The Wisdom Of ENFP & INFP Fantasies
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- Опубліковано 6 вер 2024
- Today I'm hopping on for a quick conversation about something that's been on my mind. Fi is a VERY fantasy-prone function - most ENFPs, INFPs, ESFPs and ISFPs know the struggle of living an alternate life inside your mind at all times. But what we don't talk much about is the wisdom that can be found within these fantasies. What might our minds be trying to communicate to us through our daydreams that we ought to start paying attention to?
If you liked this video, you may like the entire week we spend talking about fantasy mitigation in the ENFP & INFP Soul Bootcamp programs. Make sure you check them out at www.heidipriebe.com!
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this hits kinda hard... do anyone ever have this sudden urge to tell (overshare) your story, OCs, fantasies in a time like... out of nowhere? sometime i'd also build a scenario from a moment i just experienced irl
@Hello There facts bruh
I have this fantasy about all the people of the world living in harmony with one another to actualize their individual significance and potential in a way that makes sense to them. I cannot at all imagine why this cannot be the way we build society to have this all manifest. Then I see any news of the world and feel lost and alone once more ... (ENFP)
Facts its always what if everyone was at peace.... and you always ask yourself how... How do we live in a place where it is so easy to do good but near impossible to cope with evil...
I really felt that one😅 But don’t forget: we’re the activist and we’ll try to change that!
Greedy people sadly run the world
yeah this
Hello 🌷 Your fantasy is exactly what Jehovah God intended in the first place. He promises to restore that original plan for us. The world is experiencing disasters that are mostly man influenced. God knew that would happen and at Revelation 11: 18 it is written that he will bring to ruin those ruining the earth. Then Revelation chapter 21: 3-4 describes the conditions that follow. Psalm 37: 29 says man will live on earth forever. We've been praying for God's kingdom to come. The Lord's Prayer, also known as the Our Father Prayer, is found at Matthew 6: 9 - 13. Remember that Luke 21: 28 says when these things start happening our deliverance is near. Good news indeed. I hope this helps. 🙏
I both can't stand and needed this. ENFP checking in, metaphysically 😅
Yes same hahahah
(INFP) My fantasies are most often unattainable experiences that I want to have in nature or surreal worlds, which is probably why I spend enormous amounts of time playing video games, but even in real nature, going on hikes where a crazy thunderstorm happens, it rains, and I'm surrounded by thunder, the smell of rain/soil, and the feeling that I'm placed in the middle of something grander is 100x more fulfilling and memorable than any game with the neatest setting could ever give me.
But there's still something so imaginative about running around in worlds that aren't physically possible on Earth -- or perhaps did exist (giant trees everywhere, ruins from ages past, etc.)
I literally became a writer since I have so many fantasies and daydreams. When I was 10 I realised that if I wrote everything down that I had in my head I could publish lots of really interesting books. So happy for that decision as a kid!
Brilliant, this is the conclusion I am getting to see decades of streaming and researching so many different topics. I probably need to start collecting and sharing
The moral of ENFPs' fantasies will 90% time be about being more disciplined... Imma right? 🙈
Love how you explained a pillar of analytical psychology so quickly and easily, Heidi :)
I find this so funny cause I'm a very disciplined INFP in real life but in my daydreams I'm the biggest rebel ever xD
And for me as INFP I'm always so carefree and OUT THERE lol I'm not even disciplined like AT ALL
I once had this fantasy about going back in time and shocking ancient Greek people with the music and the arts of the future and becoming some sort of celebrity = Need for approval, love to teach and see the wonder in people's faces, love of history, this feeling of meeting people not so different from me but from such different backgrounds.
Once I had another fantasy where I was cuddling in bed with someone and I literally cried talking to this faceless person, because it was the first person to ever "get" me and love me for who I was = need of intimacy, need to connect with someone on a deeper level, need to be understood and accepted
Seems wise to me, Heidi, especially for my type, INFP. We readily understand our feelings in great depth. If we can first take a step back to ask what story those feelings are telling us, we can lessen the risk of identifying with those feelings. Asking first why this anger, this love...is an excellent habit to cultivate.
“What is this fantasy trying to tell me?” Excellent short and sweet summary of the tip you’re recommending. Also I think examining the meaning of the fantasy is something that NeFi and FiNe (as pure functions, not complicated by our use of those functions) are actually VERY primed to do. Ne can speculate on the many meanings behind the fantasy, the many reasons it popped into the mind. And Fi can reflect and identify, which is true. Just such a great tip, thanks for the video!!!
I used to have very poor social skills, so It's only relatively recently that I've discovered that I'm extroverted, let alone be an ENFP (I was super depressed and tested as an INTP). Anyways, I've used my ability to create fantasies in my head to pit opposing viewpoints against each other in my head and imagine how they might debate. I spent quite a bit of time rehearsing conversations in my head with people I had met, trying to think how they might respond, thinking of ways to connect with others.
I use my imagination in far more pragmatic ways than simply trying to feel a specific feeling, but I do that as well. But it's never a question of why, it's always showing me something I want, that I have to work for.
Exactly the same as me.
Ah that explains it. Same here man..
It's difficult being both an ENFP and a bookworm. My expectations are through the roof, and then I feel bad that I'm not satisfied with my life, and then I do this thing where I shut down mentally when I'm alone, but act all good and fine, and even feel good and fine around loved ones, and dreading being alone with my thoughts. Enfp rambling.....
been there buddy, the absolute most important thing for me to work on while getting out of that space was my self speak. When you’re with people it’s easy to drown out your brain’s constant nagging for improvement and change. but when you get alone those thoughts start to become the only thing you can focus on. To help with this i’ve been speaking internally with myself about how well i’m doing, how happy i am with my progress and growth, and reassuring myself i have my own back. These are the types of things that will change the way you think about yourself when you’re alone with your thoughts. - an EFNP giving it his best shot
(INFP) Outside of fantasy worlds, the other fantasies I find myself lost in are concerning groups of people. Like: me, being a part of a church community and being considered an essential part of the groups I'm in instead of an afterthought. Seeing friends every single week instead of months apart. Having harmony and understanding with those friends, instead of anxiety and ambiguity, disconnects in hobbies and interests, and ideologies we're in sync with, or if different, ones we can each tolerate.
Then I realize how much of a commitment all of that is, and then I hide away and stick to enjoying my interests mostly alone, seldomly making contact with others. I want to experience these things without feeling required to commit to yet-another-weekly-meeting or gig. It just feels like an extension of my workplace at that point.
When a friend or community I'm a part of starts in with "we should do X every week!" I am immediately turned off and feel resentment. Unless it's something I *really, really* want to be doing. And even then, it usually lasts for a few weeks before fizzling out.
I literally laughed so much at the 6 pack thing and showing it off to everyone at the beach like HA I'LL SHOW YOU. Most of my fantasies involve me coming across as much better and confident than I actually am :(
Our fantasies aren’t meant to be acted out in real life, they’re meant to tell us what’s missing. I love this wow!
How can we find the difference between fantasies and our dreams? I feel that dreams propel us forward but fantasies kind of immobilise us..
I am at that stage where I'm trying to befriend self-discipline and be more in touch with reality. I figured that reality doesn't really have to be that scary. I trust myself enough to embrace both the good and bad parts of the situation that I am in and get back up, a better, more refined and beautiful human being. Trying to use my imaginations as motivation and a way to rest in between the drills, just so I can stick to the process of self-improvements and enjoy it as well. For example, I am preparing to be posted to a local hospital and I used my imaginations to strengthen the kind of doctor that I want to be with my future patients and Alhamdulillah, it works :) thank you for sharing your journey with us!
Very insightful and discerning as always. I have found that the older I have gotten, the more I have learned to "Reality Check" FI. or one could say that reality has also checked by FI. Disillusionment is often the first step towards health. I used to have so many unrequited love, projected desires, seeking completion or validation from others, expecting people to be different than they were.
But it is as you said: The ENFP starts to grow with self-acceptance. The ENFP's story is one of neediness. The story needs to be one of self-sufficiency, of being in the moment rather than in the throes of ones drama.
We ENFPs can be hopeless romantics. Best that we grow into ourselves and learn to accept both self and other as they both are. A little practiced SE goes a long way. How else will the stories we tell ourselves be rooted in our reality?
That third position between indulging or repressing our FI fantasies is where I live. Certain dreams remain on the shelf for years, only to be dusted off when the time seemed ripe.
Holy crap the language of means goal vs. end goal is so valuable and I can't believe I never processed goals this way. This helps so much with resistance and my feeling of shame/inadequacy.
This video is telling me to use eneagram 4 while I'm a 7, aaaaaarg. This is an attempt to make a self-reflection to discover my REAL hidden motivations.🤔Intriguing!
Wtf....your intro just articulated this huge mental barrier I've been tryna figure out for the laat few years, god damn
Spot on! The third option -- a huge sign of a maturing FP 👍 in any situation! Great insight into our brains and how we can healthily harness all the stories going on there but also helpful to know re the stronger SE types and how quickly they're testing these fantasies out IRL. As you point out, we ENFPs can hang onto them for years, no problem...except when it is. Thanks so much!
This is so true Heidi.
I always have many fantasies and I knew that it stems from my flawful self. I used to be hyper aware of my flaws, especially about my appearance. But then I realised i should start working out. A lot of things maybe I can't change, but I always can work out on things that I can change. I started making workout routines, and actually follow it through. I felt so satisfied and accomplished, because I was training myself to be more discipline. And as I workout, I feel happier, and I stopped thinking 'Oh I'm ugly, I'm useless, I'm fat' but instead I started to think, "I've done my best. I love my progress. I know I've put in all the efforts, and I'm grateful." I felt more positive than ever. So I was really proud of my efforts, it was like an accomplishment. It may seem nothing to others, but following routines and being disciplined, has always been a struggle for me.
I both use my fantasies as a creative source and now I think I can use it to inform me on what is missing in my life.
Hello, don't know you but my words of Wisdom from age for you guys and properly acting on your fantasies is the foundation and golden rule of mindset being the perception of everything and everybody as the "weather" instead of most people according to statistics who perceive each other as something "appealing" as if they were good or bad like food. Go Philosophy! :)
I so wish I could have heard you explain all this when I was a kid! I was an INFP child born into a hippie subculture where I learned that I could make the world do and be whatever my heart desired as long as I poured out enough passionate commitment (i.e. "Love Is All You Need"--I truly believed that). I was determined to succeed at that because that's what I thought it meant to live with integrity. When something didn't go the way I'd envisioned, I thought it was my fault for not loving deeply enough. I never even divided the world clearly into "fantasy" and "reality", and I definitely never questioned why my dreams were what they were.
So good! Usually when I analyze myself, it’s in context of how I’ve adopted narratives from the world and unpacking those. I haven’t really looked at my fantasy self as a GPS to “what’s missing” from current me. Thank you so much for sharing!
This is great stuff! Brilliant! I’ve been using a health and wellness coach this past year and this is EXACTLY the process I have discovered along the way! Adapting and changing my methodologies and approaches in life! It has been such an enriching experience! Consistency still remains a key challenge but one worthy of trying to fine-tune. I’m in my 40s now, and it feels good to not allow myself to get so lost in my Ne and Fi quite so much. Reigning in my P-ness.
I have to admit, I don't actively watch all of your videos that I get notified about, but it's always sooo refreshing when I do. Especially if I'm ever starting to doubt my type, I can watch one of your videos and just feel like, back at home within my personality. As an enfp it can be so hard because the fictional characters of our type can be such poor representations of our personality and therefore totally unrelatable.
Welp, I was more or less stunned in place after watching this. "So, my fantasy about being a successful novelist giving an interview about the groundbreaking debut novel that taught people to love themselves or my fantasy about being a life-changing psychologist who fuses Jungian analysis with modern methods and offers his services at a low enough cost for everyone to explore themselves... those aren't things I need to make happen? It's more about attributes of myself I want to bring out or strengthen?"
And after I said that to myself, the crushing weight of "failure" lifted... or at least relented a little
Wow, this is very good! I do struggle with this, though ironically i felt ill at ease with sitting in these fantasies,having anxiety. Ironically also, YOU have been in 3 of my dreams and i believe some messages did center around confidence and worth. I recover from escaping into emotional eating as well. Which 2 of my dreams have been about,since i obsessed over heathy eating,so kind of needing the discipline. Thoughts came into my mind with visuals of chinese medicine elements i need to integrate in my life for balance, being Water and Metal (deficiency in the former leads to fantasizing, the latter is about discipline).
Omg this is what I needed! Thank you!
INFP
(for me) all point to inadequacy in every aspect of life.
Hitting 54 in a few months, so I'm sure I can get that all sorted out and live a life I'd like before I'm too old to enjoy anything.
no sweat
💪💪
This is great Heidi! So well put and clear. It's kinda like how our dreams can tell us something of what is going on inside. I've heard that before, but never this thought about the role of our fantasies. Excellent connection!
WOW thank you for this!!! I'm realizing I used to fantasize heavily in the past. But now that its been a few years of inner work I notice I'm no longer fantasizing as much if rarely at all and it's because I'm living in what I would have fantasized out of lack. Definitely gonna keep cognizant of if I do start fantasizing/disassociating again. Great video! 👍
Nice video. So many aspects of one’s life needing enrichment and fulfillment, even if not in effect, but in daydreams. Hehe
soo... I am trying to not be disturbed by the YT algorithm suggesting this one to me today . It is way too on target for what I am dealing with right now. I have way to big of crush on someone and trying not to fanaticize too much about the life together that I know in reality we probably won't have. I've been trying to decide what it is about her that I so admire and am envious of. I appreciate the validation this video is giving me. Specially that she has qualities that I think I would like to have and I keep thinking about her so much b/c I am trying to figure out what those are and how to get that for myself.
INFP Here, this video gave me a new perspective thanks!
So much fantastic, practical helpful material on this channel. 👍
I'm so glad you came up on my UA-cam as an ENFP so grateful
I’m an ENFP and I relate to this 100%. Very insightful observation of what might be the true purpose of Fi.
While I agree that most NFPs will relate to this, I do think this applies to SFPs just as much. One of my best friends is an ESFP and she is one of few whom I really discuss some of my fantasies with in depth (especially when they are recurring or profound in some way), and I know the same goes for her with me. In theory, the whole “Se blindspot” for NFPs makes sense, but I don’t think it really applies here. SFPs don’t always immediately go and act out on their fantasies, get feedback and move on in real-time. Conversely, NFPs certainly can and do act on their fantasies in real-time and get that feedback much faster if/when they want to. I think it mainly comes down to whether or not the Fi user wants or is ready take in feedback from the real world and accept reality as it is, and I do think that is something all FPs struggle with at times and can relate to.
Yes! Brilliant content. Can relate so much as an infp x
Very interesting and informative. Thanks. As an INFP male, this was a good dose or reality. Thanks
Wow, super happy I clicked on this video and thank you! I've always brushed off these scenarios I play out in my mind (over and over and over again) as just being stuck in my head. Going to start asking myself what I'm trying to learn/tell myself. This sounds a lot like out subconscious trying to break through and tell us something pivotal it has processed, but it can't speak to our ego/self directly. Thoughts? (INFP)
Brilliant video, as always 😊❤️
I analyse my dreams this way when they seem to have some sort of meaning (those where I actively make decisions) but I've thought to analyse my daydreams like this. Thanks!
so much beauty ♥️
you also said some good things
Solid advice, thanks!
Oh no Heidi you are wrong, getting that six pack would indeed solve all of your problems in fact, it might even solve world peace, hunger and 😊❤. Damn this video was amazing. Never before have I ever felt so seen and heard. You’re not supposed to know about my fantasy world Heidi shhh. Hahaha, it hurts it really does to wake up to the fact that that world isn’t real. I think I live so much in it I forget that I do for sure. But also it’s pretty amazing in here and yeah crushes and romances in your mind are our jam haha also sob sob sob. But, reality is better it has that bite of realism that makes it all better the good and the not the bad the bad is just bad hahah I’m going back in ❤😂😂. But, just thank you for this reframe.
Thanks for this very valuable insight!
So excellent helpful!! Thanks bunches
Amazing video!!!
That's brilliant. Regarding new career paths I am already working towards the way I want to feel at the end. But indeed got stuck for a while in just fantasising about it.
Where have you been all of my life?! 😍 I just discovered your channel and can't stop watching because it's so relatable and I'm learning so much about myself and why I do the things I so. Thank you! ❤️
that was very helpful. thank you
Your words are refreshing and true
I actually did a big step in my life, I moved to an other side of my country, because I wanted to live in a creative and big City. I fantasised about it for a long time and a Sensory Dom friend actually helped me to plan and consider steps before I go. It helped me so much and I'm much more happy that my fantasy is now my reality. It was still a hard step to get started^^" But totally worth.
5:16 onwards, wow! Very well said analysis! I'll incorporate this whenever I find myself daydreaming.
Brilliant video ... thank you so much
A really great video
Oh my gosh, you referenced Thais Gibson. I love her (and just discovered you) and now you as well. Thank you both, you beautiful geniuses.
Okay this video is awesome. Thank you Heidi :)
True. Took me years to figure this out.
This is so helpful for me especially right now!
I have alot of Fantasies but I think I realize most of them cant be brought to reality-
Because most of my Fantasies are about Adventuring in a world that doesnt exist You can say like a Video Game and to hangout with People or Characters there
Its not like I dont Imagine or have a Fantasy that CAN be brought to the real world but again I just end up think it as an Idea or tell someone about it and gonna end up being satisfied enough by telling someone and not do anything else
Thx not only the video but the song made my day 😋❤️❤️❤️
thank you heidi! this helped me with my celebrity obsession 🤭😊
Well: thank you for making this video. :) I will now not be able to sleep tonight. But that's fine. :)
This is great advice. Thank you 🙏
I am a writer .. I just use them to help the intensity of my writing .. kinda fun when dealing with dragons
Not sure why I was attracted to this vid (bc I'm an INFJ) but I liked it
This was very helpful!!!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bro you are soo awesome!!! Thank you for this!!
The problem is that my biggest fantasy I don't know what it tells me beyond the obvious. Usually I'm a spiritual person, and I'm generally not superficial, but I have this drive to want to have sex with a very attractive woman. To be precise a woman that is physically very attractive to me but with a personality good enough that we can have some synergy. I don't know what that tells me beyond "I ywant this experience. If I were to brain storm with my Ne and kind of juice the patterns maybe:
I want to get rid of sexual shame and embrace my raw desires as they are without guilt
I want to go through the self-improvement necessary to get that result despite being a 5`0" guy.
I want to inspire other short guys and boost their confidence by being a living proof that their height alone can't hold them back.
I want to embody sexual self-acceptance ina healthy way, and shut down the inner voice telling me "she is just too hot for you"
I want to embrace the spirituality contained withing the physical world itself and break the duality between body and spirit, surface and depth.
I feel there is something there but I can't figure it out.
im an enfp and my brother is an infp. noone understands me like he does
This is very Jungian stuff, Carl Jung wrote about these ideas a hundred years ago but is rarely credited for his insights by people who are into MBTI stuff. Dreams, fantasies, most poetry, and all things soulful, etc... are not to be taken literally but symbolically.
You're wise
Wait....did you just reference Thais Gibson? This is getting surreal.
First off, thank you. I am not sure I am in the process but I'm Infp and haven't dated over 5 years. I am also cancer. I met an enfp, which is also a cancer and she is awesome. We definitely have a connection but I feel very nervous to commit... I don't even know why... i suppose, I kind of do know, it's because I'm not sure I could keep up with her needs as far as making her feel satisfied, or be overly emotionally expressive and push them away. But I am feeling stronger feelings every.time we are together. Her mom is also my best friend. I wouldn't want to loose a friendship, even though she said If anybody was to be with her daughter she wanted to be me. I don't know, I'm torn on committing or continuing the "getting to know you better" stage; It's not honest and that's not me. She is 29 I am 35. Not that that matters just more info... I never think or have someone interested in me and when she told me she was, that's when my perception took a turn towards fantasies world. How do I know im not just smitten at the idea of it all? The last thing I would want to do is hurt someone because I expect a world made up in my head to be played out by them. Sorry so long. thank you again 🙏🏼
For me (as an INFJ) I would try to think of the most likely thing that would cause a relationship to fail/succeed and determine if the raw qualities of success were present. Basically venture to Ni from Ne. (I'm currently learning to do the opposite! Venturing to not just the positive possibilities of Ne but also become aware of the possibilities that could cost me great harm and cost little to prepare for. But I still rely on my INFP best friend as my muse/sounding board as this function is not in my main stack).
The phrase that helps me clarify relationships the most is "Love is the involuntary response to virtue." So virtuous love is a renewable resource, and virtue is evidenced from action of some sort, but action that comes from something deep (a reflection of their true selves). To ensure it is from their true selves, observe and see if there is something about her that causes your heart to melt even if she is interacting with someone else. Even if she isn't aware of your presence, is she consistent with what you perceive as her core qualities? Look up virtue on Wikipedia and they have a list of qualities if you need help clarifying/identifying what to look for.
As you mentioned, the initial fantasy will wear off. But with renewable love, a small positive action can bring you back into remembering why she means so much to you. Because without a renewable foundation it won't stand the test of time as conflict will wear down resolve and positive initial feelings. It isn't about eliminating all negative possibilities and building an impenetrable fortress as much as it is finding the wellspring of energy in you both to try again. This will help refill depleted energy. That you are watching a video like this makes me think you also be aware of and do the practical relationship work as well, and if she is similarly focused that is a positive sign.
Open communication is the fundamental requirement of a relationship, even more so with a mirror relationship (ENFJ-INFP or ENFP-INFJ in my case). In my own mirror type dynamic if there is some factor external to the relationship that causes the ENFP to get insecure about possibilities that directly impact my Ni future that can create a negative spiral that can cause the relationship to fail. Not as sure about the INFP-ENFJ dynamic, would it be Fi-Fe or Ni-Ne that would be a potential trigger? But regardless, the other party can without even being aware of what they are doing trigger deep anxieties in the other. Massive communication and deference to each other is required here. For my own dynamic that requires helping the ENFP build a version of the Ni laser for themselves to help them sort through possibilities while being true to themselves. And until the ENFP chooses a possibility I can't use my Ni superpower to understand my own future, which leaves me vulnerable to possibilities I can't predict. I think whoever holds the introverted function needs to make space to help the other one find their own clarity (not force one's own perspective upon someone else). So if there were an Fi disagreement, help your ENFJ learn how to be true to her own feelings while still aware of how the collective feels. Help her grow some of the same wisdom you have for herself, and vice versa. And giving space even though everything within you is screaming to resolving something quickly because leaving it ambiguous makes you feel vulnerable.
I still believe for my own life that having the ENFP mirror relationship is worth it even after I mentioned everything else above. Because for some reason a part of me comes out in this relationship I have never found anywhere else. My own inner child comes out to play. The part I have neglected too long thinking about the stuff in my ego just falls away. It's profoundly healing. And for yourself, maybe the ENFJ's perspective frees you. That Fe makes you think maybe the world is better than you were able to see on your own, that there is hope. That causes you to see better possibilities than you saw before. Profoundly healing.
As to not knowing if I am enough for the other person I am in the same boat. I've gotten to the point where I'm trying to live my own advice, stick out of my comfort zone, and hope it will work. Trying to trust in the same advice for myself and hoping I've done enough homework and self work to make the ideal outcome closer to a realistic possibility.
Though I do have to say as a stranger on the internet, having both your person and her mom express very positive outlooks on a potential relationship speak highly of your character. That they see the virtuous traits in you that would lead to a positive outcome.
.....
And you thought you had a wall of text!!! :)
@@EDventureous Omg I really want to read your "essay" lmao but I'm worried I don't have the concentration or the braincells
I'm an ENFP and yea I would say that you should probably tell her how you feel. She would really appreciate it (I think, can't speak for all ENFP's) and her mom seems like she is happy with it too. When it comes to the fantasies and the thought process, ENFP's and INFP's are really similar, I bet she feels the same way that you do, maybe you can talk to her about it. Good luck! :)
Thank you
Infjs do this too......a lot.
Yes, in our "own way".
Damn this shit is scary accurate... I didnt know the brain had programed personality presets...
Your fantaisies tell you what is missing in your life.
- Is this story were true, what trait would be true about myself that is not true about myself as I sit here fantasizing about it?
Who are you in the fantasy? Which trait do you have in there?
So, does developing and incorporating means habits in our life reduce the fantasies?
wow she speaks fast
I'm an ENFP-T but what is FI?
85
k neat
I disagree- The fantasy world is the main one😋🙃
Are you wearing contact lens