Game of Thrones Abridged
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- Опубліковано 17 сер 2021
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S T O R I N G H I S V A L U A B L E S
You've done it Schwifty - the perfect balance of interesting tangents and on topic discussion. This is immaculate. Well done.
Thanks! We've come a long way haha
Schwift, when I’m God-Emperor of the entire world, you shall be in charge of foreign policy.
Holy shit, did you just correctly use jealous vs envious?? Are you a prophet?
Can't believe I missed this! Been so deprived of the Schwift.
you need the S
16:11 that is exactly the precise litterary analysis we come to Schwifty for. What a ride!
We still use Garde-robe in canadian french for closet. It litteraly means wardrobe. It guards your robes.
Middle ages english speakers must have had a terrible opinion of middle ages french people’s cloths to associate the word with a fucking toilet
"his treasured poop" his most treasured poossessions
5:35 makes me chuckle everytime "i was missing acok in my life" yes.. im five years old
The Tyrion hair tangent that ended with 7 legged frogs was to much, I couldn't stop laughing.
The infamous "It's not treason unless you finish inside" chapter
Remember when the season ended with Tyrion staring at the cabin door where Jon and Dany were knockin da boots? Everyone was theorizing "I bet he's up to something! That look means something!!" Nope. All it was "Oh geez, this isn't very good. Drrrrrrrr"
if Tyrion truly were “Machiavellian,” he would’ve torn out his enemies root and stem. Machiavelli was a strong believer in there being no half measures when dealing with enemies; if you crushed somebody with finality, they would never be able to claim vengeance against you. Tyrion would’ve benefited from that.
"Why are we talking about balls", I laughed out loud at my desk at work.
Yeah like in No Exit by Sartre, with the 3 characters sitting in a living room in Hell, they can only see what's going on up on Earth as long as people are speaking their names. Once thet stop, you lose all connection to life & are finally truly dead.
PJ and Carmine have a plot hole video where they discuss how the Tyrion Littlefinger plot when nowhere..
i would say Tyrion is the underdog and he works against his father, sister and the poisonous figures in Kings Landing upon his arrival. He openly states to Cersei that Joffrey is in idiot for many reasons but primarily for killing Eddard Stark. He protects Sansa jeopardizing his own safety knowing Joffrey is insane, doing so without profit for himself in mind. He is a threat to Littlefinger so much so that he survives and thrives in a place where Littlefinger has developed traps to dispose of threats. He almost kills Pycelle and confronts him in a brothel. He protects the people of Kings Landing by defending it using Wildfire as a defensive tool when no one else will. And even though he does it for selfish reasons he kills Tywin. The worst thing i would say he does is align with Varys because in the process of doing so he now owes the Spider a life debt....nobody talks about this but people who owe Varys tend to be pawns like Jorah is. he saves people and maximizes the positives out of deplorable situations. Tywin put Tyrion's at risk several times. We may not think it but Tyrion walks most of the books one step from being killed.....one argument...one "No" to his father or sister....
Whew, JKR gonna be remembered for all the wrong reasons unfortunately.
I’ve listened to all of your abridged videos at least twice huge fan thanks so much for the quality content
In that Alt Shift X lunatic's S6E10 video, he warned that Dany was leaving Meereen too soon. After destroying the existing social system and having not yet completely eliminated the insurgents, she was leaving the Meereenese people in an extremely vulnerable state #topical
I think Tyrion's comments about sex with Cersei are just the result of not having any kind of affection from or meaningful relationship with his older sister his entire life. I don't think he specifically wants her sexually, he just deep down wants a loving relationship with her. I think the fact that she's having sex with (and, presumably "in love with") their mutual sibling makes it so that his frustration with wanting to be close to her takes on this weird, sexual component.
Finally caught up with this crazy, crazy series. Amazing. Can't wait for the next stream, and hoping to catch it live but because bloody timezones I feel like that's unlikely. Has anyone made a spreadsheet yet to predict when the next Alt Schwift X stream will be? Or maybe worked out a new form of astrology to work it out.
In my continued effort to get you to make more of these videos, I will continue to try to be a free form of google. In regards to rushes as medieval flooring:
First, you are correct about there being a LOT of scholarly debate about how these were used exactly, the consensus seems to be that loose rushes aren't the best, and that bundles or mats (which became much more common in the late medieval period) were probably used. They appear to have served 3 primary purposes. First, people didn't bathe much, they put sweet smelling plants among the rushes to try to cover up the awful smells of medieval life. Second, they provided insulation. Third, they absorbed messes.
As you correctly point out, this seems like a very troublesome system when you could just make floors out of stone or tiles, so why do it? Indeed, there are still English traditions involving the collection of rushes for cathedrals, which appear to have fallen out of practical use for precisely this reason, they started making the flooring out of stone. The best explanation I can come up with about why they didn't do this earlier is cost and knowledge. Stonework was a highly skilled trade in the medieval period and VERY expensive and time-consuming, not far removed from the age of wooden fortifications. I have to imagine when they were adding up the costs for a cathedral or castle, they decided to save the extra 20% on materials and labor by using dirt/clay flooring. Also, I am not an architecture expert, but I have to imagine a stone floor foundation is more complicated than just plopping down walls and flattening the existing dirt, they were really pushing the limits of architectural capacities with the available technology, so there might be valid design reasons to avoid making the floor part of a structure in terms of drainage/sinking etc.
Awwwwweeee yeeesssss. I love this series far too much. Keep it Schwifty my friend
Lancel did tell Jaime that he had Sex with Cersei in the sept at Darry (not Rosby)! And indeed, Jaime did not kill him.
11:28 Randal Tarley refused to allow Samwell to join the Maesters on the basis of pride. It’s possibly the same here. Or else, Tywin couldn’t make Tyrion a maester because he was too young and then Aerys made Jamie a Kings gaurd which left Tyrion as his only heir and source of Lannister grandchildren. That said, it’s odd he never married him early - I suppose he needed a captive suitor of particular pedigree.
1:02:36 It’s probably a case of Tyrion fearing his family more than Varys and Littlefinger. Tyrion was collateral in Baelish’s plot and Varys seems more on his side than anyone. Maybe a lifetime of hostility from his family is making him exaggerate their threat: plus this is his one chance at revenge for a lifetime of humiliation.
I agree, a lot of readers get caught up in the POV buys and fail to see what a little turd. Tyrion e.
I think it‘s obvious that Tyrion is a villain. The ASOIAF community does not recognize this fact because most men would rather deny a hard truth than face it.
@@larochejaquelein3680 yeah that too it would seem
Hey, I just realized that Tyrion’s internalized mantra of ‘use everyone’s prejudices as your armor’ is quite frankly stupid. If Tyrion acted kind and made sure to create a good public image through charity, etc, the common people would have totally liked him for being the underdog.
That’s a bit optimistic and simplistic isn’t it? Kind of like saying “All Brienne has to do is show what a great knight she can be and the rest of Westeros will stop being sexist towards her”. Not saying Tyrion couldn’t do anything to improve his image, but all the PR and charity in the world won’t erase prejudice. Hell John and Danny basically have charity towards the wildlings and slaves and are still called “bastard” and “whore”.
The interesting thing is that Tyrion's advice actually works *for Jon*. Once Jon starts embracing his status as a bastard it becomes much easier for him to relate to others, to be less prickly all the time and he even uses it at strategic moments such as when he convinces Mance to let him join the free folk.
@@theletterm5425 Theirs worlds are completely different Jon is in a Para-military organization and Tyrion was trying to play politics
@@wisdommanari6701 I think it's more in how both of them apply Tyrion's wisdom. Jon comes to accept his identity as a bastard, so much so that "Lord Snow" becomes his official title as Lord Commander. Tyrion meanwhile lashes out, throwing his identity as the snarky, lecherous imp in everybody's face. But that is clearly just a coping mechanism. Tyrion isn't at peace with himself. It's like he says during his trial: "You make me sorry that I am not the monster you would have me be". In the end Jon accepts himself for who he is, while Tyrion more and more conforms to what other people view him as.
@@theletterm5425 well sure but look at the even surrounding them. Jon's black nature is what let Mance think he would betray the NW. but it was Noyne believing that Jon was a true and loyal man that allowed him to keep him to live.
Slynt and Allister would have had Jon die either by hanging or by trying to assassinate Mance. But he was saved by Stannis then Sam manipulate Cotter Pyke and I wanna say Jason Mallister to elect Jon as NW Commander.
Tyrion playing the scheming drawf alienates his sister Pycell, lord Baelish his nephew and several of the kings guard. His chain with the Wildfire was clever and he modified Cercie original plan.
He is very brave when he leads the outlet charge near the mud-gate but it was Tywin and the Tyrells attack on Stannis flank that Truly defeated stannis.
Book three he continues to piss off everyone around him including his dad so much so that when he is falsely accused of Joffrey murder he has no friends. He used and tossed away so many people and when they saw the opportunity to do so they did it to him.
Minis the kettlebacks they're just thirsty for Cercie.
This is like the exact content starving ASOIAF book fans need right now lol. I can’t believe after watching like all the videos 3-4 years ago and catching up on the new ones on that asshole “alt shift x”s channel makes I wasn’t recommended these until 4 days ago or something. I’ll be keeping up from now on and try to make the live streams.
You’re literally the best UA-cam channel bruh shoutout all the way from Sacramento CA
Floors in castles were mostly wood planks,most of the internal structure of castles is wood.you can't make floors/ceilings out of stone because it's to heavy,it would collapse.but if indeed the text refers to woven plant stems that's rly poor accommodations for basically the prime minister in the capital of the realm.and surely GRR knows this,in mine mind it refers to something else or the text is trying to tell something.
Its wasn't a matter of Littlefinger and Varys being disloyal, it was about who they were more disloyal to.
I really liked Tyrion at first, but the more you interrogate his chapters, the more you realise how heavily biased your view of everything going on with him is because you're viewing it through his eyes. I mean, he is still reasonably sympathetic in ways, but he's also a little shit who I'd probably hate if I had to be around.
Interesting side note on Tyrions hair color. The color is described as streaked black in his flashback to his times with Tysha. George is just inconsistent with his character descriptions. Still love the guy though
The Schwift is strong.
1:13:00 its not necessary but its just part of the worldbuilding process. You decide how much real life you want to go in and it seems George went with a similar level to real life English culture but with moderate changes to keep it feeling alien enough
Samwell is GRRMs self-Insert.
Shit, can’t believe I missed it. At least we didn’t have to wait 6 months. :)
I didn't know you have a second channel and so much content to watch , i hope when i finish watching all the videos here there will be more from you ,at least finish the last book plz.
This man doesn't miss
just caught up on these videos, now i gotta wait :P
49:00 there are brain lesions that knock out language but not thought, so it seems possible to think without language (nancy karoshaw's recent lecture on mit's center for brains minds and machines youtube page covers this)
Lol the hair tangent is so ridiculous because they’re actually talking about Lancels hair. What a wonderful rant
1:13:00 The funny spelling probably has something to do with his love of history. Older forms of English texts tend to be spelled slighty differently, or have no official or universal spelling at all.
31:55 Varys, Littlefinger and the Night’s King don’t call him an imp.
More!!!!!!
Tyrion also has a black white beard
You never disappoint. Great video!
Sad thing about Cersei and Tyrion is, they aren’t even fighting for favourite, they’re fighting for second favourite. Neither of them will ever be close to equal in Tywins mind to his able bodied son and yet neither of them hold that against Jamie even as they destroy each other.
I needed this dub today.
heyo another solid sode thanks schwift
This better have some good tangents!
I knew after that Twow Twitter tangent we was gonna get a stream.
Please Keep doing this series!!
These are always extremely enjoyable !
Imagine how much better GOT season 8 could've been if Khalessi beat Cersei first and then her and Jon came together to fight the White Walkers. They could've fought the walkers at the Trident where Rhagar died.
Jacelyn Bywater was epic
Lmao put the hairgate rant in the Met
The joke at the start of this series is that it’s a drunk rant. But it’s evolved to be just as interesting as any other of your deep dive videos.
Hair gate!! Lol
You're coming off a bit biased against Tyrion, imo. You're calling him a "bad person" for siding with Tywin and his atrocities but wasn't that the exact same thing Kevan(who is, by your standards, a "good person") was doing?
But yeah, by book 5 he is far too gone.
I think Kevan is also a bad person for excusing Tywin's atrocities.
@@AltSchwiftX fair enough.
Kevan is a Good Person in a Bad Situation, you too would probably be conflicted with the apathy your elder sibling towards the lower class.
It is known targaryens don't get sick!
"Jaime hasn't been treated unfairly."
Interesting take.
Wait, so do frogs have 7 legs or not?
Piebald reffers to the horses color.
Missed these
#Durkheim is my new favorite Schwiftism
I have never almost thrown up the way I almost threw up when he talked about mashing balls in a bathtub 🤢
👍🔥🐲
I made a mistake of googling "turd burgling" and... my god Schwift how on earth do you even know that?! Jk I had a good laugh
Cos he's Aussie... all Aussies know about turd burgling !! Lol 😆
@@amandaofhouserobinson6707 Wait really? Please explain, to be honest I wouldn't have known anything about Australian culture if I hadn't started listening to Schwifty 😂
@@jovial.milieu was just joking!! Aussies are weird but not that weird! Lol.
TIL Alt schwift x is a man of color
@14:57 📖 ok SO. amongst (as y’all know) _many_ awful shortsighted dumb jokes of Season 8 ➡️ Tyrion not being mentioned in the new Westeros-history book 😉 cleverly titled _A Song of Ice and Fire._
This is such absolute bullsh!t. Not just, it isn’t fair that they did that to Peter Dinklage and to the character of Teryan Lannister (dammit 😂 dictation…. _nearly_ got that).
It’s just actually nonsensical. To suggest that a meaningful history of the recent wars and people involved in them would not include Tyrion is …. I’m gonna list a few points:
1️⃣ he’s the son of a prominent family, in a society and time period which highly values and glorifies Lords & their families. On the basis of *that alone,* already it is inane to suggest that he is not listed in the basic recent genealogy.
2️⃣ he killed his father, who amongst things had been Hand of the King for about 30 years (or whatever), under multiple kings.
3️⃣ even if he wasn’t mentioned out of spite, by some historian who wants to let his story go unwritten - it just doesn’t make sense.
4️⃣ Battle of the Blackwater. amongst important military events in which Tyrion Lannister played a direct or even commanding role.
5️⃣ he killed his father, after escaping from prison (where he was being held on suspicion of having murdered the king, his own nephew)
6️⃣ we don’t know where all the dust will settle, after the actual end of _A Song of Ice and Fire_ , but: assuming that Tyrion does ally himself with Daenerys Targaryen for some amount of time, then either dramatically betrays her or … whatever. 🤷🏻♂️ Also seems historically notable.
7️⃣ as mentioned in point number five, *he was accused of having murdered a king.* Regardless of your family background, that 👑 kind of thing _alone_ qualifies people for being in history books and pop quiz trivia answers.
8️⃣ he was married to Sansa Stark (a daughter from one of the other notable Houses), which also - perhaps there will be histories which choose to omit that - is 📖 record-worthy, for some level of historical scrutiny. (since there were no children, and the other circumstances, it is possible that this one might not be mentioned.)
9️⃣ Tywin Lannister was an absolute 😎 BOSS. He is hugely noteworthy and historically significant, there’s a song 🌧 🦁 🌧 about one of his victories, and many other points…. And Tyrion is of course inescapable, in a biography of his father. Unless they just lie entirely about how the man died.
🔟 Tyrion said a lot of clever things. Whether or not he made it into the history books, I could very well imagine that his witticisms would/might be Oscar Wilde-ly popular.
🤔🤔🤔
I think that’s enough. Just to make the point, that the inclusion of this statement is purely childish drivel, to poke fun at the actor (and perhaps, in various ways, to intentionally upset fans).
It’s absurd. 🤔…. And now,
my rant is over. 🎤
Tyrion diss track
Well if vacancies gave u 7 legs I don't think anyone would really object.
Hell yes
Time to get schwifty
I don't think that Cersei and Tyrion fight because they're too similar; Cersei just cannot stop herself from provoking and attacking Tyrion, partly because of the prophecy and partly because she thinks anyone not kissing her feet is out to get her (and that Tyrion has to keep fixing her mistakes because she's an incompetent idiot). If she had even a smidgen of common sense or sanity she would realize they'd both be better off staying out of each other's way. But man, imagine a reality where Cersei wasn't such a wretched mess of a human being and the two of them actually teamed up to use their strengths for a common goal; they'd almost equal Tywin in power and cunning.
Provoking and attacking is just what Tyrion does, like with Pycelle. He didn't need to humiliate him and cut his beard, but he did anyway. And I f I remember correctly there was a scene where cersei actually opened up to tyrion and he responded by insulting her.
Exactly, you can’t exactly blame Tyrion for not wanting to team up with someone who has hated him and called him a monste her whole life, accused him of murdering their mother, etc. Not to mention Oberyns story about how she tried to pinch his dick off when he was just a baby. Could Tyrion avoid antagonizing her with his clever jokes? Absolutely. But ally with her? That ship has sailed. Plus he stopped her stupid plan to launch wildfire with catapults.
@@starwarsnerd100 but he should have tried. Sending all of her guards away was a stupid idea, throwing pycelle and a black dungeon was a bad idea. He wasn't being defensive he wasn't covering his back he was also openly attacking his sister period not to mention he poisoned her.
They had a deal that they would work together and that he would share his plans with her. They would negotiate and try to figure things out if they had work together they would have been Unstoppable.
Personally I don't think it would have worked out but he threw the first blow not her
king 👑
The Harry Potter thing makes so much sense. Really explains why JK Rowling doesn’t have a soul
She has a soul. Trans don't
she didn't say anything wrong
48:07 Possibly: but more importantly Tyrion is shown to be impotent in the presence of his female superiors.
38:16
Just jump on the Wheel of Time
❤❤❤❤
I don't know where or how but please more and no chat
Just don't use Wikipedia! Lol
JK Rowling putting parts of her soul in the Harry Potter books... that WOULD explain why she's now soulless...
Schwifty showing his ignorance 25:52.
Danishta steele showing that she's an anti-vaxxer
@@respectableindividual4593 or a flat earther 🌎 ;)
@@danishtasteele9272 AMEN SISTER ME TOO VOTE RED MAN I SURE DO LOVE LIVIN IN TEXAS
Makes me so sad to hear you speaking admiringly about Rowling. Her bigotry has hurt so many people and folks just seem to want to turn a blind eye to it. You seem lovely though, so I'm operating on the assumption that you don't share her bigoted beliefs.
What's her bigotry again and who has it hurt?
Missed it by 11 minutes 🥲 hope it was a good stream!