No. If the bride does not tell you, why believe your dad. I had so many family events I was not invited to. Found out my mom was telling people I couldn’t go because I had to work. I was 15 and had a job but if any of them had bothered to check they would have known McDonald’s wasn’t open on Easter (example). I was home alone in my room. I was a child and would go days with no human contact.
I thought this was gonna be a suicide story at first and I was so scared and sad for her, thankfully it wasn’t. And so, while this is still horrible, at least it’s not that.
The only update i got rn is: Op went to the wedding and it went how she thought it would go, the bride felt bad saying no, the MIL didn’t even speak to her, her own brother only tiptoed around the subject only to spit out a weak " sorry about all the dog stuff " as he said goodbye. No confrontation, nothing. Also, her father gives her some updates but yea..that’s it
Sooo. . . They all still talk to the father who cheated and broke the family. . . . but they resent and bully the innocent child who was born out of the affair???? Like wtf??? OP should gtfo from this family. I'm glad they got away from these people.
lol its quite telling honestly - dad prolly always came thru with it, and considering OP STILL wants to go he IS getting thru with it - OP still coming is enabling the behavior too
@@alexiaroberts1012 it is because this is a medical alert dog. Or do you not count panic attacks, which can cause heart attacks if severe enough, a medical problem?
@@lcrs5050your pretty dumb ngl. Public space/ venue. Doggy is allowed by law. Private space / venue. Doggy no have rights. You use common sense like grown up now yes?
@@alexiaroberts1012 a public-private venue it's not the same. Mind you it would have to take place in the US for these laws to be the same. Otherwise the laws would vary depending on where the wedding is going to be. But it's a medical dog not an emotional support dog. Being able to deal with panic attacks is a medical necessity because it can put stress on the heart and cause other issues a lot of people with severe anxiety also have heart problems so you need to release stress as much as possible... It can actually kill you but you need to have it severely but having these sorts of panic attacks with a dog of this nature means that you have it bad enough. To be fair he clearly stated it was a medical necessity and a service dog!
@@misscheesecake7282 😅 if the venue space can be rented then in fact they cannot do that. If it's a venue mind you. It is a medical necessity it is not emotional support animal which have limited access again this would have to be in the US... It depends on where they're having the wedding. But you seem pretty ignorant of US law! A private home and a private venue that you rent out are very different the word private for venue means that you can tell people they can't come but they can't as the venue tell someone a medical necessity can't be there! You really need to do more research
God, taking out your anger on a child (blaming OP for for the ending of two different marriages because of their birth is taking anger out on kids, you cannot tell me otherwise) is terrible parenting, you are a terrible parent, and nothing you say will make me think otherwise. I’m sorry to the OP that they had to go thru this, they don’t deserve the crap their family has put them thru. They didn’t ask to be born, why put all of the hate onto them?? Disgusting, shouldn’t have had kids
Her Mum died when she was 5 and she lost several other caregivers. It seems to be her own generation that are holding the grudge. They abused her so much that she remains mentally ill from it and now they can't cope with her neurodiverse behaviour that they caused? Special place in hell with the perverts.
If the bride doesn’t tell you directly, you’ve no way of knowing she’s her mind. Would tell dad directly that unless the bride tells you that, talking, you’ve now way of knowing you’re. Or being lied to. And if the bride does cancel it, just say ok, you acknowledge that she’s changed her mind and no longer find my service dog who keeps me safe acceptable. And then just don’t go. Don’t tell anyone you’re not going, just don’t go. When people freak out and get angry about you not showing up, it’s a simple “you didn’t want me there, because you didn’t want me safe there”
A normal person would have cut ties years ago. It's strange how the whole family blames the one person who wasn't in anyway responsible for the affair. They still talk to the cheater but not his child. I hope OP finally moved on. Not sure why you would go to a wedding where you are disliked by just about everyone for just existing.
There are two types of family: Family by blood and family by choice. Family by choice is - or at least should be - more important to you **because you chose them.** Family by blood can be part of family by choice, so both groups share one feature... Once you stop CARING about them, they aren't family anymore. You can block them out of your life, out of your mind, and move on. They're "someone I used to know."
It feels amazing once they're gone. The grief is hard but, the lesser evil once its all you have to deal with. You have moments where you question, hurt all over again, feel helpless all over again. I'd take that 1000x over if it meant the freedom from my family I now have. The best part is knowing they'll still blame me. Granted, i noticed thatd be the case long before I ended up leaving. Still, knowing that I've found peace while they continue to claim i ruined their perfect family lmao solely for being born last. I don't care if they notice. I don't care if they miss me. All I care about is that I took myself out of it. I got out, and I'm free. They'll keep going in the cycle till they choke out. Not my problem. I tried for 2 decades +to make it my problem, it will now forever be theirs
Same, I hear everything thing through my mother and they hear everything through her. So now I don't tell my mother much at all. I know when she dies no body will even know if I am dead or alive.
My wedding is coming up next year and one of my bridesmaid's has a service dog. Even while I'm planning everything for the big day, I'm such a people pleaser that I'm also thinking about what needs the friend has for on the big day. Do they need a wheelchair or something else to help them if they have a medical episode? What the bride is saying THROUGH THE FATHER is disgusting to ask. I don't blame OP for cutting contact after all of this.
@ChaoticAngelKitten they really do. They informed my partner and I about their condition prior to us making plans for the wedding so we were aware. And I see a reason why they shouldn't have those services accessible to them should they need them.
Damn I’m just starting to fully understand the dysfunction in my family. My father told me he it wouldn’t be worth the investment to buy a psychiatric dog to help with suicidal tendencies, autism, and executive dysfunction, crippling fatigue. When it came time for him to take initiative for his own actions and past mistakes, he threatens to Barr me from the family.
If someone tells you who they are believe them. They are AH for they way their treating op but if op goes to the wedding and makes a big scene they are just like the rest of the family
@@komikbookgeekbut father was only one that communicated with her at all unless she spoke to them first and they had all bullied her into silence when they were kids.
if they _(bride)_ aren't going to be straight with you .. even your dad 'giving you the news' as someone's proxy and via email rather than face to face .. then I say ghost them from the outset. just don't attend the wedding
I'd do the exact same if they can't be decent enough to tell you in person that the dig cannot be at the wedding then they don't deserve you in their life just leave it
Id do that. After my ex husband and I split, his family cut our kids out. And eventually him. I stayed away from family functions after the split bc it wasn't my place anymore to ride herd on him, that's what I told my former in-laws when my ex behaved badly at Christmas. And now my ex husband passed away and the in-laws haven't bothered to ask how his kids are or anything. Family is more than a title. You either are or you're not. And if you're lucky and strong you can make your own family. My little family is doing better now and now love and support each other in a family we made. We are lucky.
I wouldn’t have gone myself, I’ve reached the point in my life where either I matter to you or I don’t. It’s just that simple. I won’t bend over for anyone unless they’re willing to try and be there for me when I need them
Frankly I wouldn't even bother going to the wedding anything question why I would say because you're not family we're not friends restraints and you have done this I'm tired of being the only one putting the effort in and I would literally state that one of them have already confirmed that they resent me from even existing which confirms the fact that the rest that are treating me the exact same as them feel the exact way about me even though I never asked to exist I never asked to be born if someone Couldn't Keep it in their pants and didn't want me they should have aborted me the one that is innocent in the whole affair but no you chose to torture me for the rest of my life so cutting all ties and we'll probably be cutting legal ties as well so if any s*** hits the fan later on in life you can't come asking me for help because we're biologically related which can actually be done since it is very much obvious that I am not wanted in this family you had options you can have picked abortion or sending me to an orphanage you chose neither and chose to mentally abuse me along with the rest of them to the point where I need a service dog not only that a service dog is required to be allowed in everywhere since it is against the law to deny a service dog but like said that's just what I would say at the end of that I would literally end the call and go right ahead and start making those preparations cut all ties completely with that toxic family who blames a innocent child for the family fallen apart because like said they had a three options abortion or giving up for adoption or actually accepting the child is family but no hey captain and mentally abused it to the point it needs a service dog so yeah I would have ever used to cut all contact and ties to that family long before this
Wow, if that was my wedding. My request would be that we find the puper the best looking bowtie we can find. Dogs are better than people and most of my family.
I feel this. I don’t know if my family will even know when I get married or have kids just because they've been so horrible and toxic to me I don't want my child to have the CPTSD I have from them. If anything happens to us they go to my man friends because they'd, without hesitation, raise the child like their own. They're my only family now though my parents and grandparents are still alive. They think I cut them out but give me little to no effort when I make attempts to reach out.
Yeah this is why you simply do not ask about disability aids. Because it is not optional if I showed up at someone’s wedding and they tryed to tell me I can’t have have my disabilty aids I would be like oh okay why did you invite me if you wanted me to only bring part of me? A normal person may not see my collar plush or headphones as nessary or part of me but with out those things I will get over whelmed and start having my tics happen and I garentie you that me yelling out and twitching will be much more distracting than me holding a plush and wearing headphones
So, obviously, something like headphones is pretty hard to protest. But what if the mother of the groom is highly allergic to dog fur, and you have an ESA dog? in that case, I _do_ feel it's legit to say 'I'd like you there, but I cannot risk my grooms mother's life. If you cannot wear items that are dog-hair free and attend without the animal we understand' in a general sense.
@MrWGwinn there could be ways around that. Have your service dog groomed the night before/right before and change into a clean outfit at the venue to avoid accidental doggie glitter. And don't stay the entire time
@mb-rc4zu reasonable accommodation would be having it wear a muzzle along with not staying the whole time. Properly trained Service dogs don't wander while they are working
Thing is i feel like they will notice, they'll notice that they've lost their personal organic punching bag and the person they could lay blame on all their ills and woes upon. If they truly dont care? Then cool, they get to be free of their "burden" and OP gets to be free of HER burden. If they do care enough to start wailing about OP leaving, then honestly good, let them scream and cry, theyre absuive narcissistic freaks of nature who dont deserve any niceness. They made the mistake of cheating, OP isnt at fault for any of that, and they cam scream-cry at a wall of they seriously want someone to listen to their incessant whining
Wow. Like, obviously the bride was ok with it in the beginning, then the MOB complained and made it a big deal, when it really wasn’t. I think the bride just couldn’t stand up to her mom and couldn’t face him after saying yes, but she should’ve told him herself at least!! I hope they all realize what total dipshits they’ve been to him for absolutely no reason that was actually his fault!!
I don’t go to pre-divorces any more, I know the outcome and I’m not going to contribute my time effort or money to the poor guys downfall whom ever the guy is.
I don't see all weddings as pre-divorces, but you know the difference if you really know the couple. When you have a bride or groom who looks at it as "My Special Day" (as in, "I don't care about my partners' wishes for the day") it is 100% a pre-divorce. It's not being jaded. It's understanding that some people only get married because it's expected of them because they've been together for so long or some other b.s.
I wouldn't even go to the wedding. You do create the family you want. I don't speak to most of my family of origin, but I have friends and my children and grandchildren so I don't need my siblings and extended family
Family might mean everything to you, but clearly, you mean nothing to them. My own answer was to change my definition of family so it does not automatically include blood relations. You have your family with you. He looks after you, and you look after him. *That* is *family!*
He wants to continue to shift the blame for his affair so the family won't set him on fire. OP is getting blamed for existing and sperm-donor is a cowardly raging narcissist who would rather throw OP under the bus than admit he screwed up.
I wonder why it's so difficult for affair babies to realize that they are resented? Yes, it's not the child's fault but they are the physical manifestation of some people's pain. No matter how hard you try, they don't want that reminder. Realizing that will let you let go and be a lot happier.
I feel it’s easy for us to say that from the outside but for those living in that situation there must be something that makes them keep trying until something big happens. To us with good families we could drop that kind of bad families because we know what a good set of parents can be but for her the only thing she knows is being isolated
Yes because it's not like the now adults need to be responsible for dealing with their own trauma by going to therapy rather than punching down at their sister.
From the childs perspective, they see a group who is supposed to love and protect them. Instinctively, they will keep trying over and over again until it either clicks in their mind or they just d!e from exhaustion over the effort. Humans are social creatures, we are wired to behave this way, no matter how odd it seems from the outside. It is all we've ever known, after all, so we can't be expected to understand that this isn't normal (I'm not an affair child, I'm just breaking down the psychology and defaulting to a first person perspective)
I wonder if at Judgement Day and the family is overlooked would their be any self awareness? I mean we still fret on capital punishment over “the chair, the injection, the gas, the etc is just too good, too over too quickly. What did you do to make them that way? Very carefully look to see, if nothing found, cut off with impunity.
She says in Part 1 that she was the result of an affair that broke up 2 marriages but still the family hate her despite it not being her responsibility.
Yes, it IS an odd request and OP DID say s/he didn't need the dog to be there. And the dog doesn't care, of course. Though he'd like the steak. So there's a perfectly good argument for saying OP should have backed down and not cut ties afterward. S/he expressly said s/he does not need the dog to be at the wedding. S/he just dug in heels. The flip side is that the bride originally said Yes It was reasonable to regard that as agreement, and as final. And since MOTB did not mention anything about allergies, canine phobia, or other possible issue, sounds like she was just being a b*tch. Bride should probably have stood up to her. For that matter, Dad should have stood up to what I presume to be his sister or SIL.
When i hear stories that drip self-pity like this i cant help but think a lot of people programs themselves on depression and mental issues with endless ruminating on their misery.
That is literally caused by the depression. It isn’t people programming themselves into depression. It is the depression taking over a person’s life. It is a mental illness that needs addressing, yes. But it isn’t a self pity party. It has actually been scientifically proven that people with depression and/or anxiety (or the like, and especially severe), can’t think straight or rationally. It’s even down to a chemical imbalance in the brain. Thus why medication can help. Also, OP states she was diagnosed with CPTSD. Meaning she was abused and traumatized as a child. It is great that you don’t appear to suffer from these things (and I truly do mean that). But unfortunately, there are a lot of people who do. I’m only pointing this out, not to belittle you, but in the hopes that it helps you understand just a little bit better that these aren’t people wallowing in self misery. And hopefully widen your perspective.
@@synchronicityprod Do you unironically think emotions you expirience do not affect your mental and physical health whatsoever? And psychological trauma do not exist? Put this into paper bro u gotta win nobel prize for sure.
She in no way tried making the wedding about you. She wanted the bride to say whether or not her service animal could go to the wedding with her. No comprehension skills💀
She wasn't, she just for once anted her siblings or niece to be less cuntish and speck to her directly and not through their father. They apparently can't even do that.
Probably already paid for all travel and accommodations already + being too late to get their money back. Also just because their family probably won't care if their not there, doesn't mean that the OP won't care. Plus it might be some closure before they go no contract.
No. If the bride does not tell you, why believe your dad. I had so many family events I was not invited to. Found out my mom was telling people I couldn’t go because I had to work. I was 15 and had a job but if any of them had bothered to check they would have known McDonald’s wasn’t open on Easter (example). I was home alone in my room. I was a child and would go days with no human contact.
That's horrible. Sorry, you had to go through that.
I thought this was gonna be a suicide story at first and I was so scared and sad for her, thankfully it wasn’t. And so, while this is still horrible, at least it’s not that.
I need to know this person is okay. What a heartbreaking story!
The only update i got rn is:
Op went to the wedding and it went how she thought it would go, the bride felt bad saying no, the MIL didn’t even speak to her, her own brother only tiptoed around the subject only to spit out a weak " sorry about all the dog stuff " as he said goodbye.
No confrontation, nothing.
Also, her father gives her some updates but yea..that’s it
I’m pretty sure it’s an AI generated gossip
Sooo. . . They all still talk to the father who cheated and broke the family. . . . but they resent and bully the innocent child who was born out of the affair???? Like wtf??? OP should gtfo from this family. I'm glad they got away from these people.
lol its quite telling honestly - dad prolly always came thru with it, and considering OP STILL wants to go he IS getting thru with it - OP still coming is enabling the behavior too
They cannot deny a service animal. It is against the law
It's actually not, for a private event
@@alexiaroberts1012 it is because this is a medical alert dog. Or do you not count panic attacks, which can cause heart attacks if severe enough, a medical problem?
@@lcrs5050your pretty dumb ngl. Public space/ venue. Doggy is allowed by law.
Private space / venue. Doggy no have rights.
You use common sense like grown up now yes?
@@alexiaroberts1012 a public-private venue it's not the same. Mind you it would have to take place in the US for these laws to be the same. Otherwise the laws would vary depending on where the wedding is going to be. But it's a medical dog not an emotional support dog. Being able to deal with panic attacks is a medical necessity because it can put stress on the heart and cause other issues a lot of people with severe anxiety also have heart problems so you need to release stress as much as possible... It can actually kill you but you need to have it severely but having these sorts of panic attacks with a dog of this nature means that you have it bad enough. To be fair he clearly stated it was a medical necessity and a service dog!
@@misscheesecake7282 😅 if the venue space can be rented then in fact they cannot do that. If it's a venue mind you. It is a medical necessity it is not emotional support animal which have limited access again this would have to be in the US... It depends on where they're having the wedding. But you seem pretty ignorant of US law! A private home and a private venue that you rent out are very different the word private for venue means that you can tell people they can't come but they can't as the venue tell someone a medical necessity can't be there! You really need to do more research
Bless your heart. That hurt me to even hear. I am very empathic and also have a furry soul mate. How heart breaking on so many different levels.
God, taking out your anger on a child (blaming OP for for the ending of two different marriages because of their birth is taking anger out on kids, you cannot tell me otherwise) is terrible parenting, you are a terrible parent, and nothing you say will make me think otherwise. I’m sorry to the OP that they had to go thru this, they don’t deserve the crap their family has put them thru. They didn’t ask to be born, why put all of the hate onto them?? Disgusting, shouldn’t have had kids
Her Mum died when she was 5 and she lost several other caregivers. It seems to be her own generation that are holding the grudge. They abused her so much that she remains mentally ill from it and now they can't cope with her neurodiverse behaviour that they caused? Special place in hell with the perverts.
If the bride doesn’t tell you directly, you’ve no way of knowing she’s her mind. Would tell dad directly that unless the bride tells you that, talking, you’ve now way of knowing you’re. Or being lied to.
And if the bride does cancel it, just say ok, you acknowledge that she’s changed her mind and no longer find my service dog who keeps me safe acceptable.
And then just don’t go. Don’t tell anyone you’re not going, just don’t go. When people freak out and get angry about you not showing up, it’s a simple “you didn’t want me there, because you didn’t want me safe there”
There's no reason for you to go to the wedding at this point. You'll be stressing yourself out and, like you said, they won't notice (or care).
A normal person would have cut ties years ago. It's strange how the whole family blames the one person who wasn't in anyway responsible for the affair. They still talk to the cheater but not his child. I hope OP finally moved on. Not sure why you would go to a wedding where you are disliked by just about everyone for just existing.
The baby always gets blamed. That's why they get rid of them.
@@irisvm3901 what didn't you understand my words were clear.
Dont go at all, they dont care they never will. Dont waste your time, drop all contact. If they cry about it thats on them
There are two types of family: Family by blood and family by choice. Family by choice is - or at least should be - more important to you **because you chose them.** Family by blood can be part of family by choice, so both groups share one feature... Once you stop CARING about them, they aren't family anymore. You can block them out of your life, out of your mind, and move on. They're "someone I used to know."
Family is who you make it; kin are those who can ask something of you; relatives are just accidental connections that really don't mean much.
I wouldn’t even go to the wedding .
Have a successful career or a bunch of money, and you'll suddenly have their affection 😆😆😆
You didn’t break up 2 marriages your parents did.
It feels amazing once they're gone. The grief is hard but, the lesser evil once its all you have to deal with. You have moments where you question, hurt all over again, feel helpless all over again. I'd take that 1000x over if it meant the freedom from my family I now have. The best part is knowing they'll still blame me. Granted, i noticed thatd be the case long before I ended up leaving. Still, knowing that I've found peace while they continue to claim i ruined their perfect family lmao solely for being born last. I don't care if they notice. I don't care if they miss me. All I care about is that I took myself out of it. I got out, and I'm free. They'll keep going in the cycle till they choke out. Not my problem. I tried for 2 decades +to make it my problem, it will now forever be theirs
Same, I hear everything thing through my mother and they hear everything through her. So now I don't tell my mother much at all. I know when she dies no body will even know if I am dead or alive.
My wedding is coming up next year and one of my bridesmaid's has a service dog. Even while I'm planning everything for the big day, I'm such a people pleaser that I'm also thinking about what needs the friend has for on the big day. Do they need a wheelchair or something else to help them if they have a medical episode?
What the bride is saying THROUGH THE FATHER is disgusting to ask. I don't blame OP for cutting contact after all of this.
You are a gem and I’m sure your friend appreciates you.
@ChaoticAngelKitten they really do. They informed my partner and I about their condition prior to us making plans for the wedding so we were aware. And I see a reason why they shouldn't have those services accessible to them should they need them.
@@OmenofChaos4 you mean you don’t see a reason? But ya… it isn’t that big a deal and I don’t understand why the people in the story as such jerks.
@@ChaoticAngelKitten yeah, my finger must have misclicked.
@@OmenofChaos4 between my fumble fingers and my autocorrect, I usually have to edit my posts. XD
Damn I’m just starting to fully understand the dysfunction in my family. My father told me he it wouldn’t be worth the investment to buy a psychiatric dog to help with suicidal tendencies, autism, and executive dysfunction, crippling fatigue. When it came time for him to take initiative for his own actions and past mistakes, he threatens to Barr me from the family.
why even go after that I’d disappear right after that
If someone tells you who they are believe them.
They are AH for they way their treating op but if op goes to the wedding and makes a big scene they are just like the rest of the family
Sound like the dad is the only one who cares for OP, even a little.
That wasn't my take, my take is that he doesn't like OP and is extremely controlling.
@@komikbookgeekbut father was only one that communicated with her at all unless she spoke to them first and they had all bullied her into silence when they were kids.
@@suzannelaing2968 maybe? That's not how it felt/ read to me is all
their loss.
if they _(bride)_ aren't going to be straight with you
.. even your dad 'giving you the news' as someone's proxy and via email rather than face to face
.. then I say ghost them from the outset. just don't attend the wedding
I'd do the exact same if they can't be decent enough to tell you in person that the dig cannot be at the wedding then they don't deserve you in their life just leave it
Id do that. After my ex husband and I split, his family cut our kids out. And eventually him. I stayed away from family functions after the split bc it wasn't my place anymore to ride herd on him, that's what I told my former in-laws when my ex behaved badly at Christmas. And now my ex husband passed away and the in-laws haven't bothered to ask how his kids are or anything. Family is more than a title. You either are or you're not. And if you're lucky and strong you can make your own family.
My little family is doing better now and now love and support each other in a family we made. We are lucky.
I wouldn’t have gone myself, I’ve reached the point in my life where either I matter to you or I don’t. It’s just that simple. I won’t bend over for anyone unless they’re willing to try and be there for me when I need them
“They are never going to respect me the way i crave them to?” You answered your own question. Why not attempt to redirect your cravings.
Nah. The only family I talk to per se is my parents and that's like maybe once or twice a month. I stay clear of that drama
Frankly I wouldn't even bother going to the wedding anything question why I would say because you're not family we're not friends restraints and you have done this I'm tired of being the only one putting the effort in and I would literally state that one of them have already confirmed that they resent me from even existing which confirms the fact that the rest that are treating me the exact same as them feel the exact way about me even though I never asked to exist I never asked to be born if someone Couldn't Keep it in their pants and didn't want me they should have aborted me the one that is innocent in the whole affair but no you chose to torture me for the rest of my life so cutting all ties and we'll probably be cutting legal ties as well so if any s*** hits the fan later on in life you can't come asking me for help because we're biologically related which can actually be done since it is very much obvious that I am not wanted in this family you had options you can have picked abortion or sending me to an orphanage you chose neither and chose to mentally abuse me along with the rest of them to the point where I need a service dog not only that a service dog is required to be allowed in everywhere since it is against the law to deny a service dog but like said that's just what I would say at the end of that I would literally end the call and go right ahead and start making those preparations cut all ties completely with that toxic family who blames a innocent child for the family fallen apart because like said they had a three options abortion or giving up for adoption or actually accepting the child is family but no hey captain and mentally abused it to the point it needs a service dog so yeah I would have ever used to cut all contact and ties to that family long before this
Wow, if that was my wedding. My request would be that we find the puper the best looking bowtie we can find. Dogs are better than people and most of my family.
I feel this. I don’t know if my family will even know when I get married or have kids just because they've been so horrible and toxic to me I don't want my child to have the CPTSD I have from them. If anything happens to us they go to my man friends because they'd, without hesitation, raise the child like their own. They're my only family now though my parents and grandparents are still alive. They think I cut them out but give me little to no effort when I make attempts to reach out.
Yeah this is why you simply do not ask about disability aids. Because it is not optional if I showed up at someone’s wedding and they tryed to tell me I can’t have have my disabilty aids I would be like oh okay why did you invite me if you wanted me to only bring part of me?
A normal person may not see my collar plush or headphones as nessary or part of me but with out those things I will get over whelmed and start having my tics happen and I garentie you that me yelling out and twitching will be much more distracting than me holding a plush and wearing headphones
So, obviously, something like headphones is pretty hard to protest. But what if the mother of the groom is highly allergic to dog fur, and you have an ESA dog? in that case, I _do_ feel it's legit to say 'I'd like you there, but I cannot risk my grooms mother's life. If you cannot wear items that are dog-hair free and attend without the animal we understand' in a general sense.
@MrWGwinn there could be ways around that. Have your service dog groomed the night before/right before and change into a clean outfit at the venue to avoid accidental doggie glitter. And don't stay the entire time
@@Drummerchef13and what about people with phobias of dogs?
@mb-rc4zu reasonable accommodation would be having it wear a muzzle along with not staying the whole time. Properly trained Service dogs don't wander while they are working
Thing is i feel like they will notice, they'll notice that they've lost their personal organic punching bag and the person they could lay blame on all their ills and woes upon. If they truly dont care? Then cool, they get to be free of their "burden" and OP gets to be free of HER burden. If they do care enough to start wailing about OP leaving, then honestly good, let them scream and cry, theyre absuive narcissistic freaks of nature who dont deserve any niceness. They made the mistake of cheating, OP isnt at fault for any of that, and they cam scream-cry at a wall of they seriously want someone to listen to their incessant whining
Why even go to the wedding
Wow. Like, obviously the bride was ok with it in the beginning, then the MOB complained and made it a big deal, when it really wasn’t. I think the bride just couldn’t stand up to her mom and couldn’t face him after saying yes, but she should’ve told him herself at least!! I hope they all realize what total dipshits they’ve been to him for absolutely no reason that was actually his fault!!
I don’t go to pre-divorces any more, I know the outcome and I’m not going to contribute my time effort or money to the poor guys downfall whom ever the guy is.
Jesus dude you’re jaded
Imma start using that phrase "pre-divorces" 😆😆😆 As someone who's a little bit cynical I like it
@@sparkson1How can they not be? Look at the Relationship world and say to a Man's face that its worth it
@@Pherim_ I’m a married man, boss
I don't see all weddings as pre-divorces, but you know the difference if you really know the couple. When you have a bride or groom who looks at it as "My Special Day" (as in, "I don't care about my partners' wishes for the day") it is 100% a pre-divorce. It's not being jaded. It's understanding that some people only get married because it's expected of them because they've been together for so long or some other b.s.
I feel like it might just be me, but I swear I feel like there has to be more to this story.
Create the family you want❤
I wouldn't even go to the wedding. You do create the family you want. I don't speak to most of my family of origin, but I have friends and my children and grandchildren so I don't need my siblings and extended family
Hopefully she updates after all this and how life is going
OP should've just ignored everyone else and tell them "you have zero say on this, only the bride does"
I was expecting this to be a suicide note
Family might mean everything to you, but clearly, you mean nothing to them. My own answer was to change my definition of family so it does not automatically include blood relations.
You have your family with you. He looks after you, and you look after him. *That* is *family!*
I will say goodbye to them and live my life as I see fit
They will when they need money from you!
Conclusion???? Up date!!!!
if they can't support you at your worst, they don't deserve you at your best.
Is this the best?
If I was you I wouldn’t even go to the wedding and just live your life you really don’t need those kind of people
Part 3? I hope this doesn’t end their
Please tell me you're still bringing the dog. She never said you couldn't.
She literally said u can say no, just say so. Pretty pathetic on the family
don't go, screw bad families life is too sort to waste on people that can't even take the time of day to say they don't like you to your face.
I dare to say the dad is lying because he just hates dogs like mine does
He wants to continue to shift the blame for his affair so the family won't set him on fire. OP is getting blamed for existing and sperm-donor is a cowardly raging narcissist who would rather throw OP under the bus than admit he screwed up.
Though I would tell you not to go to the wedding, I think you glossed over an important part.... how did you ruin two marriages?
By being born. She was an affair child.
@@Sam-ql4ze ah, I misunderstood that part. I could have understood one marriage, but for 2, my mind didn't register complications with an affair.
@@Maninawig if both parents were having an affair with each other, and it's revealed to both marriage partners, that's two broken marriages.
@Maninawig
She didn't. Not the child's fault her parents couldn't control their lust.
Umm- how did commenters below get the part about how OP is the child of an affair? I did not get that from this.
This video is part 2. There's a part 1.
Updates?
Probably not.
Op sounds like my ex girlfriend with some issues (she’s autistic)
I wonder why it's so difficult for affair babies to realize that they are resented? Yes, it's not the child's fault but they are the physical manifestation of some people's pain. No matter how hard you try, they don't want that reminder. Realizing that will let you let go and be a lot happier.
I feel it’s easy for us to say that from the outside but for those living in that situation there must be something that makes them keep trying until something big happens. To us with good families we could drop that kind of bad families because we know what a good set of parents can be but for her the only thing she knows is being isolated
Your mother should have let you go before the 4th month
Yes because it's not like the now adults need to be responsible for dealing with their own trauma by going to therapy rather than punching down at their sister.
From the childs perspective, they see a group who is supposed to love and protect them. Instinctively, they will keep trying over and over again until it either clicks in their mind or they just d!e from exhaustion over the effort. Humans are social creatures, we are wired to behave this way, no matter how odd it seems from the outside. It is all we've ever known, after all, so we can't be expected to understand that this isn't normal (I'm not an affair child, I'm just breaking down the psychology and defaulting to a first person perspective)
this sounds sorta ai generated
I wonder if at Judgement Day and the family is overlooked would their be any self awareness? I mean we still fret on capital punishment over “the chair, the injection, the gas, the etc is just too good, too over too quickly. What did you do to make them that way? Very carefully look to see, if nothing found, cut off with impunity.
She says in Part 1 that she was the result of an affair that broke up 2 marriages but still the family hate her despite it not being her responsibility.
Yes, it IS an odd request and OP DID say s/he didn't need the dog to be there. And the dog doesn't care, of course. Though he'd like the steak. So there's a perfectly good argument for saying OP should have backed down and not cut ties afterward. S/he expressly said s/he does not need the dog to be at the wedding. S/he just dug in heels. The flip side is that the bride originally said Yes It was reasonable to regard that as agreement, and as final. And since MOTB did not mention anything about allergies, canine phobia, or other possible issue, sounds like she was just being a b*tch. Bride should probably have stood up to her. For that matter, Dad should have stood up to what I presume to be his sister or SIL.
There’s no good way to argue that op shouldn’t have cut ties afterwards. Her family doesn’t care about her so why should she?
once again this creator tells a bad half-finished story
is there more to the story that you know?
Family is blood only. You choose your friends and people you care about.
"The Blood of The Coven is thicker than the water of the womb" I think the fancy way of saying it.
Family is comprised of those who truly care about you. Biological relatives who don't care about you are NOT Family.
covenant, not coven
When i hear stories that drip self-pity like this i cant help but think a lot of people programs themselves on depression and mental issues with endless ruminating on their misery.
That is literally caused by the depression. It isn’t people programming themselves into depression. It is the depression taking over a person’s life. It is a mental illness that needs addressing, yes. But it isn’t a self pity party.
It has actually been scientifically proven that people with depression and/or anxiety (or the like, and especially severe), can’t think straight or rationally. It’s even down to a chemical imbalance in the brain. Thus why medication can help.
Also, OP states she was diagnosed with CPTSD. Meaning she was abused and traumatized as a child.
It is great that you don’t appear to suffer from these things (and I truly do mean that). But unfortunately, there are a lot of people who do.
I’m only pointing this out, not to belittle you, but in the hopes that it helps you understand just a little bit better that these aren’t people wallowing in self misery. And hopefully widen your perspective.
@@themayhemofmadness7038genuinely the most important and thoughtful comment ive EVER read on this app, thank you
Did you pass biology?
@@synchronicityprod Do you unironically think emotions you expirience do not affect your mental and physical health whatsoever? And psychological trauma do not exist? Put this into paper bro u gotta win nobel prize for sure.
Not your wedding do not be that person and someone else’s wedding about you
She in no way tried making the wedding about you. She wanted the bride to say whether or not her service animal could go to the wedding with her. No comprehension skills💀
She wasn't, she just for once anted her siblings or niece to be less cuntish and speck to her directly and not through their father. They apparently can't even do that.
That’s your take away?
how is that what you heard.
You're one of the family members aren't you
Time to grow up and be an adult lady
Tell that to the family.
Why still go to the wedding?
Final goodbye
Cake
@@judochopmaster8233 you got the real priorities here 😂
Probably already paid for all travel and accommodations already + being too late to get their money back. Also just because their family probably won't care if their not there, doesn't mean that the OP won't care. Plus it might be some closure before they go no contract.
@@judochopmaster8233 yes cake is for life