I'm an androgynous trans man, and just wanted to be seen as such. T is enough for me. I was uncomfortable in the "lady looks like a dude" look. Now I am feeling better, more and more it's "that dude looks like a lady" comments, which is right for me. Do what is needed to improve your well-being 🤗
I found this very interesting (I'm a masculine binary transman), thanks for sharing! My brother in law is very similar, he likes being feminine more so than masculine (hes also binary trans), and I just love his look so much, handsome and pretty at the same time!
I know I am transgender but have realistic medical expectations of my ability to medically transition so am fully focused on spiritually and emotionally becoming the feminine human I am. I have found I am seen as feminine when I am fully owning my true self. I really liked this video and the message it holds. 🌺
I am at a hard time of my life. I alredy know i was transgender but in reality i have found that late in terms of social transition and medical. I have just changed my name and gender on documents arrounf 2017 and made social transition since that day. But thst was not enought so i went to my doctor and she helped me to follow a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist made me a GD and too follow a endocrino but unfortunatlylast year i had a stroke. I was not taking hormones yet and with my historic i am afraid not to transition in medical terms. I know i am Shaylla. This is very hard. I will meet my endocrino in some 6 months 3/4 weeks before i will make some blood exams. She wants me to dtart with finasterida in 6 months from now. But the rest i do not know.
I agree that the term "transgender" is really confusing. Many people who are nonbinary insist that they're "not trans", and some of them probably aren't, because there is this built-in assumption that trans people need to transition into the opposite gender on the binary. For myself, I do feel a strong pull towards transitioning. I'm not sure sure if I need to transition completely or only partially though. My therapist has referred me to a medical specialist to explore beginning anti androgens at month's end, so I guess I'll be finding out in a bit.
Exactly! The vocabulary is a problem and causing more confusion. In general, one has to think of themselves and focus inwards. Glad to hear you are doing this.
@LouLa-Rae Barnard There was an article I read recently, I wish I could recall what and where, about the history of trans activism. Much of what Kate said corresponds to the article. If I can find the article I'll post the link so everyone can read it and discuss it if they'd like.
I came out as trans in 1983. It took me nearly 40 years in a trans feminine state before I decided to hormonally transition a couple of years ago. This was a GREAT video! There is no reason to rush. That being said, there is no reason to wait if that is what is in your heart either. Gender expression changes, during the time I was a transfeminine, I went through more masculine and more feminine phases. It’s just an amazing wave to ride. As you said there’s plenty of room in Family Trans!
I identified as trans early in my life even though I didn't know the term until my 20s I never feel pressure to transition until I had my first therapist and she had me on the fast track and the pressure made me stop because I knew I wasn't ready. 30 years later I reached a point where I wanted to transition while the new therapist did push a little until I showed her one of videos that talked about taking small steps and she agreed while I've only been on hormones a year it is very important to me that my body doesn't look like a man in a dress and as I told her once I feel I reached that point I can take the next step the hormones are doing a good job so I'll get there soon. I also been exploring with dress style, make up etc.. for me it's a slow journey and it's great completing those little goals. Once you filter out those that just seek attention and want affirmation there is some really useful information. I look forward to every Thursday as you release new content. I can't thank you enough as I imagine you keep very busy with you practice and sharing content. I've shared your channel with a few of my students as they seek their paths in life!
Hi and thank you for commenting. It is very important, especially if someone who identifies as a trans woman, to easy into clothing expression. I often tell my clients, first lets push envelope to a bit androgeneous look and than when you feel confident, a bit more. Putting on female clothing while you are not ready can spiral you into transphobia and can deeply regress your transition. I'll do a video on this for sure.
your videos are always such a boon to my spirit. thanks so much for doing what you do. it has a positive effect that is nearly beyond words. this video in particular hit close to home.
I have seen this also. Many dont choose to transition, it may be because of identity at their jobs, or similar needs to stay as is, OR still many that simply choose on their own to not. its good in all things to be able to have choices. if ya can, doesnt always in every case mean go for it! Some go thru long processes or short in thinking to Do this or NOT to go forward. Totally good point and video! BUT If ya cant decide on your own, then get a more professional advise from one like Dr Z. Cause ive talked to many GOOD doctors, but many of them dont know anything about Trans questions, or those asking such questions get a blank from the doctor.
This is a great video! It also confirms that I am right in my decision, and I thank you for that! I have always identified as a TG but have never had any interest in hormones or surgery. If I could I would live most of the time presenting as a female (makes me feel free and at peace with myself) but this would not go well with my wife - she is a wonderful woman whom I adore, and knows everything about me. Thus I live my life as a run of the mill cross-dresser who is fairly passable, and who puts a lot of effort in dressing like any cisgender woman my age would... all I want is to be seen as anybody's neighbour, sister, mother, wife, daughter, etc.
Your videos randomly popped up onto my feed and honestly I'm glad as I feel I may be trans (I am afab) but I don't really want surgery except possibly top surgery but I know I'm not comfortable with being female and I've been dressing as a guy for a few years now. These videos are helping me figure out what's going on haha and I'm glad you say transitioning isn't a requirement, thank you
Thanks for this video! I am a proud transwomen and I feel like people make a false assumption that they have to take medicine and undergo surgeries to feel validation from others. This video preaches finding self validation. I am 100% a transwomen even without HRT or surgery. For others that undergo medicine and it helps them feel better, I am happy for them. There appears to be alot of discrimination in our community from other post op transwomen being upset that someone chooses and remains a women without modern medicine.
You're got a lot of useful information. It's a shame you've not got more subscribers. Perhaps you should look into purchasing some ad space. If you have the means of course. I'd love to see more people being reached. You never know how much it might help someone.
you're SO helpful! i try to explain this to my mom too. she doesn't think I'm trans because i haven't had surgeries, taken hormones, ect. most of my dysphoria is from "gender expression" or "social dysphoria." my name, pronouns, make me uncomfortable. i do have some chest dysphoria but i bind and it's pretty mild 95% of the time.
Really great video, I'm currently thinking things through again as I've started HRT for a few months now and am struggling to see how far to push it in other aspects, videos like it helps a lot and are definitely DEFINITELY important, thank you! 💚💚
Hi Dr. Z! Another great video, and so necessary. There are two separate issues being addressed here that intertwine. As to the title of this video, your message is right on point. I spend countless hours explaining to cis people and and trans people alike that no one chooses to be trans - if it turns out that someone that a person figures out they are trans, it's just the point of realization and that they have always been trans. It's an inate facet of one's core being. Transitioning, on the other hand, is a choice, though many times, the only viable choice (as in choosing between life and death). I see choosing to transition as a risk/benefit analysis or a gain/loss one. I know transbinary people who chose not to transition because, while there was great benefit to transitioning, they concluded that the loss would have been greater. I myself am trans and very binary, but would have only taken enough baby steps so as to make my dysphoria manageable if it meant I could keep my family. The choice was made for me when my wife of 35 years got a restraining order against me because of being trans and suffering PTSD and then filed for divorce. In a sense, her reaction is my fault because I always knew I was trans and was never in denial ... and never told her - everything in our marriage became a lie to her and boom! I started transitioning immediately as the cost side of the equation disappeared. I lost everything but gained my unfettered self. After six months I already had a c+/d cup ... WooHoo! Full steam ahead! The second point is one that addresses an insidious notion - that everyone under the umbrella is the same - transition is either necessary for everyone or no one. I explained this is a comment to a video, explaining that, since my needs are different to those that are nonbinary or genderfluid, and that they are starting to get minimized under the umbrella, I was going to start referring to myself as a lesbian transsexual woman because my medical needs are important and different from someone who doesn't need to transition. - I was called a transmedicalist terf! I was furious and answered the accusations. I spent way too much time explaining that a great many trans people do not need to medically transition nor are they required to suffer dysphoria. I explained that I am trans, very binary and have no idea what it's like to be nonbinary, genderfluid, not suffer from dysphoria or experience gender euphoria. I do, however, know what it's like to be trans, and that's enough. Who the hell am I to question anyone's core sense of self? Of course we are all under the trans umbrella. I remained cordial but almost went too far. I mean, who the hell is a cis person to condemn me as a terf or transmedicalist - we are being stereotyped from all sides. We are human beings with human needs, experiences, and human emotions. We deserve to be treated with human dignity and with equaity. We are not carbon copies of each other on any level and deserve to be treated as individuals. The bigoted views of the trans umbrella , coming at us from all sides, must be changed and the nature of the umbrella be made clear - It's becoming a serious problem.
Thanks for sharing and you are always welcome to comment as much as you want! I totally hear you about the double bind you describe below regarding trans umbrella terms and views. This are challenges that prevent all of us to have an open conversation.
@Sacha Barbie Hi Sacha! Ummm, you are wrong - large breasts run in the family and I am extremely sensitive to estradiol. Week one of HRT, my b.o. changed completely (gone) and breast buds could be felt at two weeks. At four week, body hair was coming back in after shaving slower, finer, and lighter - it was actually a little unsettling. Everything has come along much faster than I expected. I went from a training bra to c+/d cup way faster than I expected. If you need me to post my doses and latest bloodwork, I will. So, yeah, I may not be the norm, but your are in error ...
@Sacha BarbieOh Sweetie, there's a reason there is no profile picture of me - I loathe those things that trigger my dysphoria. I've been patient with you , now and in the past. You clearly don't know what the hell you are talking about and I don't have to show you a damn thing. Prove me wrong., ..... (here is where I stop to avoid the use of derogatory epithets ..)
Thank you very much for your videos, they are very helpful and informations are very accurate. I agree with what you say. I realized I am transgender, I realized that this isn't my body and I have to change something. However, I still have a lot of fears about medical transition, and this makes me realize that maybe I'm not ready for that step yet. Sometimes we instinctively feel inside that transition is our way, but too many uncertainties indicate that perhaps we are not ready at THAT MOMENT. It's better take some time to explore and strengthen our true identity and 'build' who we are. Sometimes it's frustrating, because I want feel ready NOW and start living my real life in my real gender
May I confess something? I've been following trans and detrans issues for 1.5 years and I saw lots of what appeared to be incoherent messages on both sides...but you seem very coherent and responsible and provide cautious and useful advice! Thank you! I'm probably non-binary or agender or something, not quite sure what the word would be (I'm a 90's teenager and we didn't have the words back then). I'm still learning about gender. Anyway, thank you!
I'm 35 and have struggled with my gender expression for the last 35 years. I felt that times I wanted to be more feminine but then I always thought myself because I was reminded of how I was told it was wrong as a teenager since I am not biologically a woman. About 5 years ago I learned that I made a gendered is for you and I had this desire to want to be a woman. When I learned that I felt like I had to transition and that kind of made me scared. So I decided not to do that and I suppressed my feelings. Three months ago I started exploring my gender again since I had feelings and wanted to be a woman. Through this time and doing more research I realizing that I don't have to transition or I don't have to feel like I have to go through full transition that I can explore the various aspects of my gender and see what helps with my feelings of gender dysphoria. I am still scared at times whether or not making the right choice but I'm not feeling like running away because I know that as long as I start with things that can be reversed then I can explore and see how far I want to transition.
As always, you have the best information on the topic Dr. Z. I've been wondering for a while about who actually feel like they have to transition but don't desire to. It's kinda hard for me to figure. What is this "authority" that make them believe that they have to? Is it just social pressure? As whole, society is clearly not pressuring us to transition. It's quite the opposite actually. Up until now I assumed that if you felt that you have to transition that it was because you felt uncomfortable with your assigned gender, felt a desire to transition or a combination of both.
Thank you Dr Z! Another hard hitting but very pertinent topic! For me I got to the stage in my life that I had no choice but to transition. As soon as I went on to HRT my depression started lifting and my outlook started changing. I chose not to transition in 2015 and I got seriously mentally ill. I know that it is very different for everyone but this has been my personal experience.
Thank you, Excellent video, I feel the narrative of your trans its time to transition is being pushed to hard, take a breath and find whats right for the individual..
I would love to share my story and also I hope you, Dr.Z, can help me with my identity. Thank you! I am Asian. I was born with biological male body. Since I was a kid, my friends (mostly boys) called me " a faggot" because I looked like a girl with feminine acts. When I was in high school, my teacher told me "You ran like a girl" (even though my hair was short as other boys). The more I grew up, the more feminine my apperance became even though I didn't even know about those terms of HRT or trans or this "umbrella terms". That was my childhood. Recently, I grow my hair and when I wear T shirt with short pant, some people thought I was a girl. But about my feeling, I am happy to be called "a girl" and I enjoy feminine things and long hair, wearing high heels and make up, doing nail, wearing girls clothes. I just wish I can a have a chance to get married with a man who love me as I am now. Of course, I don't use HRT, not yet...That's why I need your help Dr.Z? What am I according to my story above? I want to respect the body that my parents gave me with a natural looks but I also love my feminine side and want to be treated as a lady (but stuck inside this male body, how can I?) I hope you can read my comments and help me with your advice, Doctor! Thank you so much! I love your taste of fashion!
Ok I understand now. I am trans feminine so I AM transitioning and getting the parts that are congruent with the way I identify. My previous question was for those who identify as trans but don’t want the parts congruent with the way they identify which I didn’t understand until now so thank you for clearing that up for me. Love what you do. Take care be safe and god bless. 😘 Martina
I been loving how hrt makes me look and feel. My doubts are that I could regret surgeries and find that my doubts are real only later. I have been enjoying my transition but I’m scared to commit all the way incase I’m wrong.
Thanks for sharing and your fears are common, many fear regretting surgery so it is a normal experience to have this fear. It does help to explore the underlying cause of that fear with a local therapist as it can help greatly.
Thank you for being on here!! You are such a great resource. I love the topics you've been speaking about recently. I am non binary and I want top surgery but I don't think I need HRT. Transition looks different for everyone.
Thanks for sharing and you are spot on. Transition is very individualized. You won't believe the variations I have seen over the years. All valid and legit.
Thank you so much I’ve watched multiple of your videos throughout like the past year and it’s just really reaffirming. From a young teenager I knew I wasn’t necessarily a part of the social gender binary but didn’t know how to describe it so for years I just labeled as my born sex bc I didn’t care either way. As I grew older, became more self aware, and after discovering into the exact term for my Sexual orientation I then figured it was time to discover the terminology for my gender identity finally since they’re pretty connected. I thought I knew the answer to my recent question being “Is Genderqueer a part of the Trans umbrella” and evidently I think you helped me realize I was right all along. That is is indeed under the trans umbrella. Thank you. Bless you. Have a beautiful day!
I'm thinking that for a lot of people, wanting to leave the binary and stepping into the ring with your expression, is almost an automatic qualifier for being transgender.
This is the exact issue I'm dealing with right now. I'm currently identifying as genderfluid and trans and I recently talked to a dr about getting hormones. She asked me how I want to end up and I described it as a fairy prince, looking more androgynous and feminine, but still no breasts. She recommended I get FFS and do hair removal and makeup, but not take hormones. I felt so distraught because I was looking forward to hormones so much. I wanted the feminine skin and redistribution of fat. I also suggested a drug to her and she mentioned that the drug doesn't in fact feminize you except for your chest, like I thought it did. So, I'm at a place in my life where I'm not sure what to do next. I want to continue to transition, but I also have no clue how to move forward as a trans genderfluid person who wants their body to be slightly different. Honestly, I just wish I could shapeshift and I could spend time as a woman when I wanted, and be a better looking man than I am now when I want. But that's fantasy.
Shape shifting is the dream. Sometimes I want to be masc, sometimes femme, sometimes mixed, sometimes genderless, sometimes inhuman. The best I think I can do as a bio male is combine hair removal, FFS, hairstyles, clothing and make-up to create whichever look I prefer at the time and give myself flexibility. Maybe a little breast augmentation, but pads and pocket bras etc might do the trick. But it will never really satisfy, and I'll always feel wrong naked.
Thank you fairy prince for sharing, sorry not sure if you weaned me to use listed name or not given your gender fluid identity. IT can be challenging to find your transition path as well and sometimes it is a trial and error too.
Hi Dr. Z, thanks for another informative video. I am trans binary in my 40s and I've just started my social transition, coming out to family, friends and colleagues. That experience in itself has made me feel more confident and comfortable. However, while I want start HRT, I don't feel, at least at the moment, that I want to, or even need to fully transition.
Thanks for sharing and go with the flow. Let each step be a guiding affirmation in the right direction. If you dont feel affirmed, it could be time to question things or to see if maybe now is not the right time.
I really appreciate this video. It's funny because I have been talking to other people in the trans community, and I am realizing there are just as many definitions of trans people as there are people in the community! Everybody is so different, and every answer is just as right and beautiful. I really liked what you said about how there are several factors, how we view ourselves, how others view us, how we present gender, both in our bodies and in clothes and her movements and expression, in roles in society, I'm curious, would you be able to make a video discussing all of the main aspects and components one has to consider in order to figure out where on the Spectrum they are in regards to gender? I honestly thought I was taking forever, but you gave me hope because I'm realizing with every aspect that I was exploring, it's so interwoven that it would be good to see each component, but that also how these components interact with each other in regards to how we may not be congruent with the gender assigned to us at birth. With my journey so far...its also interesting to see people who identify with their gender assigned at birth...many of them struggle with gender roles too...just in different ways. Thank you for helping us have a platform to share and learn from you and each other.
I have to agree that this term is a bit too broad. It makes explaining my position difficult at times. Sure I crossdress but I'm not a crossdresser, I feel like a woman regardless of what I'm stuck wearing unless it's fancy men's dress or a suit. Then it's a completely different feeling and it's not comfortable, to say the least.
Thank you so much Dr. Z! Im 19, and i have given myself time to thjnk about my medical transition. I identify as MTF trans but i dont really want to medically transition, because i think its not necessary for me. And also im not sure if i can simply take the expenses, but i do want to pass as fem everyday, ive been dysphoric about my chest, my body hair, which i will eventually change, but im not sure about taking hormones. This is helping me alot 💕
Thanks for the video. I'm not quite sure if I am transgender or trans binary which kind of makes me glad that my mom and dad are saying for me to take my time. Currently I'm thinking of looking for an Gender therapist in my area to help me with finding out where I fall in the umbrella. I am 23 and I think the main problem is me figuring out how to express myself since I have with a somewhat confusing wall on how I express myself. I wondering if it has anything to do with me being gamer but that could be just a weird thing to worry on my end.
I'm 15-year-old boy and I wanted to be born a girl but I'm scared to have surgery and I don't have a man's body I want to have a girl's body, but I'm scared to have surgery would you be able to give me advice. Are you able to have pills instead of having surgery?
Off the topic A little bit can I just mention to you that your top is lovely. I would just like to say keep up the good work there is a lot of people like me out there can do with your advice thank you.
I needed this video! I have been uncomfortable with my assigned gender for as long as I can remember. At age 17 I started to feel disconnected from womanhood and in part I know this is because I was (at the time) a woman who was solely interested in other women romantically and sexually. Growing up as a lesbian was an isolating experience. But finding lesbian communities online - especially those filled with/centred around GNC lesbians - helped me understand that disconnect. A lot of them identified as trans - I didn't understand it at the time. My understanding of a transgender identity then was very gender essentialist and so the only people who qualified as "true" transgender were those who were binary trans. Shortly after, I wrote an essay for a university module about identity and intersectionality, where I analysed the lead character of Leslie Feinberg's 'Stone Butch Blues.' Researching lesbians who identified as trans because of their gender non-conformity resonated with me deeply but I struggled to find validation elsewhere for people who were trans but who had no transitioned. Currently, I do not know if I want breast reduction surgery or top surgery, but I do know I am uncomfortable with my breasts to a degree that my cisgender friends aren't. But I do know for certain that I do not want A) a penis or even B) a "man's voice." Sure - I would love to have a deeper voice and yes, I do feel dysphoric when I am easily recognisable as AFAB but equally, I am not a man nor do I have any desire to fully become one. For me, I want the middle-ground and actually, I may not ever even end up undergoing any kind of surgery to do with my breasts. A binder might just be enough. But I do know this: I have felt so out of place my entire life and to this day it has been such an ostracising, lonely experience and my mental and physical well-being have suffered greatly for it. Currently, I use they/them pronouns but have asked that some people use he/him occasionally too because then I can test it out. I am in no rush to reach a conclusion or make any drastic changes to myself outside of how I dress and express my gender identity (or lack thereof) generally. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for this channel and for the content you're sharing with us all. You've helped me greatly and this video was so affirming. I'm not "less trans" or not "real trans" because I am not on a fast-track to transitioning. That is a harmful mindset and I am glad that you're cautioning it.
Thank you for sharing. Leslie's book is fantastic. And yes, transition is not mandatory nor is it the only way. It is truly a personal path and I am glad you know what you want and need vs listening to everyone telling you how to approach it.
This is a core issue for me. I'm attracted to the idea of physical transition, but generally opposed to the kinds of physical changes that are open to me. Consequently, I limit myself to psychological, social, and behavioral gender modifications. P.S. Gender lasagna sounds delicious to me. Please pardon my silliness.
I can’t seem to find a whole lot on your background. Where you went to school and where you are from. Your website doesn’t say anything about your background, I did find an address that says there are 42 other companies registered at the Vancouver address.
You are welcome to learn more about on my LinkedIn profile or feel free to ask anything directly related to my training or background: www.linkedin.com/in/drzphd-transgender-psychologist-speaker-educator-writer/
Right now all I know is that I am transgender and that I have to look at all the versions of non-binary, because I have no idea where I am going to land. I’ll try to be patient, but not knowing who I am gives it a sense of urgency, that I’m trying to calm down. Your videos are a wonderful source of directions for all those questions that I have in my head. Thank you very much.
Thank you Dr Z!! A little over 2 years ago got back into cross dressing from almost 40 years ago. I have found that I love to present as female and want to be treated as such when doing so. Any more it is almost all I can think of 24/7 when and how I am going to dress next. I so desperately want to 'pass' when I dress and feel like I am the real me when I do. Lately I have thought that maybe a low level of hrt might be just what I am looking for ?? I don't know. I have no idea where this puts me on the trans spectrum. . Still totally confused. Cassie
Dear Dr.Z Despite I understand all that you say, because I have experienced it, I find two issues. First, how can we expect others (particularly cis people) to understand us if we cannot understand ourselves; the second issue I see is; transgenders tend to over analyze everything (guilty as charged) physical transition is scary, specially genital surgery is overwhelming and terrifying. From my perspective (entirely personal), how can we differentiate between our real place under the transgender umbrella or just fear?. Regards Robin
Im not Dr.Z but hopefully I can help answer the first issue/question you have. My answer to that is we as trans people are not responsible for cis people's transphobia. Just because i do not fully understand my gender (which can be difficult to do with the way gender has been socially constructed) it does not give someone a free pass to be disrespectful or homophobic. And on top of that cis people do not have to fully understand us to treat up with respect they just have to have basic human decency. Keep in mind that most cis people probably wont ever fully understand our experiences because they just cant without some form of gender incongrunce/dysphoria (socialy or physically). Its not up to us to do things that please biggots. We shouldn't cater our lives to make sense at their level of ignorance. You need to do what is right for you not what makes uneducated cis people comfortable. In summary "how can we expect others (especially cis people) to understand us if we dont even understand ourselves?" The anwer is they dont have to understand us to treat us with respect.
Hi Robin. Thank you for your questions. Understanding gender identity is complex because gender in of itself is a fluid concept, but due to societal constrains and sadly, associations of gender to biological sex, the binaries were created. People have been struggling with gender since the beginning of humankind, however, without language it is hard to explain and define how we see ourselves. Thats why gender is very confusing even to trans people since even today's language fails adequately to define many. Which often leads to over analyzing. I also agree with Spicy Pickle Chip (great name lol) that its not your job to help cis people understand gender. There are plenty of education material out there to help many of us expand our understanding of gender.
Hi Dr. Z, if I am truly trans how can I truly live with myself without having the parts that conform with my true identity? I am always thinking about my dysphoria with my body and I was wondering how this can be. Thanks for all you do.😘🤗
@@DRZPHD I do accept myself and how I feel which I turn involves my getting surgery to get the parts that will feel congruent to my true self. Thank you for your advice. God bless
Dr Z -- Dr Z advises trans people to transition slowly, socially first, and see if they really want medical intervention and then surgical intervention. Take your time, real slow. You do not have to transition if you are essentially comfortable in your present body and your dysphoria is mild. However, you are still trans.
What do I do with my archetype male body when my gender shifts all the time in binary and non binaries? Sometimes I want full transition, sometimes I oppose it, I’m fearful of regretting it periodically. . . 😕
I want to transition in some ways but I feel I don’t want to transition on the other hand even though I started. Just because it’s so hard to live without worrying about being discriminated
@@DRZPHD I’ve decided that I need to work for myself and I think that it is something I need to continue with the match as I don’t want to because I have trouble excepting myself and I’m also worried about being discriminated upon I feel it’s the right decision that I am making I feel that I need to be myself and I can’t stop myself from being free
@@DRZPHD I’ve always correlated with women of the 1950s I’ve always felt like that was what I was meant to do is live a life of the 1950s as a woman I even picked out the hairstyle and clothing that I like. I also want to learn how to sew
I can say this is that umbrella terms muddy a lot of parts in medical and psychological fields and this is the main problem with the term transgender, it has become quite muddied on what it’s trying to do. I am transgender female but haven’t been able to make progress more so because the problems it bring to my life profession wise and family wise. I would love to make progress to being more my self but life has given me a hand and it not in my cards right now sadly.
Many years ago, there were far fewer words that would help someone understand this. I wonder what your thoughts are on the future evolution of the language and what that may mean for the umbrella.
In some occasions to be affirmed is really hard. You can practice pronouns online but if you can't in the day today life you can't be sure. Also doubt can come from many internlised things,I doubt so much and can't sit on one decisions from a long time
I understand the usefulness for an "umbrella" in terms of political purposes and community organization but, as someone who did have a profound need to medically transition, I don't feel a deep connection (from a trans standpoint) with those who either say they don't experience gender dysphoria or don't feel a need to transition. Yes, there is some conceptual overlap, but it's a profoundly different experience. I appreciate their situation, need for human rights and respect their authenticity for who they are, but I don't really feel we're inherently part of the same community. Which is why the terms "trans /transgender" sadly mean so little to me at this time.
I totally hear you. Many people I worked with feel exact the same way and feel frustrated that the wider umbrella term tends to dilute or minimize the pain and extend of dysphoria. This people often choose terms "transsexual' even through it has gained negative connotation, to better express their experience. Thank you for sharing.
Howdy Doc .interesting all the terms and labels that have come up through the years .i finally came across one of them I feel I can relate to.Gender Fluid seems to be what I represent in the politically correct Gay Community.hmnm yes M to f that's my passion and for some time now I have been wanting to make shuttle changes such as a face lift not construction and a tummy tuck to enhance or through accent on my curves and tighten up some I also wish to start Takeing hormones for breast development .i have no desire to insert huge silicon implant .if I were to go that far I would use saline anyway and simply a small cup most likely b I have a lot of tissue up there.Does one need to see a therapist for multiple seasons in order to receive a prescription for estrogen .i feel it would be a waste .i have been gender fluid for practicly my whole life and been out 9f the closet for close to 20 years .i am extremely passable to the point where live my passion almost everyday .How hard is it to get prescibed estrogen???? Taken it slowly Toni
I'm an androgynous trans man, and just wanted to be seen as such. T is enough for me. I was uncomfortable in the "lady looks like a dude" look. Now I am feeling better, more and more it's "that dude looks like a lady" comments, which is right for me. Do what is needed to improve your well-being 🤗
Thanks for sharing and what you share is exactly what I am talking about. Find what works for YOU.
I found this very interesting (I'm a masculine binary transman), thanks for sharing!
My brother in law is very similar, he likes being feminine more so than masculine (hes also binary trans), and I just love his look so much, handsome and pretty at the same time!
Same!
@LouLa-Rae Barnard, would you misgender Prince or Marilyn Manson though...? Androgynous isn't the James Charles kind of féminine 😝
@@Johnny_T779 Welll; it sure isn't the James Bond or James T. Kirk identity either, but that would be very interesting - you know.
I know I am transgender but have realistic medical expectations of my ability to medically transition so am fully focused on spiritually and emotionally becoming the feminine human I am. I have found I am seen as feminine when I am fully owning my true self.
I really liked this video and the message it holds. 🌺
Thank you and I am glad you have realistic perspective, thats important.
i love this energy so much. i feel you a lot. lots of love
I am at a hard time of my life. I alredy know i was transgender but in reality i have found that late in terms of social transition and medical. I have just changed my name and gender on documents arrounf 2017 and made social transition since that day. But thst was not enought so i went to my doctor and she helped me to follow a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist made me a GD and too follow a endocrino but unfortunatlylast year i had a stroke. I was not taking hormones yet and with my historic i am afraid not to transition in medical terms. I know i am Shaylla. This is very hard. I will meet my endocrino in some 6 months 3/4 weeks before i will make some blood exams. She wants me to dtart with finasterida in 6 months from now. But the rest i do not know.
I agree that the term "transgender" is really confusing. Many people who are nonbinary insist that they're "not trans", and some of them probably aren't, because there is this built-in assumption that trans people need to transition into the opposite gender on the binary.
For myself, I do feel a strong pull towards transitioning. I'm not sure sure if I need to transition completely or only partially though. My therapist has referred me to a medical specialist to explore beginning anti androgens at month's end, so I guess I'll be finding out in a bit.
Exactly! The vocabulary is a problem and causing more confusion. In general, one has to think of themselves and focus inwards. Glad to hear you are doing this.
@LouLa-Rae Barnard There was an article I read recently, I wish I could recall what and where, about the history of trans activism. Much of what Kate said corresponds to the article. If I can find the article I'll post the link so everyone can read it and discuss it if they'd like.
You’ve been posting videos that have been speaking to me directly lately. Thank you for these.
You are so welcome.
Thank you doctor for your time and energy , you’re helping alot of people who suffer around the globe
Thank you!
Hi, I'm a transgirl who has battled with the binary their whole life.
Thanks for this video.
Thank you for sharing.
I still do... ha ha
I came out as trans in 1983. It took me nearly 40 years in a trans feminine state before I decided to hormonally transition a couple of years ago. This was a GREAT video! There is no reason to rush. That being said, there is no reason to wait if that is what is in your heart either. Gender expression changes, during the time I was a transfeminine, I went through more masculine and more feminine phases. It’s just an amazing wave to ride. As you said there’s plenty of room in Family Trans!
Exactly! Well said.
I identified as trans early in my life even though I didn't know the term until my 20s I never feel pressure to transition until I had my first therapist and she had me on the fast track and the pressure made me stop because I knew I wasn't ready. 30 years later I reached a point where I wanted to transition while the new therapist did push a little until I showed her one of videos that talked about taking small steps and she agreed while I've only been on hormones a year it is very important to me that my body doesn't look like a man in a dress and as I told her once I feel I reached that point I can take the next step the hormones are doing a good job so I'll get there soon. I also been exploring with dress style, make up etc.. for me it's a slow journey and it's great completing those little goals. Once you filter out those that just seek attention and want affirmation there is some really useful information. I look forward to every Thursday as you release new content. I can't thank you enough as I imagine you keep very busy with you practice and sharing content. I've shared your channel with a few of my students as they seek their paths in life!
Hi and thank you for commenting. It is very important, especially if someone who identifies as a trans woman, to easy into clothing expression. I often tell my clients, first lets push envelope to a bit androgeneous look and than when you feel confident, a bit more. Putting on female clothing while you are not ready can spiral you into transphobia and can deeply regress your transition. I'll do a video on this for sure.
your videos are always such a boon to my spirit. thanks so much for doing what you do. it has a positive effect that is nearly beyond words.
this video in particular hit close to home.
Thank you! I am glad they help clarify things for you.
I have seen this also. Many dont choose to transition, it may be because of identity at their jobs, or similar needs to stay as is, OR still many that simply choose on their own to not. its good in all things to be able to have choices. if ya can, doesnt always in every case mean go for it! Some go thru long processes or short in thinking to Do this or NOT to go forward. Totally good point and video! BUT If ya cant decide on your own, then get a more professional advise from one like Dr Z. Cause ive talked to many GOOD doctors, but many of them dont know anything about Trans questions, or those asking such questions get a blank from the doctor.
Totally agree. Each has to figure out their own choices.
This is a great video! It also confirms that I am right in my decision, and I thank you for that! I have always identified as a TG but have never had any interest in hormones or surgery. If I could I would live most of the time presenting as a female (makes me feel free and at peace with myself) but this would not go well with my wife - she is a wonderful woman whom I adore, and knows everything about me. Thus I live my life as a run of the mill cross-dresser who is fairly passable, and who puts a lot of effort in dressing like any cisgender woman my age would... all I want is to be seen as anybody's neighbour, sister, mother, wife, daughter, etc.
Thanks for sharing and yes, transition is not mandatory.
Your videos randomly popped up onto my feed and honestly I'm glad as I feel I may be trans (I am afab) but I don't really want surgery except possibly top surgery but I know I'm not comfortable with being female and I've been dressing as a guy for a few years now. These videos are helping me figure out what's going on haha and I'm glad you say transitioning isn't a requirement, thank you
So glad you found them helpful and yes, it not a requirement at all.
Thanks for this video! I am a proud transwomen and I feel like people make a false assumption that they have to take medicine and undergo surgeries to feel validation from others. This video preaches finding self validation. I am 100% a transwomen even without HRT or surgery. For others that undergo medicine and it helps them feel better, I am happy for them. There appears to be alot of discrimination in our community from other post op transwomen being upset that someone chooses and remains a women without modern medicine.
To preach that transition MUST happen one way is bullshit!!!!! There is only YOUR transition with or without medicine and surgery.
You're got a lot of useful information. It's a shame you've not got more subscribers. Perhaps you should look into purchasing some ad space. If you have the means of course. I'd love to see more people being reached. You never know how much it might help someone.
Thank you!
you're SO helpful! i try to explain this to my mom too. she doesn't think I'm trans because i haven't had surgeries, taken hormones, ect. most of my dysphoria is from "gender expression" or "social dysphoria." my name, pronouns, make me uncomfortable. i do have some chest dysphoria but i bind and it's pretty mild 95% of the time.
Thank you and hope she is able to understand.
Thank you for your video, i am dealing exactly with this problem
Glad it was helpful.
Really great video, I'm currently thinking things through again as I've started HRT for a few months now and am struggling to see how far to push it in other aspects, videos like it helps a lot and are definitely DEFINITELY important, thank you! 💚💚
Great information. Thanks so much for sharing!😊
Glad you found it helpful.
Hi Dr. Z! Another great video, and so necessary. There are two separate issues being addressed here that intertwine. As to the title of this video, your message is right on point. I spend countless hours explaining to cis people and and trans people alike that no one chooses to be trans - if it turns out that someone that a person figures out they are trans, it's just the point of realization and that they have always been trans. It's an inate facet of one's core being. Transitioning, on the other hand, is a choice, though many times, the only viable choice (as in choosing between life and death).
I see choosing to transition as a risk/benefit analysis or a gain/loss one. I know transbinary people who chose not to transition because, while there was great benefit to transitioning, they concluded that the loss would have been greater. I myself am trans and very binary, but would have only taken enough baby steps so as to make my dysphoria manageable if it meant I could keep my family. The choice was made for me when my wife of 35 years got a restraining order against me because of being trans and suffering PTSD and then filed for divorce. In a sense, her reaction is my fault because I always knew I was trans and was never in denial ... and never told her - everything in our marriage became a lie to her and boom! I started transitioning immediately as the cost side of the equation disappeared. I lost everything but gained my unfettered self. After six months I already had a c+/d cup ... WooHoo! Full steam ahead!
The second point is one that addresses an insidious notion - that everyone under the umbrella is the same - transition is either necessary for everyone or no one. I explained this is a comment to a video, explaining that, since my needs are different to those that are nonbinary or genderfluid, and that they are starting to get minimized under the umbrella, I was going to start referring to myself as a lesbian transsexual woman because my medical needs are important and different from someone who doesn't need to transition. - I was called a transmedicalist terf! I was furious and answered the accusations. I spent way too much time explaining that a great many trans people do not need to medically transition nor are they required to suffer dysphoria. I explained that I am trans, very binary and have no idea what it's like to be nonbinary, genderfluid, not suffer from dysphoria or experience gender euphoria. I do, however, know what it's like to be trans, and that's enough. Who the hell am I to question anyone's core sense of self? Of course we are all under the trans umbrella. I remained cordial but almost went too far. I mean, who the hell is a cis person to condemn me as a terf or transmedicalist - we are being stereotyped from all sides. We are human beings with human needs, experiences, and human emotions. We deserve to be treated with human dignity and with equaity. We are not carbon copies of each other on any level and deserve to be treated as individuals. The bigoted views of the trans umbrella , coming at us from all sides, must be changed and the nature of the umbrella be made clear - It's becoming a serious problem.
Well that turned into an unedited rant - my apologies Dr. Z ...
Thanks for sharing and you are always welcome to comment as much as you want! I totally hear you about the double bind you describe below regarding trans umbrella terms and views. This are challenges that prevent all of us to have an open conversation.
@Sacha Barbie Hi Sacha! Ummm, you are wrong - large breasts run in the family and I am extremely sensitive to estradiol. Week one of HRT, my b.o. changed completely (gone) and breast buds could be felt at two weeks. At four week, body hair was coming back in after shaving slower, finer, and lighter - it was actually a little unsettling. Everything has come along much faster than I expected. I went from a training bra to c+/d cup way faster than I expected. If you need me to post my doses and latest bloodwork, I will. So, yeah, I may not be the norm, but your are in error ...
@Sacha BarbieOh Sweetie, there's a reason there is no profile picture of me - I loathe those things that trigger my dysphoria. I've been patient with you , now and in the past. You clearly don't know what the hell you are talking about and I don't have to show you a damn thing. Prove me wrong., ..... (here is where I stop to avoid the use of derogatory epithets ..)
Thank you very much for your videos, they are very helpful and informations are very accurate. I agree with what you say. I realized I am transgender, I realized that this isn't my body and I have to change something. However, I still have a lot of fears about medical transition, and this makes me realize that maybe I'm not ready for that step yet. Sometimes we instinctively feel inside that transition is our way, but too many uncertainties indicate that perhaps we are not ready at THAT MOMENT. It's better take some time to explore and strengthen our true identity and 'build' who we are. Sometimes it's frustrating, because I want feel ready NOW and start living my real life in my real gender
Thank you for sharing, and I agree, while it is frustrating, it is also gives you time to integrate who you are.
OMG I'm so glad you're out here making these videos, because I'm on reddit explaining this to people all day every day
OHh no, not reddit lol, thats a scary rabbit hole to me.
May I confess something? I've been following trans and detrans issues for 1.5 years and I saw lots of what appeared to be incoherent messages on both sides...but you seem very coherent and responsible and provide cautious and useful advice! Thank you! I'm probably non-binary or agender or something, not quite sure what the word would be (I'm a 90's teenager and we didn't have the words back then). I'm still learning about gender.
Anyway, thank you!
Thank you for noticing that. I aim to be neither cheerleading nor gatekeeping but offer info as partially as I can to help ppl figure things out.
This outfit is *chef's kiss* !!
I'm 35 and have struggled with my gender expression for the last 35 years. I felt that times I wanted to be more feminine but then I always thought myself because I was reminded of how I was told it was wrong as a teenager since I am not biologically a woman. About 5 years ago I learned that I made a gendered is for you and I had this desire to want to be a woman. When I learned that I felt like I had to transition and that kind of made me scared. So I decided not to do that and I suppressed my feelings. Three months ago I started exploring my gender again since I had feelings and wanted to be a woman. Through this time and doing more research I realizing that I don't have to transition or I don't have to feel like I have to go through full transition that I can explore the various aspects of my gender and see what helps with my feelings of gender dysphoria. I am still scared at times whether or not making the right choice but I'm not feeling like running away because I know that as long as I start with things that can be reversed then I can explore and see how far I want to transition.
Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best.
As always, you have the best information on the topic Dr. Z.
I've been wondering for a while about who actually feel like they have to transition but don't desire to. It's kinda hard for me to figure. What is this "authority" that make them believe that they have to? Is it just social pressure? As whole, society is clearly not pressuring us to transition. It's quite the opposite actually. Up until now I assumed that if you felt that you have to transition that it was because you felt uncomfortable with your assigned gender, felt a desire to transition or a combination of both.
Thank you for sharing. There are numerous pressures in genera I feel, just to figure your sense of being.
Dr. Z, this video is so important for me to hear right now. Thank you. I wish I watched this earlier.
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you Dr Z! Another hard hitting but very pertinent topic! For me I got to the stage in my life that I had no choice but to transition. As soon as I went on to HRT my depression started lifting and my outlook started changing. I chose not to transition in 2015 and I got seriously mentally ill. I know that it is very different for everyone but this has been my personal experience.
Thanks for sharing and I am sorry to hear. Hope things get better for you.
@@DRZPHD Thinngs are so much better now thanks! I went back on Hormones 3 months ago and I'm feeling so much better. Love your channel Dr Z!
Thank you, Excellent video, I feel the narrative of your trans its time to transition is being pushed to hard, take a breath and find whats right for the individual..
Agree a 100%
I would love to share my story and also I hope you, Dr.Z, can help me with my identity. Thank you!
I am Asian. I was born with biological male body. Since I was a kid, my friends (mostly boys) called me " a faggot" because I looked like a girl with feminine acts. When I was in high school, my teacher told me "You ran like a girl" (even though my hair was short as other boys). The more I grew up, the more feminine my apperance became even though I didn't even know about those terms of HRT or trans or this "umbrella terms".
That was my childhood. Recently, I grow my hair and when I wear T shirt with short pant, some people thought I was a girl. But about my feeling, I am happy to be called "a girl" and I enjoy feminine things and long hair, wearing high heels and make up, doing nail, wearing girls clothes. I just wish I can a have a chance to get married with a man who love me as I am now.
Of course, I don't use HRT, not yet...That's why I need your help Dr.Z? What am I according to my story above?
I want to respect the body that my parents gave me with a natural looks but I also love my feminine side and want to be treated as a lady (but stuck inside this male body, how can I?)
I hope you can read my comments and help me with your advice, Doctor! Thank you so much! I love your taste of fashion!
Ok I understand now. I am trans feminine so I AM transitioning and getting the parts that are congruent with the way I identify. My previous question was for those who identify as trans but don’t want the parts congruent with the way they identify which I didn’t understand until now so thank you for clearing that up for me. Love what you do. Take care be safe and god bless. 😘
Martina
Glad it got clarified. Wishing you all the best.
I been loving how hrt makes me look and feel. My doubts are that I could regret surgeries and find that my doubts are real only later. I have been enjoying my transition but I’m scared to commit all the way incase I’m wrong.
Thanks for sharing and your fears are common, many fear regretting surgery so it is a normal experience to have this fear. It does help to explore the underlying cause of that fear with a local therapist as it can help greatly.
Thank you for being on here!! You are such a great resource. I love the topics you've been speaking about recently. I am non binary and I want top surgery but I don't think I need HRT. Transition looks different for everyone.
Thanks for sharing and you are spot on. Transition is very individualized. You won't believe the variations I have seen over the years. All valid and legit.
This was soo helpful with where my head and heartspace is at right now. 🙏🏼
Glad to hear.
Thank you so much I’ve watched multiple of your videos throughout like the past year and it’s just really reaffirming. From a young teenager I knew I wasn’t necessarily a part of the social gender binary but didn’t know how to describe it so for years I just labeled as my born sex bc I didn’t care either way. As I grew older, became more self aware, and after discovering into the exact term for my Sexual orientation I then figured it was time to discover the terminology for my gender identity finally since they’re pretty connected. I thought I knew the answer to my recent question being “Is Genderqueer a part of the Trans umbrella” and evidently I think you helped me realize I was right all along. That is is indeed under the trans umbrella. Thank you. Bless you. Have a beautiful day!
Thank you for sharing and glad the content is helpful.
I'm thinking that for a lot of people, wanting to leave the binary and stepping into the ring with your expression, is almost an automatic qualifier for being transgender.
Yes. And in many ways it is. However, it does mean one needs to transition.
Another very helpful video. These were definitely things I needed to hear. Thank you for making this Dr Z.
Glad you found it helpful.
This is the exact issue I'm dealing with right now. I'm currently identifying as genderfluid and trans and I recently talked to a dr about getting hormones. She asked me how I want to end up and I described it as a fairy prince, looking more androgynous and feminine, but still no breasts. She recommended I get FFS and do hair removal and makeup, but not take hormones. I felt so distraught because I was looking forward to hormones so much. I wanted the feminine skin and redistribution of fat. I also suggested a drug to her and she mentioned that the drug doesn't in fact feminize you except for your chest, like I thought it did.
So, I'm at a place in my life where I'm not sure what to do next. I want to continue to transition, but I also have no clue how to move forward as a trans genderfluid person who wants their body to be slightly different.
Honestly, I just wish I could shapeshift and I could spend time as a woman when I wanted, and be a better looking man than I am now when I want. But that's fantasy.
Shape shifting is the dream. Sometimes I want to be masc, sometimes femme, sometimes mixed, sometimes genderless, sometimes inhuman. The best I think I can do as a bio male is combine hair removal, FFS, hairstyles, clothing and make-up to create whichever look I prefer at the time and give myself flexibility. Maybe a little breast augmentation, but pads and pocket bras etc might do the trick. But it will never really satisfy, and I'll always feel wrong naked.
And tbh, that's only really an option for rich folk anyway. I can barely afford clothes let alone FFS!
@@someonesomeone25 Aint that the truth. Have you been recommended to have FFS too?
No, not recommended, just thinking about how I want to look. But it's all moot unless I win the lottery.
Thank you fairy prince for sharing, sorry not sure if you weaned me to use listed name or not given your gender fluid identity. IT can be challenging to find your transition path as well and sometimes it is a trial and error too.
Hi Dr. Z, thanks for another informative video.
I am trans binary in my 40s and I've just started my social transition, coming out to family, friends and colleagues. That experience in itself has made me feel more confident and comfortable. However, while I want start HRT, I don't feel, at least at the moment, that I want to, or even need to fully transition.
Thanks for sharing and go with the flow. Let each step be a guiding affirmation in the right direction. If you dont feel affirmed, it could be time to question things or to see if maybe now is not the right time.
Thank you doctor, you've really helped me out.
You are most welcome
I really appreciate this video. It's funny because I have been talking to other people in the trans community, and I am realizing there are just as many definitions of trans people as there are people in the community! Everybody is so different, and every answer is just as right and beautiful. I really liked what you said about how there are several factors, how we view ourselves, how others view us, how we present gender, both in our bodies and in clothes and her movements and expression, in roles in society, I'm curious, would you be able to make a video discussing all of the main aspects and components one has to consider in order to figure out where on the Spectrum they are in regards to gender? I honestly thought I was taking forever, but you gave me hope because I'm realizing with every aspect that I was exploring, it's so interwoven that it would be good to see each component, but that also how these components interact with each other in regards to how we may not be congruent with the gender assigned to us at birth.
With my journey so far...its also interesting to see people who identify with their gender assigned at birth...many of them struggle with gender roles too...just in different ways.
Thank you for helping us have a platform to share and learn from you and each other.
Yes there are so many other gender identities that we have not yet coined "label" for. I will add this to the topic list.
I have to agree that this term is a bit too broad. It makes explaining my position difficult at times. Sure I crossdress but I'm not a crossdresser, I feel like a woman regardless of what I'm stuck wearing unless it's fancy men's dress or a suit. Then it's a completely different feeling and it's not comfortable, to say the least.
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you so much Dr. Z! Im 19, and i have given myself time to thjnk about my medical transition. I identify as MTF trans but i dont really want to medically transition, because i think its not necessary for me. And also im not sure if i can simply take the expenses, but i do want to pass as fem everyday, ive been dysphoric about my chest, my body hair, which i will eventually change, but im not sure about taking hormones. This is helping me alot 💕
Totally hear you. Medical and surgical transition is not MUST! It can be if you need it, but it's not a necessity.
Thanks for the video. I'm not quite sure if I am transgender or trans binary which kind of makes me glad that my mom and dad are saying for me to take my time. Currently I'm thinking of looking for an Gender therapist in my area to help me with finding out where I fall in the umbrella. I am 23 and I think the main problem is me figuring out how to express myself since I have with a somewhat confusing wall on how I express myself. I wondering if it has anything to do with me being gamer but that could be just a weird thing to worry on my end.
I think if you yourself open to time, socially expressing yourself and seeing how things feel as you go along is a prudent idea.
I'm 15-year-old boy and I wanted to be born a girl but I'm scared to have surgery and I don't have a man's body I want to have a girl's body, but I'm scared to have surgery would you be able to give me advice. Are you able to have pills instead of having surgery?
Hi. Please note my channel is marked for adults and all feedback is for adults.
Off the topic A little bit can I just mention to you that your top is lovely. I would just like to say keep up the good work there is a lot of people like me out there can do with your advice thank you.
Thank you! Will do!
@@DRZPHD 👍
@@DRZPHD at 52 am I too old for surgery
I needed this video! I have been uncomfortable with my assigned gender for as long as I can remember. At age 17 I started to feel disconnected from womanhood and in part I know this is because I was (at the time) a woman who was solely interested in other women romantically and sexually. Growing up as a lesbian was an isolating experience. But finding lesbian communities online - especially those filled with/centred around GNC lesbians - helped me understand that disconnect. A lot of them identified as trans - I didn't understand it at the time. My understanding of a transgender identity then was very gender essentialist and so the only people who qualified as "true" transgender were those who were binary trans. Shortly after, I wrote an essay for a university module about identity and intersectionality, where I analysed the lead character of Leslie Feinberg's 'Stone Butch Blues.' Researching lesbians who identified as trans because of their gender non-conformity resonated with me deeply but I struggled to find validation elsewhere for people who were trans but who had no transitioned. Currently, I do not know if I want breast reduction surgery or top surgery, but I do know I am uncomfortable with my breasts to a degree that my cisgender friends aren't. But I do know for certain that I do not want A) a penis or even B) a "man's voice." Sure - I would love to have a deeper voice and yes, I do feel dysphoric when I am easily recognisable as AFAB but equally, I am not a man nor do I have any desire to fully become one. For me, I want the middle-ground and actually, I may not ever even end up undergoing any kind of surgery to do with my breasts. A binder might just be enough. But I do know this: I have felt so out of place my entire life and to this day it has been such an ostracising, lonely experience and my mental and physical well-being have suffered greatly for it. Currently, I use they/them pronouns but have asked that some people use he/him occasionally too because then I can test it out. I am in no rush to reach a conclusion or make any drastic changes to myself outside of how I dress and express my gender identity (or lack thereof) generally. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for this channel and for the content you're sharing with us all. You've helped me greatly and this video was so affirming. I'm not "less trans" or not "real trans" because I am not on a fast-track to transitioning. That is a harmful mindset and I am glad that you're cautioning it.
Thank you for sharing. Leslie's book is fantastic. And yes, transition is not mandatory nor is it the only way. It is truly a personal path and I am glad you know what you want and need vs listening to everyone telling you how to approach it.
I realy can't thank You enough for making this video!
You're so welcome!
This is a fantastic notion and should be share more. 8:08 is also a powerful message
Thank you.
This is a core issue for me. I'm attracted to the idea of physical transition, but generally opposed to the kinds of physical changes that are open to me. Consequently, I limit myself to psychological, social, and behavioral gender modifications. P.S. Gender lasagna sounds delicious to me. Please pardon my silliness.
Thanks for sharing and lol.
I can’t seem to find a whole lot on your background. Where you went to school and where you are from. Your website doesn’t say anything about your background, I did find an address that says there are 42 other companies registered at the Vancouver address.
You are welcome to learn more about on my LinkedIn profile or feel free to ask anything directly related to my training or background: www.linkedin.com/in/drzphd-transgender-psychologist-speaker-educator-writer/
Right now all I know is that I am transgender and that I have to look at all the versions of non-binary, because I have no idea where I am going to land. I’ll try to be patient, but not knowing who I am gives it a sense of urgency, that I’m trying to calm down. Your videos are a wonderful source of directions for all those questions that I have in my head. Thank you very much.
Thanks for sharing.
Dr Z your videos are helpful great I feel I'm transgender non Binary if that makes sense.
Thank you Dr Z!! A little over 2 years ago got back into cross dressing from almost 40 years ago. I have found that I love to present as female and want to be treated as such when doing so. Any more it is almost all I can think of 24/7 when and how I am going to dress next. I so desperately want to 'pass' when I dress and feel like I am the real me when I do.
Lately I have thought that maybe a low level of hrt might be just what I am looking for ?? I don't know. I have no idea where this puts me on the trans spectrum.
. Still totally confused. Cassie
Thanks for sharing and I hope you'll find clarity you seek.
i am glad i found your channel Does gender dysphoria become stronger as you age
Hi. I made a video on this topic recently. Check it out.
@@DRZPHD hi can you tell me which one ir is please,
Dear Dr.Z
Despite I understand all that you say, because I have experienced it, I find two issues. First, how can we expect others (particularly cis people) to understand us if we cannot understand ourselves; the second issue I see is; transgenders tend to over analyze everything (guilty as charged) physical transition is scary, specially genital surgery is overwhelming and terrifying. From my perspective (entirely personal), how can we differentiate between our real place under the transgender umbrella or just fear?.
Regards
Robin
Im not Dr.Z but hopefully I can help answer the first issue/question you have. My answer to that is we as trans people are not responsible for cis people's transphobia. Just because i do not fully understand my gender (which can be difficult to do with the way gender has been socially constructed) it does not give someone a free pass to be disrespectful or homophobic. And on top of that cis people do not have to fully understand us to treat up with respect they just have to have basic human decency. Keep in mind that most cis people probably wont ever fully understand our experiences because they just cant without some form of gender incongrunce/dysphoria (socialy or physically). Its not up to us to do things that please biggots. We shouldn't cater our lives to make sense at their level of ignorance. You need to do what is right for you not what makes uneducated cis people comfortable. In summary "how can we expect others (especially cis people) to understand us if we dont even understand ourselves?" The anwer is they dont have to understand us to treat us with respect.
Hi Robin. Thank you for your questions. Understanding gender identity is complex because gender in of itself is a fluid concept, but due to societal constrains and sadly, associations of gender to biological sex, the binaries were created. People have been struggling with gender since the beginning of humankind, however, without language it is hard to explain and define how we see ourselves. Thats why gender is very confusing even to trans people since even today's language fails adequately to define many. Which often leads to over analyzing. I also agree with Spicy Pickle Chip (great name lol) that its not your job to help cis people understand gender. There are plenty of education material out there to help many of us expand our understanding of gender.
Hi Dr. Z, if I am truly trans how can I truly live with myself without having the parts that conform with my true identity? I am always thinking about my dysphoria with my body and I was wondering how this can be. Thanks for all you do.😘🤗
Often, starting with acceptance is a key. Than taking steps that can help you achieve congruency you seek.
@@DRZPHD I do accept myself and how I feel which I turn involves my getting surgery to get the parts that will feel congruent to my true self. Thank you for your advice. God bless
Hey I was looking at your website and it says you practice online on LA and Florida I believe would you take a client in canada?
Hi and thank you for inquiring. Sadly due to licensure rules I can only practice in states I am licensed at. Sorry.
Dr Z -- Dr Z advises trans people to transition slowly, socially first, and see if they really want medical intervention and then surgical intervention. Take your time, real slow. You do not have to transition if you are essentially comfortable in your present body and your dysphoria is mild. However, you are still trans.
Yes being trans does mean that transition is necessary. It’s a serious decision.
What do I do with my archetype male body when my gender shifts all the time in binary and non binaries? Sometimes I want full transition, sometimes I oppose it, I’m fearful of regretting it periodically. . . 😕
Take your time and explore. Sounds like your gender identity is more fluid.
I want to transition in some ways but I feel I don’t want to transition on the other hand even though I started. Just because it’s so hard to live without worrying about being discriminated
Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best.
@@DRZPHD I’ve decided that I need to work for myself and I think that it is something I need to continue with the match as I don’t want to because I have trouble excepting myself and I’m also worried about being discriminated upon I feel it’s the right decision that I am making I feel that I need to be myself and I can’t stop myself from being free
@@DRZPHD I’ve always correlated with women of the 1950s I’ve always felt like that was what I was meant to do is live a life of the 1950s as a woman I even picked out the hairstyle and clothing that I like. I also want to learn how to sew
I can say this is that umbrella terms muddy a lot of parts in medical and psychological fields and this is the main problem with the term transgender, it has become quite muddied on what it’s trying to do. I am transgender female but haven’t been able to make progress more so because the problems it bring to my life profession wise and family wise.
I would love to make progress to being more my self but life has given me a hand and it not in my cards right now sadly.
Well I am unsure if I d be called trans female if I didn’t transition yet... but yeah
Thank you for sharing, and yes, the term is too broad and clusters too many under it.
Is it normal to have doubts come and go during ur transition ?
Very very normal.
I’ve always wanted to know what the reason is for the confusion and rejection of your biological gender?
Hard to pin point but most research indicates gender resides in the brain and is a neurological or neurochecmical concept.
Thank you for this.
You're so welcome!
Many years ago, there were far fewer words that would help someone understand this. I wonder what your thoughts are on the future evolution of the language and what that may mean for the umbrella.
Great ideas! I often think about the use of language and how it shapes our world.
Your video have help me lot n am in the being stages of see transgender doctor n I know how I am
Thank you and I wish you all the best.
In some occasions to be affirmed is really hard. You can practice pronouns online but if you can't in the day today life you can't be sure. Also doubt can come from many internlised things,I doubt so much and can't sit on one decisions from a long time
I agree it can be tough but there are still steps one can take to feel affirmed.
I understand the usefulness for an "umbrella" in terms of political purposes and community organization but, as someone who did have a profound need to medically transition, I don't feel a deep connection (from a trans standpoint) with those who either say they don't experience gender dysphoria or don't feel a need to transition. Yes, there is some conceptual overlap, but it's a profoundly different experience. I appreciate their situation, need for human rights and respect their authenticity for who they are, but I don't really feel we're inherently part of the same community. Which is why the terms "trans /transgender" sadly mean so little to me at this time.
I totally hear you. Many people I worked with feel exact the same way and feel frustrated that the wider umbrella term tends to dilute or minimize the pain and extend of dysphoria. This people often choose terms "transsexual' even through it has gained negative connotation, to better express their experience. Thank you for sharing.
I envy those who are legitimately transgendered but do not hear their dysphoria screaming at them to transition.
Howdy Doc .interesting all the terms and labels that have come up through the years .i finally came across one of them I feel I can relate to.Gender Fluid seems to be what I represent in the politically correct Gay Community.hmnm yes M to f that's my passion and for some time now I have been wanting to make shuttle changes such as a face lift not construction and a tummy tuck to enhance or through accent on my curves and tighten up some I also wish to start Takeing hormones for breast development .i have no desire to insert huge silicon implant .if I were to go that far I would use saline anyway and simply a small cup most likely b I have a lot of tissue up there.Does one need to see a therapist for multiple seasons in order to receive a prescription for estrogen .i feel it would be a waste .i have been gender fluid for practicly my whole life and been out 9f the closet for close to 20 years .i am extremely passable to the point where live my passion almost everyday .How hard is it to get prescibed estrogen???? Taken it slowly Toni
Thank you for sharing. As for prescription, please seek medical advice as I am not a medical doctor.
is there an option for a trans to get hormones but doesnt want a surgical option on their Genital organs ?
Yes! Surgery is not mandatory.
❤
“Gender is like a lasagna!” ❤️👍🏽
Hahah yes. Bet you'll never look at lasagna the same ;)
Can you plese give your email or something. i want to tell you something in private 🙏