Have any of you dealt with infertility? What have been your experiences? I just filmed a video on the shame that can happen around infertility and I would love to get your thoughts. Here it is- pls weigh in: INFERTILITY: How to Deal with Shame & Stigma & How to Find Hope. A Doctor Weighs in ua-cam.com/video/4fMO_3_6cmc/v-deo.html
There's no 'shame and stigma' in infertility: it's simply a 'fact of life' we have to deal with. BUT, infertility makes a powerful argument for dumping 'monogamy'. There are many more reasons people can provide benefits for each other besides making babies.. (eg an otherwise very compatible and mutually-effective couple can create a GREAT life for themselves and for others on many levels.) BUT the fertile partner has every right to want to create descendants and preserve his seed/DNA. The obvious solution is to have as many permanent partners as possible; a situation where EVERYBODY has their needs met: both immediately and down the ages. EVERY species except pompous/self-important homo-sapiens understands that. (ever seen a bitch in heat relate to umpteen dogs??) 'Monogamy' is a religious-based SOCIAL rule that makes 'the masses' much easier to control and otherwise take advantage of.(eg. The same pack of dogs that travels miles to try their luck NEVER pay taxes to feed hordes of politicians/bureaucrats; what 'groupings are called for are more generally known as 'families'. (eg a pride of lions) and in such a mutually-supportive 'family' conditions like 'infertility' are irrelevant. Every member contributes in the best way they can. eg: an infertile lioness may make a GREAT babysitter, which allows the other lionesses to make their own contributions: eg hunting to help feed everybody. Mother Nature has successfully managed life for billions of years, and we should look to her for our lessons and directions.
I don't like performing orals on a man, and I don't like being touched. I like being single and owning my own home and having my own money and living alone. I prefer to travel around. I don't need sex to make me happy. The only time I would have sex is when I am married, in-love and have children.
I’ve been divorced and abstinent for 6 years now…no shame here hunny! I’m proud of being healthy (physically, emotionally, & mentally) and want to stay healthy 😊
But no sex also means no children and that means fewer people working and paying taxes to look after you when you are older, pay for pensions for the retired. medical care, or nursing home care etc. Its a serious thing for the whole of society. I understand why people give up on relationships (because people are crazy and selfish these days) but so many people are on anti-depressants and psyche meds and that can kill your sex drive .Something like 50% of women are on medication. Our society has a lot of problems. Men are messed up too.
@@tubester4567 Children are not obligated to care for the parents in their old age. There’s plenty of women that have popped out a bakers dozen just to die alone in the nursing home without a visit or phone call in 10 years. If they want to, they’ll take care of you. If they don’t they won’t. Then you’ll have had all those kids for nothing since that’s all they meant to you.
@@denyshadials5702 Its more serious than that though. To provide everything we rely on everyday takes workers. Someone has to grow our food. we need transport drivers to disperse our food and goods, we need people to build roads and maintain the water pipes so you can drink water, sanitation workers to remove our waste. Someone needs to work at restaurants and fast food and gas stations to fill your car. There are many experts and scientists who say collapsing populations is a huge threat to humanity and our standard of living.
It’s been 16 years since my husband I have had intercourse . He has prostate cancer and with that he has ED . We have had intimate moments here and there. We’ve been together 25 years and married almost 22 years. We love each other and that’s all that matters to us . He’s 71 and I just turned 65 a few days ago. We can still enjoy each other in so many ways other than intercourse. When you are with the right person , you will do whatever it takes to make your relationship work.
You go lady the best to you two.. I always thought it was just me. Operations and things and when you're not with just one special person makes the years go by. Yes then you find yourself in your 60's. Your heart remains open for love though. 2023.
I’m almost 40 and still a virgin. This is interesting. I may get married soon, I’m still considering my options at the moment…so good to know. I have zero problems, my periods are still very regular, and I’m in excellent health thank god.
A good deal???? Swap a healthy sex-life for regular periods? Strange creatures, females. (Try haggling! You might be able to get TWO periods per month!)
I have gone without sex for YEARS (around 8) simply because I am demisexual so I have no arousal without the emotional connection first. It's perfectly natural for some of us to just not desire sex much. It's not that we don't enjoy it, just don't want it right then. So anyone feeling shamed about not having sex for a long time, it's completely fine. Lots of love to all of you ❤
@@carine4318demisexual isn’t a thing. That’s just a fancy way of labeling yourself to make you sound more interesting. Not being sexually aroused until you know the person is normal or at least it was before hookup culture.
I haven’t had sex in over 8 years. I’m just not willing to put myself out there enough to trust again. I respect my body and I’m not willing to give it up to anyone that I can’t trust.
I once went to my Dr for my pap test. The nurse who did the test asked me "when was the last time I had sex because my vigina was too tight". I told her I was abstaining. She was rather shocked. I was confused as to why she was acting shocked. The society we live in is just making it hard. Thank you Dr for assuring us that " It's OK.
I can relate. When the HPV vaccine came out, the nurse gave me some literature and asked me if I wanted her to tell the doctor I wanted the vaccine. I told her that I was sexually inactive, and asked if I needed it despite that. She said, “But you had sex before, but just a while ago right?” I said no. She could not fathom that I had never had sex.
A lot of this is not true. And it dowsnt keep getting "infinitely tighter amd tighter " based on how long you abstain. It can get SMALLER but that's not the same as tight.. tight would be like if a person got injections in their walls to make the FIT tighter... The kind of smaller it gets from inactivity would be like how a peach, strawberry or plu m gets smaller... It's ATROPHY.. like if a body builder gets atrophy on an arm and it gets super wimpy . Also it CAN close too, because I know a close friend who said that her Dr said ONE SIDE of her vagina is closed, and that's because she's a lesbian who does NO PENETRATION AT ALL, and she's 52. ( one side as in to the the left side of her cervix , it's closed. If someone forced something in there's she'd rip and need surgery
I don't believe you but if it's true all powers to you, I know women that say that same thing then the next minute she start talking about having a drug problem in the past and was prostituting herself to everybody.
??????? Your vagina/uterus/boobs/bum/etc are a 'gift from god': and they're designed to fulfil a PURPOSE!. (Gen.3:16) Celibacy is a defiance of god's will. A SIN! Shame on you!
I never thought I would be celibate cuz I was always sexually active from 14-50 , and I'm really surprised how great I feel. I turned it over to my FATHER of LIGHTS✨👑✨
Pride for all women no matter their choice is more appropriate. A woman who takes control of her body and decides to experience sexual pleasure is an equally good choice.
@wjperdue you are correct. And awake it is to many STD’S out here to allow ourselves to be pressured with this sex nonsense. Stay strong it is nothing but a trap to produce more STD’s. That means more aids medication. Ladies do not feed into this garbage. For all we know a lot of them ain;t nothing but sex pots talking out the side of their necks. Ladies stay woke.
I’m 10 years of celibacy. I am a widow. My husband passed 7 years ago to cancer. We were together for 30 years, married for 25 of those years. I miss him everyday. My everything, my soulmate.
it's not about that. It's about wanting it. I'm a widow too and it's just not big deal. I miss him too much. I've got a vibrator. That's plenty. @@hollandhollywood329
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm hoping for your healing back to happiness and new love, so he can rest in peace knowing the love of his life wasn't permanently scarred.
Good for you I was 25 when I got married asa virgin I’ve been married for almost 40 years my husband never pressured me to have sex I had a baby at 29 I’m 65 and the sex stopped for me at 55 I had breast cancer and my husband is ok with it we’re very close and I love that about him he says he loves me the I am ..
I am 86 and met a man 86 . I visit him on the weekend and we have sexual activity every weekend and we feel so much love and relaxation . We have been seeing each other a year. Its never too late if you find someone you love.
Ive been abstinent for almost 6 years and I’ve been more emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, financially healthier and career driven (and accomplished) than I’ve ever been in my life. My decision wasn’t by design. I just rather go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning with my self-respect, dignity, pride and be in my right mind….. I just refuse to give my body to someone and play the “let’s do it and see what happens” game. I know this isn’t right for everyone, but it’s been a soul saver for me because I’ve not been consumed by nor trapped in a toxic, painful soul tie with anyone since my last relationship and this has protected and even elevated my level of peace so I can do great things in this limited lifetime. As beautiful as sex can be with the right person, sex is too overrated in this highly sexualized culture we live in - as if people don’t eventually have to get out that bed at some point in time. In fact, most people are out of that bed more than rolling around it in. Then what do you have? Usually the drama, dysfunction and displeasure of the relationship to deal with. I’d rather spend the rest of my finite time here self-actualizing my God given purpose because honestly I think I’ve had enough gratuitous, fruitless, dead end sex to last me a lifetime.
U do not need 2 apologies 2 any1 it is true spuritually u kicked them lilith off and physically carry all Ur energy so whatever u touch prospers . Be grateful av personally been off and know the difference, liberation & rightfullness and alertness on all levels. 4 me it is the best FREEDOM AV EVER GOT, whuuuuu ❤❤❤❤❤ HOWEVER, This is not 4 evry1 pips so choose Ur struggle.
@@DrJenCaudle I never did understand the hamerican definition for 'dating'. (eg. 'I have a date for a dental appointment'.) But clearly YOU can't get a man in your pants. I think the term is 'Sour grapes'. Try LESS make-up and a more genuine smile. Or get a blind boyfriend.
🫣🤣🤣😂😂😂💔I guess am on the same page with you. Most men these days can’t control their libidos. They go about sexing everything sexable 😅 and being healthy is paramount. You can’t have repercussions for someone’s mistakes.
There is a huge difference between sex that is healthy, safe, and pleasurable (mentally and physically), and sex that is not. A lot of the benefits of sex you mentioned won’t occur without these things. It’s a beautiful thing for people who find that but I could see it being an uninteresting activity for those who cannot. It’s honestly a shame that not all sex is healthy and safe. It should be the norm.
I was abstinent for 17 years. After my relationship ended, I was a single parent with 2 children, so I put it to the back of my mind and did what I had to do to raise happy healthy children. I wasn't interested in another relationship, so it wasn't hard. I wasn't interested in "no strings attached" sex. I have now raised my children to adulthood, met a wonderful guy and hopping back on the saddle was no problem. It's like riding a bike..you never really forget how 😅
@@mariocondello2353 in what world would u think women don’t have sex for this long? It’s been 2 years for me, I focus on my children. Dont care about sex or men. We exist. Just because YOU are out here fucking whores doesn’t mean all women are. You’re giving alpha male/possible incel vibes. Grow up Mario….
1) Decreased elasticity 2) Lower libido, increased libido, or same libido 3) Increased anxiety 4) Longer time to get aroused/ Need more to get aroused. There is no shame in choosing what's best for you!!
It is the marital duty of a wife to provide her husband the sex he needs as men have 17 times (1,700%) the sex hormone testosterone as women. When the wife shuts down shop what exactly should the husband do?
I did not have sex until I was in my 30s and got married. Married 15 yrs and sex had been amazing since day 1. Was very fertile and birthed 3 kids back to back with no meds. According to docs the old V has been beautifully healthy. Don't feel no fear! Waiting to have sex with your partner or spouse is healthy emotionally and physically.
My daughter waited until she was married. I think she was 33 or 34 but now she's in the middle of a divorce. Unfortunately, she married a narcissist. And right now she's not seeing anyone. She has a breeched baby girl by him.
Thanks for sharing 👍 I'm in my 30s in the same situation. I just can't lay with someone if I don't feel comfortable being physically, emotionally and mentally vulnerable with. No longer working to survive (like my teens and 20s), I'm finally stepping into the dating pool
@@blusarabi 16 or 17 I'm assuming you are asking about my first sexual experience. If you are asking about my first and only child.....I had her at 23.
You shouldn't assume "healthy mental". You might have suppressed trauma or bonding issues. Or if men are not interested in you as well, maybe eating disorder or something that might need fixing
@@AndyKing1000 my 'healthy mental' here means by not involve in relationship, I avoid having thing like argument, sadness, etc. but in life of course I do have some stress, up and down. And no I don't have any eating disorder.
Sounds like u relate a relationship with arguments and sadness so u might have experienced watching ur parents fighting and now think that is what relationships are like. Relationships are supposed to bring love and happiness. Maybe u should see a therapist. 29 and never dated is not normal.
Im working on 9 yrs of celibacy due to sexual abuse. It was a WAKE up call for me to stop being promiscuous 🙏 No sex= peace , no guys popping up for booty calls and drive by sex, no diseases, feeling cleaner, no drama & BS, etc etc etc 🙏
I feel like my decision to stop having sex was because the people I have run into are NOT worth it. I do feel I have lost interest in bad sex and worse levels of intimacy. So, 13 years later, it would have to be someone I enjoyed having sex with in the past and that won't happen. Definitely not believing the thirsty boys out there.
😭 I love this comment section… I’ve been working on my abstinence for a while, it’s difficult when you’re surrendered by a community who don’t give sex the same importance as you do… but getting to this comment section has been a relief, thanks for sharing. I feel so supported.
My story was abstinence for 23 years and was not ashamed. However, my gf laughed and thought it was absurd. When I met my partner I was very nervous and anxious but it's wonderful after 4 years in our relationship. I experienced extreme dryness, but that is now corrected. By the way, I am 68 yrs old, and my partner is 56 yrs old. He chased me until he captured me. ❤🎉😊 Thank you doctor!!
@joanbrady3088 Hi Joan, Well, before we consummated our relationship, I went to my doctor, and she knew I was dry from the examination. She suggested KY-Jelly and some others. I purchased the jelly, but after about 6 months into our relationship, I no longer needed it. The doctor said my vagina forgot how to get lubricated and that it would take time. He had to learn that foreplay took a little longer for me. I hope that helped you.
How sad! WHY TF do yoiu suppose god created you (among countless others all the way back to Eve) with a vagina, uterus, boobs, wriggly-bum and all the other good bits if you weren't supposed to USE them??!
@@gargi9319 Mariage is a political invention. God nowhere demands it. He just built Eve with all the fun bits FOR A REASON, and told her to got to it at Adam's demand. Gen.3:16
I find that it's not the sex itself that I'm nervous about it's the kind of people out there that scares me about having sex again after years of not having it.
@@andreaberryman5354 sis the thing is things have changed so much. People are not so caring these days because of the availability of p*rn so easily so people can't be bothered to make an effort and not only that they expect you to be a p*rn star in bed 😅 I'm not that desperate.
I understand what you are saying I've met some guys but, none of which I wanted to give myself to not because I was afraid they were not worthy of my cookies.
I will be 60 in a few weeks. It has been 8.5 years for me. My partner, husband is a mentally ill disabled combat Veteran. We have been together for 20 years. Married 2. He says he's just not interested & that touching me feels wrong like Im his Little Sister. I am longing for intimacy. I attract other men without trying to but I politely ignore them. These comments have brought me hope & inspiration because I seriously do not know what to do. The 86 year olds are so inspiring and sweet. Love it. I remain in prayer.🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I wish you all the best! The tough part, your man is not the same person you married and maybe never will be again. It seems that it may be impossible for him to understand your needs and desires. I hope that you can get some professional marriage advice. Coping with this alone must torture you and cause a ton of stress. Also, I am assuming that you are the one who he is dependent on for food, clothing, shelter and everyday care. The situation can be described sort of like this. Your in an airplane, the oxygen mask drops down and the pilot says to put the oxygen mask on yourself first and then see if your able to help someone else. Please put yourself first! What can the Veterans Administration do to help you? Does he need 24 hour 7 days a week care? Is he safe alone if you need to shop and do the everyday things in life? I can't say what is right for you to do. Please live the best life you can. I think that you need to do what is best for you today.
@@Elisabeta.Marina Platitudes are nice and easy to say or write about. My question, is there any real chance that this situation will ever get better? I mean after 8.5 years of only one person caring? I see it as no longer sustainable. There isn't a good relationship here. We all want and need that human connection. Has he left her mentally or does he even know who she is at this point? If so, it becomes more than one person can handle. I have seen this happen before. I was the so called bad guy by some who helped a relative by placing her husband in dedicated 24 /7 care. This was a medical problem. In that case he had access to the garage and refused to give up his keys. Also I was afraid that the stress she was under would destroy her health.
@@stevel9308 Marriage is more then romance and sex, mainly is helping the partener, this is what married men tell me, married women, maybe you are not married.
@@Elisabeta.Marina Your choice. You would destroy your health and life for a vegetable. I know that sounds bad. It's reality. If I were not able to have a clue as to what is going on, my wife has every right and my permission to step away. It is about her health and wellbeing. Needless to say that is my idea of how it has to be. Why destroy two lives? Have you ever been there anyway? The lady I helped was my mother. Yes. That was tough. I had to save her! I think if it had went on longer she would have died of stress right there, and very soon. It was also about his safety.
Keep it up hun ❤ I'm proud of you ❤ Trust me you're not missing out on anything, there's too much toxicity and bad energy out here. I hope you find your soulmate and good luck! ❤
I haven’t had sex since April 27th 2006 at about 7:36pm and have no plans to make love again until God blesses me with the man He has for me…I’ve had more than enough sex to last me several life times and from what I hear…nothing (sex wise) so I’m good!!!! At this point in my life (60) years old, I don’t mind waiting until my change comes!😊
We waited for marriage. We were 23 when we got married. My husband and I have been married for 32 years. Waiting was the best thing, we got to learn together what each other likes. Sex has changed over the years as we had children and then the kids grew up and sex changed again, then we got older and things changed a bit and then some sickness and it changed again but it never gets boring with all the changes that come in life. I personally think sex just gets better and better because you learn so much about each other at different stages of your life together. I’m so thankful for my husband and I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. ❤
Same …I got married at 25, and I’m so glad that we waited until we were married before we had sex, for us it was the right choice. We met in our early 20s and we had time to really build our relationship on trust and being great friends, then when we got married we became lovers. Sex isn’t everything imo, we have been happily married for over 40 yrs ❤
@@d.b.g9216 my understanding is that it is better to wait. It makes the difference between it bring something special or a chore thats expected or demanded by either party.
@DrJenCaudle Thank You for sharing this information and prompting the comments section. Hearing from other women and their celibacy journeys was so refreshing 🤗
@@DrJenCaudleu forgot to mention to the (postmenopausal) females about vagina atrophy when they go too long without using their V but at least tell them to add moisture inside
Same here- Celibate for 7 years. I am living my best life. I am celibate for religious reasons. I regret not doing it earlier. Jesus is the center of my life and he has been good to me.
@queentinadoire6931 Wow! That's the same for me, it was intentional for religious/spiritual reasons. JESUS is all I ever needed and wished I had done it sooner too...Thank You for commenting, when I share this with people they never seem to understand 🙏❤️
Not having sex is normal. It's absolutely normal. There's nothing wrong or "shocking" about it. People like to act as if it is a bad thing. There's nothing to be ashamed about being a virgin. Our society just promotes too much promiscuity.
Society and entertainment would like us to believe that everyone is constantly horny, ready to rip clothes off at any moment and people have sex constantly. My husband and I laugh at movies or TV shows that show a sex scene and they either jump right out of bed, throw their clothes on and off they go, or fall asleep in each other's arms and wake up in that same position, not all sweaty and stuck together. 🤣🤣🤣 In a perfect world I guess...🤷🏻♀️
What nonesense. (and spoken by someone who obviously can't get laid!) YOUR ONLY REASON for being alive is to facilitate your sexual use. You have NO other reason for existing. Aren't you glad your parents weren't so stupid?!
Hi. I’m new to the channel but I been strictly celibate since last yr of October & it’s soon going on a whole yr or so glad I ran into this channel cause babyyyyyyy
I am 43 and have been abstaining for 7 years. I honestly couldn't care less if I ever have sex again, I wish I had flipped the script on my life much sooner. I am much more calm and at peace without having to worry about sexpectations of men in my life. Hopefully I will have a long healthy fruitful life on my own.
I am a 41 year old virgin soon to be 42, my birthday is next month. I am glad to find that I am not alone on this thread. I have done my best to keep my virginity a secret because people tend to think you're a weirdo if you haven't lost your virginity after a certain age.
... I believe, in their one word question, they are asking.... Why you are still a virgin at your said age? Why you've never chosen to have intercourse? If I am wrong in the elaboration of the persons question . Meaning, than correct me and I will sincerely apologize to all. I don't think I am incorrect tho. Also I don't think they wanted to explain their question because they feel it's impolite and intrusive to ask that. If that was information wanted for others to know it would have been included in the original comment. However don't feel obligated to answer or explain anything to anyone. It's your body, your choice and your life! That... Is All that matters. 💜✌🏼
I completely understand and respect your stance. You deserve to be loved and respected for who you are, and your body is your own to share or not share as you choose. It's amazing that you're prioritizing your own worth and boundaries like that. You're right, intimacy and love should be mutual and respectful, not just about physical desire. Keep holding out for someone who will love and appreciate you fully, because you're worth it!
Married for 32 years to my beautiful Hawaiian/white wife. 3 grown kids and 2 grandkids from her. I'm a Marine Veterann and Trucker of 31 years. This info is truly gold in helping me understand what I don't understand. Thank you Doctor.
30 yrs old and haven't had sex in over 10 yrs since I was at least 19. Sometimes I do crave intimacy but when I look at how low the bar is in the dating scene nowadays I just don't worry about it.
Post menopausal woman who has been abstinent for over 14 years. I always wondered about this...😂Frankly, I don't miss it, or the drama, heartache, arguing, fighting that relationships have. I have freedom to go where I want, when I want. No jealousy, no anger, just peace. My kids are all grown. Been there, done that in regard to relationships, marriage, engagements. Not having sex gives me peace of mind that I won't catch a VD from a promiscuous man, who sows his oats like a bull. At 54, I know who I am, what I want and what I don't want. I am still attracted to men, but I have no interest in dating or pursuing any relationships. Anyone else out there who is content at this point in their life?
YES! YES ! I feel the same way as you n others. I think people rush into relationships to satisfy sexual parts more than any other. We should b concerned about all the other parts n put the sex on back burner to b honest ! However due to society and pressure it's about sex! I am surprised to see all the comments but happy. Happy to know I'm not alone on this. I've been on my own for 10 years give or take n let me say I feel as you do. Dont have anyone to answer to r any of the list you mention!
Yes! 💯. 57 now and I just don’t have the time or energy for the drama. Shoot, had my first blind date in years a week ago and I’m being “love bombed”. I’m like “take a step back bud, I’m a little too independent for that”, lol. We haven’t even connected beyond the superficial 🤦♀️🙄
Wow, other than the kids part, I literally could have written this. (for me it is 18 years) I am so happy and fulfilled in my life and it just keeps getting better! IF someone comes along that fits right in (pun intended?) Great. If not....I'm gooooood!
I was molested as a child, I had two older brothers and their friends started sexualizing me and having sex with me at 13. My concept of sex was askew because I was taught that sex was just something you did because a guy wanted it and it didn’t matter what I felt. I got into a relationship with someone I thought I loved and loved me back (was a boy from when I was 13) we were in our early 30’s. Long story short he sexually abused me along with mentally emotionally and physically abused me. Now I have been abstinent from sex for the last seven years and I haven’t been more happy about my body and myself for the first time in my life.
wow so sorry for this, this is what happens to us when our parents fail to talk to us about what is right and wrong, in terms of this kind of behavior.
awww darling, I'm so sorry you experienced those horrid betrayals. I am so glad you are in a space where you love your body. With time, you will also engage and enjoy sex when you are ready. I am working on taking ownership and discovering healthy set because I have experienced molestation during childhood and at other stages in life. I appreciate coming across women who share the experiences and impact, especially when through healing, they have made improvements. It gives me hope and certainty that it wasn't my fault. Thanks for sharing.
I don't believe it is a one or the other choice. You can be devoted to God and have faith with the desire of having that special close personal relationship with another human being. That is what gives your life additional meaning. Life can be rough and tuff sometimes, and having another person to share your life is another dimension of the spiritual experience. God also gave us the intimacy and pleasure of sex! Be choosy, select someone with your values and goals.
Why would you do that? Absolutely be the best you can be, try to make the right choices but you will make mistakes, we all do. What I would say is don't let religion get in the way of living your life, there is, in my view, no need to clutter your day to day existence with all that, it's just unnecessary. There's good and bad absolutely everywhere, believing in any God will not exempt you from experiencing any of that.
I’m so glad I found your video. I’m 45 and I’ve only had one sexual partner, which was my ex husband. We’ve been divorced for 5 years now and I haven’t been sexually active since the divorce. When I told my friends I only had one sexual partner my entire life, they literally laughed and were in shock. I’ve been celibate for 5 years but I’m ready to find love again. I have no regrets about my decision to remain celibate because I had to heal from my emotional trauma first. Now my only fear is getting hurt again. Thanks for your video.
SISTER! TAKE YOUR TIME AND TRY TO KEEP YOUR PEACE WHY YOU HAVE IT…BECAUSE THESE MEN NOWADAYS A LOT OF THEM OLDER MEN ARE MESSING WITH THESE YOUNG ASS WOMEN…AND LYING AND ON THE DOWN LOW! SO YOU BE VERY CAREFUL! OUT IN THIS WORLD 🌎 I BEEN BY MYSELF NOW FOR 8 YEARS! AND I THANK GOD! FOR MY PEACE OF MIND!
There's nothing like having that peace of mind and tranquility in life. After my divorce from my narcissistic husband, I went 15 years of celibacy. Actually, I discovered it to be empowering. My health was great, and every body part works fine. As a healthy straight woman, I never thought I would say that 'sex is overrated'. 😊😊😊
When I was pregnant with my fourth child at 28 years old people thought I was between 16 and 18 years old. So does that mean that if I had no kids I would look like an 8 year old? I have 5 kids now and am 34. People still think I’m in my early 20s. I get just as much sleep after children as compared to before children, and I have found that I am less stressed out after having children as compared to before having children. Society likes to portray children as burdens and I disagree.
I can understand why you have all those weeping little emoji faces on your post. EVER wonder why you're alive AT ALL? (eg. Y'can have all those things you've listed, including 24 HOURS of stress-free 'sleep' every night if you step in front of a fast-moving truck.
@@erikatamayo1925 Eureka!! A genuine woman! (got a sister?). Incidentally, are you aware that modern science has figured out what causes all those kids? 😁
@erikatamayo1925 Eureka!! A genuine woman! (got a sister?). Incidentally, are you aware that modern science has figured out what causes all those kids? 😁
er-r-r There's a word for 'loving yourself'. But it's not true that it will make you go blind. And as for never being happier, I can only assume you had an absolutely MISERABLE previously. 😆
Me too. Not a widow, never been married, but had long relationships and had my daughter when I was 17. Haven't had sex in ages, don't miss it and not interested in any kind of relationship. For me sex is over-rated. Different strokes for different folks I guess.
Being widowed too young for 7 years, it's like a whole different world after 27 yrs of marriage. It's scary, and to tell someone you need to get tested first, and I need to see the papers from the Dr. When they refuse, you say ok, move on, and keep your disease to yourself, I'm healthy, and if I have to remain abstinent to stay healthy, so be it!
Omg I’m so with you/ I ask to see papers and show others papers too. I’ve been ridiculed and criticized and walked out on many times because Of this. Hang in there
Yay 😀 wonderful way to live 😊I was married at 29 for 21 years got widowed at 51 years young 😢and no way do I date nor do I want anyone in my Orchid’s Secret Garden ❤ i love knowing my GOD and my Temple are Sacred ❤and at 55 years young 😊I love knowing I can work on myself to become my best version of me ❤
39 and only been with one woman...mainly because of my social anxiety...I thought it was going to be forever but it was only for 2 years. Now I'm focusing on making money and working 65 hours a week. I got a part time job after the break up for an extra 25 hours a week .. I'm happy. Not saying I won't trust/love again but it's not a priority at this time.
I was quite promiscuous early on, until I got pregnant with my daughter at 33. I was celibate for 10 years after that, because I wanted to do things differently. I waited until I met my current boyfriend and it made our early sex life so exciting. Emotionally, I felt like a virgin again. ❤
Lol I'd hate to get pregnant at 33 lol I'm childfree. I want to live my life with out kids. I'm promiscuous with my bf though😂 but I dont want kids to stop that😂😂.
I had my son at 31. After me and his dad divorced I did the same thing you did, not sex for about 5 yrs. Once I met my 2nd husband I was constantly turned on🤣🤣
@@vikingrolloishot1789 So then, you'd hate getting pregnant at any age, not just at 33. Because you don't want kids. Weird thing to specify when you don't want kids at all and haven't had any at any age. lol
My partner died in a tragic fire seven years ago this Saturday and I’ve been single/celibate since. As a survivor of the incident I really needed to do nothing, but nurture my heart and mental health, I escaped yet not totally unscathed. Thank you so much for expressing NOT to feel shame. I’m bawling but feeling totally comforted. Idk how this ended up in my feed but it’s exactly what I needed to hear right now. ❤️
Agree. You seem very sweet. I'm older almost 65 and never had sex. And my vagina never closed up. I'm actually fine but it would be nice to find Mr. Right.
Proud to say I'm abstinent for 12 years! I'm saving it for if I get married. If not, I really have no desire for sex anymore and consider myself asexual
Abstinent for 10 years plus and I’m only 39. I definitely feel the anxiety because the dating world is so scary and as a woman I just want to make sure at my age it’s someone that is worthy. Thank you for the video. ❤
Dr. Jen you are an angel! I am 48 years old and still a virgin. My beliefs have kept me from having intercourse until marriage and when i was younger, i did feel like an outsider. Everyone seems to talk about sex socially and never having sex before, i could never join in or add anything to the conversation. I felt like something was wrong with me and that i was the last person on Earth to stay a virgin. I've grown wiser to know everyone is different and live their lives as the please. Weather you're a virgin or sexually active, you are no more or less for being either , thank you for your kind and amazing words! I now know some of what my body has gone through staying a virgin and now that i'm older how much more difficult it might be if and when i marry but with great advice like this, i'm not worried at all! Again, thank you, Doctor! You are a true blessing!
God bless you and i applaud you for doing what is right for you. that is the most important thing. and yes, the peer pressure can be tough, but at the end of the day it's about what is right for you. hang in there- you got this! and thanks for sharing- you will inspire others!
If you ever do meet a man and fall in love you will find that losing your virginity at your age is quite a bit more difficult than it would be if you were a young woman. The hymen becomes fiberous and extremely difficult for a man to push through...I would highly recommend that you have a OB/GYN perform a simple hymen removal procedure before that first sexual experience. I "broke in" my girlfriend, who was a virgin, at age 55 so I am speaking from experience... You will also need hormonal replacement.
@@SmittySmith-lu9bh Umm that was your experience with a 55 years old virgin but I think you should know every woman is different. I commend her for not have sex outside of marriage, this is a blessing 😢
I have been abstinent for 10 years now, and during this time, I have had breast cancer and had to have a total hysterectomy (both 3 years ago). I now have zero libido, no interest in sex, and have no desire to be with another person, whether sexually or romantically. Some people find this insane, especially due to my age, but I am not bothered by it. I have had my children, who are now adults, and I am able to focus more on my health, career, faith, and family. Thank you for your message that it's OK to be this way. I enjoyed this video!
If you ever meet the right one, there are some things called yoni stones. Dryness and decreased elasticity is caused by lack of circulation, get blood flowing and it will come alive again. Yoni stones also increase pelvic muscle tone which is always a good thing, reduces the possibility of incontinence in later years.
@@Mstee1855 I have the same story. I had stage 3 inflammatory breast cancer then a couple years later had to have a hysterectomy. I call myself an old jalopy. I have one headlight and I don't have an engine anymore. 😄
43 here, and it's been 3 years and counting🤷🏼♀️ and I'm good with that.. caused me lots of problems with not being able to carry a child and the heartaches of miscarriage after miscarriage... Traumatizing I'll tell ya. The one thing I thought I'd be growing up...a mom! It's caused some depression through the years as well... Thanks for sharing this!!!❤❤
Let’s not forget that not having sex can be very positive, as having sex with the wrong person, without the right feelings, can cause anxiety and a whole host of huge problems.
@@comtaar2245 Not having sex at all only means one thing! Deep psychological problems which may be impossible to solve. Hope they get the help they deserve!
I was celibate for a few years. Because I always had "buyers remorse" lol I felt I gave more then I got. But that was something I had to figure out for myself. Then I met a man had a 10 year committed, no living together but actively dating with great sex. Had an accident and it changed me. Been single a year. So I get what your saying. Sometimes you just need to be alone and do you without having to think of someone else.
I completely understand and respect your stance. You deserve to be loved and respected for who you are, and your body is your own to share or not share as you choose. It's amazing that you're prioritizing your own worth and boundaries like that. You're right, intimacy and love should be mutual and respectful, not just about physical desire. Keep holding out for someone who will love and appreciate you fully, because you're worth it!
I was celibate almost 5 years in my twenties . I just didn’t want to have premarital sex anymore . It wasn’t hard but it was more lonely than anything . It did increase my libido but I just felt a lot of peace from being celibate 🤷🏾♀️.
Females have 2 choices how they’re going to live their lives: A: FREE healthcare, medicines, surgeries, take care of themselves be Healthy, Free, Celibate in the pursuit of happiness with good nights of sleeping have FREE Acupuncture needle needling the cure for chronic pain. B: brought and sold, chronic pain and misery, always pregnant, taking care of Children and the Elderly, hysterectomies hip replacements, hacked into pieces, doped up on opioids, edge of suicide, call girls, sex workers, bags of meat with a vagina, chattel property, Servants, Concubines, beasts of burden, regularly viciously raped, and Prostitutes; blessed by the Pope(holy men) to be good, gracious, godly, motherly, holy, humane, and sane.
Me neither. I dont want to have premarital sex anymore. Ive been with two men and have done it no more than 30 times - thats it. But i wanted to be a virgin until marriage but then got coerced into it. Now I have a deep fear of dating and just prefer to be alone and celibate
So informative dear. I once worked as a Sexual and Reproductive Health officer on a project, there was very little to talk about men's reproductive health, so putting dots together , we can find a lot of resourcefulness in your talk.So keep the science rolling....
I am in my early 70’s and had my last affair at 69. It was with a former friend whom I met in my 30’s. It started out really great and then it started to go south after two years. I ended the relationship and afterwards found out that not only was he using hard drugs but also was a narcissist. I felt so betrayed that not only have I lost all desire for sex, but I just can’t stand men anymore. What an eye opener - would have saved me many breakups and heartbreaks had I learned this lesson at an earlier age. I have a precious, sweet puppy dog and I’m happier and freer now than I have ever been in my life. She follows me around the house and we sleep and eat together and she shows me so much loyalty and PURE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. I am so grateful for her💕🥰🐾😍
I have been celibate for 10 years, and I have been in menopause since 43. I had a great sex life but just never chose great people. Celibacy has been a great choice for me.
Doctor, thank you for the video. I am an unmarried woman in my late twenties who is a virgin. I’ve made a vow of chastity and have devoted my time to God for spiritual reasons. I have learned a lot from this video and once again, thank you.
10 years of abstinence by choice after getting out of an abusive relationship (physical, verbal, and emotional). He was my only relationship but before him I never had any good experiences with men while dating. I knew I had to heal so I made the choice to not date or have sex. After a while I realized not only did I not miss it, all of the issues I had with myself went away. I wasnt second guessing my worth or putting terrible people's feelings before mine. Recently I decided to try and dip back in the dating pool but I quickly retreated when the men pursuing me didn't want to wait more than 15 minutes before talking about sex/sending dick pics. If I ever have sex again it has to mean something and be with someone who actually values me. Alot of guys who show interest are not about that life so I will continue to stay to myself.
Celibate for 24 years... best decision ever.. for me. Not for everybody. Yes, pap smears are extremely painful, but it's once a year, so no big deal. Yes, I still have a libido, but the urges past, and I can go months and not even think about it. But sure, things can still arouse me, just like before I became celibate. I'm proud of my choice, and when I tell other women, yes, I have been teased.. whatever I just say, do you and I will do me.
Yes, In the year 2024. To be fair some of these women were taken advantage of and are now with Damaged Goods syndrome. Or God told them not to do it. It is dirty, and whatever else is on their list. Life is hard. Also I get complaints from guys who are also Damaged Goods. See it goes both ways. The complaints include the woman's a financial vampire. The women is jaded. The woman thinks you are her latest fixer up project. She doesn't love me back. Society is scared death to address these things upfront. Oh we can't talk about it. Education is needed right now on both sides of the coin. We need to teach Human relations, love and sex.
I've been married to the same man for over 30 years. However due to some medical issues on his part we experienced a nearly 10 years abstinence. We still love and cherish each other and still feel close to one another but the physical side didn't exist for a long time. It was strange at first and frustrating for me even as I worked hard to be a supportive partner but during that time I feel like this gave us a chance for our relationship to mature in ways we never expected. It allowed us to focus on other aspects of our relationship to.keep the intimacy alive despite not having sex. We came away from the time knowing that we could count on each other no matter how hard things would get because we learned to appreciate other things about each other aside from the physical. I kind of wish all couples would take a sex time out to.experience that period of growth.
I’m going through this at this moment with my hubby he has health issues no sex I’m very sexual active sometimes I just want to go get some sec somewhere else but I alive him can’t do it
These comments are interesting. I’ve been celibate for 5 years and it’s a struggle! Im about ready to marry any ol body at this point! Got all ur teeth? Cool, I Do! 💍😅
@LizLoveLight LMAO NOT ALL YOUR TEETH. I JUST DONT LIKE PEOPLE SO IT MAKES IT EASIER🤣 DON'T GET ME WRONG, I'M NOT DEAD BUT ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS ASK SOMEONE A FEW QUESTIONS... THAT USUALLY KILLS ANY INTEREST. 😬🤣💯
I'm 41. I've not had sex in nearly 3 years and everyone around me is shocked. They say things like "I could never! How are you not losing your mind?!" It's hilarious. I've had so much more peace not dating and not having sex. I haven't noticed any changes in my body.
I practice intermittent abstinence and often go a year+ without sex. I’m quite particular about who I’ll share myself with. I’m so proud to see all of your stories and testimonies in the comments. Blessings to you all🙏🏽💜
I'm almost 66,and because I'm no longer married I've abstained from sex for many many years but have the sex drive of a woman in her early 20's which is challenging at times but I will continue,praise God!💙😊
I’ve been divorced for 9 years, and celibate for a little over 10. Having been married for 20 years, the mere thought of even dating again is intimidating. I mean, prior to my divorce, I hadn’t been single since 1993, and things have changed exponentially since then! People weren’t even texting the last time I was on a date with anyone other than my ex, Lol! I will admit that there is an air of embarrassment that comes along with being celibate for so long, and in all honesty, I’m not sure why. I would much rather be celibate than reckless, but still, it’s not something thing that I divulge to people.
@@DrJenCaudleso question i got a condition called vaginismus due to a tramautic first experience. After that sex was just very painful and uncomfortable..i lost trust in men and haven't had sex in 14yrs would this mean i will have even more pain?
Thank you for this explanation its been 5 years for me and my spouse i suffer from endometriosis so its very painful so we find other ways to bond couldn't ask for a better husband then the one i have now. He's super supportive and understanding.
It’s been 13 years for me and I am not ashamed. People do think it’s strange that I am 42 and have only had 2 sex partners. I don’t care and I will wait until I find my next husband.
I completely understand and respect your stance. You deserve to be loved and respected for who you are, and your body is your own to share or not share as you choose. It's amazing that you're prioritizing your own worth and boundaries like that. You're right, intimacy and love should be mutual and respectful, not just about physical desire. Keep holding out for someone who will love and appreciate you fully, because you're worth it!
I'm so encouraged by these comments. I don't feel so alone. We need more of these conversations I was feeling terrible for not having sex like it's not common for ppl around me to just be Disciplined sexually. Thanks, ladies!
I jumped on this so fast. I am a 48 year old virgin. Partially because I haven’t met someone I feel like getting that intimate with, but mostly because I have a physical disability. To the point that the physical part scares me. I’ve always felt that you can’t miss something you don’t know. But the point you made about loss of elasticity hit home, especially since I have other elasticity issues. Thank you for the info. It was mainly things I already knew, but it’s always good to be reassured.
A long way around the bushes to explain 'an inability to get a boyfriend'. Consider the REASON you and ALL your female forebears (along with everyone else's) has a vagina and uterus, etc. Perhaps just a talking-point to avoid the 'Sounds of Silence'??
Have any of you dealt with infertility? What have been your experiences? I just filmed a video on the shame that can happen around infertility and I would love to get your thoughts. Here it is- pls weigh in: INFERTILITY: How to Deal with Shame & Stigma & How to Find Hope. A Doctor Weighs in
ua-cam.com/video/4fMO_3_6cmc/v-deo.html
What if still 27 year old Virgin does that affect your body in some way
😊@@ariassuicidalthoughts9931
What ........????????
@@DorthyConti Aren't you lucky YOUR MOTHER didn't hold the same stupid views?
There's no 'shame and stigma' in infertility: it's simply a 'fact of life' we have to deal with. BUT, infertility makes a powerful argument for dumping 'monogamy'. There are many more reasons people can provide benefits for each other besides making babies.. (eg an otherwise very compatible and mutually-effective couple can create a GREAT life for themselves and for others on many levels.) BUT the fertile partner has every right to want to create descendants and preserve his seed/DNA. The obvious solution is to have as many permanent partners as possible; a situation where EVERYBODY has their needs met: both immediately and down the ages.
EVERY species except pompous/self-important homo-sapiens understands that. (ever seen a bitch in heat relate to umpteen dogs??) 'Monogamy' is a religious-based SOCIAL rule that makes 'the masses' much easier to control and otherwise take advantage of.(eg. The same pack of dogs that travels miles to try their luck NEVER pay taxes to feed hordes of politicians/bureaucrats; what 'groupings are called for are more generally known as 'families'. (eg a pride of lions) and in such a mutually-supportive 'family' conditions like 'infertility' are irrelevant. Every member contributes in the best way they can. eg: an infertile lioness may make a GREAT babysitter, which allows the other lionesses to make their own contributions: eg hunting to help feed everybody. Mother Nature has successfully managed life for billions of years, and we should look to her for our lessons and directions.
No sex = no diseases, clearer mind, and self love.
Very good. I agree completely.
Totally agree👍
🎯💯
facts
Right ✅️
Just turned 22. Still a virgin. Never been in a relationship. And I think that’s wonderful.
That’s ok!
@@DrJenCaudle 🫶🏽
Stay virgin until you get married. Its worth it
Stand on this!
You'll know when you're ready.
Many people believe that women can’t live w/o sex. It’s so many of us that’s living w/o it. True Story
Amen❤
3.5 years next month 🎉
6years!!
20 years here
💯💯💯💯
No sex for over 10 + years, I feel no shame. My body is mine, and I love it. Blessings to everyone on your channel ❤️
Amen!! No shame peace of mind!!
Just got out of a relationship after 8yrs, nd 2yrs later I'm celibate nd I'm gd
I had sex 5 times in my life I'm 18 btw
I have 7 months being celibate
6 years for me. There I said it!
I don't like performing orals on a man, and I don't like being touched. I like being single and owning my own home and having my own money and living alone. I prefer to travel around. I don't need sex to make me happy. The only time I would have sex is when I am married, in-love and have children.
11 for me and it’s the best decision ever. After the death of my son’s dad and 2 divorces I’m over it. I’m 50 and love being single.
I’ve been divorced and abstinent for 6 years now…no shame here hunny! I’m proud of being healthy (physically, emotionally, & mentally) and want to stay healthy 😊
yay!
Me too but I do my exercises U know the one ❤ from Australia
I love it and the same here...
It’s been 20 years for me, my husband passed 15 years ago and he had Alzheimer’s before he passed. I think about it, but I don’t miss it😊
Amen
No sex= no trauma, no disease, no worries and have a Peace of mind.
Ok!
I agree..no narcissistic in my life
But no sex also means no children and that means fewer people working and paying taxes to look after you when you are older, pay for pensions for the retired. medical care, or nursing home care etc. Its a serious thing for the whole of society.
I understand why people give up on relationships (because people are crazy and selfish these days) but so many people are on anti-depressants and psyche meds and that can kill your sex drive .Something like 50% of women are on medication. Our society has a lot of problems. Men are messed up too.
@@tubester4567
Children are not obligated to care for the parents in their old age. There’s plenty of women that have popped out a bakers dozen just to die alone in the nursing home without a visit or phone call in 10 years.
If they want to, they’ll take care of you. If they don’t they won’t. Then you’ll have had all those kids for nothing since that’s all they meant to you.
@@denyshadials5702 Its more serious than that though. To provide everything we rely on everyday takes workers. Someone has to grow our food. we need transport drivers to disperse our food and goods, we need people to build roads and maintain the water pipes so you can drink water, sanitation workers to remove our waste. Someone needs to work at restaurants and fast food and gas stations to fill your car.
There are many experts and scientists who say collapsing populations is a huge threat to humanity and our standard of living.
It’s been 16 years since my husband I have had intercourse . He has prostate cancer and with that he has ED . We have had intimate moments here and there. We’ve been together 25 years and married almost 22 years. We love each other and that’s all that matters to us . He’s 71 and I just turned 65 a few days ago. We can still enjoy each other in so many ways other than intercourse. When you are with the right person , you will do whatever it takes to make your relationship work.
That's so cool 😎
Bless you both!
WOW! Such similar situation to yours.
You go lady the best to you two.. I always thought it was just me. Operations and things and when you're not with just one special person makes the years go by. Yes then you find yourself in your 60's. Your heart remains open for love though. 2023.
That’s very admirable. God bless you two.
I’m almost 40 and still a virgin. This is interesting. I may get married soon, I’m still considering my options at the moment…so good to know. I have zero problems, my periods are still very regular, and I’m in excellent health thank god.
This is beautiful! ❤
If you're still considering don't marry him. You deserve someone you're sure about and he should have someone who knows they want to be with him.
Great news
@@itdbefunnydidn't say man
A good deal???? Swap a healthy sex-life for regular periods? Strange creatures, females. (Try haggling! You might be able to get TWO periods per month!)
I have gone without sex for YEARS (around 8) simply because I am demisexual so I have no arousal without the emotional connection first. It's perfectly natural for some of us to just not desire sex much. It's not that we don't enjoy it, just don't want it right then. So anyone feeling shamed about not having sex for a long time, it's completely fine. Lots of love to all of you ❤
Im also demi sexual, its been about 3 or so years for me. Doesn't really bother me either. I miss affection more than anything! Love to you too 💜
25 years for me and not fussy
Oh so thats what it is I can't just sleep with anymore unless I love them my husband is oversees and haven't had sex in a long time
@@carine4318
Same for me🙏
@@carine4318demisexual isn’t a thing. That’s just a fancy way of labeling yourself to make you sound more interesting. Not being sexually aroused until you know the person is normal or at least it was before hookup culture.
I haven’t had sex in over 8 years. I’m just not willing to put myself out there enough to trust again. I respect my body and I’m not willing to give it up to anyone that I can’t trust.
9 years myself and what you've said definitely resonates with me. I feel the same.
Wonderful! Admire you!
I believe there is someone you will trust and make you happier and move forward in life.
But first love! Can you show deep love and care for a man?
Same me 😂😂😂😂
I once went to my Dr for my pap test. The nurse who did the test asked me "when was the last time I had sex because my vigina was too tight". I told her I was abstaining. She was rather shocked. I was confused as to why she was acting shocked. The society we live in is just making it hard. Thank you Dr for assuring us that " It's OK.
it's such a shame you had this experience. i'm so sorry. you're just fine and it's ok to abstain from sex if you want
I can relate. When the HPV vaccine came out, the nurse gave me some literature and asked me if I wanted her to tell the doctor I wanted the vaccine. I told her that I was sexually inactive, and asked if I needed it despite that. She said, “But you had sex before, but just a while ago right?” I said no. She could not fathom that I had never had sex.
A lot of this is not true.
And it dowsnt keep getting "infinitely tighter amd tighter " based on how long you abstain. It can get SMALLER but that's not the same as tight.. tight would be like if a person got injections in their walls to make the FIT tighter... The kind of smaller it gets from inactivity would be like how a peach, strawberry or plu m gets smaller... It's ATROPHY.. like if a body builder gets atrophy on an arm and it gets super wimpy .
Also it CAN close too, because I know a close friend who said that her Dr said ONE SIDE of her vagina is closed, and that's because she's a lesbian who does NO PENETRATION AT ALL, and she's 52. ( one side as in to the the left side of her cervix , it's closed. If someone forced something in there's she'd rip and need surgery
You needed assurance????
@@Toody49Sex is overrated anyway.
I turned 30 this year and still a virgin. Thanking God for the Grace.
@@mirriam9453 I wish I did that
I don't believe you but if it's true all powers to you, I know women that say that same thing then the next minute she start talking about having a drug problem in the past and was prostituting herself to everybody.
hard to believe XD
@@mirriam9453 Bald face Lie
@@mohamedalmarzooqi6320 u should cause it's the true.
10 years celibate, single and loving my life. I am a cancer survivor and have zero desire and I am glad I feel it's a gift from God.
👉📖 Luke 12:32 KJV
“Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”.
??????? Your vagina/uterus/boobs/bum/etc are a 'gift from god': and they're designed to fulfil a PURPOSE!. (Gen.3:16) Celibacy is a defiance of god's will. A SIN! Shame on you!
I never thought I would be celibate cuz I was always sexually active from 14-50 , and I'm really surprised how great I feel. I turned it over to my FATHER of LIGHTS✨👑✨
yea but tell that to the catholic church! you are some kind of anomaly
@@hereandnow8578 👎👎👎👎
Proud of those who take control of their bodies and don't feel pressured to have sex. Our bodies are precious and should be treated that way.
Yes!!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾
Amén ❤
Pride for all women no matter their choice is more appropriate. A woman who takes control of her body and decides to experience sexual pleasure is an equally good choice.
@wjperdue you are correct. And awake it is to many STD’S out here to allow ourselves to be pressured with this sex nonsense. Stay strong it is nothing but a trap to produce more STD’s. That means more aids medication. Ladies do not feed into this garbage. For all we know a lot of them ain;t nothing but sex pots talking out the side of their necks. Ladies stay woke.
some of us are not about control, we just don't have partners
I’m 10 years of celibacy. I am a widow. My husband passed 7 years ago to cancer. We were together for 30 years, married for 25 of those years. I miss him everyday. My everything, my soulmate.
Nothing stoppin you from having sex. It's not unfaithfulness. "death do us part", go out and enjoy life.
It's good to keep Good memories
But do you believe that he would've
Want you to move on with life.
Don't live in the memories
🇯🇲 🇨🇷
it's not about that. It's about wanting it. I'm a widow too and it's just not big deal. I miss him too much. I've got a vibrator. That's plenty. @@hollandhollywood329
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm hoping for your healing back to happiness and new love, so he can rest in peace knowing the love of his life wasn't permanently scarred.
@@crcastillo615hello how're you doing?
I'm turning 25 this year and lm still a virgin and lm happy for myself
Yay!
Good for you I was 25 when I got married asa virgin I’ve been married for almost 40 years my husband never pressured me to have sex I had a baby at 29 I’m 65 and the sex stopped for me at 55 I had breast cancer and my husband is ok with it we’re very close and I love that about him he says he loves me the I am ..
do you use toys atleast?
@@malebogomnkgwang-hn1xm some here sweetheart 💋
"Happy"?? WHY?? My gatepost is also a virgin, but sees nothing to be happy about.
I am 86 and met a man 86 . I visit him on the weekend and we have sexual activity every weekend and we feel so much love and relaxation . We have been seeing each other a year. Its never too late if you find someone you love.
i love this! congrats! you're such an inspiration!
That is.lovely
Why not get married? It's never too late for that either, right?
Wonderful!!
That's great
Ive been abstinent for almost 6 years and I’ve been more emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, financially healthier and career driven (and accomplished) than I’ve ever been in my life. My decision wasn’t by design. I just rather go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning with my self-respect, dignity, pride and be in my right mind….. I just refuse to give my body to someone and play the “let’s do it and see what happens” game. I know this isn’t right for everyone, but it’s been a soul saver for me because I’ve not been consumed by nor trapped in a toxic, painful soul tie with anyone since my last relationship and this has protected and even elevated my level of peace so I can do great things in this limited lifetime. As beautiful as sex can be with the right person, sex is too overrated in this highly sexualized culture we live in - as if people don’t eventually have to get out that bed at some point in time. In fact, most people are out of that bed more than rolling around it in. Then what do you have? Usually the drama, dysfunction and displeasure of the relationship to deal with. I’d rather spend the rest of my finite time here self-actualizing my God given purpose because honestly I think I’ve had enough gratuitous, fruitless, dead end sex to last me a lifetime.
I feel exactly the same and it's even been six years for me too.
Ditto!
I feel the same way as you but I see your 6 years and I rise you 11 years. After I went through a divorce, I refused to give my body to just anyone.
U do not need 2 apologies 2 any1 it is true spuritually u kicked them lilith off and physically carry all Ur energy so whatever u touch prospers . Be grateful av personally been off and know the difference, liberation & rightfullness and alertness on all levels. 4 me it is the best FREEDOM AV EVER GOT, whuuuuu ❤❤❤❤❤ HOWEVER, This is not 4 evry1 pips so choose Ur struggle.
Amén
It doesn't make me anxious it just makes me cautious because dating is just not the way it used to be❤
You’re right and smart to be cautious
How do you know that??
@@DrJenCaudle I never did understand the hamerican definition for 'dating'. (eg. 'I have a date for a dental appointment'.) But clearly YOU can't get a man in your pants. I think the term is 'Sour grapes'. Try LESS make-up and a more genuine smile. Or get a blind boyfriend.
🫣🤣🤣😂😂😂💔I guess am on the same page with you. Most men these days can’t control their libidos. They go about sexing everything sexable 😅 and being healthy is paramount. You can’t have repercussions for someone’s mistakes.
It was never better. Just keep that in mind. Not for women anyway.
There is a huge difference between sex that is healthy, safe, and pleasurable (mentally and physically), and sex that is not. A lot of the benefits of sex you mentioned won’t occur without these things. It’s a beautiful thing for people who find that but I could see it being an uninteresting activity for those who cannot.
It’s honestly a shame that not all sex is healthy and safe. It should be the norm.
Exactly on target.
I was abstinent for 17 years. After my relationship ended, I was a single parent with 2 children, so I put it to the back of my mind and did what I had to do to raise happy healthy children. I wasn't interested in another relationship, so it wasn't hard. I wasn't interested in "no strings attached" sex. I have now raised my children to adulthood, met a wonderful guy and hopping back on the saddle was no problem. It's like riding a bike..you never really forget how 😅
Ah I see! Thanks for sharing!
You honestly expect us to believe this?
@@mariocondello2353 don't particularly care if you believe it or not. I have no reason to make it up 🤷🏼♀️
@@mariocondello2353No one needs you to believe it. Just because you probably have no self control does not mean someone else doesn't. 😄
@@mariocondello2353 in what world would u think women don’t have sex for this long? It’s been 2 years for me, I focus on my children. Dont care about sex or men. We exist. Just because YOU are out here fucking whores doesn’t mean all women are. You’re giving alpha male/possible incel vibes. Grow up Mario….
1) Decreased elasticity
2) Lower libido, increased libido, or same libido
3) Increased anxiety
4) Longer time to get aroused/ Need more to get aroused.
There is no shame in choosing what's best for you!!
Yes, #4 taking me longer
This has to be the worst bullshit I've ever seen.If anything ,it should be really quick to orgasm as you are not having sex often.
@@jennifer79191Me too
This is a good thing! 😊 please continue these 4 rules expecially number 1 😁
It is the marital duty of a wife to provide her husband the sex he needs as men have 17 times (1,700%) the sex hormone testosterone as women. When the wife shuts down shop what exactly should the husband do?
I did not have sex until I was in my 30s and got married. Married 15 yrs and sex had been amazing since day 1. Was very fertile and birthed 3 kids back to back with no meds. According to docs the old V has been beautifully healthy. Don't feel no fear! Waiting to have sex with your partner or spouse is healthy emotionally and physically.
Ty for sharing this ❤ . Good not feel fearful and it's hard to find someone in my real life who has the reality I hope for
My daughter waited until she was married. I think she was 33 or 34 but now she's in the middle of a divorce. Unfortunately, she married a narcissist. And right now she's not seeing anyone. She has a breeched baby girl by him.
Thanks for sharing 👍 I'm in my 30s in the same situation. I just can't lay with someone if I don't feel comfortable being physically, emotionally and mentally vulnerable with. No longer working to survive (like my teens and 20s), I'm finally stepping into the dating pool
How old were you when you had your first? If you don’t mind me asking.
@@blusarabi 16 or 17
I'm assuming you are asking about my first sexual experience. If you are asking about my first and only child.....I had her at 23.
3 years celibate. At least for another five months, getting married in January. Honestly best decision I've ever made.
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
@@randiekay4994 How can it be the "best decision" you have ever made?
Turn 29 this 22/5 and still virgin. Never dated and I'm happy. No conflict, drama, healthy mental❤
Yay!
You shouldn't assume "healthy mental". You might have suppressed trauma or bonding issues. Or if men are not interested in you as well, maybe eating disorder or something that might need fixing
@@AndyKing1000 my 'healthy mental' here means by not involve in relationship, I avoid having thing like argument, sadness, etc. but in life of course I do have some stress, up and down. And no I don't have any eating disorder.
Sounds like u relate a relationship with arguments and sadness so u might have experienced watching ur parents fighting and now think that is what relationships are like. Relationships are supposed to bring love and happiness. Maybe u should see a therapist. 29 and never dated is not normal.
@@lealea7213Dating is a choice, as long as they're happy then let them be. Sounds like you're projecting
My husband and I were both virgins when we married. I was 32 and he was 33. No vagina problems! 💯
Too big remember that answer
You think he was a virgin I see men still lie to get what they want 😂
How do you know he was a Virginia. Because he told you so. Lol
Love this! Thank you for sharing.
@@yaseenmeyer8452 Why should anyone believe you just because you disbelief what someone else says?
Im working on 9 yrs of celibacy due to sexual abuse. It was a WAKE up call for me to stop being promiscuous 🙏
No sex= peace , no guys popping up for booty calls and drive by sex, no diseases, feeling cleaner, no drama & BS, etc etc etc 🙏
It sounds to me like a perfect description of life in the grave.😵💫
Yep. 🫂👍
@@dabbbles it's the opposite for me. I AM FREE🕊️
So don't come by me with your awful negativity. It's got a GRAVE ODOR 🐽🚽
I feel like my decision to stop having sex was because the people I have run into are NOT worth it. I do feel I have lost interest in bad sex and worse levels of intimacy. So, 13 years later, it would have to be someone I enjoyed having sex with in the past and that won't happen. Definitely not believing the thirsty boys out there.
@@freespirit21newyork er-r-r-r There's NO greater 'freedom' (or 'sexlessness') than death. Nothing 'negative' about a statement of FACT.
😭 I love this comment section… I’ve been working on my abstinence for a while, it’s difficult when you’re surrendered by a community who don’t give sex the same importance as you do… but getting to this comment section has been a relief, thanks for sharing. I feel so supported.
Am with you
My story was abstinence for 23 years and was not ashamed. However, my gf laughed and thought it was absurd. When I met my partner I was very nervous and anxious but it's wonderful after 4 years in our relationship. I experienced extreme dryness, but that is now corrected. By the way, I am 68 yrs old, and my partner is 56 yrs old. He chased me until he captured me. ❤🎉😊 Thank you doctor!!
Similar situation and age. Curious what you did for dryness. Any pain with intercourse?
Sweet.
Love this
Please tell us how your dryness was corrected. Thank you!
@joanbrady3088 Hi Joan, Well, before we consummated our relationship, I went to my doctor, and she knew I was dry from the examination. She suggested KY-Jelly and some others. I purchased the jelly, but after about 6 months into our relationship, I no longer needed it. The doctor said my vagina forgot how to get lubricated and that it would take time. He had to learn that foreplay took a little longer for me. I hope that helped you.
I'm turning 27 this year, and still virgin@never had sex. I love myself too much, Thanks God 🙏🏻
Damn girl, youre precious. I wish I had Waited until marriage😢
That's is amazing I wish I had waited until I got married .
🎉 Yasss knowing your worth is absolutely beautiful ❤️😍
How sad! WHY TF do yoiu suppose god created you (among countless others all the way back to Eve) with a vagina, uterus, boobs, wriggly-bum and all the other good bits if you weren't supposed to USE them??!
@@gargi9319 Mariage is a political invention. God nowhere demands it. He just built Eve with all the fun bits FOR A REASON, and told her to got to it at Adam's demand. Gen.3:16
I find that it's not the sex itself that I'm nervous about it's the kind of people out there that scares me about having sex again after years of not having it.
You are not lying about this! I’m with you!
I can see that. It makes sense.
@@andreaberryman5354 sis the thing is things have changed so much. People are not so caring these days because of the availability of p*rn so easily so people can't be bothered to make an effort and not only that they expect you to be a p*rn star in bed 😅 I'm not that desperate.
I understand what you are saying I've met some guys but, none of which I wanted to give myself to not because I was afraid they were not worthy of my cookies.
I feel the same way, I don’t want to ever be with a senior citizen gigolo!!
I will be 60 in a few weeks. It has been 8.5 years for me. My partner, husband is a mentally ill disabled combat Veteran. We have been together for 20 years. Married 2. He says he's just not interested & that touching me feels wrong like Im his Little Sister. I am longing for intimacy. I attract other men without trying to but I politely ignore them. These comments have brought me hope & inspiration because I seriously do not know what to do. The 86 year olds are so inspiring and sweet. Love it. I remain in prayer.🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I wish you all the best! The tough part, your man is not the same person you married and maybe never will be again. It seems that it may be impossible for him to understand your needs and desires. I hope that you can get some professional marriage advice. Coping with this alone must torture you and cause a ton of stress. Also, I am assuming that you are the one who he is dependent on for food, clothing, shelter and everyday care. The situation can be described sort of like this. Your in an airplane, the oxygen mask drops down and the pilot says to put the oxygen mask on yourself first and then see if your able to help someone else. Please put yourself first! What can the Veterans Administration do to help you?
Does he need 24 hour 7 days a week care? Is he safe alone if you need to shop and do the everyday things in life? I can't say what is right for you to do. Please live the best life you can. I think that you need to do what is best for you today.
In sickness and in health, don t forget...
@@Elisabeta.Marina Platitudes are nice and easy to say or write about. My question, is there any real chance that this situation will ever get better? I mean after 8.5 years of only one person caring? I see it as no longer sustainable. There isn't a good relationship here. We all want and need that human connection. Has he left her mentally or does he even know who she is at this point?
If so, it becomes more than one person can handle. I have seen this happen before. I was the so called bad guy by some who helped a relative by placing her husband in dedicated 24 /7 care. This was a medical problem. In that case he had access to the garage and refused to give up his keys. Also I was afraid that the stress she was under would destroy her health.
@@stevel9308 Marriage is more then romance and sex, mainly is helping the partener, this is what married men tell me, married women, maybe you are not married.
@@Elisabeta.Marina Your choice. You would destroy your health and life for a vegetable. I know that sounds bad. It's reality. If I were not able to have a clue as to what is going on, my wife has every right and my permission to step away. It is about her health and wellbeing. Needless to say that is my idea of how it has to be.
Why destroy two lives? Have you ever been there anyway? The lady I helped was my mother. Yes. That was tough. I had to save her!
I think if it had went on longer she would have died of stress right there, and very soon. It was also about his safety.
Am proud of myself. Am 24 and still a virgin. Patiently waiting for the right person. I don't feel pressured to have sex.... Thanks doc for the info
Keep it up hun ❤ I'm proud of you ❤ Trust me you're not missing out on anything, there's too much toxicity and bad energy out here. I hope you find your soulmate and good luck! ❤
Wow it’s hard to find people like you and lucky who can make relationships with you ❤❤❤
Wow
Wow no !!!!!
You're a rare breed 😍
I've been celibate for a little over three years. No drama and no disappointments. I have moments in which I crave it badly but those moments pass.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 keep going and get a good showerhead or under the faucet in your tub!! gets the job DONE!!!🙌🏾
Electric toothbrushes 😂
@@rosaleenmaher1486what😂
Yep. It ALL passes. Including 'Life'. And then you die. (and I think some people never notice the difference.) WHY do you suppose you exist at all?
@@rosaleenmaher1486 HEY! Post a picture of your teeth!
I was in an abusive marriage and have celibate since 2005. Doesn't mean I don't have enormous feelings but protecting my heart comes 1st.
I understand
Great..... you're not alone
I haven’t had sex since April 27th 2006 at about 7:36pm and have no plans to make love again until God blesses me with the man He has for me…I’ve had more than enough sex to last me several life times and from what I hear…nothing (sex wise) so I’m good!!!! At this point in my life (60) years old, I don’t mind waiting until my change comes!😊
@@pastordeborahchapman440God decides who should be married and who should not?
Blah
It’s refreshing to see so many women in the comments saving themselves for their man of God 🙌🏾
❤️
We waited for marriage. We were 23 when we got married. My husband and I have been married for 32 years. Waiting was the best thing, we got to learn together what each other likes. Sex has changed over the years as we had children and then the kids grew up and sex changed again, then we got older and things changed a bit and then some sickness and it changed again but it never gets boring with all the changes that come in life. I personally think sex just gets better and better because you learn so much about each other at different stages of your life together. I’m so thankful for my husband and I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. ❤
I did too
Thats actually the way to do it.
Same …I got married at 25, and I’m so glad that we waited until we were married before we had sex, for us it was the right choice.
We met in our early 20s and we had time to really build our relationship on trust and being great friends, then when we got married we became lovers.
Sex isn’t everything imo, we have been happily married for over 40 yrs ❤
@@d.b.g9216 my understanding is that it is better to wait. It makes the difference between it bring something special or a chore thats expected or demanded by either party.
You go girl!
I been celibate 13 years and I'm now 48, these have been the BEST years of my life in all ways, spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally
Love this!
@DrJenCaudle Thank You for sharing this information and prompting the comments section. Hearing from other women and their celibacy journeys was so refreshing 🤗
@@DrJenCaudleu forgot to mention to the (postmenopausal) females about vagina atrophy when they go too long without using their V but at least tell them to add moisture inside
Same here- Celibate for 7 years. I am living my best life. I am celibate for religious reasons. I regret not doing it earlier. Jesus is the center of my life and he has been good to me.
@queentinadoire6931 Wow! That's the same for me, it was intentional for religious/spiritual reasons. JESUS is all I ever needed and wished I had done it sooner too...Thank You for commenting, when I share this with people they never seem to understand 🙏❤️
Not having sex is normal. It's absolutely normal. There's nothing wrong or "shocking" about it. People like to act as if it is a bad thing. There's nothing to be ashamed about being a virgin. Our society just promotes too much promiscuity.
So true
I totally agree. In the last 15 yrs I've have had sex 3 times.
I Totally Agree
Society and entertainment would like us to believe that everyone is constantly horny, ready to rip clothes off at any moment and people have sex constantly. My husband and I laugh at movies or TV shows that show a sex scene and they either jump right out of bed, throw their clothes on and off they go, or fall asleep in each other's arms and wake up in that same position, not all sweaty and stuck together. 🤣🤣🤣 In a perfect world I guess...🤷🏻♀️
What nonesense. (and spoken by someone who obviously can't get laid!) YOUR ONLY REASON for being alive is to facilitate your sexual use. You have NO other reason for existing. Aren't you glad your parents weren't so stupid?!
Hi. I’m new to the channel but I been strictly celibate since last yr of October & it’s soon going on a whole yr or so glad I ran into this channel cause babyyyyyyy
Welcome!!
Me am going almost 7 months, and I feel great am not going to lay down for just any men at all
Almost 3 years now, especially after my hysterectomy.
I am 43 and have been abstaining for 7 years. I honestly couldn't care less if I ever have sex again, I wish I had flipped the script on my life much sooner. I am much more calm and at peace without having to worry about sexpectations of men in my life. Hopefully I will have a long healthy fruitful life on my own.
Bless you!
I agree wholeheartedly! On the road to 9 years. A wise astronaut once said, "To infinity and beyond!" 😅
😂😂😂😂😂😂 Well said!
I’m 45 year old and I haven’t had sex for 10 years. God will send my mate when it’s time.
I am 52 and it's been 6 years ❤ I'm Good On the whole need a man thing🎉
I am a 41 year old virgin soon to be 42, my birthday is next month. I am glad to find that I am not alone on this thread. I have done my best to keep my virginity a secret because people tend to think you're a weirdo if you haven't lost your virginity after a certain age.
Why
@@ameerzaman8254 Why? Please expand on your question?
... I believe, in their one word question, they are asking.... Why you are still a virgin at your said age? Why you've never chosen to have intercourse? If I am wrong in the elaboration of the persons question . Meaning, than correct me and I will sincerely apologize to all. I don't think I am incorrect tho. Also I don't think they wanted to explain their question because they feel it's impolite and intrusive to ask that. If that was information wanted for others to know it would have been included in the original comment. However don't feel obligated to answer or explain anything to anyone. It's your body, your choice and your life! That... Is All that matters. 💜✌🏼
Awesome stay that way no reason to be shameful
I’m 33!
Been abstinent for over 30+ years (turned 60 in January)…..not ashamed because I am spiritual, mentally and physically healthy!
I completely understand and respect your stance. You deserve to be loved and respected for who you are, and your body is your own to share or not share as you choose. It's amazing that you're prioritizing your own worth and boundaries like that. You're right, intimacy and love should be mutual and respectful, not just about physical desire. Keep holding out for someone who will love and appreciate you fully, because you're worth it!
Married for 32 years to my beautiful Hawaiian/white wife. 3 grown kids and 2 grandkids from her.
I'm a Marine Veterann and Trucker of 31 years.
This info is truly gold in helping me understand what I don't understand.
Thank you Doctor.
Isn't she grand! Also. Thank you for your service to our nation.
8yrs here. I have Never loved myself more, & have no drama,or abuse...❤
Awesome!
Same and amen 🙏❤
Congratulations for being celibate 💕💕💕 this is so true!
Wow, but you still need affection, love and happiness. love is sweet when you have person who understand you
Here for it 3 years of abstaining from sex❤ working on myself, healing ❤️🩹 learning, and growing in spirit!
🙌🏾🙌🏾
Rebranding? Way to go girl!
God bless you ❤
Same here salute to you : )
Best move! Queen move
30 yrs old and haven't had sex in over 10 yrs since I was at least 19. Sometimes I do crave intimacy but when I look at how low the bar is in the dating scene nowadays I just don't worry about it.
Wow, but you still need affection, love and happiness.
I want a woman who knows what love, care, understanding is.
@@jenneyjen-vo2mq different people and different needs
Same girl. Same. The dating scene is horrible right now.
The dating scene as well as online is a joke
Too many players and I won't settle - just to have someone.
Been years for me too.
Since menopause my libido gone through the roof but turning 60 this month and dryness just started but the cream doc gave me works great
Post menopausal woman who has been abstinent for over 14 years. I always wondered about this...😂Frankly, I don't miss it, or the drama, heartache, arguing, fighting that relationships have. I have freedom to go where I want, when I want. No jealousy, no anger, just peace. My kids are all grown. Been there, done that in regard to relationships, marriage, engagements. Not having sex gives me peace of mind that I won't catch a VD from a promiscuous man, who sows his oats like a bull. At 54, I know who I am, what I want and what I don't want. I am still attracted to men, but I have no interest in dating or pursuing any relationships. Anyone else out there who is content at this point in their life?
I think there are a lot of women who feel this way! Just check out the comments!
YES! YES ! I feel the same way as you n others. I think people rush into relationships to satisfy sexual parts more than any other. We should b concerned about all the other parts n put the sex on back burner to b honest ! However due to society and pressure it's about sex! I am surprised to see all the comments but happy. Happy to know I'm not alone on this. I've been on my own for 10 years give or take n let me say I feel as you do. Dont have anyone to answer to r any of the list you mention!
I agree 💯 percent
Yes! 💯. 57 now and I just don’t have the time or energy for the drama. Shoot, had my first blind date in years a week ago and I’m being “love bombed”. I’m like “take a step back bud, I’m a little too independent for that”, lol. We haven’t even connected beyond the superficial 🤦♀️🙄
Wow, other than the kids part, I literally could have written this. (for me it is 18 years) I am so happy and fulfilled in my life and it just keeps getting better! IF someone comes along that fits right in (pun intended?) Great. If not....I'm gooooood!
I was molested as a child, I had two older brothers and their friends started sexualizing me and having sex with me at 13. My concept of sex was askew because I was taught that sex was just something you did because a guy wanted it and it didn’t matter what I felt. I got into a relationship with someone I thought I loved and loved me back (was a boy from when I was 13) we were in our early 30’s. Long story short he sexually abused me along with mentally emotionally and physically abused me. Now I have been abstinent from sex for the last seven years and I haven’t been more happy about my body and myself for the first time in my life.
Gosh I’m so so sorry. No one deserves this. But I’m happy that you are happy with your body and feel good. God bless!
18 years for me. Also abusive people Jin my life
wow so sorry for this, this is what happens to us when our parents fail to talk to us about what is right and wrong, in terms of this kind of behavior.
awww darling, I'm so sorry you experienced those horrid betrayals. I am so glad you are in a space where you love your body. With time, you will also engage and enjoy sex when you are ready. I am working on taking ownership and discovering healthy set because I have experienced molestation during childhood and at other stages in life. I appreciate coming across women who share the experiences and impact, especially when through healing, they have made improvements. It gives me hope and certainty that it wasn't my fault. Thanks for sharing.
🩷🩷🩷
Live ur life on ur own terms. Don't listen to anyone else. U know urself best. Talk to ur dr & don't listen to social media.
Yes!
💯 best comment
I was just thinking about this cause I want to devote my life to God
I don't believe it is a one or the other choice. You can be devoted to God and have faith with the desire of having that special close personal relationship with another human being. That is what gives your life additional meaning. Life can be rough and tuff sometimes, and having another person to share your life is another dimension of the spiritual experience.
God also gave us the intimacy and pleasure of sex! Be choosy, select someone with your values and goals.
Why would you do that?
Absolutely be the best you can be, try to make the right choices but you will make mistakes, we all do.
What I would say is don't let religion get in the way of living your life, there is, in my view, no need to clutter your day to day existence with all that, it's just unnecessary. There's good and bad absolutely everywhere, believing in any God will not exempt you from experiencing any of that.
@@stevel9308not outside of marriage.
Amen! That's great. Don't let anyone judge you
God wants you to have sex and have babies. It is in the bible.
I’m so glad I found your video. I’m 45 and I’ve only had one sexual partner, which was my ex husband. We’ve been divorced for 5 years now and I haven’t been sexually active since the divorce. When I told my friends I only had one sexual partner my entire life, they literally laughed and were in shock. I’ve been celibate for 5 years but I’m ready to find love again. I have no regrets about my decision to remain celibate because I had to heal from my emotional trauma first. Now my only fear is getting hurt again. Thanks for your video.
Blessings on your Journey 💜🙏🏽🕊️
SISTER! TAKE YOUR TIME AND TRY TO KEEP YOUR PEACE WHY YOU HAVE IT…BECAUSE THESE MEN NOWADAYS A LOT OF THEM OLDER MEN ARE MESSING WITH THESE YOUNG ASS WOMEN…AND LYING AND ON THE DOWN LOW! SO YOU BE VERY CAREFUL! OUT IN THIS WORLD 🌎 I BEEN BY MYSELF NOW FOR 8 YEARS! AND I THANK GOD! FOR MY PEACE OF MIND!
And you still not a Virgin😂
@@joannecahee2367just like yall Carrie stds and the highest rate don't put all men in your messed up analysts
I'm enjoying single life i have no extention to have SEX the world get too nasty 🤔
There's nothing like having that peace of mind and tranquility in life.
After my divorce from my narcissistic husband, I went 15 years of celibacy.
Actually, I discovered it to be empowering. My health was great, and every body part works fine.
As a healthy straight woman, I never thought I would say that 'sex is overrated'. 😊😊😊
You go girl!
You said it like it is.
👍👍👍
True.
😊
No pregnancy, no pregnancy scares to age you 10 years, no diseases, no stress about cheating men= 7 to 8 hrs of sleep every night stress free😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
When I was pregnant with my fourth child at 28 years old people thought I was between 16 and 18 years old. So does that mean that if I had no kids I would look like an 8 year old? I have 5 kids now and am 34. People still think I’m in my early 20s. I get just as much sleep after children as compared to before children, and I have found that I am less stressed out after having children as compared to before having children. Society likes to portray children as burdens and I disagree.
I can understand why you have all those weeping little emoji faces on your post. EVER wonder why you're alive AT ALL? (eg. Y'can have all those things you've listed, including 24 HOURS of stress-free 'sleep' every night if you step in front of a fast-moving truck.
@@erikatamayo1925 Eureka!! A genuine woman! (got a sister?). Incidentally, are you aware that modern science has figured out what causes all those kids? 😁
@erikatamayo1925 Eureka!! A genuine woman! (got a sister?). Incidentally, are you aware that modern science has figured out what causes all those kids? 😁
@@dabbbles lmao yes, I am fully aware of the cause of all five of my pregnancies.
Recently became Celibate & consider staying this way for as long as I'm able to and I'm looking at years
Awesome!
Two years of celibacy, and have never loved myself more, nor been happier in life.
Hello how're you doing?
er-r-r There's a word for 'loving yourself'. But it's not true that it will make you go blind. And as for never being happier, I can only assume you had an absolutely MISERABLE previously. 😆
Does your finger ever get tired while you're loving yourself?
@@dabbbles hello 👋
@@mikedenison121 hello indeed. But why??
Incidentally, my computer is fucking up seriously and I might be off the air for the next while.
I'm a widow of four years and abstinent .I'm happy healthy and not interested in starting any kind of relationship with anyone.
❤️❤️
Me too. Not a widow, never been married, but had long relationships and had my daughter when I was 17. Haven't had sex in ages, don't miss it and not interested in any kind of relationship. For me sex is over-rated. Different strokes for different folks I guess.
Oh
Good for you.
Wow
Being widowed too young for 7 years, it's like a whole different world after 27 yrs of marriage.
It's scary, and to tell someone you need to get tested first, and I need to see the papers from the Dr.
When they refuse, you say ok, move on, and keep your disease to yourself, I'm healthy, and if I have to remain abstinent to stay healthy, so be it!
Omg I’m so with you/ I ask to see papers and show others papers too. I’ve been ridiculed and criticized and walked out on many times because
Of this. Hang in there
@@DrJenCaudle I've went right to the clinic when I was in the city in my 30s. If they couldn't do it, then WE weren't going to do it!
Yay 😀 wonderful way to live 😊I was married at 29 for 21 years got widowed at 51 years young 😢and no way do I date nor do I want anyone in my Orchid’s Secret Garden ❤ i love knowing my GOD and my Temple are Sacred ❤and at 55 years young 😊I love knowing I can work on myself to become my best version of me ❤
@@monicaramirez51015amén!!
Syphilis is still alive and all std's
39 and only been with one woman...mainly because of my social anxiety...I thought it was going to be forever but it was only for 2 years. Now I'm focusing on making money and working 65 hours a week. I got a part time job after the break up for an extra 25 hours a week .. I'm happy. Not saying I won't trust/love again but it's not a priority at this time.
I was quite promiscuous early on, until I got pregnant with my daughter at 33. I was celibate for 10 years after that, because I wanted to do things differently. I waited until I met my current boyfriend and it made our early sex life so exciting. Emotionally, I felt like a virgin again. ❤
Lol I'd hate to get pregnant at 33 lol I'm childfree. I want to live my life with out kids. I'm promiscuous with my bf though😂 but I dont want kids to stop that😂😂.
Amen! That is what's up
I had my son at 31. After me and his dad divorced I did the same thing you did, not sex for about 5 yrs. Once I met my 2nd husband I was constantly turned on🤣🤣
@@vikingrolloishot1789😮
@@vikingrolloishot1789 So then, you'd hate getting pregnant at any age, not just at 33. Because you don't want kids. Weird thing to specify when you don't want kids at all and haven't had any at any age. lol
My partner died in a tragic fire seven years ago this Saturday and I’ve been single/celibate since. As a survivor of the incident I really needed to do nothing, but nurture my heart and mental health, I escaped yet not totally unscathed. Thank you so much for expressing NOT to feel shame. I’m bawling but feeling totally comforted. Idk how this ended up in my feed but it’s exactly what I needed to hear right now. ❤️
I’m so sorry that you lost your husband in such a horrible way. I hope your body continues to heal.
❤❤❤
So very sorry for your loss! Take care of yourself!
God bless you 🤗
❤❤❤
I love how human you are and make this a safe space to talk about things that are considered “taboo”. We need more doctors like you!
Aww thank you
Agree. You seem very sweet. I'm older almost 65 and never had sex. And my vagina never closed up. I'm actually fine but it would be nice to find Mr. Right.
Proud to say I'm abstinent for 12 years! I'm saving it for if I get married. If not, I really have no desire for sex anymore and consider myself asexual
Ok!
Abstinent for 10 years plus and I’m only 39. I definitely feel the anxiety because the dating world is so scary and as a woman I just want to make sure at my age it’s someone that is worthy. Thank you for the video. ❤
Life is beautiful with friends 🤝
Interested
Worthy, what do you think you got down there? A pot of gold !
@@russellzigler2180 that's you don't understand
Amen
Dr. Jen you are an angel! I am 48 years old and still a virgin. My beliefs have kept me from having intercourse until marriage and when i was younger, i did feel like an outsider. Everyone seems to talk about sex socially and never having sex before, i could never join in or add anything to the conversation. I felt like something was wrong with me and that i was the last person on Earth to stay a virgin. I've grown wiser to know everyone is different and live their lives as the please. Weather you're a virgin or sexually active, you are no more or less for being either , thank you for your kind and amazing words!
I now know some of what my body has gone through staying a virgin and now that i'm older how much more difficult it might be if and when i marry but with great advice like this, i'm not worried at all! Again, thank you, Doctor! You are a true blessing!
God bless you and i applaud you for doing what is right for you. that is the most important thing. and yes, the peer pressure can be tough, but at the end of the day it's about what is right for you. hang in there- you got this! and thanks for sharing- you will inspire others!
You're not missing anything love 😒😂 you got this! I commend you
You will be a virgin... never will change. Wonder if you have prominent Virgo placements.
If you ever do meet a man and fall in love you will find that losing your virginity at your age is quite a bit more difficult than it would be if you were a young woman. The hymen becomes fiberous and extremely difficult for a man to push through...I would highly recommend that you have a OB/GYN perform a simple hymen removal procedure before that first sexual experience. I "broke in" my girlfriend, who was a virgin, at age 55 so I am speaking from experience... You will also need hormonal replacement.
@@SmittySmith-lu9bh
Umm that was your experience with a 55 years old virgin but I think you should know every woman is different.
I commend her for not have sex outside of marriage, this is a blessing 😢
I have been abstinent for 10 years now, and during this time, I have had breast cancer and had to have a total hysterectomy (both 3 years ago). I now have zero libido, no interest in sex, and have no desire to be with another person, whether sexually or romantically. Some people find this insane, especially due to my age, but I am not bothered by it. I have had my children, who are now adults, and I am able to focus more on my health, career, faith, and family. Thank you for your message that it's OK to be this way. I enjoyed this video!
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾❤️
Amen Sister!
If you ever meet the right one, there are some things called yoni stones. Dryness and decreased elasticity is caused by lack of circulation, get blood flowing and it will come alive again. Yoni stones also increase pelvic muscle tone which is always a good thing, reduces the possibility of incontinence in later years.
@@Mstee1855 I have the same story. I had stage 3 inflammatory breast cancer then a couple years later had to have a hysterectomy. I call myself an old jalopy. I have one headlight and I don't have an engine anymore. 😄
@@mora_007where do u find them?
43 here, and it's been 3 years and counting🤷🏼♀️ and I'm good with that.. caused me lots of problems with not being able to carry a child and the heartaches of miscarriage after miscarriage... Traumatizing I'll tell ya. The one thing I thought I'd be growing up...a mom! It's caused some depression through the years as well... Thanks for sharing this!!!❤❤
Let’s not forget that not having sex can be very positive, as having sex with the wrong person, without the right feelings, can cause anxiety and a whole host of huge problems.
Yup
And you absorb their negative energy through sex which can drain you physically and mentally.
I want a woman who knows what love, care, understanding is.
@@comtaar2245 Not having sex at all only means one thing! Deep psychological problems which may be impossible to solve. Hope they get the help they deserve!
I was celibate for a few years. Because I always had "buyers remorse" lol I felt I gave more then I got. But that was something I had to figure out for myself. Then I met a man had a 10 year committed, no living together but actively dating with great sex. Had an accident and it changed me. Been single a year. So I get what your saying. Sometimes you just need to be alone and do you without having to think of someone else.
Abstinence is sweet no soulties no heartbreaks no anxiety.of cos intimacy is good if in a wonderful relationship.
I completely understand and respect your stance. You deserve to be loved and respected for who you are, and your body is your own to share or not share as you choose. It's amazing that you're prioritizing your own worth and boundaries like that. You're right, intimacy and love should be mutual and respectful, not just about physical desire. Keep holding out for someone who will love and appreciate you fully, because you're worth it!
Thank you for knowing abstinence isn't the same as celibacy!
I was celibate almost 5 years in my twenties . I just didn’t want to have premarital sex anymore . It wasn’t hard but it was more lonely than anything . It did increase my libido but I just felt a lot of peace from being celibate 🤷🏾♀️.
Females have 2 choices how they’re going to live their lives:
A: FREE healthcare, medicines, surgeries, take care of themselves be Healthy, Free, Celibate in the pursuit of happiness with good nights of sleeping have FREE Acupuncture needle needling the cure for chronic pain.
B: brought and sold, chronic pain and misery, always pregnant, taking care of Children and the Elderly, hysterectomies hip replacements, hacked into pieces, doped up on opioids, edge of suicide, call girls, sex workers, bags of meat with a vagina, chattel property, Servants, Concubines, beasts of burden, regularly viciously raped, and Prostitutes; blessed by the Pope(holy men) to be good, gracious, godly, motherly, holy, humane, and sane.
I'm 66 years old I haven't lost my vagina yet if I lose it I better go find it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🎯👍🏈🏈🏈👍☝️☝️🤞🤞🤞
You can achieve the very same condition in a solitary-confinement gaol-cell. It's called 'Giving up'.
Me neither. I dont want to have premarital sex anymore. Ive been with two men and have done it no more than 30 times - thats it. But i wanted to be a virgin until marriage but then got coerced into it. Now I have a deep fear of dating and just prefer to be alone and celibate
Sort of like the difference between being murdered and suiciding.
So informative dear. I once worked as a Sexual and Reproductive Health officer on a project, there was very little to talk about men's reproductive health, so putting dots together , we can find a lot of resourcefulness in your talk.So keep the science rolling....
Thanks for your comments!
I am in my early 70’s and had my last affair at 69. It was with a former friend whom I met in my 30’s. It started out really great and then it started to go south after two years. I ended the relationship and afterwards found out that not only was he using hard drugs but also was a narcissist. I felt so betrayed that not only have I lost all desire for sex, but I just can’t stand men anymore. What an eye opener - would have saved me many breakups and heartbreaks had I learned this lesson at an earlier age. I have a precious, sweet puppy dog and I’m happier and freer now than I have ever been in my life. She follows me around the house and we sleep and eat together and she shows me so much loyalty and PURE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. I am so grateful for her💕🥰🐾😍
Kevin Samuel's warned ya'll about that 🐕 💀 alone.
Thank you
@@derricklangford4725AND HE IS DEAD.What was his warning for himself.We choose peace of mind over arguing with mad men
I’m 73 and hoping to have an affair, soon.
I am done with men in my 30s. I choose my dogs as well.
I have been celibate for 10 years, and I have been in menopause since 43.
I had a great sex life but just never chose great people.
Celibacy has been a great choice for me.
I totally understand- and you’re not alone with the great sex but not great people bit. Hang in there
@@DrJenCaudle I am!!
Thank you for helping us menopausal women navigate through this. I felt so alone in my experience.
Amen
I know it’s NOT you …I rather say this instead ….the quality of men in America is extremely low …..
Men play with our emotions a lot I have been celibate for7 months I don't want to be hurt
Doctor, thank you for the video. I am an unmarried woman in my late twenties who is a virgin. I’ve made a vow of chastity and have devoted my time to God for spiritual reasons. I have learned a lot from this video and once again, thank you.
God I love this. I'm telling you if I didn't have a daughter I would still be a virgin. Honestly I don't like sex
@danajacobs9097 so do you think it's because of the experience you had or do you think its sex in general?
Thank you Dr. Jen Caudle for the gems of information you give to us each time. It is greatly appreciated.
10 years of abstinence by choice after getting out of an abusive relationship (physical, verbal, and emotional). He was my only relationship but before him I never had any good experiences with men while dating. I knew I had to heal so I made the choice to not date or have sex. After a while I realized not only did I not miss it, all of the issues I had with myself went away. I wasnt second guessing my worth or putting terrible people's feelings before mine. Recently I decided to try and dip back in the dating pool but I quickly retreated when the men pursuing me didn't want to wait more than 15 minutes before talking about sex/sending dick pics. If I ever have sex again it has to mean something and be with someone who actually values me. Alot of guys who show interest are not about that life so I will continue to stay to myself.
I feel ya 🙌
I agree 💯
100 💯
💯💯
15 mins wait only. dam 😅😂
Its been over 21 years for me. I feel so healthy mentally. No problems here. Just gets a bit lonelyat times.
🙌🏾🙌🏾
How old are you😂😂😂
Lol if u need a sex partner say dat lol I'm jk
Let somebody hit it !
@@russellzigler2180 aggy ASF lol
Celibate for 24 years... best decision ever.. for me. Not for everybody. Yes, pap smears are extremely painful, but it's once a year, so no big deal. Yes, I still have a libido, but the urges past, and I can go months and not even think about it. But sure, things can still arouse me, just like before I became celibate. I'm proud of my choice, and when I tell other women, yes, I have been teased.. whatever I just say, do you and I will do me.
@user-wh5ir4fo4r reading the various posts and finding out for the first time I'm not alone! I wish more women would come forward
I am so proud of you. I am now into 7 years of celibacy. I am looking forward to my 20th Anniversary.🎉🎉🎉💃💃💃
@@ourblazingworldI know. I feel like I’m in the minority. Yet, I see many women feel similar. ❤
@@ourblazingworld
Why would you feel proud?
@@ourblazingworld Why should women come forward?
I’m astounded that adult women in this century don’t know better but I’m very glad you’re here answering questions!
Yes, In the year 2024. To be fair some of these women were taken advantage of and are now with Damaged Goods syndrome. Or God told them not to do it. It is dirty, and whatever else is on their list. Life is hard. Also I get complaints from guys who are also Damaged Goods. See it goes both ways. The complaints include the woman's a financial vampire. The women is jaded. The woman thinks you are her latest fixer up project. She doesn't love me back. Society is scared death to address these things upfront. Oh we can't talk about it. Education is needed right now on both sides of the coin. We need to teach Human relations, love and sex.
2.5 years and loving it. NO soul ties and clear mind.😁
😊
Clear cnut, too. Don't know why you bothered getting one!
💯
By 'clear mind' I presume you men 'brainless'?
You go girl!! Cheering for you!! Congratulations for being celibate!! 💕💕💕💕💕
I recently went without sex for 7 years. .Ive been in a beautiful new relationship for about 4 months and everything worked fine after going so long.
You’re committing fornication and that’s not pleasing to God,
good job grasshopper
Good to hear!,👍🏻
I've been married to the same man for over 30 years. However due to some medical issues on his part we experienced a nearly 10 years abstinence. We still love and cherish each other and still feel close to one another but the physical side didn't exist for a long time. It was strange at first and frustrating for me even as I worked hard to be a supportive partner but during that time I feel like this gave us a chance for our relationship to mature in ways we never expected. It allowed us to focus on other aspects of our relationship to.keep the intimacy alive despite not having sex. We came away from the time knowing that we could count on each other no matter how hard things would get because we learned to appreciate other things about each other aside from the physical. I kind of wish all couples would take a sex time out to.experience that period of growth.
I agree.
Amazing
Informative story, thanks for sharing.
I’m going through this at this moment with my hubby he has health issues no sex I’m very sexual active sometimes I just want to go get some sec somewhere else but I alive him can’t do it
Is he not able to stroke and pet you? Personally I'd rather be stroked than penetrated. 9:24 9 9:30 9:3
My husband passed 10 years ago. I am in my 70's. I have no intention of becoming sexually active again.
What about just a date?
BEEN CELIBATE FOR 5 YEARS. I LOVE IT. SO PEACEFUL IN SO MANY WAYS❤
🙌🏾🙌🏾
Me also, just over 5 years!
@@Sophia-em8fp If you are loving it, there is something wrong deep in you mind
These comments are interesting. I’ve been celibate for 5 years and it’s a struggle! Im about ready to marry any ol body at this point! Got all ur teeth? Cool, I Do! 💍😅
@LizLoveLight LMAO NOT ALL YOUR TEETH. I JUST DONT LIKE PEOPLE SO IT MAKES IT EASIER🤣 DON'T GET ME WRONG, I'M NOT DEAD BUT ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS ASK SOMEONE A FEW QUESTIONS... THAT USUALLY KILLS ANY INTEREST. 😬🤣💯
I'm 41. I've not had sex in nearly 3 years and everyone around me is shocked. They say things like "I could never! How are you not losing your mind?!" It's hilarious. I've had so much more peace not dating and not having sex. I haven't noticed any changes in my body.
Totally true. Less worries.
@@ellenso9731-
yeah - i read lot of people when they get older just want peace and stability 😅 you really do..people make it all such hardwork.
Baby I did 10 years
@@blackbeauty8170 yeah I'm thinking that's how long it will be for me before Divine Intervention comes through lol
10 years??? 😱@@blackbeauty8170
I practice intermittent abstinence and often go a year+ without sex. I’m quite particular about who I’ll share myself with. I’m so proud to see all of your stories and testimonies in the comments. Blessings to you all🙏🏽💜
Yassss!! Me too I definitely don’t feel so alone now 💜💜
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Oh you're putting a title on just abstaining.
Thank you am exactly experiencing something here .
1 year without just sex? or orgasm? big difference
I'm almost 66,and because I'm no longer married I've abstained from sex for many many years but have the sex drive of a woman in her early 20's which is challenging at times but I will continue,praise God!💙😊
I’ve been divorced for 9 years, and celibate for a little over 10. Having been married for 20 years, the mere thought of even dating again is intimidating. I mean, prior to my divorce, I hadn’t been single since 1993, and things have changed exponentially since then! People weren’t even texting the last time I was on a date with anyone other than my ex, Lol! I will admit that there is an air of embarrassment that comes along with being celibate for so long, and in all honesty, I’m not sure why. I would much rather be celibate than reckless, but still, it’s not something thing that I divulge to people.
I love being celibate- several years now best decision I ever made
🙌🏾🙌🏾
Really
@@DrJenCaudleso question i got a condition called vaginismus due to a tramautic first experience. After that sex was just very painful and uncomfortable..i lost trust in men and haven't had sex in 14yrs would this mean i will have even more pain?
@@DrJenCaudlesuffered from depression for over 30+yrs and that was one of the reasons
I believe there is someone you will trust and make you happier and move forward in life.
❤Thank you
All my celibacy group of ppl. It’s amazing and encouraging to hear how many of us are out here.
YESSSSSSS!!!!!!
We’re here 🤗🤗
To many diseases. Soul ties are for real. Sex is overrated.
Yas the wise virgins
I agree!!
Thank you for this explanation its been 5 years for me and my spouse i suffer from endometriosis so its very painful so we find other ways to bond couldn't ask for a better husband then the one i have now. He's super supportive and understanding.
I had endometriosis. A hysterectomy was the best thing through a lot easier to do and more risk through these days. Minimally invasive surgery, etc.
It’s been 13 years for me and I am not ashamed. People do think it’s strange that I am 42 and have only had 2 sex partners. I don’t care and I will wait until I find my next husband.
That’s TOTALLY ok! And you should be proud!
do you feel lucky with that?
I admonish you!
That is something to Celebrate. . . .
I completely understand and respect your stance. You deserve to be loved and respected for who you are, and your body is your own to share or not share as you choose. It's amazing that you're prioritizing your own worth and boundaries like that. You're right, intimacy and love should be mutual and respectful, not just about physical desire. Keep holding out for someone who will love and appreciate you fully, because you're worth it!
I'm so encouraged by these comments. I don't feel so alone. We need more of these conversations I was feeling terrible for not having sex like it's not common for ppl around me to just be Disciplined sexually. Thanks, ladies!
It’s all good. And you’re JUST FINE 😀
I jumped on this so fast. I am a 48 year old virgin. Partially because I haven’t met someone I feel like getting that intimate with, but mostly because I have a physical disability. To the point that the physical part scares me. I’ve always felt that you can’t miss something you don’t know. But the point you made about loss of elasticity hit home, especially since I have other elasticity issues. Thank you for the info. It was mainly things I already knew, but it’s always good to be reassured.
Of course and trust yourself and continue doing what is right for you! You got this!
Wow!!! I am in awe of you.. 💕💕
I applaud you!!! Stay blessed!
YOU ARE NOT MUSSING A THING HONEST
What you’ve never had you never miss. But if you’ve had it and it’s been good you miss it when it’s not available anymore. My experience.
I appreciate the video. Going without sex has allowed me another level of self-love. It’s been intentional celibacy.
🙌🏾🙌🏾
Same too
That's a perversion of nature. (does 'another level of self-love' mean you grew extra fingers?
A long way around the bushes to explain 'an inability to get a boyfriend'. Consider the REASON you and ALL your female forebears (along with everyone else's) has a vagina and uterus, etc. Perhaps just a talking-point to avoid the 'Sounds of Silence'??
You sound like a fantastic doctor and your patients are lucky to have you.
Aww thank you so much!
It’s OKAY to not have sex!!! Cannot stress this enough!
👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾
Truth Indeed AMEN 🙏
Is that because you can’t get it 🥴
@@chadjordan2099?
Abstinence is a perversion of nature. Cannot stress THAT enough!