Human Boil Ted Cruz Starts Trouble with Jimmy Kimmel Again
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- Опубліковано 24 тра 2021
- Jimmy once again found himself in a squabble with Ted Cruz on Twitter last night, Governor Ron DeSantis signed a new law that would fine social media companies for permanently removing anyone who is running for office in Florida, Trump has a new ad on Newsmax begging for cash, Republicans in Congress finally came out against Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Holocaust comments, the Fox 4 News team in Dallas is the winner of our “Excellence in Reporting” award, California is currently experiencing a “Baby Bust,” and we look back a year ago this week for a new installment of “This Week in COVID History.”
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Jimmy Kimmel serves as host and executive producer of Emmy®-nominated “Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” ABC’s late-night talk show. “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” is well known for its huge viral video successes, with over 11 billion views and more than 15 million subscribers on the show’s UA-cam channel. Some of Kimmel’s most popular comedy bits include “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets,” “Lie Witness News,” “Unnecessary Censorship,” “Halloween Candy UA-cam Challenge,” and music videos like “I (Wanna) Channing All Over Your Tatum.” - Комедії
As someone who lives in TX hopefully we vote him out.
McKinney TX here. I agree with you!
Austin TX, I'm in
Dallas here. We were close with beto! I hope he runs again
HTX baby.
Arlington here, Greg Abbot gotta go too!
Set crusty Cruz straight Jimmy👏🙋💖
@@CalebAdams2002 No, you are for making a comment like that on a show you're not forced to watch.
Never mess with comedians!😁
We can still slap them though, right?
Ted has done more for TX s ,than you have . Jimmy.
@@marymorales9395 Yes absolutely in the form of embarrassment, you are correct.
@@marymorales9395 Ted sucks
@@marymorales9395
Did you mean to say TO Texas?
I am born and raised floridian and I cant wait to vote DeSantis out
...Happy voting !!! ; I would be careful , too many tricks in the past down 'der though . "W "s run in 2000 , or was it "H "s run , can't remember . Do the resident's of Florida have solar power devices down there yet ? ( if not ; ever wonder why ? )Good luck !!
Please. Please. Please.
We can't beg you enough to send DeSantis packing in disgrace!
My question is...who the hell voted him in??
@@davidwoods7408 ...Florida politics..careful they've long been ' 'crooked 'The GOP seems to embrace any method of getting their people into office , except running a legitimate , straight forward election ,'cuz they know no one in their right mind would vote for their policies .
@@SWHBOYCE Thank you. I did wonder about the demographics of Florida. Whats the literacy level there?
Florida needs a new governor
agreed. cant imagine how they dont feel shame
@Niamh De Na Crainn Arda On the direction of the changing world with more land base ice melting into ocean because of human consumption of fossil fuels and Co2. Yeah, Florida is going to be gone in this century.
Human boil?!?! I'm dead!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Did you notice the guys behind DeSantis who were laughing when he said this is for "all Floridians"??!! Even his own goons know better!!!!
Human boil... That is so Ted Cruz. Thank you, Jimmy.
I 👍 agree
AMEN!!!!👍👊Zane
Let's go Brandon!
_ Cancun cruz found lower in the rear and needs to be slapped with some "H" ❗
@@pete5819 Shut up, tedious troll….
"Human boil!" 🤣😂
I love you Jimmy.
I live in Florida and I agree with Jimmy!
LOL! I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. I have only gotten to where Kimmel answers Ted's first text. HA HA! Why would you be so stupid to keep annoying a professional comedian? LOL! I can see how furious he must have gotten.
I told him move on and you keep sending me texts
After a a shitty day,you have made me laugh , so thank you Jimmy,
you will have a lot of shitty days Thanks Joebama Live what you reap
Not much makes you laugh if you think he's funny
Amen to that remarks we can use a big laugh I love ❣️❤️❣️ Jimmy ....
Did she forget she was going to a courtroom. She dressed like she was going to a club to pick up a guy.
She's such a low life.
No amount of possible fun crazy is worth putting a letter in that mailbox.
I think she looks like she’s going to Walmart.... She is sooo awful!
😂
Club Walmart? Lol
"Human Boil Ted Cruz." That is so not right! Get rid of the Human part.
Brilliant comment. But he is so foul I bet hungry cannibals would not touch him when he is done cooking.
As opposed to someone like Kimmel?
@@SLAYERSWINE1 Too fatty. He's got a very protruding belly like Trump.
"Human Boil Ted Cruz " lol 😂
@@firestream93 Jimmy Kimmel got you here.
Love how she stopped picking up all the dog poop in the backyard to make it over to the council meeting..Whew..just in time! 😅
A few months ago Panocha Cruz and his family walked in to Carrabba's on Kirby and half the place booed him. It was sooo satisfying. They must be used to it cauae they sat and had dinner.
Oh Jimmy! You always crack me up! I love watching your monologues especially when it involves Cheeto and his embicilic followers!
That is a viscous slander of boils.
I have such a hard time believing that someone would give a "billionaire" money. Doesn't it give them pause to think that maybe he isn't a "billionaire" after all. Or that he is using them for free money? I don't get it. They must be really stupid.
So you don't understand politics at all then? Democrats raise new record amounts EVERY campaign cycle. Not aware of that? But please, continue to post your uneducated baseless thoughts. You all do.
they want favors and kickbacks so they give gifts in the form of money that isn't theirs to friends. as George Carlin said, its a big club and we anit in it.
@@myliver9149 Trump’s not raising money for anyone other than himself.
@@myliver9149 WAH WAH WAH! Give it up with the false equivalencies already.
Simple: they are
Man... I'm not going to Florida anymore... I've had enough of them.
I did not go to DC during the whole Trump period.
@@sct4040 hello buddy... how are you?
I understand exactly what you're talking about... I've been to DC twice... first, during the Obama administration and then during that dude's term.
And I'll tell you what... the second time around, even the energy was heavy, there were times when it was even hard to breath.
"Send your money" because I'm absolutely broke and I don't want to go to prison. Donald Dump
W:h:at:s:A:p:p..Me +1 :8:7:8:2:2:6:2:5:0:7
JUST 49 CENTS A DAY COULD HELP KEEP AN OLD MAN OUT OF PRISON!
PS, The Orange Orangutan!
Lmao 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 but how broke is broke to Trump.
Tronald Dump
You know what's really gross... MTG is a mother. She is raising kids! Lord help us and those poor children
They'll probably end up like Uday and Qusay Trump and their sister Complicity (thank you, SNL)
@@Mibbitmaker MTG is definitely capable of flying planes into buildings.
She doesn’t seem to spend much time with, so they may get a break?
Future mass-casualty suspects.
CPS might want to pay Leatherface a home visit. She really should not have procreated.
how elegantly she presents herself to the council meeting.
😂😂😂😂
Jimmy should be campaign manager for the dems! Just brutal - and hilariously true.
"Send the billionaire your money, dummies". LMAO!
sad part? millions will
Not a politician,there after us not him wake up
I want the link of that add lol
Like 100 million,don't forget all the votes they threw in the trash
🤣🤣🤣 that killed me
I feel bad for Marjorie Taylor Greens kids and I wouldn't want that lunatic teaching anyone anything!
Remember movie Carrie ? and her mom ?
She procreated? That's terrifying.
How high on meth must her boyfriend have been to tap that. I just vomited in my mouth thinking of that.
@@markfairbanks3533 surprisingly she has a husband and 3 kids. Btw she cheated on him with her personal trainer and was caught. I think the guy is scared to leave because of what she might do to the kids. Very disgusting woman.
@@4realfran i know she is married, but like many married men what they are married to now, is not what they walked down the isle. I'm assuming he has stopped being with her physically a long time ago and is still there to protect the kids, even though they may not be his. I know she has stepped out of the marriage and those are the guys I am referring to. I'd personally choose to put my manhood into a rusty meat grinder that has an occasional electrical short set to the slowest setting while i stand in a bucket of scalding water before entering that nut.
Remember guys, never nut in a nut..
This is why they hate us. They just don’t have the biting wit and satire on their side.
Nicely played, Jimmy! I saw it when it was current and I had to watch it again because it’s so darn funny.
Trish, that is exactly correct! The Republicans wouldn’t know biting wit or satire if they fell over it! Jimmy is hilarious 😂 🤣😂🤣
Now only if Americans, including the side you're talking of, would learn to direct the satire at themselves. It's so darn funny how incapable you are (Americans as a culture, not you specifically, I have to little info to make that determination) of self reflection and how quick you are to point to the other side...
@@Nemesis-pe7mw i’m not quite sure if you’re being critical of me or not, but I’ll tell you that I direct satire at myself all the time. That’s how I get through things. And I am always the first one to point out my own hypocrisies. Or at least I try to. But Americans - as a culture - certainly deserve a whole lotta opprobrium. Maybe the last truly great thing we did was the Berlin Airlift.
I think of Aaron Sorkin as our moral compass of how great we could be. But we’re bogged down by Puritans. We were founded by religious zealots and we’re still controlled by them. They’re ruthless and self-righteous. For me nothing is worth compromising my values, but for them the ends justify the means and they’re willing to look the other way and ignore moral values. “Christians “? I think not.
Right
@evaadams8298 😂😂😂😂😂 true
Love the part of his commercial send your money to me lol 😆 yeah right not getting my money
Comedians are fearless... Never pick a fight with a Comedian.
Yeah, it's suicide. Imagine if George Carlin was on Twitter...
Has Jimmy responded to Hannitys criticism? Ive been looking forward to that video.
There is nothing fearless about Kimmel, he is a corporate stooge.
They don't lose
🤬 Kimmel! He doesn't scared anyone!
By God, DeSantis is a first-class clown. Unbelievable.
No need to be jealous of the man, because he governs like a boss!!!!
@@richardhartman5032 Sure Jan 🙄 How about DeSatan is a beta male kissing a fake billionaire's wide orange a$$
@@richardhartman5032 In Cancun!
@@richardhartman5032 boss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????
@@richardhartman5032 A mafia boss, that is.
I watched that game and man was it humiliating and Jimmy was a damn good sport about it.
Guillermo would be hilarious if he were a comedian. Somebody get him the Steve Martin Master Class on comedy--puleeze.
Broad Topix is what you need ; Kim Congdon and Alex Scarlato " Get a hold up y'all get a hold up ..."
Love Jimmy!
At 8:10. I can't believe Marjorie Greene addressing a city council in short shorts and flipflops. That is just plain low class.
She's waiting for someone to say, 'Hey you sexy!'
she is GROSS
Marjorie Trailer Greene...
Omg😱 someone else felt that way!!!!
You should see the food-stained pajamas and slippers she wears to Walmart and casinos.
Love Jimmy Kimmel ❤
"Human Boil Ted Cruz" - priceless!
Lyin' Led Curse
She doesnt need a statue of Satan, just a mirror.
:) Priceless!
You must be referring to the mighty CH .
She (her hubby) bought a gym club so she could watch herself flex in the giant mirrors.
😮😮😮
@@stephenjacks8196 that being true is like WAW!!!!
Jimmy's strength is as the strength of ten. Because his heart is pure.
thanks for including "sir" in quotes. I'm glad you don't make assumptions about my gender! My sister is a Sara, no H. Good for you "miss!"
Reminds me of the famous exchange between Lady Astor and William Churchill. "Sir Winston, you're drunk." "Yes Lady Astor, but you're ugly, and I'll be sober tomorrow."
Oh, Jimmy, this was vicious. Love it !
Thanks again for saying what needs to be said allowing us to laugh at some really sad sick people. Your the Man
It's you're the man.
@@fostecc Thank you 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰!
"He always says the white thing " 🤣 you'er the man Jimmy 🤙🏽
Kimmel is great ! I am laughing ti tears.
Jimmy you make my day 💙 never stop ✋️
"Listen, do not teach about slavery!
Also, do not take down statue we need to remember our history."
said a hypocrite.
Ouiser Boudreaux (Shirley MacLaine-Steel Magnolias):
"He is a boil on the butt of humanity!"
Cheeto in Chief, Mar-A-Lardo, Weasel News ... damn ... your writers nailed it again Amazin'
I love how politically charged he has become. He doesn't give AF and he tells it how it is 🤘
I LIVE for these monologs! They cheer me the hell up when I have to hear about any of these slimeballs.
God bless you Jimmy! Keep exposing the hypocrites and lunatics with good humor!
Word! 💯
Agree with you Kimmel 💯% Spot on as always!
@@championette.. I agree , Championette !!!!
@@meridithgreen4873 And funny too !!! , welll , you gotta be these days , don't ya think ?
@S.W.H. BOYCE
Haha... you know it!! 😉
"He [Cruz] was Trump's Theon Greyjoy." 🎯
😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love the analogy.
Bwhaaaaabwhaaaaa 😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🍼🍼😢
Kimmel was Epstein's pool boy.
a breath of fresh air in an insane world.......thank you for what you do........
anyone who wears shorts to court should be dismissed on the spot
The ding bat thinks she's sexy she wants to try to engage in more extra marital affairs the number stands at 4 she's a piece of work
I agree with the statue issue,but for crying out loud , knowing that she would probably take down every thing she disagrees with (paintings,statues ect)just makes her reveal how hippocritic she is.
nice pfp and username
love from Brissy
also - yup. Courts (not so sure about city council meetings, but it's a formal proceeding so I expect the principle still applies) don't tend to take ANY show of disrespect too well - that includes dress (particularly when the person in question has adequate means - I mean even the poorest people standing up in court will go to considerable lengths to pull together a reasonably neat and sober ensemble... she just has no excuse smh)
@@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 -- being ignorant trailer trash is not an excuse?
Judge Judy would make her leave... And just to add this woman is crazy 🤪🤪🤪🤪
Lol this whole segment was freaking awesome. Can't say it enough. Jimmy, your writers are ON FIRE
THIS!!
he doesn't want to serve America. he wants to help rule the world.
Too funny! That desantos guy was hilarious; glad he's in florida.
Human Boil!! Perfect description of that sleaze bag Cruz 😂😂😂😂
So proud of you , jimmy. Make em suffering more and more. God bless you 🙏
I'm reading please move on thank you
Yes.. butt Ted Cruse “the human boil” makes all of us suffer pain from his stupidity and brazen evil coldness toward ‘we the people!’ Get rid of that clown 🤡 too!! All GOP are killing off ‘We The People’ for their own selfish $$ gains. It’s so in your face and clear!! Vote True Blue.. minus Two-faced Manchin!!
Em I think you missed the point of religion if you're blessing someone for making someone else suffer. I though we were past that when religion outgrew withc burnings...
“Yea!! Make ‘em suffer jimmy!! God isn’t on your side nor does he exist, but do you dem, do you!!
If I was the CEO of Twitter, I would say fine. No more Twitter in Florida.
DeSatan, w/his diarrhea of the mouth, "When you deplatform the POTUS, but you allow Ayatollah Ho-mein-knee,...talk about killing Jews"
What a loser.
Bye. Texas and Georgia next?
Did you notice the two guys on the right when the governor was explaining that the bill was for the benefit of all Floridians?
So you're ok with big tech censorship?
Who cares about Twitter anyway, or Facebook? The world would be better off without Twitter and Facebook.
"Human boil"... No two words were ever so appropriately paired. Kudos!
Love your getting under any crazy Right Winger like Crazy Cruz. Keep up the good work.
Jimmy hit it out of the park with this monolog.
The best part is when the reporter asks biden...the response is "he's a fool" LOL
yes
Takes one to know one...LOL !!!
@@richardhartman5032 No. No it doesn't
It’s so refreshing to have someone call out his BS and not tolerate it at all.
@@richardhartman5032 did you stay up all night thinking that one up? trump university grad?
I love it when Jimmy's voice cracks; when he's talking, suddenly it goes up ^^^ on some certain syllable.
Human boil ha ha. Perfect, there are so many of them now.
‘He was Trump’s Theon Greyjoy’ DYING 🤩
Dying at it
Factz
Na he's that lanister cousin that dies from wild fire
Reek
nailed it
*“Anyway, Florida is that toilet seat”*
Best quote of 2021 thus far!
Floriduh!
Ironically NY and Cali flocking to the Sunshine State...
@@krissifaith6709
We're trying to save it and taking the "DUH" out of Floriduh.
why is he saying swastika a horrible thing?
@@celinehary3222 lmfao more like ruin it. California and new york are cesspool i should know i lived in both and currently live in california.
Hand to God I swear I was thinking in my mind grandpa Munster just 2 seconds before it came out of your mouth.
Love it, Jimmy!
I’m with Kimmel in his opinions on Cruz and then some !
Jadd J.A.D.D. Jadd
I completely agree with you. I can't stand Trump, Cruz or anyone like them.
It’s storming in Texas tonight and we’re all hoping he runs back to Mexico.
I'm not an American, I'm a European and yet this man(Ted Cruz) annoys and infuriates the crap out of me an entire Atlantic Ocean away,i can only imagine what's it like for you
Me too
I think of him as Ted "la cucaracha" Cruz or Ted "fidel castro" Cruz...=))
Grifters gotta grift. Cheato has no class.
Totally aggree
Thank you for showing 12 months ago. This is the only way to remind people, including myself
Jimmy, you always make me smile, that be Molly and kids make smile more coz they tolerate you. Thank you for making me smile and laugh during a season i just needed to cry. Thank you Jimmy
You're my Hero Kimmel, GOD bless you
I don't think Kimmel believes in god sorry
Cruz is my hero
One of his best yet 😂
JIME KIMMEL..."A LEGEND IN HIS OWN MIND"
A lot of people are a bit embarrassed by their parents... but an we just have a moment of silence for Ted Cruz’s kids. 😬 That has to be absolutely mortifying. Dude makes ME feel second hand embarrassment
Most think Trump's kids should be embarrassed, but they're just like him, so. 🤷🏽♀️
@@candicemonique5927 we're all embarrassed enough for them I guess
*That’s how us Texans with morals feel bro.*
Fled’s kids may have the smarts to disown clown. But MTG’s....
I see them having their own TLC show & topping the Palin’s
@@sunshine3914 haha of course it would be TLC. They have the best freakshows on earth.
Monologue was the best. I've watched it 3x now.
Awesome. Jimmy you are brilliant.
True comedy!! Six months later, it's just as funny as the night it aired. I'm still waiting for Cancun Teddy's conjoined fetus to exit his chin boil.
Make sure y'all are voting in your local, state, and presidential elections.
And school boards..they are all about taking over schools now a days...sooooo many Karens
This! 🙌🏽
Ohh I am👍👍
Oh I will! Republican ticket all the way! You libs enjoy the critical race theory)!
@@BeegYoshi24 We will! Along with critical thinking!
The moral lesson: don't even try to roast a comedian
@Harry Orchard guess even idiots draw a crowd. . .
@@smiller2044 they always have, other idiots
@Harry Orchard hes such a tool
@Harry Orchard lol feel free to tell him that, and see what would happen
I I’m born and raised in Florida. Sadly you are correct.🤦🏽♀️🤷🏼♀️
"Human Boil" is funny !!
You’re right, Ted Cruz does look like grandpa Muenster.
Yesssss,I said the same thing!! Ted Munster
I’ve thought of that too but unfortunately it’s an insult to Grandpa Munster. 😏
.o
Monster#######:::#:#!!##!
Why do people, especially right-wing politicians, take on professional comedians. You're gonna get smeared.
Yes! They Are Professional Roasters!! LMAO! 😭😂😂😭🤣😅💯
wouldn't it be cool to have a team of writers behind you and 24hrs notice to have the perfect comeback every time. My life would be very different 😉
Shmeared like Cruz’s face
Ego. Pure and simple. They get used to having everybody around them agreeing with them. They end up thinking they're the cleverest in the room. Good to see them smeared with their own words.
@@australien6611 Jimmy tweeted back at him before the show-you tried! 😂
Guillermo: "I'M JUST TRYING TO BE NICE". 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Human Boil ... I laughed and gagged, twice.
I love you! So funny and ironically TRUE
Kimmel, it's not fair having a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
Spinal Tap basketball with Red Ted… I wouldn’t be able to stop laughing long enough to breathe.
Whoever does the narration of Covid History, makes me chuckle every time. Great voice! 😆👍
That sure sounds like Mr. Peabody from The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends.
PLEASE, Just like the pillow guy, give him a face to face opportunity 😂🙄🤣
That was actually a surprising civil interview
That was hilarious Jimmy Kimmel 😆 I sure enjoy your show!! ✌️
This week in covid history is my favorite!
Just thought about it MT Green has children Oh that’s truly sad !!! Can you imagine ?
Call Social Services.
Guillermo: " i was just trying to be nice: " ROFL
When Marjorie Taylor Greene speaks, she just takes ALL of the air out of the room. Why exactly does she get ANY airtime?
@Niamh De Na Crainn Arda Indeed!
Because if they don't give her airtime she'll start demanding to speak to the manager and it will turn into a whole thing.
@@jamesfranksain3227 ha ha ... fun answer!
@@kimp428 I know. I'm so original. Don't know how I do it. Lol jk
To show what the Republican Party has become.
Florida, there and Texas, 2 places I'd never move to.
Thank goodness!
Thank you Jimmy.