I could not stop nodding my head in agreement with everything you were saying Candace. It so accurately describes me and my life . This video came through at exactly the right time, proving there are no coincidences in life, just the Universe giving you what you need, when you need it. Thank you ☺️ 🙏🏻
@@CandacevanDell with the awareness of the dynamic I was born into and who I truly am, my life is beginning to finally make sense at the age of 53. The world didn’t understand me and that’s why they tried so hard to make me fit in where I didn’t belong.
I'm a man and an HSP. When you are a man you are expected to be extremely strong, extremely tough mentally, physically and emotionally, stoic, highly aggressive, super energetic, infinitely positive, reckless, wealthy, successful, charismatic, a leader of other people, be proficient in a martial art, only ever show positive emotions, never show vulnerability or self doubt or pain, not have any self doubt or sadness or pain, have lots of meaningless sex, travel to many exotic places, and always appear slightly threatening to everyone around me but never appear creepy. I have always have found most of that to be very much at odds of who I am, but I felt there was something wrong with me for not being those things and not wanting to be all of those things. I have always had an extreme amount of self doubt and self hate because of that. So I spent an enormous amount of time, energy, and money trying to be those things. I did manage to be some of those things and to attain some of those things some of the time, but it was not fun, I did not enjoy my life very much, and I was fundamentally making myself into someone who I am not. So in the end I gave up trying to make myself be all of these things. Just like you I often get into trouble in social situations because I will bluntly say things that appear to be true to me, yet are socially inappropriate to say. That makes social situations especially draining for me. I have to pay attention to what everyone is saying, pay attention to the subtext that everyone is saying, pay attention to the mood in general, then think about what I want to say and think about whether or not it is acceptable to say. Of course this means I am often standing in a group of people not saying anything, and when you are a 6'3'' man doing that you come across as creepy, meaning you have to keep track of how long it has been since you last said something, and say something mundane if that gets to be too long. Needless to say, social interactions are incredibly exhausting for me to have. This means that I have a lot of issues with self confidence regarding my ability to function in social environments for extended periods of time. Thank you very much for making this video Candace. I greatly appreciate that you point out how self doubt affects people like us. A lot of the feelings that I have had and decisions that I have made throughout my life make sense to me now, and I feel more at peace with myself because of that.
Ryan, I know what you're saying. As a 69 years young HSP man, now retired after 32 years in Law Enforcement, things are finally making some sense. I'm not happy that you've had to deal with being HSP, but it's nice knowing I'm not the only one. Hang in there, and I'll do the same. Kim
Oh I totally understand! I have a class/ support group for HSP men. It is called the Inner work and it is Friday 12pm pst www.candacevandell.com/inner-work/
As a 51yr old male I can totally relate to every word you have written here Ryan and you have, without realising it, pretty much described my entire past and present life. It is so great to know that others feel the same way and have had a life very similar to my own. As someone who has never been what everyone else is I am almost in tears reading your words. Something probably all HSP men can understand. It is only now that my life and who I am is making sense and with the help of these brilliant videos can I start to move forward and almost begin my life, not the one everyone else keeps telling me I should have. Massive thanks for taking the time to articulate your feelings and emotions and life Ryan and my very best wishes to you.
@@gordonj498 Hello Gordon, thank you very much for your response. I greatly appreciate that I was able to connect to you in this way and that I was able to put your life experiences into words in such a profound way. Communication is not really my strong suit, most people can never really understand me when I try to pour my heart out, or when I try to communicate anything else for that matter. I wish you the best of luck in life as well and I hope that through forums like this one more people like us will be able to more readily understand themselves and find their direction in life.
Oh. My. God. I cannot tell you how seen I feel right now. Self doubt has been the most difficult thing in my life since I was a teen, i’ve lost myself, i struggle with making the smallest decision, never knowing what to do. Everything you said made so much sense. Thank you so much for existing ❤️
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ I just can’t find words for what a human/soul you are. I am 48 years older. No one has ever explained things the way you do. You are a gift to this word. 🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️
So smart Candace and so true. I’ve never heard anyone say what I felt before as a child of going into an existential crisis at my true self not being seen, nurtured, and my light being hated on, punished. Thank you
Have felt a lot. But suppressed everything I felt. Or been told that what I see and feel is not true. Quite confusing and dangerous in the long run. With that, self-doubt begins among those I both know and see. Then I let others rule if they said it's not true. But I've felt strange. Got physically ill from doing this. But got enough in 2021. Ended up in a similar situation. Where I see something terrible. But again what I see and hear is denied. Got a stomach ache. It didn't go away. Went over what I recognized. With that my body started to give up. So I said stop. But the journey that started after that was the toughest I've been through. A spiritual awakening. Painful. But promised never to go against myself again.
I find it extremely hard to regret my decisions. It's due to that being who I am. To regret that I'd have want change something and not be who I'm am. This wasn't always the case. I had get to point where I loved myself for who I am. I got to that point in 1998. Once I loved who I was regrets became irrelevant.
Thank you so mucha Candace, every time I step into your videos I find such a valuable information, to understand myself better, to be more comprehensive with myself and more kind now knowing I was simply not taught how to love, trust and believe in myself. Thank you sooo much for all you share 🙏🙏❤️💛😍😘
The validation in this video is so powerful. Been on a growth journey for about 5 years now, with so many little windows and insights into myself, but usually when I’m ‘low’ I wonder why I’m ‘back here’… judgement, self trust…the list goes on… I love your messages here, thanks so much for this!
This is a quite brilliant video Ms van Dell. Your words are so insightful and personal and are resonating with me in relation to how I have been my entire life. I can't tell you how wonderfully uplifting it is to hear you.
Probably get this kind of thing a lot, but it is extremely awesome to listen to someone who obviously understands. Are we spread wide and far? Why do I only find HSP on UA-cam? Or are we just quiet?
Thank you! Divine timing of this video- no doubt about it! Your straightforward delivery of 'how it is' & personal message felt like food to my soul! The truth is rather sad, yet a beautiful comfort to hear your conviction & 'big sis' like protection... Thank you for paving a way for us, for being a guiding light
Many psychologists are currently worsen the legit nature and percepctions of HSP or of being an HSP because they came up qith pretty convincing arguments that High sensitivity is developed ONLY as a response to early childhood trauma which adapted the brain for always being in HIGH alert and high awareness as a reaction to a psychopathic parent or narcisisitic parent, thus explaining the overestimulation that is often associated to HSPs (understood as normal to high sensitivity in HSPs circles). So high sensitivy would have resulted from a natural survival machanism of the brain, still developing in childhood and adolescence, to really cruel, unexpected psychological and/or pshysical abuse already in the mother's womb and then after birth during the upbringing years. So, as a result, many HSPs are currently reacting negatively to being HSPs becuase they had leart to love their high sensitivity as it is, as part of themselves, and because they had already identifies with it (since upon discovery it had brought the gift of self acceptance packaged up like a personality trait backed by science. So, now with these new found arguments against High sensitivity, which as an HSP male all my life, I am struggling to deny, is has become very hard for me to see my authenticity of character reflected in the HSP personality definition as legit in itself. There are A LOT of so called "alpha females and alpha males" who literally despise how HSPs naturally behave and relate to others, I have encountered A LOT of "alpha" women, meaning "superior" narcicitic crap type of women, who think that HSP men as like sissies and thus not worthy of being a husband to them, because what they do not consider "real" men someone who speaks softer, is more quiet, weird, feels as much and is emotional as much as any women, less than a man, so obviously, I am not going to feel good enough for them, I like women who are just as soft as me, just as peaceful as me, just as internally beatiful as myself, that is a good match. I now a days just say "fuck society and alphas jerks outthere" fuck them, that helps them moving forward as I am. Do you know the story behind the X-MEN comic, Candace? Well, there was an episode of the x-men tv show of the 90's which showedthe complains of the mutant-like superheros againsts society condemnation of their diversity/mutations or superpowers, the mutants said they did not want their powers to be "cured". They screamed "WE DONT WANT A CURE!!" tHESE psyhologists are offering now new services for curing CPTSD symptoms aka high sensitivity symptoms like EMDR, hypnosis, tapping. They are seeking to make money with these treatments, by making High sensitivity fundamentally WRONG. Psychologists dont like that we are this way because that means they now have to endure us/be unusually exceptionally more patient with HSPs, and they cannot offer treatment, $$$$$.
I could not stop nodding my head in agreement with everything you were saying Candace. It so accurately describes me and my life . This video came through at exactly the right time, proving there are no coincidences in life, just the Universe giving you what you need, when you need it. Thank you ☺️ 🙏🏻
Oh I soooo Love this message 👼👼👼
@@CandacevanDell with the awareness of the dynamic I was born into and who I truly am, my life is beginning to finally make sense at the age of 53. The world didn’t understand me and that’s why they tried so hard to make me fit in where I didn’t belong.
I'm a man and an HSP.
When you are a man you are expected to be extremely strong, extremely tough mentally, physically and emotionally, stoic, highly aggressive, super energetic, infinitely positive, reckless, wealthy, successful, charismatic, a leader of other people, be proficient in a martial art, only ever show positive emotions, never show vulnerability or self doubt or pain, not have any self doubt or sadness or pain, have lots of meaningless sex, travel to many exotic places, and always appear slightly threatening to everyone around me but never appear creepy.
I have always have found most of that to be very much at odds of who I am, but I felt there was something wrong with me for not being those things and not wanting to be all of those things. I have always had an extreme amount of self doubt and self hate because of that. So I spent an enormous amount of time, energy, and money trying to be those things. I did manage to be some of those things and to attain some of those things some of the time, but it was not fun, I did not enjoy my life very much, and I was fundamentally making myself into someone who I am not. So in the end I gave up trying to make myself be all of these things.
Just like you I often get into trouble in social situations because I will bluntly say things that appear to be true to me, yet are socially inappropriate to say. That makes social situations especially draining for me. I have to pay attention to what everyone is saying, pay attention to the subtext that everyone is saying, pay attention to the mood in general, then think about what I want to say and think about whether or not it is acceptable to say. Of course this means I am often standing in a group of people not saying anything, and when you are a 6'3'' man doing that you come across as creepy, meaning you have to keep track of how long it has been since you last said something, and say something mundane if that gets to be too long. Needless to say, social interactions are incredibly exhausting for me to have. This means that I have a lot of issues with self confidence regarding my ability to function in social environments for extended periods of time.
Thank you very much for making this video Candace. I greatly appreciate that you point out how self doubt affects people like us. A lot of the feelings that I have had and decisions that I have made throughout my life make sense to me now, and I feel more at peace with myself because of that.
Society isn't always nice to us HSP men. A lot of what you say resonates with me. Keep living your truth and accepting yourself
Ryan, I know what you're saying. As a 69 years young HSP man, now retired after 32 years in Law Enforcement, things are finally making some sense. I'm not happy that you've had to deal with being HSP, but it's nice knowing I'm not the only one. Hang in there, and I'll do the same. Kim
Oh I totally understand! I have a class/ support group for HSP men. It is called the Inner work and it is Friday 12pm pst www.candacevandell.com/inner-work/
As a 51yr old male I can totally relate to every word you have written here Ryan and you have, without realising it, pretty much described my entire past and present life. It is so great to know that others feel the same way and have had a life very similar to my own.
As someone who has never been what everyone else is I am almost in tears reading your words. Something probably all HSP men can understand. It is only now that my life and who I am is making sense and with the help of these brilliant videos can I start to move forward and almost begin my life, not the one everyone else keeps telling me I should have.
Massive thanks for taking the time to articulate your feelings and emotions and life Ryan and my very best wishes to you.
@@gordonj498 Hello Gordon, thank you very much for your response. I greatly appreciate that I was able to connect to you in this way and that I was able to put your life experiences into words in such a profound way. Communication is not really my strong suit, most people can never really understand me when I try to pour my heart out, or when I try to communicate anything else for that matter. I wish you the best of luck in life as well and I hope that through forums like this one more people like us will be able to more readily understand themselves and find their direction in life.
Please more dog. Instantly calming
Gotcha! He loves it too ❤️
Oh. My. God. I cannot tell you how seen I feel right now. Self doubt has been the most difficult thing in my life since I was a teen, i’ve lost myself, i struggle with making the smallest decision, never knowing what to do. Everything you said made so much sense. Thank you so much for existing ❤️
❤️❤️❤️❤️I see you, I get you!!
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I just can’t find words for what a human/soul you are.
I am 48 years older. No one has ever explained things the way you do. You are a gift to this word. 🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️
So smart Candace and so true. I’ve never heard anyone say what I felt before as a child of going into an existential crisis at my true self not being seen, nurtured, and my light being hated on, punished. Thank you
I have been there!!! It needs to be acknowledged ❤️
@@CandacevanDell It so does
Have felt a lot. But suppressed everything I felt. Or been told that what I see and feel is not true. Quite confusing and dangerous in the long run. With that, self-doubt begins among those I both know and see. Then I let others rule if they said it's not true. But I've felt strange. Got physically ill from doing this. But got enough in 2021. Ended up in a similar situation. Where I see something terrible. But again what I see and hear is denied. Got a stomach ache. It didn't go away. Went over what I recognized. With that my body started to give up. So I said stop. But the journey that started after that was the toughest I've been through. A spiritual awakening. Painful. But promised never to go against myself again.
You're the best Candace. Your breakdown of self distrust is on point.
Thank you so much Bastian (I love your name)
@@CandacevanDell Thanks its short for Sebastian.
I find it extremely hard to regret my decisions. It's due to that being who I am. To regret that I'd have want change something and not be who I'm am. This wasn't always the case. I had get to point where I loved myself for who I am. I got to that point in 1998. Once I loved who I was regrets became irrelevant.
Thank you so mucha Candace, every time I step into your videos I find such a valuable information, to understand myself better, to be more comprehensive with myself and more kind now knowing I was simply not taught how to love, trust and believe in myself. Thank you sooo much for all you share 🙏🙏❤️💛😍😘
Pls make longer vids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Haha working on it
You're awesome!!
Can't believe *YT* recommended you to me one random day. _All hail YT algos!_ 😄
Hope you're having a great week too! 💐🙂
Thank you!
Very welcome!
My goodness, I wish I could afford these courses but thank God there are these videos on here. Always so profound and helpful.
Your such a special person
Grt point! Also, pls mk a video on energetic boundaries.
Coming soon!!!
I feel so seen and heard watching your videos. I just found you yesterday, in the perfect timing!
Love and resonate. We are amazing. Its never our fault 💯😊
👼😍👼❤️
Thank you so much 🙏🏻❤️🌹
Oh I resonate so much!
The validation in this video is so powerful. Been on a growth journey for about 5 years now, with so many little windows and insights into myself, but usually when I’m ‘low’ I wonder why I’m ‘back here’… judgement, self trust…the list goes on… I love your messages here, thanks so much for this!
Thank you 🙏🏽
This is a quite brilliant video Ms van Dell. Your words are so insightful and personal and are resonating with me in relation to how I have been my entire life. I can't tell you how wonderfully uplifting it is to hear you.
Thank you Candace, I don't know if you realize how helpful you are for us HSP. Thank you again so much! xo
It is my mission! Thank you so much for this 👼👼
Probably get this kind of thing a lot, but it is extremely awesome to listen to someone who obviously understands. Are we spread wide and far? Why do I only find HSP on UA-cam? Or are we just quiet?
Sweet puppy 💛
Thank u
Mmm great point about societal ideals vs universal laws.
🙏🏻✌🏻💛
Love this video!! ❤️❤️
Thank you!
Divine timing of this video- no doubt about it!
Your straightforward delivery of 'how it is' & personal message felt like food to my soul! The truth is rather sad, yet a beautiful comfort to hear your conviction & 'big sis' like protection...
Thank you for paving a way for us, for being a guiding light
Thank you so much for this! 👼❤️
Your most spot on video yet!
Thank you so much!! Next level 🙌🏻
Your videos always come at the right moment. ♥ ️Thank you.
Yay! I’m so glad 😍
I'm crying in relief, thank you for these words to makes us feel seen.
You’re just brilliant Candace. Always so incredible in your messages. Thank you x
I needed to hear this...Thank you!
Welcome ❤️🙏🏻
Thank You Candace.... I Love your Fur Baby by the way. Being yourself while Society tells you Not to is Wrong on so Many Levels.....
🐶❤️❤️❤️👼
Every DAMN WORD you Say resides inside my soul 🙏🥰 i have literally been telling myself recently “I give myself permission to be Me..” 💖
YESSS👼👼👼👼
I hear you
You have a very down to earth, grounded energy, and your voice is so calming, thanks for the message ❤️
this was awesome, thank you so much for your insight and kind words 🤍
I love your channel, your content is brilliant in so many ways
Many psychologists are currently worsen the legit nature and percepctions of HSP or of being an HSP because they came up qith pretty convincing arguments that High sensitivity is developed ONLY as a response to early childhood trauma which adapted the brain for always being in HIGH alert and high awareness as a reaction to a psychopathic parent or narcisisitic parent, thus explaining the overestimulation that is often associated to HSPs (understood as normal to high sensitivity in HSPs circles). So high sensitivy would have resulted from a natural survival machanism of the brain, still developing in childhood and adolescence, to really cruel, unexpected psychological and/or pshysical abuse already in the mother's womb and then after birth during the upbringing years. So, as a result, many HSPs are currently reacting negatively to being HSPs becuase they had leart to love their high sensitivity as it is, as part of themselves, and because they had already identifies with it (since upon discovery it had brought the gift of self acceptance packaged up like a personality trait backed by science. So, now with these new found arguments against High sensitivity, which as an HSP male all my life, I am struggling to deny, is has become very hard for me to see my authenticity of character reflected in the HSP personality definition as legit in itself. There are A LOT of so called "alpha females and alpha males" who literally despise how HSPs naturally behave and relate to others, I have encountered A LOT of "alpha" women, meaning "superior" narcicitic crap type of women, who think that HSP men as like sissies and thus not worthy of being a husband to them, because what they do not consider "real" men someone who speaks softer, is more quiet, weird, feels as much and is emotional as much as any women, less than a man, so obviously, I am not going to feel good enough for them, I like women who are just as soft as me, just as peaceful as me, just as internally beatiful as myself, that is a good match. I now a days just say "fuck society and alphas jerks outthere" fuck them, that helps them moving forward as I am. Do you know the story behind the X-MEN comic, Candace? Well, there was an episode of the x-men tv show of the 90's which showedthe complains of the mutant-like superheros againsts society condemnation of their diversity/mutations or superpowers, the mutants said they did not want their powers to be "cured". They screamed "WE DONT WANT A CURE!!" tHESE psyhologists are offering now new services for curing CPTSD symptoms aka high sensitivity symptoms like EMDR, hypnosis, tapping. They are seeking to make money with these treatments, by making High sensitivity fundamentally WRONG. Psychologists dont like that we are this way because that means they now have to endure us/be unusually exceptionally more patient with HSPs, and they cannot offer treatment, $$$$$.
1st ♡ love the doggie
He’s my 👼🐶
6:55
wonderful rationale
Thank you 🌸
This is happing me a lot, thay just haft too putt there on to me*
🙏🌹🍀💛❤💛💖💛❤💛🍀🌹🙏
❤️❤️❤️
🙏🙏🙏
Hi Candace, are there more videos related to this topic?
Sooo many! Just search my name and the topic
❤️
💯❤️😘
🌸💛🌸
❤