Thank you. I was reminded of some of my past ways and though I feel I have an obligation to face what people have to say about my past misdeeds, it left me distraught and hating myself a little. It was nice to read this before bed though.
Oh wow, for some reason your replies didn’t appear in my inbox. I had revisited this video to comment this... A Man Is... A man is not quick to anger He’s not one who’s quick to brawl If you see a man bullying others He’s not a man at all A man is not a quitter He’s not one to turn and run When the going gets rough, he gets tough He’ll remain till the job is done A man takes no satisfaction in seeing another fail He encourages all to try and to believe that they can prevail A man will never boast or brag or kick sand in your eye He’ll stand firm on his conviction with his head held to the sky A man will always lend a hand when he finds a friend in need His character and his integrity makes him a true friend indeed --Mychal Wynn
@Azo Zyten I believe that this quote is stemmed more towards people whom of which have done some really bad things inside/outside of prison, and are trying to redeem themselves. To compare it to someone who commented genocide is something I don’t think is an applicable action regarding the quote.
Yes, precisely. I think men are better built to juggle both - i.e.- warm inside the home towards their families and cool(er) in their dealings with the outside world. Women in comparison have a harder time with this, perhaps due to their diminished ability to compartmentalize as efficiently as men generally can.
Nah, forget that stoicism all the time BS. Everybody has feelings and everyone needs to share them. It's just about finding the appropriate moments to do so. You can't be a warm man and be always stoic. Being stoic all the time and repressing your feelings is what causes people to explode with violence and rage.
@@Starmast3rmusic You don't understand stoicism. You have a misconception, peddled by lazy ppl who haven't read anything. I can only conclude you are buying into the feminist narrative.
@@Starmast3rmusic You are completely wrong Stoicism is not based on denying or repressing emotions it is based on controlling them which is one of the most important elements of masculinity because you know when explosions and road rage happen when people are not in control of their emotions when they are not stoic let me teach you something feelings change really really all the time a person who puts his feelings first and foremost is a person doomed to failure and is like a leaf in the wind waiting for his feelings to lead him through life like a pathetic and incompetent leaf But when a person decides that his decisions, his principles, his tasks, and his goals are more important than his feelings, that's where he can achieve greatness, that's where he can reach his full potential, and that doesn't mean denying them or suppressing them, that means controlling them, and that's what exceptional people and successful people do. Emotions can be treated like energy but you are the one who has to control and choose where this energy goes and this is reflected in stoicism and control of emotions If I hate the way my body looks I can use that energy to feel depressed cry and complain about it or I can use that energy to go to the gym and work on my body if I feel angry I can use that anger to do something productive and I can use that energy to kill someone Controlling your emotions and stoicism is one of the most important things. It gives you the option not to act impulsively due to the emotion (for example, anger to violence, sadness to laziness, etc., etc.) and it gives you the option to direct the emotion to a productive and positive place as opposed to a destructive and negative place
Exactly, I've never labelled myself as I'm not manly or anything, just that i'm me. Other guys care so much about this, you can still be masculine and not base everything off some construct of a man
Νο, but surely a true man understands the purpose of this video, is aware of its statements and can recognize them... And someone who can be a bit successful too gets solutions to them.
@@ssssSTopmotion being a man is a social construction , and anyone quite fit with the characteristics. So you're not a man either , and there's anything wrong with that. So stop attacking people idiot.
A 'Real' man is whatever he wants to be. Be that 'cool' 'warm' or even bloody tepid if he so chooses. He's anxious, he's overconfident, he's intelligent, he's a mindless brute. He loves sport yet he also can fathom what is entertaining about kicking a ball into a net. He loves computer games and also thinks they're just for children. Men are 'real' men. And if you live your life by the standard of another man then only then would I venture to say you are not in fact a real man because you are not your own man.
I prefer a society that has standards. And since most of those standards are innate, all we really need to do is set realistic goals for our young men and build their confidence by allowing them to fail and learn instead of telling them they can be whatever they want, now sit down and shut up, have you had your ritalin?
Frederick Swan Forcing people to be up to specific standarts isn't really an optimal idea, pal. Wouldn't be the first time guys have killed themselves because they couldn't live up to what society expected of them. Just let people be as best as they can.
There is a reason why I can't fully get behind a lot of TSoL videos. Most are flawed and give a slightly warped image of reality. A "real" man if you would have to categorize one as such, would be an fully actualized person who has very defined values and a carefully craftet but dynamic worldview. Real men have qualities of both types of men showcased here. The reason "cool" men are attractive is because they appear to have a firm belief and a defined set of values. The reason "warm" men are so likeable is because they are empathetic and caring. Contradictory to all media that shits in your head regarding the image of a real male, being confident and relaxed does NOT in any way stand in conflict with being open, empathetic and loving. What's important is that real men realize that fear is only as devastating as you let it become . And that since everybody struggles with life, being flawed doesn't mean you can't be confident and fully accepting of yourself as well as other people. You accept your own flaws and those of others while naturally trying to better yourself which in turn benefits all those around you. That's why both of these two initial types of "real" men are actually complete nonsense once you look deeper into it. I suggest turning to the old philosophers for actually real guidance on manhood, or for any of these kind of subjects in fact. They indirectly already answered every question a human being could ever need to ask. With pretty much as much thought behind those answers as humanly possible.
This is a really good comment and there's a lot of value in a balanced view like this. Consciousness of shared vulnerability, if thought through, should ultimately lead to a kind of confidence. I think TSoL probably chose to highlight the 'warm' side as a kind of activism. I feel our times are essentially narcissistic and competitive so foregrounding a compassionate realism is very worthwhile. And ultimately one cannot say everything that needs to be said in 4:32, so shifting the conversation positively has value as well.
I'm 55 and through the years found that being manly, believe it or not, is never showing anger. When my wife or kids were angry, and ranting at me, I took the punches and showed compassion and interest in their grievances. Over time they saw me as the rock of the family. Unwavering, steadfast and yes a punching bag for their emotions if they need it. Being angry means you have become emotional. THAT emotion is reserved for physically defending loved ones or yourself. Showing anger means you have lost control because anger is a secondary emotion to fear and frustration. Don't be afraid. Don't lose control. Be the dependable rock. Be a man.
the ideal man has strong principles but brave enough to admit he's wrong, open minded, kind, not afraid to show his vulnerability and most importantly, has washboard abs.
2:54 Russian author Vsevolod Garshin. He wrote short stories about his pacifist believes, love of beauty and aversion to evil. The portrait seen at 2:54 was made by Ilia Efimovich Repin, a painter who he became friends with. Four years after this was painted Garshin committed suicide (just like his father and brother did). I can't put my finger on it but something fascinates me about Garshin. Thank you for reading and your time :) Another great video, don't ever change :)
The first thing i noticed about the picture was the eyes. They seem so expressive, and the first thing that went through my head when I saw the painting was: "He looks like he is in pain".
I'm pretty sure, if you live the warm man long and good enough, then you will look on the outside pretty much like the cool man. I think so, because being "warm" the way you described it, you learn to cope with your problems and at some point you have defeated your anxiety and fears. You know how to handle things and simply stay cool. However nobody feels left cold in your presence, because you don't pretend to have anything under control, you actually have most things under control. Thus you can deal even with the problems of others and show that you care reassuringly. The warm man - really an ideal worth working towards.
Junebugz There is a difference between being cold and being cool. Emotional numbness is emotional blindness, which results in miscommunication with one's own self and others. Emotional calm comes in recognising the emotions that rise, yet not being taken for a ride by them. This way, one has the perspective to act appropriately to it than simply being reactive to it. An individual who has made this as second nature to them may seem cold and distant, but their actions would command respect and speak wisdom than a thousand hollow words and reactions.
The thing with the "cool" man is that being one is as unrealistic as the media that portraits it, we are all human and as so we are vulnerable. I always found the ideo of the "cool" man, well, cool. But that should not stop us from being warm or trying to be. The "cool" man is as cool as an action movie superhero, is an ideal only truly possible in full extent when it exist in fiction.
I’ve been watching a ton of SoL vids as I go through breaking up with my longest term gf and this might be the best one I’ve watched. It makes me feel seen and validated since I’ve never thought of myself as “Cool.” Thank you for these and please keep it up!
I feel like a confident man only got that way through rejection. After a guy gets rejected by many girls he doesn't give a flip or react as much anymore. He basically looses himself because he couldn't win a certain girl over. He stops putting women on a pedestal. Then he works towards what he really wants, muscles, money, social life, and becomes successful. After this turning point women pursue him as he shows that he can support a family and has his own life together.
Why was he putting women on a pedestal in the first place? "To thine own self be true." Likewise, a woman shouldn't put a man at the center of her universe, either -- we should be our own suns, and then reach out to others only once we're alright with ourselves and ourselves alone. Anything else is a folly that will end in "if only I had _____ I'll be happy!" thinking, which ends poorly. External validation is never the way to become alright with our true judge -- ourselves. The REALLY cool AND warm people know this. It's not about NOT caring about others -- it's about being TRULY fine with OURSELVES first and foremost.
Mike k .... and then the new man is wise and remember how women treated him and what they are really after to and uses them as what they are heartless objects.
Luca Raimondo - I don't think mike k has so much enlightment as you do because his words were "he shows that he can support a family", so basically he kill himself trying to climb to the top just to have one of those dumb bitches that treat him like shit on top of himself.
Seems to me the ideal Man is a balance between the "warm" and "cool" man. There are times when the qualities of the "cool" man are advantageous, and vice versa at other times.
Since it's so hard to find a definition of what a cool or warm man is. I think you should just try to follow your own truth. As a women that's more attractive and that's what I do personally. The more you follow your emotions and don't deny them the more you're true to yourself.
@@thisisntallowed9560 But you are not your emotions. They aren't really a part of you. Following them won't get you anywhere, which of course doesn't automatically mean you can't experience and acknowledge having them in the first place. Perhaps you just worded it weirdly, nonetheless this advice seems weak to me.
@@patrolmostwanted I would argue we are both our emotions and our thoughts. That's why clinical depression exist. I shouldn't have said ''follow your emotion'' so quickly, I think we should always listen to our emotions, and use our rational mind to decide how we will act on them. Never listening to your emotion would leave you in a dark place I think. We know we are authentic when something ''feels right''. Also even if you decide to ignore your emotions, you will still act on them unconciously, so it's better to be concious... I learned that the hard way because my mother isn't emotionally intelligent/mature.
@@TheNaishproductions-tn3yb Partially true but it goes a bit deeper than that. It's a part of you that gets annoyed by that person after all and it's you who lets those bad emotions run rampant inside your head. You can of course end the relationship but after doing so you should also do some thorough mental self-examination and try to come out of it as a better person, so that you will be more stable the next time when something similar happens.
"A real man is not necessarily the one who can take down another man physically but rather he is the one who remains calm and collected during hardships and has great patience" -prophet Muhammad (PBUH)
Step 1: Be swift as a coursing river Step 2: Have all the force of a great typhoon Step 3: Have all the strenght of a raging fire Step 4: Be mysterious as the dark side of THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOON.
Men trying to be the man women want has been the root cause of most masculinity issues. Your character should never be shaped by others needs and wants. If you're going to be caring be caring cause that's who you are. If you want to be emotionless be that because that's who you are. Adjust and grow at your own accord.
Rayres I believe you took everything out of context to vent your rehearsed perspective. Which I really appreciate your perspective. However I don't disagree, I think what you said was what the video was saying to a degree and I loved the videos perspective. The media is a part and women aren't the reason. The issue is men buying into it. Men wanting to be what women want is the issue. That's why we have the "nice guys" who can't handle rejecting because of entitlement issues. The issue is not women wanting certain type of men(which is debatable) because if beautiful women desire let's say thugs then they play a part of enabling the culture. Moral of the story Women are not the issue here.
I see. Your initial discourse sounded like you were implying that this whole "cool man" concept was built solemnly because "that's what women want". In this case, I agree what you said, but I ALSO believe that the problem with "nice guys" is either a. they're self-proclaimed (aka they're NOT nice) b. they victimises trying to blame others for their mistakes (in this case, it's not "me" who is an asshole, but "her" that can't see what a sweet guy I am) and c. there's a toxic cyclic culture of trashing women (they just like shitty men, they're sluts) followed by victimization (I'm nice so they won't want me) which keeps repeating. And the worst part? It affects women (these stupid men will perceive women negatively), mean men (those idiots who perpetuate this lie just so they can feel better themselves) and weak or fragilized men (guys who don't know how to cope with feelings and are seduced by 'it's not me it's them' rhetoric). It's sad, really. Without this concept of "friendzone" and "nice guys" not only friendships could be more genuine but amorous relationship between inexperienced men + women too.
Rayres yup yup and yup. Agree with everything. But I will never negate the fact women have a huge influence on the build of a lot of men. Even a younger me who was told by women I was attracted to that real men weren't so emotional and so nice. Which led me to believe that I must act hard and tough. Wouldn't smile in mirrors or pictures cause it just was perceived to be soft. The opposite of what women wanted. But yes it's not a woman's fault it was definitely my ignorance, lack of self awareness and mental weakness to let someone decide what character I would be. Many men go through that though. But yeah we're on the same page.
unfortunately, what many would call 'warm' others would call derogatory such as 'wimps' or 'comic reliefs' or 'pushovers'. The video did well for trying, but I'd like to help by emphasizing the advantages warm men have over cool men: - warm men are more outgoing and easier to approach, compared to cool men's tense mystery - warm men can easier make their women feel loved and cared for, than with cool men's outward apathy - warm men exude energy and life, compared to cool's stoic nature - warm men appear more 'human', are easier to relate with, and can more easily inspire, than with cool men's invincible appearance - warm men look up, compared to cool men who look down Both types of males, warm or cool, have their merits, and I hope my comment has helped inspired those who are more naturally warm to be the best versions of themselves, not wear facades that don't express them at all.
Mr. Fabulous, the gardevoir the warm man is way too pathetic here and yes I know people who are perfectly described to be warm according to this video, and I gotta say its way too pathetic. Everything you said is correct but we don't live in times where we belong in one category. The cool guy in here is obsolete, too hardened by life, but then you have people like me who can write a book about life but chooses to let stuff go and because of experience I can relate to more people that way, my point is the true man according to my experiences has all these qualities and he uses them according to the person or situation at hand.
Mr. Fabulous, the gardevoir because thats what they are. if someone spills something on you you dont reward it with a big tip. If you do that you,re a wimp.
Warm men MAY be able to more easily make their woman feel cared and loved for...that is if anyone cares enough to date a warm man. I've been warm most of my life and didn't start getting noticed much by women until I started acting cooler. The only women who go after warm guys are the ones too insecure to be with cool guys
I think the key is not to think about this labels at all, just be relaxed, stick to thinking before doing, and not losing your shit over stressful situations.
This applies to all humans, but dammit I'm so bad at the last part! I know in those moments that I am losing my shit and that I can stop and do better, but I just WON'T STOP LOSING MY SHIT BRUH!!
@@melnjada2 In those moments it's the lizard brain taking control, making your brain scream DANGER. When that happens I try to remember that no matter what, the outcome is always better if my human brain takes control and manages the situation. Psychological risk management or "how not to freak out" is something that can be improved, if it couldn't then proffessions like military or pilot would not exist
0:54 "the essential characteristic of a cool man is an aura of invulnerability well-handled, without any showing off or bragging..." 3:36 "the essence of a warm man is vulnerability well-handled"
This channel is beyond words in which I can pour praises..... I just can say your team a very warm thanks for efforts for keeping many like me confident.
Thanks guys. You have no idea, how this coolness is poisoning my life, given I look and behave more or less “cool” and think, that everybody expects that from me. And its a catastrophe, when I mess it up (most often). I think so everytime. There is a long journey, to accept myself not as James Bond, but as a regular man. And to understand, that its ok, to be vulnerable. But this video came, as I am going through that. Thanks again
A man is passionate about his field of mastery in life. He has a simple, but grand vision for the future, and have designed the best step-by-step approach of how to get there, the plan might be flawed in different ways, but it is the best designed plan with the wisdom and resources he currently have. Then he simply gets up every morning with his integrated self-discipline and take the steps needed to reach his vision, without drama or need for approval along the path.
ohhh so youre making fun out of us right? bitch? lets have a silent Moment for the word women i mean look at it lolololololol i mean doesnt it look like a rip-off of the word man? pfff hahhahah
Better advice: 1. Be you. 2. Grow up (maturity-wise). 3. Do it honorably and honestly. Both of these extremes are outrageously ridiculous and unrealistic (especially in the phrasing). A "real" or "good" man is on the middle ground between both sides. He has empathy, but he's not a pussy either. He's independent, but not necessarily a dick. Too warm, and you're useless. Too cool, and you are literally "that guy" that nobody admires. One without the other will torture you. Trust me. I've been on both sides of the fence in my life.
These are not extremes. These are both absolute truths. I incorporated both into the essence of my character and what i found is that i became the most attractive person in any setting at all times people are practically gravitating to me and i became everyones friend and for no other reason.
"It is sad to have no friends. It is even sadder to have no enemies." You "incorporated both into the essence of your character?" So you are pretending. You are a fake. You don't incorporate these things son. Thy are either a part of you o they aren't.
Tony Gambino well i guess you're right about that. So maybe i misphrased the actual meaning what i wanted to convey. What i meant was i have found myself growing into them without me noticing. I just reached an understanding of people that made sympathize with them and vice versa. I don't have enemies not because i suck up to anyone or because i act in any way or form incongruently with my character but rather because ive found away to breach the wall of misunderstanding between me and others by putting myself in the shoes of those im talking to at any moment. In the end what i found is that people arent so different from you and I. We just pursue the same desires differently due to different beliefe sets. What pains us stem from those same desires basically but we give them different reasons than whats actually aching us. I don't have enemies because I learned how to deal with their pain and their beliefs in a way not to disrespect them while informing people about how to not disrespect me. And they listen because I don't give them reason to harm me as anyone else does. Enemies are nothing but two souls unable to communicate properly. The idea one would want to harm another is nothing more than misinterpretation. In reality no one cares about anything but their own happiness. And once you discover the key to happiness and piece of mind you start to notice how to help people get what they really need and want. Granted i've yet to discover the whole truth about the subject myself but somehow i managed to make an internal science and a philosophy about it that just works good enough for my needs and others for now.
Men become what they see women are attracted to. The same applies to what women see men are attracted to. In other words, if you want men to become WARMER men have to see women are attracted to men that are warm. Right now women are attracted to men That Are Cool, are Powerful, and are Wealthy so men strive to become those things.
People are attracted to what they're attracted to, it's a completely individual preference. To say otherwise would be akin to denying the momentous degree of complexity that exists in the world around us. The world is not black and white.
GrenadeJunkie Just because individual preferences exist doesn't mean there aren't larger trends we can accurately observe and use. It is generally true that women are attracted to wealth, success and confidence. The qualities of the "cool man" represent that. Just because it's neither 0 nor 100% doesn't mean it's not a valid observation. Talk about black and white thinking. "The world around us is too complex" is a useless truism in the context of studying a specific thing or making a particular observation. It's about as relevant as saying "we can never be absolutely certain."
Titus Orelius I think they are attracted to a modern uninformed view of what a cool man really is. The most powerful men are not fully cool as traits such as being affable and having good social skills are important in business and power. A truly cool man is wild and a true warm man is domesticated. A powerful is neither entirely but balanced.
This is exactly what I've always tried to explain to potential romantic/sex partners: cool men are utterly off-putting to me. I'm attracted to men who are confident enough in their masculinity to be able to be openly vulnerable. They're not easy to find.
Thats because if he is confident enough to do that, than he doesnt have too many of vulnerabilities to open up in the first place; he is a cool guy. Regular guys (the ones that are easy to find) are as insecure as you can get.
vulnerability is weakness. why do you have to see mens weaknesses? .the only thing you can do with that is use it against us when the relationship goes left. i see being vulnerable as putting a knife on my back that someone can push in whenever they see fit
Ability to understand the very nature of flaws in humans is more a strength than a weakness. It' seems like your perception of what characterizes real strength and integrity is warped.
maybe I misinterpreted what Freya Shipley meant by openly vulnerable. I just don't think its a good idea to trust anyone too much. I know people who have been ruined because they were sharing things that they should have kept to themselves.
You clearly have been paying attention to the wrong media, and you haven't been talking to many women. If you are interested, I can point you to a number of discussions of the problems of femininity, and its potential bad consequences for women and man alike. Or to more centered discussions about what femininity (or masculinity) should be, with interesting arguments on all sides.
No name is right. In current western society you are not allowed to criticize women as a group of Femininity without facing tremendous backlash. But it is perfectly fine to demonize men and masculinity all day. This is thanks in large part to Toxic Feminist as well is Conservative Traditionalism. This is why you frequently hear about how "Toxic" Masculinity is but NEVER here anything about femininity being Toxic or Negative at all. You hear people openly saying boys need to be taught not to rape but never hear the same said to girls. Same when it come to Violence. You hear "Never Hit A Girl" from a very young age repeated over and over again but how often do you hear "Never hit A boy"? Likely Never. This is the reality of our current sexist society that normalizes sexism against men by arguing sexism against men isn't even possible. Thanks Feminism.
No name is wrong, Titus (why not Aurelius?). It all depends who you talk to, and how open- or close-minded they are. Note that you are criticizing women as a group here and nothing happened. I have criticized women, men, and people as groups on different occasions, and I didn't see anybody react angrily to me -- as long as they hear me out. How about you? How comfortable are you with people who disagree with you?
That was indeed the traditional view in some (but by no means all) primitive cultures, but there is no reason to consider it as better than a view that says men, like women, have intrinsic value. The argument that women's existence has value in itself solely based on reproduction (which means, by the way, that women who couldn't reproduce were as 'valueless' as unproven men), while our modern sense of self worth needs something other than that. What once was is not what is, nor is there any reason for it to be inherently 'better' in any way than other ideas.
British Blue, I think she was in principle... agreeing with the idea of having exactly the discussion you're engaging in here. Maybe you didn't read her entire sentence: she said "we have no problem ABOUT HAVING A DISCUSSION", whereas you seem to have read "we have no problem" period. Doesn't it seem to you a little arrogant to ascribe to other people intentions or beliefs that they explicitly disavowed? How would you feel if she decided to tell you what you think or feel, and how much of "the problem" you are, without listening to what you are saying? But hey -- I am personally interested. In your opinion, feminism aside, what is femininity? What are women?
Loved the video! One thing I strive for is to create the persona of a cool man to acquaintances and the general public but prioritizing the vulnerability and openness of a warm man with intimate friends and family.
@@starstar5157 There's no point in chasing anything that has the right to its own self determination. The only things worth chasing are the things that if you do everything right you will get all the time. Women choose based on their own self interests not a mans so what sense does it make for a man to chase a women when it doesnt matter what he wants and she picks based on what she wants. Its much more worthwhile to chase dreams, goals etc. These things are impartial and available to whoever does what they need to achieve them. You can do all the "right" things to get a woman but at the end of the day none of that matters if she decides she wants something else. It's best when no one has to chase anyone. If being anything other than your natural self is not good enough then the other person is not worth it.
I clicked on this definitely expecting to be told to be more like the cool guy. I strive to be the warm guy through and through, so it’s nice to see some appreciation for our type.
As he was talking about the warm man, I identified with it a lot. 90% relatable I'd say. Initially though, I thought it was a bad thing, as if it were the opposite of cool (cool being good). It then became apparent that being warm, is the new cool. A pleasant surprise. Thanks youtube, have just confirmed that I am in-fact a man.
@@yugouzumaki996 Its quite understandable and im 19 btw, Today's men have low testosterone and idk why. It's the media and how they treat them. Honestly real men are build through pain and adapted them as lessons and which makes them alpha. I'm a guy with a high testosterone due to having big hands, Thick neck, athletic body, body hair, Big nose and also big pp (Yes it's some details like that that makes you have high testosterone)
@@bol4death i do have some of the details u mentioned , and lack some of them as well, im working out to build a body (im not overweight, and used to do sport my entire life but i never actually tried to build my body uk) so im working on that, but the thing that i want to really work on it is the ability to say no and be more confident (i don't understand why im confident around some people and complete silence machine around others)
@@yugouzumaki996 How to say no, You say this because you realize you are a man as well and they have to accept It even If they cry about it. Don't be ppl pleaser by saying yes and agreeing on everything on their topic. Do not lie to yourself and them, And don't matter how they feel afterwards to you when you say no because you are also made in flesh like them, There's no difference except personality. You must have your own ideals and personality and should not care what others say about you and be worried about that. You say no to let them know that who they treating and talking Is a person too like them not a robot or slave. In time you will overcome fear and say no bit by bit. It all takes time hopefully it helps. Also saying no will earn you respect that Is makes you noticeable for your actions
In my opinion both, the School of Life, and the people who disagree with the notion of warm-man being real are missing the point. Both cool and warm men are just idealisations of a set of values. You cannot justify either being greater to the other without actually comparing them to genuine human behaviour. Which brings me to my question - what is a fake man? There can be varying degrees of realnesses in people, and each person may handle themselves differently in different situations. What makes them real is not adhering to someone else's values (cool/warm/etc) but behaving in the way they believe is the best for them. Granted, it's equally difficult to be able to embody your own values, but the closer we get to exhibit those instead of some ideal notion perpetuated by media/self-help pundits, the better-off in the long term we should be.
Dude, everybody watching this video is here because their "real" selves aren't doing them well. It should be OK to admit that maybe right now your current personality, values, thoughts, and living situation aren't adding value to your life. It should be OK to fake it till you make it. It should not be okay to tell someone it's justifiable to live in a heap of trash as long as they do so genuinely and maybe also entertain us while they're at it. You are right on spot that it's awesome to be able to share your home's culture and values with other genuinely interesting people but what happens when maybe you weren't instilled with all the right tools to live like a successful person in your childhood? I would say start working on that, you have a long way before you're able to confidently come on to a genuine self-help video and flame out the losers that believe in it.
A Man Is... A man is not quick to anger He’s not one who’s quick to brawl If you see a man bullying others He’s not a man at all A man is not a quitter He’s not one to turn and run When the going gets rough, he gets tough He’ll remain till the job is done A man takes no satisfaction in seeing another fail He encourages all to try and to believe that they can prevail A man will never boast or brag or kick sand in your eye He’ll stand firm on his conviction with his head held to the sky A man will always lend a hand when he finds a friend in need His character and his integrity makes him a true friend indeed --Mychal Wynn
ian birchfield Yes, you hit the nail on the head. Men who are both exist on a higher plane and have very little competition. I am striving to be such a man and to balance my moral and amoral side.
I think it's possible to be both cool AND warm. Cool in that you cultivate your unify your profession, passion, and potential into your life's purpose, and that is a sheer booster of raw charisma. Warm in that you elevate those around you and demonstrate emotional awareness on par with your highest vocational skills (with luck, even unifying the two). I believe if one can be both cool and warm at the same time, they will be unstoppable.
4 steps to becoming a man. Step 1: Be as swift as a coursing river. Step 2: With all the force of a great typhoon. Step 3: With all the strength of a raging fire. Step 4: Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.
El Tio I think there is a difference between being warm and being a pajama boy mangina. I always laugh and my own foibles because I understand how fucking absurd and ridiculous the human condition is. I acknowledge that all humans are fundamentally broken and flawed creatures and that gives me empathy. I have both warm and cool traits. I am actually less of a pussy than some I know who claim to be super masculine cool types. I've seen macho guys scream like little girls over fucking spiders. Not THAT is pussy behavior.
the warm man is not the man that this society wants. Every and every time you got knocked on the floor and they say "yeah try harder next time", "dont give up". Yo I am out of this society. Sick of it
every time i watch one of this channels videos I think to my self " This is by far their greatest video" . Very pleasant to watch and clearly explained. I wish more people could see this. Keep it up you guys.
How to be a man will never mean trying to fit into a box. It doesn't matter if that box is called "cold man", "warm man", "red-pilled" and so on. Boxes limit growth. It takes courage to leave the predefined boxes to the side and venture into the undefined a bit. Each man has his own strengths and weaknesses, qualities and defects, moments of pure genius and moments of extraordinary stupidity. Being a man means working on your strengths to become useful for the ones around you and at the same time making sure the weaknesses don't mess up things too much. Being a man means keeping your word and creating trust. Being a man means building your character in the right way. Being a man means being an individual first, instead of trying to fit into a predefined box that is accepted at the moment and may or may not be accepted in the future. I wish you strength to become part of the best minority group that you can be part of. A group of one with you as the only member.
For years I have always wondered how to be a man since my father never taught me about it and I still wonder about it. Watching the video seems to me I am a warm man.
Amazing video, as always. Being a warm man though sucks, it gets you used and it is received as weakness by the opposite sex. The scenario described in the last part of the video is not only unrealistic but it also sets the tone for a man's life full of pain and heartbreak if taken seriously.
Ok. Gotta admit, I admired your "cool man", but, I felt deep appreciation for, and connection to your "warm man". I don't know what that means to feel what it is to be a man, but you've given me new things to think about. Kudos.
I wish you guys would write a book on this topic; personally as a young man without a positive male role model in my life. I think this would be invaluable to a lot of other boys & men especially to combat the rise of "alpha male," gurus like Tate & whatnot.
Problems with Cool man: You can be handsome, sexy and hardy. But those can be lost in a moment because those are materialistic things you're relying on. There you'll have to somehow rely on others to survive. He might act cool and not rely on others and die without his sexiness and strength. Problems with Warm man In a competitive enviroment which is the world itself, humilating himself would only give disadvantage. Think about if everyman was a warm man and there are limited amount of food and shelters. He can be generous and die. Or he can not to be warm man and be "cold man" to survive. The supposed generosity and humilation of self comes from having abundance of supply. This leads to the "Neutral man". He might be try to fit in the society. He might try to look cool. At times he can generous. But he won't be humilating himself or killing himself with terminologies "warm" and "Cool".
Munkhbayar Boldbat You just broke my mind with how spot on you are about me. I talk about my feelings and anxiety's a lot but I'm never afraid to be at the wrong end of a joke or admit when I screwed up. However academically and socially I come up short being nowhere near as competitive as everyone else, a lot of people like me (from my warm nature?) but not enough to take much notice. I come from a somewhat upper middle class family where I justify my kind and generous nature through a slight abundance to everyone else. However I am very self critical and suffer from a lack of both confidence and self esteem stemming from both my less than average successes or ability to make actual friends. Which ends in a feedback loop of self hatred which reduces motivation reducing ability to succeed which leads back into self hatred.
the sentiment was well enough, but they made it seem like there's a dichotomy in being effectively masculine: either "cool," or "warm." most masculine men are varying degrees of both. VERY few men are one or the other. School of Life doesn't normally send mixed messages, but they've outdone themselves this time…and that's NOT a good thing 😕
Finally someone points out what I was thinking, bravo. I also think their understanding of being masculine is a little twisted, at varying times a man might be called upon to be "cool" or "warm" and as such are better served by being both to some degree.
J. Renard TSOL did not state men are, were or should be one or the other. It discussed two kinds of 'ideals'. They could be considered two points on a scale (and not even the extreme points at that) which men gravitate towards according to their wishes and societal pressures growing up. So there will always be a mix of types, and men will never completely lose their coolness, no matter how warm the ideal is, am I right? Also, check different societies' ideals. In Thailand for example, a moong-ming (warm) type of male is comparatively more valued by women, and are accepted well by males too.
It's great having a free internet therapist
They could be an analyst as well, something like an... Analrapist
Potato Moustache Productions I know right,usually this advice would cost hundreds of dollars
lol
You may be lacking in warmth.
saves me bucketloads of money monthly
“The good man is the man who, no matter how morally unworthy he has been, is moving to become better." - John Dewey
Thanks, this helps me allot
Facts
Thank you. I was reminded of some of my past ways and though I feel I have an obligation to face what people have to say about my past misdeeds, it left me distraught and hating myself a little.
It was nice to read this before bed though.
Oh wow, for some reason your replies didn’t appear in my inbox. I had revisited this video to comment this...
A Man Is...
A man is not quick to anger
He’s not one who’s quick to brawl
If you see a man bullying others
He’s not a man at all
A man is not a quitter
He’s not one to turn and run
When the going gets rough, he gets tough
He’ll remain till the job is done
A man takes no satisfaction
in seeing another fail
He encourages all to try
and to believe that they can prevail
A man will never boast or brag
or kick sand in your eye
He’ll stand firm on his conviction
with his head held to the sky
A man will always lend a hand
when he finds a friend in need
His character and his integrity
makes him a true friend indeed
--Mychal Wynn
@Azo Zyten
I believe that this quote is stemmed more towards people whom of which have done some really bad things inside/outside of prison, and are trying to redeem themselves. To compare it to someone who commented genocide is something I don’t think is an applicable action regarding the quote.
“Being hurt makes you realize the importance of being kind, and being kind is not the same as being weak.” - Joe Rogan
Joe "I can say very profound stuff sometimes" Rogan
How To Be A Man?
Totally ignore females and focus on yourself 110%.
It doesn't always make you realise but it should.
@@incorectulpolitic ignore female what? female ants? female cats? female house sparrows?
Just don't be a simp 👌🏾👁👄👁
As a Highly Sensitive Man who has often felt condemned for being sensitive and kind, I thank you for the video. Much love and respect.
Another sensitive dude who enjoyed the video
@@OfftheChainz hi another sensitive dude
hey, are we all on the same elevator? 😂
@@1bathroom Perhaps we are, my friend. Perhaps we are.
HS men are more virile and make better lovers, well that’s the rumour I’m trying to throw out there!
"Temperature's rising babe"
Did you notice it was Hitler? LOL.
Lmao if anyone told me that while there's fire in the house I would automatically assume they're a psycopath
That's not all that's rising "Honey".
@@joeprimal2044 Dude, that's what I said!
Yoo😂
I can't support you financially , but i feel like i have a duty towards humanity to give you a like and a comment every time.
From Syria , thank you
Aw man. That's great !!!
you can support by watching the ads. lol
\
sar sar3ouf I guess Alain doesn’t need any financial support tbh. He is very well off. Thank you will do. Or some further ideas to work on.
Dude watching "How to be a man" when his country is getting bombed and all. What a legend
Thank you in the name of all humans! From Serbia, love.
You're a man if you know when to be cool and when to be warm.
Best answer!
Wrong. You're a man when u act ....
Great Analogy. Also, Women can be Hot and at the same time, Cold.
Ouf Nailed Cool Warm man...
@mato paz But are we not imperfect by nature? And a perfect balance is hard to define or measure.
“The essence of a real man is vulnerable well handled”
The trick is to be warm, but know when to act cool.
being everything at the same time always works
So... keep the balance within oneself?
Exactly!
Yes! balance is everything
Yes, precisely. I think men are better built to juggle both - i.e.- warm inside the home towards their families and cool(er) in their dealings with the outside world. Women in comparison have a harder time with this, perhaps due to their diminished ability to compartmentalize as efficiently as men generally can.
you must be swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon
Baba Bono, with all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moon 😂
Baba Bono 😂😂😂
Hilarious😂
I'm never gonna catch my breath
Disney's last pro-man anything was that song.
I burned my house down and lost my job as a result of this video. I wanted to be cool.
Lmfao
should have watched the whole video
😂😂😂😂
Temperature's rising!
Even if that's true, how did you get so confused about the video you did that, AND got more than 400 likes for it.
A cool man at times, a warm man at times, a stoic man always.
Nah, forget that stoicism all the time BS. Everybody has feelings and everyone needs to share them. It's just about finding the appropriate moments to do so. You can't be a warm man and be always stoic.
Being stoic all the time and repressing your feelings is what causes people to explode with violence and rage.
@@Starmast3rmusic You don't understand stoicism. You have a misconception, peddled by lazy ppl who haven't read anything. I can only conclude you are buying into the feminist narrative.
@@Starmast3rmusic
You are completely wrong
Stoicism is not based on denying or repressing emotions it is based on controlling them which is one of the most important elements of masculinity because you know when explosions and road rage happen when people are not in control of their emotions when they are not stoic
let me teach you something feelings change really really all the time a person who puts his feelings first and foremost is a person doomed to failure and is like a leaf in the wind waiting for his feelings to lead him through life like a pathetic and incompetent leaf
But when a person decides that his decisions, his principles, his tasks, and his goals are more important than his feelings, that's where he can achieve greatness, that's where he can reach his full potential, and that doesn't mean denying them or suppressing them, that means controlling them, and that's what exceptional people and successful people do.
Emotions can be treated like energy but you are the one who has to control and choose where this energy goes and this is reflected in stoicism and control of emotions
If I hate the way my body looks I can use that energy to feel depressed cry and complain about it or I can use that energy to go to the gym and work on my body if I feel angry I can use that anger to do something productive and I can use that energy to kill someone
Controlling your emotions and stoicism is one of the most important things. It gives you the option not to act impulsively due to the emotion (for example, anger to violence, sadness to laziness, etc., etc.) and it gives you the option to direct the emotion to a productive and positive place as opposed to a destructive and negative place
Great Quote thanks for sharing
@@TOPOWTOPI agree with what you said and it applies to women as well although I think women get a pass for a few more emotional days
What about the room temperature man?
Darth Vin "Wow, girls, look at that room temperature hunk a meat over there!". He is neither too hot nor too cold, he's...Lukewarm Man!
Darth Vin lmao
XD
And what would such lukewarm men be like?
Darth Vin the temperature is 29.7. quite hot right
"How to be a man" steps
1)Suffer
2)Struggle
3)Repeat 1 and 2
Like a duck gliding in water - cool above the surface but paddling furiously underneath
mrD66M well said
dammit, stop reminding me about point 1 and 2.
which I did for so long
How To Be A Man?
Totally ignore female and focus on yourself and Jesus/God 110%.
Be Guts-y ....... XD
Don't ever change the art style to these videos, it's priceless!
camokazi1313 but they change it all the time!
I could be wrong, but I get the strong sense that this is called or at least an adaptation of Dadaism
Norma I love that whole moving cardboard cutout look.
it's memful
PartiZAn18 This isn't anything remotely close to Dadaism.
How to be a man: just be yourself, respecting others, as every other human being.
Exactly, I've never labelled myself as I'm not manly or anything, just that i'm me. Other guys care so much about this, you can still be masculine and not base everything off some construct of a man
Don't be a pussy
@@ssssSTopmotion stop saying or you'll grow one
@بدون إسم yes
@بدون إسم be urself
A cool man also doesn't watch UA-cam videos on how to be cool.
Osuka M'balali hey i was curious
so what are you doing here? 😏
LOL
Νο, but surely a true man understands the purpose of this video, is aware of its statements and can recognize them... And someone who can be a bit successful too gets solutions to them.
This was very warm
The cool man always cracks open a cold one with the boys
AeR But the warm man makes sure all the boys have a cold one to crack
kyle jensen truly poetic
YASS
And they don't drink Banana Daiquiris or Cosmopolitans.
AeR a cool man is a man who can understand the concept of MGTOW IS FREEDOM
Can we appreciate the animation?
Yes
yyyup
Who says we don't?)
Very Terry Gilliam...love it!
No
Suffering can mold a man to be compassionate for others
Good point. Experience
Omg I saw you everywhere , mustache guy !
Hi dude! Nice to see you here too!
Like you know what being a man is like ,you spend all your day on UA-cam writing unoriginal comments and you also have an anime profile picture!!!
@@ssssSTopmotion being a man is a social construction , and anyone quite fit with the characteristics. So you're not a man either , and there's anything wrong with that. So stop attacking people idiot.
A 'Real' man is whatever he wants to be. Be that 'cool' 'warm' or even bloody tepid if he so chooses. He's anxious, he's overconfident, he's intelligent, he's a mindless brute. He loves sport yet he also can fathom what is entertaining about kicking a ball into a net. He loves computer games and also thinks they're just for children.
Men are 'real' men. And if you live your life by the standard of another man then only then would I venture to say you are not in fact a real man because you are not your own man.
this is like the realest shit anyone's ever said on youtube
I prefer a society that has standards. And since most of those standards are innate, all we really need to do is set realistic goals for our young men and build their confidence by allowing them to fail and learn instead of telling them they can be whatever they want, now sit down and shut up, have you had your ritalin?
Well said
Frederick Swan
Forcing people to be up to specific standarts isn't really an optimal idea, pal. Wouldn't be the first time guys have killed themselves because they couldn't live up to what society expected of them. Just let people be as best as they can.
The irony is that everything you said is technically a definition
There is a reason why I can't fully get behind a lot of TSoL videos. Most are flawed and give a slightly warped image of reality.
A "real" man if you would have to categorize one as such, would be an fully actualized person who has very defined values and a carefully craftet but dynamic worldview.
Real men have qualities of both types of men showcased here.
The reason "cool" men are attractive is because they appear to have a firm belief and a defined set of values.
The reason "warm" men are so likeable is because they are empathetic and caring.
Contradictory to all media that shits in your head regarding the image of a real male, being confident and relaxed does NOT in any way stand in conflict with being open, empathetic and loving.
What's important is that real men realize that fear is only as devastating as you let it become . And that since everybody struggles with life, being flawed doesn't mean you can't be confident and fully accepting of yourself as well as other people.
You accept your own flaws and those of others while naturally trying to better yourself which in turn benefits all those around you.
That's why both of these two initial types of "real" men are actually complete nonsense once you look deeper into it.
I suggest turning to the old philosophers for actually real guidance on manhood, or for any of these kind of subjects in fact. They indirectly already answered every question a human being could ever need to ask. With pretty much as much thought behind those answers as humanly possible.
underrated comment
Thanks for recognizing :)
Most people watching the video will never read my comment though, too far down.
This is a really good comment and there's a lot of value in a balanced view like this. Consciousness of shared vulnerability, if thought through, should ultimately lead to a kind of confidence.
I think TSoL probably chose to highlight the 'warm' side as a kind of activism. I feel our times are essentially narcissistic and competitive so foregrounding a compassionate realism is very worthwhile. And ultimately one cannot say everything that needs to be said in 4:32, so shifting the conversation positively has value as well.
This! This is it! I agree with every single word. I don't usually like comments but when I do I _really_ mean it.
I know that TSoL can be flawed, but the British accent keeps making me forget.
Sasuke: Cool Man. Naruto: Warm Man.
Todoroki: Literally both
J U C H E N Todoroki: My man.
@@mrhyd3790 Your opinion: personally disagreed with, but, nevertheless, respected
I'm 55 and through the years found that being manly, believe it or not, is never showing anger. When my wife or kids were angry, and ranting at me, I took the punches and showed compassion and interest in their grievances. Over time they saw me as the rock of the family. Unwavering, steadfast and yes a punching bag for their emotions if they need it.
Being angry means you have become emotional. THAT emotion is reserved for physically defending loved ones or yourself. Showing anger means you have lost control because anger is a secondary emotion to fear and frustration.
Don't be afraid. Don't lose control. Be the dependable rock. Be a man.
Truly lovely
Seems a one-way ticket to becoming an alcoholic imo
That is true of women too.
Thanks for sharing it 💪🏻
The calm and reserved man is also the best provider and, by far, the most violent and effective should he have to defend his family from harm.
the ideal man has strong principles but brave enough to admit he's wrong, open minded, kind, not afraid to show his vulnerability and most importantly, has washboard abs.
no fat chicks.
Fuck me did I laugh at the end hahahaaha
I've got most of those things, and even better then 6 pack abs, i've got a whole keg B-)
Fuck off with the vulnerability shit. Stocisim is ideal.
Haw haw
so basically its about sasuke and naruto
Wiraga Adi lol thought the same thing
Maybe Goku and Vegeta
Jotaro n josuke
Family Guy VS Bob's Burger
The cool man knew strength was necessary for peace. While the warm man knew love was necessary for peace.
2:54 Russian author Vsevolod Garshin. He wrote short stories about his pacifist believes, love of beauty and aversion to evil. The portrait seen at 2:54 was made by Ilia Efimovich Repin, a painter who he became friends with. Four years after this was painted Garshin committed suicide (just like his father and brother did). I can't put my finger on it but something fascinates me about Garshin.
Thank you for reading and your time :)
Another great video, don't ever change :)
The first thing i noticed about the picture was the eyes. They seem so expressive, and the first thing that went through my head when I saw the painting was: "He looks like he is in pain".
Thank you very much for the information.
Just found that audio books of his stories are available on UA-cam.
Could you imagine if there was a “how to be a woman”?
Stop! don't be a misogynist.
1. Be strong and powerful
2. Have a vejay
@@PineappledoesnotbelongonPizza2 well she got atleast to be able to cook...
they could honestly do something similar to what this video is, except touch on the importance of femininity
@@PineappledoesnotbelongonPizza2 🤣
I'm pretty sure, if you live the warm man long and good enough, then you will look on the outside pretty much like the cool man. I think so, because being "warm" the way you described it, you learn to cope with your problems and at some point you have defeated your anxiety and fears. You know how to handle things and simply stay cool. However nobody feels left cold in your presence, because you don't pretend to have anything under control, you actually have most things under control. Thus you can deal even with the problems of others and show that you care reassuringly. The warm man - really an ideal worth working towards.
I think I am a Luke warm man..
Joy De ayyyeee
Thats funny. I’m a warm man called Luke.
I'd say your more of a tepid man, or maybe an above room temperature man.
Luke I'm your father!
And I am very good bad boy, I am also a day dreamer and a night worker.
"A cold man is one who has lost his flame."
Junebugz There is a difference between being cold and being cool. Emotional numbness is emotional blindness, which results in miscommunication with one's own self and others. Emotional calm comes in recognising the emotions that rise, yet not being taken for a ride by them. This way, one has the perspective to act appropriately to it than simply being reactive to it. An individual who has made this as second nature to them may seem cold and distant, but their actions would command respect and speak wisdom than a thousand hollow words and reactions.
LuiKang043 Such wisdom, gosh I miss that in the people I meet
LuiKang043 Nice
No matter of age, race, religion and etc, this has got to be one of the wholesome youtubers I've ever seen.
In the future I'll get to say "I was warm before it was cool"
It made me tear up. Compassion is what the world needs.
The thing with the "cool" man is that being one is as unrealistic as the media that portraits it, we are all human and as so we are vulnerable.
I always found the ideo of the "cool" man, well, cool. But that should not stop us from being warm or trying to be.
The "cool" man is as cool as an action movie superhero, is an ideal only truly possible in full extent when it exist in fiction.
I’ve been watching a ton of SoL vids as I go through breaking up with my longest term gf and this might be the best one I’ve watched. It makes me feel seen and validated since I’ve never thought of myself as “Cool.” Thank you for these and please keep it up!
Lol I have literally been doing the same for over a month, loving it
I feel like a confident man only got that way through rejection. After a guy gets rejected by many girls he doesn't give a flip or react as much anymore. He basically looses himself because he couldn't win a certain girl over. He stops putting women on a pedestal. Then he works towards what he really wants, muscles, money, social life, and becomes successful. After this turning point women pursue him as he shows that he can support a family and has his own life together.
Why was he putting women on a pedestal in the first place? "To thine own self be true." Likewise, a woman shouldn't put a man at the center of her universe, either -- we should be our own suns, and then reach out to others only once we're alright with ourselves and ourselves alone. Anything else is a folly that will end in "if only I had _____ I'll be happy!" thinking, which ends poorly. External validation is never the way to become alright with our true judge -- ourselves.
The REALLY cool AND warm people know this. It's not about NOT caring about others -- it's about being TRULY fine with OURSELVES first and foremost.
Jessica F that sounds like Randian philosophy mixed with new age self-help dreck.
Mike k .... and then the new man is wise and remember how women treated him and what they are really after to and uses them as what they are heartless objects.
Very true. Although its not the only way, because some are born into this, but then again, very very true.
Luca Raimondo - I don't think mike k has so much enlightment as you do because his words were "he shows that he can support a family", so basically he kill himself trying to climb to the top just to have one of those dumb bitches that treat him like shit on top of himself.
Seems to me the ideal Man is a balance between the "warm" and "cool" man. There are times when the qualities of the "cool" man are advantageous, and vice versa at other times.
Since it's so hard to find a definition of what a cool or warm man is. I think you should just try to follow your own truth. As a women that's more attractive and that's what I do personally. The more you follow your emotions and don't deny them the more you're true to yourself.
@@thisisntallowed9560 But you are not your emotions. They aren't really a part of you. Following them won't get you anywhere, which of course doesn't automatically mean you can't experience and acknowledge having them in the first place.
Perhaps you just worded it weirdly, nonetheless this advice seems weak to me.
@@patrolmostwanted I would argue we are both our emotions and our thoughts. That's why clinical depression exist. I shouldn't have said ''follow your emotion'' so quickly, I think we should always listen to our emotions, and use our rational mind to decide how we will act on them.
Never listening to your emotion would leave you in a dark place I think. We know we are authentic when something ''feels right''.
Also even if you decide to ignore your emotions, you will still act on them unconciously, so it's better to be concious... I learned that the hard way because my mother isn't emotionally intelligent/mature.
@@TheNaishproductions-tn3yb Partially true but it goes a bit deeper than that. It's a part of you that gets annoyed by that person after all and it's you who lets those bad emotions run rampant inside your head. You can of course end the relationship but after doing so you should also do some thorough mental self-examination and try to come out of it as a better person, so that you will be more stable the next time when something similar happens.
"ok, i'll just be like that"
- my brain
"A real man is not necessarily the one who can take down another man physically but rather he is the one who remains calm and collected during hardships and has great patience"
-prophet Muhammad (PBUH)
💯
great one
you are describing Lord God Jesus Christ
Clint Eastwood.
TISQUESUSA Man I love Clint but he breaks the coolmeter.
He's got sunshine in a bag
The future?
Gorillaz reference?
what about Steve McQueen?
Step 1: Be swift as a coursing river
Step 2: Have all the force of a great typhoon
Step 3: Have all the strenght of a raging fire
Step 4: Be mysterious as the dark side of THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOON.
Me?
Haye Zette Oh, thank God, I thought for a sec there was a stalker or something.
Then again...is paranoia ever healthy? Was I a better man before I was dragged out of my so called normal behavior by a UA-cam stranger?
Had no idea there were so many folks that remembered Mulan about :D
TheGuyYouShouldListenTo Jr. best comments ever
Men trying to be the man women want has been the root cause of most masculinity issues. Your character should never be shaped by others needs and wants. If you're going to be caring be caring cause that's who you are. If you want to be emotionless be that because that's who you are. Adjust and grow at your own accord.
I agree !
Knightonagreyhorse definitely agree. Shallow people are the worse to be around in my experience.
Rayres I believe you took everything out of context to vent your rehearsed perspective. Which I really appreciate your perspective. However I don't disagree, I think what you said was what the video was saying to a degree and I loved the videos perspective. The media is a part and women aren't the reason. The issue is men buying into it. Men wanting to be what women want is the issue. That's why we have the "nice guys" who can't handle rejecting because of entitlement issues. The issue is not women wanting certain type of men(which is debatable) because if beautiful women desire let's say thugs then they play a part of enabling the culture. Moral of the story Women are not the issue here.
I see. Your initial discourse sounded like you were implying that this whole "cool man" concept was built solemnly because "that's what women want". In this case, I agree what you said, but I ALSO believe that the problem with "nice guys" is either a. they're self-proclaimed (aka they're NOT nice) b. they victimises trying to blame others for their mistakes (in this case, it's not "me" who is an asshole, but "her" that can't see what a sweet guy I am) and c. there's a toxic cyclic culture of trashing women (they just like shitty men, they're sluts) followed by victimization (I'm nice so they won't want me) which keeps repeating. And the worst part? It affects women (these stupid men will perceive women negatively), mean men (those idiots who perpetuate this lie just so they can feel better themselves) and weak or fragilized men (guys who don't know how to cope with feelings and are seduced by 'it's not me it's them' rhetoric). It's sad, really. Without this concept of "friendzone" and "nice guys" not only friendships could be more genuine but amorous relationship between inexperienced men + women too.
Rayres yup yup and yup. Agree with everything. But I will never negate the fact women have a huge influence on the build of a lot of men. Even a younger me who was told by women I was attracted to that real men weren't so emotional and so nice. Which led me to believe that I must act hard and tough. Wouldn't smile in mirrors or pictures cause it just was perceived to be soft. The opposite of what women wanted. But yes it's not a woman's fault it was definitely my ignorance, lack of self awareness and mental weakness to let someone decide what character I would be. Many men go through that though. But yeah we're on the same page.
"A warm man is humble with much gratitude."
- Sum Gai
the warm man is the cool man in the making. it's a psychological stage.
Marvi Rafael Montecillo Not really. It doesn't describe a shift as much as a number of personality traits.
BRo 100%
possibly
Martin Lazo Or grumpy
It's the other way around: the cool man is the warm man in the making IMo
unfortunately, what many would call 'warm' others would call derogatory such as 'wimps' or 'comic reliefs' or 'pushovers'. The video did well for trying, but I'd like to help by emphasizing the advantages warm men have over cool men:
- warm men are more outgoing and easier to approach, compared to cool men's tense mystery
- warm men can easier make their women feel loved and cared for, than with cool men's outward apathy
- warm men exude energy and life, compared to cool's stoic nature
- warm men appear more 'human', are easier to relate with, and can more easily inspire, than with cool men's invincible appearance
- warm men look up, compared to cool men who look down
Both types of males, warm or cool, have their merits, and I hope my comment has helped inspired those who are more naturally warm to be the best versions of themselves, not wear facades that don't express them at all.
Mr. Fabulous, the gardevoir the warm man is way too pathetic here and yes I know people who are perfectly described to be warm according to this video, and I gotta say its way too pathetic. Everything you said is correct but we don't live in times where we belong in one category. The cool guy in here is obsolete, too hardened by life, but then you have people like me who can write a book about life but chooses to let stuff go and because of experience I can relate to more people that way, my point is the true man according to my experiences has all these qualities and he uses them according to the person or situation at hand.
Mr. Fabulous, the gardevoir because thats what they are. if someone spills something on you you dont reward it with a big tip. If you do that you,re a wimp.
Well spoken
yea but the cool guy gets to fuck more
and thats really whats life about for a man from a biological perspective
Warm men MAY be able to more easily make their woman feel cared and loved for...that is if anyone cares enough to date a warm man. I've been warm most of my life and didn't start getting noticed much by women until I started acting cooler. The only women who go after warm guys are the ones too insecure to be with cool guys
this video is outdated, everyone is now trying to be a Chad
What is chad exactly ?
@@wecantcontroltime a walmart version of a badass basically
But ending up a simp
Chad is a beta. Men need to be Mode One.
Unfortunately being the Chad gets the girl
Daddy died when I was a kid, so I'm watching this now at 21.
I hope it's not late for me.
Its not... I'm 26 and also need help
I know a lot of incredible men who didn't have great father figures. You've got all the time in the world to become great yourself
I think the key is not to think about this labels at all, just be relaxed, stick to thinking before doing, and not losing your shit over stressful situations.
exactly.
Snap...
Preach
This applies to all humans, but dammit I'm so bad at the last part! I know in those moments that I am losing my shit and that I can stop and do better, but I just WON'T STOP LOSING MY SHIT BRUH!!
@@melnjada2 In those moments it's the lizard brain taking control, making your brain scream DANGER. When that happens I try to remember that no matter what, the outcome is always better if my human brain takes control and manages the situation. Psychological risk management or "how not to freak out" is something that can be improved, if it couldn't then proffessions like military or pilot would not exist
0:54 "the essential characteristic of a cool man is an aura of invulnerability well-handled, without any showing off or bragging..."
3:36 "the essence of a warm man is vulnerability well-handled"
This channel is beyond words in which I can pour praises..... I just can say your team a very warm thanks for efforts for keeping many like me confident.
Thanks guys. You have no idea, how this coolness is poisoning my life, given I look and behave more or less “cool” and think, that everybody expects that from me.
And its a catastrophe, when I mess it up (most often). I think so everytime.
There is a long journey, to accept myself not as James Bond, but as a regular man. And to understand, that its ok, to be vulnerable. But this video came, as I am going through that. Thanks again
WAS SHOCKED when the old version of Indonesian money popped out randomly at 3:12
it's cool tho! :D
Iya dong
you mean it's warm tho
A man is passionate about his field of mastery in life.
He has a simple, but grand vision for the future, and have designed the best step-by-step approach of how to get there, the plan might be flawed in different ways, but it is the best designed plan with the wisdom and resources he currently have.
Then he simply gets up every morning with his integrated self-discipline and take the steps needed to reach his vision, without drama or need for approval along the path.
Who are you kidding?
I guess that's a personal philosophy
everyone needs approval. that is just cool - man talk again. :)
Having a penis wouldn’t make you a real man! Pure toxic masculinity.
Mans not hot
Zzid I won't ruin the 69 likes
Merely lukewarm.
ohhh so youre making fun out of us right? bitch? lets have a silent Moment for the word women i mean look at it lolololololol i mean doesnt it look like a rip-off of the word man? pfff hahhahah
NEVER HUT!
Lmaooooo
Thank you. I literally cried, no one says this. It’s so so needed
Better advice:
1. Be you.
2. Grow up (maturity-wise).
3. Do it honorably and honestly.
Both of these extremes are outrageously ridiculous and unrealistic (especially in the phrasing).
A "real" or "good" man is on the middle ground between both sides.
He has empathy, but he's not a pussy either. He's independent, but not necessarily a dick.
Too warm, and you're useless. Too cool, and you are literally "that guy" that nobody admires.
One without the other will torture you. Trust me. I've been on both sides of the fence in my life.
Joseph Brand do what You know You have to do.
Best advice:
1. Crush your enemies.
2. Enslave the survivors.
3. Acquire currency.
That's how my great-great-grand daddy did it.
These are not extremes. These are both absolute truths. I incorporated both into the essence of my character and what i found is that i became the most attractive person in any setting at all times people are practically gravitating to me and i became everyones friend and for no other reason.
"It is sad to have no friends. It is even sadder to have no enemies." You "incorporated both into the essence of your character?" So you are pretending. You are a fake. You don't incorporate these things son. Thy are either a part of you o they aren't.
Tony Gambino well i guess you're right about that. So maybe i misphrased the actual meaning what i wanted to convey. What i meant was i have found myself growing into them without me noticing. I just reached an understanding of people that made sympathize with them and vice versa. I don't have enemies not because i suck up to anyone or because i act in any way or form incongruently with my character but rather because ive found away to breach the wall of misunderstanding between me and others by putting myself in the shoes of those im talking to at any moment. In the end what i found is that people arent so different from you and I. We just pursue the same desires differently due to different beliefe sets. What pains us stem from those same desires basically but we give them different reasons than whats actually aching us. I don't have enemies because I learned how to deal with their pain and their beliefs in a way not to disrespect them while informing people about how to not disrespect me. And they listen because I don't give them reason to harm me as anyone else does. Enemies are nothing but two souls unable to communicate properly. The idea one would want to harm another is nothing more than misinterpretation. In reality no one cares about anything but their own happiness. And once you discover the key to happiness and piece of mind you start to notice how to help people get what they really need and want. Granted i've yet to discover the whole truth about the subject myself but somehow i managed to make an internal science and a philosophy about it that just works good enough for my needs and others for now.
We actually have this exact definition of a "warm guy" in Cantonese (暖男), kudos to you
Men become what they see women are attracted to. The same applies to what women see men are attracted to. In other words, if you want men to become WARMER men have to see women are attracted to men that are warm. Right now women are attracted to men That Are Cool, are Powerful, and are Wealthy so men strive to become those things.
People are attracted to what they're attracted to, it's a completely individual preference. To say otherwise would be akin to denying the momentous degree of complexity that exists in the world around us.
The world is not black and white.
Titus Orelius It's not "right now." It's always been the case. Biology, evolution.
GrenadeJunkie Just because individual preferences exist doesn't mean there aren't larger trends we can accurately observe and use. It is generally true that women are attracted to wealth, success and confidence. The qualities of the "cool man" represent that. Just because it's neither 0 nor 100% doesn't mean it's not a valid observation. Talk about black and white thinking.
"The world around us is too complex" is a useless truism in the context of studying a specific thing or making a particular observation. It's about as relevant as saying "we can never be absolutely certain."
Titus Orelius I think they are attracted to a modern uninformed view of what a cool man really is. The most powerful men are not fully cool as traits such as being affable and having good social skills are important in business and power. A truly cool man is wild and a true warm man is domesticated. A powerful is neither entirely but balanced.
My favorite one so far. In tears...
A warm guy, deliberately yearning for becoming cool for years now. I. Just. Stopped.
This is exactly what I've always tried to explain to potential romantic/sex partners: cool men are utterly off-putting to me. I'm attracted to men who are confident enough in their masculinity to be able to be openly vulnerable. They're not easy to find.
Thats because if he is confident enough to do that, than he doesnt have too many of vulnerabilities to open up in the first place; he is a cool guy. Regular guys (the ones that are easy to find) are as insecure as you can get.
vulnerability is weakness. why do you have to see mens weaknesses? .the only thing you can do with that is use it against us when the relationship goes left. i see being vulnerable as putting a knife on my back that someone can push in whenever they see fit
Ability to understand the very nature of flaws in humans is more a strength than a weakness. It' seems like your perception of what characterizes real strength and integrity is warped.
maybe I misinterpreted what Freya Shipley meant by openly vulnerable. I just don't think its a good idea to trust anyone too much. I know people who have been ruined because they were sharing things that they should have kept to themselves.
This is exactly what she means. A man whose strong in vulnerability is a man whose strong in an area most men are weak in. It is rare.
Be a warm man and you will regret, Be a cold man and you will regret
This, gentlemen, is the essence of all philosophy.
Mago Tropical Be a balanced warm/cool man and inherit the earth.
Please do a "How to be a woman"!
You clearly have been paying attention to the wrong media, and you haven't been talking to many women. If you are interested, I can point you to a number of discussions of the problems of femininity, and its potential bad consequences for women and man alike. Or to more centered discussions about what femininity (or masculinity) should be, with interesting arguments on all sides.
No name is right. In current western society you are not allowed to criticize women as a group of Femininity without facing tremendous backlash. But it is perfectly fine to demonize men and masculinity all day. This is thanks in large part to Toxic Feminist as well is Conservative Traditionalism.
This is why you frequently hear about how "Toxic" Masculinity is but NEVER here anything about femininity being Toxic or Negative at all. You hear people openly saying boys need to be taught not to rape but never hear the same said to girls. Same when it come to Violence. You hear "Never Hit A Girl" from a very young age repeated over and over again but how often do you hear "Never hit A boy"? Likely Never. This is the reality of our current sexist society that normalizes sexism against men by arguing sexism against men isn't even possible. Thanks Feminism.
No name is wrong, Titus (why not Aurelius?). It all depends who you talk to, and how open- or close-minded they are. Note that you are criticizing women as a group here and nothing happened. I have criticized women, men, and people as groups on different occasions, and I didn't see anybody react angrily to me -- as long as they hear me out. How about you? How comfortable are you with people who disagree with you?
That was indeed the traditional view in some (but by no means all) primitive cultures, but there is no reason to consider it as better than a view that says men, like women, have intrinsic value. The argument that women's existence has value in itself solely based on reproduction (which means, by the way, that women who couldn't reproduce were as 'valueless' as unproven men), while our modern sense of self worth needs something other than that. What once was is not what is, nor is there any reason for it to be inherently 'better' in any way than other ideas.
British Blue, I think she was in principle... agreeing with the idea of having exactly the discussion you're engaging in here. Maybe you didn't read her entire sentence: she said "we have no problem ABOUT HAVING A DISCUSSION", whereas you seem to have read "we have no problem" period.
Doesn't it seem to you a little arrogant to ascribe to other people intentions or beliefs that they explicitly disavowed? How would you feel if she decided to tell you what you think or feel, and how much of "the problem" you are, without listening to what you are saying?
But hey -- I am personally interested. In your opinion, feminism aside, what is femininity? What are women?
I found out that i'm a warm man, now i need to be a cool man.
Loved the video! One thing I strive for is to create the persona of a cool man to acquaintances and the general public but prioritizing the vulnerability and openness of a warm man with intimate friends and family.
"We must be swift like a coursing river"
With all the strength of the raging fire.
With all the force of a great typhoon
As mysterious as the dark side of the moon
I love the narrators voice
I'm a woman but i feel like i need to see this. To understand men better and maybe even my masculine side.
A real man doesn't chase after women, he chases after his dreams that way a women will chase after him
Exactly
But he still subconsciously chasing women
Wtf what? Is that how men are thinking nowadays? No wonder women are so angry. This world is fucked really
@@starstar5157 There's no point in chasing anything that has the right to its own self determination. The only things worth chasing are the things that if you do everything right you will get all the time. Women choose based on their own self interests not a mans so what sense does it make for a man to chase a women when it doesnt matter what he wants and she picks based on what she wants. Its much more worthwhile to chase dreams, goals etc. These things are impartial and available to whoever does what they need to achieve them. You can do all the "right" things to get a woman but at the end of the day none of that matters if she decides she wants something else. It's best when no one has to chase anyone. If being anything other than your natural self is not good enough then the other person is not worth it.
I clicked on this definitely expecting to be told to be more like the cool guy. I strive to be the warm guy through and through, so it’s nice to see some appreciation for our type.
As he was talking about the warm man, I identified with it a lot. 90% relatable I'd say.
Initially though, I thought it was a bad thing, as if it were the opposite of cool (cool being good).
It then became apparent that being warm, is the new cool. A pleasant surprise.
Thanks youtube, have just confirmed that I am in-fact a man.
I am so close to be the warm man. Just the little gigantic step of not being overwhelmed by my anxiety left
UA-cam: "how to be a man"
1.8 million men: oooh lemme check that out
I just hope more soft men watch It and man up
@@bol4death i hope i could man up :') (im 18)
@@yugouzumaki996 Its quite understandable and im 19 btw, Today's men have low testosterone and idk why. It's the media and how they treat them. Honestly real men are build through pain and adapted them as lessons and which makes them alpha. I'm a guy with a high testosterone due to having big hands, Thick neck, athletic body, body hair, Big nose and also big pp (Yes it's some details like that that makes you have high testosterone)
@@bol4death i do have some of the details u mentioned , and lack some of them as well, im working out to build a body (im not overweight, and used to do sport my entire life but i never actually tried to build my body uk) so im working on that, but the thing that i want to really work on it is the ability to say no and be more confident (i don't understand why im confident around some people and complete silence machine around others)
@@yugouzumaki996 How to say no, You say this because you realize you are a man as well and they have to accept It even If they cry about it. Don't be ppl pleaser by saying yes and agreeing on everything on their topic. Do not lie to yourself and them, And don't matter how they feel afterwards to you when you say no because you are also made in flesh like them, There's no difference except personality. You must have your own ideals and personality and should not care what others say about you and be worried about that. You say no to let them know that who they treating and talking Is a person too like them not a robot or slave. In time you will overcome fear and say no bit by bit. It all takes time hopefully it helps. Also saying no will earn you respect that Is makes you noticeable for your actions
In my opinion both, the School of Life, and the people who disagree with the notion of warm-man being real are missing the point.
Both cool and warm men are just idealisations of a set of values. You cannot justify either being greater to the other without actually comparing them to genuine human behaviour. Which brings me to my question - what is a fake man? There can be varying degrees of realnesses in people, and each person may handle themselves differently in different situations. What makes them real is not adhering to someone else's values (cool/warm/etc) but behaving in the way they believe is the best for them. Granted, it's equally difficult to be able to embody your own values, but the closer we get to exhibit those instead of some ideal notion perpetuated by media/self-help pundits, the better-off in the long term we should be.
Just be authentic and your true self it's easier and effortless
behaving in the way they believe is the best for them _AND those around_
Dude, everybody watching this video is here because their "real" selves aren't doing them well. It should be OK to admit that maybe right now your current personality, values, thoughts, and living situation aren't adding value to your life. It should be OK to fake it till you make it. It should not be okay to tell someone it's justifiable to live in a heap of trash as long as they do so genuinely and maybe also entertain us while they're at it. You are right on spot that it's awesome to be able to share your home's culture and values with other genuinely interesting people but what happens when maybe you weren't instilled with all the right tools to live like a successful person in your childhood? I would say start working on that, you have a long way before you're able to confidently come on to a genuine self-help video and flame out the losers that believe in it.
@@skimmilkm thankyou for this
A Man Is...
A man is not quick to anger
He’s not one who’s quick to brawl
If you see a man bullying others
He’s not a man at all
A man is not a quitter
He’s not one to turn and run
When the going gets rough, he gets tough
He’ll remain till the job is done
A man takes no satisfaction
in seeing another fail
He encourages all to try
and to believe that they can prevail
A man will never boast or brag
or kick sand in your eye
He’ll stand firm on his conviction
with his head held to the sky
A man will always lend a hand
when he finds a friend in need
His character and his integrity
makes him a true friend indeed
--Mychal Wynn
thanks for showing this and putting hope. i was doubting myself as a man that im not cool enough.. i am very warm. and this i can say proudly :)
Being warm just makes things so much easier and enjoyable for everyone involved! I can't explain why society chose to propagate the cool prototype
why not both?
*applause*
ian birchfield Because when cold and warmth colide you get a storm.
Warm air rises and cool air sinks. Put 'em together and you're goin' no where
ian birchfield Yes, you hit the nail on the head. Men who are both exist on a higher plane and have very little competition. I am striving to be such a man and to balance my moral and amoral side.
ToniHimself Agreed. People are attracted to storms. They are dangerous and frightening but regal and majestic at the same time.
I think it's possible to be both cool AND warm. Cool in that you cultivate your unify your profession, passion, and potential into your life's purpose, and that is a sheer booster of raw charisma. Warm in that you elevate those around you and demonstrate emotional awareness on par with your highest vocational skills (with luck, even unifying the two). I believe if one can be both cool and warm at the same time, they will be unstoppable.
4 steps to becoming a man.
Step 1: Be as swift as a coursing river.
Step 2: With all the force of a great typhoon.
Step 3: With all the strength of a raging fire.
Step 4: Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.
3:11 that's Indonesian money, as an Indonesian, thank you for the inclusivity, we feel honored to be included in this amazing body of work
the warm man needs to chill out
mans not hot
oh winz 😂
El Tio I think there is a difference between being warm and being a pajama boy mangina. I always laugh and my own foibles because I understand how fucking absurd and ridiculous the human condition is. I acknowledge that all humans are fundamentally broken and flawed creatures and that gives me empathy. I have both warm and cool traits. I am actually less of a pussy than some I know who claim to be super masculine cool types. I've seen macho guys scream like little girls over fucking spiders. Not THAT is pussy behavior.
@ChaoticEvilCanary this is truth
The cool man needs to warm up.
the warm man is not the man that this society wants. Every and every time you got knocked on the floor and they say "yeah try harder next time", "dont give up". Yo I am out of this society. Sick of it
Every time they say try harder just to suck out your life force.
Every time they say try harder just to suck out your life force.
Be cool or be warm, in the end all you can be is yourself.
I think the guy voicing these must be the kindest most loving father husband and friend any one could have.
every time i watch one of this channels videos I think to my self " This is by far their greatest video" . Very pleasant to watch and clearly explained. I wish more people could see this. Keep it up you guys.
The name is Warm... Luke Warm. Licensed to do as little as possible. Double ohhhh. (Yawn)
I actually yawned wtf
Beatrice T hey 🤨
🤣
wtf dude
How to be a man will never mean trying to fit into a box. It doesn't matter if that box is called "cold man", "warm man", "red-pilled" and so on. Boxes limit growth. It takes courage to leave the predefined boxes to the side and venture into the undefined a bit. Each man has his own strengths and weaknesses, qualities and defects, moments of pure genius and moments of extraordinary stupidity.
Being a man means working on your strengths to become useful for the ones around you and at the same time making sure the weaknesses don't mess up things too much. Being a man means keeping your word and creating trust. Being a man means building your character in the right way.
Being a man means being an individual first, instead of trying to fit into a predefined box that is accepted at the moment and may or may not be accepted in the future.
I wish you strength to become part of the best minority group that you can be part of. A group of one with you as the only member.
very wise.
The warm man is the lonely man, because too often warmth is mistaken for being “nice”
For years I have always wondered how to be a man since my father never taught me about it and I still wonder about it.
Watching the video seems to me I am a warm man.
(House is on fire):
TeMpEraRure iS RisInG bAbE
Amazing video, as always.
Being a warm man though sucks, it gets you used and it is received as weakness by the opposite sex. The scenario described in the last part of the video is not only unrealistic but it also sets the tone for a man's life full of pain and heartbreak if taken seriously.
Ok. Gotta admit, I admired your "cool man", but, I felt deep appreciation for, and connection to your "warm man". I don't know what that means to feel what it is to be a man, but you've given me new things to think about. Kudos.
Dont be cool
Dont be warm
be BOTH
"you cool bro?", "Yes I'm warm"
This video literally gave me the label for my personality that I've been looking for
I wish you guys would write a book on this topic; personally as a young man without a positive male role model in my life. I think this would be invaluable to a lot of other boys & men especially to combat the rise of "alpha male," gurus like Tate & whatnot.
You left out Ron Swanson, the coolest of men.
Clark Gable
Problems with Cool man: You can be handsome, sexy and hardy. But those can be lost in a moment because those are materialistic things you're relying on. There you'll have to somehow rely on others to survive. He might act cool and not rely on others and die without his sexiness and strength.
Problems with Warm man In a competitive enviroment which is the world itself, humilating himself would only give disadvantage. Think about if everyman was a warm man and there are limited amount of food and shelters. He can be generous and die. Or he can not to be warm man and be "cold man" to survive. The supposed generosity and humilation of self comes from having abundance of supply.
This leads to the "Neutral man". He might be try to fit in the society. He might try to look cool. At times he can generous. But he won't be humilating himself or killing himself with terminologies "warm" and "Cool".
Munkhbayar Boldbat spoke my mind
Munkhbayar Boldbat You just broke my mind with how spot on you are about me. I talk about my feelings and anxiety's a lot but I'm never afraid to be at the wrong end of a joke or admit when I screwed up. However academically and socially I come up short being nowhere near as competitive as everyone else, a lot of people like me (from my warm nature?) but not enough to take much notice. I come from a somewhat upper middle class family where I justify my kind and generous nature through a slight abundance to everyone else. However I am very self critical and suffer from a lack of both confidence and self esteem stemming from both my less than average successes or ability to make actual friends. Which ends in a feedback loop of self hatred which reduces motivation reducing ability to succeed which leads back into self hatred.
Munkhbayar Boldbat We are moving into an age when the warm/cool man will dominate and thrive.
the sentiment was well enough, but they made it seem like there's a dichotomy in being effectively masculine: either "cool," or "warm." most masculine men are varying degrees of both. VERY few men are one or the other. School of Life doesn't normally send mixed messages, but they've outdone themselves this time…and that's NOT a good thing 😕
Finally someone points out what I was thinking, bravo. I also think their understanding of being masculine is a little twisted, at varying times a man might be called upon to be "cool" or "warm" and as such are better served by being both to some degree.
J. Renard TSOL did not state men are, were or should be one or the other. It discussed two kinds of 'ideals'. They could be considered two points on a scale (and not even the extreme points at that) which men gravitate towards according to their wishes and societal pressures growing up. So there will always be a mix of types, and men will never completely lose their coolness, no matter how warm the ideal is, am I right?
Also, check different societies' ideals. In Thailand for example, a moong-ming (warm) type of male is comparatively more valued by women, and are accepted well by males too.
"One day people will want to be warm"
*closes book*
Like that's ever gonna happen..
Exactly
We can hope though. LOL! I made my own video about being a man on my channel. I welcome you to check it out and let me know what you think.