The sergeant major wouldn't cook bacon for you you would shove your head in the toilet then throw a bit of bacon in front of you and a bit of Timmy's coffee
Two friends, a priest and rabbi, are travelling on a train to a religious convention. At one point, the priest asks the rabbi: “I hope you don’t mind me asking, Isaac, but I’ve often wondered if you've ever tried bacon” The rabbi admitted: “Well, I did once, out of curiosity many years ago, but never again” The priest smiled kindly: “I understand, old friend. Your secret’s safe with me” A few minutes later, the rabbi asks: “Since you ask, I've sometimes wondered if you ever had sex” Quietly, the priest replied: “I did once when I was a young novice, but not since” After a pause, the rabbi grinned and said: “Better than bacon, ain’t it?”
@@sirbader1 Being a Jew is not just a religion it's also a political stance as well as an ethnic group. They were bright enough to realise John Locke was wrong.
Looove this skit. Will we get a 'Pigeon brain' upload too? Got an American friend who I would love to introduce to the one true Brit, our Pub Landlord ☺️
God, those memories of driving the porcelain bus...and then after you've emptied the tank, trying to sleep on the disco bed, round and round she goes until you need to go and drive the porcelain bus again.
@@phredphlintstone6455 Both feet on the floor? Golden, time for more sex please.i know you'ld not believe it, but five times in one night and again in the morning...I was younger and fitter then, we bounced off every wall in a small room and laughed about the things that got broken....oh happy days!
Benjamin Franklin: Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Al Murray: Bacon is proof that God loves us and wants use to be happy. Me: These are religious ideals that I can get behind and support.
Apart from the stale pork scratching and the three pink guys in running shoes this is an accurate representation of every one of my Friday nights for the last 30 years. Obviously I must try harder in future!
Serious comment. The difference between UK and US humour. A lot of American comedians do little more than swear a lot and make obscene jokes. They get whistles, cheers and laughs and do little else apart from wisecrack, often at the expense of others . Good UK comedians swear occasionally, involve the audience in a gentle and amusing way, and do an intelligently worked out, original, relevant and funny routine that deserves the cheers and laughs it gets.
@@Hustada Good to hear it. But Ken Dee has a point. Swearing in context is fine by me but generally childish otherwise. So-called "Adult humour" in the early '70s was merely designed to shock. It's largely lost that factor, thank heavens. And now a skilled comedian can use it to his advantage if he's intelligent enough.
He's right about the vegetarians too. My wife is a vego (it's a texture thing, not ethical. She just doesn't like most of it) and whenever I'm cooking bacon she says "I could eat that". I'm yet to see her actually do it, but she's repeatedly said if she were forced to eat meat she'd start with bacon.
In all of this we missed the point that when you’re 3 sheets to the wind huddling in the corner of the bathroom between the wall and the bowl with your face on the rim is the single comfiest place in the world 😂
Two mates dropped by one morning. One’s a Jew and I apologised to him as I was making bacon sandwiches. Ten minutes later, we are all tucking in and the world was right. Bacon brings peace and harmony.
It says a lot about british homes that you can mention the strip of metal that separates the carpet from the linoleum and EVERYONE knows what you're talking about and why would scraping your face against it would be a bad idea.
I once had bacon covered in chocolate. In theory that should be the best candy ever. The best salty food combined with the best sweet food. In practice it wasn't that good. The chocolate diluted the bacon.
Great British comedy, courtesy of 30grand a year Bedford public school, everything here in England is better, we are so lucky, best public school's best Royal family, best cars our nissans are the best Japanese er, cars in the erm, World,
@@renditioners No need to be bitter. An expensive education isn't required to get down to your local comedy club and start doing open mics. It's a good and free way to learn if it's a craft you enjoy working on.
If you do not believe in bacon then you shall not be welcomed into heaven but struck down to hell. This was written in the third tablet that Moses dropped
He would also appreciate this quote attributed to colonial rebel (American Founding Father) Benjamin Franklin: "Beer is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy."
@@georgehristov8874 it was joke and anyone should take that way and i wouldn't eat anything vegan i work in the restaurant business and its utter dreadful shit but please feel free to be vegan and drink soy
@@steveholmes5207 you know what you talking about.....but i think i have a faint idea of what shit goes into those fucking rashers........it's dreadful .....
@@georgehristov8874 Oh, go and eat some grass. Herbivores don't have canines. And they are generally dumb. We are omnivores and have canines. To bite meat, to give us the proteins we need for our brains to function at a higher level. If we'd have stayed Herbivores, we'd still be living in trees. It always Amazes me how so many people don't understand simple scientific facts.
I thought many of these comments were spam. Turns out they are bacon.
😂
They grow it, around the corner, where you'd least expect it, on an ambush.
As a recovered alcoholic, I don't miss this in the slightest.
Yet bacon is still awsome 👍
That made me cry with laughter. More please...
More bacon yes please
The sergeant major wouldn't cook bacon for you you would shove your head in the toilet then throw a bit of bacon in front of you and a bit of Timmy's coffee
Now THAT'S what I call genuine observational comedy genius. 🥓🥓🥓
This is the most british thing I've seen in a while.
Dark Leader certainly is my friend 🤣🤣
Brits love Denmark everybody knows we are the provider of Bacon😜
@@brianjensen3047#Lurpak 🥇💛😊
@@brianjensen3047not to mention your extended kingdom saved our bacon once or twice ⚔️👌
Quite possibly the best comedy skit from a character ever ! That stuff about the 'Perilous assault on the bog"......haven't we all been there.
One of my favorite comedy skits. 😂
Two friends, a priest and rabbi, are travelling on a train to a religious convention.
At one point, the priest asks the rabbi: “I hope you don’t mind me asking, Isaac, but I’ve often wondered if you've ever tried bacon”
The rabbi admitted: “Well, I did once, out of curiosity many years ago, but never again”
The priest smiled kindly: “I understand, old friend. Your secret’s safe with me”
A few minutes later, the rabbi asks: “Since you ask, I've sometimes wondered if you ever had sex”
Quietly, the priest replied: “I did once when I was a young novice, but not since”
After a pause, the rabbi grinned and said: “Better than bacon, ain’t it?”
Apparently, Judaism isn't just an orientation, but a religion.
No
That's actually a hard one. Give up bacon or give up sex? 🤔
@@moose5996 just give up eating bacon during sex, works for me.
@@sirbader1 Being a Jew is not just a religion it's also a political stance as well as an ethnic group. They were bright enough to realise John Locke was wrong.
Makes sense to me ...
Looove this skit. Will we get a 'Pigeon brain' upload too?
Got an American friend who I would love to introduce to the one true Brit, our Pub Landlord ☺️
God, those memories of driving the porcelain bus...and then after you've emptied the tank, trying to sleep on the disco bed, round and round she goes until you need to go and drive the porcelain bus again.
Mobius Trip Dead right, but how many times did we just not quite make it , but we still had to speak to Hughie on the big phone ! C Taylor .
Disco bed...nice.
We used, bed spins.
...put a foot on the floor, stops the spins
most of the time. If not, try both feet on the floor...
@@phredphlintstone6455 Both feet on the floor? Golden, time for more sex please.i know you'ld not believe it, but five times in one night and again in the morning...I was younger and fitter then, we bounced off every wall in a small room and laughed about the things that got broken....oh happy days!
@@conmcgrath7502 a bit off topic
@@phredphlintstone6455 You're just jealous! And yes, it is true.
How do you make any food taste better?
Add bacon.
How do you improve bacon?
Add more bacon
Genius.
@GazB85 Sounds vile just thinking about it.
Ill add bacon to bacon
then guess what?
ill fucking do it again
Add bacon and tomatoes - then more bacon.
Benjamin Franklin: Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Al Murray: Bacon is proof that God loves us and wants use to be happy.
Me: These are religious ideals that I can get behind and support.
The most English of comedians. That bathroom scene! Comic genius.
Saw an ad for a new Kevin Bacon movie at the start of the video.
Take it from a Virginian , Bacon is that Good . Best wishes from the U.S.A.
Wow, just wow. What a true talent this lad is.
Bacon butty here we go!!!
Oh so accurate of my seventies and eighties, apart from being scared to close my eyes as the room would spin uncontrolably.
Al Murray is Britain’s crazy drunk uncle. God bless him.
Apart from the stale pork scratching and the three pink guys in running shoes this is an accurate representation of every one of my Friday nights for the last 30 years. Obviously I must try harder in future!
Past performance would indicate that's unlikely! But did you? 😁
Thank you for the endorsement:-)
As someone who' genuinely lost the use of the right side of my body (from a stroke), that mime of trying to drag yourself off the floor is spot on
Serious comment. The difference between UK and US humour. A lot of American comedians do little more than swear a lot and make obscene jokes. They get whistles, cheers and laughs and do little else apart from wisecrack, often at the expense of others . Good UK comedians swear occasionally, involve the audience in a gentle and amusing way, and do an intelligently worked out, original, relevant and funny routine that deserves the cheers and laughs it gets.
This is way to generalized. It depends on their persona. There are plenty of great American comedians who don’t rely on obscenity or swearing.
@@Hustada Good to hear it. But Ken Dee has a point.
Swearing in context is fine by me but generally childish otherwise.
So-called "Adult humour" in the early '70s was merely designed to shock.
It's largely lost that factor, thank heavens.
And now a skilled comedian can use it to his advantage if he's intelligent enough.
@@patagualianmostly7437 Fuck off, you're talking bollocks.
What's America got to do with it?
Probably because you all get arrested at the slightest step over the line anyway.
The bacon force 🤣
This routine is now something like 10 years old, and I still collapse in helpless laughter when I watch it. The man's a genius.
He's right about the vegetarians too. My wife is a vego (it's a texture thing, not ethical. She just doesn't like most of it) and whenever I'm cooking bacon she says "I could eat that". I'm yet to see her actually do it, but she's repeatedly said if she were forced to eat meat she'd start with bacon.
There are only two types of people in the world: those who love bacon, and liars.
I want some bacon now lol
6:50 Most unimpressed face EVER.
In all of this we missed the point that when you’re 3 sheets to the wind huddling in the corner of the bathroom between the wall and the bowl with your face on the rim is the single comfiest place in the world 😂
Two mates dropped by one morning. One’s a Jew and I apologised to him as I was making bacon sandwiches. Ten minutes later, we are all tucking in and the world was right. Bacon brings peace and harmony.
As a kid I nearly died of choking on bacon 3 times yet I still agree
And how do you find it now, Ahmed...better?
Telford, Rotherham and Rochdale. Something tells me universal British support for Bacon is waining.
Anyone else in the mood for bacon now?
I didn't know getting that drunk was so much fun.
It aint if there aint no bacon bro...
"Holly Bacon" 😆😂🤣. Great Show.🥓🥓🥓🍺🍺🍺
Amazing. Best one ha we all relate landlord.
You know you're in for a few hours starring at armitage shanks when you close your eyes and the pesky room starts spinning lol
It says a lot about british homes that you can mention the strip of metal that separates the carpet from the linoleum and EVERYONE knows what you're talking about and why would scraping your face against it would be a bad idea.
You ever stubbed tour toe on a strip of metal?
@@Futureistixsoundz This isn't "a" strip of metal. This is THE strip of metal almost everyone has in their British homes.
Great work as usual!
I once had bacon covered in chocolate. In theory that should be the best candy ever. The best salty food combined with the best sweet food. In practice it wasn't that good. The chocolate diluted the bacon.
LOL you have got to have been there to tell it like that :-)!
Can never go wrong with Bacon
That's what Shakespeare said.
When I looked at the title I thought it's about something profound Francis Bacon said😂😂
Knowledge is power, France is Bacon.
Pigs - the inventors of bacon
They're not gonna like this one.
Dear Al, wonderful video you posted. Please can you post the other proof of God vide?, [The one about flight]
Omg I'm getting flashbacks 🤣🤣🤣
The kiwis have a good saying, "how do you make a good meal better? Just add bacon!"
I've been living in New Zealand for 8 years, and I have never, ever once heard any kiwi say this, stop lying!
bacon is red,bacon is rough,one strip of bacon is never enough.
It is better having an empty house than a bad tenant. Embrace the bowl.
This is actually a true story. Bless you bacon.
Lol I'm American so hello from across the pond you are awesome defiantly a like and subscribe from me
Welcome aboard the sinking ship....But we'll go down laughing, eh?!
We've all been there! 😂
The most English thing about The Guv is Al's command of the language
Serious advice, when you're throwing up, don't tip your head down too low, or the throw up'll come out your nose
taking toilet humour to new heights.
The Pub Landlord, a genius creation.
Another genius,brilliant!
I thought it was wine. As Ben Franklin said: "Wine is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
I wanna ave a beer wiv this man
You are not properly drunk till you have to hold on to the floor to stop yourself falling off.
Hail Bacon. Blessed is the fruit of thy piglet. The aroma of the ressurection art with thee. Blessed be the sizzle. 🥓🙏
Bacon food for the gods
Dang Al, you just don't seem to be able to hold your liquor.
Clever writing indeed.
Brilliant. He's like a straight Lily Savage
You sir, made me a believer !
Comedy genius!
Genius!
AMEN!
Needs a trigger warning for vegans 😂
they are not vegan by the end of it
Yes it does.
Vegans can become extremely aggressive.
A trigger warning would save his bacon...
@@krazytroutcatcher that pun was greasy.
@@voidstrider801 so is bacon
BACON
YES
I LOVE BACON
For some reason, I thought it was gonna be about Francis Bacon.
I mean I thought about it too.
Humor without out the artificial laugh track. Great British comedy. USA TV comedy is terrible.
We know. Stop reminding us
We know stop reminding us. I'm from the u.s. I even loved British Comedy as a kid. I'm 46 now
Great British comedy, courtesy of 30grand a year Bedford public school, everything here in England is better, we are so lucky, best public school's best Royal family, best cars our nissans are the best Japanese er, cars in the erm, World,
@@renditioners No need to be bitter. An expensive education isn't required to get down to your local comedy club and start doing open mics. It's a good and free way to learn if it's a craft you enjoy working on.
When the Bacon see’s your unconscious body propped up against your toilet bowl:
Come now, this is no place to die
My mum's vegitarian but still eats bacon
How does he come up with stuff like this!
I guess experience of his own 😁
He's an Oxbridge graduate, many years of practice. A VERY intelligent bloke. I think his old man is a High Court judge!!!?
I can confirm all of this.
If you do not believe in bacon then you shall not be welcomed into heaven but struck down to hell.
This was written in the third tablet that Moses dropped
Genius
I just got back home from Burger King where I had a bacon king burger and now I'm watching this. Lol
Could have been worse...you could have done a McD's..... Yukkkkk
Thank God for Bacon!
🥓 nom nom
He would also appreciate this quote attributed to colonial rebel (American Founding Father) Benjamin Franklin: "Beer is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy."
I was drinking tonight, only half a fifth, and this made me want to puke.
Job well done.
Doomer Quiet what’s a fifth, or a tenth in this case?
This made me cry a little and thank god I don’t live in an Islamic country. Nothing that tastes as good as bacon should be banned by anyone.
I knew I was special
All Bacon Eaters are special. Big Hugs.
The first scene in just a stroke
Bacon Butty 🥪 🤤
How true!
My dad said he was a vegetarian until he smelt bacon🤣🤣
Bacon, the greatest cure for vegetarianism
St. Anselm is so totally past tense...know real way of knowin'...
Its true. Been vegetarian for almost 50 years and the only meat i wish i liked is bacon. It smells fecking fantastic
True untill they made it full of water and tasting of salt.
I blame the Danes for that: "Probably The Finest Bacon In The World."
Bullshit....(Yeah, I know...but that goes for their crap "lager" too!)
Bacon lol i love pigs but i love the taste of bacon so win win lol
If you really care about pigs but love bacon, you can try having soy bacon rashers.
I’ve tried and they taste they same as real flesh.
@@georgehristov8874 it was joke and anyone should take that way and i wouldn't eat anything vegan i work in the restaurant business and its utter dreadful shit but please feel free to be vegan and drink soy
@@steveholmes5207 you know what you talking about.....but i think i have a faint idea of what shit goes into those fucking rashers........it's dreadful .....
@Gio piss off if you hate bacon
@@georgehristov8874 Oh, go and eat some grass.
Herbivores don't have canines.
And they are generally dumb.
We are omnivores and have canines.
To bite meat, to give us the proteins we need for our brains to function at a higher level.
If we'd have stayed Herbivores, we'd still be living in trees.
It always Amazes me how so many people don't understand simple scientific facts.
I had a Jewish roommate who couldn't resist the life giving force of bacon.
Bacon is gonna save my arse in the morning from how much I drank from tonight. Lmfao
✝️
think bacon will save my life in the morning