How Do You Deal With Unconscious People?
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- Опубліковано 18 лют 2016
- www.eckharttollenow.com
In this Question and Answer session, Eckhart Tolle explains how unconscious people can serve as helpers to deepen your own presence.
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Eckhart Tolle is widely recognized as one of the most original and inspiring spiritual teachers of our time. He travels and teaches throughout the world.
Eckhart is not aligned with any particular religion or tradition, but excludes none. His profound yet simple and practical teachings have helped thousands of people find inner peace, healing and greater fulfillment in their lives. At the core of his teachings lies the transformation of individual and collective human consciousness - a global spiritual awakening.
Eckhart Tolle is the author of The Power of Now, a #1 New York Times Bestseller, which has been translated into 32 languages and become one of the most influential spiritual books of our time.
In his most recent book, A New Earth, he shows how transcending our ego-based state of consciousness is not only essential to personal happiness, but also the key to ending conflict and suffering throughout the world.
Ego reacts to ego. I've made so many attempts at trying to change or make an unconscious person see another perspective and it all turns around on me. I think the best way to deal with unconscious people is to let them be and simply observe the ego without judging or labeling (ego too)
i would say just make the effort to stay present and watch your own pain body.. then everythign else will sort itself out with no problem! trying to not be judgemental or understand someone may just be more mental noise.. i dont think you can really force it. If you are totally aware you will naturally be the best you can be no need to TRY to be better.. aside from just awareness and watching your pain body.
True I have found when you try and tell someone they are wrong it isn't them it is you as you feel you know better which is just another form of feeling superior in some way. When you get to understand that everything is working as it should in a self governing system and that everyone succeeds eventually there is no need to tell anybody anything.
BE the example you wish to see is the most powerful thing anybody can possibly do.
When you work on yourself and drop your fears you do become more powerful and if you see people who have dropped most of if not all their fears they are most powerful beyond measure.
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Same here too. Always thought it wasn't the ego, just me being good and trying to help, but it always pulled me back unconsciousness. Buddha was sitting at a park, meditating and talking with lots of people when an old man came to him and started shouting and asking:
"Why are you telling us this? Why should i believe you? Who do you think you are?"
And the buddha takes a rock and answered:
"Lets imagine this rock is hate. I'm going to put this in a box, tie it up and make it a present. Now I'm going to give you this present, but you know it's going to be hate that I'm giving you, so you don't take the present. Who's present is it then?"
Ryan Quaresma Articulated very well.
Plant a seed and walk away :)
I like the way he never says something or someone is bad. Just not aware. That is the truth.
Tamara Omcikus 'Willful ignorance' exists, though, doesn't it?
I struggle with this. Although I am "aware" of what's really going on, I seem to be stuck in a phase where witnessing unconscious behavior is a two-edged sword. I start to have feelings of disgust, anger, etc. while simultaneously KNOWING why I'm repulsed AND understanding the teaching opportunity in front of me. I either respond to unconscious behavior with sarcasm, anger OR empathy. Afterwards, I feel shame concerning my OWN behavior when I am not present. Then I become gentle with myself and simply keep going. My own "pain body" can be very clever by keeping this revolving door going. Sometimes it whispers, "You're not a spiritual being; today you weren't even a good human." Hey, nobody said this path would be easy! I'm very grateful to have Tolle as a guide and support.
"The challenge is to stay present while they're being unconscious with you" 06:32
Yes, when my wife is struggling she will bring up insane demands or claims if I don't react. "We can't be together unless you manage these four difficult things at once." or "You need to pay me money even if you cant afford it, because im struggling right now".
I keep not reacting or paying attention, and she goes almost crazy and aggressive, then calm and gives up. Then we can walk into nature and she will blossom up and become conscious again. But if I were to appease her, she would be happy for a little while, then instantly flare up again with some insanity. Yes, I am living with an unconscious person. It isn't easy.
Nikos Antzoulatos how does one stay present?
by becoming extremely alert and not letting the others negative energy pull you in their drama
Cronos090693 yes that's one technique and there might be other techniques too.
@ The Forms: I strongly admire your strength of consciousness. In a word, inspiring. (Standing ovation from crowd ensues). :O]
Dealing with unconsciousness people by thinking of them as a spiritual challenge and a way of developing one's own consciousness. Eckhart has a way of expressing things very clearly.
Cognitive Dissident wouldn’t you be acting out of ego yourself thinking you are there to save them, or by having a “they’re wrong you’re right” mentality?
Unconscious people can definitely be a challenge. Not only don't they know they're identified with their mind, but they don't even know that they don't know (to quote Noam Chomsky). I just let people get on with their own life. Trying to make them change in any way simply reinforces their unconsciousness. They will interpret your words as a personal attack on them and they will resent you for bringing attention to their own issues. Just let them be, I say.
agreed :)
+FocusReborn I've just had a long time friend holiday in my adopted city half way around the world. He suffers from BDP, will do nothing about it and his daily binge drinking worsens it. I completely agree with what you say. He left yesterday for another country to visit another friend. I didn't even say goodbye and won't suffer his viciousness any more. We each have our own self esteem too (not ego), and I'm tired of him. They never change. Let them be.
tamsinthai Trying to change them will just bring you down. You're right - let them be.
+FocusReborn Maybe you are attacking them with your words.
Moni That's what THEY say. I agree with Focus Reborn. Let them be. I've felt a great weight lifted when I finally jettisoned mine. Nothing I've said or done over the past twenty years has made a jot of difference. It's in their own heads and their problem. When do people get to take responsibility for themselves? I'd really like Eckhart to talk about THAT.
This dude right here! “Relationships r ur spiritual practice” boom!
The biggest challenge is all your family members are unconscious. The step mom he described is exactly like my mom. I will practice presence and let her scream and yell as opposed to asking her to stop talking.
Thank heaven for this guy. A light in the world.
+James He makes this very clear in the opening chapter of "A New Earth." He doesn't claim to have originated any of these ideas.
+James it's nice that he has the ability to connect with the people of this Modern Age or as thousands of years ago the Buddha used language that allowed his people to understand what he was saying by using the language of the time
Abir Tarafdar there are plenty of others. Just have the intent to find them and they shall appear.
Benjamin Berry these people are all simply messengers of the universal laws of nature. They didn't invent them, just observed them and started consciously working with them just as the Buddha did and countless people before him.
I have listened to Eckhart for 3 years, and been completely conscious. I am in the process of doing the same again. But let me promise you something; he is a fallible human just like anyone else. Not everything he says is correct, or even moral. *Never let a human lead you or be an absolute authority for you.*
Unconsciousness is contagious.
This is the best video I've seen out there for controlling my anger. Because when I think about it almost everybody are misguided in life. So instead of letting angry people getting to me. I just remind myself "they are unconscious" & I just feel bad for them instead. I Love This.
sometimes I wonder why some people take a spiritual path and become conscious and some don't. but my grandma told me that emotional intelligence comes from life experiences. so I think it is a combination of both seaking spirituality and life experiences that lead people to becoming more concious
C Melanso I agree absolutely with your grandma!
Also, past life experiences that we bring with us to this one unknowingly. They help spear us forward, or keep us back.
For me it wasn't really seeking spiritually per say but just questioning life then having some really hard times was what first gave me what you could call a spiritual awakening and the seeking of that was deepened by my curiosity as well as a psychedelic experience I had
Many people are too closed minded to realize they are closed minded. Let them be in their ignorance and smile.
Great video! It reminds me of The Four Agreements: (1) Let your word be impeccable; (2) Don't take anything personally; (3) Don't make assumptions; (4) Always do your best. Thank you, Mr. Tolle. I needed to hear your wise words.
Every one or thing is just a mirror held up to us for a reason. Don't kill or blame or judge the messenger because their job is not easy. They have taken the task that we have ordered. Observe and find the lesson that is there as the gift. We create our own reality and invite / attract everything in order to experience, learn and grow.
treat them as you would a sick friend. with love and patience & hopefully they will wonder what it is you have and how they can have a slice :)
You reminded me of a chocolate cake when i read this comment. Yum
If I loved someone I wouldn't go around calling them sick or unconscious. If I had a small ego I wouldn't want to appear as though I had the biggest ego ever.
I think of it like a 5 year old. A 5 year old can only understand so much but they deserve patience & kindness. Essentially they have not evolved - so they are "young".
and what if they interrupt you, disrespect you and then freak out because you told them the truth?
Darn, I was always taught to put unconscious persons in 'recovery' postition and make sure airway, breathing and circulation are good... HA
😄 this comment was not appreciated enough
the key is to lead by example and inspire :)
Everyone thinks that the people they are observing are the unconscious ones. :) In turn they may be observing you with the same thought. :)
Exactly. Biggest ego trip is getting rid of the ego.
We need unconcious ppl to strengthen the spirit.Love that.
i have met some angry people in my life and i said : hey they are the way they are , i do not have to be like them, i agree with this amazing human.
I love how he stops on some phrases just to for people to take a breath, and again being present on his words, I love it, and he knows, this human being was came to earth for us to bring our inner peace
this man is so calm i love it
I just love this man, the other day my dad went off on a rampage and in the same moment he victimized himself going on and on. I only listened and bacame awere how little he knows himself and then realised that I'll probably will only have small talks with my father nothing real or emotional cause his simply not capable it's difficult but I pray for strengt and wisdom people like Eckhart have done great things
I live with 5 unconscios people
And it's a hard challenge for me
But I learn from them and I see them like a blessing
Like ekhart said ..
Wow. This is amazing. I love how he says that our consciousness effects the consciousness of others!
Brigitte Belle me too!!! Good info to have when you have loved ones with mental illness!!!
Brigitte Belle me too! :D
and what is it about how he say that that makes you love it? i believe i had the same fortune in a cookie last night at suzie wong's resteraunt. it wasn't particularly insightful then and it isn't now so maybe you can enlighten me on what exactly is so profound about that statement?
the law of resonance
Our consciousness and their consciousness is actually one and the same. But many of us have a you-them duality.
The lifting weights analogy is so boss. Tolle is a badass. Probably the best thing I heard all year.
The strongest bushit you have to deal with is your own bushit, the whole you are not there yet bushit or feeling superior because you know some shit, it is all bushit that blocks you, and only dealing with that nonsense, as painful as that can be for some, will make a real effect.
Now for all of us judging this lady, look how above Tolle is, he could easily have said something regarding how she getting affected is a bad sign, but he actually answered by expecting the best case scenario, addressing the actual question instead.
Exactly, muscles grow by tearing them. Then they have to adapt to these tears. Also remember that you can be the unconscious person in the path of someone else, so always keep it humble.
I love the community those of us seeking a spiritual path and our personal growth has created. While the negativity still exists even here, I love that we can still unite and collaborate without worrying about others perception of ourselves. I love you all. Namaste
3:05 A true & powerful analogy of physical exercise to spiritual growth through the challenges of others who are ‘in your face’ unconscious. To not react unconsciously yourself, but go to an even deeper state of conscious presence. That practice may not be enjoyable but will make you stronger spiritually.
That which has brought you to recognition, will bring others in due time. Let grace do what it does best, and if it needs you it will use you. Don't go around trying to be a farmer of souls. That's the ego trying to ride your coattails to feel important and special.
Unconscious people as challenges to get more present (hence growth). Relationships as spiritual practice.
One must realize that no physical or mental effort can take one to God. One must give up, mentally and physically, all idea of reaching God and one must finally throw oneself at God’s feet and let Him do whatever He wishes with you. When there is complete physical and mental self-surrender, then God’s grace takes you to the goal.
Aren’t we all unconscious to some degree?
While I was listening to this, especially the part about your step mother's stories, that I realized that all people have stories about their perception of the reality of their life. Some stories have more connection to spirit and some more connection to ego. All have some points of truth and connection. All of the stories of the people I come in contact with, no matter how unconscious or crazy or enlightened or immature, have a some value for my journey or I would not notice them. Thank you for that little nugget. :)
Humm! After some ‘big hurts’, I have thought loudly, “ Thank you for being the unwitting reagent in my enlightenment!”. It is curiously calming.
This is the neutralizing and not internalizing!!! Great
Yes, the challenge makes you more concious! Stay present !!! Thanks Eckart.
I love how Tolle says Thank you at the end each time, as a question is a gift to us all.
So many people in the comments are ironically judging the woman for "judging" the person she is calling unconscious.
People; consciousness is a fact. It exists. When a person does not have it they can be said to be unconscious.
If I say a room is dark am I judging that room? No. I'm saying it lacks light. Simple. True.
Why is it different if I observe a person is unconscious? They lack consciousness (spiritually speaking). Simple. True. It isn't judgement, automatically.
Unconscious is the best word because it is factual. It is far superior to "asshole" or "bitch" or " cuckoo" precisely because it doesn't contain a judgement but only and observation. It also points immediately to what is needed; more consciousness.
Pretty funny how people are judging the woman for judging and never stop to see it as such.
Pretty funny how I'm judging them for judging her for judging people. We are all trying to create a mind form of and for ourselves as superior to the one we are judging. Ego. We are all, to some degree, unconscious. Some more so than others.
We are all at different points on the path. Being a few steps ahead in the line doesn't make us superior.
Nonetheless, the word unconscious is an apt one. It is useful. It isn't inherently judgemental.
Absolutely agree. Love your comment!!
If I didn't want to appear judgemental or superior, I would have asked something like "How to tell people about this awesome thing they've been unconscious of?"
Great comment so true :-)
Thank you
Mel Finehout The world is better when we don't judge each other or ourselves for that matter. One must get out of their heads and into their hearts to find their spirit in light.
The ego loves to see the negative traits itself has, in others. In Norway we have a saying that kids learn when somebody says something bad to them : "The one who says it, is that himself." It's a great way to observe that you are really judging your self, not anyone else.
One by one we awaken, collectively we prevail, we are the light,
we are one.
To regard this unconscious people as blessings...
Hats off sir...
U truly are a great human being...
Thank you Eckhart, I feel the secret of the universe as you feel it. If someone love to see conscious people, look at a singer or a musicien, each are a wole totally present, it is so nice !
This is exactly what I'm going through with someone and last night i came to the realisation that my ego is reacting to theirs as they're not seeing things the way I think they 'are' or they 'should be'. In essence, it's what he was talking about when he said that we should see the unconsciousness in others as a challenge for our own growth; my dear friend and their current situation which is highlighting unconsciousness is also helping me to see the ego work I must do and that I was unaware of. There is opportunity for growth in all situations but we must seek.
Thank you for existing, great soul Eckart. Meine Liebe für dich ist unglaublich tief.
deal with yourself first and then its pretty straight forward :)
I think letting go and letting people get on with their lives is the answer here. We only govern our own lives and believe as we do, through our countless experiences, of what life has taught us. Yeah there are schools and colleges and I've attended both, but at the end of the day, preffered my own thinking. In fact I've learned more through the school of life, than I ever learned in either school or college... So who really cares if other people fit in or not? I certainly do not fit in with other people's perceptions of self, and neither do I want too. Preffering individuallality over cloning.. Which is to say.. Thinking as other people do. Yeah if it resonates that's a bonus, it means I warm to you a lot quicker than I otherwise would. But it doesn't mean, I don't like you, it just means we resonate differently. Thanks for sharing this video 👍
This makes perfect sense to me... Our consciousness affects other people... I see it so clearly now... Thank you for always helping me
Great question and brilliant answer !
Brilliant, Amazing.. Thank you so much Eckhart for all these videos
This was so incredibly helpful and needed. Thank you so much!
When I connect to higher truth, my frequency changes and it is the only way to get my mother calm and listen. So true, but most of the time I get also lost and reactive/ or other extreme: passiv. But I can always feel the last step towards letting the show begin. Once had a situation, where I saw my partner being in the middle of a storm and taking collateral damages in purchase. I just breath and although I reacted strong without fear and drove the line, I did it without loosing my connection and without identifying with that role I was playing. That interaction/" the show" ended spontaneously with a hug.
Beautiful question and answer both, thank you. These short videos are helpful and more easy to digest, compared to videos of an hour or more. There's already so much in less than 10 minutes! I've noticed lately, that my consciousness or presence, has an effect on those around me. The interaction between me and others becomes more and more transparent. Yesterday I encountered a shadow inside that made me cringe for a while. I met a woman in the street who had no physical problem, but walked in such a sloppy manner, with a body language that spoke of many issues, that she reminded me of an idiot and my judgement flew toward her. I could sense that energy moving from me toward her and it bounced back to me immediately.
A slap in my face, confrontation, instant karma. A cookie of my own dough, as we say in Holland.
U make my days!...😍 TY for all you do for SO many people 💞
I suggest every person reading this to adopt a cat. I think people who say they "hate" cats really don't, rather, they dislike the contrast between cats and themselves. Cats are very Godlike....It's extremely difficult to get a cat to conform to your will.
I love that about cats.
1. Regard unconscious ppl as blessing. Welcome them when they make your life difficult. Unconscious ppl can't pull you into unconsciousness. Practice that.
A book I read on forgiveness, some time ago, once detailed these people as PETs - personal emotion trainers - which is to say that they are in your life to present you an opportunity to refine and grow be it through understanding, confrontation etc but the principle remained the same - that they are present to you for a reason. Often if you look inside deep enough, you'll find an intolerance within yourself of a similar vein.
Thanks for the video.
Thank you really needed to watch this today. Xx awesome interpretation I understand and appreciate.xx
I love this response - that unconscious people can help us to realise our own presence
So needed right now. Thank you.
very good. Just what I needed to hear today. thank you
So grateful for this advice
Such an intelligent man! I'm glad I've come across this channel.
Always makes me think Thank you!
Aaaahhh...., Thank you very much!!! I need this to hear 🙏
Thank you.
Much love and light 💛✨💛
Amazing answer! Thinking of unconscious people as a blessing is brilliant way to think about the situation. Thanks Eckhart!
I was always faced with unconscious that seems to find me an easy target. I've had to back down. There have been very few close friends along the way and I was always very close to my parents. But most of my closest relationships with me were my pets - cats that we considered family. I'm still in the grieving process over losing them and almost every day I come to tears over them. I have been acquainted with ACIM since the late 70's and most of the "teacher" were rather condescending or negative towards since I refused to go along with the church sort of structure. I just wanted to join others in a sort of free flow of ideas on the topic of ACIM. I've been heavily depressed for over 40 years as well as anxiety, OCD, PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, ADD and I do feel 'shell shocked'. But what I feel mostly is profound sadness over endangered species and loss of habitat for animals. I also feel sad about never having had a romantic relationship though I was considered quite good looking until my mid 50's. I am a very sensitive person, am a musician and love beautiful yet dark music such as Chopin, Debussy as well as other types of music. In High School, I did not attend PE class and went instead to the library and began reading books by Erich Fromm. It was there my search began and on to ACIM and on to quantum physics. I am a bit despondent that I've learned so little over this period of time. I did sort of have a epiphany at age 19 while reading Fromm, that Guilt was an illusion. Since then, I've only had faint experiences but nothing of any significance.
That guy from that ad before this video, talking about brain & heart coherence. Am I the only one who finds this the most unpleasant person ever?
He is an amazing opportunity to become present.
I understand this on every level..great question and great response Eckhart Tolle 💫✨
Surely one of the best videos I've ever seen.
The end credits music is sooo beautiful!
I love how he calls people "humans" as if he is looking at a seperate species to himself
I love you Eckhart!
Thank you so much we really appreciate it immensely.🙏👏👍❤
Healthy boundaries. So important.
You're amazing. Thank you
Thank you for this perspective.
Wow thank you for this video Eckhart
I am amazed, thank you so much.
“It is about learning to stay present while they are unconscious with you”
Eckhart Tolle, you entered my living room yesterday thank you, Eric Dale KC, MO USA.
Yay! This is the question I had! ^^
Thank you Eckhart all the way from South Africa.
It's true, challenges make you more conscious. But like with so many things, you first do it wrong because there is not enough teaching and learning from a young age. But I try to see my mistakes and indeed, life is so beautiful for giving us so many chances. It's hard at times but I can only hope it gets easier. It's the own mind but also our society who makes it not so easy to learn but you can, of course. I found it enriching to hear personal stories. I have also had phases of isolation and maybe in those it's even sometimes more difficult to maintain a conscious mind (it's not easy to see your own wrong behaviour as easily when you have no one to show you).
Wow I needed to hear that.
So calming...
I’ve noticed that I recognise people that are ‘unconscious’ and there’s honestly so so many people. It bothered me greatly every time I came across it and I began to hold contempt for such people. With the thought ‘how can they not see, I’m showing them, I’m being patient with them’ but they are so caught up in their struggle to be right. With their struggle to identify themselves. So caught up in their own thoughts they cannot see their thoughts from who they are.
I’ve read the Power of Now. And I sought a video addressing what do you do when you meet such people.
Eckhart knew my question before I even asked it.
Great insightful video.
I will use them as training for maintaining my own consciousness. Resisting the urge to react in anger.
...caught up in their struggle to be right... that sounds like you, dfs gr. Love isn't for sale you know? If others don't buy
it that you're conscious, you seem to jump in the pool of unconsciousness, holding it against them. Hilarious!
I really think he is wonderful...🌺
Had a stream of unconscious people lately, when I've just wanted peace and space. Have felt the unconscious trying to drag me in while I've felt overwhelmed and tired.
This was very helpful to me!
I’m going to see Eckhart in Newfoundland in June ... I’m hoping for a wonderful experience :). My husband is coming with me as well. I loved his books and really feel everything he says to be very true. 🙏
Thank you so much! 💖
consciousness is universe
Took a while to answer the question but brilliant points once he talked.
wow, I love this outlook
Thanks dear Eckhart 🙏🌷🙏
a very inspiring answer!!
On point as always.