Celebrity Pastor Fantasy Draft - John Crist
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- Опубліковано 21 сер 2024
- "I'll take Joel Osteen at #1!" John Crist and friends host a Celebrity Pastor Fantasy Draft. See who gets drafted as John Crist, Aaron Chewning, Tripp Cosby and Andrew Stanley chose their favorite pastors by the stats!
John Crist is a standup comedian. For more videos, bio and live tour dates, visit www.johncristco...
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The amount of work that went into this is unimaginable.
You mean printing 24 headshots? I know
Agreed! The script is incredibly witty
Plus they have to research the stats
7Annamallover7 seriously!
@@Themoment888 which aton of people do every single week for whatever sport fantasy league they play. Lol I think the whole point of this parody is exactly what you said .."the work we put into some activities...think if we put that sort of effort into something that feeds are soul or our families'..hmm maybe that's not what they are saying but it's what im saying. If I put that much effort into improving any part of AspenAllen -my interactions with others, my physical body, my mental capabilities, hand eye coordination even, ya know, improving muscle tone or detoxing my body, patience, family relationships, my relationship with the Holy Spirit or quieting my mind to hear only what I'm supposed to hear for my greater good and what God wants me to hear to help others literally ANY thing I am, or say, or do...well I have to believe it would be a prettier picture.
Favorite line: "The Non Denomination Domination!"
lol That is a great team name.
Andrea H. Say that 10 times fast! Lol!
My favorite is "SHOW ME THE TIETH MONEY"
@@kmills2902 omg I tried it lol nearly bit my tongue😄😄😄😄
I like 1 and 10%
😂
“He’s about to raise $54 million for his private jet” I’m dead hahahahah
And also funding and Christian airline and training pilots . Jessie is the real deal. And Kevin Zadai
@carol lady Right! Not a single Christian Pastor on the board lol 😂. Hope that was part of the joke
@@rdd7919yes, I agree. False teachers only on this one
@@FeetintheGrass Beth Moore is a false teacher? That's the first time I've heard that.
The joke with the black pastors, I laughed so hard. He confused John Gray and TD Jakes. 😂😂😂😂
truediva18 me too! 🤣
truediva18 i know! I was dying!
🤣🤣🤣
🤣😂😭
"Tim Tebow is not a pastor."
"....he is to me..." 😆😆😆
If Tim Tebow is available then I would choose Sadie Robertson for a pick. She always brings it when she preaches
E.E. 🤣🤣
😂
He is to me! Lol
I’d take Phil Robertson haha
I like how he's low key exposing them
Lady Zioness except Francis chan, the only truthful on the bunch but that's why Francis wasn't really that important. People rather hear the prosperity pastors over the true ones.
andr123406 What's wrong with prosperous pastors? God said that the wealth of the wicked is stored up for the righteous. Where in the Bible does it say that Christians have to be poor?
No he's not. He has a video on UA-cam supporting these heretics.
If you are god’s chosen you should be blessed. But he won’t bless you, if you don’t know what you have in Christ. Poverty is not an opinion. Health is issues is not an option. Enjoy a sad life if you think god wants you to prosper. You can be prosperous and have a hard life. Bet on it. We are fighting a war here.
@@dietsch4633 David Dietsch The Bible says that the wealth of the wicked is stored up for the righteous. Are you calling God a liar? Are you questioning His Word? God made all of this. God owns all of this. He could speak and his words would come to pass on Earth being as it's his will. Or have you forgotten how to pray? "Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven."
What about "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they will be filled." You're telling me that God wants those pastors to simply turn people away because they might grow in such a number that their tithes could build a bigger church and pay the Pastor's salary AND God forbid these Pastors get anything other than coach seats and a half-dead hoopty to go minister. If Christians are supposed to suffer in Earth is poverty, why even accept a blessing? If God wanted us poor, He would not have told Christ to tell us about mansions and streets of gold. Philippians 4:19 tells us all that God will supply all our needs according to His riches and glory. Some of Jesus' last words were commandments to go into the world and preach. You can't feed the bread of Christ if your church isn't making bread to grow and be prosperous.
“When your pastor is on bye week, always start your youth pastor but expect way less production” 😂😂
As a former youth minister, that part cracked me up.
You are a cute potato. Friends? 🙂
This was LEGENDARY lol
yo homeless how you doing man?
Bro I love your random crap siege videos! Didn’t expect to see you here tho
lol didn't expect to see you here
Furtick:Highest applause break per sermon of every white pastor😂😂😂I can't
Wahahhahahahahah 😂
U CAN do all things through Christ who gives you strength
The FACTSSSSSS 😂😂😂😂😂😂
I was laughing so hard throughout this entire video! Lol.😁
He always comes to the season in great shape! HALLELUJER!!
This is the niche content I signed up for.
Alastair Heinrichs exactly
Here here!!
As a pastors kid... all of these are absolutely HILARIOUS 😂😂😂😂my dad has been laughing at every video!! These are wonderful 🤗
I'm a pastor. I think this will always be one of my favorite bits, no matter what! Everything is spot on!
John you are literally a comedy genius and you wit and intelligence is something to marvel at
"Francis Chan's racial ambiguity." 😂😂😂😂
Poking fun at the absurdity of what the world espouses in the best way!
You could have just named this video "The Wall of Heresy."
"Pope Francis? He's Catholic do they count?" I have actually heard people say this. Too funny!
It’s hilarious but I was so confused😂
Definitely funny as a joke, but it makes me sad that it's such a common opinion.
Having disagreements over doctrine is one thing, but you can't just decide that an entire group of people aren't Christian- only God can make that call.
I still laughed though.
HAH
It is funny but really sad since the church can literally date back to the time of Christ. I pray one day we will be united once more as one body!
If you don’t believe in salvation by faith in Jesus alone then you are not a Christian.
Half the comments say the video is funny.
Half the comments talk about the apostasy of the church.
Maybe that was the point.
Indeed
Open our eyes Lord
Yeah but he included two who are not apostates. Chan and Keller are not like the others. We might not agree with every detail but they are not false teachers.
Andy Stanley is not a false teacher either. :)
lucy Nunnery I’m not familiar with all of them up there, but Chan has said publicly on two separate occasions that he loves Mike Bickle, even after admitting to being warned of him.
@@brettdavis5555 I dont know who Mike Bikle is, but did he say he loves him as a person or as a preacher. I know Chan has admitted to repenting of many things he taught as a pastor and he also admitted to "doing church" in an antibiblical manner. Im not a huge fan or anything. I am just trying to be merciful with a man who has publicly repented of shepherding incorrectly. IDK we are all in a process of sanctification. I am just happy my process is not on youtube lol
*dramatic pause*
“SELENA” 😂
someone explain this please?
😂😂😂😂
David Lee they're talking about selena gomez
bubblelover343 yes, selena gomez attends hillsong
@@bubblelover343 that's Selena quintanilla but shes not alive so he wouldn't have her number
“Osteen, theTom Brady of Pastors” lol...
Wow, this is sad. That we are so much more a celebrity church culture, rather than glorifying Christ. All his videos are funny but man, do they point out the stuff we need to work on as a Body.
Amen to that.
Amen
his entire point, i believe. And he's good at it.
Not that anyone asked my opinion, but I am an Orthodox Jew and still find his stuff hysterically funny (until he gets into his New Testament stuff... then I am lost! 🤷♀️) No judgements here! A lot of the pastor stuff is similar to the jokes we would make about the Rabbi, of the kids groups during services, JDate, even his "If Bible characters had iPhones" makes me laugh! People are people--doesn't matter why we are congregating, the outcome is still the same as human behavior is always very similar!
@@skontheroad I saw your comment about getting lost on the new testament content and I was just curious (since you said you were orthodox I thought maybe you would consider the following thoughts) about all the old testament passages saing things like the LORD not sharing his glory with another, everyone who offered strange fire or simply laid a hand on the ark to steady it from falling, blood sacrifice for sin offerings looking forward to the day when the kingdom of God finally gets set up for real exactly how was Jesus able to claim all he did and then absolutely silence from heaven (except for his baptism from John the Baptist) remember the serpant on the pole in the wilderness looking at it to be healed all pictures and symbols of things written in the new testament shedding of his blood on the cross for the ultimate final payment of sins just something to really consider everyone else always said one day or a day will come or just a servant of the most high delivering a message from the LORD Jesus said "I Am"
“It’s catholic do they count? No they don’t count” 😂😂😂
Not unless you are taking some Bishop's underaged assaults.
Nope
The OG celeb pastor
Given the lack of sound theology on the board, I'd say why not...
Nope. They don’t count unless they are charismatic Catholics
“Show me the tithe money”
Oh my gosh 🙈!
Caden Taylor it’s “SHOW ME THE TIES MONEY” like Ties and Offering.
It’s spelled “Tithe” lol
Even Joel Osteen would know that haaa!
Too bad it fits with all those multimillionaire pastors up there.
@@eansudholtz6533 Please be kidding, please be kidding....lol
As a youth pastor, that last line got me for sure! 😂
People are entitled to their opinion but it really brings a downer to the fun when we get too serious about the material in the comment section. Comedy is about exaggeration. Exaggerating something in our everyday lives and being able to laugh at ourselves. Christians can get far too serious, gloomy and even nasty about things that are important but not THAT important. This is why I love John Crist. Through comedy he brings these issues back down to reality and gives us some of God's joy along with it.
Rachel A. Well said
Rachel A. you are so wrong!! Do you think this is God's joy? Do you think God feels joy to see His wife (the church) rejecting His Holy Spirit and inviting Satan to their congregations? Do you think is God's joy to see people living in deception like this? I'm going to tell you, Jesus took people's souls very seriously. You don't know God's heart at all. Your comment only shows how you need to meet and know the one true living God. Hope you find it before is too late.
Yessy Quiles It’s a comedy. It’s a exaggeration.
Yessy Quiles where do you see a rejecting of the spirit and inviting satan?
Ok....
This is one of the most original sketches I've ever seen on UA-cam. So well thought out. So funny. Soooo accurate. Just great content John. 👌🏾👌🏾
My first draft pick would be Charles Stanley. Loads of experience.
Amen! That’s my pastor.
Lol that's his Grandson Andrew, they also had his son Andy on the board.
"I went to online campuses and I couldn't find a single parking space." 😂😂
He said “all 9 campuses”
@@StasiaAleen They both work actually LOL (but yeah it was all 9)
ROFL
This is every southern church meeting I’ve been to.
squirtle turtal why
@@ailyme189 lol 😂😭😭😭
@squirtle turtal wtf you on m8? Ya creep.
So, you've never been to any Southern church meetings then?
Stephanie Parke Total creep. Probably a stalker too.
"Blessings to all of ya on your picks, we do the first-shall-be-last system"
"You're gonna have like the whole Methodist line-up right there."
"I'm an ally."
Yes! Lol
I love how it’s not REALLY offensive. Like this is quality comedy😂
Walking a tightrope
Do this for celebrity worship leaders... please please please... I am going to lololollllll
that would be amazing!
Nathalie Rabearijao Brooke Fraser is my pick
Brooke would win
Right
I pick Taia Smith from Hillsong
Joseph Prince's hair LOLOLOL this is absolute genius 😂😂
@scottbaino I'm sure he doesn't wear a wig.
Isn’t he that bozo who’s deposition is so popular right now?
@@kellyalves756 way to sound like Jesus much
The fact that I knew all these names and have watched their sermons 😂😂. Oh myyyyzzzz. The TD jakes part broke me!
After reading these comments I have to say: I am so glad I don’t belong to a church where we have to worry about choosing a pastor we like or that we believe in. Having lay ministers chosen by the Spirit to serve the congregation seems like a great way to avoid the pitfalls everyone is complaining about here.
So how do you choose the pastors?
“Chosen by the spirit”
Right on time for the Nike commercial there team 'Take a Knee'
I had the Nike commercial too... 😂
I'll take the knee, the Nike commercial AND Beth Moore's twitter. (Yep, fiyah!)
Had to like your comment to make it 667. Lawd have mercy. Lol
Osteen gave up preaching long ago. He's basically a motivational speaker. He won't even say the word 'sin'; doesn't preach the full gospel. I'd pick Tebow over Osteen any day.
I've actually heard him say it before, I got to give credit where it's due lol
Yea he doesnt consider himself a pastor but a televangilist. I'm thinking maybe of how Christians are depicted now these days that he wouldn't want his title to be pastor
Is he supposed to preach sin? What verse is that. Maybe that's why all these other churches are so small (and jealous of the big boys) because Jesus said He would remove their candle stick (influence) Rev 2:5
Maybe we should all pay some attention to what these pastors are saying and line it up with scripture. Preaching SIN is not the Gospel. Grace is the Gospel (Galatians 1:6) and that is what we are told to preach. Not sin.
Rand Sollie Yeah but the whole point of the gospel is to give us hope DESPITE our sin. If we don’t preach sin then the gospel means nothing
Nothing like his father, Sad :(
*He’s the Tom Brady of Pastors...I’m dead, but also alive in God*
*Amen*
Trendy Looper 😂😂
Amen and well done 👏👏👏
Brady is better at what he does than Osteen.
I’d love to hear the mentioned pastors’ takes on this video 😂
"Red zone?"
"Christmas and Easter"
"He's Catholic. Do they count?" LOL
The Red Zone... Christmas and Easter.. 😂😂
As a Catholic I found this hilarious and I love John Crist
As a Protestant, I say hello and Christ be with you
I think it's fair to add Fr. Mike Schmitz in here now
Mary cant save you, its also idolatry. Only Jesus, mary cant hear you and the pope cant forgive sins only Jesus can.
@@repent.sinner It's true, but a lot of them don't put that much weight on Mary, the apostles, and the Pope thankfully. I like Michael Knowles Catholic theology a good bit.
@@repent.sinnertell Jesus you hate his mother. We’ll buy the popcorn. 😂
The mix up of John gray and jakes was hella shady 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
)
I agree - not cool
That's the joke people. Good Lord why are we so soft?
"First and 10%" 😂😂
My face and heart froze when John was choosing T.D. Jake's for John Grey.😱 NOT ALL BLACK PPL LOOK ALIKE!!!! 😆😂 I'm sure he did that on purpose though, it just didn't sink in at the moment LoL Love you John!!!😘
those guys actually look pretty similar.
@@danielroy8232 shame shame shame...
Jk
Ikr! I did the same thing. I know John means no harm though. He's just being silly.
It was definitely part of the joke
That part was hilarious!
Just saw John with my family last night here in Houston - absolutely the medicine we needed in these stressful times! I haven't laughed this hard in quite a while. Dustin Nickerson is terrific as well... who probably gave the most memorable take away phrase... "Ponchos to Parkas." Thank you for grounding your innovative humor with thoughtful inspection on today's Christian social norms and "ab-norms"!
So never heard of John Christ, but I have been having some bad days and I believe God but this in my feed to help me relax an d to know he has this...thanks for the SMILE
how did Benny Hinn end up on the waiver wire? Have you seen how many people he knocks out with his blazer? he could knock out every pastor on the board in under a minute.
Lmbo
He came out as fake.
Is he on the waiver wire? No one drafted him and dropped him. He’s still a free agent.
i think someone is getting way too technical about the Fantasy Pastor Draft
Benny Hinn is a fake...
Oh my goodness 😂 😂 this was brilliant!!!!!! "Show me the tithe money!!" Not the private jet😂😂😂😂😂😂
"The number of minutes their sermon goes over" 😆
I know there was a mention of private jets. But the PPR formula should have included the size of the compounds they live in.
I lost it at Pope Francis twitter followers 😂
As a Catholic it really made,me laugh
Should've taken Benny Hinn. He would've knocked out all the other guys with his jacket!! LOL!!
😂
Ha!!
😂 😂 😂 😂
😂😂😂
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Worst day I have had in six months and the only thing that centers me is watch all of these videos. This kind of humor brings me back to logic. Man I love this guy
Loved that Andrew was in this! Recently finished I Said This / You Heard That. Love his humor! And the jokes about his dad in this are great 😂😂
On rare occasions I wish there was a Love button for awesome UA-cam videos like this
The expressions you make are hysterical. 😂
😨😀
Especially when he nodded and then nodded again when the guys said "Selina"
Now that's a comedian I can appreciate. Bravo! Smart, extremely witty & well thought out. Hope he does a gig in our neck of the woods.
"Show me the tithe money!"
I died 😂
The Pope's Twitter followers killed me 😂 That's hilarious
This is the most fun and relatable video ever lol. I understood all the references!! I need to call my mom and thank her
I come back to this all the time 😅 to get a good laugh
You're all sleeping on Joyce Meyer😑
I used to listen to her podcast but something about her always rubbed me the wrong way. I couldn't pin point it outside of her being a woman and preaching. Which I was always taught was wrong.
Gray K we may not always have all the answers about what what’s right and what’s wrong, or who is right and who is wrong. Apart from biblical doctrine, the way we grow up also is a determinant in knowing what is good for us. some denominations frown on women being preachers, some don’t. I know Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well and preached to her community. There’s so much more to the Christian faith than we know, we can only keep on getting to know more!
Yes girl! Love me some Joyce! And Max Lucado?? Hellooooooo!!!!
i would be a little careful with her teachings. she’s taught some false things
@@grayk7455 biblically Women can TEACH, we just can’t be elders or the main pastors. So I get you there, she has also taught a lot of unbiblical things, so best fo avoid her!
"Whole Methodist lineup" 😂😂😂😂😂😂. This was epic!!
Hilarious but also sad
Sad :/ If we don't reflect Jesus we lose our goal.
AB Elizabeth yea... the all those men and woman up there bringing shame to His name
Hmfirestormz I would seriously disagree with Francis Chan. He is rock solid.
I believe that Steven furtick is a great pastor God has used him to help me with so much in life.
@@thatonegirlelaine agreed. Everbody else are charlatans
I literally have no idea who any of these people are 😂
lol that’s probably a good thing 😂
that's a good thing, except Francis Chan. You should know who Francis is. He is a humble servant of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
@@asinegaasinega
But be cautious, he's going down a sketchy road validating known false teachers like Todd White and Benny Hinn.
Wow!! John has really blown up in popularity!!🙌🙌🙌I'm proud!!!
Brilliant satire John. Your humorous skits brighten up my days!
Where’s Jentzen Franklin!?!?!? 😂😂
Counterfeit Dollar?
Hilarious! This is genius comedy that speaks truth without being dogmatic. Great work.
Great to have Tim Keller's theology 🙌🙌
Best part in the video!
@@matthiasbates9660 *cough* Rick Warren..
HE SAID IT. THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN.
@@matthiasbates9660 u don't know where any of their souls are going
Matthias Bates And who put you in charge of hell?
Joel osteen "Tom Brady of pastors "
Adam Busta I didn’t know Tom Brady was a heretic
/ShadowSaber/ so true
Yeah Joel Osteen wears makeup. He probably best defines a poser.
That’s an insult to Tom Brady, right?
Definitely lol
You really did that 😂 confused john gray with td jakes! Im dead
I’ve watched this maybe 20 times. Can’t get enough!!🤣🤣🤣
Hahahaha this is so good!:) I didn’t realize John was so famous!:)
Shame, shame, shame,
Michael Williams haha I know right!;)
that's not a reason to smile here, brother haha
I'm not sure what you mean? Why shouldn't I smile?
I think the video is making fun of these pastors, no?
This might be John’s masterpiece, one of the best UA-cam videos ever
The “pastors” the have on the wall speak volumes about the faith.
Yeah, more like heretics.
This is genuisly hilarious!!! 😂🤣😂😂
"He's Catholic does that even count!?" hahaha
The first shall be last anyone?????
Yours Truly, Chris YES
@Yours Truly, Chris I thought of you when he said that!
You. Are. EVERYWHERE
Thought of you when he said that. Actually I think of you any time I hear that 😂
I've seen you on every blimey cow comments section...
i’m actually cringing at how serious people are taking this video and how negative the comments are. the video is a joke lol
Kinda true, I don't wanna sound legalistic. Cause this can turn into a (negative joke) Who are we to judge (anything)or (anybody). Especially when non Christian have to listen to this now.......it'll deffinatly be confusing.😥
Bible Studies with Victoria
Exactly. I’m not even religious and I seem to like this guy more than a lot of Christians if the comments are anything to go by.
As a young child, Joyce Meyer used to scare me whenever my parents watched her sermons on TV.
Marvin the Maniac you were wise to be scared , JM is a scary bitch !!!
She is scary. I’ve heard behind the scenes, she’s even worse, always screaming and yelling at everyone. Benny hinn as well. They both make my skin crawl.
You have no idea the repressed fear you've awakened
@@rickyrickalvous2982 I don't?
Take a Knee🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. This is so funny! How do you do these videos without cracking up every week! Thanks for the laugh!
This is great! He didn’t cross the line of respect yet this was so funny!
I like sermons from Joseph Prince & Joel Osteen, so I could appreciate the jokes about them the most. Overall, this video was Genius. When it was over I immediately thought, "I hope there's a part 2 to this."
Louis Giglio is my pastor, when my grandma took a DNA test it said we’re related to his family
Have you ever watched Louie Giglio’s video about Laminin ? It’s really good
How does your grandma know?
@@lu1982 when you take dna tests it tells you the people you’re related to
On a Bye week start your youth pastor but expect less production 🤣🤣🤣 my side hurts !!!
FoxBlockheadlp I didn't get that joke, could you explain?
@@DalgonaC in fantasy sports, teams/players have a "bye" week meaning they are not scheduled to play at that time. So he's joking saying when the regular pastor is gonna be out, the youth pastor will speak but isn't as popular or well received by the congregation
Hahaha, thank you for explaining. I finally get the joke.
Having an orthodoxy rating would be useful with that bunch
Keller was the only orthodox guy in the bunch. Of course, he was the only one picked for theology.
James Almond Chan
@@slibertas1996 I stand corrected.
@@slibertas1996 Also, Giglio.
GENIUS move!! Funny, True and Exhorting at the same time 😉😂
😂😂😂
"When Your Pastor Is on Bi-Week Always Start Your Youth Pastor, But Expect Way Less Production" Lol
"Selena?!" Hahaha this was nicely done guys!
Samuel Stephen Selena Gomez! She and Justin Bieber could do a song with Lecrae! That would be awesome!
you sick John, this made me wheze from laughter...
“The whole Methodist line up” 😂
I’ve watched this three times. Still funny.
I'm just not sure how any video will ever top this.
LOL! My fantasy football team from last season was the Colorado Church Plants.
This. Is. Gold.
“..it wrecked me…” 😂 😂 😂
Thank you for using this script to show everything that is wrong with modern Christianity.
Exactly!! I think some people missed the point of the exercise!!
BonnieBlue2A seriously!
Honestly didn't know most of them & I grew up in a church. The only one I know that I like is Joyce Meyer
I think it was all done in fun, these people are really on the same team, not competing with each other... this video just highlights some one their sttengths!
I think it shows many things that are right!!
Spot on! Completely out of the park for nailing the excesses and what's wrong with the focus of many churches today with your killer sense of humor. The beauty of your bits are that there's laughter and then sadness when the reality sinks in. The condition of the church as a whole today is heartbreaking. In the area that I'm in it's extremely dry spiritually and most of the churches are contaminated in one way or another and not even remotely led by the Holy Spirit