me a hater all you want, but I hope they find their way back to each other when this phase is over and realize once and for all how rare and precious their bond truly is. 🥺
😔
You described love and marriage so accurately! That's what I would have wanted to hear on this podcast. Grounded truth.
I am sorry if this is what you experienced with your mother. And I am sorry that this hurt you. But stop shaming other people and tell them this is what is going to happen, because that is not the truth. I am a child from divorced parents myself and I have always been fine with that. There is no trauma for me. I am happy for my mother. I am happy for my father. The child should know that it is loved. And that the child is not the reason. But that can be done completly remote from the relationship of the parents. My parents do not owe me to stay together if they are not happy anymore. And children notice their parents to be unhappy too, which is just as bad. My parents do not have to sacrifice their hole life for me. I want them to seek their luck. That would be a good example instead of living a lie just to do me a favor, because it isn't. Their were together 16years. I can not imagine that 16years were without the ups and downs every relationship has. I am not saying that you should give up as soon as it gets difficult. It always does. You can grow together. A lot of times you can work it out, if you want to. But sometimes you know that the struggle is not worth it, or you simply do not want it. And thats fine. That is being honest to yourself. Love is not decision. Commitment is, being respectful, being thankful, being selfless, staying together is a decision. You can not decide to love. You love or you dont. You can still act in a beautiful ways and be a team, be partners. Not lovers. This is what Mimi and Alex are doing. They are still wonderful parents to their daugther. They are respectful. They deserve to be happy too.
@@evelyn2937it's great that you didn't have lasting scars but the reality statistically is most children of divorce do. Your experience sounds great and I'm glad your parents didn't that for you but the stats tell that your story is not most children of divorces stories
Thank you for this ❤
She wouldn’t travel with Alex because she didn’t want Alexa to be left behind and now they both travel separately and leave Alexa behind 😣 That poor girl has been dumped so her parents can go off and try to stay relevant on social media, searching for the life they had before she was born 😢
It is so incredibly sad exactly
I think mimi takes Alexa with her almost always but doesn't show her so it looks like she goes alone. Alex on the other hand does not seem like a hands on father.
They share custody, which means they can both travel while the other is with the child.
Valeria WHY ARE YOU COLLABORATING WITH THIS WOMAN!?!!
I don’t think she has the self awareness to understand how deceitful she comes across.
She's far too narcissistic for that to happen lol people like Mimi think they are the second coming of Christ and no one but them is right about everything
Is it me or Valeria looked like she wasnt buying it? 😅
Listened to the end. A lot of stuff covered under "intuition, empowering, mantra" stuff. Why not say openly that you have been with your partner for many MANY years and he's not a sex god - and you want to explore sex and you in your new age? It's totally fine to admit that you're on a new level of self-acceptance and how you feel and you want to explore other men and other feelings and feel sexy and wanted again by MANY, not one man. The standard practice in marriage is only about 2 people, it's hard to begin a free relationship from a traditional marriage - also Mimi says that she's controlling and possessive. So she wouldn't let Alex be free - and neither would he want it - but she wants to explore. But god, be honest about it.
Sounds to me like she just wants to get laid by a different man. It's fine and there is nothing wrong with it. But , spinning like it's conscious uncoupling , stop the madness.
When a lightbulb is no longer working, you change the lightbulb... you dont move out of the house. Disappointed 😔
@@LuckyNumber7 love this analogy!
She was never into him. He "convinced" her to be together. She endured for all this time, never being attracted to him.
feels like this girl is just confused in herself, doesn't share what she has been through. Just fake positivity and the attempt to be counscious, when there is nothing conscious, just lying to the audience and making everyone think like she thinks.
This conversation was honestly so generic - what pain? What lessons? Valeria kept asking good questions, but you still couldn’t be intimate with us. Why didn’t you do all this inner work WHILE still in the relationship?
Yeah it felt surface level and not vulnerable.
I don’t mean to spread negativity, but this all seems disingenuous. People are smarter than you think. Alex and Mimi are in a wellness business together so obviously they can’t disclose the real reason for the divorce… not good for their brand. 🫤
@@mtazcnot being romantically in love is valid point.
She’s not far out of the long term relationship right? She’s only beginning to learn!
When you read Alex's posts on Instagram you can see he is still heart-broken. I have followed her/them for years, but she comes across as quite self-indulgent. She uses the word "authentic" a lot which is ironic. I couldn't even finish listening to this episode. I still feel Alex and Alexa are the "victims" of her self-indulgence and she probably can't even see that yet. What has happened will remain in Alexa's subconscious for many years, and God knows how it will later re-surface. I read somewhere that you don't leave someone you love. You leave someone you have "used". Sometimes too much introspection can lead to self-sabotage and it is so easy to blame indulgent behaviour on intuition. I feel you Valeria could teach her so much about authenticity.
Wow well said
I love how she gives lessons to people on what love is when she doesn't even know herself. She judges people relationship's, openly mocks them. Saying come on most people are not even inlove.
Well, Love isnt all about se× and chemistry for some. Love is more complex than that , its unconditional. Its loving someone so deeply you let go. You love them so much you trust them. I love my husband like that. To the moon and back. I just would want to live eternally just to be with him longer.
Your love for your husband is mature and authentic. Let God protect it.
I guess “free falling “ when financially secure hits different
That part. I feel a little frustrated because "being brave and leaving" is a woman who gets out of an abusive relationship and saves herself/her kids. But apparently, the new brave is leaving a stable, fairly healthy relationship to sexually experiment. 🤷♀️
Being in a good financial place probably made this decision easier for her. At lot of ladies like me stay because the alternative is to remove our selves from a not terrible situation and put our selves in one where we can’t afford rent.
Yup, when you don't have the money to live alone, it is tough to leave a relationship. Having money makes having the courage to be in touch with your intuitions way way easier.
Well, that is your story. Many stay because they genuinely love their partner and the family they have together. And if this is the reason you stay in a relationship, it is also the same reason why you stay in a job or any other situation that is not good enough but leaving it might put you at risk.
And that’s why you shouldn’t rely on a man financially and only have a number of children you will be able to raise by yourself if you two part ways!
She made a good and intelligent decision marrying someone who had ambition, and only agreeing to have one children with him.
@@Lili-cd7cg If she was REAL intelligent, she would have relied on herself to make as much money as she wants. She had never been the bright one of the two. Alex was the smarter one in the relationship.
To me this wasn’t really a surprise. They were never a match in my opinion from the moment I saw them many years ago. My intuition saw that so many years ago and I understand what she means by making intuition choices. They life evolved and now they feel more empowered to seek what they truly are and want. And now they are in the rebound life phase as everyone after long relationship when they have time to truly do what they want without compromise.
Alex was an awesome guy. She will regret it one day.
But such an absent father to Alexa!! I can’t take him seriously when he leaves all year to travel
She didn’t say she was simply no longer attracted. She suggested that they weren’t haven’t sex, which is s big problem in a marriage. And she said she resented him traveling so much against her wishes (although she downplays her wishes as being controlling). Sitting at home, sexually frustrated, while your partner jet sets, sounds horrible. Some of these comments read naive. As someone who did a 15 year marriage bid, staying because of co dependency sucks.
I actually wouldn't call that controlling at all given he was clearly allowed to keep doing it, it just wasn't what she wanted him to be doing. Clearly lifestyle incompatibility was a factor. I hate the notion though that if you openly disagree with your partner about their actions you're automatically labelled as controlling, when if you're in a romantic partnership that's supposed to be one of the strongest bonds you will have in your life, you're allowed to have a say in how you're each spending your time.
@@ania5038 I completely agree with you. I think that having a partner who spends significant time abroad, enjoying travel because they don’t want to make lifestyle compromises once a kid arrives, is a huge issue. It was reasonable for her to have sour feelings about it.
One never knows what is going on in a relationship or in either of their heads. There is a lot of intrigue about what happened in a seeming perfect relationship, but it is really not anyone’s business. It’s clear that they still care deeply for each other and they have a child together. I think that she is sharing what she believes to be important learned advice, and keeps private things private. There’s nothing wrong with that. I wish them all well during this transitional time.
He wanted sex without a condom she didn't want hormonal contraception
Exactly, people who don't know them, don't know and just speculate. I am sure she had her good reasons taking such a difficult decision. It's sad actually. To me, they were a dream couple, and I admired their relationship as somebody who has not found the one at all being in mid-life spending years alone. Others let go what others wish to have. That's life, I guess. But again, nobody knows what's happening underneath the surface and it's not right to judge others. I would have recommended couple therapy as love will change throughout life but, one day a couple did commit to each other. Having a trusting life partner I reckon is the most valuable thing, friends come and go.
She is obviously interested in someone else!
She seems cookoo to me
She is the epitome of the individualistic society we now live in.
Yes
Valeria, like you I’ve followed Mimi since I first joined Instagram and always had such admiration for her. Mimi is obviously going through a big identity transition and I feel sad for her and how painful it must be. She and Alex have always been quite co-dependent and I think she’s trying to work out who she is, independent of him. The sad thing is that she’s given up such an amazing relationship in the process - one that I am sure would have supported her through this transition of self discovery. If only she’d actually gotten support from a professional - a couples counsellor or personal therapist. I think she’s confusing intuition with intrusive thoughts and she’s confusing infatuation with real mature love. Mimi - if you ever read this, I encourage you to read The Wisdom of Anxiety, by Sheryl Paul (which deals with relationship anxiety) and Mating in Captivity, by Esther Perel (which talks about balancing novelty and safety in a relationship). Sending love.
Are you preparing for a divorce yourself ? Talking to all these divorced women and the nonsense they talk about … “Conscious expansion”…? Should I call eating my breakfast “transforming physical void to physical and mental satisfaction”?
For this huge transition to happen less than a year or whenever “last January” happened to be that she could not fathom this would be her life says it all. To just having renewed their vows to completely getting a divorce in such a short time seems in my opinion abrupt. Seeing Valeria’s pained face listening to the whole thing also is telling and I really hope that this doesn’t give others the okay to let intuition and all the other (non sense) things she spoke about any justification. I don’t really care about this Mimi but please Valeria don’t pick up on this type of thinking. Your platform is better than this nonsense!
I was praying for this too😊
I’m truly listening with an open heart and trying to understand her Reasoning. As a women that left a marriage that was very bad, I could only wish and pray to have a man that according to her is wonderful and fantastic… I’m struggling to get this. This makes me wonder if feminism and not “needing a man” we can do it all and get better is ultimately hurting us…I never thought we need to stay in love but grow from respect, friendship, kindness and providing a safe home for our children… what happened to those values?
Exactly what I was thinking! Been through a very toxic relationship that the 'cuddling, holding hands and candles over deep conversation dinners' she mocks sound like a dream.
Now, I fully understand just because we wish for these basics doesn't mean she can't wish for more, but I have a strong feeling that her only reason is that she now wants to explore a more sexual life and that's why her answers are always vague.
Still wonder if she will actually manage to keep another long relationship since she will inevitably lose romantic love to the next partner.
Feminism has swung to the other extreme for a while now. It's not a good sign if you're a middle-aged woman and you can't seem to find the perfect man for you (if that's what you want and you've been dating around for years). Women's expectations these days are ridiculous and dating in general has become so fickle and shallow. People need to learn to compromise again and choose battles. And the romantic movie love stories are not reality; once you've been in a relationship for over a decade like I have, you know it's not about feeling madly in love anymore, it's about feeling at home, comfortable and safe with your partner.
This has nothing to do with feminism. She is not, and never has been. By contrary, she has been in a very conservative and heteronormative relationship, with a tradicional dynamic. Even with this separation she is appelling to those pathriarcal values. She is capitalizing this chapter of his life as usual. In every response she is name dropping products, of his own or others. Feminism is about erradicating opression and injustice in a sexist society. Not about individualism and shallowness, as the Ikkon couple. She is like a hippie Carrie Bradshow character, that kind of get bored in a relationship. That is simple.
Someone who can talk about a 16 year marriage separation with such ease and with a bright smile, probably never felt true romantic love for their partner. She often mentioned how Alex pursued her and she wasn't that crazy about him. This happens often when young women get into long term relationships with the good-guy because what they are looking for is safety. Mimi is unauthentic, she mostly quotes therapists and books, which is good information, but she never opens her heart to us. I have followed her and Alex for a long time and she's always been like that. Nonetheless, I am happy she made this decision and I hope she finds that true love we all deserve :)
I'm also confused by Mimi. She's always portrays the most perfect life ever no matter what happens. That's the opposite of authentic unless her life really is uniquely special.
Yes! That's what I think and I always felt that from her side. She wasn't into him in the first place.
Agree. Cause if she was romantically into him she’d know she can get that back with some work. It was never there for her.
This is extremely childish, couldn’t continue listening to her “authentic” reasoning to leave a perfectly good marriage because she doesn’t feel romantically in love with her husband!! Guess what this is what it feels like when you are in long-term relationship. Love takes another shape and form, it’s not possible nor healthy to be infatuated and crazy in love with your partner after all these years!
What you’re promoting to women is false image of healthy relationship with yourself and with your partner.
Exactly! She has a huge platform and promoting this false idea of this fantasy relationship is a disservice to women.
@@Maha88815 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 EXACTLY! You need women on here that have been married long enough to know this is the biggest bunch of bull. We have a brain, an intellect , and a will . Do your own homework girls!!
Agreed
@@alicekapolas3210 So true. I have been happily married for 28 years and I think she is delusional but too arrogant to see or admit it.
Mimi feels like fake light now…
Valeria - you are such a lovely and wise person. When it comes to romantic love, it doesn’t just vanish. It takes two to tango, if a man doesn’t fully “see” “hear” his wife - women tend to withdraw from the relationship. It’s a very slow process - men always find it a shock….but the breakdown was drip feeding all along. It’s not easy - but a life well lived in honesty is better than secretly being so unhappy (and slowly dying inside). Marriage is hard - it takes a LOT Of work - and sometimes, the presence of a child breaks down a relationship which didn’t have a strong foundation to start. It’s really hard. Wishing her the best.
I hope Mimi uses that Better Help code 😅
I used to watch Mimi and Alex before they even had Alexa. They always gave this picture of perfection in relation to their life and marriage. I am surprisingly not shocked that the marriage is ending. We live in a world of social media where unrealistic and even false narratives are fed to today's generation. I agree with her about talking to your spouse about the fact that you don't feel the love anymore rather than cheating. on your spouse. If she thinks that the heart break is lessened because they talked about her feelings is absolutely not true. This nonsense about "conscious separation", "self sacrifice" and "authenticity and other made up social awareness crap is so fake and false. She is not being honest at all. The biggest disturbing red flag is how she only talks about her new awareness, but nothing about Alexa. She is not just destroying her marriage, but also everything important and safe for that little girl. Make no mistake this will have an everlasting effect on that child and how she views relationships. Do not be overly impressed by this woman Valeria!
I wonder what would have happened if they found a really great couples therapist…
I am sure they've considered it being in the space of happiness and being aware of therapy as she mentioned in different interviews.
I question the definition and understanding of love that is presented here.
To me, Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
She clearly hasn’t grown up. The concept of forever romantic love is like the Santa Clause. She should have read between the lines and learn that there is more to a marriage than the romance stuff. Her aging was somewhat fruitless.
I feel like Mimi always followed suit… Alex is the groundbreaker in the family, with higher values, self-devoted, hard-worker. Mimi started and continues wanting to be an it-girl. Nothing bad, though the fakeness is tangible. The sad thing is how people trust others who just make money on them, whatever values they present and promote.
You don’t have to always resonate and understand someone else’s situation to empathize and acknowledge that they’re human and imperfect. She’s not claiming she has it all together ppl just assume.
There’s no “one right answer” that applies to everyone, and I’m glad that Mimi is making the choice that feels right to her. No one knows herself or her life or her calling better than she does, folks
@@alohagirrl You’re WRONG! Get a dictionary and look up the words commitment, & covenant. This isn’t a game . Your messing with people’s lives.
They have a child. "Doing what "feels" right" is not a good enough reason to break up a child's stability and home. 🤷♀️
Never knew divorce was so hilarious!
Never liked Mimi. She always seemed not genuine. People who are happy don’t say “I’m happier” people who are miserable will always want to prove to everyone they are fine. Mimi has always tried to look like she’s happy. She not
I followed them both when they were at the beginning. She always seemed self-absorbed and fake. It's great to be confident, but this is a woman who doesn't realise how lame it is that she's twirling and dancing alone online. A lot of people do that, no problem, but she doesn't seem genuine - not just a bit.
Allow me to say mimi ,, you are the most uncomfortable, not authentic,,not genuine person I have ever listened to!
You didn’t even mention Alexa one time , her feelings , her heart , it was all about you.
very sad to listen to all this selfishness.
She is a narcissist
Gosh. Nothing is 'so so beautiful' here. Ending a 16 year relationship with 'the most amazing man' to explore what else is out there? Woke bullsh... Was it a loveless marriage? drifted apart? then say so! Marriage is serious and there must be a very serious reason to end one. Something so grave that it is unforgivable, unforgettable or/and unfixable.
Sorry but she is gonna regret it, maybe not now, but perhaps once her partner has found someone serious, the reality hits...I mean why throw a good relationship? If she wants to work on herself and her authenticity, she can still do it while in the relationship..You don't just wake up and leave a long term good relationship because u think you have lost the spark....sigh
It's hard to find a good relationship nowadays...if you are in it, and lost the spark, work on it...unless it's toxic, then it's a whole other story
@@manal6352 goes both ways, I'm not blaming anyone...
Tia Mowry also made the same mistake by ruining her current relationship, thinking she would have a better life or find a better partner, but she’s regretting it now.
I think most of you are jealous of Mimi. She does what men do every day. She chose herself! As an immigrant black woman I totally understand and respect her choice. She inspires me! I think she did what she wished her mom and sister did. She did great for her and her daughter.
Why is the "immigrant black woman" relevant here 🤣
@@CelineMitchell it is for me Karen :)
I think what is polarizing about Mimi is that she comes across as condescending and inauthentic in her answers. Maybe it’s just my gut here, but from reading the comments we all feel the same.
What is truly inspiring is seeing so many women in the comments who are still fighting for family values that we were taught before all of this new age /woke "conscious" living.
Pretty soon these conscious living people are going to start preaching multiple people in the "marrige" is a conscious decison. Like at what point do you stop?
100% !! Had the exact same thought . This made me so happy. Especially because I teach Gods laws for faith family and financial freedom. Its SO inspiring and hopeful.
Did someone even hear when she mentioned that they got together when they were 20-21?? listening to their story from all the other platforms before and following them for years I do understand that at this age when they got together they were FULLY focused on building the career. And probably because of that they did not have experienced the normal young people life - dating, parties, finding themselves as individuals ALONE. Its normal then that after being so long together since so young age you do start to think - did I experience my life fully? its still an experience of life, different emotions, feelings, butterflies, different stories of getting to know other people in romantic way. And even if it is also about being intimate with other persons then why not? how else you would explore and find out things that you like? Why to get older and lose this precious time that is now and regret after? nobody will give you a medal for being with just one person until the end of life. Yes its cute story to have but why to regret not experiencing life fully with and without having a partner? just think.
Yes I understand the part of “but they showed how you can work on your relationship and what the REAL love is” - about this I agree that this was too much and now looking as fake. This part I get it and im not even going to argue about it.
after a 16yo beautiful relationship as she says, and a daughter, I think the most authentic feeling so close to breakup would be respect for that journey and not constant laughing / amusement about how things turned out. But thats just my opinion. Either she doesnt care or she is hidding her feelings.
Yes, I am just reading the comments as I couldn't continue listening to this cringe interview
This is Self Sabotage
Hi Valeria!! I’m happy to see you doing another podcast vlog ❤
❤❤❤ thanks for watching!!
Why is this even given a platform?
Romantic relationship oftentimes evaporates after several years or decades of marriage. Does it mean that you have to move on every time you don’t feel the romance in a couple? 🤔
I'm not sure about this one Valeria....I couldn't even finish watching her....seemed like she doesn't know what love is.
Oh...where is the fun and joyful Mimi from Luxy Hair times? Here I see a self absorbed and extremely controlled preacher. What happened?
I think she's always been like that, but was good at hiding it
One thing that is such a red flag that Mimi has repeated in multiple interviews is about how "oh you let things go instead of being honest and someone ends up cheating" basically saying if she hasn't have broken off the relationship she would have ended up cheating eventually. That's a major red flag.
This also feels like a very priviledge and rich conversation. Like "oh I wasn't happy and my most full self living in my new york penthouse so I needed to travel the world full time to find myself" type of scenario. Like really? This is the life of privileged and rich. 🤷♀️
A measure of codependency is necessary fot good relationships (friendships, romantic, communial) vs an unhealthy level.
I saw that too. But I thought she meant, Alex cheated. I mean he is always travelling without her. So it’s highly likely he cheated and not her as she is always taking care of her kid
it would be interesting to do a video/podcast where you see how personalities interact in their relationships (couple, parenting, friendship, etc.) based on their MBTI, which is what Jake was commenting in one of the shorts saying he is a Campaigner /ENFP and has a similar personality with you. I suppose you would have the intuitive and feeling functions in common, which is why you are on the same page :)
I don’t think she is honest! There is more to it. What kind of a woman will leave the “perfect” marriage, broke a family, broke a little girls heart just because she is not romantically inlove? Such a selfish act! She is a mom. Poor Alexa!
Yeah sure because men do it every time 😅
Very interesting so true in many ways,
A Question,c
Did you try to live this new expansion with Alex?
It seems you together can talk about issues,so why not grow together?
It's amazing how women in the comments judge Mimi for choosing to experience love and growth out of the relationship. Patriarchy has conditioned women to tie their worth to men, children, and home and now I am happy to see that we go back to our primal needs to be free, wild, to explore, not to settle, and to enjoy life and pleasure. To let go and to trust God is the ultimate lesson we need to learn. Thank you Mimi and Valeria 🙏
Feminism has rotted your brain
@@HungarianRepublic So you think it's normal that her husband was always travelling and letting her dealing with there daughter alone, he is selfish
It takes a lot of courage and a lot of trust in life, not only in yourself. 🙌✨
I’ve been watching Mimi since Luxy hair days. I personally had to stop following her and Alex because I truly did not believe the love went both ways. I think she married her best friend and she was excited for life, but I don’t think she was attracted nor in love with Alex…
A warning for Mimi - there are two forces in the world: good and evil. How do you know the „gut feeling” you keep referring to is coming from good or from evil? Are listening to right „advisors”?
Can you elaborate? I have always thought gut feeling can only be good.
I love you both! I admire you both! Thanks Valeria for putting this interview together as I’ve been waiting to hear more from Mimi. I like her so much but her separation was really shocking to me! This conversation was needed for us who follow Mimi, thank you!
Thank you for interviewing Mimi! Mimi, thank you for your vulnerability and courage to share your experience. I love that you are living your life where you honor your intuition and I get a glimpse of what life can look like when you do so! I'm excited for all that is on your way!!
Loved the episode! Thank you
I’d say that the affirmation said about abandonment is not effective in the long run as friends and people around you can easily leave you. In my humble opinion, affirmations shouldn’t be connected with others but only with your own self (e.g., “I am worthy of love and connection”, “I am complete and whole within myself”, “I release the past and embrace the present moment with an open heart”, “I attract healthy, loving and supportive relationships” in the context of abandonment). However, I truly believe the affirmations should be tailored to ones needs and story. :-)
I love Mimi sharing her story and mentioning the sisterhood with other women.It's such a beautiful thing and very inspiring especially for women who are afraid to leave behind relationships that no longer support them in their future lives.
I think she is going through perimenopause or menopause and she left a perfect relationship..instead of waiting.
Thanks for being so honest Mimi, I've followed you and Alex for years on UA-cam, and have always admired you both and your relationship. I'm not going to give an opinion because I don't think I have the right to give an opinion on someone else's life and their choices. But it does make me deeply sad when so many children come from broken homes, the world over now. When you are a parent, it's not just your feelings, it's the childs too. Valeria, you are always so eloquent and you speak with such intelligence in a gentle way, always such wisdom. Thank you both for an interesting interview and to you Mimi for being so honest.x 🦋🌸
Listening to your feelings most always leads to expansion. I believe that's true. But I like how Teal Swan pointed out in one of her videos that it doesn't mean it will always lead to pleasant experiences or outcomes. The underlying lesson could easily be that by solely focusing on your feelings and breaking up your family, you can lose the love of your life and end up regretting it for the rest of your life even if you have another great love. That's why it's dangerous to always blindly follow your feelings. Though most people, myself included, sometimes do just that. Watching this interview, I'm making a conclusion that trusting your feelings doesn't always have to mean blindly follow your feelings. Feelings are feedback that we get. But I guess we should first think about the nature and the cause of these feelings, and only then think of all possible solutions. Because if there's some trauma or insecurity within, then changing partners won't help, but only make the issue bigger and more painful. I'm not judging Mimi. I feel sad at the thought she might regret she'd rushed with her decision. When something meaninful comes to an end, it's always sad. Their separation doesn't make any sense. But I hope it all works out great in the end.
Valeria, Mimi, thank you for putting this conversation out into the world.. it is pure gold. I've watched many interviews with Mimi talking about this topic recently but this one hit differently. Valeria, thanks for cutting the fluff and going deeeep from the beginning. The topics you talked about, sisterhood, self-sacrifice and intuition (among others) resonated so much with me at this point in my life. I have been considering leaving my partner for some time but have been struggling with the constant battle between my brain's logic and the way my heart, and my gut feel. Thank you for reminding me of the power and knowing I hold inside my body, and how important connecting to my feminine essence and sexuality truly is! Ps. I'll be turning 36 in November! There are no coincidences. Thank you again, you are both inspiring. Much love from Montreal, Canada.
Sad to see another marriage end but I always remember that everyone deserves to be happy. I am also divorced so I’m not judging- it just still makes me sad.
Agree. What’s the point of an oath and covenant if you don’t stay and work like promised at the altar. If it’s not abusive, it’s just”feelings”, I think there’s some selfishness in there, but there’s also strength. I relate to be married at 21 and now I’m 55, we are different people now but still love each other and committed. I understand what she means by its more loving to leave than stay if you don’t love your partner romantically. He deserves that too
Great interview questions, a wonderfully open conversation - I drew a lot of inspiration and ideas from it which will definitely help me to cope with my heartbreak/ separation. Thank you both very much! ❤🙏🏻
I stopped following her after they shared her birth story, they both sounded delusional and Alex is so controlling. I'm surprised they lasted that long.
Like you I stopped watching them after that video and their beliefs surrounding Covid. I don’t think they’ll ever reveal the reason why they broke up but it’s apparent. I wish them the best.
oh yes, I remember that! Mimi was struggling and wanted to proceed to the C-section, but Alex was denying it wanting the child to come "naturally". Such a BS
Thank you Mimi and Valeria for Such a vulnerable and beautiful interview. I took so many gems from this conversation ❤
To trust your gut and heart over your brain sometimes is wrong. For example if your gut is telling you to end your marriage instead of commit, fight for it and reinvent in order to not only be loyal to your commitment but also give your daughter a healthy home then your gut is wrong and you need to trust your brain, eventually with work and compromise that “feeling” will go away.
I'm happy for you, Mimi, but in my opinion, in a marriage that has lasted for 10 or 15 years, the key elements that remain are commitment and responsibility. Over time, the nature of love evolves, and certain aspects become more prominent. The relationship's foundation is built on mutual support and managing shared responsibilities such as finances, household duties, and raising children. Couples often develop a shared vision for their family, establishing long-term goals, values, and priorities that guide their decisions and actions. Maintaining mutual respect and admiration for each other’s strengths and achievements strengthens the bond, even as the initial excitement may mature into a deeper companionship marked by trust and understanding. There is a natural evolution in love within marriages.
Valeria, could we invite guests who exemplify commitment, collaboration, and resilience in marriage? This would provide young viewers with inspirational role models, demonstrating that lasting happiness in a relationship is achievable.
1. I hope that this book coming has better editing, grammar and a logical concept unlike her Bingo Theory book.
2. She must hate her family because everything is “my friends my friends” nothing is about my family.
3. After watching 3 of her vlogs I knew she was going to leave Alex because she only used him to become a millionaire. Her attitude in his vlogs vs her vlogs were different. She had a bad attitude in his vlogs and in hers she had a fake nice attitude.
4. She most likely resents Alexa because she can’t travel as much as she did prior to having her.
5. People please don’t take any advice from this woman she’s demonic. She’s extremely selfish and self centered. She won’t be a gift to anyone, she will be a nightmare. Alex looks a lot better now than he did when they were together.
I forgot to add that she is a liar because her nanny’s name was Natasha.
Don't judge her. If she didn't feel it anymore then should she force herself ? Obviously no. She made a good choice, now alex also has an opportunity to find someone who will love him in a way she couldn't.
Can anyone recommend a few good reads on attachment theory??
Attached, by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller is a good one.
Can't wait for the book! I have been following Mimi and Alex since they started YT for Luxy Hair. Shocked by the negative comments on here. Live and let live
I love listening to your podcasts. Love from India ❤
So happy to hear you’re enjoying them ❤️🥹 Sending so much love!!
She explained it, i am not anymore attractive to my husband so i deside to seperate. If sex en intimity stops then stops everything, i understand her.
I guess the entire relationship was a sexless relationship which both parties accepted at the time, and then Mimi changed her mind?
No parent wants his/ her child to suffer and make unnecessary sacrifices, but life happens sometimes. Sometimes you don’t get to choose what circumstances you are in. Every parent who genuinely loves his/ her child would choose to sacrifice him- or herself for his/ her child. That is called love in case you’ve never really experienced it so far , because you’re too busy thinking about yourself
all voices are not necessarily the right voices to listen to especially when it comes to your marriage
I don’t believe there isn’t a third person involved… she seems to have just switched her focus and attraction to another man before the divorce