My mom, 85 now, raised 7 boys (including me) & a girl. I'm doing everything I can by myself. It's now come to this subject & I can't thank you enough for this helpful video. I'm 53 & scared all the time I'm not doing enough or not doing something I could. I keep telling myself the important thing is don't stop trying, & praying. To all the caregivers out there, Be Blessed! I'm stopping back in to thank all that sent kind & encouraging words. My mom passed on January 29,2022. Thank you to the creators of this helpful video. It was a big help for me to take the very best care of her until the end. I was often teased & called a mama's boy but it never bothered me. She was a fantastic person that deserved a devoted son. Everyone stay safe & God Bless.
@kicknsystm. My dads 62 with dementia while im only 21. Ive worked full time in personal care for over a year. Dont let it take control over your life. My dad did that and now im in his shoes taking care of him. Theres a point where u need to live your life and leave it to the nursing facilities. Ive been taking care of my dad for over 5 years and its to much sometimes. Everyone needs a break. Dont push go to in over your head
As it is written " I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me " . (Philippians 2:4 ) This Scripture has gotten me through time and time again . . I hope it blesses you as well . . Also , As it is written " And we know all things work together for good for them that love God , to them who are the called according to his purpose " (Romans 8:28) . .
Thank you! Very much appreciated. I am now crummy for my mother. When I started, I was frightened. Did not want to make a mistake. This was one of my first videos, and it really helped me.
I have so much respect for him. Breaks my heart when people don’t treat them like normal people, it takes a lot to trust someone to help you in such a vulnerable situation.
I’ve been taking care of my almost 85 year old Dad since Christmas when he fell and broke his hip. Before that my sister and I were coming over daily to make sure he got his meds, mail, daily paper and meals. She’d come before work in the morning and I had the evening “shift”. Since she cooked the meals I did the laundry and cleaned and help bathe Dad. She also takes care of his bills and insurance. I decided about a month ago to give up my apartment and move in full time with Dad. I don’t want him to be alone and it was easier for me who’s single without kids to do it as my sister is married and just bought a home. It makes us all feel better. I’m so blessed to have this time with my Dad and feel that we are closer than ever!
@@--jenC-- Actually Dad drove truck and was gone throughout the week. We were lucky if we had him home for 2 full days. He worked VERY hard to provide for our family. We were also very blessed that Mom stayed home with us. Dad may not have always been there physically for us, but he was there when it counted and we could always rely on him to take care of us! Thanks for your reply!😁it is much appreciated!!
I've just started my job as a caregiver, and I would like to express my thanks for these videos. I've been scared to shower my clients for fear of hurting them or making them feel dehumanized in any ways. These ways, and even just seeing your chemistry with the elderly man, help me understand the tone and methods necessary to help them feel as comfortable as possible.
hey! i just got hired as a caretaker (with no prior experience), how has your experience been so far? what would you say has been most difficult if you dont mind sharing
@@finnathought8315 how has ur experience been so far? was thinking of this role but also afraid i wont do a good job or will hurt the client accidently.
Handling patients that are aggressive is quite a challenge but then these people need us. I know it's hard but there's nothing more gratifying than a patient's simple thank you. For me, it would suffice, but not that I expect it.
Such a sad time for me... Life is full circle. They (parents) give us life and we watch/guide them as theirs end. We stay strong with a pretty smile for our loved ones. For anybody experiencing this, WE CAN DO THIS! :)
Just curious if you have any advice on where to turn for resources? I just took my mother in law into my home this week because her dementia has declined and she needs to be with someone 24/7.
@@philmole1209 Life has value and is precious in the sight of God. We serve God by helping others. There's no such thing as a human parasite. Just someone who is fallen. We're here to love and respect each other. Hopefully we'll stay away from the junk food and medications like statins that destroy neurons. It's all preventable. When we took care of my mother, we reversed her dementia by immediately stopping cholesterol lowering medicine and replaced with Cyruta supplement. Then all organic diet and high fat high protein nutrient dense ketogenic diet with no sugar. Mom was working crosswords again after 4 months. Dr. Eric Berg's UA-cam and Darren Schmitt of ann arbor UA-cam.
It's not about them. It's about us. Can we step up and be the best, kindest person in life. It takes sacrifice and love. It's what our society did for thousands of years....
@@philmole1209 People can still offer good company, companionship, friendship and more when they cannot wash themselves. Why do you resort to quitting life when it gets difficult? I have hope for those who are still alive, hope is alive if life is present. I hope you change your mind on this, it's not exactly pleasant to be washed for or to give washes but it's meaningful and you will walk away with a selfless act.
@@Lyonessi "it's not exactly pleasant to be washed for or to give washes " This in a nutshell is what I have a problem with -- the "unpleasantness" of the person who needs help getting that help being equated with the real unpleasantness for the person who has to provide the care. They're not equal. It's a one-sided, parasitic relationship, and the person receiving care has no right to feel anything but gratitude or say anything but "thank you." And I don't need any goddamn lectures from you. A parasite is not a companion, and if I want a better companion, I have fully functioning humans around me, and my cat. I'm 52 years old and for half of my adult life I've been yoked to people who made no other plans in their life except to be taken care of by other people, and their care has interfered with my life choices and undermined my ability to care for my own family. The last helpless, narcissistic creature who imposed himself on me, my father in law, thankfully died just recently after decades of thanklessly living off of my efforts. So my own perspective is a little different from that of people privileged to see all this as abstract and theoretical, or who might be caring for someone who they at least had a good prior relationship with. That has not been my situation. If and when you're ever in my situation, I might give a shit what you have to say.
We’ve been struggling with my dad’s dementia and consequent bad hygiene. These bathing tips are so helpful! He won’t bathe or let us bathe him but I think the waterless products, wipes or washcloth method he may be open to. I’m going to try so I have my clean dad back (but most importantly prevent him from infections). Thank you! I’ll update once I’ve tried one of these methods. 😊
RESPECT PEOPLE. your parents or whomever you are giving care to does not want to need your help. They want to do it themselves, like they did their whole life. Most parents have a hard time asking for assistance...so anticipate their needs and do not wait for a thank you or you're appreciated. They try to play down the situation b/c of their own embarrassment. Besides they birthed and raised you and how often did you thank them? You are their family, just do it with love. Do not belittle them...do not make them feel like a baby or child. They are your loved one or parent, treat them as such. If they can do something or want to...LET THEM!....do not rush them or act impatient....what you can do in 2 mins may take them 12 but it helps them by accomplishing it...be goofy...be happy...do not act like they are a chore...they already feel they are. You do not know how many times and different people I have heard say I'm slow, I'm stupid, I don't deserve such good care, If I would just die already, I wish I would die, I wish my daughter, son, etc was like you. I wish they came to see me but they have busy lives so I understand that they don't have time. I am sorry...I am sorry...I am sorry! They apologize more than anything. These poor people apologizing to me for helping them because they can't do it themselves or need assistance!?! And I never say it's my job...so heartless. I say I love assisting you. You are the highlight of my day...putting a smile on your face makes me excited to come here everyday. If it wasn't for you and your words of encouragement I know my days wouldn't be so bright and great. I need to see you smile everyday...you better give me a hug. I listen to all of their stories. I love them. Their pasts were so great and they have so much to share. Remember our elderly now lived through wars, went to war themselves, did hard manual labor before computers and technology....they are so interesting...I love helping people. It is my calling. And I mean every word I tell them...I cry when they cry...I reassure them and apologize for the family they so desperately miss and want to see. So please if you have family in homes...please go visit...even once a month would make a difference. They would look forward to that visit the whole month and then talk about it for the following month...that's how special you are to them. Please do not feel guilty if you put them there. They understand why and most do not hold any grudges. They love you unconditionally and just want to spend time with you before they die. What I would give to see my grandma again just for one day...even one minute. Just to hug her and tell her sorry for everything when I was a child who didn't appreciate everything she did and how special she was. Don't live with what ifs and regrets....because your anger or hurt will turn to remorse and regret once they pass.💖🙏God Bless everyone. Great video btw. Thank you.
I don’t understand caregivers that abuse I understand the stress and frustration but this people didn’t do anything but live a long life and deserve respect and love
Thank you for this video! It is extremely helpful to have a video with a willing participant who is actively receiving the care. It makes it more real and tangible. Much appreciation to this gentleman and his caregiver!
This is the job I'll soon be doing in Canada as of 2022. Such a sublime job. We dont expect others to make it up to our good deeds,but the lord will bless us with an abundance of Love for what we do towards the disable ones 😉
My grandma is now 84 years old. I serve her food as well as tea. Sometimes grandma tells me some jokes and stories that increase my willingness to hear more. She tells me about her past life and experience. I asked her if I thought you might looked so good at your teenage and she feels shy. I see shying cute smile in her face which makes me more passionate to take care of her in my daily basis. ❤
The videos are great. I am just starting on this journey. Both my mum and dad have aged gracefully together and now mum just can't care for dad and the strain has cost her health. Their anxiety and fear of losing each other and losing their own life confronts them daily in the 90's. Now to give up their independence and come and live with me as their son is both a relief for them and a reluctant admission. I will be watch many videos and I can see the need for more male carers so men are not so mothered and can be fathered. I have noticed with dad's part timer carer that he lost confidence as risk management was to her capacity of managing a 100kg man, his capacity to walk, shower and do thing was limited by her capacity to assist him and allow for her fear of him falling and not being able to catch or hold him. When he is with me or my brother his confidence improves and we are not on the clock racing time to get to the next client as the carers are. Very grateful for their work and now it has come to a close. We will experience the demands of two aged parents in the 90's clinging to life for as long as they can.
Thank you for this information. My dad is 80 and are we are just now reaching this stage of his care. It’s all so overwhelming for both of us , and this video is so helpful. Can’t thank you enough.
I'm caring for family, both genders. I find people think it's so hard for guys to care for female family, but take it for granted that women should just be able to care for their male family. Everybody is just doing what they have to do to make sure that needed care is given, it's not any easier.
This video is very helpful, particularly for a recently graduated Certified Nurse Assistant. My first job is caring for an elderly person whom I will have to shower every other day using a shower chair. Thank you.
Thank you so much!! This was so detailed and instructive. I'm really looking into becoming a home caregiver, I've always wanted to care for and help others and have a job that has a real, tangible purpose. And I always hated the idea of adults being left alone or uncared for :'( Ik it can be a challenging job sometimes, but the work people like you do inspires me so much and is very needed❤❤❤
Did this for my 76 old grannie and my 93 year old grandma..thank God for those times and me not being "selfish"...although it was hard for those 4 years..I wouldn't take it back for anything..because they are both gone now..#Respectfullyandhonestlyblessed#
Personal Grooming Neglect has become the "Norm" in hospitals, nursing homes, rehabs and mental health faculties. I have worked in the health care industry for 35 years and watched the decline to personal grooming care. If you have hair, it's time to care!!!
A big part of this is due to time constraints and short staffing. The amount of times I’ve felt immense guilt over not clipping someone’s nails or trimming their beard because I’m only give 6 minutes to a patient is heart breaking. We do our best.
I suda creamed a relatives feet once because the nurses didnt want to do it .... they said to me do it if you want. Suppose all places are different with care
I know this is a bit of a strange case, but I can confirm this trend. I apologise for the long comment, but I wanted to give anyone interested an example of what this can look like in the mental health care sector. A few years ago when I was in my 20s I was in a Private Health psychiatric clinic in Australia for over 12 months. I already had a heart condition (P.O.T.S.), low blood pressure and quite significant muscle wastage from years of anorexia, which made showering and washing my hair really difficult. So even before I came in, I had basically stopped and was just “sponge bathing essential areas” with baby wipes. My hair was just gross and oily I guess 🤷♀️ Unfortunately, my severe depression got to a point where I needed unilateral ECT again, which means I was having the conductive gel put in my hair multiple times a week. The unit I was on already had a disabled bathroom where the nurses would (rarely) shower some of the elderly, so my psychiatrist didn’t see why the nurses wouldn’t be able to wash my hair a couple of times a week on the days I had ECT. I was basically told that I “should go to a hairdresser to have my hair washed” instead. Not only did I have no leave from the hospital to begin with, but even if I did, I was suffering from agoraphobia alongside the severe depression. Fortunately, my psychiatrist didnt give up and fought for me - but it took him TWO MONTHS and he had to work his way all the way to the top of management before they reluctantly agreed to wash the ECT gel out of my hair! During those two months, he would try and wipe as much away as he could with a wet wipe after the procedure, then I would continue this once I woke up in recovery, but my hair got pretty disgusting. Then to make me feel even more crap, on a couple of occasions throughout that admission the nurses would decide that my hair needed to be cut because “it was too long and they didn’t have enough time”. That seems reasonable, however I was unable to see any difference in the amount of time it took them to wash it after they’d cut it 🤷♀️ They would just randomly decide one day that it needed cutting again, would take me into the medication room and chop a few inches off using blunt surgical scissors. I didn’t bother protesting, so I’m not quite sure what might have happened if I did. I’m WELL aware that things could have been MUCH worse than this (because they have been haha). But I guess I just wanted to give an example of the “care” you receive in regards to help with grooming in inpatient mental health, despite being in one of the best and most expensive psychiatric facilities in Australia. I took up 30 minutes of staff time per week for my hair. I never asked for anything else, because I was constantly told how much time I was already wasting when they would wash my hair. This means I went days/weeks/months without a FULL sponge bath/shower (only on one occasion did a nurse sneak me some proper disposable bed bath wipes). I probably only changed my clothes once a week (disposable panty liners and deodorant were my friends). I never shaved. Doing hair or makeup was laughable. Honestly? The lack of care goes so far beyond personal grooming that I feel silly for even complaining about it to be honest! 😂 Saying all that, I DO want to acknowledge and thanks all the good staff out there working in difficult conditions. As is the case in many areas, the nurse:patient ratio in this particular hospital wasn’t great and has unfortunately deteriorated since then.
Soooo. My husband has advanced Alzheimer’s. No matter how gentle, patient and organized I am with him; he fights me on everything. I have watched so many videos for clues and tips. Now he doesn’t like the sound of the beard trimmer around his face and bites at it. The only time I can get him cleaned up with a sponge bath is before bed after he feels woozy from his sleep aid. I’m exhausted and feeling guilty because I can’t seem to find a way to keep him shaved, trimmed and not looking like a haggard mess. He thinks the person looking back at him in the mirror is a stranger so him doing any of this himself or even recognizing that it needs done is out. 😢
I think you should let him grow a beard. It's natural for men, maybe he will even enjoy it. There are scented beard creams and waxes, and beard combs and brushes. Introduce him to the man in the mirror and talk about how cool his beard is. My husband loves his beard and loves scratches under his chin, but only when he has hair there.
Be careful the hairdryer is not too hot. Another variation is to use it with a towel, and point the dryer onto the towel. Then use the warm towel to do the drying.
Thk u! Loved the instructions and tips. It will be a very great help at home for me and my husband who is my wonderful caregiver. Especially abt giving your loved one as much independence with things they can do for themselves, and treating them gently, with kindness, and understanding, and a lot of patience. Also another big and very important tip: go at their pace not yours, you need to not rush or hurry your loved one as it can create a lot of stress and tension for them, it can make them depressed as they will feel they are a burden and nuisance to you.
Some good tips Aberconwy Rose . . . handling these particular caregiving tasks with patience and by intentionally doing things at your loved one's pace rather than your own as the caregiver, are two things that can really help minimize the frustration some might feel. Thank you for posting!
Idk if I wanna be a caregiver, my mom was one and takes care of my grandmother now.But I still wanna learn this stuff cause I love taking care of people.
This video brought back many memories of a very challenging time. Thank you for this wonderful video. Caregivers need all the help we can get. Great tips and information!
This is truly an invaluable video, utterly educational for millions of people worldwide. A must share, congratulations for your amazing work and thank you so much! I'm also sharing this on one of my edublogs!
In India there is no family caregivers center. I am certified geriatric cadre of national institute of social defences old age division, Delhi Dealing with the ADL of aged care at home setting. Care on health and psychological issues. I enjoy my work.
In India the family is wider, so there is more support. In the USA in the past family was wider so care could be spread among more members. People also lived closer together, now work has spread people out. Care often then falls to one person and once they get worn out family ends up in a care center.
8. We have advised the human being to be good to his parents. But if they urge you to associate with Me something you have no knowledge of, do not obey them. To Me is your return; and I will inform you of what you used to do. 9. Those who believe and do good works-We will admit them into the company of the righteous. 10. Among the people is he who says, “We have believed in God.” Yet when he is harmed on God’s account, he equates the people's persecution with God’s retribution. And if help comes from your Lord, he says, “We were actually with you.” Is not God aware of what is inside the hearts of the people? More ... m.clearquran.com/029.html
I’ve been a caregiver for 22 years this month. Before you give a shower, have your loved one choose the clothing if possible, even if they don’t go together. Let them have as much input and independence as possible. Also keep the clothes nearby to where they will dry off. Close the bathroom door to keep the heat, unless they make a fuss about it. They’ll be cold after their shower, so the more warmth they feel, the more it will be beneficial for them. Also, always have them check the water temperature and pressure BEFORE you start putting water all over their body! Test it on their wrist or top of hand, sensitive areas. If a shower isn’t possible, use baby wipes, but not those that are so soapy they will leave a film. It may be an irritant and they may end up scratching at it. I like a gentle scent like cucumber melon or lavender, which is to be calming. (Speaking of lavender, a candle or oil is good for rooms. Obviously, make sure you put the candle out before you leave the premises. Never expect a loved one to know anything about safety.) For the men, there are now Dude wipes. Lastly, a long shoe horn can be of assistance if they tend to put on their own shoes. The older generation used them much more than us youngins ever did.
Thank you for making, what seemed very difficult about my 81y/o dad's bath time, very easy too do. Stay in love and then all that is done is fortified Best
Thank you for showing as I will be going on the wards next week, but there was 2 big no nos on the video, long nails and the ring. (As we learnt bare below elbows and netball nails)
I’m watching this because my great uncle is 82 and he can’t really get in and out of the tub like he use to and I want to help him but I want to not do it properly because i don’t want to hurt him or anything he lives alone with his wife and I stay like a few hours away and I try to come and do stuff while I can.
Thank You for the info. But how should we prevent chills when doing a sponge bath? I usually do small areas complete, that is wash, rinse and dry. Is there a better alternative?
It can be helpful to keep people as covered as possible and only expose a section of the body as you are washing that area, which sounds like what you are doing. Keeping the room warm and using warm water helps, as does putting towels in the dryer ahead of time so they are warm when you dry the person off. For more tips on bathing, you could ask for a physical therapist or occupational therapist to come out and do some training. The website Bathing Without a Battle also has good techniques: bathingwithoutabattle.unc.edu/bathing-techniques
I take care of my aunt who’s 82 years old Altimers I enjoy taking care of her I also took care of one of other aunt who had altimers she passed away in 2018
This is very helpful thank you! Being a caregiver takes power 🔋. And time, it's best to just enjoy it. My mom suffer a stroke recuperated when the Doctor said she would A vegetable.she Believe with her soul God's promises she preach and walk. but anger and fear can be are greatest enemies. Dream on, God continue to give you fruit.
My mom, 85 now, raised 7 boys (including me) & a girl. I'm doing everything I can by myself. It's now come to this subject & I can't thank you enough for this helpful video. I'm 53 & scared all the time I'm not doing enough or not doing something I could. I keep telling myself the important thing is don't stop trying, & praying. To all the caregivers out there, Be Blessed! I'm stopping back in to thank all that sent kind & encouraging words. My mom passed on January 29,2022. Thank you to the creators of this helpful video. It was a big help for me to take the very best care of her until the end. I was often teased & called a mama's boy but it never bothered me. She was a fantastic person that deserved a devoted son. Everyone stay safe & God Bless.
@kicknsystm. My dads 62 with dementia while im only 21. Ive worked full time in personal care for over a year. Dont let it take control over your life. My dad did that and now im in his shoes taking care of him. Theres a point where u need to live your life and leave it to the nursing facilities. Ive been taking care of my dad for over 5 years and its to much sometimes. Everyone needs a break. Dont push go to in over your head
*dont push to much and go in over your head*
Keep doing Your Best, You Beautiful Careing Person!🍀
As it is written " I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me " . (Philippians 2:4 ) This Scripture has gotten me through time and time again . . I hope it blesses you as well . . Also , As it is written " And we know all things work together for good for them that love God , to them who are the called according to his purpose " (Romans 8:28) . .
Im sorry for your loss, you have no idea how much your mom appreciated your help! You’re a son any mom could ever want
I just wanted to say thank you to the gentleman who helped demonstrate. I'm sure he helped hundreds if not thousands of people over time!
Thank you! We'll try to reach out to his caregiver to pass on your kind words.
Thank you! Very much appreciated. I am now crummy for my mother. When I started, I was frightened. Did not want to make a mistake. This was one of my first videos, and it really helped me.
Great video, and a big thank you to tge gentleman and his caregiver for sharing.
He has helped people like myself gain a clear understanding and confidence to get into a care role (with a real life demonstration)
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I have so much respect for him. Breaks my heart when people don’t treat them like normal people, it takes a lot to trust someone to help you in such a vulnerable situation.
I trust nobody
@@capassoluigi7387 ong never until end of time 🪦
😢😊❤😊
Thursday
The trust is likely made easier by the fact that they have no other choices. A bum has no other options.
I’ve been taking care of my almost 85 year old Dad since Christmas when he fell and broke his hip. Before that my sister and I were coming over daily to make sure he got his meds, mail, daily paper and meals. She’d come before work in the morning and I had the evening “shift”. Since she cooked the meals I did the laundry and cleaned and help bathe Dad. She also takes care of his bills and insurance. I decided about a month ago to give up my apartment and move in full time with Dad. I don’t want him to be alone and it was easier for me who’s single without kids to do it as my sister is married and just bought a home. It makes us all feel better. I’m so blessed to have this time with my Dad and feel that we are closer than ever!
God bless you. They were there for us. And now we should be there for them. I took care of my dad. He's gone now. And I miss him badly.
I’m sorry about your Dad but the memories of your special time together are priceless, I’m sure!
You need a care giver , hope you don't mind if I say you should employ me to be your care giver.
Sounds like your father was there for you when you were younger
@@--jenC-- Actually Dad drove truck and was gone throughout the week. We were lucky if we had him home for 2 full days. He worked VERY hard to provide for our family. We were also very blessed that Mom stayed home with us. Dad may not have always been there physically for us, but he was there when it counted and we could always rely on him to take care of us! Thanks for your reply!😁it is much appreciated!!
I've just started my job as a caregiver, and I would like to express my thanks for these videos. I've been scared to shower my clients for fear of hurting them or making them feel dehumanized in any ways. These ways, and even just seeing your chemistry with the elderly man, help me understand the tone and methods necessary to help them feel as comfortable as possible.
hey! i just got hired as a caretaker (with no prior experience), how has your experience been so far? what would you say has been most difficult if you dont mind sharing
@@finnathought8315 how has ur experience been so far? was thinking of this role but also afraid i wont do a good job or will hurt the client accidently.
@@gevoianhow is it going now
@@finnathought8315same- any tips ?
Handling patients that are aggressive is quite a challenge but then these people need us. I know it's hard but there's nothing more gratifying than a patient's simple thank you. For me, it would suffice, but not that I expect it.
Such a sad time for me... Life is full circle. They (parents) give us life and we watch/guide them as theirs end. We stay strong with a pretty smile for our loved ones. For anybody experiencing this, WE CAN DO THIS! :)
Yes,me
Just curious if you have any advice on where to turn for resources? I just took my mother in law into my home this week because her dementia has declined and she needs to be with someone 24/7.
This is such a special time with our loved ones. Showing them the special care we all would want.
@@philmole1209 Life has value and is precious in the sight of God. We serve God by helping others. There's no such thing as a human parasite. Just someone who is fallen. We're here to love and respect each other. Hopefully we'll stay away from the junk food and medications like statins that destroy neurons. It's all preventable. When we took care of my mother, we reversed her dementia by immediately stopping cholesterol lowering medicine and replaced with Cyruta supplement. Then all organic diet and high fat high protein nutrient dense ketogenic diet with no sugar. Mom was working crosswords again after 4 months. Dr. Eric Berg's UA-cam and Darren Schmitt of ann arbor UA-cam.
It's not about them. It's about us. Can we step up and be the best, kindest person in life. It takes sacrifice and love. It's what our society did for thousands of years....
@@philmole1209 People can still offer good company, companionship, friendship and more when they cannot wash themselves.
Why do you resort to quitting life when it gets difficult? I have hope for those who are still alive, hope is alive if life is present.
I hope you change your mind on this, it's not exactly pleasant to be washed for or to give washes but it's meaningful and you will walk away with a selfless act.
@@Lyonessi "it's not exactly pleasant to be washed for or to give washes "
This in a nutshell is what I have a problem with -- the "unpleasantness" of the person who needs help getting that help being equated with the real unpleasantness for the person who has to provide the care. They're not equal. It's a one-sided, parasitic relationship, and the person receiving care has no right to feel anything but gratitude or say anything but "thank you."
And I don't need any goddamn lectures from you. A parasite is not a companion, and if I want a better companion, I have fully functioning humans around me, and my cat. I'm 52 years old and for half of my adult life I've been yoked to people who made no other plans in their life except to be taken care of by other people, and their care has interfered with my life choices and undermined my ability to care for my own family. The last helpless, narcissistic creature who imposed himself on me, my father in law, thankfully died just recently after decades of thanklessly living off of my efforts. So my own perspective is a little different from that of people privileged to see all this as abstract and theoretical, or who might be caring for someone who they at least had a good prior relationship with. That has not been my situation. If and when you're ever in my situation, I might give a shit what you have to say.
My dad has terminal cancer and this has been very helpful! You are an angel, thank you so much.
Nambar send me
Wow wow, i loved the grandpa and the speaker, her way of delivering the lectures, is too good .
We’ve been struggling with my dad’s dementia and consequent bad hygiene. These bathing tips are so helpful! He won’t bathe or let us bathe him but I think the waterless products, wipes or washcloth method he may be open to. I’m going to try so I have my clean dad back (but most importantly prevent him from infections). Thank you! I’ll update once I’ve tried one of these methods. 😊
Hello Diane
How are you doing today?
RESPECT PEOPLE. your parents or whomever you are giving care to does not want to need your help. They want to do it themselves, like they did their whole life. Most parents have a hard time asking for assistance...so anticipate their needs and do not wait for a thank you or you're appreciated. They try to play down the situation b/c of their own embarrassment. Besides they birthed and raised you and how often did you thank them? You are their family, just do it with love. Do not belittle them...do not make them feel like a baby or child. They are your loved one or parent, treat them as such. If they can do something or want to...LET THEM!....do not rush them or act impatient....what you can do in 2 mins may take them 12 but it helps them by accomplishing it...be goofy...be happy...do not act like they are a chore...they already feel they are. You do not know how many times and different people I have heard say I'm slow, I'm stupid, I don't deserve such good care, If I would just die already, I wish I would die, I wish my daughter, son, etc was like you. I wish they came to see me but they have busy lives so I understand that they don't have time. I am sorry...I am sorry...I am sorry! They apologize more than anything. These poor people apologizing to me for helping them because they can't do it themselves or need assistance!?! And I never say it's my job...so heartless. I say I love assisting you. You are the highlight of my day...putting a smile on your face makes me excited to come here everyday. If it wasn't for you and your words of encouragement I know my days wouldn't be so bright and great. I need to see you smile everyday...you better give me a hug. I listen to all of their stories. I love them. Their pasts were so great and they have so much to share. Remember our elderly now lived through wars, went to war themselves, did hard manual labor before computers and technology....they are so interesting...I love helping people. It is my calling. And I mean every word I tell them...I cry when they cry...I reassure them and apologize for the family they so desperately miss and want to see. So please if you have family in homes...please go visit...even once a month would make a difference. They would look forward to that visit the whole month and then talk about it for the following month...that's how special you are to them. Please do not feel guilty if you put them there. They understand why and most do not hold any grudges. They love you unconditionally and just want to spend time with you before they die. What I would give to see my grandma again just for one day...even one minute. Just to hug her and tell her sorry for everything when I was a child who didn't appreciate everything she did and how special she was. Don't live with what ifs and regrets....because your anger or hurt will turn to remorse and regret once they pass.💖🙏God Bless everyone. Great video btw. Thank you.
Thank you. Great words of advice!!
carlo dallavalle Thank you for taking your time to read it. Means a lot to me.🙏 God Bless you!🙌💖
Thanks my dear, I really appreciate advance
Nikki Rucker
Hello. Marry me
I don’t understand caregivers that abuse I understand the stress and frustration but this people didn’t do anything but live a long life and deserve respect and love
Thank you for this video! It is extremely helpful to have a video with a willing participant who is actively receiving the care. It makes it more real and tangible. Much appreciation to this gentleman and his caregiver!
This is the job I'll soon be doing in Canada as of 2022. Such a sublime job. We dont expect others to make it up to our good deeds,but the lord will bless us with an abundance of Love for what we do towards the disable ones 😉
Amen! I respect your service and I hope the lord blesses you 10 fold!
👍🏻🤗💋💛🌼
AMEN!
If you believe in the Lord, why are you expecting rewards for your services?
My grandma is now 84 years old. I serve her food as well as tea. Sometimes grandma tells me some jokes and stories that increase my willingness to hear more. She tells me about her past life and experience. I asked her if I thought you might looked so good at your teenage and she feels shy. I see shying cute smile in her face which makes me more passionate to take care of her in my daily basis. ❤
The videos are great. I am just starting on this journey. Both my mum and dad have aged gracefully together and now mum just can't care for dad and the strain has cost her health. Their anxiety and fear of losing each other and losing their own life confronts them daily in the 90's. Now to give up their independence and come and live with me as their son is both a relief for them and a reluctant admission. I will be watch many videos and I can see the need for more male carers so men are not so mothered and can be fathered. I have noticed with dad's part timer carer that he lost confidence as risk management was to her capacity of managing a 100kg man, his capacity to walk, shower and do thing was limited by her capacity to assist him and allow for her fear of him falling and not being able to catch or hold him. When he is with me or my brother his confidence improves and we are not on the clock racing time to get to the next client as the carers are. Very grateful for their work and now it has come to a close. We will experience the demands of two aged parents in the 90's clinging to life for as long as they can.
@Hello there, how are you doing this blessed day?
Thank you for this information. My dad is 80 and are we are just now reaching this stage of his care. It’s all so overwhelming for both of us , and this video is so helpful. Can’t thank you enough.
It's really sad when you have to do this for your own mother.. But anything that makes her happy.
Is she ok?
I'm caring for family, both genders. I find people think it's so hard for guys to care for female family, but take it for granted that women should just be able to care for their male family. Everybody is just doing what they have to do to make sure that needed care is given, it's not any easier.
Thank you for video I will be helping my grandmother with. her bath and hygiene needs tomorrow she is 92 and adorable..
Saw my grampa need the care of family and hospice. Very greatful to you caregivers. I myself could not do this.
I was a caregiver
for 19 years and patience music were the best thing I found that made their days better
Me too ..still am working as a Care giver and I take care of two people
i dont know why im watching this but this lady's voice is very oddly soothing lol
feeltheillinois ikr
you STUPID!😡
Her voice Its so smooth
Lol
her confidence is turning me on
Endless thanks to everyone who contributed to the production of this useful video. God bless you.
Greetings and regards from Turkey.
This video is very helpful, particularly for a recently graduated Certified Nurse Assistant. My first job is caring for an elderly person whom I will have to shower every other day using a shower chair. Thank you.
Todd F. White Hi, pls help me to get a job has home care
This is such an amazing, helpful resource. Simply great!
Thank you so much!! This was so detailed and instructive. I'm really looking into becoming a home caregiver, I've always wanted to care for and help others and have a job that has a real, tangible purpose. And I always hated the idea of adults being left alone or uncared for :'( Ik it can be a challenging job sometimes, but the work people like you do inspires me so much and is very needed❤❤❤
I’m starting school for health care aid next Monday so I wanna watch all the videos I can!
Hello Renee
How are you doing today?
Did this for my 76 old grannie and my 93 year old grandma..thank God for those times and me not being "selfish"...although it was hard for those 4 years..I wouldn't take it back for anything..because they are both gone now..#Respectfullyandhonestlyblessed#
May God bless you with health wealth his Grace
Personal Grooming Neglect has become the "Norm" in hospitals, nursing homes, rehabs and mental health faculties. I have worked in the health care industry for 35 years and watched the decline to personal grooming care. If you have hair, it's time to care!!!
A big part of this is due to time constraints and short staffing. The amount of times I’ve felt immense guilt over not clipping someone’s nails or trimming their beard because I’m only give 6 minutes to a patient is heart breaking. We do our best.
I suda creamed a relatives feet once because the nurses didnt want to do it .... they said to me do it if you want. Suppose all places are different with care
I know this is a bit of a strange case, but I can confirm this trend. I apologise for the long comment, but I wanted to give anyone interested an example of what this can look like in the mental health care sector. A few years ago when I was in my 20s I was in a Private Health psychiatric clinic in Australia for over 12 months. I already had a heart condition (P.O.T.S.), low blood pressure and quite significant muscle wastage from years of anorexia, which made showering and washing my hair really difficult. So even before I came in, I had basically stopped and was just “sponge bathing essential areas” with baby wipes. My hair was just gross and oily I guess 🤷♀️ Unfortunately, my severe depression got to a point where I needed unilateral ECT again, which means I was having the conductive gel put in my hair multiple times a week. The unit I was on already had a disabled bathroom where the nurses would (rarely) shower some of the elderly, so my psychiatrist didn’t see why the nurses wouldn’t be able to wash my hair a couple of times a week on the days I had ECT. I was basically told that I “should go to a hairdresser to have my hair washed” instead. Not only did I have no leave from the hospital to begin with, but even if I did, I was suffering from agoraphobia alongside the severe depression. Fortunately, my psychiatrist didnt give up and fought for me - but it took him TWO MONTHS and he had to work his way all the way to the top of management before they reluctantly agreed to wash the ECT gel out of my hair! During those two months, he would try and wipe as much away as he could with a wet wipe after the procedure, then I would continue this once I woke up in recovery, but my hair got pretty disgusting. Then to make me feel even more crap, on a couple of occasions throughout that admission the nurses would decide that my hair needed to be cut because “it was too long and they didn’t have enough time”. That seems reasonable, however I was unable to see any difference in the amount of time it took them to wash it after they’d cut it 🤷♀️ They would just randomly decide one day that it needed cutting again, would take me into the medication room and chop a few inches off using blunt surgical scissors. I didn’t bother protesting, so I’m not quite sure what might have happened if I did.
I’m WELL aware that things could have been MUCH worse than this (because they have been haha). But I guess I just wanted to give an example of the “care” you receive in regards to help with grooming in inpatient mental health, despite being in one of the best and most expensive psychiatric facilities in Australia. I took up 30 minutes of staff time per week for my hair. I never asked for anything else, because I was constantly told how much time I was already wasting when they would wash my hair. This means I went days/weeks/months without a FULL sponge bath/shower (only on one occasion did a nurse sneak me some proper disposable bed bath wipes). I probably only changed my clothes once a week (disposable panty liners and deodorant were my friends). I never shaved. Doing hair or makeup was laughable. Honestly? The lack of care goes so far beyond personal grooming that I feel silly for even complaining about it to be honest! 😂 Saying all that, I DO want to acknowledge and thanks all the good staff out there working in difficult conditions. As is the case in many areas, the nurse:patient ratio in this particular hospital wasn’t great and has unfortunately deteriorated since then.
I’m really glad to find this page , I’m taking courses on care giving and this is really helpful , i hope to get a job soon
This was such a well narrated and compassionate video. Thank you so much for the knowledge ❤️
Hello Helen
How are you doing?
Thank yiu. This vid was more useful than dad's social carer! Not much of a carer! All statistics, policies & paper work
You are very well trained you know what the right things to do... I salute you ma'am...
My lovely friend how are you doing you really look nice and so beautiful ❤️❤️🌹🥀💜
Soooo. My husband has advanced Alzheimer’s. No matter how gentle, patient and organized I am with him; he fights me on everything. I have watched so many videos for clues and tips. Now he doesn’t like the sound of the beard trimmer around his face and bites at it. The only time I can get him cleaned up with a sponge bath is before bed after he feels woozy from his sleep aid. I’m exhausted and feeling guilty because I can’t seem to find a way to keep him shaved, trimmed and not looking like a haggard mess. He thinks the person looking back at him in the mirror is a stranger so him doing any of this himself or even recognizing that it needs done is out. 😢
I think you should let him grow a beard. It's natural for men, maybe he will even enjoy it. There are scented beard creams and waxes, and beard combs and brushes. Introduce him to the man in the mirror and talk about how cool his beard is. My husband loves his beard and loves scratches under his chin, but only when he has hair there.
Hurray for the Family Caregiver Alliance! Thank you for these great tips!
Am just starting my training to become a care in care home these videos are very helpful
I didn’t know I can use hair dryer on the body? I learned something!!! I’m new to all this, mom was diagnosed with dementia few months ago
Be careful the hairdryer is not too hot. Another variation is to use it with a towel, and point the dryer onto the towel. Then use the warm towel to do the drying.
Thk u! Loved the instructions and tips. It will be a very great help at home for me and my husband who is my wonderful caregiver. Especially abt giving your loved one as much independence with things they can do for themselves, and treating them gently, with kindness, and understanding, and a lot of patience. Also another big and very important tip: go at their pace not yours, you need to not rush or hurry your loved one as it can create a lot of stress and tension for them, it can make them depressed as they will feel they are a burden and nuisance to you.
Some good tips Aberconwy Rose . . . handling these particular caregiving tasks with patience and by intentionally doing things at your loved one's pace rather than your own as the caregiver, are two things that can really help minimize the frustration some might feel. Thank you for posting!
Thankou very much for video you post. And the gentleman and care giver both are great.
What a wonderful video with great suggestions. Thank you for sharing ❤️
These have helped me so much!
I just want to say thank you so much for what you doing god bless you
Hello Juliet
How are you doing today?
Idk if I wanna be a caregiver, my mom was one and takes care of my grandmother now.But I still wanna learn this stuff cause I love taking care of people.
You can help your mom take care of your gran mom your will receive God's blessings and grace
God blessed you !soon i become a caregiver in gods perfect timing 🙏❤️
My lovely friend how are you doing please can I know more about this if you don't mind ❤️❤️💜💓💓
Thanks so much for this wonderful Guidelines
This video brought back many memories of a very challenging time. Thank you for this wonderful video. Caregivers need all the help we can get. Great tips and information!
I thank all the caregivers for communicating with Residents
It's an honourable occupation. What is more important than caring for the elderly 🙏
I love my job as a CNA and caring for the elderly residents at my facility ❤
I would say lots of things are more important.
Thank you for uploading knowledge and empathy
thank you maam for your Sharing love it ❤❤❤
This is really informative and your voice is very pleasant. Thanks for the video! :)
What a kind and beautiful person
..
This is truly an invaluable video, utterly educational for millions of people worldwide. A must share, congratulations for your amazing work and thank you so much! I'm also sharing this on one of my edublogs!
In India there is no family caregivers center. I am certified geriatric cadre of national institute of social defences old age division, Delhi
Dealing with the ADL of aged care at home setting. Care on health and psychological issues. I enjoy my work.
@Hello there, how are you doing this blessed day?
In India the family is wider, so there is more support. In the USA in the past family was wider so care could be spread among more members. People also lived closer together, now work has spread people out. Care often then falls to one person and once they get worn out family ends up in a care center.
Thank you alot watching this 2021helps alot
Thank you for the video after highschool and college I will be a nurse :)
Watching these video, remained me of the time when I was taking care of my dad. it sad not to have her with me.
I'm just begining my journey. I would LOVE any words of wisdom, advice, etc. I'm very nervous about doing things wrong.
Lavern Mc farlane ur dad was a her btw hope ur ok:(
الله كريم
Her???
8. We have advised the human being to be good to his parents. But if they urge you to associate with Me something you have no knowledge of, do not obey them. To Me is your return; and I will inform you of what you used to do.
9. Those who believe and do good works-We will admit them into the company of the righteous.
10. Among the people is he who says, “We have believed in God.” Yet when he is harmed on God’s account, he equates the people's persecution with God’s retribution. And if help comes from your Lord, he says, “We were actually with you.” Is not God aware of what is inside the hearts of the people?
More ...
m.clearquran.com/029.html
شکریہ علم عطا کرنے کا۔
Thank you for this video it helped me alot in my studies.
Glad to see these videos
Wonderful video for bath to the patient
Proud caregiver here 😊😊😊
Is very hard to take care of sick grandparents 😢much love and patience is the key
i love listening watching your videos about taking care its bcoz of fill with love this i like
even not just love ones eve to other clients
I’ve been a caregiver for 22 years this month. Before you give a shower, have your loved one choose the clothing if possible, even if they don’t go together. Let them have as much input and independence as possible. Also keep the clothes nearby to where they will dry off. Close the bathroom door to keep the heat, unless they make a fuss about it. They’ll be cold after their shower, so the more warmth they feel, the more it will be beneficial for them. Also, always have them check the water temperature and pressure BEFORE you start putting water all over their body! Test it on their wrist or top of hand, sensitive areas. If a shower isn’t possible, use baby wipes, but not those that are so soapy they will leave a film. It may be an irritant and they may end up scratching at it. I like a gentle scent like cucumber melon or lavender, which is to be calming. (Speaking of lavender, a candle or oil is good for rooms. Obviously, make sure you put the candle out before you leave the premises. Never expect a loved one to know anything about safety.) For the men, there are now Dude wipes. Lastly, a long shoe horn can be of assistance if they tend to put on their own shoes. The older generation used them much more than us youngins ever did.
Thank you! This is very educational.
Thank you for making, what seemed very difficult about my 81y/o dad's bath time, very easy too do. Stay in love and then all that is done is fortified Best
Great work Caitlin
Thank you very much for helping me
Thanks, God bless you, Done a good job
Thank you for showing as I will be going on the wards next week, but there was 2 big no nos on the video, long nails and the ring. (As we learnt bare below elbows and netball nails)
Thank you for this wonderful video
Hello Dear
How are you doing today?
Thank you so much for sharing these information with us.
Thanks for the video, very formative will help me in my interview next week.
I
Thank you very much for the video, God bless you Amen. This will help lots of people to know what caregiver m
This is the job hi want to start in Burlington NC 🙏 😃😊, blessings
Thank you so much am one of care givers am in Saudi Arabia.
thank you for the service.
No words✨💓🙏💐
Thanks. This was helpful.
I’m watching this because my great uncle is 82 and he can’t really get in and out of the tub like he use to and I want to help him but I want to not do it properly because i don’t want to hurt him or anything he lives alone with his wife and I stay like a few hours away and I try to come and do stuff while I can.
My mum having a 7 child, but no one will give a time for her, I'm happy even in a hard times, the God gave me a chance to be with her
Thank You for the info. But how should we prevent chills when doing a sponge bath? I usually do small areas complete, that is wash, rinse and dry. Is there a better alternative?
It can be helpful to keep people as covered as possible and only expose a section of the body as you are washing that area, which sounds like what you are doing. Keeping the room warm and using warm water helps, as does putting towels in the dryer ahead of time so they are warm when you dry the person off. For more tips on bathing, you could ask for a physical therapist or occupational therapist to come out and do some training. The website Bathing Without a Battle also has good techniques: bathingwithoutabattle.unc.edu/bathing-techniques
CAREGIVERdotORG
Very helpful video!
I take care of my aunt who’s 82 years old Altimers I enjoy taking care of her I also took care of one of other aunt who had altimers she passed away in 2018
Bless him lord
This is very helpful thank you! Being a caregiver takes power 🔋. And time, it's best to just enjoy it. My mom suffer a stroke recuperated when the Doctor said she would A vegetable.she Believe with her soul God's promises she preach and walk. but anger and fear can be are greatest enemies. Dream on, God continue to give you fruit.
He is so adorable 😩
Thanks for your video , great help 🙏❤️
Hello Margaret
How are you doing today?
@@ThompsonSmith505 🙏❤❤❤
@@margaretgarden1470 Where are you from if I may ask?
@@ThompsonSmith505 Australia 😊
@@margaretgarden1470 Oh okay
How’s the weather over there?
Two words: THANK YOU.
My lovely friend how are you doing you really look nice and so beautiful ❤️❤️🌹🥀💜
@@douglasboothbooth1018
That was nice of you! Caring for my Mom and praying for her to be okay.
Keep spirit....Bro....👍👍👍🙏🙏🙏
Yes
What
U name
Thank you. Very helpful.
Very educative,thanks
This reminds me of the album called "everywhere at the end of time"
Che tenerezza il vecchietto ❤☺
Thank You for this information. I am new to this
Thank you for this idea
Thank you for the video. I can not wait to help others. I am planing to take health care aide program and very excited.
You will feel happy if you help old people and others ok