I also got pregnant at 19 and gave birth shortly before my 20th birthday. I felt the doctors/nurses were just so frustrated with me instead of trying to be understanding with someone young who was in a manipulative and abusive marriage. They all seem to think it's our fault and our choice when it soooo often is not. This is 100% something that needs to be TAUGHT in nursing/medical school.
I don't understand that. My sister-in-law was treated badly while giving birth because the nurses thought she was a teenager. Only after they found out she was 24 they started to treat her with respect. Unfortunately, it was after the delivery.
hey...I am 66 years young, orthodox my whole life and just the last 2 years feeling rebellious and sooo tired of all the thousands of orthodox rules I have had to live with...Sooo refreshing to hear my thoughts spoken OUT LOUD.. FINALLY...
I love listening to her. She is kind and calm, she takes her time explaining things and she is so respectful. Its fascinating. I wish her all the best. All the love and joy and happiness 💕
I didn’t grow up in the same religion. I grew up in the Deep South where southern Baptist was life. I went to multiple different OBGYN’s and at the age of 35 after years and years of hormone, endometriosis, miscarriages, and more medical issues. It took me having a total mental breakdown for the doctor to grant me permission for a hysterectomy. But the kicker was my husband had to approve. He did of course but it was ridiculous. Luckily my husband supports me with my bodily autonomy. He said it’s whatever I want. But now looking back I am like why did I have to fight that hard for the right to be okay.
It’s heart wrenching I’m so sorry you went through that abuse and were denied basic rights of your bodily autonomy 💔😢 Thank you for sharing your experience 🙏 It helps people feel less alone in their own life if they were violated
Im a preschool director at an orthodox synagogue, and I’ve never hidden my queerness. I find it most important for the girls who intern for a year to see me in a leadership role with a family of my own so that whatever narrative they have can be changed by knowing me. It’s hard at times, but seems so worth it to show what a Jewish life outside of orthodox life could look like.
Beautiful interview/conversation. Many valuable points and smart words said. I enjoyed it! Speaking up and acting for people that don’t know choices exist and the courage to step through hoops on all sides. I was 26 when my son was born. A young male Dr from Nigeria delivered him via ventouse and stitched me up after. This was in Australia. I had been in labour for 30 hrs by that point and my body was traumatised and shaking. He asked me to stop doing that. Many years later I think of this audacity... He stitched me up way too tight also. The second audacity. Young women in vulnerable situations need guidance and protection. We need empathetic and emotional smart, trauma informed medical staff. Thanks again for the great interview!
Shelise, this was such an excellent follow up - and thank you Sara for coming back! This conversation made me think about how we know that exhaustion and sleep deprivation is used to prevent people from critical thoughts and open them up to cult mindset. I wonder if anyone has looked into the relationship of new parents and cult habits. It seems to me that many people who grew up in high control groups often lose their instinct to rebel after marriage/children - at least for a time. Also we have heard from people who had parents fall into cults while looking for community or a safe way to raise their children. Idk if anyone knows more but a general discussion could be a great episode!
I'm so proud to be a small part of this with you AMAZING women. I am seriously considering starting my own channel very soon. We have to start speaking up and standing up together. I love you beautiful women. Thank you so much, both of you are doing AMAZING work. So very important. Sending all my love and light ❤❤❤
Thank you for bringing Sara back, I love listening to both of you. I hope to see more of these important discussions of how cults use pregnancy and childbirth to keep you unable to think for yourself or prioritize yourself. The doctors and nurses really need to do better at offering birth control options to everyone.
Amazing! We need more kind ppl like you in this world 💗💗💗 Btw I’m so glad Sara mentioned about reviews on the audiobook because i didn’t remember to do that and I SO loved listening to her book in her own words in her own voice! It was an experience i cannot describe ❤️
We don't know you personally but we know you.we see you. Alot of us are you and you remind us that its okay to not only gain our own freedom but to talk about the things we were taught so hard not to.Thank you for being vulnerable and allowing us to feel like a safe space to have these conversations.
26:32 "do it not because you want to get a great reactions. Do it because people need to know those choices exist". That part!!! I love the way you said that. Being an ally isn't about "you" as the ally. It's about being there to support the marginalized. Thank you for your advice!
Sarah, I am so inspired by you--your strength and courage, the clarity with which you articulate, and your compassion. I read your book in one sitting and it is beautifully written and spoke to me very deeply. In terms of the issues brought up in this video: Speaking as a therapist, myself I know that some of our training focused on "cultural competence" and respecting our clients' culture. I wonder if the pendulum has swung to the point where respect for culture translates into disrespect for a client's (or patient's) individual rights. Shelise had a guest on her show a few months ago who came from a fundamentalist Muslim background. It might have been Yasmin Mohamed, but I can't swear that Yasmin was the one who told the following story: She was living in Canada at the time and she was being abused at home. In her early teens, she went to the authorities--perhaps the police--and reported what was happening to her. She was told by a judge that the court couldn't do anything to protect her because "that's your culture." I might be mangling the story a little, but that's the general idea. It's a terrible and appalling story and it sounds like something similar is happening in the medical realm, as you described. That said, I think there is a lot of confusion among medical and mental health professionals, who are walking a tightrope between "respect for the client's culture/religion" and offering a choice that might run counter to the religion/culture. But it sounds as though the professionals who treated you weren't making a thought-out choice coming from ethics, but were reacting from reflex, from an assumption. And I agree that this has to change. I wonder if, as a therapist, you'd consider writing about this in an ob/gyn journal? I have a few suggestions and would be happy to contact you separately about them. I am a writer and I've written for ob/gyn journals. I think this could be a very valuable contribution to the lives of many women. Thanks again for coming on and sharing your story and thanks to Shelise for hosting you and for her great questions, as always.
Just wanted to add, i loved the initial interview and looking forward to this. I did a theology & philosophy degree so love learning about world religions. It’s been so enlightening watching C2C over the last year or so x
thank you for this conversation! I am a modern orthodox jew and I dont know all the intracacies of the ultra orthodox community. As someone living in a community that also keeps jewish law but also allows for equality/choice for women i am sad to hear the laws/religion twisted and corrupted in a way that is abusive. there is of course corruption of the laws in modern orthodoxy as well and some control of women, but not to this extent. it would be interesting to have an interview with a person from modern orthodoxy and a person from ultra orthodoxy to compare their experiences and show how modern orthodoxy allows for choice, but also some similarity in how both try to control. thank you!
Looking forward to hearing more from you Sarah! The first interview was incredible, and now I’m halfway through Kissing Girls on Shabbat, and it’s brilliant ❤ Thankyou Shelise and Sarah 👏🏻
I’m appreciating this video so much, as a nurse. I’m still finishing my bachelor which I will obtain this coming May and I graduated with my RN in 2023. So I can tell you that we are really taught, even almost indoctrinated, in nursing school to have so much respect for cultural preferences, but the feminist in me knows better than to trust too much. I trust women much more. The really sad thing though is that now that laws are changing, we may not even be able to lean on the “secular” government for the support to give women true choices, religious or not. It might just be against the law and then what to do? I will be fighting tooth and nail until then thought best believe. Thank you for sharing and so much love to you both. 💖
I finished Sara's book last night, she reads it too. I also like her calm voice, there is almost something ASMR about it. I have to give 5 stars on the book. It was so well written, well told it really is feel good ending at the end of the day. I couldnt be happier for her that she is living her authentic life. Bravo! Go listen everyone!
Growing up Jewish and understanding the different sects of Judaism, some of your details were a bit shocking and sad. You are so inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story! ❤
I'm confused about how the doctors were able/willing to talk to the rabbis. Isn't that a huge HIPA violation? Do the women sign a form giving the doctor permission to talk to the rabbi or the rabbis wife? That is so disturbing to me how little autonomy is given to women in the hasidic community and other religious groups.
A good doctor with a correct moral cumpas would defend any patient to a rabbi or other influential person in society in complete confidentiality. I empathise with your experience and wish you love and light
Sorry about the comment above if it was aggressive anger as a licensed m.AC worker and a professional license caretaker for adults with special needs in the medical field.Anger just flew all over me just now with her saying that they will often tell the rabbi or the rabbi's wife, Vital personal medical information without direct conseit's.Given by the woman that is a Violation of the law of your privacy of your rigit makes me very angry. I work with individuals who have to be instructed weakly on their rights because they are individuals that are mentally handicapped. And we pressed that upon them field I work in. So that they understand all of their rights are just the same as everybody else's.And the fact that these people in these ultra-orthodox communities or high pressure.Religions do not even realize that they are medically protected from those violations.Just floors me As a therapist and a social worker,, And mandated reporter. I would help. I would hope that a therapist in the State of New York would be taught what hipaa laws are and I'm sure she knows now bit in her case too little too late .. But for anyone else in the comments that live in high pressure, religions or in communities like this that do not know those are your rights federally when it comes to medical information regarding yourself.
Love C2C! I listen to all the episodes. I really appreciate Dr. Sara's advice on how to manage risk to your job while maintaining your morals/values/obligations. As a college professor, this resonated with me. Although this situation isn't as high stakes as those described in Sara's two interviews, I have to decide if I should formally charge someone with academic dishonesty knowing I'll probably receive bad ratings on Rate My Professor, institutional course evals, etc.
Eternally grateful to one of our physicians who wasn’t afraid to go toe to toe with husbands who always wanted to defer to the rabbi. He was always insistent that the laws weren’t meant to harm and that the health of the baby and mom were paramount.
I read Claudia’s comment as offering choice - ie the choice of birth control / medication etc. I didn’t read it as not protecting women / children / males even that are in danger / at risk etc 17:24
Yes! Indeed @shelise and Sara are doing so much good with this it is immeasurable!!! The thousands of people’s lives that can get better through awareness and support is far greater than we can imagine 🙏
This is a great conversation and eye-opening. Excuse my ignorance of this question if it's insensitive. Did/do the HIPAA laws not apply in these communities? Or are women made to sign the release of confidentiality waivers at the beginning of their relationships with these medical professionals?
I want to applaud her for sharing her story and experience, this is a very brace thing to do. I also would like to say that it is wrong to expect that one person is going to save a person, child from all the harm and damage being visited upon him or her. Religious orders are extremely powerful, calling the malpractice insurance and the supervisor may sound like a possible solution but not for a single mother, the breadwinner in a family, anybody at all depending on an income. Lawsuits filed by these religious orders or organizations are won hands down. She said it that medical personnel are aware of the arrangements between them and rabbis, how then can one individual take it upon his self to defy the powerful system in place? This is similar to states that currently attempt to incarcerate di
I'm glad to listen to Sara again, I live in Israel in an Artist community in the Negev Desert with a very orthodox Yeshiva too. It is so wonderful to see some women, who slowly change their dress, remove the head dress and integrate into our society and flourish. Not to say, that some of the women in the orthodox community also flourish.
@@Durga695 I am confused. Does your dati or haredi community include artists AND a yeshiva? Or are they two SEPARATE communities, that is, a hiloni artist community and another dati/haredi community that has a yeshiva?
To Sara Glass: the fact that your doctor was Italian-American doesn't mean he wasn't a Jew. Italy has a well established Jewish community, and once in the 1930's anti-Jewish racial laws were enforced by the Fascist government quite a few Italian Jews made their way to the US.
@@stephenfisher3721 1. It's Italian-American, not Italian. Italians are the citisens of Italy. 2. Have you heard of late Nobel prize Rita Levi Montalcini? She was Italian and Jewish. There is no contrast between the two identities, besides the Italikim community is deeply integrated in Italy, to the point of not being recognisable (which is one of the reasons why "only" around 8500 Italians of Jewish origin were killed in the Shoah).
@@alicetwain Sara Glass says "Italian guy" . I understand that you want to comment about Jews from Italy but I think it is not relevant. To the Hasidic mindset, the world is divided into Jews and non-Jews. The Jews of Germany were also very assimilated. In fact, many German Jews thought Hitler was speaking against the Ostjuden, Orthodox Jews from Poland who had immigrated to Germany after World War I. They couldn't imagine that Hitler was against the long established German Jews who spoke perfect German and had fought for the Fatherland. But the Nazis of Germany considered Jews as a race to be exterminated. The Italian fascists approached the Jewish question differently but when the Germans occupied Italy, they implemented their aggressive approach. For example, Primo Levi was taken to Auschwitz. Before World War II, Eastern European Jews typically made fun of Yekkes (German Jews) for their promptness as opposed to Hasidim being habitually tardy. Even today this characterization lingers. When Hasidim talk among themselves, the German Jew is a German (or yekke) but when speaking to non-Jews, the German Jew is a Jew. Likewise, with the Hasidim's description of a person of Italian descent. The Hasidim in New Jersey would want to know if the doctor was a Jew or not. By calling him "an Italian guy", the Hasidic community knew he was not Jewish. New Jersey is filled with many people with Italian ancestry. While it may be more precise to call them Italian-Americans, they themselves typically will use the shorthand description of Italian. It is possible that the Italian-American doctor in New Jersey was a Jew but so assimilated that the Hasidim did not know but next to impossible for a Hasidic community which views everything in terms of Jewish or not Jewish.
Can you get Amanda or Havi and her daughter or some of your guests to go on The Mexico trip. The fun of hanging with them in person can also show us and better understand the person it happened to and give them the support and recognition.
Any person in the medical field has to adhere to HIPPA Laws. And those are federal mandates. That state patient-doctor confidentiality that includes nurses, license midwives , Certified care giving professionals. And certified Mac workers. So the fact that any of those medical professionals disclosing any of your medical information about your period about your uterus, about your pregnancy to a rabbior a rabbi's wifeare breaking a federally mandated law and they can lose their license their practice and even do prison time. I am hearing a lot of HIPPA Violations. Meaning prison time malpractice suits the whole 9 , So if there is anyone in the comments that do not know there are the facts if any of your medical information has ever been shared with anyone outside of a document that you signed that gave them consent to share that medical information there you're right. You're Hippa, rights have been violated.
I interpreted the description of the calls with the rabbi/wife as the rabbi/wife asking the Dr about the women's issues that were disclosed to the rabbi/wife and the rabbi/wife wanting more info about what those symptoms mean/etc. Because that would not involve the Dr sharing any protected information, it would not be a HIPAA violation. That would be very different from calling the Dr and saying Mrs. X is bleeding, can you tell me x y z about what you have written in her medical records (this is indeed a HIPAA violation). But I could also have interpreted this part of the discussion incorrectly!
@@izzyizmyname You have interpreted HIPPA wrong. Unless that woman listed the rabbi and his wife on the form allowing their information to be shared with them, it’s a violation. It doesn’t matter if the patient has a UA-cam channel and has discussed the issue in public. The medical provider cannot disclose their medical information to anyone NOT on that form.
I worked as an early intervention physical therapist in Kiryas Joel and a facility in Williamsburg in the 90s. I got to know some of the women personally. I often wonder if some of them or any of their children have left.Many of those women had a hard life . I was also struck by the lack of parks or playgrounds for the children.
Jewish Orthodox Chassidic here, I’ve had pitocin many times and my husband was in the room with me up until the last minute of delivery. Seeing my hair or uncovered body is not considered immodest for a couple.
@ 9:47 😢 My goodness...this really shows the systematic divide placed in the marriage. Forget the elbows, be there for the mother of your child!!! Heartbreaking.
I am sorry about her story. I just want to point out that this is literally not a reflection of the Orthodox community. This is merely her husband not being supportive or not being educated on what was going on. I personally don't know a single Orthodox couple where the husband decided to wait for so many hours before helping his wife make a decision about medical assistance, specifically in labor. I feel it's important for people to understand that this woman's story is one in a million, because thank G-d the Orthodox community is a beautiful one where most husbands and wives respect each other. My husband has been present at all my births thank G-d. And it's a community where many, many Rabbis understand all medicine and birth control very, very, very well. And sneaking out to go to college also doesn't happen - most women I know have been to college.
I hate to bring politics into this conversation, but I can’t shake the feeling that under the reign of Trump, millions of women will face serious abuses, and the women of this country will have stories just like your brave guest, not having the freedom to decided on our own. The potential for such a reality under his leadership is deeply concerning to me.
Also have you ever watched any of the TikTok content creators one of the ones i see a lot of is Miriam, she is an othodox labour and delivery nurse. I think they are in New York too but seems lovely but also under the ‘spell’ if that makes sense
Choice and control over your own body…body autonomy…such a foreign concept in many states in the current American world…and that doesn’t even take into account an ultra conservative religious upbringing…😢😢
Your stories are heartbreaking. What pains me the most, if it has happened, is there loss of relationship with is Lord? He is our ultimate "go to". Your stories are so sad and horrific. MAN has so much to answer for. I pray for your continued strength, kindness, awakening and your ability to share your stories. Sending so much love to you all and a huge big hug for each and everyone of you. Debs
I'm not sure that the medical evidence shows that epidurals slow contractions or that giving pitocin along with an epidural is standard procedure. I've certainly heard of many women having epidurals without it slowing the labour. Maybe pitocin is given only after a certain amount of time?
Yes I so relate. After my first, I asked my Dr. how long it should take for me to recover, and he, seeing that I'm religious, said, who am I to tell god how fast you should conceive? He would've never told that to his own child. very upsetting. He would've been fine with me having Irish twins at the expense of my health. Of course he would be paid for that second delivery.
My obgyn is a large practice that also serves a lot of orthodox women, and they have signs up in all of the exam rooms concerning chaperones and what they can be present for. I don’t think that’s every orthodox woman’s experience, but I certainly think regardless of your background having a “chaperone ” with you to speak with your gynecologist is a whole other layer of stress and control.
Here in the UK a chaperone can be a female member of staff and any woman can request one for any kind of appointment or procedure. I wonder if in the orthodox community a chaperone is assumed to be a female family member or husband.
I am not going to say that this is right or wrong, but I think that we have demographic groups in this country afraid that the legal system will not believe them if they do have to defend themselves in court. I know a lot of minorities fear it. I also know that people in the majority who have been branded as automatic bigots by birth experience the exact same fear. So we’re left with a toxic culture where no one wants to be the one to stand up and help others because basically no one trusts the system anymore. That perception may not align with reality and I think often it does not. But the perception alone is paralyzing and it sucks and it leaves people in the cold not getting the help they need.
It all depends on the money. The heads of these communities have a lot of money and unfortunately this gives them the opportunity to control their public and also that they are not given access to information and knowledge Build these communities in such a way that they need each other's help in all areas, so this gives the heads of the community (rabbis) power to control the public, and the majority of the public does not know what to do if they leave the community
Since we have HIPAA - it seems these doctors were breaking laws. I am helping my elderly mother and she had to sign documents as did I so I can be privy to her medical info
I see both sides of this…doctors should be giving patients all the options every time. I myself ended up pregnant with my first child because my doctor didn’t give me all the information about the birth control I was on (namely that it was only 80% effective). I found that info out at my six week postpartum visit with my OBGYN when she questioned if I wanted to go back on that one. However, if you were asked about the pitocin and said no, how many times should the medical team bring it up? Especially if your husband made it clear that it was something the rabbi needed to approve, so basically for religious reasons no. I’m not saying I agree with that, but if you’re worried about being sued and have already asked and have been told no on the pitocin I don’t really see that as a failing on the part of your medical team. I do think the risks and potential complications if refusal should have been explained, and if that didn’t happen it’s a failing of the care team. My next question is would it have mattered? If you really believed you needed your husbands consent for these choices would you have defied him? I don’t want to negate the feelings or trauma you went through, because those are absolutely valid (mom of six kids myself and the birth experience can be so traumatizing!). It just seems to me much of the blame should fall on your community for restricting you and your husband at the time and not making you both feel like you were entitled and even capable of making choices.
A medical professional could offer such advice without risk of upsetting patients by simply starting out with, "I respect your values and don't mean to go against them in any way, but, as a medical professional, just in case you might want to know for whatever reason, I just want to make sure you know..."
But her husband is allowed to see her hair and her elbow do it makes no sense when she said her husband did not want to be in the labor room because either might show!
I love these episodes...but I do feel that this woman lacked critical birth info and education and is so hard to hear. I myself as an orthodox Jew feel so blessed and empowered around birth and choices. This was never a halachic issue (Jewish law) and it sounds like it was a health issue in which Jewish law allows whatever is required for the health and wellbeing of mother and baby. I myself had an epidural and pitocin and never would call a Rabbi for this. I am lucky to be health educated. Yes my husband didn't touch me during my labours but I made sure to have physical support with the help of a doula and my husband was in the room for all my births, he was supportive emotionally and stood behind me so it wouldn't be "immodest". Also re birth control the Gemora assumes 2 year breaks between children due to lactation which is a standard leniency. Sorry you had that experience.
I understand that a lot of men prefer to stay near their wife's head while she's giving birth and not seeing it actually happen but how could it be immodest for a husband to see that area of his wife's body?!
@@powderandpaint14 Jewish law advises not to look directly at the vaginal opening (men and women equally are advised to change underwear and clothing in a bathroom or under bed sheets), an orthodox man can look at his wife without clothes and Jewish law demands that there should be nothing between a man and women during intimacy....obviously there is exception for medical purposes and I have had friends that had unexpected home births and their husbands were absolutely allowed to deliver the baby....in any case my husband would have fainted...he can't handle the sight of blood 🤣
Sara Glass Kissing Girls on Shabbat: A Memoir I have no problem finding the book for sale on Amazon (in the United States). Are you outside the United States?
As an orthodox jewish women, I'm so sorry for your experience but alot of your husbands abuse was his own ocd or narcissistic traits, most ppl I know don't consult rabbis about pitocin etc and are actually attentive and respectful to their wives
But his Rabbi of choice also did not behave correctly towards her, didn't allow her to continue on birth control WITHOUT having her needs or wants in mind. So it seems to be not just a problem with her husband. And I hope you also see thst this IS something that is still happening in the community. Good for you you didn't have to go throught that but do not invalidate someone else's experience just because you had it better.
@@irenitele8497 Pointing out that her experience is unique to her in no way invalidates her experience! On the contrary, it highlights just how disturbing and problematic her story is. Many DRs and all Rabbis understand TH and do NOT behave in the ways described in this story. We as "insiders" are better positioned to offer compassionate understanding and condemnation of the behaviors which is exactly what we both did.
@irenitele8497 I'm not invalidating her experience or denied unhealthy and abusive behavior happening, but simply clarifying that this is not an orthodox problem
I didn't have an epidural and I'm not judging anyone that needed one. When I was in the hospital giving birth to my third child I was induced for two days straight my daughter did not want to come. I understand how tired you were.
Isn't it illegal to, without the explicit consent of the patient, tell the rabbi or their wife (or anyone not professionally involved with the patients care at the hospital/clinic) about anything regarding the patients medical status or findings from an examination, tests etc? At least it is in Sweden where I live.
To the social worker Claudia who was more worried about being sued than about someone who may be in danger - please get a different job. A child's life may depend on you, and if you are only focused on yourself, they're screwed.
Religion allows men to institutionalize misogyny and feel justified in the name of God. It’s about power as it is in all religions same as using the Bible to justify slavery .
This cult is so eviserating to a woman’s sacred covenant with creation. May the Ancient One ☝️ lead you on the road to revelation for other women seeking freedom.
Religious Jewish men wear an undergarment called a tallis koten (small prayer shawl) which has an opening for the head. Some people think that Gentiles who saw these garments drying on the clothes line created the distorted story.
@stephenfisher3721 The medieval night gowns are called chemise cargoules. Both men and women wore them. The hole in the prayer shawl is kinda big for you know what.....
So many flaws in that religion. Loved her empathy. I was so grateful to have given birth to girls and not boys so escaped the barbaric practice of circumcision.
@@Serendipity-gj2me Jews practice brit milah for religious reasons. However, the majority of physicians of all faiths in the United States agree that circumcision has many health benefits and that is why circumcision is routinely done in all hospitals in the United States.
She doesn't "feel like she is gay"; she just is gay. A person doesn't get "turned gay" by a life situation. A person is just gay as a fundamental part of their biology/physiology. Born that way.
Not true! It could be from nurture.. she didn't have a very good relationship with her mom... and her mom wasn't very emotionally healthy mom , so yeah that it is a factor for feeling gay..
@@judithfriedman9103 so rude Judith! Again I find a nasty comment from you. No, gay is not from nurture. Please educate yourself you seem to be very uneducated...
This is a complete misrepresentation of the community as a whole. There could be some who have this experience but it is highly unusual. I started my married life there and I have many relatives living there and this is unusual. There is birth control , without it the average family size would be 10 or when the average is 7. The Rabbi does not have that kind of control. Yes there are sometimes that the Rabbi is consulted but not to this extent. Maybe your husband had issues and was not an independent thinker . Saying you had to sneak out of the community for your education not a representation of the community. I have many relatives there who have gotten their master degrees while living there . Many woman and men in the communiy are professionals such as social workers, nurses, speech therapists, occupational therapists, pysicians assistant, nurse practioners, doctors, lawyers, accountants.....What an individual experiences is her experience, not a reason to demean a large community.
Copy paste on all the anti frum videos.... They do add a disclaimer that everyone's situation is unique but that usually gets lost in the wider message. Still, yu have to admit growing up a frum lesbian could not have been easy for her!
Just wanted to add, i loved the initial interview and looking forward to this. I did a theology & philosophy degree so love learning about world religions. It’s been so enlightening watching C2C over the last year or so x
I also got pregnant at 19 and gave birth shortly before my 20th birthday. I felt the doctors/nurses were just so frustrated with me instead of trying to be understanding with someone young who was in a manipulative and abusive marriage. They all seem to think it's our fault and our choice when it soooo often is not. This is 100% something that needs to be TAUGHT in nursing/medical school.
So sorry you had a negative birth experience.
I don't understand that. My sister-in-law was treated badly while giving birth because the nurses thought she was a teenager. Only after they found out she was 24 they started to treat her with respect. Unfortunately, it was after the delivery.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that and I wish you nothing but love and peace in the future you deserve it!
@@magorzatakoak8895
As a doctor, this is a great reminder to provide every patient with all the information, every time regardless of background.
hey...I am 66 years young, orthodox my whole life and just the last 2 years feeling rebellious and sooo tired of all the thousands of orthodox rules I have had to live with...Sooo refreshing to hear my thoughts spoken OUT LOUD.. FINALLY...
I love listening to her. She is kind and calm, she takes her time explaining things and she is so respectful. Its fascinating. I wish her all the best. All the love and joy and happiness 💕
Yes, Sara Glass speaks in a very calm and soothing voice.
I didn’t grow up in the same religion. I grew up in the Deep South where southern Baptist was life. I went to multiple different OBGYN’s and at the age of 35 after years and years of hormone, endometriosis, miscarriages, and more medical issues. It took me having a total mental breakdown for the doctor to grant me permission for a hysterectomy. But the kicker was my husband had to approve. He did of course but it was ridiculous. Luckily my husband supports me with my bodily autonomy. He said it’s whatever I want. But now looking back I am like why did I have to fight that hard for the right to be okay.
It’s heart wrenching
I’m so sorry you went through that abuse and were denied basic rights of your bodily autonomy 💔😢
Thank you for sharing your experience 🙏
It helps people feel less alone in their own life if they were violated
Just here to validate you.🤗
THAT WAS TOTAL B#LLSH!T.
Im a preschool director at an orthodox synagogue, and I’ve never hidden my queerness. I find it most important for the girls who intern for a year to see me in a leadership role with a family of my own so that whatever narrative they have can be changed by knowing me. It’s hard at times, but seems so worth it to show what a Jewish life outside of orthodox life could look like.
Beautiful interview/conversation. Many valuable points and smart words said. I enjoyed it!
Speaking up and acting for people that don’t know choices exist and the courage to step through hoops on all sides.
I was 26 when my son was born. A young male Dr from Nigeria delivered him via ventouse and stitched me up after. This was in Australia. I had been in labour for 30 hrs by that point and my body was traumatised and shaking. He asked me to stop doing that. Many years later I think of this audacity... He stitched me up way too tight also. The second audacity. Young women in vulnerable situations need guidance and protection. We need empathetic and emotional smart, trauma informed medical staff. Thanks again for the great interview!
Such an incredible conversation!! Thank you so much for sharing your story Dr. Glass❤
Shelise, this was such an excellent follow up - and thank you Sara for coming back! This conversation made me think about how we know that exhaustion and sleep deprivation is used to prevent people from critical thoughts and open them up to cult mindset. I wonder if anyone has looked into the relationship of new parents and cult habits. It seems to me that many people who grew up in high control groups often lose their instinct to rebel after marriage/children - at least for a time. Also we have heard from people who had parents fall into cults while looking for community or a safe way to raise their children. Idk if anyone knows more but a general discussion could be a great episode!
I'm so proud to be a small part of this with you AMAZING women. I am seriously considering starting my own channel very soon. We have to start speaking up and standing up together. I love you beautiful women. Thank you so much, both of you are doing AMAZING work. So very important. Sending all my love and light ❤❤❤
Thank you for bringing Sara back, I love listening to both of you. I hope to see more of these important discussions of how cults use pregnancy and childbirth to keep you unable to think for yourself or prioritize yourself. The doctors and nurses really need to do better at offering birth control options to everyone.
Liked. Shared. Commented. Sent the algorithm out to teach medical professionals how to deal with vulnerable communities.
How do you send an algorithm out?
What does it mean to send an algorithm?
Why do you want to send an algorithm?
Amazing! We need more kind ppl like you in this world 💗💗💗
Btw I’m so glad Sara mentioned about reviews on the audiobook because i didn’t remember to do that and I SO loved listening to her book in her own words in her own voice! It was an experience i cannot describe ❤️
We don't know you personally but we know you.we see you. Alot of us are you and you remind us that its okay to not only gain our own freedom but to talk about the things we were taught so hard not to.Thank you for being vulnerable and allowing us to feel like a safe space to have these conversations.
I could be hours and hours listening to Sara, what an inspiring and insightful woman ❤
26:32 "do it not because you want to get a great reactions. Do it because people need to know those choices exist".
That part!!! I love the way you said that.
Being an ally isn't about "you" as the ally. It's about being there to support the marginalized. Thank you for your advice!
Sarah, I am so inspired by you--your strength and courage, the clarity with which you articulate, and your compassion. I read your book in one sitting and it is beautifully written and spoke to me very deeply. In terms of the issues brought up in this video: Speaking as a therapist, myself I know that some of our training focused on "cultural competence" and respecting our clients' culture. I wonder if the pendulum has swung to the point where respect for culture translates into disrespect for a client's (or patient's) individual rights. Shelise had a guest on her show a few months ago who came from a fundamentalist Muslim background. It might have been Yasmin Mohamed, but I can't swear that Yasmin was the one who told the following story: She was living in Canada at the time and she was being abused at home. In her early teens, she went to the authorities--perhaps the police--and reported what was happening to her. She was told by a judge that the court couldn't do anything to protect her because "that's your culture." I might be mangling the story a little, but that's the general idea. It's a terrible and appalling story and it sounds like something similar is happening in the medical realm, as you described.
That said, I think there is a lot of confusion among medical and mental health professionals, who are walking a tightrope between "respect for the client's culture/religion" and offering a choice that might run counter to the religion/culture. But it sounds as though the professionals who treated you weren't making a thought-out choice coming from ethics, but were reacting from reflex, from an assumption. And I agree that this has to change.
I wonder if, as a therapist, you'd consider writing about this in an ob/gyn journal? I have a few suggestions and would be happy to contact you separately about them. I am a writer and I've written for ob/gyn journals. I think this could be a very valuable contribution to the lives of many women.
Thanks again for coming on and sharing your story and thanks to Shelise for hosting you and for her great questions, as always.
thank you for returning Sara......I find your story fascinating .
Just wanted to add, i loved the initial interview and looking forward to this. I did a theology & philosophy degree so love learning about world religions. It’s been so enlightening watching C2C over the last year or so x
I agree with the guest's take on care providers putting the patient/client first but it's hard to do it alone as you suffer all the consequences.
Dr Glass took the words right out of my mouth about being sued . I really admire her response to both the SW and the Hasidic women.
thank you for this conversation! I am a modern orthodox jew and I dont know all the intracacies of the ultra orthodox community. As someone living in a community that also keeps jewish law but also allows for equality/choice for women i am sad to hear the laws/religion twisted and corrupted in a way that is abusive. there is of course corruption of the laws in modern orthodoxy as well and some control of women, but not to this extent. it would be interesting to have an interview with a person from modern orthodoxy and a person from ultra orthodoxy to compare their experiences and show how modern orthodoxy allows for choice, but also some similarity in how both try to control. thank you!
Modern Orthodox is Orthodox, she's making stuff up. Ask any chasidic person
Looking forward to hearing more from you Sarah!
The first interview was incredible, and now I’m halfway through Kissing Girls on Shabbat, and it’s brilliant ❤
Thankyou Shelise and Sarah 👏🏻
I’m appreciating this video so much, as a nurse. I’m still finishing my bachelor which I will obtain this coming May and I graduated with my RN in 2023. So I can tell you that we are really taught, even almost indoctrinated, in nursing school to have so much respect for cultural preferences, but the feminist in me knows better than to trust too much. I trust women much more. The really sad thing though is that now that laws are changing, we may not even be able to lean on the “secular” government for the support to give women true choices, religious or not. It might just be against the law and then what to do? I will be fighting tooth and nail until then thought best believe.
Thank you for sharing and so much love to you both. 💖
Loved this reflection!! - It's about individual people, not the cultures and I also "trust women much more"
I finished Sara's book last night, she reads it too. I also like her calm voice, there is almost something ASMR about it. I have to give 5 stars on the book. It was so well written, well told it really is feel good ending at the end of the day. I couldnt be happier for her that she is living her authentic life. Bravo! Go listen everyone!
Growing up Jewish and understanding the different sects of Judaism, some of your details were a bit shocking and sad. You are so inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story! ❤
I'm confused about how the doctors were able/willing to talk to the rabbis. Isn't that a huge HIPA violation? Do the women sign a form giving the doctor permission to talk to the rabbi or the rabbis wife? That is so disturbing to me how little autonomy is given to women in the hasidic community and other religious groups.
It’s usually done either through the husband OR on speaker with the parties present.
This channel is so amazing. It really helps me as a service provider.
Thank you to the brave people who interview and are interviewed
Thank you for being brave and speaking your truth.
A good doctor with a correct moral cumpas would defend any patient to a rabbi or other influential person in society in complete confidentiality. I empathise with your experience and wish you love and light
Sorry about the comment above if it was aggressive anger as a licensed m.AC worker and a professional license caretaker for adults with special needs in the medical field.Anger just flew all over me just now with her saying that they will often tell the rabbi or the rabbi's wife, Vital personal medical information without direct conseit's.Given by the woman that is a Violation of the law of your privacy of your rigit makes me very angry. I work with individuals who have to be instructed weakly on their rights because they are individuals that are mentally handicapped. And we pressed that upon them field I work in. So that they understand all of their rights are just the same as everybody else's.And the fact that these people in these ultra-orthodox communities or high pressure.Religions do not even realize that they are medically protected from those violations.Just floors me As a therapist and a social worker,, And mandated reporter.
I would help. I would hope that a therapist in the State of New York would be taught what hipaa laws are and I'm sure she knows now bit in her case too little too late .. But for anyone else in the comments that live in high pressure, religions or in communities like this that do not know those are your rights federally when it comes to medical information regarding yourself.
My God! You're lucky to have survived the labor of your 2nd pregnancy.
Love C2C! I listen to all the episodes. I really appreciate Dr. Sara's advice on how to manage risk to your job while maintaining your morals/values/obligations. As a college professor, this resonated with me. Although this situation isn't as high stakes as those described in Sara's two interviews, I have to decide if I should formally charge someone with academic dishonesty knowing I'll probably receive bad ratings on Rate My Professor, institutional course evals, etc.
Eternally grateful to one of our physicians who wasn’t afraid to go toe to toe with husbands who always wanted to defer to the rabbi. He was always insistent that the laws weren’t meant to harm and that the health of the baby and mom were paramount.
Love seeing her again.❤
Thank you both 💜
I read Claudia’s comment as offering choice - ie the choice of birth control / medication etc. I didn’t read it as not protecting women / children / males even that are in danger / at risk etc 17:24
Break the silence. Break the cycle.
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Yes! Indeed @shelise and Sara are doing so much good with this it is immeasurable!!! The thousands of people’s lives that can get better through awareness and support is far greater than we can imagine 🙏
Knowledge is power!
Just got the audiobook thanks to this interview! 40:22
This is a great conversation and eye-opening. Excuse my ignorance of this question if it's insensitive. Did/do the HIPAA laws not apply in these communities? Or are women made to sign the release of confidentiality waivers at the beginning of their relationships with these medical professionals?
Don't think this was a HIPAA issue. Her spouse chose to share her medical info with his rabbi
I enjoyed the video, thank you!!
I want to applaud her for sharing her story and experience, this is a very brace thing to do. I also would like to say that it is wrong to expect that one person is going to save a person, child from all the harm and damage being visited upon him or her. Religious orders are extremely powerful, calling the malpractice insurance and the supervisor may sound like a possible solution but not for a single mother, the breadwinner in a family, anybody at all depending on an income. Lawsuits filed by these religious orders or organizations are won hands down. She said it that medical personnel are aware of the arrangements between them and rabbis, how then can one individual take it upon his self to defy the powerful system in place? This is similar to states that currently attempt to incarcerate di
I'm glad to listen to Sara again, I live in Israel in an Artist community in the Negev Desert with a very orthodox Yeshiva too. It is so wonderful to see some women, who slowly change their dress, remove the head dress and integrate into our society and flourish. Not to say, that some of the women in the orthodox community also flourish.
@@Durga695
I am confused. Does your dati or haredi community include artists AND a yeshiva?
Or are they two SEPARATE communities, that is, a hiloni artist community and another dati/haredi community that has a yeshiva?
Wow, never been this early!! 💜
To Sara Glass: the fact that your doctor was Italian-American doesn't mean he wasn't a Jew. Italy has a well established Jewish community, and once in the 1930's anti-Jewish racial laws were enforced by the Fascist government quite a few Italian Jews made their way to the US.
It depends upon the context. In the given context Italian means non-Jewish.
@@stephenfisher3721 1. It's Italian-American, not Italian. Italians are the citisens of Italy. 2. Have you heard of late Nobel prize Rita Levi Montalcini? She was Italian and Jewish. There is no contrast between the two identities, besides the Italikim community is deeply integrated in Italy, to the point of not being recognisable (which is one of the reasons why "only" around 8500 Italians of Jewish origin were killed in the Shoah).
@@alicetwain
Sara Glass says "Italian guy" .
I understand that you want to comment about Jews from Italy but I think it is not relevant.
To the Hasidic mindset, the world is divided into Jews and non-Jews.
The Jews of Germany were also very assimilated. In fact, many German Jews thought Hitler was speaking against the Ostjuden, Orthodox Jews from Poland who had immigrated to Germany after World War I. They couldn't imagine that Hitler was against the long established German Jews who spoke perfect German and had fought for the Fatherland. But the Nazis of Germany considered Jews as a race to be exterminated.
The Italian fascists approached the Jewish question differently but when the Germans occupied Italy, they implemented their aggressive approach. For example, Primo Levi was taken to Auschwitz.
Before World War II, Eastern European Jews typically made fun of Yekkes (German Jews) for their promptness as opposed to Hasidim being habitually tardy. Even today this characterization lingers. When Hasidim talk among themselves, the German Jew is a German (or yekke) but when speaking to non-Jews, the German Jew is a Jew. Likewise, with the Hasidim's description of a person of Italian descent.
The Hasidim in New Jersey would want to know if the doctor was a Jew or not. By calling him "an Italian guy", the Hasidic community knew he was not Jewish.
New Jersey is filled with many people with Italian ancestry. While it may be more precise to call them Italian-Americans, they themselves typically will use the shorthand description of Italian.
It is possible that the Italian-American doctor in New Jersey was a Jew but so assimilated that the Hasidim did not know but next to impossible for a Hasidic community which views everything in terms of Jewish or not Jewish.
The bottom line is that he was not Orthodox. And had he been Jewish -even no practicing- everybody would have known.
Didn't mean to underline, but I cannot edit
Can you get Amanda or Havi and her daughter or some of your guests to go on The Mexico trip. The fun of hanging with them in person can also show us and better understand the person it happened to and give them the support and recognition.
Any person in the medical field has to adhere to HIPPA Laws. And those are federal mandates. That state patient-doctor confidentiality that includes nurses, license midwives , Certified care giving professionals. And certified Mac workers. So the fact that any of those medical professionals disclosing any of your medical information about your period about your uterus, about your pregnancy to a rabbior a rabbi's wifeare breaking a federally mandated law and they can lose their license their practice and even do prison time. I am hearing a lot of HIPPA Violations. Meaning prison time malpractice suits the whole 9 , So if there is anyone in the comments that do not know there are the facts if any of your medical information has ever been shared with anyone outside of a document that you signed that gave them consent to share that medical information there you're right. You're Hippa, rights have been violated.
I interpreted the description of the calls with the rabbi/wife as the rabbi/wife asking the Dr about the women's issues that were disclosed to the rabbi/wife and the rabbi/wife wanting more info about what those symptoms mean/etc. Because that would not involve the Dr sharing any protected information, it would not be a HIPAA violation.
That would be very different from calling the Dr and saying Mrs. X is bleeding, can you tell me x y z about what you have written in her medical records (this is indeed a HIPAA violation).
But I could also have interpreted this part of the discussion incorrectly!
@@izzyizmyname You have interpreted HIPPA wrong. Unless that woman listed the rabbi and his wife on the form allowing their information to be shared with them, it’s a violation. It doesn’t matter if the patient has a UA-cam channel and has discussed the issue in public. The medical provider cannot disclose their medical information to anyone NOT on that form.
I worked as an early intervention physical therapist in Kiryas Joel and a facility in Williamsburg in the 90s. I got to know some of the women personally. I often wonder if some of them or any of their children have left.Many of those women had a hard life . I was also struck by the lack of parks or playgrounds for the children.
Jewish Orthodox Chassidic here, I’ve had pitocin many times and my husband was in the room with me up until the last minute of delivery. Seeing my hair or uncovered body is not considered immodest for a couple.
With HIPPA laws being what they are she should & could sue that doctor and the rabbi 😢
I grew up mormon and i remember i had the same reaction as her when i heard people questioning if they wanted kids. "Wait, that's a choice?"
@ 9:47 😢 My goodness...this really shows the systematic divide placed in the marriage. Forget the elbows, be there for the mother of your child!!! Heartbreaking.
I am sorry about her story.
I just want to point out that this is literally not a reflection of the Orthodox community. This is merely her husband not being supportive or not being educated on what was going on.
I personally don't know a single Orthodox couple where the husband decided to wait for so many hours before helping his wife make a decision about medical assistance, specifically in labor.
I feel it's important for people to understand that this woman's story is one in a million, because thank G-d the Orthodox community is a beautiful one where most husbands and wives respect each other. My husband has been present at all my births thank G-d.
And it's a community where many, many Rabbis understand all medicine and birth control very, very, very well.
And sneaking out to go to college also doesn't happen - most women I know have been to college.
I hate to bring politics into this conversation, but I can’t shake the feeling that under the reign of Trump, millions of women will face serious abuses, and the women of this country will have stories just like your brave guest, not having the freedom to decided on our own. The potential for such a reality under his leadership is deeply concerning to me.
Also have you ever watched any of the TikTok content creators one of the ones i see a lot of is Miriam, she is an othodox labour and delivery nurse. I think they are in New York too but seems lovely but also under the ‘spell’ if that makes sense
Choice and control over your own body…body autonomy…such a foreign concept in many states in the current American world…and that doesn’t even take into account an ultra conservative religious upbringing…😢😢
Your stories are heartbreaking. What pains me the most, if it has happened, is there loss of relationship with is Lord? He is our ultimate "go to". Your stories are so sad and horrific. MAN has so much to answer for. I pray for your continued strength, kindness, awakening and your ability to share your stories. Sending so much love to you all and a huge big hug for each and everyone of you. Debs
I'm not sure that the medical evidence shows that epidurals slow contractions or that giving pitocin along with an epidural is standard procedure. I've certainly heard of many women having epidurals without it slowing the labour. Maybe pitocin is given only after a certain amount of time?
I know that giving an epidural is highly advised when pitocin is being given though due to it making the contractions so much more intense.
Yes I so relate. After my first, I asked my Dr. how long it should take for me to recover, and he, seeing that I'm religious, said, who am I to tell god how fast you should conceive? He would've never told that to his own child. very upsetting. He would've been fine with me having Irish twins at the expense of my health. Of course he would be paid for that second delivery.
My obgyn is a large practice that also serves a lot of orthodox women, and they have signs up in all of the exam rooms concerning chaperones and what they can be present for. I don’t think that’s every orthodox woman’s experience, but I certainly think regardless of your background having a “chaperone ” with you to speak with your gynecologist is a whole other layer of stress and control.
Here in the UK a chaperone can be a female member of staff and any woman can request one for any kind of appointment or procedure. I wonder if in the orthodox community a chaperone is assumed to be a female family member or husband.
Great video
I am not going to say that this is right or wrong, but I think that we have demographic groups in this country afraid that the legal system will not believe them if they do have to defend themselves in court. I know a lot of minorities fear it. I also know that people in the majority who have been branded as automatic bigots by birth experience the exact same fear. So we’re left with a toxic culture where no one wants to be the one to stand up and help others because basically no one trusts the system anymore. That perception may not align with reality and I think often it does not. But the perception alone is paralyzing and it sucks and it leaves people in the cold not getting the help they need.
I wonder if you could bring shamsa araweelo here. I'm not sure whether or not her story would fit the theme of the channel, tho.
It all depends on the money. The heads of these communities have a lot of money and unfortunately this gives them the opportunity to control their public and also that they are not given access to information and knowledge
Build these communities in such a way that they need each other's help in all areas, so this gives the heads of the community (rabbis) power to control the public, and the majority of the public does not know what to do if they leave the community
From what I gathered, Judaism has very little mercy on mothers. Waiting until the rabbi was possibly awake to get this woman some Pitocin? Inhumane.
Since we have HIPAA - it seems these doctors were breaking laws. I am helping my elderly mother and she had to sign documents as did I so I can be privy to her medical info
I see both sides of this…doctors should be giving patients all the options every time. I myself ended up pregnant with my first child because my doctor didn’t give me all the information about the birth control I was on (namely that it was only 80% effective). I found that info out at my six week postpartum visit with my OBGYN when she questioned if I wanted to go back on that one.
However, if you were asked about the pitocin and said no, how many times should the medical team bring it up? Especially if your husband made it clear that it was something the rabbi needed to approve, so basically for religious reasons no. I’m not saying I agree with that, but if you’re worried about being sued and have already asked and have been told no on the pitocin I don’t really see that as a failing on the part of your medical team. I do think the risks and potential complications if refusal should have been explained, and if that didn’t happen it’s a failing of the care team.
My next question is would it have mattered? If you really believed you needed your husbands consent for these choices would you have defied him? I don’t want to negate the feelings or trauma you went through, because those are absolutely valid (mom of six kids myself and the birth experience can be so traumatizing!). It just seems to me much of the blame should fall on your community for restricting you and your husband at the time and not making you both feel like you were entitled and even capable of making choices.
A medical professional could offer such advice without risk of upsetting patients by simply starting out with, "I respect your values and don't mean to go against them in any way, but, as a medical professional, just in case you might want to know for whatever reason, I just want to make sure you know..."
But her husband is allowed to see her hair and her elbow do it makes no sense when she said her husband did not want to be in the labor room because either might show!
I love these episodes...but I do feel that this woman lacked critical birth info and education and is so hard to hear. I myself as an orthodox Jew feel so blessed and empowered around birth and choices. This was never a halachic issue (Jewish law) and it sounds like it was a health issue in which Jewish law allows whatever is required for the health and wellbeing of mother and baby. I myself had an epidural and pitocin and never would call a Rabbi for this. I am lucky to be health educated. Yes my husband didn't touch me during my labours but I made sure to have physical support with the help of a doula and my husband was in the room for all my births, he was supportive emotionally and stood behind me so it wouldn't be "immodest". Also re birth control the Gemora assumes 2 year breaks between children due to lactation which is a standard leniency. Sorry you had that experience.
I understand that a lot of men prefer to stay near their wife's head while she's giving birth and not seeing it actually happen but how could it be immodest for a husband to see that area of his wife's body?!
@@powderandpaint14 Jewish law advises not to look directly at the vaginal opening (men and women equally are advised to change underwear and clothing in a bathroom or under bed sheets), an orthodox man can look at his wife without clothes and Jewish law demands that there should be nothing between a man and women during intimacy....obviously there is exception for medical purposes and I have had friends that had unexpected home births and their husbands were absolutely allowed to deliver the baby....in any case my husband would have fainted...he can't handle the sight of blood 🤣
I just checked Amazon for her book. Where can I get her book?
Sara Glass
Kissing Girls on Shabbat: A Memoir
I have no problem finding the book for sale on Amazon (in the United States). Are you outside the United States?
As an orthodox jewish women, I'm so sorry for your experience but alot of your husbands abuse was his own ocd or narcissistic traits, most ppl I know don't consult rabbis about pitocin etc and are actually attentive and respectful to their wives
agreed
But his Rabbi of choice also did not behave correctly towards her, didn't allow her to continue on birth control WITHOUT having her needs or wants in mind. So it seems to be not just a problem with her husband. And I hope you also see thst this IS something that is still happening in the community. Good for you you didn't have to go throught that but do not invalidate someone else's experience just because you had it better.
@@irenitele8497 Pointing out that her experience is unique to her in no way invalidates her experience! On the contrary, it highlights just how disturbing and problematic her story is. Many DRs and all Rabbis understand TH and do NOT behave in the ways described in this story. We as "insiders" are better positioned to offer compassionate understanding and condemnation of the behaviors which is exactly what we both did.
@irenitele8497 I'm not invalidating her experience or denied unhealthy and abusive behavior happening, but simply clarifying that this is not an orthodox problem
I didn't have an epidural and I'm not judging anyone that needed one. When I was in the hospital giving birth to my third child I was induced for two days straight my daughter did not want to come. I understand how tired you were.
Isn't it illegal to, without the explicit consent of the patient, tell the rabbi or their wife (or anyone not professionally involved with the patients care at the hospital/clinic) about anything regarding the patients medical status or findings from an examination, tests etc? At least it is in Sweden where I live.
This makes me so angry!!! NO PERSON have control over someone else and their bodies. Its your body and you should decide what you want or need.
Doctors disclosing patient information is illegal, regardless if it is the rabbi or husband. Illegal. What is wrong with these doctors---- $?
I had an epidural and it didn’t fully work. I told them and they gave me another one…this was 20 years ago. Just know-you can ask
Do these doctors not respect HIPPA regulations? They should know better and do better.
To the social worker Claudia who was more worried about being sued than about someone who may be in danger - please get a different job. A child's life may depend on you, and if you are only focused on yourself, they're screwed.
I love Sarah. I just do.
Sarah still seems to be in a lot of pain!! Please go heal yoursrlf!
you seem condescending and its not appreciated on this page Judith!
Religion allows men to institutionalize misogyny and feel justified in the name of God. It’s about power as it is in all religions same as using the Bible to justify slavery .
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This cult is so eviserating to a woman’s sacred covenant with creation.
May the Ancient One ☝️ lead you on the road to revelation for other women seeking freedom.
Men in
Failed the brotherhood nothing to do with me.
I’m not going to see this video. But just the title is hilul Hashem.
The "sex through sheet" thing may be a leftover reference to a medieval Catholic practice. Ya know how freaky they were about sex........😏
Religious Jewish men wear an undergarment called a tallis koten (small prayer shawl) which has an opening for the head. Some people think that Gentiles who saw these garments drying on the clothes line created the distorted story.
@stephenfisher3721 The medieval night gowns are called chemise cargoules. Both men and women wore them.
The hole in the prayer shawl is kinda big for you know what.....
@@marydlutes1792
Why would a practice followed by Catholics in the Middle Ages be ascribed to the Orthodox Jews of today?
😂😂😂@marydlutes1792
So many flaws in that religion. Loved her empathy. I was so grateful to have given birth to girls and not boys so escaped the barbaric practice of circumcision.
Circumcision is practiced by all Jews and is a sacred ritual, practiced for thousands of years.
@@stephenfisher3721 There is nothing sacred about it. It's a sick and unnecessary mutilation.
@@Serendipity-gj2me
Jews practice brit milah for religious reasons. However, the majority of physicians of all faiths in the United States agree that circumcision has many health benefits and that is why circumcision is routinely done in all hospitals in the United States.
Do you feel like you’re gay because of the oppression of orthodoxy? Trauma and other experiences mold us.
That's not how being gay works.
You are born gay.
She doesn't "feel like she is gay"; she just is gay.
A person doesn't get "turned gay" by a life situation. A person is just gay as a fundamental part of their biology/physiology. Born that way.
Not true! It could be from nurture.. she didn't have a very good relationship with her mom... and her mom wasn't very emotionally healthy mom , so yeah that it is a factor for feeling gay..
@@judithfriedman9103 so rude Judith! Again I find a nasty comment from you. No, gay is not from nurture. Please educate yourself you seem to be very uneducated...
This is a complete misrepresentation of the community as a whole. There could be some who have this experience but it is highly unusual. I started my married life there and I have many relatives living there and this is unusual. There is birth control , without it the average family size would be 10 or when the average is 7. The Rabbi does not have that kind of control. Yes there are sometimes that the Rabbi is consulted but not to this extent. Maybe your husband had issues and was not an independent thinker . Saying you had to sneak out of the community for your education not a representation of the community. I have many relatives there who have gotten their master degrees
while living there . Many woman and men in the communiy are professionals such as social workers, nurses, speech therapists, occupational therapists, pysicians assistant, nurse practioners, doctors, lawyers, accountants.....What an individual experiences is her experience, not a reason to demean a large community.
Copy paste on all the anti frum videos.... They do add a disclaimer that everyone's situation is unique but that usually gets lost in the wider message. Still, yu have to admit growing up a frum lesbian could not have been easy for her!
Just wanted to add, i loved the initial interview and looking forward to this. I did a theology & philosophy degree so love learning about world religions. It’s been so enlightening watching C2C over the last year or so x
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