WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SHOW SELF HARM SCARS
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- Опубліковано 5 лип 2020
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I love youuuuuu all xx
I didn't even know I was addicted until I tried to stop...
same...
Me too I have urges everyday it’s honestly terrible but I am proud to say that I am 7 months clean😊
I’m a week clean 🙃
Taylor Hammond same! Congrats ❤️
I felt this.
My go to excuse is "I got into a fight with 15 tiny bears with butterfly wings, so there we go". Nobody really questions it after that
I'm going to use this now.
Thank you :)
Omg thank you for thw idea becasue i cant say "oh there just cat scratches" i dont have a cat ;-;
my go-to answer for whenever anyone asks is "i hurt myself" then i'll smile and watch THEM be in an awkward position instead of me
Hahaha
gonna do this in retaliation too haha
I worked at a after school play center and one of the older ones asked if I cut myself and self harmed. 😱 I just laughed it off. But she hit the nail head on!😭
I have very uncommon looking self harm scars due to my methods. It’s an interesting experience as almost no one knows how to identify them. This sometimes gives me a sense of security but also made me feel invalidated and unseen when I really needed help. A couple people who know me really well can identify them and it makes me quite uncomfortable but I try to ignore it. I also have a meaningful tattoo covering a couple of them which helps.
Same I have younger siblings. And I feel ashamed of them especially around my parents
I think the hardest thing is when your parents see it. Personally I’m not ‘ashamed’ but I also don’t wanna trigger or offend people (idk how to explain it) I have v young siblings so I hide them when I think it’s appropriate. I really like this video though as it puts my mind to rest 💗💗💗
I hide mine from everyone and I have a love/hate relationship with them in general.
I love mine I just hate how my freedom in certain clothes is gone and I feel like I have to hide away
I only showed my self-harm to my gp not to my family
Your background is on point looool it matches your eyes and what you’re wearing. ❤️
I think it's important to say that all self harm doesn't let scars, and it's not because you don't have scars that you're not valid :)
Yeah, one of my best friends is clean now and he has no scars. I self harm and have scars but some are fading so your comment is so important x
thank you for saying this i’ve struggled with accepting that just because i don’t scar all the time doesn’t mean i’m not valid and for other people who don’t validate people who don’t have scars
Thank. You. I feel shit when it doesn’t scar bc I feel like it doesn’t count :(( love u all we can get thru this 🖤🖤
i have no scars but i so sh
⚠️SH TW if u read more⚠️
in the upper skin layer with a very sharp scissor and like press the scissors into my skin
I hate when it doesn't scar. Or when it takes a while to bleed. Makes me feel like I half-did it. 😢
Took me forever to untangle my headphones so I could watch the video but I can finally watch the video
Chantelle Herron this made me chuckle so glad you untangled them to watch the video 😂😂
Is it bc ur family would hear? Poor thing I hope ur okay x
I've NEVER shown anyone them because I'm very ashamed. It's a HUGE reason I've been single for 4 years now!. Never shown a woman them before....imagine when things happen and she see's them!! Oh God! Fills me with so much anxiety and panic! And and if I told her before hand she would run a mile. Puts me right off a relationship of not being accepted for poor MH and SH scars. You're so much braver than me I just couldn't do it.
I think the right person would 100% accept who you are with physical and internal scars. My scars are all up and down my arm and some are very deep it has been a year that I’ve been clean now and I never thought it would be. They’re still healing so some are white the worse ones are kind of purple. I still haven’t shown them in public but I know that one day I will and no one else’s opinions will matter because it would have taken everything in me to not hurt myself again that way and to do something that is so simple for others such as wear a short sleeve shirt. You can do it and I believe in you. I know that especially for men or whoever you are it can be seen as more taboo because people are stupid and I recognize that men’s mental health issues are often ignored. Mental health in general still needs a lot of acceptance and understanding. My point is that I know you can do it and it’s okay if it takes time. Try to take care of yourself and if that alone is so hard of course maybe we can just try not to neglect ourselves as much as possible. Love from a 19 year old girl who is trying to figure her life out and get her shit together. I hope you’re doing okay these days and if not it will pass and it’ll come back and it’ll go but hold onto what you love, I love you!
I hope you found a girl that loves you for everything you've done and gone through.❤
I hope you know that the right girl would not see you any differently, in fact she'd be there for you. I hope you find peace within yourself, we can do this! 🫶
i haven’t watched the video yet.... but for the first time in 2 years i’ve worn a bikini and shown my thigh scars! i am kinda silly and am not ready to tell people so i basically just ran into the sea and positioned myself so my friends couldn’t really see them:/ idk if that’s the best thing but i know when i feel comfortable i will open up about it but i’m actually really proud of myself for even accepting to go to the beach with my friends bc i was PETRIFIED of people seeing my scars:( regardless i am 1 day away from being 8 MONTHS CLEAN and i’m so proud of myself🤍
So proud of you!! ❤️
I am 7 months clean😊😊🥳🥳
Susie Melirosa proud of you🤍🤍
If you're not ready yet, but still wanna enjoy the beach and not constantly worry over anyone seeing them, you just could get one of these longer swimming pants, usually worn by surfers and many masc ppl. And good on ya for staying clean!
I feel you! And so proud of you! If you wanna talk sc me @jessicajoo10
stay strong. i've been clean for 20 days now (longest ever!!)and i am trying hard!!!! love you. i believe you can do this along with everyone else xx
I'm proud of you!!!!!!!!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍Keep going.
So proud of u ❤️
That’s amazing you’ve got this gorg xxx
Me too, 20 days as well! I am proud of you and keep going!!!
That's so great, keep it up!
I'm so proud of you 💕💕
I like what you said about self harm being abusive - I've never thought of it that way, but picture someone doing something like that to someone else - even if they claim it's to help them, it's for their own good - that would be very very serious abuse. Yet we tend not to (or I tend not to anyway) think of it as such a bad thing, when we do it to ourselves.. Sh*t, we're living creatures, we deserve so much better! Yet it's SO hard to get out of it. So much love to you all!! 💕
I'm 4 months self clean!!! :)
Welldone!
Well done I’m only 1 week so Ik how hard it is❤️
I really want to be able to be confident and not have to hide my scars. I’m so scared and i hide my depression and anxiety so well around other people. They think I’m a happy, bubbly person but im really not. I’m struggling so much and I’m scared that if people see my cuts they’ll judge me. I was clean for 2 years before recently relapsing. I’m getting professional help but I don’t know how im ever going to get better. I feel like I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to die but i dont want to live this life anymore.
Its so hard to live your life as a lie and constantly be hiding behind a smile. Does it ever get better. I feel like theres not a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like im having a breakdown.
Im so proud of you for even thinking about saying this never mind saying it!!
Even though it doesnt feel like it this is the first step or achievement
Things that help you feel a tiny bit better or motivated is:
Constantly surround yourself with positive things like quotes
Workout a couple of times a week
Make a diary about how you feel and why and what positive thing you can do next time
Figit toys or sensory toys (colouring books, squishys)
Create a buckit list for motivation
These things are just another step forward it is not going to help straight away but if you really want to enjoy life you need to be willing to try to do things that are going to be very difficult but have an amazing ending
If you acknowledge every little or big achievement and make yourself feel proud you will go far in life
And also know that the best life is the life you enjoy not riches ect
I am always her if you need me if we live close to eachother and your comfortable i am more than happy to go for a walk or pinic and help you through your struggles and help you stay motivated
Insta- ellie_mw_04
Snapchat- ellie.mw2004
I used to think things would never get better, and I know this is what everyone says and it's kinda cheesy, but it will eventually get better. Maybe not a lot but maybe just a bit, to the point where it's manageable. There will be more dark times to come, and I'm currently not doing great, my mum may need a very risky surgery and my best friend is in a dark place right now, so I'm trying to stay strong. But things will get better, and I believe that we can both overcome the troubles that we're facing. Although I don't know you, I believe that you're capable of getting through this tough time. If you ever want to dm me on Instagram to rant or just talk about things, I will listen to you. Just reply to this message asking, and I'll happily give you my insta name. Until then, stay strong ❤️
I can relate to this alot.. It will get better, especially as you're getting help. It takes time but don't give up, you won't feel this way forever xx
it's hard when it feels like you are going nowhere. believe me you've got this. i've been in therapy for three years and had multiple psych stays and hospital stays. it seems impossible but i promise you will learn how to cope. impossible literally spells out i'm possible x
ellie mw thank you so so much that really helps ❤️🥰
I'm really only ashamed in front of my family. Not to public or friends cuz I know my friends dont judge me and random peoples opions dont matter but my family they dont understand me and their opinions do matter to me
Yeeeeaaaaahhhhh same
Yeah.
I have never had a verbal reaction from strangers in public. The most common reactions are people who see them and then make a conscious decision to look away very fast or sympathetic looks. My scars are thick white scars all up the bottom of my arms. I have extremely pale skin so they blend from a distance but they are very visible up close. I have never made any effort to hide them. Life's too short for me to dwell on them.
I have however had some horrendous treatment from medical professionals when I was living in the United Kingdom. It's not something I feel comfortable sharing.
I don't know how to _not_ wear long sleeves
People keep asking since it's summer but I just change the subject
I want to. I want to be normal. I just utterly fear the judgement of my family and of... the world I guess.
I don't know what to do and I'm so nervous and missing out on fun little things like swimming and going places, out of fear of showing any skin
I know it’s easier said than done and I’m still not there yet but I just set myself small goals to help build up my confidence, like going to a shop for 5 minutes in short sleeves and then going for a walk in short sleeves and slowly building up to it! You will get there I promise x
Mine aren’t as visible and you can only see if you try to look for something but I still have to wear jumpers and hoodies even in the summer cos I’m extremely self conscious of them too so Ik how you feel💝
A thing to get used to it, is going out on short sleeves where nobody knows you. They can think whatever tf they want cause you'll probably won't ever meet them again. Like, going shopping in another town etc. And generally a lot less ppl notice than you'd think.
I wore long sleeves for about 4 years and I was lucky that when I started showing them I've never had any rude people, im clean for 5 months now which is the longest I've ever been!! 😊
I've got one year until I graduate from university and I would love to be able to wear short sleeves then. Haven't worn my arms out in over 8 years so it's something to work towards! Thank you always for the video xxx
U do u don't be ashamed uv got this xx
you can do this I believe in you 💞
@@jamiehickey5626 thank you so much xx
@@kaitomomotaluminaryofthest8258 thank you💗💗
“I am more than my scars. I am more than my past.” Thank you ❤️
You made me cry explaining self harm being secretive cuz that's exactly how I feel
Marie I'm so deep I'm beyond help keep doing what your doing save as many people as possible. It's a horrible life ro have to live. Your a blessing to so many especially me marie
I’m really tired of hiding my scars, and also I’m very sad because I always think no one will ever love me because of the way that I look
If they only want you for the way you look, it's not love anyway , just lust or infatuation.
I hope you find what you deserve which is someone who loves you regardless.
🐪
Your eyes, top and background all match and work together so well it's so aesthetic ❤️
I've had scars for quite a while now and have finally got to a place where I do not think twice to where short sleeves to show the ones on my arms. It does get easier with practice. I found the best way to go about making yourself feel more comfortable with them is to first start wearing short sleeves when you are by yourself. It took me ages to realise that I was subconsciously hiding the scars from myself!
From there, I started wearing long sleeves in public but pushing up the sleeves little by little. Being able to cover them up if I felt too overwhelmed gave me security and confidence. I realised that often it is the fear of other peoples' judgements that caused me to cover up and over time I came to see that for the majority of the time people will not comment.
When I have had comments I tend to to keep it simple. If people have said "what's on your arms", "what happened to you" or "what are those" I have found that simply saying "oh these are scars". It gives them the response that they often want and also tells them that there is nothing more to talk about. People who pry are definitely frustrating but often they do so because they are curious or confused and I respond by saying that they are self harm scars and move the conversation on. With younger children I explain that they are called scars and it happens when the skin heals itself after it is hurt.
I hope this helps some people. Thank you so much Marie for your videos. I absolutely love them and they always put a smile on my face. Lots of love x
As a guy who has self harm scars from many years ago, that run down my right forearm and right thigh which are extremely visible. When I go out somewhere, unless it's to one of my family member's or friend's house. I always wear a hoodie. Even in the summer.
I'm still ashamed of what I did. So, I hide them.
i’m sitting on the toilet at 2:30am contemplating life...the videos help a little thankyou
i’ve been there but trust me, it gets better. you are so loved and the world would be loosing a beautiful person if you try to hurt yourself. reach out to someone for help, it’s scary but it will be so worth it. text me if you want to talk more 918-810-0001 ♥️♥️ you got this
hope your better now ❤
I was wearing shorts the other day and my mum saw my scars (she knows about my self harm) and asked what it was and I just said scars. She told me I couldn't wear shorts anymore and I felt really embarrassed, I usually would've changed and put on leggings but I'm at the point of accepting that these scars are on me forever, and I won't let anyone dictate what I should wear and if I should show them. Love you Marie 💛
Edit: I'm 11 days clean!
Congratulations! That should be 17 days now?
More than 2 weeks! Yay!
Sorry if I sound like I’m being sarcastic, I’m not trying to, everything sounds like it so I find no difference. ;-;
First time I met up with friends short sleeved I just text them before hand like btw I have scars on my arms, they're not that obvious but if you notice pls don't say anything. Worked like a charm, they didn't say a thing or even look! Would defo recomend a quick text before meeting then you don't even have to deal with it in real life!!!
I got yelled at, and threatened to get put in a mental hospital and my granddad said "if your going to cut i'll do it for you" and that sucks.
I’m srry that happened to you!🤍
To anybody who is struggling right now, I promise you will get through this! Never forget your worth and how incredible you are. I am just over a month clean from self harm which is the longest I’ve ever gone in my 3 years of self harm struggles, so it is possible! Amazing video as always Marie x 💓💓
I still do it, and I have this one friend I will tell and that's only because they usually help and because I would trust them with my life and also because they get it
I have just this summer started to show my scars on my thighs although I am not ready for my arms yet. It feels really good to not always wear tights anymore. Most people react really good, they are faded and I think most people don't even notice, so don't be scared. I would never have thought that this would turn out so well.
I've been clean for almost a year now! I still think about it all the time and whenever I'm feeling low it's the first thing my brain goes to but it gets easier and easier to brush off them thoughts.
“Hey Siri” iPad and phone start off on one, thanks Marie 😂😂😂
I want to say thank you, your one of the couple youtubers that have helped me smile and luckly not kill myself so, thank you Marie ❤
You're the reason I feel comfortable with showing my arms in public. 💗🥰
Thanks for sharing about your mental health. I try to but I get turned down with sharing it on public platforms. I do have SH scars and it’s a pain to respond with a lie. I wore long sleeves till it got hot out. Then people started talking. Unfortunately I have scars on my legs too
I'm a 30 year old man and I have had two reactions to my scars. From men zero response. They just ignore them. From women I have had snide remarks, weird looks, nasty comments and had it made clear to me that self harm scars are just not accepted by women when dating.
The right woman will not care about your scars, if they do care they are not worth it.
ik this is a second comment. remember going through self harm addiction and mental health issues, can help shape you in a good way. you will get through this don't give up you got this x
I’ve been watching your videos for more than a year now and it’s so incredible to see how much you’ve grown :) I feel like I’ve grown with you. You gave me the courage to wear my arms out for the first time in 2 years, thankyou for making me feel less alone❤️
My scars are so large and so obvious. They’re bright and thick, even though it was so long ago. Some of them have flattened, but the biggest ones haven’t. Summers are getting so hot and I can’t take the heat, but I can’t show them. Idk how to manage
Your clarity and strength is so inspiring, thank you!!
you’re literally so gorgeous Marie!!!! you’re videos are so uplifting bc even though they are on serious topics they are relatable and you make them entertaining and funny to watch at the same time !! this has also come at such a good time, I relapsed the other day after being clean for a while but it makes me feel less alone being able to watch videos like this. I love you💞💞💞
Your background is just fine I personally don't show my self harm scars your beautiful and perfect the way you are love you so much no one should ever judge you just because if you have scars they are beautiful and you are beautiful
I’ve never been so early.
Hey Marie, I hope you’re doing well. I really appreciate all your videos. They’re so helpful. Keep doing what you’re doing. Stay Strong. I’m proud of you ❤️.
We appreciate you Marie in everyone sense of the word. We appreciate you telling your story, you giving us advice and you just being you
"should you self harm? That is a no" sksk great video ❤️
You look absolutely gorgeous in this video. I'm super grateful for your videos, they got me through the hardest year of my life and now I am going into my second year of uni. I can always come back here to feel comforted and understood. I hope you're doing well
Marie I love you so much you are my inspiration and I watch your videos all the time. I have a lot of scars that I get many comments on. Mine are pink or white and are all keloid. I love watching you show them and not being ashamed of it. I love you, keep up the good work babe
Thank ya for everything. You helped me SO much in hard times. ❤️❤️
It’s always “what happened” and idk what to say it’s so embarrassing for some reason
this helped me sm especially as is it’s getting closer to summer! love youuuu
Thankyou for this Marie ❤️❤️
If I hadn't found your channel when I did I would be in a much worse place right now and although things still aren't perfect you've really helped me through self harm issues and other mental health advice. I've been clean since april and I'm so excited! yay! I just wanted to say thank you and if I ever lose it again I know I can come here and your videos will help me. Thank you.
i’m so proud of you!!! keep going, you’re amazing xxxx
My sister’s wedding is in 3 weeks, and only the people I live with know about my self harm/have seen it before. Even my sister & her fiancé don’t actually know much, only that I’ve done it. It’s really scary thinking about more family & friends seeing scars etc but this video helped me feel better about it. I won’t be ashamed anymore
Err idk it's a tricky one. I literally stood there in the past watching a group of guys mock a girl behind her back for showing hers when they were fully white at work.
I have been clean for about a week, I love you and I really care for you , wish you all the best bby
Yayy well done!! ❤️
@@KodasCove thanks x
Well done I’m 1 week clean aswell ❤️
rest in peace ❤️
Your so inspirational and amazing keep doing what your doing and stay strong ty for your UA-cam Chanel it’s good to know others go through it 😘😘😘
You make my whole week and day when your upload😊 I just frickin love you ❤️
Ps: loving this new series it’s so helpful and I also love the background too x
Your so inspirational ⭐️ and I’m so proud of youuu x
I love this video tbh and I love this series
the power in this video was something else. honestly got so emotional watching it tho
Your hair looks so cute!
Thanks for this video. Really helpful. I am 5 months clean( longest ever) but still struggle with showing my scars.
Once my family knows. I do want to start wearing my one-piece when swimming instead of swim shorts. It's annoying, as well as wearing just above the elbow-sleeved shirts. Especially on special occasions when I want to wear a dress. I'm just worried others are gonna be uncomfotable when I'm completely fine with mine.
this was so understanding ❤❤
Love this video Marie!
Also come on everyone lets get Marie to 100k !!!!! xoxo
thabkyou for this video marie ❤️❤️❤️
💖💖
Thanks for making this video very appreciated, now I’m think of actually wearing any shirts I want even in public
u make me not feel alone 💕
stay strong lovely. i've been clean since october so i am trying hard!!!! love you. i believe you can do this xxx
You have got this❤️❤️❤️
J Milligan thanks this is the longest i've managed!!!
@@charliewilson9085 good job ^^
Love your videos ❤ I'm really trying to not fall into bad habits and this video was really helpful 💪😊
Okay but also, you don't owe anyone, especially strangers, an explanation. 💕💕
I never used to hide mine. Now I have a massive tattoo that covers the entire thing. Something that covers my whole leg that I “did” and now they’re something even more beautiful than just the skin I had ❤️
I am 18 and have been self harming since I was 13/14 and I still hide my arms from everyone; no one knows so I feel like I can't show them because my mum doesn't know and I still live with her.
I'm 27 and there are so many people in my life who have no idea about my scars (or tattoos covering some of them) and they also don't know fully or at all about my mental health. I feel a bit like Hannah Montana sometimes, where I'm hiding the truth about myself because I don't want others to see me differently. I know that I'll never tell my parents, because they are the majority of the reason for my self harm. In terms of friends, sometimes I find that once people know, I become more self conscious and find it harder to hide my anxiety and depression. I don't know. I feel like the longer you go without telling someone, the worse it'll be because they'll wonder how you managed to hide it for so long.
Im sorry man
I love these videos baby! Great tips
Love dis vid marie💙💙💙
When you said hey Siri mine turned on 😂😂😂😂
I’m three weeks clean! One more week and I’ll be at a month, wish me luck!
Good luck❤❤
I love This new Series I find it very helpful and I hope you are well. thanks for you videos I’ve been clean for 6 months thanks to you positivity on ig and yt XX
Hey Marie thanks for the video I love you hope you are well and safe
im a student nurse im a first year university student which is a big deal for me because I genuinely didnt belive I would get into uni
but whenever we go on work expierience obviously we have to wear our arms out because the uniform has short sleeves and for a good reason
but I am absolutely terrified of being judged on work expierience luckily I never have had any comments but it still causes me great anxiety
i got my arms tattood to make my scars less noticeable. i live in a tiny rural village and people dont think twice about asking why i was wearing long sleeves all the time. bapscarcare gel to smooth them a bit then got my tattoo guy to cover them. luckily everyone knows im a tatt fan anyway xx
its different of a friend or loved one vs a stranger. if im not in the mood my CPN said itl be good to say " im going though stuff atm ( or say its private) and i would raver not go into it if that is okie"
or with a friend that knows about my BPD " i relapsed, im fine and its cleaned out, im just going though stuff il talk to you about it when im ready okie?" with friends its concern my mum would shame me and had people in my teen years pull down my sleeve going " omg eww ur a cutter!" etc so i got ashamed cus of abuse and doctors so would hide it so much!
now im like naa not gonna feed into the self harm shame cycle ! take care marie xx
I'm very scared of my elder sister reaction...
I think your background is great honestly!! 😘 very pretty blue
i love your hair!
i’m not addicted because i don’t do it everyday. i haven’t done it since last week and that was the first time in 1 year (my first time). i’m healing rlly fast
love your new videos
Luckily I'm quarantined this summer so I dont have say nothing to nobody
Can you do videos on what happens when you get sectioned and what happens when you get put on level 3? I've always been so interested in those two things xx
Also I've worn long sleeves since the age of 13 and now my arms get cold soo easily without sleeves. It's like they don't know how to cope with the fresh air haha
I am so ashamed I wore a long sleeved sweater in like 20 degrees and I was out all day and I almost fainted I hated it
but like what if my parents don’t know abt them and they see them i don’t want them to look at me with disappointment
I definitely get people trying to flirt with me using my scars and it makes my skin crawlllll it makes me so uncomfortable😂something else that I found a bit odd was an old friend randomly said ‘I think you’re so brave’ and looked at me in a pitying way and I was like ‘what do you mean?’ And he said ‘you just walk around with your scars out and you wear short sleeved tops and shorts all of the time’ and I was just kinda like well yeah???? It’s summer, I’m not gonna boil whenever it’s hot for the rest of my life, I spent enough time covering myself up when they were fresh. I found it a bit rude even though he didn’t mean it in a malicious way but I was just kinda like that’s part of my body
My scars are all up and down my arm bc it was the easeyest to cut deep and hide with gloves or long aleeves and now i hate all the cloths i wore when hiding thwm. I have hard timea qhering hooda any.ore bc i feel like people are gonna think i relapsed
I love you! I love you! I LOVE YOU!!!!!
😍💜💙💚💛❤💖
That is all. Please continue being awesome 😎
i was forced into showing mine but it was what i needed to be able to do it myself
She turned on my siri haaaa x