INFJ REJECTION: How Mature INFJs Are Dealing With Rejection
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- Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Today we're talking about how mature INFJs handle rejection. As we all know, INFJs do face a lot of rejection, but it doesn't mean that this has to be a bad thing. Actually. It keeps on hurting us IF we keep staying stuck where we're at. The moment we say we're able and willing to grow, we recognize that rejection is just part of the journey, and every single person, INFJ or not, has to deal with rejection if they want to succeed.
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How do you handle rejection? Have you been able to accept it as part of growth or does it still frighten you?
It still frightens me I still have the tendency to try to please the people around me and I feel like because of it I don't always get to set my boundaries, it seems like for me it is easier to sacrifice myself than to offend other people.
A matter of situation. I don't have problem with rejection in general but when I depend so much on the positive feedback mostly fail dramaticlly. It's all about controlling my passion in arguing. Like the Romans have said emotions are weekness. Not every time and in every case actually but to be overemotional... definitely not good especially for a tipically quiet, „sleepy“, mysterious and conflict avoidant INFJ like me who often keeps his opinions for himself in order to avoid arguing till the moment the people around me start to comment something I deeply care about wich immediately makes me a emotional bomb.
Oh my.. big time! I’v done so much stuff and taken it down, tried agin, changed into all sorts as I’m a quite the character, and still I feel like,, man I dont want to give a monkeys about others opinions!
Like you said, I am getting better and better at accepting rejection the more I court it. I used to work so hard at being pleasing on dates, but now I'm myself as much as possible right up front. And most don't like it, but accepting that has been very enlightening self-work and helped me grow.
I had a business, but could deal with this rejections. It sent me back in my shelve and it got me blocked in an extreme way. I stopped the business. Now, because of videos like this, I come to different insights. I wish I discovered it before :-). Good job, lady.
me i stopped caring for the ones that don't care for me(all included).
👍😊
This 💯
People who will reject you were never worth knowing to begin with. Let them reject you asap so you can move on and get on with on with your life.
This is definitely a reality with me. I hate when I'm ignored; I feel like I said something wrong as to why I am being rejected over again. 😒 lots of great information here; thanks for sharing!
I'm about to make my first art reveal to the world (no friends or family have ever seen it either), and one small part of me wonders which one I'll be: explain and justify it to death, or just run and hide. Painting is my greatest passion in life, but it's getting "late" and I really want to know what people think. I'm so scared.....
Thank you for returning to INFJ topics. Rejection is an area that I struggle with. I have spoken up more recently in work issues and family issues, and I feel better, even though reactions are often negative. You are absolutely right-rejection is about them, not me. Recently, I ran across a young man who put out a vlog called 100 Days of Rejection. He wanted to train himself to get used to rejection, so he made videos in which he asked for things that he believed the answer would be no, so he could desensitize himself to hearing “no.” What was interesting was that the answer wasn’t always no. There were cases in which he got a yes. They were rare, but he got them. Out of 100 days, he got more yes’s than he expected.
ua-cam.com/video/zmIeo2bZVoQ/v-deo.html
Great inspiration! Thanks for sharing...yes, we sometimes just need the practice in order to stop focusing on others perception of us 👍
Thank you for your comment and the link ! What a great idea
The fact that others don't understand or accept our ideas does not make them less valuable. WE DON't NEED TO EXPLAIN SO MUCH. Yes, the struggle is real and a part of daily INFJ life. Thank you for reminding us Wenzes.
Rejection is the absence of validation, isn't it? Do we desire or rely upon validation that much? I wonder how many of us INFJ's come from invalidating family systems.
I'd rather have someone flat out reject me rather than lead me on or pretend to like me. 🙄💁
The more of these videos I watch, the more it's like I'm watching a movie about my own life...
I'm so tired of being rejected (dating) and abandoned by my friends...I'm down to pretty much nobody left. Everyone else has gone their own way, and they no longer care to be around me. It took them long enough, but they all finally slowly took turns weeding-me out of their lives until I have virtually no friends left. I can handle being alone...Been doing that my whole life. Now it's turned to loneliness, and it's debilitating. I still wake up every morning, drag my ass out of bed and go to work, but I come home, watch TV, fall asleep... Same shit every single day of my life... I just wish I had someone to do things with...To talk to. Someone who cares. Where I live right now, I can't even have a dog (no pets). So it's just complete emptiness. And I live in the middle of nowhere, so there's no bars, no social places to meet people.
Damn bro that’s deep I feel u, I hope ur in a better place now, stay strong
Omg. You are my new motivation. You don't say anything that is not relatable, and you say what is so clear. Now I just have to find actual words to say, instead of irrational thoughts. 🥰
You got this! 😊👍
Duuuuuude! I can't believe how much I lived for others and NEVER myself. I thought if I thought of myself, I was being self-centered. Am I really the lead in my own show? * I'm currently giving myself permission to be excited about taking control of my life. Thinking about the possibility of change in that being stuck with inferior motives.*
Finally found someone who understands me.. Thank you so much for this great video, so empowering and mean so much to me..
- INFJ from Indonesia
Glad it was helpful 😊
10:16 - 10:26 "Just because they don't understand you doesn't mean what you have to say is less valuable!"...wow that is making me a bit teary eyed because I was the person always hoping "the wrong people" (family/friends) will 'get' me or hear me out even if what I'm saying is different...offer the space that I offered but this is so true! It is something I came across this video today from nearly two years ago. I really needed this message!
Me too ✋️ 😪
You have the best INFJ videos in all UA-cam by far imo 🙄👍
Thank you for this video Wenzes. I was struggling a lot with rejection and I didn't knew that INFJ's in general face a lot of rejection. This thought kinda relaxes me because I am always thinking: What is wrong with me?
Yes, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you 😊 we have to take on the challenge of loving ourselves even more and then rejection becomes something we are not even aware of anymore
@@Wenzes
Hey Wenzes, I was very impressed with this topic. When I was about to enter an university, I was rejected by my father and uncle. Because, the social science that I wanted to study was not that popular in my country. I am still obssessed with this subject. This clip really inspired me. I always appreciate your help.
Im passionate about space,the stars, the moons,planets,Earth. I love it. The universe we live in is so beautiful yet mysterious and puzzling at the same time. The universe is q topic that keeps my brain thinking and always being able to learn something new because we nor do I know everything about it.
I think I rejected rejection. At first it was a struggle with sadness and hurt, but I intuited that it was better for me to cut them loose and/or keep my personal integrity than to give that up because someone else wanted to be dominant. In time, I became pretty good at this and became more and more comfortable and confident with my own company. It wasn't ideal, but I knew I would figure out a better solution in the future. I did that, eventually, and now I barely remember how rough it was earlier on in my life journey. Your videos often remind me of early struggles before I knew that I was INFJ and not inferior at all.
I really like your channel. It really helps me understand myself more. I have experienced rejections and blame myself more. I thought it was my fault. I'm scared when no one understands me so I do the chameleon but I realized in your video that rejection is part of growth. I wasn't really showing myself more because I keep on pleasing everyone. Up until now, I'm still learning how to handle and accept rejection. Thank you for the video it means a lot to me.
This is spot on for me. I've always felt this. And thought I was wrong for thinking that. Thank you
I've been sharing more and more, and I've just gotten used to understanding some people they respond and they want to know more and I love that. And others, they literally won't respond as if the perspective I just shared fell on deaf ears and I went mute in that moment. That used to really upset me and I thought there was something wrong with me. So I did shut down for a long time. But now I understand - more and more - some people are gunna get it and others just it's too XYZ for them and that's not a reflection on me.
Exactly - plus it's great information. Once you share this part of yourself and people can't connect with that, you know directly that there is no reason to try further with them in this direction....I do this all the time: the more I was open getting the "rejection", the more I just saw it as useful information ;)
This is a super treatment of the subject of rejection. And yes, I identified with it and found your insights helpful.
After some painful incidents, I chose to change my approach to meeting people and getting to know them. I began to look for clues telling me whether or not it would work. I did this with friends and possible romantic relationships. It's hard to describe everything I did (these were pre-MBTI days). It was probably intuition with a lot of FE help. I learned to cordially distance myself - sometimes without the other person even knowing! 🙂
I learned ( as you mentioned on the video) that rejection happens and is a part of life. By knowing this, and having a plan, when it looked rejection was coming, I was prepared, and it was a lot less painful.
👍👍
IT'S SAD, I EXPERIENCE everything in your videos🤯💯🧠
Your amazingly awesome at being a INFJ
Coach.
INFJ HERO
Thank you
Preaching to the choir! Excellent conversation about the chameleon effect and avoidant of rejection or attachment to praises. In a way the healing starts with the integration of the shadow Fi (inner feelings) to the Fe and shadow Ne (bringing out your intuitions) to Ni. I appreciate the videos, they are 99.99999% accurate so far.
This lesson has shown a lot and understanding to be misunderstood is very helpuful
Thank you so much for this video Wenzes. I am new to this channel and this is the second video that I watched of yours. I could resonate with on it so many levels so thank you and you are absolutely right that even if one person can understand the message then that means we have ended up making a difference in some way and at the end even that shouldn't matter to us since we are enough and whole in our own ways.
I am an INFJ and I have two professions; a school teacher and an energy (Reiki) healer. I have come a long way in both of the professions but my passion is being an energy healer and exploring more about the humans and the Universe in ways that is quite different than how we see it to be and I have learned so much and everyday I come across different aspects of it. However, when it comes to living in the real world, I kinda tend to suck. I mean yes I have made a lot of progress and I have evolved and grown but there are times when I feel so lonely, isolated and well hurt too. As a school teacher even though I am a very kind, loving and compassionate teacher, I happen to be not the favourite teacher of most of the students so I used to wonder why could that be and over these years I have realised that teenagers (like we once did) are struggling to understand so many things about their lives and most of them do not even like themselves so how can I expect them to like me. I am trying my best not to take things personally and accept that it is okay if I am the most boring teacher and if I am not the coolest one. I am who I am. When it comes to other realtionships, I have very much drawn boundaries and come to a point where I honestly don't care if the other person rejects me but there are still areas of my life where this needs to be understood, acknowledged and made peace with.
Thank you once again for this video. You have no idea how much lighter I feel. You have a great energy. Thank you for sharing your beautiful energy with all of us.
Thank you for sharing your story and glad my videos inspire you 😊
Thanks for the text with the main points makes it easier to integrate what you’re saying into my brain
Great 👍😊happy to read that
Spot on. I don't care being rejected anymore. When am rejected, in my mind am like "their problem not mine" or probably am ahead of their level of thinking so not my level.
Thank you Wenzes for thinking of this one person ❤️
I love working on myself. I can be there for me and the people I care about and the people who hate me will just go away.
And that by just being myself. I love it!
Such good good, people need to try and be who they are to learn and learn from it. Rejection gives us feedback and it does get easier to show myself over time because I learned that being myself actually helps myself and others more than when I hid my light
Very nice explanation about rejection... Need something more
Powerful message!
Radiate who you really are and those that resonate with you will show themselves. So what if the rest reject you? Be grateful that they dont waste your time.
I am currently living with someone (housemate-all girls apartment) who have narcissistic tendencies I am not a professional to discern if she is truly a narcissist but based on the behaviours not just towards me but also chosen others just to mention a few she have had accused, threathened and name-called. I have tolerated it from the very beginning however I just put my foot down recently and since then she has lied low. But for some reason my intuition says she will not stop she can try but it has been who she is. If I had the option to move I had done it long before, its just recently a possibility of moving is avail next month however its not 100%. My question is how can I go about living in such environment? I don't like the feeling of having my defenses always up and always wondering how I can go about helping the situation not in the same way she does things. Thank you Wenzes for your time.
Here is the thing Khyra...it HAS TO become a normally of putting your defences up every time someone behaves in such a way. You will see: when you put sour foot down a couple of times, the person stops and starts respectint your boundaries (the firmer you are, the faster it happens)....you will see with time that you CAN relax again because you know the other one won‘t cross those boundaries. We isolate ourselves too much if we hope for others to protect our boundaries on their own. We have to make them aware every single time they cross them. And when a new person comes into your life, the sooner you set those boundaries, the less tension it will generate, the more relaxed you can be with them in the long run
@@Wenzes Will do Wenzes thank you for your reply. Thank you for your helpful presence for us infjs-and others.
I start to get used to them🤪blah like I care ! I just love scaring away ppl now 😛 going like nuts but make all the sense. Love my new vibe
Sometimes when we get rejected it IS because of us. Maybe we put out negative energy, and we have to take responsibility for that. Lord knows it isn't easy or pleasant to see a personal flaw, but if as INFJs we always seek the truth in everything, then we have to be willing to admit when something is our own fault.
BSJ , can you give examples???
Sure! No one is denying that...we are not talking about constructive criticism here though...this is about being rejected for who we are and if we keep trying to make people see us as a good people or learn our lesson, not take it personal and move on
@@Wenzes Yes, I am all too familiar with being rejected simply for who I am. A couple instances come to mind. The look on their face, was like they felt so threatened by my presence, when I was minding my own business! On the flip side though, occasionally someone will respond positively. It could be a smile from someone walking down the street, to a compliment. One time I was riding the subway in NYC and this woman sitting across from me was kinda staring at me. It made me uncomfortable and after a minute I said "What?". She said "Oh I was just thinking that you have really nice eyes". It totally made my day! So we need fear not--we will be appreciated too I believe! And it's really, really nice when it happens. You have nice eyes too btw Wenzes!
😊 thanks...yes, positive recognition is a wonderful thing.
Neverrrrr lol. I know what you mean absolutely. Lot of humility in those realizations where its just like shit I didn't see that.
After I've been rejected from my best friend and the fantasy world I've been making in which we r together more than any just friends or even soulmate,
Then I just now don't fear to be rejected, all I want to be myself, and I really discovered that this fear of rejection made me make disasters letterly I'M NOT AFRIAD NOW 😣
I really appreciate this video Wenzes, thank you so much for making all your videos! I just got rejected for the 3rd time recently and the pain of it today reminded me of your other video on rejection, which also has been soooooo helpful for me to understand, in order to stop thinking or feeling that there is something wrong with me. It's also helped me to get more clarification from multiple rejectors, and get confirmation that my high standards for integrity and Accountability are too challenging for them. I used to feel bad about my high standards and now I Love myself for Who I Am! I really appreciate your videos, they have done more for my understanding of what I need to heal, than years of therapy has
Wow. That was intense. However, it was even more enlightening. Great job here, and other recent videos with the key points in text👌🏿. Save this one for future reference!
Great! Happy it resonated with you 👍😊
Hello I am INFJ 26yrs old... I get it to knew very late a month before ... But I already been overcome it by specific set of skills from past 11yrs ... It's just not camouflage... But methodology to behave ...and I agree to major points but would suggest you to make videos precise pointed so you can attract large infjs nd rest world who would value infj's ... Like I have been done in my past decades helped many people in life span from 11yrs but they respect me now nd they use called weirdo in my childhood when I was 15yrs old... Twist nd turn table situation....
I don‘t really understand what you are suggesting. What topic do you think would attract more INFJ (as in what title for example)?
@@Wenzes hello I know you just said I don't really understand it's bcoz i am INFJ -A type person ...
Topics must be
"It's handling weirdo personality traits INFJs"
Then insist people on taking test ... that would confirm infj categories... (Every video start)
...
Just i am writing a book on (life's index ) it's under (life index foundation) which to help people alike but it's to attract all people ...
And if you are interested in working hand in hand we need to talk ... Ping me on fb "Abhilash More" (id ..abhilash.more.9216)
Being precise it's very hard for us when we explain... We just go on elaboration for long ...
And even infjs skip us due to it...
Thanks and regards...
Wenzes it’s so so true! I really enjoyed this video and I did get a lot out of it..
Thank you 😊 🙏🏽
Glad it was helpful 👍😊
Wonderful video, thank you ever so much. ❤️
Perfect again.
Loving you and your videos 😘 Bobby from the big Island of Hawaii 😁
👋 aloha 😊
This is really amazing. So helpful. And I’m so glad I found this channel!!!
Thank you!
I appreciate you. Very empowering. You are a very gifted teaching and I am really enjoying your life coach insight. Bless you.
Wow, I needed this 👍🏼
Happy to read that 😊
Thank you kindly ♥✍
So agreeing on “stuck on that person for their validation”. I feel that I need to really explain myself clearly so that I have no regrets even when relationships do not move to the right direction - and this is a moment when I come out of my shell and do not worry about losing face - because I would hate to regret not saying how I really feel about this person and would be wondering if things would have been different if I were to make it candid, even at the onset of a rejection. I need closure, and that clarification and validation would do it. On a different note, what is your zodiac, my fellow infjs? I’ve been curious about that correlation- I’m a cancer with Virgo rising..
Ah, I didn’t hear what you had to say - keep explaining is not necessary 😅 I think that’s true in work relationships- what I meant above is for personal relationships and to the person I’ve decided to open up and accept them into my life - but they rejected me..
You should write a book about infj
I did 😀 I just don‘t advertise it openly anymore...but you can still get access to it if you sign up for the free 7 day INFJ email course 👍
Love this video ❤️, thanks Wenzes
So inspiring - thank you ❤️
Thank you.
👍😊 my pleasure
Wenzes, how would you suggest making more INFJ friends, real life friends in my area of St. Petersburg FL? I want to find my tribe. Thank you.
When INFJ become muture?
Goose
💙
So youre saying if I believe that nobody will understand me (which is a lie), the truth is I'm thinking too small, I need to expand my reach?
Exactly! There are so many people in this world, different believe systems etc....reach out step by step into groups that more similar to us than the last group...if you keep repeating this you will surround yourself with likeminded people before you know i. Of course not in all areas...with some you will connect on certain things, with others on others things...but more and more you will feel you can connect through your authentic self
Is there any way that I can ask your advice about a specific situation in my life through message or email? I really hope I can afford your materials online but it is currently out of reach. Like for instance message you for a fee(hope its within my reach)
I Khyra, unfortunately I can't offer that...but if you like you can ask your question in the comments on a broader level and I can give you some tips
Thank you so much wenzes!