The chameleon effect and depersonalization are two different things. The hard part is to avoid depersonalization. Everyting needs to be in a propper control, right.
I just recently discovered I am an INFJ. This is very eye opening! I think this is why I like to keep areas/people of my life in different boxes and I don’t like them to cross over. It’s like there’s a fear of being discovered. And I am a super private person. I consider myself an authentic person, but I am not transparent.
Sis, u just slapped me in the face😭 Rlly, tysm for sharing this, i don't regret a single second of watching this. I knew that I'm an infj (I've took the test and researched it deeply) but... None of my research stated bout this😭 I've always been confused why I can act and treat people so so so differently 🥺 It's just making me hate myself bcs of not knowing who i rlly was. My main goal is always to be accepted by them😭😭 I even exploring ALL hobbies, movies, anything that people may like (commonly anime or kpop lmao) just for... They could talk comfortably around me and feel sort of connection between us. Gosh IDK when I'll stop doin it 😞
Sheesh this one hit on a different level. I think my chameleon side can be such a strength that it’s hard to let go of... I think it’s not so much being “vulnerable” but just expressing yourself honestly. It’s hard for me to do that because I think it’s too much. I’m afraid that it will be too much for some one to handle my strong opinions, my passion, my emotion and weaknesses. But I also feel that I’m doing a disservice to the world and myself for not living out of my heart.
Hi Wenzes, this video really resonated with me. I have always used this chameleon effect to make friends, and always see it more as playing up different parts of my personality, rather than imitating something I'm not. This has lead me to having lots of 'single' friends rather than groups of friends and it has always been one of my biggest nightmares to have everyone I know interact in one place (I NEVER have birthday parties etc!) I realise the danger in this though and it has had negative effects, especially in my last relationship as I was worried about introducing her to friends because I was worried what she would think of them. I think that made her feel I was holding something back or was embarrassed of her which was never the case. I'm taking steps to be more 'real' with everyone, but it is definitely a challenge as at a certain point you can start actually questioning who the real you is!? Anyway, enough rambling I just wanted to say I enjoyed the video!
The funny thing is that what shook me out of this trait was being with an ESTP. Just being around the guy made me so much more self-confident. He never actually did anything, just by breathing the same air as me. I never felt so comfortable and understood in my life. After having that experience I will not take anything else ever again, even if no one accepts me like him.
You've managed to condense my life into a 13 minute video. I've always struggled to put all of this into words and make sense of all these feelings, but you did it! Thank you for this incredibly illuminating video. :)
I used to love the chameleon effect. I still like it because of connection in some ways although now I see its darker side. I never was embarrassed, just oblivious to how it seemed to others. I wonder if they ever thought I was fake? Maybe that's why they 'hated' me - it was frustration, because I only showed what they wanted and only so much. Holy crap! That wasn't my intention. I just liked how I could be with them in that moment, which happened to be different way with another friend/moment. And I misread things. Thankfully when I was honest they listened. I just never told them I was grateful for them sticking with me. I'm going to do that. And maybe a few more conversations to be had. I kinda judged myself judging the others who were judging me in a way. I kind of knew this and the video helped confirm it. I'm somewhere between laughing and crying. Relief for me. Sadness because I didn't mean to upset anyone, that's against my nature.(Empathic). Explains why guilt was just so damn hard to decipher. I really needed this video. Thank you Wenzes
Still have love for the chameleon effect; I want/need to be careful with it, add in how I uniquely experience things (gently) So there is some authenticity in there. Also there's nothing I can do about someone judging me - that's their problem I know, if I'm able to have conversations which can decrease that I will only if we are both cool with it. Can be useful to understand how someone arrived to their perspective. Also dangerous cos it can lead to an Ni-Ti loop of rumination which is a MASSIVE trap.
Remember, there is no need to be so hard on yourself. Noone of us is only ‚good‘...we are worthy with all our bad actions/habits as well...try to love yourself with all those aspects, including the fact that you have hurt others before. We do as good as we can...until we know better, then we do better
I feel you so much. I used to be proud I can adapt so well and have fun with so many different people when in one on one situation. I've been feeling fake for some time now and I don't think I belong anywhere. I think we INFJs usually don't find well matched people, so it's a choice between adapting or being alone, that's how I feel. I'd like to be myself more, but do I know what is being myself? Do you?
@@Wenzes I love and accept myself. Possibly a bit harsh on myself in that post. I'm somewhere on the way to self actualization, finding limits between guilt, the extent of the chameleon effect and self expression. Have yet to find that balance. Its coming.
@@justinael I believe people give what they feel comfortable with. Also their 100% is not going to look like my 100%, realizing that helps. I don't mind because I love and respect them in their own way for that. And so I add my own self expression in with the chameleon, which helps not feel so fake and helps bring balance. Still love the chameleon though. Being myself - that's kind of an experiment. I mean we need to discover it for ourselves. Fi people all know this within themselves,as they grow and experience life, but as we have Fe -its harder. I got clear on my values. Boundaries beliefs and perspectives and internal; self image.. Love being INFJ. I'm quietly confident, with a warm empathic energy radiating from within. Hope this helps Justinael. Oh and thank you Wenzes! Been listening for some time now and you'e helped me towards actualization.
It really makes it important to surround yourself with people who are positive and uplifting, rather than those who only have negative output. That can become so depressing to our spirit
I began to work with this in a comfortable-for-me way by using what first looked to me like contradicting ideas, but they really weren't. 1. I committed to being myself. 2. Closely related: I found that it was possible to do this without telling people everything I was doing. 3. I resolved to practice good manners and enjoy the people I was with. Of course, I still have to keep working and refining this . But things are much better now.
I like this nonconformist perspective on personality traits. It really makes sense with regard to the variations between everyone, even in the same type. I believe too that these aren't meant to limit us, but allows us to identify where we're at in the process of achieving a greater expression of our true selves.
Wenze you are a BLESSING from God. You're talking facts. Best video ever! I'm very happy I've found this channel. I feel understood so much like I never have before. Thank you!
Thank you for clarifying my career in the military and life after. It got me through a lot. I wish you all peace and love during these trying times. Be solid and helpful to others.
Something I found I do is, I chameleon into a new group of people, but slowly show them over time the real me that they adapt to it and still accept it
From an outside perspective, the fluidity with which these adaptations can take place was initially fascinating. No insincerity of person, no discernible effort in transition. Having observed from both inside and outside of a romantic relationship, I ultimately came to find it alarming. Nine years, five of those wedded and I can honestly say that I have never truly known the woman who was my bride. No malice, just food for thought.
I still remember the moment where I was with someone close to me. And I actually.. Said something in almost 100% of the same tone and words as they had said previously before. They noticed.. and it was super awkward. At that point I realized just how bad my social mirroring was. To a scary and awkward extreme.. That was 2 yrs ago.. and I am still working on it. But much better :) Thanks for making this video
Thank you so much. I’m 35 and still finding myself. When my mom died, I felt and still feel so lost, because she was the best energy and being w her allowed me to be my favorite version of myself. I’ll never be that guy again. But man, it’s tiring… do you even change political beliefs based on who you’re talking with? It’s never fake- always authentic.. ultimately just being “nice and agreeable” with whoever you’re with..
I love hearing about your personal background! I grew up with three different Te/Fi types. I'm realizing thru MBTI how truly and utterly taxed my Fe was/is with my family. I'm still working out the impacts. What it did was give me stronger boundaries as I developed out my Te and Fi in response to theirs. But my Fe was overtaxed and underdeveloped and my Ni warped. I have to study times in my life when I felt more possibilities, more wonderment. It's hard to recognize those times when they are happening but in retrospect they often involve travel or living in a new area and meeting new groups of people and getting involved in a new dynamic and definitely others with stronger Ni/Fe that I seem to need to counter-balance the influence of my family types.
I don't know if it's an INFJ thingy, the reason I adapt well is because I'm highly aware when I'm around other people, can turn on the charm or dumb down a bully, but cool listener and aloof at time (love that INFJ complexity)..I can be in the present moment because my Fe pulls me towards people, I am always curious, most of the times warm too, about someone within my matrix, my harmony radars on like an large "room size umbrella" in my immediate environment, highly aware in my peripheral. Or I can simply turn it off and just day dream in my own space. (INFJ complex enough for you?..lol) The people that are on autopilot (usually personality disorders, "they" don't know it but they're all cut from the same cookie cutter, "all" doing the same toxic patterns, same dance whatever..ergo, on autopilot) I put on a narc mask temporarily and disengage asap (they're creepy to me). I use my vast unconscious resources (my Ni) at my disposal when interacting with anyone (it's counter intuitive, but it's our unconscious that's present moment, have you ever said, " I can't believe I just said that?".., our conscious is on a different time frame.. it shifts through shit in real time but it is not in charge, it is hard to explain, your conscious is asking questions but not actually living the now..). INFJ unconscious is highly tuned, INFJ vivd dreams, dom Ni, etc...I am not on autopilot when people are near, so in present "danger?" naw...it's hard to fool me... "observing ego" ftw. Unfortunately, that turning off my autopilot and shifting into manual control for the duration in my social matrix, uses a lot of mental energy that luckly, my unconscious is a vast resource of abundant mental energy that can handle that matrix awareness... that I need a deep recharge afterwards for a few days, alone..I disappear if I am being highly extroverted in my social cirlces, then introspecting the minute details later or not. ... which is ALL easy to do for an INFJ cuz we're hardwired that way. I'm the lone wolf to watch out for if you try to disrupt the harmony...*wink* Love your videos...you make me think, thought provoking, and helps me understand about being the rarest.
I abandoned a poem about myself being the watcher thinker, and social chameleon, especially when I was younger, went upstairs put you on 4 company and bang the very same subject, I am still doing it, to an extent. Although I am a lot more comfortable in my own shoes, these days. Never thought of the downside of it before.Kp up gd work thanks JVR
Very dangerous! I've been learning this recently. Choose your people only based on your goal and no others. They will try to be friends and require your energy; being a friend you will try to keep up this relationship that, even neutral at best, is unfruitful and dangerous in that it will steer you away from your destination of purpose and resonance. If they are not part of your ultimate vision, do not keep them. Those you need will meet you. A mentor, a partner(s), but all in the environment you need to produce your vision. Once you know your goal it is easier. Until then we attract everything to us and it is not always clear that these little nothings lead to lots of nothing.
I realized recently. I depending on who I was around. Eventually I just morph into something that is like who I'm around. I guess mirroring people abit. I never noticed I always did this. Even to the point if somebody I was around enough. I would just not like who they don't like. I have done that so may times over the years. Talk like people I'm around. Depending on the people. I would talk about only things the people would want to talk about. Like I just fit in perfectly. I had never realized I always did this. It bothers me abit. I always thought I was my own person. I just morphed into somebody. That made everyone comfortable. The thing is I never thought to do it. I just did it. My true self is honestly really weird goofy silly.
Wow! I feel caught out by you. I guess i kinda knew this in the back of my mind but never worked on it. I always thought my ability to adabt in any group in any situation was a strength but as you said with that it is like not beeing 100% me who I am truly are and what i really think and then i dont feel as connected to others because they dont know me truly. Even in my relationship and I guess especially from the close Friends and Family i dont wanna be judged. Wow.. I really have to do something about it. It's not easy but you opened up my eyes to that issue.
Happy the video was thought provoking. In the end, it‘s all a journey and we pick only up what makes sense to us and helps us to move forward. Definitely try leaning into this. It isn‘t easy at first but totally rewarding 👍
I think we can guide our cameleon effect to drive people where we want to reach. Its not a fake skill, it just depends how we are taking it. Like everything in life, good and bad it depends the intention, not just modus operante.
Actually, I tried for many years to get my different kind of friends to be able to meet for a party. But they stuck to their differences and most of them thought that I was fake. Now, I try to evaluate first if those I'm about to introduce to each other are able to just be around each other without trying to kill each other. Doesn't work either. Cause they end up talking about you behind your back trying to fake common grounds between them, and you actually end up labelled fake.
My analogy for this topic is the way I speak I grew up in foster homes live with lots of different families and had to fit in different neighborhoods different friends etc. I was very good at it and as a kid it’s hard to figure out who you are wasn’t until the beginning of this year that I started my journey And I’m almost 60 years old but my language still possesses pieces of my childhood from all walks of life for better or for worse leopard can’t change it’s spots well not all the time thanks again
Your story is so similar to mine. I spent a short time in a foster home, and lived with my grandmother and mother in different neighborhoods of various cultures. I've been criticized by family members, because of my ability to fit in to so many groups. Yet it takes me awhile to form a deep meaningful relationship with a person.
I am one of these but I use it for much darker aspects, sort of like catch me if you can gone wrong.. I can mimic anyone and learn skills with ease to the point I am an expert that just began yesterday. As for the real me, I am only a wandering mirror with too many faces to count at my age..
I've been so many things to so many people for so long that now at 40 I literally have no idea who I really am or even what I really like.. Sounds crazy to say but atleast I know I'm not the only one who has dealt with this
I always adapt to my friendship groups by acting like an over energised clown to make people laugh and like me ALL THE TIME, I try to sympathise with them when they are feeling low and it's difficult for me because I'm so desensitized to other people's emotions. I often speak in different accents, like Scottish, irish, russian, japanese, etc. I feel like a clown. I like the attention though but it's not the real me, not even I know what the real me is because I'm constantly changing. I'm not sure if I have BPD, ADHD or im bipolar or a sociopath
I've used music as a weapon of reflection when the hacker stalkers hacked into my devices and Comcast. The Comcast guy couldn't figure out the hacks. I have pictures and IP addresses. One from St. Petersburg Russia. I have that IP address. I've been friends with many from all walks of life as well. In Chicagoland that tends to be dangerous. I've crossed so many lines there 😎.
Wow what are your first two languages? Very impressive. I'd like to learn Italian. I speak English and Spanish but with no accent either, I think this is the Fe chameleon vibe we are able to pick up the language well as if we were of that tribe so to speak.
I‘ve been born in Bulgaria and speak Bulgarian all my life and as a young child I moved with my family to Germany and I am normally still living there (currently I am in Spain though😊)
I basically lost all my friends because of this, but I think I had a much worse case. At my worst, I would literally change up my voice depending on who I was talking to right then and there. So at a friends wedding I was subconsciously changing up my voice, laugh and hand gestures throughout the day not even realizing it and when they found out I was doing this it weirded them out. I’m doing much better now but still struggle to meet new people because of the paranoia from doing it subconsciously.
the chameleon always try to touch the things before he becomes one with it(change colors...etc)...my friend has one n u give him something he's going to grab it...all chameleons do that to get to know the thing first hand...but he let it go if he knows it's dangerous...bottom line...try the best u can but know when it's time to let go...what the chameleon touch he becomes unless it's dangerous...don't become something dangerous...just try to touch everyone that want to be touched...we only can adapted to the things that can be adapted... don't try to show who u are(actions speaks louder than words)but just tell the way u are(words speaks the truth)...only trust ur fingers...meaning only truly trust the friends u can count on ur fingers..just let it be urself, don't change ur ways for someone unless it's not a good way(non-respectfully)...its not because u dislike someone that u have to disrespect it...respect goes all around the world so that means, with respect u can go really far...Cheers!!!
I came here cause I’m writing a character. But I think all those initials to describe a personality is complete crap. it’s flaky. It’s attracted by those who like horoscopes and other non-scientific nonsense.
How do you feel about the INFJ chameleon effect?
I hate it but I’m working on being unapologetically myself...
The chameleon effect and depersonalization are two different things. The hard part is to avoid depersonalization. Everyting needs to be in a propper control, right.
😊😊👍
It all rings very true for me. Great content thanks.
I just forget myself completely.
I just recently discovered I am an INFJ. This is very eye opening! I think this is why I like to keep areas/people of my life in different boxes and I don’t like them to cross over. It’s like there’s a fear of being discovered. And I am a super private person. I consider myself an authentic person, but I am not transparent.
Welcome to the family!
Ugh i relate to this so much!
Sis, u just slapped me in the face😭
Rlly, tysm for sharing this, i don't regret a single second of watching this. I knew that I'm an infj (I've took the test and researched it deeply) but... None of my research stated bout this😭
I've always been confused why I can act and treat people so so so differently 🥺
It's just making me hate myself bcs of not knowing who i rlly was. My main goal is always to be accepted by them😭😭
I even exploring ALL hobbies, movies, anything that people may like (commonly anime or kpop lmao) just for... They could talk comfortably around me and feel sort of connection between us. Gosh IDK when I'll stop doin it 😞
Sheesh this one hit on a different level. I think my chameleon side can be such a strength that it’s hard to let go of... I think it’s not so much being “vulnerable” but just expressing yourself honestly. It’s hard for me to do that because I think it’s too much. I’m afraid that it will be too much for some one to handle my strong opinions, my passion, my emotion and weaknesses. But I also feel that I’m doing a disservice to the world and myself for not living out of my heart.
"Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change"
-stephen hawking
So why infj's are dangerous😂😂
Hi Wenzes, this video really resonated with me. I have always used this chameleon effect to make friends, and always see it more as playing up different parts of my personality, rather than imitating something I'm not. This has lead me to having lots of 'single' friends rather than groups of friends and it has always been one of my biggest nightmares to have everyone I know interact in one place (I NEVER have birthday parties etc!) I realise the danger in this though and it has had negative effects, especially in my last relationship as I was worried about introducing her to friends because I was worried what she would think of them. I think that made her feel I was holding something back or was embarrassed of her which was never the case. I'm taking steps to be more 'real' with everyone, but it is definitely a challenge as at a certain point you can start actually questioning who the real you is!? Anyway, enough rambling I just wanted to say I enjoyed the video!
😊👍
The funny thing is that what shook me out of this trait was being with an ESTP. Just being around the guy made me so much more self-confident. He never actually did anything, just by breathing the same air as me. I never felt so comfortable and understood in my life. After having that experience I will not take anything else ever again, even if no one accepts me like him.
You've managed to condense my life into a 13 minute video. I've always struggled to put all of this into words and make sense of all these feelings, but you did it! Thank you for this incredibly illuminating video. :)
I used to love the chameleon effect. I still like it because of connection in some ways although now I see its darker side. I never was embarrassed, just oblivious to how it seemed to others. I wonder if they ever thought I was fake? Maybe that's why they 'hated' me - it was frustration, because I only showed what they wanted and only so much. Holy crap! That wasn't my intention. I just liked how I could be with them in that moment, which happened to be different way with another friend/moment. And I misread things. Thankfully when I was honest they listened. I just never told them I was grateful for them sticking with me. I'm going to do that. And maybe a few more conversations to be had. I kinda judged myself judging the others who were judging me in a way. I kind of knew this and the video helped confirm it. I'm somewhere between laughing and crying. Relief for me. Sadness because I didn't mean to upset anyone, that's against my nature.(Empathic). Explains why guilt was just so damn hard to decipher. I really needed this video. Thank you Wenzes
Still have love for the chameleon effect; I want/need to be careful with it, add in how I uniquely experience things (gently) So there is some authenticity in there. Also there's nothing I can do about someone judging me - that's their problem I know, if I'm able to have conversations which can decrease that I will only if we are both cool with it. Can be useful to understand how someone arrived to their perspective. Also dangerous cos it can lead to an Ni-Ti loop of rumination which is a MASSIVE trap.
Remember, there is no need to be so hard on yourself. Noone of us is only ‚good‘...we are worthy with all our bad actions/habits as well...try to love yourself with all those aspects, including the fact that you have hurt others before. We do as good as we can...until we know better, then we do better
I feel you so much. I used to be proud I can adapt so well and have fun with so many different people when in one on one situation. I've been feeling fake for some time now and I don't think I belong anywhere. I think we INFJs usually don't find well matched people, so it's a choice between adapting or being alone, that's how I feel. I'd like to be myself more, but do I know what is being myself? Do you?
@@Wenzes I love and accept myself. Possibly a bit harsh on myself in that post. I'm somewhere on the way to self actualization, finding limits between guilt, the extent of the chameleon effect and self expression. Have yet to find that balance. Its coming.
@@justinael I believe people give what they feel comfortable with. Also their 100% is not going to look like my 100%, realizing that helps. I don't mind because I love and respect them in their own way for that. And so I add my own self expression in with the chameleon, which helps not feel so fake and helps bring balance. Still love the chameleon though. Being myself - that's kind of an experiment. I mean we need to discover it for ourselves. Fi people all know this within themselves,as they grow and experience life, but as we have Fe -its harder. I got clear on my values. Boundaries beliefs and perspectives and internal; self image.. Love being INFJ. I'm quietly confident, with a warm empathic energy radiating from within. Hope this helps Justinael. Oh and thank you Wenzes! Been listening for some time now and you'e helped me towards actualization.
It really makes it important to surround yourself with people who are positive and uplifting, rather than those who only have negative output. That can become so depressing to our spirit
I began to work with this in a comfortable-for-me way by using what first looked to me like contradicting ideas, but they really weren't.
1. I committed to being myself.
2. Closely related: I found that it was possible to do this without telling people everything I was doing.
3. I resolved to practice good manners and enjoy the people I was with.
Of course, I still have to keep working and refining this . But things are much better now.
👍👍😊 great Linda
Yaa..my friends just freaking out knowing another side of me..and i am learning to slowly shows who i really am.
I like this nonconformist perspective on personality traits. It really makes sense with regard to the variations between everyone, even in the same type. I believe too that these aren't meant to limit us, but allows us to identify where we're at in the process of achieving a greater expression of our true selves.
👍😊
Wenze you are a BLESSING from God. You're talking facts. Best video ever! I'm very happy I've found this channel. I feel understood so much like I never have before. Thank you!
Thank you for clarifying my career in the military and life after. It got me through a lot. I wish you all peace and love during these trying times. Be solid and helpful to others.
The camillian becomes the Caterpillar becomes the butterfly.
Beautifully said 😊
Something I found I do is, I chameleon into a new group of people, but slowly show them over time the real me that they adapt to it and still accept it
From an outside perspective, the fluidity with which these adaptations can take place was initially fascinating. No insincerity of person, no discernible effort in transition. Having observed from both inside and outside of a romantic relationship, I ultimately came to find it alarming. Nine years, five of those wedded and I can honestly say that I have never truly known the woman who was my bride. No malice, just food for thought.
Mad Mystic - Thank you for sharing ! Very eye opening !
Wenzes thank you for sharing your thoughts so openly.I really feel understood! That is so helpful!
So happy to read that. Thank you for your feedback Christina 😊
Thank you so much for this!! Bless you
I still remember the moment where I was with someone close to me. And I actually.. Said something in almost 100% of the same tone and words as they had said previously before. They noticed.. and it was super awkward. At that point I realized just how bad my social mirroring was. To a scary and awkward extreme..
That was 2 yrs ago.. and I am still working on it. But much better :) Thanks for making this video
It feels so good actually I love my chameleon effect but I can also drop it at will
Thank you so much. I’m 35 and still finding myself. When my mom died, I felt and still feel so lost, because she was the best energy and being w her allowed me to be my favorite version of myself.
I’ll never be that guy again. But man, it’s tiring… do you even change political beliefs based on who you’re talking with? It’s never fake- always authentic.. ultimately just being “nice and agreeable” with whoever you’re with..
I love hearing about your personal background! I grew up with three different Te/Fi types. I'm realizing thru MBTI how truly and utterly taxed my Fe was/is with my family. I'm still working out the impacts. What it did was give me stronger boundaries as I developed out my Te and Fi in response to theirs. But my Fe was overtaxed and underdeveloped and my Ni warped. I have to study times in my life when I felt more possibilities, more wonderment. It's hard to recognize those times when they are happening but in retrospect they often involve travel or living in a new area and meeting new groups of people and getting involved in a new dynamic and definitely others with stronger Ni/Fe that I seem to need to counter-balance the influence of my family types.
All your videos are just indescribable
❤️
😊
Great sharing, thanks ❤❤
That explains so much. Thank you.
I don't know if it's an INFJ thingy, the reason I adapt well is because I'm highly aware when I'm around other people, can turn on the charm or dumb down a bully, but cool listener and aloof at time (love that INFJ complexity)..I can be in the present moment because my Fe pulls me towards people, I am always curious, most of the times warm too, about someone within my matrix, my harmony radars on like an large "room size umbrella" in my immediate environment, highly aware in my peripheral. Or I can simply turn it off and just day dream in my own space. (INFJ complex enough for you?..lol)
The people that are on autopilot (usually personality disorders, "they" don't know it but they're all cut from the same cookie cutter, "all" doing the same toxic patterns, same dance whatever..ergo, on autopilot) I put on a narc mask temporarily and disengage asap (they're creepy to me). I use my vast unconscious resources (my Ni) at my disposal when interacting with anyone (it's counter intuitive, but it's our unconscious that's present moment, have you ever said, " I can't believe I just said that?".., our conscious is on a different time frame.. it shifts through shit in real time but it is not in charge, it is hard to explain, your conscious is asking questions but not actually living the now..). INFJ unconscious is highly tuned, INFJ vivd dreams, dom Ni, etc...I am not on autopilot when people are near, so in present "danger?" naw...it's hard to fool me...
"observing ego" ftw.
Unfortunately, that turning off my autopilot and shifting into manual control for the duration in my social matrix, uses a lot of mental energy that luckly, my unconscious is a vast resource of abundant mental energy that can handle that matrix awareness... that I need a deep recharge afterwards for a few days, alone..I disappear if I am being highly extroverted in my social cirlces, then introspecting the minute details later or not.
... which is ALL easy to do for an INFJ cuz we're hardwired that way.
I'm the lone wolf to watch out for if you try to disrupt the harmony...*wink*
Love your videos...you make me think, thought provoking, and helps me understand about being the rarest.
😉👍
I abandoned a poem about myself being the watcher thinker, and social chameleon, especially when I was younger, went upstairs put you on 4 company and bang the very same subject, I am still doing it, to an extent. Although I am a lot more comfortable in my own shoes, these days. Never thought of the downside of it before.Kp up gd work thanks JVR
It is always a journey. We also have to learn not to be too strict with ourselves... glad the video was helpful 👍😊
A brilliant message wens💎 thanks agin! Very clear and helpful🙏🏽☺️
Glad it was helpful 😀
We have chameleons effect in positive way but cannot maintain it for long!!
😊👍
Thank you so much this was really helpful!
So happy to read that 😊👍
@@Wenzes 😃
Wow ... You speak very well the English ... I didn't notice that it wasn't your main language at all ... Let alone your third :)
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"I don't want to hide parts if myself anymore"
Very dangerous! I've been learning this recently. Choose your people only based on your goal and no others. They will try to be friends and require your energy; being a friend you will try to keep up this relationship that, even neutral at best, is unfruitful and dangerous in that it will steer you away from your destination of purpose and resonance. If they are not part of your ultimate vision, do not keep them. Those you need will meet you. A mentor, a partner(s), but all in the environment you need to produce your vision. Once you know your goal it is easier. Until then we attract everything to us and it is not always clear that these little nothings lead to lots of nothing.
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I realized recently. I depending on who I was around. Eventually I just morph into something that is like who I'm around. I guess mirroring people abit. I never noticed I always did this. Even to the point if somebody I was around enough. I would just not like who they don't like. I have done that so may times over the years. Talk like people I'm around. Depending on the people. I would talk about only things the people would want to talk about. Like I just fit in perfectly. I had never realized I always did this. It bothers me abit. I always thought I was my own person. I just morphed into somebody. That made everyone comfortable. The thing is I never thought to do it. I just did it. My true self is honestly really weird goofy silly.
So glad to know this is a general infj thing and not just my personal thing.
Wow! I feel caught out by you. I guess i kinda knew this in the back of my mind but never worked on it.
I always thought my ability to adabt in any group in any situation was a strength but as you said with that it is like not beeing 100% me who I am truly are and what i really think and then i dont feel as connected to others because they dont know me truly. Even in my relationship and I guess especially from the close Friends and Family i dont wanna be judged. Wow.. I really have to do something about it. It's not easy but you opened up my eyes to that issue.
Happy the video was thought provoking. In the end, it‘s all a journey and we pick only up what makes sense to us and helps us to move forward. Definitely try leaning into this. It isn‘t easy at first but totally rewarding 👍
I think we can guide our cameleon effect to drive people where we want to reach. Its not a fake skill, it just depends how we are taking it. Like everything in life, good and bad it depends the intention, not just modus operante.
Actually, I tried for many years to get my different kind of friends to be able to meet for a party. But they stuck to their differences and most of them thought that I was fake. Now, I try to evaluate first if those I'm about to introduce to each other are able to just be around each other without trying to kill each other.
Doesn't work either. Cause they end up talking about you behind your back trying to fake common grounds between them, and you actually end up labelled fake.
Thank you for this video, it helped me a lot. I'm just curious about those songs, something tells me they weren't that bad after all :)
My analogy for this topic is the way I speak I grew up in foster homes live with lots of different families and had to fit in different neighborhoods different friends etc. I was very good at it and as a kid it’s hard to figure out who you are wasn’t until the beginning of this year that I started my journey And I’m almost 60 years old but my language still possesses pieces of my childhood from all walks of life for better or for worse leopard can’t change it’s spots well not all the time thanks again
Your story is so similar to mine. I spent a short time in a foster home, and lived with my grandmother and mother in different neighborhoods of various cultures. I've been criticized by family members, because of my ability to fit in to so many groups. Yet it takes me awhile to form a deep meaningful relationship with a person.
Joan Victores Thanks for your comment and thank you for sharing your story with me sometimes I feel closer to strangers because of this very reason
I am one of these but I use it for much darker aspects, sort of like catch me if you can gone wrong.. I can mimic anyone and learn skills with ease to the point I am an expert that just began yesterday. As for the real me, I am only a wandering mirror with too many faces to count at my age..
You are awesome
thank you :)
to be a chameleon i use vague terms to introduce subjects on a surface level if you can connect that way with people you are in
A trait of borderline personality.
I've been so many things to so many people for so long that now at 40 I literally have no idea who I really am or even what I really like.. Sounds crazy to say but atleast I know I'm not the only one who has dealt with this
I always adapt to my friendship groups by acting like an over energised clown to make people laugh and like me ALL THE TIME, I try to sympathise with them when they are feeling low and it's difficult for me because I'm so desensitized to other people's emotions. I often speak in different accents, like Scottish, irish, russian, japanese, etc. I feel like a clown. I like the attention though but it's not the real me, not even I know what the real me is because I'm constantly changing. I'm not sure if I have BPD, ADHD or im bipolar or a sociopath
I've used music as a weapon of reflection when the hacker stalkers hacked into my devices and Comcast. The Comcast guy couldn't figure out the hacks. I have pictures and IP addresses. One from St. Petersburg Russia. I have that IP address. I've been friends with many from all walks of life as well. In Chicagoland that tends to be dangerous. I've crossed so many lines there 😎.
Manipulation can be used for good and sometimes it can be used for evil
The chameleon effect is manipulation out of insecurity, got it.
Wow what are your first two languages? Very impressive. I'd like to learn Italian. I speak English and Spanish but with no accent either, I think this is the Fe chameleon vibe we are able to pick up the language well as if we were of that tribe so to speak.
I‘ve been born in Bulgaria and speak Bulgarian all my life and as a young child I moved with my family to Germany and I am normally still living there (currently I am in Spain though😊)
So how is that different from borderline personality disorder? With the loss of Sense of self.
Yes!!!!!!!
I basically lost all my friends because of this, but I think I had a much worse case. At my worst, I would literally change up my voice depending on who I was talking to right then and there. So at a friends wedding I was subconsciously changing up my voice, laugh and hand gestures throughout the day not even realizing it and when they found out I was doing this it weirded them out. I’m doing much better now but still struggle to meet new people because of the paranoia from doing it subconsciously.
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Has anyone covered the topic of not being responsible for other people's happieness?
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Take the INFJ thing seriously!
the chameleon always try to touch the things before he becomes one with it(change colors...etc)...my friend has one n u give him something he's going to grab it...all chameleons do that to get to know the thing first hand...but he let it go if he knows it's dangerous...bottom line...try the best u can but know when it's time to let go...what the chameleon touch he becomes unless it's dangerous...don't become something dangerous...just try to touch everyone that want to be touched...we only can adapted to the things that can be adapted... don't try to show who u are(actions speaks louder than words)but just tell the way u are(words speaks the truth)...only trust ur fingers...meaning only truly trust the friends u can count on ur fingers..just let it be urself, don't change ur ways for someone unless it's not a good way(non-respectfully)...its not because u dislike someone that u have to disrespect it...respect goes all around the world so that means, with respect u can go really far...Cheers!!!
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I am sooo confused.
1:45 Jesus Christ Bendito Dios give them neurons please
I can hang out with national socialists and progressives even though I'm neither, no joke.
😂 same here. It's scary.
I came here cause I’m writing a character. But I think all those initials to describe a personality is complete crap. it’s flaky. It’s attracted by those who like horoscopes and other non-scientific nonsense.