So this brought to light a definition of shame that most people don’t realize. We don’t feel shame because we “did something bad,” we feel it because we didn’t stand up for ourselves and we just “stood there and took it” from someone who made us feel like we did something bad when we did not!
Agreed great insight. TY. Often from childhood. What helped a friend was seeing her son at same age she was aware of her abuse. She saw she was only a kid. But we carry that child with us and often (not always) recreate the ‘family’ and ‘love’ we know. Helps feed allowing of abuse by new sources - emotional/physical. Often seen as love by inner child/teen. Shame of abused and abuser helps feed cycle. Victims often create victims. It’s when we see as victim we give power over us to others. But when see how/why when older we attracted certain behavior and situations that we start to feel empowered and break cycles and let go of shame. Unless and until abusers are helped (if willing/able) they continue to create victims and prob abusers. Men often carry shame longer from fear of looking weak. Some say women carry generational scars/shame in our DNA and microbiome back thru thousands of yrs of suppression and abuse. Anyway shame is common. Maybe teachers like Jim will help bring lasting change.
You've put it so well only childhood trauma survivors will understand. We just took it thinking maybe they are right, maybe if I don't fight back they will love me, maybe we don't have a right to be treated better.
Guilt is feeling bad when you’ve actually done something wrong. It says “I DID something wrong/bad.” Guilt is about something we DID. Shame says “ I AM wrong/bad. There’s something wrong with me.” It is a perspective on self rather than a behavior.
During our session, you mentioned shame and how it can impact a person. I looked into it further and right before coming to watch your video, i read a very good web page on defining shame. Then i came here and listened to this video. I think we automatically think that we dont feel shame but thats because we need a better understanding of what shame actually is. Its all very interesting. So today i read about Shame then i journaled about Shame then listened to this video and my somatic sensations has lessened. Need to continue on this road.
This is 💯 me. A lot of my "positive" traits are probably a result of toxic shame. This video hit me hard. How do you stop believing the lie and start believing you are good enough?
Nailed it shame is the RULE a lot of us grew up with because we felt we didn’t MEASURE up and that means young don’t belong which in turn is the worst thing that happened in old times BANISHMENT, which we continue to do to OURSELF. funny thing- it was wrong to be treated like that then, but they could be in the grave 10 years, but, WHOSE holding the hammer now?
Wow this sounds so much like shadow work Jim.. shame is a really huge topic, I love, love that you are talking about this.. thank you for the amazing content ..🙏🏼🖤
I never thought of shame in this way. I always thought it was about something one has done and feels bad about. I was balling through this whole video. I think you found my hidden emotion.
This was a God send to me. I’ve been studying mind body work, Dr Sarno, read Steve Ozanich’s book, etc. many years of trying to figure out my bodily symptoms, one after the other. I fit almost always of the signs you mentioned. How to dissolve it???
Very insightful, and I can relate 100%. Though I think the main emotion for me is guilt and the themes of being a *bad* person, undeserving of love, respect and the symptoms representing punishment. Can you maybe do a video on guilt?
This message is so valuable. Thank you. Too much on social media in last few yrs seems the opposite. I’m obv not incl extreme cases of depression/anxiety. All emotions are natural and if allowed can be learned from even if thoughts their based on aren’t accurate. Even some stress can be good. We’re meant to be whole not perfect. Human BEING. Life on earth can be a hard go. Making any emotion neg and something to be fixed IMO only adds to feeling of being broken. ✌️
Yes this is so me. Shame runs through my life on every level. Even felt a slight reduction in symptoms as you were speaking. Would love to hear more on how to heal from a shamed past x
Thank you, Jim for your great work! I appreciate very much what you are offering to us. It really is so helpful and enriching, especially this video! Bless you, have a wonderful 2024! Rike from Germany
@@TheVaultOfRemembrance OK I think I figured this out with reading a lot. How to heal, toxic shame, basically we need to be aware of our thoughts especially during moments we are triggered from somebody. This is incredibly hard to do and we need consistent practice on watching the thoughts and catching them in action. once and if you catch a shameful thought and you know because you feel bad inside, you basically want to completely surrender to that bad feeling ““ allowed in your body where is it in your body? What is it look like how big is it does it move around, you want to observe it tell the feeling you are allowed to be in my body. Look at it with love and nurture as you would a small baby. Don’t resist the feeling by wanting the feeling in your body because it is OK that it’s inside of your body. That is ultimately surrender acceptance, and letting go. We want to bring consciousness to the shame in our body and the way to do that is to be aware of the feeling when it arises, you are literally shining consciousness light onto that emotion which ultimately heals it, because it’s being brought to consciousness. I have been working on this heavily for the last months and I can tell you it works very well. I am feeling a lot better and less triggered the more I catch and accept and allow these shameful feelings in my body. It’s OK for them to be in us. It’s totally OK it’s just a sensation. It’s an emotion. It’s an energy force .
@sparkely1122 thanks. It makes sense. I guess I was confused on how to release it. I sit with bad feelings and emotions I even let them amplify, I just didn't know what to do from there.
@@TheVaultOfRemembrance yeah totally I was always really stuck on that part too. It just doesn’t make sense. I think we always just feel like we have to do something in order for something to go away. But the whole idea is to not want it to go away. You want to nurture those feelings and completely resist them from going away that’s how you release them they will naturally“” go away.” Simply by allowing them to be in the watching them and loving them. I healed a couple of chronic pain illnesses and nocturnal panic attacks by doing this. It’s very powerful just work at it practice it as much as you can read about it research it you’ll be all right ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Very thought- provoking. I always said shame doesn't resonate with me but this has really made me wonder. How can we tell if we're in denial or whether it doesn't apply?! Great video, thanks
Please never stop making these videos. This one really hit home. I feel as if this shame has more of an impact on my mental state personally. Do you have any advice on how to address this?
I initially thought, No definitely not me, but listening to you perhaps I need to dig deeper into this!! ❤ Thank You as always for your amazing work... Wishing you All the Best for 2024!
Jim, your videos stand out from the crowd! You bring such a depth of knowledge to this field. Just hearing your voice is calming to my nervous system ❤-Peggy
Thaaaaank you for this video, this was my childhood omg, and i am in chronic pain for 20 years... Is this from gabor matés books? I d love to solve it without going into blaming my parents, victimhood or retraumatizing myself... ❤
Have to prove ourselves, fear rejection, take the blame/swollow anger, hard on self, not standing up for self, people please to avoid abandonment, perfectionism, overly responsible, afraid to make mistakes, focus on appearance, wanting to hide, don’t feel lovable…
Jim, I was wondering if grief can do the same thing for somatic symptoms such as dizziness or lightheaded and anxiety? Or is it the shame of feeling grief that's causeing repression and so it comes out in symptoms.
Hi Jim, love this video… as all your videos! I’ve done a session with you before… was thinking to do another one, but was wondering if you know much about cranio cervical instability? Kind of navigating this diagnosis and my belief in tms. Wondering if you could have some insight….
Any thoughts. When I eat my neck pain that I have been experiencing for about 12 years goes away only to return after I stop eating or exercising. Is “Frozen Shoulder” TMS?
Frozen shoulder is probably one of the most "tms-y" conditions you can have... same with any "repetitive strains" or chronic pains. If pain/discomfort comes on AFTER, but not WHILE doing an activity, it's very likely tms.
So this brought to light a definition of shame that most people don’t realize. We don’t feel shame because we “did something bad,” we feel it because we didn’t stand up for ourselves and we just “stood there and took it” from someone who made us feel like we did something bad when we did not!
Ah! Yes! Thank you for the insight 💡
Agreed great insight. TY. Often from childhood. What helped a friend was seeing her son at same age she was aware of her abuse. She saw she was only a kid. But we carry that child with us and often (not always) recreate the ‘family’ and ‘love’ we know. Helps feed allowing of abuse by new sources - emotional/physical. Often seen as love by inner child/teen. Shame of abused and abuser helps feed cycle. Victims often create victims. It’s when we see as victim we give power over us to others. But when see how/why when older we attracted certain behavior and situations that we start to feel empowered and break cycles and let go of shame. Unless and until abusers are helped (if willing/able) they continue to create victims and prob abusers. Men often carry shame longer from fear of looking weak. Some say women carry generational scars/shame in our DNA and microbiome back thru thousands of yrs of suppression and abuse. Anyway shame is common. Maybe teachers like Jim will help bring lasting change.
Honestly great insight
You've put it so well only childhood trauma survivors will understand. We just took it thinking maybe they are right, maybe if I don't fight back they will love me, maybe we don't have a right to be treated better.
Guilt is feeling bad when you’ve actually done something wrong. It says “I DID something wrong/bad.” Guilt is about something we DID. Shame says “ I AM wrong/bad. There’s something wrong with me.” It is a perspective on self rather than a behavior.
Thank You for clarifying.
I didn't even realise was in me...yes, embedded like forever 😢
Proving yourself to others. Always feeling that you’re never meeting the mark.
I got hit with palpitations listening to this, triggered! But grateful to feel what my body already knows
Deep down I don't feel deserving of healing. Shame for sure from a childhood believing my Dad despised me
During our session, you mentioned shame and how it can impact a person. I looked into it further and right before coming to watch your video, i read a very good web page on defining shame. Then i came here and listened to this video. I think we automatically think that we dont feel shame but thats because we need a better understanding of what shame actually is. Its all very interesting.
So today i read about Shame then i journaled about Shame then listened to this video and my somatic sensations has lessened. Need to continue on this road.
Great video Jim. Your right; shame is massively overlooked in the mind-body space.
This is 💯 me. A lot of my "positive" traits are probably a result of toxic shame. This video hit me hard. How do you stop believing the lie and start believing you are good enough?
Thank you so much for the insight. Realizing these traits is 50% of process of healing shame
Thankyou thankyou thankyou
So much love and gratitude for you brother .
🙏💚🫂💕
Great topic, Jim. This really is a big one for many of us who were raised on shame and fear. 🙏🏼
Nailed it shame is the RULE a lot of us grew up with because we felt we didn’t MEASURE up and that means young don’t belong which in turn is the worst thing that happened in old times BANISHMENT, which we continue to do to OURSELF. funny thing- it was wrong to be treated like that then, but they could be in the grave 10 years, but, WHOSE holding the hammer now?
Wow this sounds so much like shadow work Jim.. shame is a really huge topic, I love, love that you are talking about this.. thank you for the amazing content ..🙏🏼🖤
I never thought of shame in this way. I always thought it was about something one has done and feels bad about. I was balling through this whole video. I think you found my hidden emotion.
Excellent talk on shame! It exposed symptoms that I never would have recognized. Thank you!
This was a God send to me. I’ve been studying mind body work, Dr Sarno, read Steve Ozanich’s book, etc. many years of trying to figure out my bodily symptoms, one after the other. I fit almost always of the signs you mentioned. How to dissolve it???
Thanks so much for this video, I identify wholly with your explanation of shame, I will explore further with an open heart. Love and light. Julia x
Very insightful, and I can relate 100%. Though I think the main emotion for me is guilt and the themes of being a *bad* person, undeserving of love, respect and the symptoms representing punishment. Can you maybe do a video on guilt?
This message is so valuable. Thank you. Too much on social media in last few yrs seems the opposite. I’m obv not incl extreme cases of depression/anxiety. All emotions are natural and if allowed can be learned from even if thoughts their based on aren’t accurate. Even some stress can be good. We’re meant to be whole not perfect. Human BEING. Life on earth can be a hard go. Making any emotion neg and something to be fixed IMO only adds to feeling of being broken. ✌️
This is me 100%. WOW!
Cried all the way through. Definitely resonate.
Healing you are..
@johnnylovessheki thank you, that means a lot, I sometimes wonder....thank you for the reassurance, much appreciated. 🙏🏻 🤲
I resonate as well. Literally felt it in my body while listening to Jim.......
I haven’t read dr Sarno’s book yet I’m going to go to your website and see what you have available
This is 100% me. Thank you Jim, this was incredibly clarifying.
Yes this is so me. Shame runs through my life on every level. Even felt a slight reduction in symptoms as you were speaking. Would love to hear more on how to heal from a shamed past x
Thank you, Jim for your great work! I appreciate very much what you are offering to us. It really is so helpful and enriching, especially this video! Bless you, have a wonderful 2024! Rike from Germany
Great video Jim… you are the best ❤️ Gabor Mate is brilliant.. his new book The myth of normal is well worth reading 📖
Wow. All of the above. I can so relate. Thank you for this. I will use this to keep moving forward.
NO WAY 😮 can u do a video on how to heal this? I have 35 long years of toxic shame well 30 … how do we go about healing it?
I know, all these videos tell you all about it but NEVER how to really heal it.
@@TheVaultOfRemembrance OK I think I figured this out with reading a lot. How to heal, toxic shame, basically we need to be aware of our thoughts especially during moments we are triggered from somebody. This is incredibly hard to do and we need consistent practice on watching the thoughts and catching them in action. once and if you catch a shameful thought and you know because you feel bad inside, you basically want to completely surrender to that bad feeling ““ allowed in your body where is it in your body? What is it look like how big is it does it move around, you want to observe it tell the feeling you are allowed to be in my body. Look at it with love and nurture as you would a small baby. Don’t resist the feeling by wanting the feeling in your body because it is OK that it’s inside of your body. That is ultimately surrender acceptance, and letting go. We want to bring consciousness to the shame in our body and the way to do that is to be aware of the feeling when it arises, you are literally shining consciousness light onto that emotion which ultimately heals it, because it’s being brought to consciousness.
I have been working on this heavily for the last months and I can tell you it works very well. I am feeling a lot better and less triggered the more I catch and accept and allow these shameful feelings in my body. It’s OK for them to be in us. It’s totally OK it’s just a sensation. It’s an emotion. It’s an energy force .
@sparkely1122 thanks. It makes sense. I guess I was confused on how to release it. I sit with bad feelings and emotions I even let them amplify, I just didn't know what to do from there.
@@TheVaultOfRemembrance yeah totally I was always really stuck on that part too. It just doesn’t make sense. I think we always just feel like we have to do something in order for something to go away. But the whole idea is to not want it to go away. You want to nurture those feelings and completely resist them from going away that’s how you release them they will naturally“” go away.” Simply by allowing them to be in the watching them and loving them. I healed a couple of chronic pain illnesses and nocturnal panic attacks by doing this. It’s very powerful just work at it practice it as much as you can read about it research it you’ll be all right ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Jim is doing an amazing job shining a light on all this.
These traits are all also characteristics of Codependency! Thank you so much!,How does one heal? ❤
Very thought-
provoking. I always said shame doesn't resonate with me but this has really made me wonder. How can we tell if we're in denial or whether it doesn't apply?! Great video, thanks
Wow i recognised sooo much ty Jim ❤
This resonates with me. Interested to learn more. Thx
This makes so much sense. Thank you for sharing.
Yes, yes, and YES!!
Wow, this hit the nail on the head!❤
Loved this! Excited for your future video on facing and embracing shame.
Please never stop making these videos. This one really hit home.
I feel as if this shame has more of an impact on my mental state personally. Do you have any advice on how to address this?
Absolutely! It's the one beneath the floorboards running 'the show' -can take a life down and often does. Enough X
I initially thought, No definitely not me, but listening to you perhaps I need to dig deeper into this!! ❤ Thank You as always for your amazing work... Wishing you All the Best for 2024!
Great video and topic Jim. Very overlooked topic. I had all of these.
Thanks for sharing this I totally resonate with this
Oof, why you calling me out like that? 😅. Great video, gotta learn how to work on this.
Jim, your videos stand out from the crowd! You bring such a depth of knowledge to this field. Just hearing your voice is calming to my nervous system ❤-Peggy
Brilliant! Remain grateful for you, Jim... Keep doing what you are doing. You are helping so many of us. Happy holidays + God Bless. 🤍🙏🏼
Thaaaaank you for this video, this was my childhood omg, and i am in chronic pain for 20 years... Is this from gabor matés books? I d love to solve it without going into blaming my parents, victimhood or retraumatizing myself... ❤
Wow wow wow this decriped me to an perfect tee… so how to we “deal and reconcile” it?
Shame=belief we are not enough
Have to prove ourselves, fear rejection, take the blame/swollow anger, hard on self, not standing up for self, people please to avoid abandonment, perfectionism, overly responsible, afraid to make mistakes, focus on appearance, wanting to hide, don’t feel lovable…
Love this ❤
Thank you SO much Jim!
Many thanks for discussing this topic. Can you recommend any books where I can learn more?
hello - hola Jim 🙂 thank you so much for your contributions, very enriching (existe en inglés ?). love and greetings from marbella (spain)
Jim, I was wondering if grief can do the same thing for somatic symptoms such as dizziness or lightheaded and anxiety? Or is it the shame of feeling grief that's causeing repression and so it comes out in symptoms.
Hi Jim... You Nailed it.. Shame...across the board..
Hi Jim, love this video… as all your videos!
I’ve done a session with you before… was thinking to do another one, but was wondering if you know much about cranio cervical instability? Kind of navigating this diagnosis and my belief in tms. Wondering if you could have some insight….
@clairedavies3282 • maybe consult a sacrocranial therapist Claire? ❤
Reminds me of how my late father used to brow beat me as a child and young adult. Probably because my growing intellgence threatened him.
Any thoughts. When I eat my neck pain that I have been experiencing for about 12 years goes away only to return after I stop eating or exercising. Is “Frozen Shoulder” TMS?
Frozen shoulder is probably one of the most "tms-y" conditions you can have... same with any "repetitive strains" or chronic pains.
If pain/discomfort comes on AFTER, but not WHILE doing an activity, it's very likely tms.
How do you chamge this?
Sounds like you're describing me...
Every society uses shame, it’s evolutionary
Big topic any way to remove and annihilate this troll of an emotion, society uses this emotion to control and manipulate thw other.
Blimey.I recognised myself a lot in this video