What Will Destroy You in Life
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- Опубліковано 2 лис 2023
- You wanting to conform to what others expect of you is holding you back in life. Hope you enjoy this short video on the importance of avoiding the urge to conform.
Robert Greene is the author of the New York Times bestsellers The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction, The 33 Strategies of War, The 50th Law, Mastery, The Laws of Human Nature, and most recently, The Daily Laws.
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Never tell anyone what you are doing in life. Don't give yourself the hit of dopamine so soon. Instead you tell no one what you are doing, and you just do it.
So true !
Yes!!!!
And in fact many of those you share your plans with will secretly want you to fail, especially if your success might elevate your status above their own…
Good point that needs to be learned. Sometimes, we need encouragement, but then we realize the people we've shared our plan with are not able to encourage us. If one doesn't care, nobody will in most cases.
"Show don't tell"
"The world changes because of your example, not because of your opinion."
So true. I wasted most of my life being externally oriented. I listened to my parents, friends, and co-workers instead of my gut and heart. Don't make my mistake.
I’m 28 and I do the same ! Idk who I am or what I want it’s hard I’m also waaay to emphatic to other but self sabotage to the max Any advice? Thank you!
@@paulamarie1453 I wish I had some advice like a simple three step plan to follow, but I don't. I think a lot of letting go of the expectations of others just comes with time and experience. But here are some thoughts that might loosen the ties that bind you enough to help you build some momentum:
We are all selfish animals and we should be. It's not bad to enjoy helping others, but if we're really honest, we do that for the selfish reason that it makes us feel good, or we get validation and approval for it, etc.
The more you notice that others just want you to do what they want you to do for their own selfish reasons, the less you care about doing anything to please them. Our society puts all kinds of expectations on us (blood is thicker than water, loyalty is important, etc). These expectations are hooks and strings used to make us sacrifice our own best interests for someone else. They may say it's the right thing to do or that a good person would do it, but in the end it's all manipulation.
I also suggest you listen to some interviews of Dr. Gabor Mate. His fundamental belief is that we are all traumatized as children by our caregivers who unwittingly make us choose between being authentic and being acceptable to them. If they don't like our behavior, they show us they don't like it.
As a child who is completely dependent on our caregivers for at least the first five or six years of life, we have no real choice - we always choose to hide and suppress our authentic self in order to be acceptable. We hide anger, pain, sadness, shame.
If mommy or daddy doesn't like when you dance or sing, you try to erase or hide those inclinations from your persona. In effect, we become fake people who look to others to see what is "right" and acceptable instead of following our own internal (and selfish) compasses. And if your childhood home was rocky or turbulent, you may be extra sensitive to the feelings of others and trying to please them above all else. Thus, we lose touch of knowing our authentic selves and what we,truly want.
Meditation is helpful in many aspects of life and this is no exception. It helps to bring calmness and then clarity to many things. Therapy might also help, and you may be able to do a lot of therapy on your own through the many helpful creators on UA-cam.
That should give you a start. Feek free to respond if you want to talk more about it.
"A lion does not concern himself with the opinions of sheep." Tywin Lannister
"The only real valuable thing is intuition."
-Albert Einstein
And perhaps knowing how to listen to it. Because it's a matter of a split second in most cases, and most of our day, we live somewhat unconsciously on autopilot.
"Any fool can know. The point is to understand."
Attributed to Albert Einstein.
My life went into a direction that i had not intended. I was attached to the wrong people. I was externally oriented(but had a big chip on my shoulder). I made changes and these past two years ive worked harder than Ive ever worked in my life. I shut myself off from the world. No social media. No dating apps. No women. No junk food. No sugar. No video games. Gym every day. Just music. Its been a beautiful thing and it's built a self-reliance and confidence that I knew i was capable of but had never fully tapped into. Here's to the next set of goals being accomplished.
Bro its been the same for me
@@chosa6158congrats bro. keep going!
By Gym you're probably referring to bodybuilding/fitness. I recently quit as i didn't see any point in it and it became really boring, plus you don't get really strong. I moved to martial arts and i felt that i wasted 10 years into that silly gym. If you're trying to build muscle/get lean, going everyday to the gym won't bring you results, quite the contrary. I agree about most of what you said but "no women", no sugar" is a bit too much for me. Its like i am going to become a monk :D
@@Annihilation_0f_The_Wicked9066 "you dont get strong" yeah ok my guy. "become a monk"... this is call sacrifice
im sorry, but the "gym everyday" people... like come on... its not that helpful, and dont get me wrong, i excercise too, but the "gym everyday", no offense, i always roll my eyes. Its not necessary and it takes too much time from you. Also martial arts instead of gym (or at least instead of some gym time ) are even better.
Sitting here bored wfh on a Friday wondering where it all went wrong. You can be well off by society's standards, but if you're not following your own path what is the point? Thank you Robert, always coming in clutch with the right ideas, right when I need them most!
You have the power within you to derive your own happiness ,,,,fuuuuck what the outta world thinks
Externally oriented.. Stop listening and paying attention to others..
Be internally oriented.. Focus and believe on yourself ❤ This is a good one 💯
Start listening 🤔
"internally oriented" would kill you in cavemen days, you'd be an outcast from the tribe
@@aloufin good thing we are not living in cavemen days haha
True ❤
I wish I would have heard this in my younger years. I still don't know who I am and what I want. Thank you for your wisdom.
You're getting it now. You're ready for it. Embrace it. 🦋❤️
If you don't mind my asking, how old are you?
I have a similar problem. I have tried many things in life but never really found true and lasting passion for anything. I wish a blood test could give me the answer.
@@sithraeil I know that feel. I generally feel like im more gravitated towards immediate pleasures and generally not towards anything useful in the long term. It would be fine and when put into perspective things are fine as they are, but theres that nagging voice in my head that begs the question: is this really all there is? Is this all life has to offer? Im also afraid that once i figure out what i want to do in life its propably too late to do it since it has passed. Like there's a constant fire under my ass yet i dont know which direction to even go.
Very good sharing, worth listening to, very impressed with you because sharing is so great.
as a creative i am trying to limit my social media usage to just sharing my art and less consumption because that’s where you lose your sense of individuality
The best self-help guru ever.
There is an equal danger in becoming self-absorbed. There is strength and deep satisfaction in helping and connecting with others.
True
The, 'Golden-mean'
Exactly! Sometimes you should think about others, how you could help them, how you could share them your knowledge, how you could make them stronger.
If you want to help and connect with others then you are internally motivated. Codependents don’t want to, but they pretend to want to and do it anyway. And it always destroys them.
Becoming internally orientated - to know what you want, to know what your desires are, to know what makes you unique and to be able to focus on that, and not other peoples expectations of you
Dear Mr. Greene, i'm a young and naive person but your books helped me a lot to see the world as it is. I bought all of your book and you are my one of the most influenced author. I wish you best in life and i hope we will get your new book soon.
One thing people should know is that a crash and bullish market provides equal high-yield potential, it's all about information and strategy application, I've seen folks make huge 7 figure profit in crashing market and pull it off much easily in bull market. Personally I’ve made over $310k in this year. There are lots of opportunities in the market, unfortunately people are not utilizing them.
What opportunities are there in the market and how do I profit from it?
@@NaomieEvaAddams There are quite a number of undervalued stocks and Defi assets available in the market, get in on them. You can also short the market, there’s a lot that can be done to maximize profit.
I'm very interested in investing and I have good sum of which I'm willing to put in with the right information. Tried investing in stocks myself a few times but I’ve never been in luck picking stocks.
@@adijkhady2840 Having an advisor is essential for making high yields investment, portfolio growth and diversification as well as Capital preservation which is just as important as the stocks you buy.
The mistake most newbies make is rushing into trading without adequate knowledge or guide
Thank you Robert. Your efforts to educate are, as always, highly appreciated.
Intuitively this makes a lot of sense, the way Robert puts into perspective is priceless!
Your books and lessons are helping me so much. Thank you
Please keep making more videos. Your wisdom is priceless.
I have many of your books. Just wanted to say thank you for sharing your intelligence and the work you have put in to help others 😊
Thank you for this video Robert Greene!
Thanks for the reminder RG. I plan to read more of Mastery over the weekend.
I recently read the first chapter in the laws of human nature.
Took my time and thought about it.
The law of rationality.
Those pages made me realize that a lot of the limits I put on my self, and/or how I thought others might perceive me in a negative way for no reason at all, are all irrational and not true. Rationality will help you get rid of negative self believes about yourself. Looking forward to read the rest of the book.
It's the best book i've ever read. You're in for a treat and a big breakthrough in life.
I feel very privileged to have him around for my ears
Thank you so much Robert Greene, your solomonic wisdom inspire me alot. Each video is a mentorship session to me.
Thank you for keeping these videos short and to the point! This makes the difference between me actually watching the videos and just putting them into my "watch later" list....
Thank you for your wisdom.
Always dropping gems at the right time. Thanks, father figure. #DailyLaws 🇿🇦
UA-cam comments can be the worst if we have a channel and aren’t internally oriented.
Some people seemingly take out their aggression on UA-cam- kind of like some do the same while shopping- and if we take what they say personally, it literally will destroy us.
Very true. The more you focus on your own mind and your own skills, the more rewarding the efforts are, I believe. Sometimes you need to be externally oriented, but only for the sake of education, to learn new things about the world and other people. But in the end, you need to educate yourself for YOU, not other people. Also, you can use the world to become more independent.
Amen. May God continue blessing you. 👑
Thank you Robert, your books are changing my life, they should be placed in a museum and used for teaching in school 10+
Thanks so much for this wonderful present, Robert.
I hope this idea penetrates my mind so it can have the desired results. 🙏🏼
Robert.......this isn't a comment. This is a thank you. Your authorship had a impact of many magnitudes in my daily life.
Thank you.
Gracias por las lecciones y estos libros que han cambiado mi vida ❤
Well said! Thank you for sharing!❤
Thanks for sharing Brother Robert for sharing!❤❤❤
Amen and Amen brother - thank you 👍🏻
One of the greatest mentors n writers Robert Greene ❤
Thank you, Robert. This helps me to focus on my goal.
How could I have missed SO many of your talks?! On to reading your books. So grateful to have come across your talks. I wish I would have heard you decades ago; a controlling mom, she meant well.
wow, thank you so much ❤
I never thought about it like that, thank you
I never sense, that you sound like a broken record, good ser.
You are an excellent mentor to the world,
bringing unique perspectives,
that are direly needed.
you are a gem, I hope I can live enough to read your next book
You’ve been one of the mentor’s of my life, thank you
I really needed to hear something like that this morning.
Thanks for this short and sweet video Robert
This is what I have been working on for years. I've accumulated some knick nacks, some hobbies, music ect. Take time to explore what you like and be curious in a good way.
Thanks for the videos, Robert.
It's like with internal and external locus of control. Man, I think you're the best, you taught me so much.
Big Like 👍 for Robert Greene
Thank you!
This is excellent motivation for me as I've been pondering for weeks whether I should continue driving a bus or go back to fully being a teacher. I work both jobs, but I'm considering cutting one of them.
Very good sharing, worth listening to, very impressed with you because sharing is so great.
People's expectations always need to be met. It starts with a job interview. If you don't tick the box, you're out right away. If not, then later, once you are a worker, perhaps bring in an idea that doesn't fit the box. Better to discover your unique talent and venture out on your own to add the most value to others who will truly appreciate it. I think it's situational as well. While an internal locus of control is probably better, also, an external locus of control or perhaps a mix can help. If I left the house on time but was caught up in a traffic jam I could not foresee, I'd argue it would be a mix. Of course, I can also tell myself I should have left much earlier. Perhaps it's not so black and white.
The most important is to realign your goals from your own capabilities and your gut feel, your instincts, because no one will pay the price after you do those little things you think you could be someone you wish to transform to.
I was always a strong leader even as a child....nobody could bully me or guilt trip me into doing things that don't feel right.....
I on the other hand was highly susceptible to outside influences simply because of my sensitive nature of perception let other students push me around. Whatever happened, there is no point in taking blame or feeling ashamed as this was long ago and in present times you have to look forward and move onward.
One of his best insights!
You are wise. Yes you are right.
Say thanks to this man
I watched this video yesterday and I had come back again today.
Thanks Robert, you give me inspiration that I needed. Be inner oriented :)
Thank you Master
Thank you RG.
I love you! Thank you for always being that bright light at the end of the dark tunnel
So true esp these days with social media
Thank you
I’m totally agree with you 💯💯🙏🙏🙏
Thank you.
Robert, I see a comedian in you :) Behind all the seriousness. Keep up the great work, you are a blessing.
Totally 💯 great advice 👍
Thanks for the message
Thank you ❤
Thank you 🙏🙏🙏 Appreciate it 🙏
Wisdom at the top.
Robert, you are a gem ❤❤❤
Thank you man Love you❤
Thanks for the reminder :)
The following is a problem I face in relation to this idea you mentioned.
You kind of scared me there, before I heard the answer... Although, I am very much internally orientated, it seems I may be far too much so, or more likely not fully individuated at the same time.
Setting two forms of dyslexia, and ADHD aside, I have this problem I can't seem to get around and I suspect it's emotional in nature or in principle.
When I found out how governments work, where they get their power and how the legal matrix is a fraud and scam on our society, which is situated now outside of true common law; well.. it now sickens me to be a part of that system, or to use my incorporated name, which is bonded to the government as a security for issuance of debt.
So I'm trapped in a job which saps all my physical energy, and if i don't get a drivers licence organized, I will not last that much longer like this. isolated in the countryside, reliant on fellow employees to get to work or the shop to buy food. I can't even buy clothes, or anything easily.
Following my internal dreams is my dream, but with my traumatic history, mental "disabilities" and moral stance which precludes me from going further into this legal matrix, I am FEELING very trapped.
It is not fun at all to be nearly, but not quite a genius. I gain so much more than those around me, but the price paid appears to be the inability to do anything "normal" people can do without a second thought.
Should I dig further into this legal matrix and risk making it even more difficult to extract myself later?
I could be a great painter/artist in the form of a psychoanalyst, but I'm afraid to make mponey, because i will have to face off with the government if they catch me making money. So i can't make any legal tender, and people aren't using gold and silver, or even crypto enough to survive on it, let alone use it to buy food and pay for electricity etc.
Maybe it's better to ask, when your life has always been chaos, and chaos is the only place you have known how to survive well in, how do you learn how to learn and motivate oneself into a life of order, so that one may solve these types of issues.
For example, maybe it sounds as simple as fill in all those forms and run around like a headless chicken with time I don't have from work to get my drivers licence, which leads to a car eventually and then progressing into the matrix of debt and slavery.
Or if you can't fill out the forms, go to therapy and solve the emotional aspects of this gordian knott. (interesting I searched gordian knott to be accurate, and Alexanders sword cutting story appeared...hmmmmm)
I've tried therapy. I continued it myself using art as a form of expression and dialogue with the unconscious, which is working well , albeit a slow learning process and discoveries.
Anyway, I'm in my early forties, and I suppose this comment is one of many i write at this length, when i have been inspired to reach out for some more inspiration.
I never get an answer, but the process of writing these things does help a little in finding new perspectives. The sword cutting the knott for example.
I will have to think on that one for a while.
But if there are suggestions, I would be happy to hear them, even though, because of the emotional block, i suspect i will intellectualize ways around them. :/
oh.. haha maybe i am too externally orientated XD
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This one is tough for people who have a lot of magnetism toward others, but totally possible if you take the time to really get to know yourself.
So True.
I hope you have a long happy life, i think you are the most successful author , you taught me so much,thank you.
I choose you as my mentor 😊
Thankyou sir ❤
Thank u for this Robert........David in lreland
My mentor
thank you so much
Long ago I said to myself",Life is the journey inside ."
ily ur books
I’m glad you made this video because this is the first time I may not fully agree with you. Since I was young my source of motivation was quite internally oriented and I’m starting to think that this was a double-edged sword. I’m significantly lacking in sources of motivation that comes externally, so when my personal principles, values, or my entire belief system are being tested and question (internally or externally) I feel paralysed, stuck, or maybe depressed. I feel like there’s no ambition or goal worth achieving due to a very neutral or open-ended philosophy I have with life. I wish this is a topic you would be interested to expand on or even write about. My motivation works like a switch, I can be obsessed about a goal to the extent of risking my health or be completely indifferent to the point of being nihilistic.
You're not alone, you might as well be describing my life too…
This is extremely intriguing. Could you explain it more? From what I understand, if something isn't personally intriguing or intereting to you, you won't pursue it.
Out of curiosity, how old are you? I'm young, 26, and would like to focus on being more internally motivated. Any words of thought/advice?
I believe you
On point!
Well put. 100%. Thanks, Robert. This has happened today. The opinions and expectations of others kept recurring in my mind. After listening to this, I'm inspired. I know you'll not see this comment😂,
B
ut thanks once more.
Absolutely true
Exactly, art in yourself, or yourself in the art. Stanislavsky😊
good points man, for me finding myself is more than a meme or cliche its survival
Thanks appreciate alot
Wish this was longer.
Thanks
Thank you very much always I love you and your widow that God has give me you , I am young Man but I need one day to see you face to face I am form Rwanda Kigali east Africa region
whatever robert says.. i listen. full stop.