How Not to Destroy Your Relationship | Amy Morin, Being Well Podcast
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- Опубліковано 6 чер 2024
- Just as we can exercise our arms or legs to build physical strength, we can exercise our brains like we do any other muscle. Therapist Amy Morin joins me to help us learn how to regulate our thoughts, manage our emotions, and become more psychologically flexible. These key skills are particularly important for building a healthy relationship. Amy and I explore how couples can work together to identify their issues, deal with effort imbalances, and avoid common mistakes (like having, get this, not enough conflict).
About our Guest: Amy Morin is a licensed clinical social worker, bestselling author, and the host of the Mentally Stronger podcast. Her most recent book is 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don't Do, out on December 26th.
Key Topics:
0:00 Introduction
1:30 Amy’s personal background, and how she got to the idea of mental strengths
7:35 Self-compassion vs. self-pity
11:10 Not giving away your power
15:00 Diagnosing root problems in relationships
18:20 When one frustration brings up all your other frustrations
22:40 The inevitability of conflict, and the vulnerability in expressing remorse
27:45 Setting the ground rules for a therapeutic conversation
31:00 When it feels like your partner isn’t invested in making changes
34:05 Learning to deconstruct reactive thoughts and misguided perceptions
37:55 Taking your thoughts with a grain of salt, and asking ‘what else might be true?’
40:45 Scorekeeping vs. negotiating, and finding ways to meet our own needs
45:05 Giving our partner what we actually want for ourselves
48:30 Balancing desires for closeness and distance
50:45 Not being a martyr or ‘controlling through giving’
55:05 Boundaries between partners, and how our backgrounds influence our preferences
59:45 Developing psychological flexibility
1:03:25 Recap
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Who Am I: I'm Forrest, the co-author of Resilient (amzn.to/3iXLerD) and host of the Being Well Podcast (apple.co/38ufGG0). I'm making videos focused on simplifying psychology, mental health, and personal growth.
You can follow me here:
🎤 apple.co/38ufGG0
🌍 www.forresthanson.com
📸 / f.hanson
One of my favorite eps.
Thank you for the great conversation Forrest!
Amy Morin has a special place in my heart. A couple of years ago I had experienced for the first time something truly challenging. I had up until that point been incredibly blessed and unscathed. Amy's list of 13 things was the first thing I came across in my journey of building mental strength and resilience. Thank you so much!! This was a wonderful conversation
I'm honored!
I remember her story from her Tedtalk. Just an incrediblely resilient, resourceful woman.
Thank you!
This really helped a lot and opened my mind
Great podcast!
The ending : I’M DEAD 😂😂😂😂😂
Found Amy’s perspective to be toxic psychology and just not relevant to current relationship dynamics.
CBT is probably helpful for Baby Boomers or people with low emotional IQ.
If I as am anxiously attached individual pair with an avoidant partner, it’s known that my experience will be lacking more. By this rational I’d be a martyr for facing that.
It just seems like simplified toxic positive psychology.
Love you Forrest for trying to ground her to a more practical and helpful conversation.
I was feeling the same. Also she was literally a therapist when she went through this stuff, that is beyond helpful and also was able to make a decent living immediately to support herself and get help she needed and have an ok material life, that makes a huge difference. It's not that those things make the suffering she went through not real but people I find always chalk everything up to their 'mental state' when we know statistically that it's people's physical reality that helps them more than anything, their wage, their education, the country they live in, their status etc. But no one ever wants to hear, oh I had money so I got through my grief better than the person who could barely make rent no, everyone still wants to believe it was just my mental fortuity and not remember how much not being able to afford therapy or working a low wage job hinders the strength more than any other factor.
@@lb-xl1yp yep it’s privilege.., of having resources and people who care make it seem like it’s oh so easy…
They don’t understand true suffering at all. 😞 and this is ur basic therapist… this is who is supposed to help us. This is why I’m giving up.
I wouldn't say they don't understand real suffering but I do understand what you are saying, I think there is a level they just don't get because of their circumstances they are a little blinded to. What do you mean giving up? Like giving up on therapy? @@lovelyella
Omg mom and husband both died, then dad too! That's soooo sad 😢 poor lady😢
I'm sorry to hear about your losses as well.
Read 'The Manipulated Man" and don't. THE END!