Jimmy Kimmel Tells All the Trump Colonoscopy Jokes He Never Got to Make
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- Опубліковано 14 тра 2024
- We got a fresh batch of inside info about Donald Trump in a new bombshell book from former Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham, Trump got a colonoscopy without anesthesia so late night hosts wouldn’t make fun of him, Jimmy does all of the Trump colonoscopy jokes we were deprived of, California became a vote-by-mail state, Eagles QB Jalen Hurts gave an interesting postgame interview after losing to the Cowboys, we play a round of “Medical Sales Rep or Personal Trainer” in honor of “The Bachelorette” contestants being announced, Elon Musk is the World’s Richest Person again, Tucker Carlson got all fired up about a masked nativity scene for sale, and we look back a year ago this week for a new installment of “This Week in COVID History.”
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About Jimmy Kimmel Live:
Jimmy Kimmel serves as host and executive producer of Emmy®-nominated “Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” ABC’s late-night talk show. “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” is well known for its huge viral video successes, with over 11 billion views and more than 15 million subscribers on the show’s UA-cam channel. Some of Kimmel’s most popular comedy bits include “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets,” “Lie Witness News,” “Unnecessary Censorship,” “Halloween Candy UA-cam Challenge,” and music videos like “I (Wanna) Channing All Over Your Tatum.” - Комедії
Biden telling Trump to shut up in such a pissed off yet calm way was a classic on it's own
❤😂
Yes and adult speaking to child
Loved President Biden quietly telling Trumpty to shut up.
Loved that! I can still see and hear it. 👍
That really cracked me up when Biden told the mouth that roared to shut up. 😂😂😂
The best part about a Trump colonoscopy joke was he was apparently afraid of people making jokes about it.
That makes any joke appreciated in my book.
🤣 the hardest part was getting the camera past pences nose 🐽! I died
Like I wouldn't watch this show when jimmy was on vacation that's how much I love him he cracks me up thank God for jimmy Kimmel
Never too late to dump on Trump, Jimmy!
it was a beautiful colonoscopy, the most perfect in history of colonoscopies like nobody has ever seen or will see.
You made me laugh! Thanks! Sounds just like him 😂
Lol
He invented colonoscopies.
@Micheal Connor 😂😂 We all know Trump's tired old script.
Everyone of you commenting below really knows for sure who Trump is.
😂 😂 Always lifting himself to where he doesn't belong. " Believe me, nobody ever knew about this but me" he says
Just as no one else knew a hurricane could be extended with a SHARPIE.
I'm a endoscopy specialist. Thanks for the jokes.
Jimmy you are the gift that keeps on giving ❤... every once in a while I take a trip down memory lane watching old Jimmy Kimmel monologues. Thanks ❤️💙🇺🇸
The colonoscopy jokes cracked me up !! Thank you Jimmy Kimmel !
Man. Rimshot after rimshot.
It was something i didn't know I needed.
Humor keeps us going
We all found out what Trump was full of.
The colonoscopy anaesthesia was the best experience ever. Well deserved after the horrible prep.
Keep doing this week in COVID history I love that
His duty to make doody jokes😂😂😂😂😂
Gotta admit ... best colonoscopy jokes ever.
*Watching you Jimmy from my Cave here in Kenya, Africa* 🇰🇪 🇰🇪
u renting space? getting sick of my country, rather put my energy into something else.
@@tempusfugit9009 🤣🤣
Best Wishes fron Hogtown, Florida.
A cave is sounding real nice & safe to an American Democrat these days!?!?
God Bless❤✌🤗🤙
Aloha from Hawai'i 🏝🤙🇺🇸
So funny! Loved every joke at McCheeto fart nugget's expense. 😆
This was brutal AND SO AWESOME! The jokes are not even outdated!
how are you doing today?
"And discovered two cancerous polyps... (cut to Jr. and Eric!)" LMFAO!
Robin Holliday.. . Don't forget his little princess
ivanka!
@@atlanticbeach4682 better than crack head hunter
@@atlanticbeach4682 She can be the hemorrhoid😉
Could you imagine anybody talking about ANY OTHER PRESIDENT of America in this way and being right? Seriously?
As he sowed, so does he reap.
It's been done for decades! Haven't you seen all the other Presidents roasted? SNL started in 1975; they're infamous for making fun of Presidents🤣
This makes America great by being able to laugh at ourselves! Freedom of speech.
donald just think one day you will make people very happy.....
Right now he’s just a recurring nightmare.
I can... especially if it was president Marlene
he really has great writers! I loved this episode - Who knew that colonoscopy can be fun!
Thank you for not wasting this opportunity.
The Trump colonoscopy jokes start at 3:50. They are absolutely hilarious!
😂 the colonoscopy procedure and comments !!
God bless Jimmy Kimmel!!! Thank you for making me laugh. I gave you 2 Standing ovations.
God bless AMERICA and make it great again ! No matter how many people don't want AMERICA to be great AGAIN
@@jeffmoore4483that’s what Biden’s doing. Making it great again after that Trump train derailment.
I could not stop laughing at the colonoscopy jokes! The BEST!!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
2020 almost seems like urban legend now...
What the HELL did we just live thru?! 🤯
Whoever came up with that “augered his innards” line... Give them a raise!
It is sooo amazingly hilarious! I can't stop laughing
"He is fine, what a relief... Thanks Satan" lol, I laughed so hard I scared everyone at home
The week in covid history clips are quite good, a stroke of genius. Who knew they'd be so intriguing to watch after all this time.
Your the BEST JIMMY KIMMEL....
Keep those Jokes rolling, roll him (D.T) up and out of this Country, PLEASE!
you child
@@stinkypinky1934A CHILD OF GOD! YES! ABSOLUTELY!
you are the company you keep! Remember THIS! I CAN ONLY PRAY FOR YOU TOO FIND/SEE THE LIGHT! 😇🙏
Watching tucker that mad just gives me peace ✌️
So mad about nothing, as usual.
He made me almost want to buy a candle
@@vsedai He made me want to buy 12 sets of each nativity set. That way for the 12 days I can mail him a new set-after I "customize" the masks, of course!
Then he'll have DHS investigating me! Lol!
There's a really good profile of him, in all his vileness, in this month's New Republic.
Tucker Carlson is mad man.
I love Jimmy Kimmel.
Nothing surprises us at all about trump
So now Trump can brag about having the best Colonoscopy that doctor's have ever seen. 😋😅
Gross
And found a brain cell🤪
So beautiful
He probably did brag about that. He's such a narcissist
Bigly! 😂😂😂
Jimmy K we miss you it seems like you were gone for a long time. Just thought I should let you know how much you are so loved by all, except Trump.
"...new book about Donald Trump. You remember that guy?"
I'VE BEEM TRYING TO FORGET HIM FOR THE LAST 5 YEARS!!
Important to remember him so we can be assured of "NEVER AGAIN".
I demand Jimmy's wife to come give her her view on the candidates of the Bachelorette again! Oh and all the tRump jokes were just perfect!
Ahhhh Bidens "Will you shut up man..." Was and still is epic. That night was so embarrassing.
It was that night that I knew Trump lost. He no longer had any control and in his mind he was still arguing with Hillary.
The real embarrassment began when Ronald Reagan was elected...
L
nah.. Biden didnt want Trump to have the most embarrassing moment so we now have Sept 11, 2021 images from Afghanistan . Every month since January he has added a better set of images :-) Those of you so proud you voted for Biden should send a letter to the families of the fallen Marines telling them how proud you are of your very wise decision making :-)
@@alwayscheckthisstuff494 and of course, we can also put in the letter the adroitness of "Mr. art of the deal" don the con , in the Doha agreement in February 2020, releasing almost 6k of Taliban forces including the Leader of the Taliban himself, and not including the government of Afghanistan in the negotiations. Yes sir, a Damn shrewd piece of negotiation! He's a shoo in for the Nobel peace prize on that. right up there with building the wall with Mexico, and Mexico will pay for it! BTW how much are you idiots giving to a millionaire narcissist to " stop the steal"?🤣 like Homer Simpson said "cmon let's really get stupid..."
Every one of those colonoscopy jokes had me falling on the floor laughing!!!😂😂😂😂😂
So you got up immediately after falling, so you could fall again for the next one?
Impressive!
He cuts his own hair? But he claimed $70,000 on his taxes for hair maintenance 👨🔧
That was for the weaves.🤣
Or his wife and daughters. His hair... he takes it off, then cuts it, then puts it back on.
@@s4lroachclip 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
His baby hands couldn't work a pair of safety scissors
@@reganleblanc3606 😂😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣
Love you Jimmy and your huge heart! Bless you.
Hats off Jimmy and writers..LMFAO!!!
My first colonoscopy was without anesthesia. I wanted to watch and I did enjoy the show. Fascinating. Afterwards, they gave me pictures.
you truely have gone where no one has gone before and seen things no one has seen before!......you are a new world explorer!
I asked the doctor if he could take a picture 3 inches before they inserted the tube. When asked why I said I needed an attachment to my letter of resignation from a lousy job.
good for you
Loved the colonoscopy jokes! GREAT! Hope Trumper sues for defamation of character as I am sure that Kimmel's legal team will drag that suit out forever and expose the Trumper that 'he has no character' - thus has no lawsuit.
trump was so childish that he tried to get late night comedians and SNL canceled and taken off the air. Talk about a Dictator.
Should start doing a "this week in Fox News" as well. This monologue was a classic though. Great job.
Lincoln Party has a “Last Week in the Republican Party” series on their channel. It’s funny/ mortifying.
Keep speaking the truth Jimmy!!
Speaking the truth you are joking right? Lol
@@dnlprls Yeah I hear you but it's not a joke. These comedians on the TV actually tell more truth than someone like Trump, Former President of the United States. I hear you, it's mind blowing that Comedians would be telling more truths than what you would hear from a place that calls itself Fox News, Fox NEWS. But when Fox News go to court they make sure that they tell the Judge that it's not news that it's entertainment. Alex Jones was saying the same thing when he was in front of the Judge when his kids were taken away. Let me ask you, just because i'm curious, What Did Jimmy say that wasn't the truth in your mind?
@@bluntfruntac9981 If you really believe that Kimmel is telling the truth and has no bias. Then I really do not need to explain anything to you because you will never understand but one side, and that is yours.
@@dnlprls then stop watching jimmy. Duh. They crack jokes on truths. Lizzo said truth hurts!!! He makes fun of Biden too so why are you butt hurt( ha like what I did there) colonoscopy hurts!!!!!!!! Lmao
I am not a Trumper but its having a medical investigation for health. I wouldnt laugh at anyone having a procedure.
Those writers are working overtime Jimmy, keep it up
Jimmy is getting "Nasty" and I love it! 🤣
Oh good.. A new book... Excellent timing... I was running low on toilet paper...
The perfect end to a butt joke is a rim shot.
HAHA
HAHAHA!!!!!
Lemons favorite or a wrap around , I mean circle back. Ask Jen.
Your pun was a bit of a reach (...around)
thats rim job in this context.
Your awesome jimmy!
Tucker Carlson the only human who doesn't understand sarcasm... well, humor in general 🤣
Or anything, really
@@doralisapilarte7752 🤣 indeed
He's just jealous cause he doesn't have a candle.
I love, love, love Jimmy K!!! U r so smart, respectful, kind, brave and funny as hell!!! Great job Jimmy!!
Wait. Trump cuts his own hair with giant scissors? Didn’t he write off like 70K of his taxes for his hair maintenance as a business expense? 🤦♀️
Thats the grift
That's easy to explain:
He hired Edward Scissorhands to do it.
Really Really nice scissors ✂️
YES!! He did claim an extraordinary amount for this. Is someone saying he may have may possibly have committed tax fraud?
@@ericdickerson7656 lmao🤣🤣
i knew as soon as that colonoscopy story dropped. it would be revelled in tonight.😂
I had one today no problem. As an older man it is wise to get one's plumbing checked. Glad I lived in Australia and it was free. It was great being under antensia I remember nothing.
Colbert did them too. Gold.
Yeah... because the phony Kimmel can't talk about anything other than Trump. God forbid he discuss the disaster that is a 9 month long Biden abortion.
I have long since stopped reading any book about Donnie. But this Grisham book I might read because of the funny snippets we got so far 🤣
One of my Facebook memories from today, "Will you shut up, man..."
Hope you warned that guy before blowing up his etsy store XD
Lol. This week in covid history is gold!
The Bible says in John 3:16-36 that whoever believes in the Lord Jesus Christ shall not perish but have everlasting life, the Bible also says in Romans 10:9 that those who declare with their mouth that Jesus Christ is their God, Lord, and Savior they shall be saved. Revelation 1:8 says that Jesus is the alpha and the omega. Luke and revelation is the ending times, and Jesus is returning back. So are you going to submit your life to him or no? Narrow is the path that leads to the gates of heaven, but only few people find it. The gates that is the path to destruction is where many people find it! Jesus loves you SO MUCH! That he died on the cross, and was resurrected from the dead 3 days later to give us eternal life…. So
Trump couldn’t have had a heart attack or a stroke, you need a heart and a brain respectively first!
Trump is all three characters from Oz: tin man, scarecrow and lion rolled into one. No heart, no brains and no courage.
@@hubertsang7418 you left out the wicked witch - ugly and evil.
You're projecting.
@xxxRadarxxx
Haa !!! Loved all repies too...
(Except the last fudger on here⬆️)
If he can make president without a brain and here you have a brain and have accomplished nothing, where does that put you?.
Jimmy, you and all on your show are hilarious and thank you for calling out how inept and moronic our former disgraced pres is !
Great show!
Seth Meyers used to be my favorite but he delivers his monolog so fast it gives me anxiety. Now Jimmy, you are my favorite, you are so chill and funny and you talk at a normal human speed
I feel the same way!!! I used to enjoy both, but Seth talks like he is trying to fit a book into 3 minutes!
If you watch on youtube you can slow the speed
geee! grandma! You are making Jimmy look old!
Same here... he used to deliver his monologue and would have me dying laughing.:: one day I clicked on and it was like he was on speed. He reminds me of Steve Miller ... he would ramble on fast with these jokes snd analogies that just went over the head and made you anxious.... exhausting.
I wish he would go to back to his regular delivery.
Thank God for youtube
I can watch Jimmy Kimmel Seth Meyers and Colbert within half an hour
Jimmy can roast sooooooo effin well XD
Tucker being vaccinated while railing against the vaccine has got to be the best irony. 😂 Fox requires the vaccine while at the same time allowing this waste of air to cry foul. 🤣😂
Kimmel? Agreed. Total bag of contractually obligated air. “Let them die” he said. Will never watch another clip of that divisive nonsense again. I’m not a trump supporter at all. But he wasn’t the divisive one. These guys are. Obviously.
@@UFwho More MAGA whining
@@lazerlord9324 And lies
@@UFwho Uh huh. The Orange Squatter in the WH called the Nazis marching in Charlottesville "very fine people," and fueled and supported an attempted coup on our government because the terrorists are in his corner. Keep drinking that MAGA kool-aid
@@blackeyedsusan727 you’re right. “Very fine people” is much worse than “let them die”. Thank you for reminding me. Enjoy your toxic media. Cheers
Stephanie Grisham is alot better at dishing dirt than she was at being a press secretary. I'm glad she's dishing! 😝
This week in Covid history. Gold 👌
How did 14 mins go by so quickly? Time sure does fly when you're having fun. Thanks for that Jimmy.
Jimmy - You killed it tonight. I couldn't stop laughing.
Your great ever night but tonight was so much fun. Thanks
Love you Jimmy and Guillermo! 🤗💖💖💖
Guillermo's laugh and smile always give me a happy chuckle.
@@debstrzelecki2485 Me too.
Jimmy always making me laugh
The cut away to tucker “priceless” lmao
''This week in covid history'' it is like a series mann!!! Every episode gets better! Thanks Jimmy and team!
The episodes could each be three to four times longer with all the failure to act, failure to comprehend, failure to care about the American people, and all the sadistic smirks and sadistic profiteering by the parasite career politicians, and their bribery paying constituency of billionaires and corporations.
they should show those in school in history class!
In two hundred years historians will watch it and think it’s just satire. They will undoubtedly think that no crisis could have been handled that poorly by functioning adults. I even watch it now in disbelief. But it happened. All of it.
@@alexaales7937 Definetly, and include the commentator's voice!
Always love to hear what Jimmy Kimmel has to say about Trump, just by ripping on him so many times lol
The real problem was "45" was constipated and needed a deep cleaning.
Pukepootin is personally performing colonosco-spying on T-rump to find the secret gov. document that he stole .
When Jimmy said, “escape rooms” I heard “skate brooms”. I was definitely having a “wtf does Chris like?” moment. 🤔🤣
Skate brooms!😂 That's funny! I too suffer from selective hearing. Someone says something to me, but I hear different words.
Who can’t wait for “telling my kids I ate all there candy”. 😂 it annoys me but I love it
I can imagine what the doctor thought. We're going to need a bigger spoon !
A bigger auger.
I got a colonoscopy about 50 years ago. They didn't offer any anesthesia. They just said "hold still!"
What are you..a hundred?🤔🖖
@@danielgregory3295 70.
But I feel like I'm 99,if that helps.
@@outlawbillionairez9780 Sorry to hear that...it just sounded as if the test 50 years ago was the only one..(my doc wants me every 5 years)😟🏥 be safe!
@@danielgregory3295 if you have any family history, stay on it!
I'm lucky to be in good health. I don't take it for granted. 👍☮️
Somebody needs to create a This Week in Covid History compilation video. I just love these skits.
I need that Jimmy Kimmel candle
Doctor: Relax Mr Trump. Just imagine I’m the leader of North Korea
Trump: Ohhhhhhh, do me big boy. Do me like you did in Vietnam. Take me roughly from behind.
Doctor: Dial it back a little, ya freak. I’m not nearly drunk enough for this.
I love it, just made my Day.
I clicked on the "Subscribe" button, and one of my enemies was destroyed. Thank you, Jimmy!
And lmao, that's why we line Jimmy 🤣, we have to do it lol
"This Week In COVID History" is THE BEST!!! I can watch it all day!
Love you Jimmy Kimmel, your show is terrific. Best Talk show on air right now. 👍🤗😇❤️💙
He is great but... John Oliver would like to have a word with you...
I agree, but Colbert is nipping at his heels. The writing on both shows is terrific.
In what way? He’s garbage now
@@seththomas1150 There is no such syndrome. It's a made up phrase for tRump's cult members to use because they can't think for themselves.
@@geza1014 Yet you're here . Why be a troll?
One of the best moments in 2020:
“Will you shut up man!”
Oh my gosh, that was so funny. I remember watching that happen on live TV🤣.
My sister typed a letter that said: "Two words to describe the 2020 election: 'Oh God.'"😂
That's what Biden said when Trump started ranting again. Trump cannot keep his tiny mouth shut.
Jimmy Kimble always look spiffy in his suits🔥🔥
When the doctor told Trump that he had polyps, Trump replied, "Of course I wear pull Ups. Couldn't you tell just by looking at my pants?
🤣
Great job Jimmie
You are gifted Jimmy. Great show all the time👍🏽👌🏽❤️
Absolutely love this guy!
@@seththomas1150 bro he's still talking about trump while biden sleeps during press conferences, he must really miss him and these people who are still fans of kimmel are low iq losers
Putin laughed and replied back "shut up and dance puppet"
The photo of Uday and Qusay (aka: DJT Jr and Eric) as the polyps was priceless.
Something I never thought I'd say but I need that Tucker Carlson shirt
I wonder if it comes as a bumper sticker?!
I’m joining that club😹😹😹😹
😂😂🤦🏼♀️
I want the Jimmy Kimmel candle!
Mar-A-Lago Fats would have live streamed it with play-by-play commentary by him if he could have made a buck off of his colonoscopy. 👀
*Fish-eyed lens view of Trump talking silently into the colonoscope... looking strong! 💪 Then the quick, teasing reveal of the royal cheeks that Lindsey Graham knows intimately... then a plunging real deep look into 'Murica's seat of power!*
The best colon the doctor has ever seen. Some are saying the best colon in human history.
@@FrankBenlin It was the biggest! No one has ever seen such a big colon! Who knew such a large colon existed!?
👏👏👏💪💪😅🇺🇸🇮🇹❤️Way to Go Jimmy, we love you!
3:56 I laughed so hard, I scared my cat 😯
"Elon Musk has more money than Greece" 🙁 disgusting but probably true.
I can confirm not only is it true, it's a gross understatement. 😶
Not his fault though. People keep buying the stock. He’s the major shareholder of the company. His wealth is just a result of what he risked his entire fortune on. Or as the logic goes: High risks, high rewards, low risks, low rewards.
More money than lots of countries.
Is the money his or his shareholders?
@@rogerdodger8813 about 22% of it is technically his. Plus he owns a large chunk of space x privately.
You're my Hero Kimmel, GOD bless you
It's your duty Jimmie!!!
Memory was my audition song when I was younger. So many good memories....now completely destroyed forever. I'll never sing it again 🤣😂.