learn your kids to marry equally rich then, because this is what old money does ... and in fact it is self-regulating across the entire population in fact that people tend to marry in the same wealth group
When I studied at the University of Cambridge I became quite close friends with the nephew of a Countess and I can confirm so many of these points! He was one of the most polite guys I've ever met, but also one of the most confident due to his family history. From his clothes I would have never guessed he was of noble descendent: for instance, when playing tennis he wouldn't dress in anything fancy, but told me later on he had a tennis court at home where he played with his dad!!
I used to tutor/babysit a 15-year-old girl from an old money family before sending her off to a British boarding school. I spent a week with her in the best hotel, showed her around the city, trained her English communication skills etc. Everything she used looked luxurious, but like Anna always says, no logo (well, until she opened her washbag and there was obviously something from Chanel). She never showed me that "I've paid you, peasant" attitude like most my other clients do. She told me to order any room service, showed appreciation for my help and called me "big sister" (I was melted). The only thing she requested during the week was Shin Ramyun (spicy instant noodles). I refused to spend her money and had a week of Shin Ramyun with her. Prior to meeting her, I had met her older sister, who apparently had several Hermes bags which she took to the meeting room, put on the floor and casually shoved under the desk. That's a strong contrast with those who threw their bags and coats in your face. These sisters are eye-opening, in a very good way. They are friendly, kind, and humble; even if they hired you to do things for them, they would treat you with respect. At times I heard my colleagues joked about how the sisters owned so many Hermes bags at a young age, that they were spoiled etc. I told them about the Shin Ramyun and educated my colleagues not to be so judgemental. Seriously, they're not spoiled or big spenders, that's the price range they are comfortable with but it's unfortunately not the same as your range. P.S. One funny story. One time when my boss was travelling to China, the parents of these sisters were also on a business trip there and they invited my boss for dinner. My boss wore his best suit and had his hair done and such, but eventually, the clients took him to the street food market and wondered why my boss was so over-dressed🤣
My fiancé came from an old money family. Can you believe that he worked at fast food and coffee shops when he was younger just to learn to be an independent person? He’s so down to earth that you will never think that they are that rich. He’s a CEO in their family business now and he treats his employees with so much respect. He’s a wonderful man ☺️
Two of my ex boyfriends were from the same background, except they were so different 😆 The first was like the guy you mentioned, really polite, hard worker, etc, and like my family, had to work for money, not through necessity but for character building. The second just enjoyed spending his parents' money and messing around on his estate, throwing huge house parties, etc. 😒
I can believe it…. My father refused to buy me a car like all my friends (who were getting Mercedes and hummers, no accounting for teenage taste haha) until I worked at an ice cream shop and then waiting tables. He taught us the value of a dollar early and the importance I’d hanging on to it. I was complaining about something trivial once and he pointed out the Porsche our neighbor had, then proceeded to explain to me exactly how much debt they were in… That was an important early lesson in appearances not always being what they seem.
One of my Mother's biggest complaints was that we were too poor for me to go to Finishing School. Later, I got a job working for a prominent "old money", as you say it, family and her first comment was "Now you will learn some manners!" Haha. My employers treated me very nicely and I learned a great deal about how things are done. Good manners, a knowledge of etiquette, being cultured and having a good education will take a person quite far in life. Some of these things build character so that even if a lady doesn't have the opportunity to move in the first circles, she will always stand out as a fine person. What I like about "old money" is that such people are often very pleasant and easy. They are often quite discreet about things and have a sense of service and obligation towards others. They are comfortable about themselves and do not feel the need to boast about their possessions or lives. What I dislike is that such circles can be rather closed to people who are not the same as they are. I think the best thing is to take such people at face value, not to try to be like them but to emulate the good points that are accessible.
You mentioned pros and cons that were nail on the head! I had the opportunity to go to finishing school just for a short time and what I gathered was this: good manners are expressions of respect to those around us. It says, “I care enough to spend time to learn how to act around you because I care what you think of me.” And you, my friend, already exude that manner in your empathy for inclusion in a group that can be somewhat cliquey. You obviously already had “good manners”, just by thinking of others the way you do
My parents came from "old money", growing up i only wore tailored clothing, and my mom actually had stores closed down so she can shop. That being said, everything anna said is SPOT ON...the richer you are, the more low key you are ...you will never see millionaires act like they are so filthy rich....everything is subtle but absolutely polished and "clean". They always respect service people, and are always empathetic BUT ...to get into their personal life is VERY difficult. My mom is nice to everyone but who she calls on the phone is very few, because she trusts only those who are in the same community as she is. I revolted when i was a kid, but now being older i actually appreciate and enjoy her style...very classy
Yes! In my 20"s, I worked in a store selling fine jewelry. Many times the people that looked as if they couldnt afford anything actually were from old money. Never be rude to anyone ! Dont underestimate people.
I worked at a Kay's jewelry store in college in a rough mall. The ostentacious gangbangers wearing grills and designer bags/accessories often had terrible credit and no cash either. Couldn't buy anything. But the discreet folks were the ones who made it rain and bought all kinds of merch without blinking.
Your description of people that looked as if they couldn’t afford are the wealthy Asians. Being lowkey and humble is an important Confucian trait. From manner to dressing up, especially the traditional east asians, they are very lowkey. Way too many stories of Asians vacationing in the US, being discriminated against in high end stores only because they don’t look the part. They go in the store wearing tennis shoes, pants, sweater and a crossover sling bag, and they wouldn’t be help until they just leave the store. What they don’t know is that they go back to their countries in Asia and it’d be all over the news cause ‘so and so comes from one of the wealthiest clans but was shooed away from an Hermes store in New York’.
My husband comes from an Old Money family. Apart from studying in the best schools, he’s also worked on the trash collecting system, lived in the dangerous neighborhoods to save money, as well as other small jobs because his family kept him out of the money privileges from the teenage to the young adult life, so that he could learn about life. Now a days he runs the family business, and he is a very kind person. Sometimes I get pissed off to the fact that people sometimes try to hurt him on the back, taking his kindness for granted, but then I realize that I have a lot to learn from him. For the fact that he’s got this safety net, a lot of these things don’t actually affect him, he can take his time to learn how to be a good manager, without losing his character or getting emotionally affected to what’s going around him. I am an anxious person, as I come from a poor background, sometimes I take too seriously when a situation doesn’t go as I was expecting, or people try to undermine the projects, its just seem I am about to lose everything. This is the difference from the old money people, they tend to be calm, relaxed, even when things go wrong, they seems to always have a solution, someone to call, something that they can pay… because they know that is just a point to be overcome and literally just a few things can really impact their status. And by the way, he is the kindest guy I have ever met. On our first date we had the most amazing conversations, so relaxed and able to listen, not trying to sell himself out. (Actually he kind of lied and told me he worked on marketing, for a small company, he was starting to have the first clients. And I thought he was broke, but a hardworking guy and passionate guy about to have a bright future). He drove me home and said “bye”, with a nice smile, waited until I got inside. He didn’t try to kiss me or something like that. I just felt so comfortable around him that I decided we could be good friends… But then he had extra plans, he would literally go see me in my poor neighborhood everyday, to walk out my dog with me at late night. I mean, I have dated a broke guy who lived close by, he would stay in the car waiting for me to walk the dog so that we could hang out., he wouldn’t even give the dog some attention. My husband used to leave his “palace” and cool neighborhood just to walk out my dog with me and have a couple minutes of chatting every single day. After about 15 days he asked me to be his girlfriend. It seems like a teenage story but we were about 25. The sweetest guy ever. Of course I got very confused after discovering his background, I wouldn’t even have proper clothes to all of his social events. I used to get stressed out about going to restaurants and not being able to share the bills, cause he’s lifestyle was completely over my budget. I didn’t want to feel that I was selling myself out, but I really liked him. So I had to open up and talk about how this had been stressing me out, not him, but our differences, from budget, lifestyle, to family history, plans for the future. Fortunately, we were able to make it work.
I don't believe you. You look like a Plain Jane. Not only that, but why would he pick you when he could pick any woman who doesn't come from a trashy and mediocre background?
In Egypt, the families that come from old money refer to themselves as ‘known families’. And yes, Anna’s description fits the bill. Heritage, longevity, tradition, and the family name is important within this circle.
I really admire old money women who are always simply dressed and although they have plenty of expensive jewelries you never see them wearing them. When i went to school the old money kids nearly never wear brands on the contrary the upper middle class was obsessed with brand clothes and branging about the prices they have paid. Old money people appreciate more your education, specially the classic style , history, poetry, ancient philosophy, than the clothes you wear.
My auntie is a countess. she is stylish, has a 'light' footprint ( eats lightly, travels lightly and is not imposing) but she is a collector experiences and is incredibly eccentric. Confidence is not an issue.
As far as I met old money people while studying in Oxford, I found that nobody there is doing fillers to their lips. They are very polite and intelligent. Does not matter what you are wearing, It is a matter of your degree, knowledge and culture - talking quite, always keep smiling and ready to help.
My Mother's family was old money. My Mother used to say she could tell new money from old money people in second. She also used to say " money can't buy class"
I come from disinherited old money. My grandmother inadvertently married a "commoner" who turned out to already have a wife in Canada and did not tell her! It scandalized my rather Catholic, conservative family who were very old money. My mother grew up mostly with her grandmother who was from very old German industrial money. My mom always seemed strange to me, compared to other people's mothers, who did not obsess over manners, comment on their boyfriend's "poor breeding", or refuse to let me buy branded or polyester clothing (in the 70's revival of the late 90's, no less). She was always forcing us to annunciate and was a stickler about bad grammar. Table manners were a big deal. We couldn't go out to breakfast without her barking at us to sit up straight and keep our elbows off the tables! She seemed to always have wealthy friends, even though we were solidly middle class (and sometimes that was questionable). She did her best to insert us into a wide variety of social circumstances and teach us to interact with whomever, whenever. There were always books about various things (sailing, piloting manuals for planes (she was single-engine licensed), philosophy, gardening, history, cooking... you name it) on our large bookshelf. When we got bored, we would pick from it. She never dressed flashy or untoward-- she was always impossibly classical in her manner of dress. Never overdid the makeup. Never did hair dyes or anything. Very natural. Did not spring immediately for the latest thing (It took ages for her to consider buying us a DVD player). Preferred antiques and classic styles to new furniture. Never drove brand new, flashy cars, even though she probably could have. She drove a classic, older Jaguar. Never wore anything branded as far as I can remember-- save a little polo horse peeking up off of her shirts. But, her grooming, skin, and demeanor were always immaculate. It was rare to find her speaking negatively of other people, and she was always subtle when she didn't like someone. Despite this, she was very decisive and had shrewd tendencies. She was an excellent businesswoman, and all of her children, with the exception of one, are now business owners. Looking back, I see clearly that she passed down this gift of perspective. I've worked with old money elites and new money alike, in my job, and I never felt remotely insecure. I've always felt completely at eye level with everyone, whether they be homeless or live on an estate. Never struggled with what spoon to use, nor lacked the words to say what needed to be said. My dealings with old money have been mixed. There is very much a "Picture of Dorian Gray" side to it all. I think New Money is all out in front, and on display. It leaves nothing to the imagination. And in that respect, I trust them more than I trust old money-- which is incredibly jealous of its social station and material standing-- to the extent that it can cause a hatred for the average-heeled individual that is usually carefully concealed behind their finishing school veneers. I've had to witness it first-hand, and it is tremendously ugly-- moreso than the garish logo slaves of New Money. That being said, I appreciate their value system quite a lot.
Ironic how old money rules of “practicing subtleness” when it comes to dressing somehow seem so humble & discrete. I find that more “inclusive” than the giant logos. Ability to put elegant & very tasteful outfit, simple yet very chic, reflecting your own aesthetic - I prefer that to flashy logos, any day. :)
@@lorettaknoelk3475 And you should! A lot of these old money stereotypes are B.S. Plenty of old money is flashy. A lot of billionaires are absolutely flashy. Be who you are and the rest will follow. On youtube, that chic maven has clothes that are filled with logos and she always looks absolutely classy and carries herself well. I dress very basically, have a shaved head, and just carry and articulate myself well. Your individuality attracts people, not pretending to be someone you're not. Wear your logos and live your life.
As someone who was obsessed with the "old money lifestyle" as a teenager(I'm 31 now) coming from a lower middle class family, I'm guilty of rediscovering this mindset. While I admit that I fell into the fashion again, quick and hard, the first thing I did was opened my etiquette book for what have I forgotten, took out my piano that I haven't touched in years and started taking French lessons that I never got my B level in. As for clothes I went on Vinted and slowly but surely collecting pieces that are natural materials, well-made and will last me for years. I have to say, thank you for humbling your audience and reminding me what the true values are - money or not.
I worked closely with a "new money" family for a while. They were disrespectful to waiting staff, rude to people deemed beneath themselves and unpleasant in general because they believed they were all powerful now they'd gained access to higher living. Thoroughly horrible folk.
Being an old money is suffocating, one misstep you'll be the talk of the whole family. You don't have to classify yourself, just be yourself, be happy, be healthy, and respect others.
Old money is good as long as is not tainted with blood. Unfortunately most of the old money in western Europe is tainted with blood. You should never feel like you are less than next to old money people especially in the uk here. If you make your money in a honest way, always hold your head high.
I always felt different compared to my peers. Wasn’t special but just different. My family and I grew up middle class but stressed the importance of education, as well as manners, etiquette, and being polite. They dressed us differently, always wrote thank you notes, always made guests feel hospitable at our house, etc. they were very picky about who are friends were. Now as I’m older, I appreciate it. I may not have a wealth of money but these stepping stones have give me a great career with potential, great style (classic always win), a reputation for being polite & well-mannered, and with a smaller group of different networks (because not everyone is polite, aware or as mannered- it actually filters out people that are more appropriate for your lifestyle and upbringing vs those who shamed my childhood bc of what my parents worked hard to give my sibling and I). Thank you, Anna for this wonderful video
Kate Middleton is in no way old money or even family money. She is descended from coal miners. Her parents were middle class until their online party favours business took off. She has done a wonderful job of levelling up job, and this enabled her to marry into royalty.
I worked for a wealthy woman who had two children and I never saw her children wear designer anything. Her daughter's clothes came from Target. They definitely had old money and went to private schools. Your description is spot on! Love this video!
Right on time Anna! Haha, I started dating an "old money" man recently. Military background... He told me his family's farm estate belonged to Anne of Cleves as part of her divorce settlement from Henry VIII. He currently rents his apartment in the city and keeps the thermostat mostly off as energy prices are soaring - but served Bollinger with *supper*, and boy oh boy did he have the softest bed sheets I'd ever touched 😂 Quality where it counts! Completely different breed.
A university education is the most consistent thing about the Old Money community. This allows them to really understand their history and culture and be at home with other people. Of course, it also doubles your lifetime earnings. Give yourself this precious lifelong gift before anything else. It can take a lot of hard work and sacrifice for those without any wealth, but there is a lot of financial support available. Without a college degree, one is rarely ever able to get to that level of not having to stress about money that is such a joy-killer. Marriage, children, and improving fashion and lifestyle can wait, get your degree first, it just gets harder as one gets older and has more responsibilities. Also, it’s never to late to start or resume your degree.
Depends on the degree and who you know. Many degrees lean into middle management mindsets. If you can intern at a good place and make good contacts it increases your chances of moving up. Student loan debts is a serious burden to many
I learnt something recently about money, before I didn’t have much very poor and when I made a little I didn’t care about the price of things my mindset was hey I worked hard so I deserve it. Now that we have more or we’re stable I don’t spend as much and I’m very mindful of how I spend it. I can say that now I see the value of things more that the price.
I studied at Oxford as an undergraduate. Fortunately I was at a college with people from diverse backgrounds. The unfortunate truth is that most old money people are arrogant as hell and get far in life due to privilege and confidence not ability, and look down on those who haven't had the same privileges. No matter how much money I have, I would not want my child going to one of these schools or universities.
I’m not from old money but I do have privilege. Never act lesser than, you had/have as much of a right to be there as anyone. Second, it all comes down to upbringing. I grew up with nannies and private school and my siblings went to school with teens who come to school with lambos and Ducatis but because we were raised in a certain way we don’t treat anyone any differently. This has allowed me to act in a nonchalant manner around various dignitaries as part of my job now. Someone’s arrogance only affects me if I allow it. The power is mine. It’s a mindset for both parties. Most people in the upper echelon may feel entitled but if you pay them no mind, you’ll be respected.
I feel old money are extremely strict and hardly leave room for change or new things ( which can be good as far as you know the limit). Anyway I love old money more and there are alot to learn from them.
By the way, the old money person I know allegedly told her best friend that she would not be caught dead wearing labels. So yeah you are right about that one too.
Damn. It feels like I grew up in old money yet it was abject poverty. We never redecorated, clothes lasting for years... No heirlooms or safety nets though. The similarities of super rich and dirt poor are uncanny.
I actually shop at antique shops and second hand stores just because I want furniture that is not made of cardboard and it's not going to fall apart before I even get it home 😱
A close friend of mine is old money and her dad was also a finance CEO making £2,500 an hour consulting fee. They are multi-millionaires and her dad is the biggest penny pincher; when he shops, he calculates food at cost by 100g! However, they buy the best quality of everything when it comes to their home and lifestyle.
I was invited to go to a private club in Philadelphia as a guest. I didn't know what it was going to be, but the atmosphere of old money hit me like a sack of bricks, it was so different from the social circles I'm used to. I was honestly intimidated, not going to lie.
I'm old money but middle class. My ancestors on my fathers side were extremely wealthy for many generations, but now there isn't that much left or what is left is part of a legal battle that never gets solved.
I think we are some sort of cadet branch, example: my paternal grandmother grew up in a wealthy “hacendados” family (she was the niece of the patriarchy, he took her under his arm for protection) and all the money remains with legitimate descendants. But my granny and her sons kept some privileges like access to education, manners, lands and family reputation… just no big amounts of money.
I like that you mentioned “mindset” to refer to old-money. Actually old money is more of a mindset than amount of wealth, or money itself. You know inherited wealth gets divided very fast within 1 or two generations, between the heirs. It can disappears if the business doesn’t go as well in next generations. But what will remain for a few generations after that is the mindset. Of not bragging to the poor, of not being flashy, not being rude, not overspending. The culture, respect to education,etc, all these remain there for a longer time, even only one of the parents were old money by their ancestors.
100% accurate. my family is "old money," but my father squandered his upbringing by choosing a less-than-profitable career. nevertheless, the mentality permeated every aspect of my childhood. even though i grew up in a low-middle-class home, my paternal grandparents financed my private education, along with etiquette classes, ballet, music, and private tutoring. my parents and i only thrifted in rich neighborhoods so we could purchase quality pieces at a discounted price. like you said, the mentality follows even if the money is gone.
I worked with old money as a caregiver and most are very "money conscious" as in won't even tip because it's not tax deductible lol but were pleasant and they are very humble about money as well about their history. Believe it or not, one incredible couple gave me a hopeful tip.. almost everyone went broke during WWII and many were able to rebuild their lost inheritance through hard work and dedication. Money isn't about the little green paper. It's about how you think of it. It's everywhere, so start attracting it. I don't believe in the law of attraction however, I believe in God, the King of all kings, including money. So if I have Him, I have money. This knowledge has never failed me. Use it and don't waste this pearl.
Not all old money are polite, trust me I’m from NYC and have met plenty. Some have been famous families , the elderly and teenagers are usually rude or snobbish . The nicest are between ages 25-40
I used to live in the smallest studio apartment in the poshest part of a large city. I never saw flashy cars around. I’d see older Range Rovers, Volvos, Mercedes station wagons, etc. Luxury, but never flashy.
I completely share the values and way of thinking of “old money” people (which is so rare as I can notice in todays society), I also don’t like trends, I am focused on style and quality, but the only difference is that I dont have money heritage. :)
My fathers family is pretty old money. At home we learned all the etiquette concerning many things. Also that money mindset is in the familie. After about 30 years he finally bought a new sofa set. But then of super quality. But still going on a bike to a shop if it was cheaper at the other side of the city. He always helped other people with technical issues in the street. He did not like the neighbourhood where he lived because he wanted to live in the better neighbourhood were he came from but he knew that you must keep your wife happy. The money was build with having a big laundry factory and several high end building buildings. Even last week my mother (85) told me not to buy what you do not need. Most money is put in shares. And still my mother hardly spends money and is happy when she sav es some. So, do normal and be polite, do not buy useless things, invest and enjoy your live. Once my father asked: do i look poor? Then i answered: hmmm, you could buy some up to date clothes. He was not so interested in it. Only if you saw his watch, you knew he was not poor. My aunt is still there and she is also well educated and sophisticated, very chique and polite. Mostly i like a good chat with a worker more then with the stiffer people. That's all, folks.
Thanks to your videos, I am engaged to a HV man from a wonderful family. The first time they invited me on a family trip to Italy, we immediately put my son in etiquette school. That was a few years ago, and he still proudly implements everything he learned on a daily basis. It really created a strong value within him that he cherishes.
Yes. Thanks for sharing that rich people are usually very polite, and are trained that way. People who are rude, and demanding because they have money is such a turn off. But your videos are always right on point!!!!! I enjoy your videos.
One of my dear family friends is from old money and is a well-respected citizen of my hometown. While he and his family donate massive amounts to the local university and to the prestigious law school where he graduated every year for scholarships (he and his family dress well (but don’t wear flashy clothing) and are highly educated and cultured), he prefers a basic car to a luxury one and likes McDonald’s coffee the best (and takes advantage of the senior discount!). He and his family are definitely among the sweetest people I have ever met and are absolutely down-to-earth. Not an iota of snobbishness!
The mentality "us against them" comes from the desire to stick with people who think and act like them, people who understand them and would be able to make conversation with them on topics which only their circle would know or understand.
Wow, I just realized, I was brought up by Old Money parents, but only without inheritance. Lol. We had before, but dad’s siblings wanted to have their inheritance money so majority decided to sell my grandparents properties. It was the most heartbreaking phase in my life. Now we are back to square one, and trying to live in more peaceful life. My parents once said, Education is the only inheritance they will give us, and our future will depend on us. It is true that Old Money people tend give more values in quality, education, life lessons, and cultural preservations. Not everything is about luxury and money.
This is a great breakdown of this culture! Being from a working class Boston family surrounded by old money, it can be tough to navigate that world. This book helped me so much too! * Author: Byron Tully The Old Money Book: Living Better While Spending Less - Secret's of America's Upper Class*
I am somewhat New Money (retired at 35, have access to funds, travel etc) but practise a lot of Old Money characteristics. Being discreet and not ostentatious is a huge part of it, and I am happy to say that most people don't know exactly how wealthy I am, but that I am simply "comfortable". That discreetness is something I enjoy as I find attracting attention is very stress inducing. I do agree that New Money can be very crass, which is why I found it more intuitive to assimilate into Old Money ways. Maybe I am Neo Money, as I am not the only one who has made their wealth and thinks like this. It is an interesting phenomena, hope others like myself can comment as well. 👍
Well said!! Everything you speak of is so true! I've seen wealthy people spend hours comparison shop just to make sure they are getting the best deal and value for their money. They're not frivolous or show off. When they make a purchase they know they're planning on keeping it for a long time sometimes to a fault that's why their homes may look like a museum. Wealthy people do tend to travel in small circles! Charities are also a huge part of their lives. They make sure they are giving back to society generously! Education is very important and its a main topic in their conversations. They stay versed on many subjects and travel often giving them opportunities to be exposed to the ways of the world. Wealthy people understand their place in the world and their responsibility to give back. Of course there are exceptions to the rules but generally it doesn't stray far from basic ideas to how they live their lives. It can be intimidating to be in their presence because they are definitely judging you!
I love that old money are discreet people that will not make a scene in public or create embarassing situations. The fact that they are also respectful of others makes a difference. They set the example of appropriate behavior most of the time.
Hi Anna, I have never commented any of your video but when I saw the title I felt curiosity.... I come from what you call an "old money" aristocratic spanish family and I can confirm almost everything you said. In my childhood I was teached to always think, do, go... what "WE" do. As you said, sense of community and feeling of "us versus them" are very deeply rooted, old money grow and live segregated in a world where they don't actually see other kinds of realities. But now Anna, I am an adult and I can tell you that old money sense of community has also a dark side... you must be strictly compliant with the community standards otherwise you will be looked down and in some cases excluded.... you must be composed, calm and never show your feelings even if inside you want to cry or scream... you must..., you must... I could continue for hours. Also, old money are always polite and kind to "normal" people but attention: most of them will never enter in an intimate love or friendship relationship with a normal person. Because in their mentality, sadly, is "us versus them".
I remember my dad taking me on an economy class train ride just before I started undergrad, just to make me realize what I have and how much I should appreciate it. And yes my friend’s dad was ousted from the community because he spoke up against things and didn’t continue with their family business, which was actually an empire. It’s all gone because her dad became a scientist and so did she. I think we are all doing great. The values and principles are what we carry forward. Money can always be rebuilt even if you are cut off from family money.
Absolutely agree. Used to live in a village were the landlord owned 99% of the houses which had been handed down from generations. He lived in the manor house( Lord of the manor/ mansion) Used to walk round in clothes he had for years not designer. Usual head scarfs, flat caps wax cotton coats Drove around in old Land rovers etc. Would help anyone no matter if they were poor or rich. Big village manor house party for Xmas, father Xmas Used to come on a sleigh pulled by his wife's most prized driving pony. Every child had a present. Then you get new money who like to show how rich they are designer clothes, watches, cars. Old money never openly talk about money. Where as new will.
Me my self educated middle class, I always avoid to be in contact with the new money. People I met craves attention and ask rude personal questions + talking about their accomplishments like no one else
Actually a lot of new money people look down on old money people without knowing that they are rich just because old money people usually don't show off. New money people often come to very wrong conclusions because they don't conceive the idea that a rich person would dress in a simple manner or would lead a relatively frugal life (average cars, average clothes, using public transport etc...). Maybe the only unambiguous sign of wealth you see in old money people is their house, but obviously it's not something you see immediately when you meet someone.
Things that tell that you’re old money: actually coming from a wealthy family that has passed down that wealth for at least a couple of generations. Old Money isn’t a stereotype rooted in your attire or comportment, it’s a socioeconomic reality irrespective of how you dress or act.
I find many old money people don’t bother about home decor or have no aesthetic taste in it. On the other hand, people who are not well off have taste and borrow money to design their dream home 😅
Thank you for this. I've grown weary of telling folks who comment on tik tok old money aesthetic videos that most of the time, OM do not spend lavishly. I've even had someone claim that frugality is not a sign of old money...
This has really made me laugh, I’m 5th generation “old money” we’re actually a little mean with money because it’s been instilled into us from such a young age, don’t be surprised to find “old money” ppl wearing vintage & second hand clothes… we were doing that before it was on trend 🤭 we’re slightly eccentric, and yes really aren’t bothered about ppl looking down on us, we actually find it extremely funny… you’ve honestly got this so factual!
i was thinking the same! my husband and I were dna'd old money methods growing up by old money people and have gotten that question a couple of times..., "are you old money? how much money do you actually have that you can do this?" whatever _this_ is. we're passing the methods on to our nieces and nephews.
My husband’s family is old money from France. Im American “no money”. My dad was a NYC police officer. My mother, however, was obsessed with the old money ilk. And so she instilled in us (5) the power of stellar manners And dressing very well (classic) on a dime. I receive many compliments on my office attire and am very cautious to stick to classic clothing. As an aside,, im older (66) and get very upset when I see women my age dress matronly. There is no need to give up on your looks as you age. There is no need to dress in “old lady” baggy capris and boxy shirts. You can keep it simple and elegant. That being said, my husband’s family has been great to me. In fact, my husband says that at times, I am more French than American. ( i.e. when we are in his country and my good manners and respectfulness is displaying) you would be shocked at the loud and obnoxious behavior of SOME Americans. Its not a pretty sight.
@@Atypical60 haha...'no money'... That's so funny because it's so relatable. But being classy on a dime is great. That's what my mom taught too. And good manners... As for our mom, it's us daughters who encouraged her to dress better especially as she ages.
I work as a ballet dancer now, and a lot of your old money tips and manners remind me of how yourr supposed to dress and act in ballet 😊 Most dancers are not old money or rich 💀💀✋😭 but ballet has its roots in the upper classes. Its interesting how old money people preserve these ideas and traditions for so long 😮 it can be very nice 👌
I read the personal diaries of the murdered Romanov royal family. Royals in Europe build theatres and sponsor ballet shows since attending ballet and opera is an old favorite past time.
I once had a relationship with a person who went to boarding school at Ardingly. He said no one was interested in wearing designer trainers. This is very different to state school children that often want and feel the need to feel accepted by each other through wearing certain brands.
“Old money” (horrendous label, aristocratic is much better) families take very good care of their homes, cars, clothes, furniture and jewelry. When you spend more money on items of good quality and want them to last at least for your own lifetime and sometimes to pass down, you take very good care of them.
All your points are true! All my “old money” friends drive normal cars, shop rarely and fly economy. They spend money more on experiences instead of big logos and a so called luxury “lifestyle”.
In the US, it generally takes three generations to “clean” your money. If your great grandparents were the source of the original wealth, then it’s not considered “new” exactly. It’s really only considered “old” however, if your family’s wealth was pre-war meaning the US Civil War. I grew up around both and the major difference was consistent with your comments. Old money never spent any, new money did. Old money merely exchanged cash for assets that could be reconverted to cash if necessary like art, homes, and land.
Thank you for sharing this. Everything you are saying is completely true. I’m from “old money” on my mother’s side (my dad’s family was “new money”), and my family was economical but shopped for quality and spent on education.
Wanted to add - my dad didn’t buy into the “new money mindset” because his parents were refugees who escaped Nazi Germany, and since they lost nearly everything in order to escape, they were very conservative with spending.
By adopting old money habits and growing your wealth (and passing those lessons down to your kids if u have any), you can start generational wealth that can turn into old money eventually! Be the change you want to see, including within your family :) (You won't necessarily see the change as it is generational change BUT you can kickstart the good habits lol)
I come from an old money family but I had a spending limit, I used to be very angry because i wanted things they wouldnt buy me, and when i went to college my mom told me that I have a savings account for the past 18 years, use it "wisely" she said. I invested in them throughout college, now im 33 years old and im doing the same with my kids. When i see people trying to chase the media influencers by buying everything branded and expensive.. it just makes me feel sad and pitty cause im pretty sure they still feel lacking, they still want to impress more and buy more and its just never ending, learn to be content with what you have.
I know you are not talking about new money but i have noticed there is always a need for extravagance in everything , e.g shopping literally everday , ordering bunch of food , going to top places like it's a competition to be seen . The list goes on
I know very wealthy people who NEVER fly business or drive flashy cars. They became wealthy by being smart with money and not wasteful. They also work a LOT, while they could have retired years ago, they continue to work, invest, and grow their wealth.
Family portraits donned the walls at my grandparents home. My grandmother graduated from a private music college in the early 1900’s, before 1910. She could play piano so well. I remember sitting next to her on the bench as she played “The Charge of the Light Brigade” & “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes” circa 1933. At Christmas, when daddy was a boy, Gramp would take the family to a part of town in need & give gifts & food to every family. Each child in the family would have to select someone in need & give that child their very best toy before getting anything for themselves at Christmas; a life lesson in giving before getting.
I love timeless clothing (even though my dad keeps telling me to get xyz because it’s in fashion- I don’t listen most of the time), I love to read, I love history, I love certain antiques/antique furniture, I love certain art (and took art as a GCSE), I love music (especially classical music) & the theatre ( I went to stage school & took drama as a GCSE). I think I’d get along well with old money people. My parents brought my up to appreciate things like time team, the antiques roadshow, documentaries, the repair shop and other similar shows. My mum taught me about proper grammar & conversation. I try to be my best on the little money I have.
I’m not old money, but I am really starting to see the poor mindset in people. They say they have no money, but order drinks, eat out a lot, complain about lots of things, me me me mentality. I’ve decided to live low key like the well off people I know. Things are good and I can help teach others who are willing to change. It’s amazing how many life coaches have messed up lives. Thanks for your videos, I’ve learned a lot from you.
My dear Anna I can't wait to hear your advice. For some reason it feels like eternity since last Sunday that you uploaded a video! Looking forward to it 💖
I love the look of old money furniture. Tuft leather couches, the deep dark wood, it's all gorgeous. I also love the way they dress. I guess that's why when I took your quiz I came up as classic elegant. 😊
The mind set should be if you will have something for a long time (durable vs non-durable), then buy the best quality you can afford. That’s not being cheap, that’s smart and you don’t need old money to do this. Eat better and you will be able to think and remember more savvy daily.
i never understood how one could be proud to be "old money" ... its not like you did something to get it, you just inherited the money wooow Its a LOT more impressive when you build your own Business, build your own wealth but cool and interesting Video ! Like
Thank you for watching! Share with me, What is it about the old money that you like the most? Or dislike the most?
It's legacy. It's tenure. It's debt free.
I love the historical furniture and the thought of things being passed down for generations.
It's Warren Buffett masquerading as the Queen
I admire the Tenacity thru Loss
I love the old money dressing because it always stands out in a very unique way
I have this mindset, (*I Was debt free by 35) Leaving a legacy to my children. Old money starts with me. Have to start somewhere.
Hear hear!
ok miss girl, do what you gotta do ! 🙏🏾🙏🏾
Exactly
learn your kids to marry equally rich then, because this is what old money does ... and in fact it is self-regulating across the entire population in fact that people tend to marry in the same wealth group
@@MegaTinni trueee, to maintain the family's wealth and its growth, they choose to marry into fellow old money individuals as well
All what i want IS having money, old or New doesn't matter 😂
$1 = .13 ¢ last month.
@@kimgordon3695 what do u mean
Saame 😂😂😂
This kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
😂😂😂
When I studied at the University of Cambridge I became quite close friends with the nephew of a Countess and I can confirm so many of these points! He was one of the most polite guys I've ever met, but also one of the most confident due to his family history. From his clothes I would have never guessed he was of noble descendent: for instance, when playing tennis he wouldn't dress in anything fancy, but told me later on he had a tennis court at home where he played with his dad!!
Wow!
That impressive! Yes, ancestry is very important to traditional families and they take pride in it.
Why didn't you marry Him? Or at least stay in friendship ,sounds like a very Kind person and good Soul 😁
Ooh which college? I was at Catz
@@Kiara_Wrestler I was at Lucy but he was at Jesus
I used to tutor/babysit a 15-year-old girl from an old money family before sending her off to a British boarding school. I spent a week with her in the best hotel, showed her around the city, trained her English communication skills etc. Everything she used looked luxurious, but like Anna always says, no logo (well, until she opened her washbag and there was obviously something from Chanel). She never showed me that "I've paid you, peasant" attitude like most my other clients do. She told me to order any room service, showed appreciation for my help and called me "big sister" (I was melted). The only thing she requested during the week was Shin Ramyun (spicy instant noodles). I refused to spend her money and had a week of Shin Ramyun with her.
Prior to meeting her, I had met her older sister, who apparently had several Hermes bags which she took to the meeting room, put on the floor and casually shoved under the desk. That's a strong contrast with those who threw their bags and coats in your face. These sisters are eye-opening, in a very good way. They are friendly, kind, and humble; even if they hired you to do things for them, they would treat you with respect. At times I heard my colleagues joked about how the sisters owned so many Hermes bags at a young age, that they were spoiled etc. I told them about the Shin Ramyun and educated my colleagues not to be so judgemental. Seriously, they're not spoiled or big spenders, that's the price range they are comfortable with but it's unfortunately not the same as your range.
P.S. One funny story. One time when my boss was travelling to China, the parents of these sisters were also on a business trip there and they invited my boss for dinner. My boss wore his best suit and had his hair done and such, but eventually, the clients took him to the street food market and wondered why my boss was so over-dressed🤣
My fiancé came from an old money family. Can you believe that he worked at fast food and coffee shops when he was younger just to learn to be an independent person? He’s so down to earth that you will never think that they are that rich.
He’s a CEO in their family business now and he treats his employees with so much respect. He’s a wonderful man ☺️
So lucky ^^ Where did you meet? Wish I could find such a man myself
Two of my ex boyfriends were from the same background, except they were so different 😆 The first was like the guy you mentioned, really polite, hard worker, etc, and like my family, had to work for money, not through necessity but for character building. The second just enjoyed spending his parents' money and messing around on his estate, throwing huge house parties, etc. 😒
There’s needs to be more CEOs like him!
I can believe it…. My father refused to buy me a car like all my friends (who were getting Mercedes and hummers, no accounting for teenage taste haha) until I worked at an ice cream shop and then waiting tables. He taught us the value of a dollar early and the importance I’d hanging on to it. I was complaining about something trivial once and he pointed out the Porsche our neighbor had, then proceeded to explain to me exactly how much debt they were in… That was an important early lesson in appearances not always being what they seem.
Aw. What a sweet story. So do you still get free fries at McDonald's? Do tell. 🍟
One of my Mother's biggest complaints was that we were too poor for me to go to Finishing School. Later, I got a job working for a prominent "old money", as you say it, family and her first comment was "Now you will learn some manners!" Haha. My employers treated me very nicely and I learned a great deal about how things are done. Good manners, a knowledge of etiquette, being cultured and having a good education will take a person quite far in life. Some of these things build character so that even if a lady doesn't have the opportunity to move in the first circles, she will always stand out as a fine person. What I like about "old money" is that such people are often very pleasant and easy. They are often quite discreet about things and have a sense of service and obligation towards others. They are comfortable about themselves and do not feel the need to boast about their possessions or lives. What I dislike is that such circles can be rather closed to people who are not the same as they are. I think the best thing is to take such people at face value, not to try to be like them but to emulate the good points that are accessible.
This is so very true! Especially the very pleasant and easy.
Life lesson gifts 💖
You mentioned pros and cons that were nail on the head! I had the opportunity to go to finishing school just for a short time and what I gathered was this: good manners are expressions of respect to those around us. It says, “I care enough to spend time to learn how to act around you because I care what you think of me.” And you, my friend, already exude that manner in your empathy for inclusion in a group that can be somewhat cliquey. You obviously already had “good manners”, just by thinking of others the way you do
Nicely put! ❤️
Great advice. Thank you!
My parents came from "old money", growing up i only wore tailored clothing, and my mom actually had stores closed down so she can shop. That being said, everything anna said is SPOT ON...the richer you are, the more low key you are ...you will never see millionaires act like they are so filthy rich....everything is subtle but absolutely polished and "clean". They always respect service people, and are always empathetic BUT ...to get into their personal life is VERY difficult. My mom is nice to everyone but who she calls on the phone is very few, because she trusts only those who are in the same community as she is. I revolted when i was a kid, but now being older i actually appreciate and enjoy her style...very classy
mah
lmao who's gonna believe it
I’ve always wondered how wealthy people get/ask stores to close for them? Interesting 🤔
Wow
@@iamthedeath lol riiiiight. old money would not be watching these videos
Yes! In my 20"s, I worked in a store selling fine jewelry. Many times the people that looked as if they couldnt afford anything actually were from old money. Never be rude to anyone ! Dont underestimate people.
I worked at a Kay's jewelry store in college in a rough mall. The ostentacious gangbangers wearing grills and designer bags/accessories often had terrible credit and no cash either. Couldn't buy anything. But the discreet folks were the ones who made it rain and bought all kinds of merch without blinking.
Your description of people that looked as if they couldn’t afford are the wealthy Asians. Being lowkey and humble is an important Confucian trait. From manner to dressing up, especially the traditional east asians, they are very lowkey. Way too many stories of Asians vacationing in the US, being discriminated against in high end stores only because they don’t look the part. They go in the store wearing tennis shoes, pants, sweater and a crossover sling bag, and they wouldn’t be help until they just leave the store. What they don’t know is that they go back to their countries in Asia and it’d be all over the news cause ‘so and so comes from one of the wealthiest clans but was shooed away from an Hermes store in New York’.
My husband comes from an Old Money family. Apart from studying in the best schools, he’s also worked on the trash collecting system, lived in the dangerous neighborhoods to save money, as well as other small jobs because his family kept him out of the money privileges from the teenage to the young adult life, so that he could learn about life.
Now a days he runs the family business, and he is a very kind person. Sometimes I get pissed off to the fact that people sometimes try to hurt him on the back, taking his kindness for granted, but then I realize that I have a lot to learn from him.
For the fact that he’s got this safety net, a lot of these things don’t actually affect him, he can take his time to learn how to be a good manager, without losing his character or getting emotionally affected to what’s going around him.
I am an anxious person, as I come from a poor background, sometimes I take too seriously when a situation doesn’t go as I was expecting, or people try to undermine the projects, its just seem I am about to lose everything.
This is the difference from the old money people, they tend to be calm, relaxed, even when things go wrong, they seems to always have a solution, someone to call, something that they can pay… because they know that is just a point to be overcome and literally just a few things can really impact their status.
And by the way, he is the kindest guy I have ever met. On our first date we had the most amazing conversations, so relaxed and able to listen, not trying to sell himself out. (Actually he kind of lied and told me he worked on marketing, for a small company, he was starting to have the first clients. And I thought he was broke, but a hardworking guy and passionate guy about to have a bright future). He drove me home and said “bye”, with a nice smile, waited until I got inside. He didn’t try to kiss me or something like that. I just felt so comfortable around him that I decided we could be good friends…
But then he had extra plans, he would literally go see me in my poor neighborhood everyday, to walk out my dog with me at late night.
I mean, I have dated a broke guy who lived close by, he would stay in the car waiting for me to walk the dog so that we could hang out., he wouldn’t even give the dog some attention. My husband used to leave his “palace” and cool neighborhood just to walk out my dog with me and have a couple minutes of chatting every single day.
After about 15 days he asked me to be his girlfriend. It seems like a teenage story but we were about 25. The sweetest guy ever.
Of course I got very confused after discovering his background, I wouldn’t even have proper clothes to all of his social events. I used to get stressed out about going to restaurants and not being able to share the bills, cause he’s lifestyle was completely over my budget. I didn’t want to feel that I was selling myself out, but I really liked him. So I had to open up and talk about how this had been stressing me out, not him, but our differences, from budget, lifestyle, to family history, plans for the future. Fortunately, we were able to make it work.
Beautiful story, you were very luky because he seems to be a very good and decent person.
So lovely ❤️ thanks for sharing
I don't believe you. You look like a Plain Jane. Not only that, but why would he pick you when he could pick any woman who doesn't come from a trashy and mediocre background?
Thanks for sharing this. This give me so much about choosing a right man
Lovely! Thanks for sharing
Wish you happy life ❤
People who have new money worked very very hard to get their money. It was not handed to them. My hat's off to hard work & perseverance.
You are right.
Plus proper education and intelligence, beyond that B-degree.
either that or their dad was new money and gave them a leg up
In Egypt, the families that come from old money refer to themselves as ‘known families’. And yes, Anna’s description fits the bill. Heritage, longevity, tradition, and the family name is important within this circle.
Yes, I have heard this one "he/she comes from a well known family" or something like that.
I really admire old money women who are always simply dressed and although they have plenty of expensive jewelries you never see them wearing them. When i went to school the old money kids nearly never wear brands on the contrary the upper middle class was obsessed with brand clothes and branging about the prices they have paid. Old money people appreciate more your education, specially the classic style , history, poetry, ancient philosophy, than the clothes you wear.
My auntie is a countess. she is stylish, has a 'light' footprint ( eats lightly, travels lightly and is not imposing) but she is a collector experiences and is incredibly eccentric. Confidence is not an issue.
As far as I met old money people while studying in Oxford, I found that nobody there is doing fillers to their lips. They are very polite and intelligent. Does not matter what you are wearing, It is a matter of your degree, knowledge and culture - talking quite, always keep smiling and ready to help.
I grew up in a Soviet orphanage yet I’m watching this and internalizing everything.
Does Anna have a lesson on dressing casual but still looking Elegant?? Cos I feel most people need it.
COS agree! I wear COS blouses in my first three videos.
Dress for your goal; daily; @ dawn
I believe that Clever & Chic has just the right video
She does have a video on casual elegance and lounge wear 🙂
I'm not hating but I don't think fashion is Anna's main strength. I think she's better on topics like etiquette etc.
My Mother's family was old money. My Mother used to say she could tell new money from old money people in second. She also used to say " money can't buy class"
I come from disinherited old money. My grandmother inadvertently married a "commoner" who turned out to already have a wife in Canada and did not tell her! It scandalized my rather Catholic, conservative family who were very old money. My mother grew up mostly with her grandmother who was from very old German industrial money. My mom always seemed strange to me, compared to other people's mothers, who did not obsess over manners, comment on their boyfriend's "poor breeding", or refuse to let me buy branded or polyester clothing (in the 70's revival of the late 90's, no less). She was always forcing us to annunciate and was a stickler about bad grammar. Table manners were a big deal. We couldn't go out to breakfast without her barking at us to sit up straight and keep our elbows off the tables! She seemed to always have wealthy friends, even though we were solidly middle class (and sometimes that was questionable). She did her best to insert us into a wide variety of social circumstances and teach us to interact with whomever, whenever. There were always books about various things (sailing, piloting manuals for planes (she was single-engine licensed), philosophy, gardening, history, cooking... you name it) on our large bookshelf. When we got bored, we would pick from it.
She never dressed flashy or untoward-- she was always impossibly classical in her manner of dress. Never overdid the makeup. Never did hair dyes or anything. Very natural. Did not spring immediately for the latest thing (It took ages for her to consider buying us a DVD player). Preferred antiques and classic styles to new furniture. Never drove brand new, flashy cars, even though she probably could have. She drove a classic, older Jaguar. Never wore anything branded as far as I can remember-- save a little polo horse peeking up off of her shirts. But, her grooming, skin, and demeanor were always immaculate. It was rare to find her speaking negatively of other people, and she was always subtle when she didn't like someone. Despite this, she was very decisive and had shrewd tendencies. She was an excellent businesswoman, and all of her children, with the exception of one, are now business owners.
Looking back, I see clearly that she passed down this gift of perspective. I've worked with old money elites and new money alike, in my job, and I never felt remotely insecure. I've always felt completely at eye level with everyone, whether they be homeless or live on an estate. Never struggled with what spoon to use, nor lacked the words to say what needed to be said.
My dealings with old money have been mixed. There is very much a "Picture of Dorian Gray" side to it all. I think New Money is all out in front, and on display. It leaves nothing to the imagination. And in that respect, I trust them more than I trust old money-- which is incredibly jealous of its social station and material standing-- to the extent that it can cause a hatred for the average-heeled individual that is usually carefully concealed behind their finishing school veneers. I've had to witness it first-hand, and it is tremendously ugly-- moreso than the garish logo slaves of New Money. That being said, I appreciate their value system quite a lot.
Ironic how old money rules of “practicing subtleness” when it comes to dressing somehow seem so humble & discrete. I find that more “inclusive” than the giant logos. Ability to put elegant & very tasteful outfit, simple yet very chic, reflecting your own aesthetic - I prefer that to flashy logos, any day. :)
Me too!
Yesss people try to dress old money that love logos sometimes, and it just doesn’t work
Agreed!
I'm gonna be honest.....I'm American and I LOVE flashy logos and colors lol. You should see my hair right now! ✅ I love to be me
@@lorettaknoelk3475 And you should! A lot of these old money stereotypes are B.S. Plenty of old money is flashy. A lot of billionaires are absolutely flashy. Be who you are and the rest will follow. On youtube, that chic maven has clothes that are filled with logos and she always looks absolutely classy and carries herself well. I dress very basically, have a shaved head, and just carry and articulate myself well. Your individuality attracts people, not pretending to be someone you're not. Wear your logos and live your life.
As someone who was obsessed with the "old money lifestyle" as a teenager(I'm 31 now) coming from a lower middle class family, I'm guilty of rediscovering this mindset. While I admit that I fell into the fashion again, quick and hard, the first thing I did was opened my etiquette book for what have I forgotten, took out my piano that I haven't touched in years and started taking French lessons that I never got my B level in. As for clothes I went on Vinted and slowly but surely collecting pieces that are natural materials, well-made and will last me for years. I have to say, thank you for humbling your audience and reminding me what the true values are - money or not.
I worked closely with a "new money" family for a while. They were disrespectful to waiting staff, rude to people deemed beneath themselves and unpleasant in general because they believed they were all powerful now they'd gained access to higher living. Thoroughly horrible folk.
Being an old money is suffocating, one misstep you'll be the talk of the whole family. You don't have to classify yourself, just be yourself, be happy, be healthy, and respect others.
So true, why label oneself
Old money is good as long as is not tainted with blood. Unfortunately most of the old money in western Europe is tainted with blood. You should never feel like you are less than next to old money people especially in the uk here. If you make your money in a honest way, always hold your head high.
Agreed
I always felt different compared to my peers. Wasn’t special but just different. My family and I grew up middle class but stressed the importance of education, as well as manners, etiquette, and being polite. They dressed us differently, always wrote thank you notes, always made guests feel hospitable at our house, etc. they were very picky about who are friends were. Now as I’m older, I appreciate it. I may not have a wealth of money but these stepping stones have give me a great career with potential, great style (classic always win), a reputation for being polite & well-mannered, and with a smaller group of different networks (because not everyone is polite, aware or as mannered- it actually filters out people that are more appropriate for your lifestyle and upbringing vs those who shamed my childhood bc of what my parents worked hard to give my sibling and I). Thank you, Anna for this wonderful video
Bless your parents for raising such a daughter as you!
Kate Middleton is in no way old money or even family money. She is descended from coal miners. Her parents were middle class until their online party favours business took off. She has done a wonderful job of levelling up job, and this enabled her to marry into royalty.
I worked for a wealthy woman who had two children and I never saw her children wear designer anything. Her daughter's clothes came from Target. They definitely had old money and went to private schools.
Your description is spot on! Love this video!
Right on time Anna! Haha, I started dating an "old money" man recently. Military background... He told me his family's farm estate belonged to Anne of Cleves as part of her divorce settlement from Henry VIII. He currently rents his apartment in the city and keeps the thermostat mostly off as energy prices are soaring - but served Bollinger with *supper*, and boy oh boy did he have the softest bed sheets I'd ever touched 😂 Quality where it counts! Completely different breed.
Had an heiress to a famous company volunteer in my program. Very low profile, hard worker, dressed worse than me, and couldn’t have been nicer!
A university education is the most consistent thing about the Old Money community. This allows them to really understand their history and culture and be at home with other people. Of course, it also doubles your lifetime earnings. Give yourself this precious lifelong gift before anything else. It can take a lot of hard work and sacrifice for those without any wealth, but there is a lot of financial support available. Without a college degree, one is rarely ever able to get to that level of not having to stress about money that is such a joy-killer. Marriage, children, and improving fashion and lifestyle can wait, get your degree first, it just gets harder as one gets older and has more responsibilities. Also, it’s never to late to start or resume your degree.
Depends on the degree and who you know. Many degrees lean into middle management mindsets. If you can intern at a good place and make good contacts it increases your chances of moving up. Student loan debts is a serious burden to many
It’s more about useful skills and degrees than useless degrees, my dad always put emphasis on STEM subjects or learning a Trade.
I learnt something recently about money, before I didn’t have much very poor and when I made a little I didn’t care about the price of things my mindset was hey I worked hard so I deserve it. Now that we have more or we’re stable I don’t spend as much and I’m very mindful of how I spend it. I can say that now I see the value of things more that the price.
I studied at Oxford as an undergraduate. Fortunately I was at a college with people from diverse backgrounds. The unfortunate truth is that most old money people are arrogant as hell and get far in life due to privilege and confidence not ability, and look down on those who haven't had the same privileges. No matter how much money I have, I would not want my child going to one of these schools or universities.
I’m not from old money but I do have privilege. Never act lesser than, you had/have as much of a right to be there as anyone. Second, it all comes down to upbringing. I grew up with nannies and private school and my siblings went to school with teens who come to school with lambos and Ducatis but because we were raised in a certain way we don’t treat anyone any differently. This has allowed me to act in a nonchalant manner around various dignitaries as part of my job now.
Someone’s arrogance only affects me if I allow it. The power is mine. It’s a mindset for both parties. Most people in the upper echelon may feel entitled but if you pay them no mind, you’ll be respected.
No one cares lol
I feel old money are extremely strict and hardly leave room for change or new things ( which can be good as far as you know the limit). Anyway I love old money more and there are alot to learn from them.
By the way, the old money person I know allegedly told her best friend that she would not be caught dead wearing labels. So yeah you are right about that one too.
Damn. It feels like I grew up in old money yet it was abject poverty. We never redecorated, clothes lasting for years... No heirlooms or safety nets though. The similarities of super rich and dirt poor are uncanny.
Everything you say is so correct. People with new money are sometimes unkind with no gracefulness.
I’m of an old money mindset from birth. My parents have always sought to pass on something as a family heirloom.
I actually shop at antique shops and second hand stores just because I want furniture that is not made of cardboard and it's not going to fall apart before I even get it home 😱
A close friend of mine is old money and her dad was also a finance CEO making £2,500 an hour consulting fee. They are multi-millionaires and her dad is the biggest penny pincher; when he shops, he calculates food at cost by 100g! However, they buy the best quality of everything when it comes to their home and lifestyle.
That is so ridiculous to count food prices if you had a lot of money.
I was invited to go to a private club in Philadelphia as a guest. I didn't know what it was going to be, but the atmosphere of old money hit me like a sack of bricks, it was so different from the social circles I'm used to. I was honestly intimidated, not going to lie.
I'm old money but middle class. My ancestors on my fathers side were extremely wealthy for many generations, but now there isn't that much left or what is left is part of a legal battle that never gets solved.
Same here, my ancestors were loaded but yeah lol doesn't matter now
Same. We are all over the place living regular lives. Even though we don't have the millions our parents had, we still have the mindset.
Same
I think we are some sort of cadet branch, example: my paternal grandmother grew up in a wealthy “hacendados” family (she was the niece of the patriarchy, he took her under his arm for protection) and all the money remains with legitimate descendants. But my granny and her sons kept some privileges like access to education, manners, lands and family reputation… just no big amounts of money.
I like that you mentioned “mindset” to refer to old-money. Actually old money is more of a mindset than amount of wealth, or money itself. You know inherited wealth gets divided very fast within 1 or two generations, between the heirs. It can disappears if the business doesn’t go as well in next generations. But what will remain for a few generations after that is the mindset. Of not bragging to the poor, of not being flashy, not being rude, not overspending. The culture, respect to education,etc, all these remain there for a longer time, even only one of the parents were old money by their ancestors.
Yes! And please talk about how lovely Julia Garner is in the role! She is such a classy lady.
You hit the nail on the head! Old money is all about the mindset.
So true!
100% accurate. my family is "old money," but my father squandered his upbringing by choosing a less-than-profitable career. nevertheless, the mentality permeated every aspect of my childhood. even though i grew up in a low-middle-class home, my paternal grandparents financed my private education, along with etiquette classes, ballet, music, and private tutoring. my parents and i only thrifted in rich neighborhoods so we could purchase quality pieces at a discounted price. like you said, the mentality follows even if the money is gone.
Exactly!
I worked with old money as a caregiver and most are very "money conscious" as in won't even tip because it's not tax deductible lol but were pleasant and they are very humble about money as well about their history. Believe it or not, one incredible couple gave me a hopeful tip.. almost everyone went broke during WWII and many were able to rebuild their lost inheritance through hard work and dedication. Money isn't about the little green paper. It's about how you think of it. It's everywhere, so start attracting it. I don't believe in the law of attraction however, I believe in God, the King of all kings, including money. So if I have Him, I have money. This knowledge has never failed me. Use it and don't waste this pearl.
Amen, and TFS!
I feel like old money mindset is the mindset to have if you want to save and have a more safe/comfortable future
Not all old money are polite, trust me I’m from NYC and have met plenty. Some have been famous families , the elderly and teenagers are usually rude or snobbish . The nicest are between ages 25-40
I used to live in the smallest studio apartment in the poshest part of a large city. I never saw flashy cars around. I’d see older Range Rovers, Volvos, Mercedes station wagons, etc. Luxury, but never flashy.
I completely share the values and way of thinking of “old money” people (which is so rare as I can notice in todays society), I also don’t like trends, I am focused on style and quality, but the only difference is that I dont have money heritage. :)
My fathers family is pretty old money. At home we learned all the etiquette concerning many things. Also that money mindset is in the familie. After about 30 years he finally bought a new sofa set. But then of super quality. But still going on a bike to a shop if it was cheaper at the other side of the city. He always helped other people with technical issues in the street. He did not like the neighbourhood where he lived because he wanted to live in the better neighbourhood were he came from but he knew that you must keep your wife happy. The money was build with having a big laundry factory and several high end building buildings. Even last week my mother (85) told me not to buy what you do not need. Most money is put in shares. And still my mother hardly spends money and is happy when she sav es some. So, do normal and be polite, do not buy useless things, invest and enjoy your live. Once my father asked: do i look poor? Then i answered: hmmm, you could buy some up to date clothes. He was not so interested in it. Only if you saw his watch, you knew he was not poor. My aunt is still there and she is also well educated and sophisticated, very chique and polite. Mostly i like a good chat with a worker more then with the stiffer people. That's all, folks.
I am not old money, not even money, but I do have this type of mentality and I share lot of characteristic with them, especially in education area.
Thanks to your videos, I am engaged to a HV man from a wonderful family. The first time they invited me on a family trip to Italy, we immediately put my son in etiquette school. That was a few years ago, and he still proudly implements everything he learned on a daily basis. It really created a strong value within him that he cherishes.
That’s so wonderful!
Yes. Thanks for sharing that rich people are usually very polite, and are trained that way. People who are rude, and demanding because they have money is such a turn off. But your videos are always right on point!!!!! I enjoy your videos.
One of my dear family friends is from old money and is a well-respected citizen of my hometown. While he and his family donate massive amounts to the local university and to the prestigious law school where he graduated every year for scholarships (he and his family dress well (but don’t wear flashy clothing) and are highly educated and cultured), he prefers a basic car to a luxury one and likes McDonald’s coffee the best (and takes advantage of the senior discount!). He and his family are definitely among the sweetest people I have ever met and are absolutely down-to-earth. Not an iota of snobbishness!
Generally the rich are like this
The mentality "us against them" comes from the desire to stick with people who think and act like them, people who understand them and would be able to make conversation with them on topics which only their circle would know or understand.
Wow, I just realized, I was brought up by Old Money parents, but only without inheritance. Lol. We had before, but dad’s siblings wanted to have their inheritance money so majority decided to sell my grandparents properties. It was the most heartbreaking phase in my life. Now we are back to square one, and trying to live in more peaceful life.
My parents once said, Education is the only inheritance they will give us, and our future will depend on us. It is true that Old Money people tend give more values in quality, education, life lessons, and cultural preservations. Not everything is about luxury and money.
Spot on Anna. You will hear those with old money say this often "It's all about price to value ratio."
This is a great breakdown of this culture! Being from a working class Boston family surrounded by old money, it can be tough to navigate that world. This book helped me so much too!
* Author: Byron Tully
The Old Money Book: Living Better While Spending Less - Secret's of America's Upper Class*
I just looked this up and he has one for women in particular too called Old Money New Woman
Love his Old Money book 🌸🙏🏽🎀
I love this community! I just got this look on audible and I'm loving it
Also from the Boston area! Small world :)
Thank you for book recommendation.
I am somewhat New Money (retired at 35, have access to funds, travel etc) but practise a lot of Old Money characteristics. Being discreet and not ostentatious is a huge part of it, and I am happy to say that most people don't know exactly how wealthy I am, but that I am simply "comfortable". That discreetness is something I enjoy as I find attracting attention is very stress inducing. I do agree that New Money can be very crass, which is why I found it more intuitive to assimilate into Old Money ways. Maybe I am Neo Money, as I am not the only one who has made their wealth and thinks like this. It is an interesting phenomena, hope others like myself can comment as well. 👍
Well said!! Everything you speak of is so true!
I've seen wealthy people spend hours comparison shop just to make sure they are getting the best deal and value for their money. They're not frivolous or show off.
When they make a purchase they know they're planning on keeping it for a long time sometimes to a fault that's why their homes may look like a museum.
Wealthy people do tend to travel in small circles!
Charities are also a huge part of their lives. They make sure they are giving back to society generously!
Education is very important and its a main topic in their conversations. They stay versed on many subjects and travel often giving them opportunities to be exposed to the ways of the world.
Wealthy people understand their place in the world and their responsibility to give back. Of course there are exceptions to the rules but generally it doesn't stray far from basic ideas to how they live their lives.
It can be intimidating to be in their presence because they are definitely judging you!
If they are judging you they don't have good manners. Why an earth fear that kind of jerks. Money can't buy a class. That is good to remeber.
I love that old money are discreet people that will not make a scene in public or create embarassing situations. The fact that they are also respectful of others makes a difference. They set the example of appropriate behavior most of the time.
Hi Anna, I have never commented any of your video but when I saw the title I felt curiosity.... I come from what you call an "old money" aristocratic spanish family and I can confirm almost everything you said. In my childhood I was teached to always think, do, go... what "WE" do. As you said, sense of community and feeling of "us versus them" are very deeply rooted, old money grow and live segregated in a world where they don't actually see other kinds of realities.
But now Anna, I am an adult and I can tell you that old money sense of community has also a dark side... you must be strictly compliant with the community standards otherwise you will be looked down and in some cases excluded.... you must be composed, calm and never show your feelings even if inside you want to cry or scream... you must..., you must... I could continue for hours.
Also, old money are always polite and kind to "normal" people but attention: most of them will never enter in an intimate love or friendship relationship with a normal person. Because in their mentality, sadly, is "us versus them".
Every community has its dark side.
I remember my dad taking me on an economy class train ride just before I started undergrad, just to make me realize what I have and how much I should appreciate it. And yes my friend’s dad was ousted from the community because he spoke up against things and didn’t continue with their family business, which was actually an empire. It’s all gone because her dad became a scientist and so did she. I think we are all doing great. The values and principles are what we carry forward. Money can always be rebuilt even if you are cut off from family money.
Based on your description of “old money” lifestyle I think it sounds kind of sad.
Absolutely agree.
Used to live in a village were the landlord owned 99% of the houses which had been handed down from generations. He lived in the manor house( Lord of the manor/ mansion)
Used to walk round in clothes he had for years not designer.
Usual head scarfs, flat caps wax cotton coats
Drove around in old Land rovers etc.
Would help anyone no matter if they were poor or rich.
Big village manor house party for Xmas, father Xmas Used to come on a sleigh pulled by his wife's most prized driving pony. Every child had a present.
Then you get new money who like to show how rich they are designer clothes, watches, cars.
Old money never openly talk about money. Where as new will.
I like that old money is humble and down to earth.Some old money is snobbish but not all
Me my self educated middle class, I always avoid to be in contact with the new money. People I met craves attention and ask rude personal questions + talking about their accomplishments like no one else
Actually a lot of new money people look down on old money people without knowing that they are rich just because old money people usually don't show off. New money people often come to very wrong conclusions because they don't conceive the idea that a rich person would dress in a simple manner or would lead a relatively frugal life (average cars, average clothes, using public transport etc...). Maybe the only unambiguous sign of wealth you see in old money people is their house, but obviously it's not something you see immediately when you meet someone.
"They are always very polite, not rude" - true.
Only our manners tell people whether we are royal or a royal beggar.😇
Love your work.❤️
Things that tell that you’re old money: actually coming from a wealthy family that has passed down that wealth for at least a couple of generations. Old Money isn’t a stereotype rooted in your attire or comportment, it’s a socioeconomic reality irrespective of how you dress or act.
I find many old money people don’t bother about home decor or have no aesthetic taste in it. On the other hand, people who are not well off have taste and borrow money to design their dream home 😅
my mom from Germany came from old money but ww2 they lost everything and fled. She was born in 1923
Thank you for this. I've grown weary of telling folks who comment on tik tok old money aesthetic videos that most of the time, OM do not spend lavishly.
I've even had someone claim that frugality is not a sign of old money...
Just realized I was raised “old money” without the money, lol!
This has really made me laugh, I’m 5th generation “old money” we’re actually a little mean with money because it’s been instilled into us from such a young age, don’t be surprised to find “old money” ppl wearing vintage & second hand clothes… we were doing that before it was on trend 🤭 we’re slightly eccentric, and yes really aren’t bothered about ppl looking down on us, we actually find it extremely funny… you’ve honestly got this so factual!
i was thinking the same! my husband and I were dna'd old money methods growing up by old money people and have gotten that question a couple of times..., "are you old money? how much money do you actually have that you can do this?" whatever _this_ is. we're passing the methods on to our nieces and nephews.
My husband’s family is old money from France. Im American “no money”. My dad was a NYC police officer.
My mother, however, was obsessed with the old money ilk. And so she instilled in us (5) the power of stellar manners And dressing very well (classic) on a dime. I receive many compliments on my office attire and am very cautious to stick to classic clothing. As an aside,, im older (66) and get very upset when I see women my age dress matronly. There is no need to give up on your looks as you age. There is no need to dress in “old lady” baggy capris and boxy shirts. You can keep it simple and elegant.
That being said, my husband’s family has been great to me. In fact, my husband says that at times, I am more French than American. ( i.e. when we are in his country and my good manners and respectfulness is displaying) you would be shocked at the loud and obnoxious behavior of SOME Americans. Its not a pretty sight.
@@Atypical60 haha...'no money'... That's so funny because it's so relatable.
But being classy on a dime is great. That's what my mom taught too. And good manners...
As for our mom, it's us daughters who encouraged her to dress better especially as she ages.
Rich people makes average ppl feel special or something when they use your clothes and make it a trend or become trend, the power
I'm an Indian and it was totally new for me ....I always learn new things from uh not just elegance 💕
Thankyou my dear elegant Ana❤️
I work as a ballet dancer now, and a lot of your old money tips and manners remind me of how yourr supposed to dress and act in ballet 😊
Most dancers are not old money or rich 💀💀✋😭 but ballet has its roots in the upper classes. Its interesting how old money people preserve these ideas and traditions for so long 😮 it can be very nice 👌
I read the personal diaries of the murdered Romanov royal family. Royals in Europe build theatres and sponsor ballet shows since attending ballet and opera is an old favorite past time.
I once had a relationship with a person who went to boarding school at Ardingly. He said no one was interested in wearing designer trainers. This is very different to state school children that often want and feel the need to feel accepted by each other through wearing certain brands.
They may not say “I’m old money” but they will NEVER stop talking about their family members that came over on the Mayflower.
hahahaha
The outfit of this video + pearls.. So appropriate for the video. Love it 👌🏻
Thank you
“Old money” (horrendous label, aristocratic is much better) families take very good care of their homes, cars, clothes, furniture and jewelry. When you spend more money on items of good quality and want them to last at least for your own lifetime and sometimes to pass down, you take very good care of them.
Not all old money are aristocrats though?
I come from five generations of wealth, as a teen I could never understand why talking about money was considered as tacky!
All your points are true! All my “old money” friends drive normal cars, shop rarely and fly economy. They spend money more on experiences instead of big logos and a so called luxury “lifestyle”.
In the US, it generally takes three generations to “clean” your money. If your great grandparents were the source of the original wealth, then it’s not considered “new” exactly. It’s really only considered “old” however, if your family’s wealth was pre-war meaning the US Civil War. I grew up around both and the major difference was consistent with your comments. Old money never spent any, new money did. Old money merely exchanged cash for assets that could be reconverted to cash if necessary like art, homes, and land.
Thank you for sharing this. Everything you are saying is completely true. I’m from “old money” on my mother’s side (my dad’s family was “new money”), and my family was economical but shopped for quality and spent on education.
Wanted to add - my dad didn’t buy into the “new money mindset” because his parents were refugees who escaped Nazi Germany, and since they lost nearly everything in order to escape, they were very conservative with spending.
By adopting old money habits and growing your wealth (and passing those lessons down to your kids if u have any), you can start generational wealth that can turn into old money eventually! Be the change you want to see, including within your family :) (You won't necessarily see the change as it is generational change BUT you can kickstart the good habits lol)
my mother in an old money child ,her behaviour ,looks mentality is very different then the regular people
I come from an old money family but I had a spending limit, I used to be very angry because i wanted things they wouldnt buy me, and when i went to college my mom told me that I have a savings account for the past 18 years, use it "wisely" she said. I invested in them throughout college, now im 33 years old and im doing the same with my kids. When i see people trying to chase the media influencers by buying everything branded and expensive.. it just makes me feel sad and pitty cause im pretty sure they still feel lacking, they still want to impress more and buy more and its just never ending, learn to be content with what you have.
I know you are not talking about new money but i have noticed there is always a need for extravagance in everything , e.g shopping literally everday , ordering bunch of food , going to top places like it's a competition to be seen . The list goes on
I know very wealthy people who NEVER fly business or drive flashy cars. They became wealthy by being smart with money and not wasteful. They also work a LOT, while they could have retired years ago, they continue to work, invest, and grow their wealth.
spot on! thanks for another informative video. love your look in this video.
The furniture is so beautiful! For some reason it made me so happy to find out that it stays the same even as time passes.
Family portraits donned the walls at my grandparents home. My grandmother graduated from a private music college in the early 1900’s, before 1910. She could play piano so well. I remember sitting next to her on the bench as she played “The Charge of the Light Brigade” & “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes” circa 1933. At Christmas, when daddy was a boy, Gramp would take the family to a part of town in need & give gifts & food to every family. Each child in the family would have to select someone in need & give that child their very best toy before getting anything for themselves at Christmas; a life lesson in giving before getting.
Integrity + Wisdom = Power. Trust, loyalty, principles and values. As within, so without. Things of the heart and things of the spirit ⚖
I love timeless clothing (even though my dad keeps telling me to get xyz because it’s in fashion- I don’t listen most of the time), I love to read, I love history, I love certain antiques/antique furniture, I love certain art (and took art as a GCSE), I love music (especially classical music) & the theatre ( I went to stage school & took drama as a GCSE). I think I’d get along well with old money people. My parents brought my up to appreciate things like time team, the antiques roadshow, documentaries, the repair shop and other similar shows. My mum taught me about proper grammar & conversation. I try to be my best on the little money I have.
I'd like a video about the differences between social media old money aesthetic and actual old money fashion
Me too 😂
There is a German proverb my grandmother passed on to me:
"You can learn how to save from a rich man."
Can you spell it here in gwrman..?
@@hell0kitje Vom Reichen kannst du das Sparen lernen.
I would listen to this subject of old money style forever. My favorite of all! Thank you!
I’m not old money, but I am really starting to see the poor mindset in people. They say they have no money, but order drinks, eat out a lot, complain about lots of things, me me me mentality. I’ve decided to live low key like the well off people I know. Things are good and I can help teach others who are willing to change.
It’s amazing how many life coaches have messed up lives.
Thanks for your videos, I’ve learned a lot from you.
My dear Anna I can't wait to hear your advice. For some reason it feels like eternity since last Sunday that you uploaded a video! Looking forward to it 💖
I love the look of old money furniture. Tuft leather couches, the deep dark wood, it's all gorgeous. I also love the way they dress. I guess that's why when I took your quiz I came up as classic elegant. 😊
The mind set should be if you will have something for a long time (durable vs non-durable), then buy the best quality you can afford. That’s not being cheap, that’s smart and you don’t need old money to do this. Eat better and you will be able to think and remember more savvy daily.
i never understood how one could be proud to be "old money" ... its not like you did something to get it, you just inherited the money wooow
Its a LOT more impressive when you build your own Business, build your own wealth
but cool and interesting Video ! Like
Apparently I'm old money, without even having money :D
Me too
Same