Dealing With Anger (A Stoic & Buddhist Perspective)
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- Опубліковано 10 лют 2025
- What is anger and how can we deal with it?
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#stoicism #anger #buddhism
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anger can be natural and not natural it depends on the situation
most of the time we get angry is anatural it makes your reasoning fade and just general destruction in everything
but there is another form of anger is when you get angry at the sight of your people your "brother" beeing manipulated or get unfair treatment by others then you MUST get angry and stand up for them thats the natural anger and its nececary in our world but it should only come when youre able to do something about it otherwise its useless and will cause only problems to you
not having anger at all is problematic as having the bad kind of anger it could be a sing of you not loving anyone beeing completely souless a sosiopath or things like that
This explains so much. "Anger is the desire to repay suffering." That hit me really hard. I've been carrying it around for a long time without knowing.
Nowadays, you have people who never personally suffered wanting to repay suffering onto people who never personally caused suffering.
If you carry something for a long time it starts to get very heavy, and then there will come a point when its to heavy to carry any more and you'll just let go. If you can't do it consciously it will happen on its on, but its tiring until that happens.
Schwieg - Huh...whoever would have thought Uncle Aristotle was so wise; whenever we visit his souvlaki joint he’s always freaking out at the kitchen staff.
@@nerthus4685 Amen, they call it being offended...
@@pfinn6722 well said...without trying to sound so damn smart. We need more like you
I heard of a Buddhist quote: Being angry is like holding fire in our hands while trying to hurt the other person with it. We end up hurting ourselves the most.
Eagle Eye haha yea I think yours is closer to the original metaphor. But same meaning 😊🙏🏻
@ this.
Cindy, thank you for sharing that analogy. It is so true, but anger comes so quickly. I will "burn" this image in my mind and continue to be mindful.
Buddha did not say that, but its a wonderful quote.
@ Buddha did not say that, but its a wonderful quote.
Anger is one of those emotions which we cannot get rid off but can transform.
I do the following when I get angry:
1. Turn my focus to my breathing
2. Meditate on the feeling of discomfort
3. Create a delay in response time, by counting to 20
4. Remind myself that anger makes one loose 50% of his/her power and reduces ability to take logical decision.
If that's really what you do you've never been angry or you're a chill dude normally
Abstaining from profanity is another good preventative measure for me. Saying or even thinking the f word usually inflects emotion into the sentence you are trying to formulate as a response to an idea.
@@MBUOffical :-)
@@RobertEskuri That is very true
@@MBUOffical As per my understanding, Anger can be defined as an impulsive and destructive emotional outburst which comes when either of the following happens:
1. Person or situation doesn't turn out to be as we expected or desired.
2. Some disrespects our core beliefs ( religion, ideology, etc ) or a person whom we love .
I do come accross such situations now & then, but It doesnt angry me, perhaps I focus on how to find the middle ground rather than shouting, fighting or arguing to prove my point .
But I also agree with you that in situations where someone disrespects my parents or family, It is extremely difficult to stay sane but then I read a quote somewhere,
"the most dangerous warriors are not the once who are angry but are calm with head full of clarity on how to defeat their opponents"
Something I recently learned though is that you can in a controlled manner use anger to overcome situations of fear, it's a double edged sword of sorts.
Yep much like the Angry solider analogy in the video. anger can bring us to victory but sometimes at the cost of ourselves
i used anger to gain assertiveness which i sorely lacked at certain critical moment.
I have conquered anger completely. The last time I was anger was in 2000. However, I have not conquered fear at all. Could it be time to revisit anger after all these years, if I can even get angry again? Perhaps I may have destroyed a part of me I should not have not destroyed.
Indrid Cold what made you angry in 2000? Just curious.
@@indridcold8433 it sounds you have set your fight or flight system to default to flight, and this probably will cause you to run from all your problems and be a pushover
Through therapy I was able to recognize that my anger problem was rooted in self criticism - I would get angry at my mistakes, no matter how small, because they were a sign I wasn’t good enough, and I would get angry at situations that were out of my control because of the fact that I could not control them, again because I wasn’t good enough.
Letting that self criticism go, accepting that it’s normal and ok to make mistakes and that I can’t expect to have control over what others do or say, has opened up a whole new world for me. I’ve found my calm and my patience and my perspective is so much more open and free now. It’s been life changing.
Man, I can relate. The self-critic can be absolutely monstrous! Good that you've let that go.
I'm sure this situation effects more of us then realized. Congrats.
This is the BEST comment for my soul right now, thank YOU!
“Although you may spend your life killing, you will not exhaust all your foes. But if you quell your own anger, your real enemy will be slain” - Nagarjuna
That's a nice saying, but rage is there to protect you when nothing else will, by driving you to kill whoever is committing an act of injustice against you.
That's also why humans are capable of the approach to life known as live-and-let-live.
That nail story is amazing.
Thanks Black Hatter, I thought so too. It had a huge impact on me.
Black Hatter
It is very sad too when I can see how I ruined my life
@@Onlinesully but that doesnt mean it will stay ruined, just stand up everytime you fall. Youre not alone pls remember that
Black Hatter
Lost my partner child and career.
And lost mental a day physical health
Want to be gone now
@@Onlinesully pls know im hoping the best for you, i hope i can help but just know youre not alone
Whenever I’m angry, I try to calm myself repeating over and over “is this necessary?” Over and over again until my mind comes to the conclusion that it isn’t and moves on. Don’t know if someone else has a similar method for coping with anger.
I think sometimes it is necessary
Name some examples in which anger is actually necessary then ?
(Asking cause ive tried and cant)
I do that with commenting online.. Most times. Lol.
I'm gonna try this, anger is destroying my life. I have such a short fuse
At the end of the day, no amount of philosophy and spirituality will prevent anger if we ignore few immediate physical factors like diet habit and lifestyle. For example, instead of constantly shoving our mouth with food or even eating our timely regular meals everyday, it helps to calm not just anger but all emotions when we practice fasting. Another great anger reducing method is exercise. Tire your body in the morning. You'll still feel the emotions but it's not as powerful as it was before you were without exercise. These spiritual leaders like Dalai Lama all have some fasting routines and do not eat as much than necessary and they also practice meditation and occupy themselves with studies and preaching. These practical steps help these individuals a great deal in calming their emotions besides philosophy which shows the why of it.
Don’t forget to be patient with yourself today ❤️
Thank you!!😉👌😄👍😊🙌💝🤲
Thank you for this message. Anger costed me a beautiful relationship I once cherished so deeply. I hurt this person, and the scars will remain for her whole lifetime. No matter how much I apologize.
Aggression/anger is a powerful emotion that needs to be integrated by finding effective channels for it otherwise it becomes destructive.
Authentic Self Guide amen
Jordan Peterson mentions this. Didn’t happen to follow him as well??
All anger is inherently destructive. Channeling the anger makes it easier to be angry at certain stimuli. You are rewarding your brain every time you accept that anger, and teaching it to rewire itself to be more angry.
The only way to win is not to play. Deprive the fire of anger its fuel and it will stop to burn and smolder. Deprive the brain of its dopamine from anger, and you break the anger/reward cycle.
@@Cyberwar101 anger is not inherently destructive, it can be very constructive too
Anger stems from injustice and wanting to right wrongs. Like fighting for rights even, is fuelled by the anger of the injustice of equality
Anger ≠ aggression !!!!!!!
I love that “holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die” - Buddha
That's the bible
@@realname2404 what verse?
idk what the other person is on, that is definitely one of Buddha's quotes !
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” - Yoda
Mmmh.
Ahh the great stoic George Lucas
Damn
Cookies.
@@crouchhill He actually borrowed more from Buddhism and The Greeks.
That story of the fence is so touching.
Very true and profound.
I love the differentiation between animal and human.
Sometimes I need to count to a million. Or count sheep until I fall asleep 😄😄
I needed this. I get so angry sometimes that my vision gets blurry. My anger is mostly hot, though, which I think is healthier than cold anger. My anger extinguishes quickly. And I’m never physically violent and I’m not verbally abusive to loved ones. I just air my grievances, sometimes loudly.
Any anger is weakness. Lose the self the ego the me myself and I.
Scotch yelper stfu
Anger can be observed.
KittySnicker
Be careful.
I would have said the same bit it messed my life up
You just need to find a productive way to funnel it. Buy a punching bag or something, you'll get good at defending yourself in the process. Fight fir with fire.
This came at the perfect time, I have recently been feeling angry because of the stuff happening in my life. I had forgotten that anger is an emotion that won’t benefit me at all, but thanks to you , I remember now
Now I finally understand, "Anger gives you great power but if you let it , it will destroy you."
"I sat w anger long enough and realized it was grief " I don't know who to give this credit but it is one I come back to often.
I just can’t agree that anger isn’t useful. Every emotion is useful once you feel why it started, its origins and causes. The usefulness of any emotion is understanding oneself.
Exactly. I feel everyone would also be a lot happier if they didn’t place emotions into categories like exclusively positive and negative. Yes everyone wants happiness, yes too much anger/sadness is bad, but we have them for a reason and feeling guilty for feeling the ones deemed as bad will only make the shadow grow darker.
It's very useful but you're right it's about seeing the nature of it really as well as our selves. You might like where I ended up it's a tradition called Drukama check it out.
I view anger as the realization that someone is doing deliberate harm to something you care about. So I don't see that it is a problem in the case where someone is physically attacking you. It is appropriate to respond with unreasoning violence in that case. I understand that anger will get in the way of fighting for people who have trained, but I suppose perhaps the feeling of anger is much older than martial arts. I would guess that if two untrained people got in a fight who were equal in all respects but one was angrier, probably the angry person would win. I can see however that we often imagine that things are very harmful to us and we get angry about them when they are not really so harmful.
You can transmute the anger into something more useful. The anger by its self is harmful. Just like a wild explosion, but if contained that explosion in a cylinder is what gives us the ability to drive.
J Butt'a the explosion itself may be harmful depending on each situation, bur anger in itself isn’t necessarily bad.
Aside from what you've mentioned, I channel all energy from anger into training in the gym and martial arts and it works wonders.
rebelpoxy great way to redirect negativity into something constructive via physical activity
We all feel anger. That is undeniable. How we choose to control & handle it makes the difference. Anger could be momentarily useful, as in an instance of defending yourself or a loved one. But one must eventually let it go & get rid of its toxic negativity, otherwise it becomes unpredictably dangerous & self-destructive. Even the most righteous anger can quickly morph out of control & cause great harm.
Great share, love how you brought Eastern and Western philosophy together. One method that I find really helps is a form of detachment, by taking a moment to observe thoughts when angry without acting on them to eventually let them go. Similar to counting to 10, it goes with the Buddhist idea that as time passes the universe changes.
Unhappiness and frustration can lead to anger unfortunately, unless you find a way to redirect that negative energy into something positive
Whenever I’m angry or upset I tell my self “it will pass” just as my other angry thoughts have
Is this internalizing anger?
Seems that there are times to 'let it go', and times to understand the feelings.
Kirstin Strand I don’t know the answer to your question. I have a hard time observing my feelings so it could be the lesser
I was *FURIOUS* at myself that I required this video so much today! Seriously though, Thank You for this.
Right on lol
Same
I'm starting to become better person just watching thus kind of videos. It gives me inner peace! Thank you. I'm truly grateful
I struggle with some mental health issues but a huge problem of mine is explosive angry tempers. Likely to be triggered by very little at all especially when going through periods of depression and stress. Kids at school used to rile me up on purpose because I could very quickly lash out and scream and throw things, that was fun for them to see, I guess.
33 and its affected relationships, friendships and I feel like is destroying my life. There is no counting to ten when this happens to me. It builds up to an explosive outburst before I realise the anger has already consumed me. I'd have to go into another room and let it all out.
I went to the doctor again trying to seek help for this amongst other things, and then we had covid upon us so hopefully I'll be able to get sorted with some therapy or treatment soon.
Very common also for me after a violent temper (especially if someone bears witness and quite frankly can be frightening to be around) to immediately feel unbearable guilt and I'll blubber and wail and feel extremely suicidal from the guilt.
Like the story of how the nails being taken out of the fence still leave holes, I know the damage my anger does.
I'm sick and tired of it. I don't know if mindfulness and meditation can help, I'll try anything.
Thank you for this video.
This channel is such a gem much love brotha.
One of my Favs, too.
I got a lot out of this video thank you! If you're being messed with by someone, there is a fine line between drawing a boundary and not being angry or becoming angry & losing control where you could really do something that you would really regret your entire life. I love how your videos highlight the similarities between stoicism and Buddhism.
" grasping at anger is like picking up a pieace of burning coal with the intent to harm another, you will be the one in the end burned " - Buddha
He posted this quote on instagram and pointed out it's a good quote. But that it is fake, and not the buddha who said it.
just so you know
@@tobiaslid8752 oh? link?^^ and yes I also knew it was fake. it not literally but in a similar way. the point is still the same.
" grasping at anger is like picking up a pieace of burning coal with the intent to harm another, you will be the one in the end burned " - Someone, sometime
Hey, I'm angry, why is there another my name around?
I really , honestly needed this today. It is always a constant battle in my mind, sadly anger wins more often than not. I will be taking all this into account. Thanks man
Anger was my oldest and truest companion. Far from a friend, yet always there.
It protected me from a horrible childhood and unfortunately became my defining trait for 20 years.
I tried everything but only stoicism has helped and now my anger, once volcanic and explosive, is now a calm but wild animal. Resting while I deal with life in a rational and assertive manner
I specifically needed this today. I lost my temper the past couple days and it's against who I really am. Thank you
You videos Einzelganger are really helping me get through some unexpected and tough times in my life. I can usually deal but even strength has it's weaknesses. Thank you.
Thanks!
Thank you, Robert!
The quotes mentioned in this video are ones I'd print out or write down in my journal, as a reminder when I'm getting furious and resentful. It's such a helpful antidote to reasoning out my emotions while not ignoring it and letting that be until it subsides. Thank you.
People always say “anger comes from a place of weakness” as if this is somehow bad. Any self interest or self preservation comes from a place of weakness.
Why is weakness not bad?
@@spurdsy weakness = incompetence
Probably my favorite video that I've watched on this channel. Well done.
Thank you!
I have acknowledged that part of my shadow is immense anger. The Army made it worse by teaching me to harness my rage to be a better "door-kicker" and "name-taker". I know that once I start cursing, as only a paratrooper can (probably sailors too), I have lost control of the runaway train of hate. That is why now I am extremely patient and courteous. That is why I now walk away when reason fails to change the situation. I walk away because I no longer wish to keep drinking the poison of my hatred. It is there, it is always there. However, I chose which seeds I nourish and allow to germinate in my consciousness, and which ones I neglect and keep dormant. Thank you again for such wonderful content...peace.
Thanks for teaching me how to not tilt.
Anger is nothing but a hindrance. It occupies your mind and has a tendency to be self-reinforcing. You'll only use a fraction of your mental capacities when you are prone to anger!
My anger problems are the worst I've ever seen or heard of. I have to change, and this video helps.
"Sometimes it's better to count to 100."
Absolutely. Thank you yet again.
I feel like this came at the perfect time. Your channel is so valuable. Thank you so much.
Good video! My take away from this is more or less, "reason can always substitute the feeling of anger". This is not to suggest that angry feelings are invalid, but in terms of expression of that initial feeling, reason can always be substituted for a healthier outcome, both internally and externally.
Throughout my life I have learn that anger is a useful emotion no matter what others say I have experienced situation where it is genuinely useful
These videos always open up new methods of dealing with our human condition. I love the idea that when one admits they are angry, it goes a long way to defusing the present state of anger.
Grown man here, couldn't control my tears at the nail story after realising how I may have affected people with my anger :')
Amazing video. Thank you for bringing this to us and for all your work. Keep it going 👊
Anger IS USEFUL!!! Redirected and focused anger is a tremendous motivating force for positive motives and goals
Anger is useful but hatred is destructive, if you are angry you can still have all the credibility and legitemacy of the world you had when you were at mental peace, but with hatred you are becoming what you once insulted and humiliated, those condradictions are burning you inside, because they're roots are nothing more and nothing less than culpability and responsibility, the two things that can ruin a life almost eternally.
I literally screamed in the middle of the street today because I just can't stand being constantly surrounded by rude noisy people any more. I hate living in a city because no matter where you are or what time of day it is you can always hear someone or see someone and I'm so fed up of constantly being around other people that I literally feel fury when I see another person. And when people do rude things like not looking up from their phone on a narrow pavement and nearly walking into me I'm honestly getting to the point where I want to scream and swear at them or even hurt them. I needed this video so thanks. I think I will try and arrange weekly trips away from the city and I'm also thinking of seeking counselling. I started waking up very early as well so that I can at least get a break from my housemates while I'm at home. I feel like I'm going mad.
You need a vacation.
This channel is a lifesaver! Service to humanity! Thank you so much!
I love this video; it changed my life. With it, I learned that anger diminishes my ability to be logical. I also learned that anger is a choice.
I have never seen such a calming video on anger. Superb.
I watched anger tear me away from someone I cared deeply about. My biggest fear is resenting how my effort to help this person will make me resentful. Great video.
Thanks for Portuguese subtitles. From northeast Brazil . Great video.
Thank you 🙏🏼 need this a lot right now. I almost got into a huge physical fight at a futsal match the other day, even tHough it was their fault, I had started it with my anger, and almost ended extremely violently for me and my friends.
ANOTHER great one! Dealing with bosses that lose their temper a lot and that makes ME angry. All very good advice and insight!
ive been so caught up in anger that i push the people i love the most away
great content. wold love to see more content like this
Anger is really sadness that doesn’t know itself. It’s sadness in disguise.
How about "a rejection of sadness"? (I'm not sure. I'm asking)
No wrong, anger is fear and anxiety turned outwardly.
Speak when you are angry and you'll make the best speech that you'll ever regret.
Part of the reason I get angry is PRECISELY bc I try to talk , explain, reason etc and it purposefully gets ignored, belittled etc. Then when I loose my patience I get blamed for their discomfort and I get their “hot” or “cold” anger. It’s an unfair cycle. Something is missing in this stoicism. It’s too easy to just overlook the origin story.
YES 100% - I think a lot of feminist philosophers also emphasize the importance of anger because ignoring women's reasoning and boundaries and standards is a pretty pervasive cultural norm. I think oppressed people often also can repress reason in order to remain conflict-free in oppressive circumstances, but it's much harder repressing anger.
From u.k.
I hear you!
I’m 66 now, and my dad used to say LISTEN
TO EVERYONES POINT OF VIEW!
you might learn something.
My wife of 40 yrs, is a very quiet person.
But when she expresses her opinion it’s
Usually the way to go!
Take care.
I have high anxiety which causes high agitation. I am a lot better bc of mediation, deep breathing throughout the day, and knowing you can only control yourself. Good video bro
5:32 on the right really needed to go easy with his anger on the drones button...
Love your Channel!
That was an excellent, well-thought-out presentation.
This channel saved my life.
These videos are really helpful.... thank you so much for sharing ♡ I listen while I'm doing my housework or knitting.... and am really learning a lot.
Before watching this video:
Anger is inevitable, like pain.
Resentment is optional, like suffering.
This couldn’t have come at a better time!!!!!! Thank you!
This helped a lot, to gain a better perspective and how in some ways to move forward - from a place of power balanced by some considerations to shape a new desired outcome, constructed logically with regards to everyone involved. Not just me. It’s easy to get angry when we only consider ourselves and our immediate setting.
I am new to this channel and i've recently watched a lot of your older videos. I love them...so calming and i learned so much useful stuff.
Andrei Balan Welcome aboard brother, I hope you enjoy your time with us
I found anger to be completely useless. It gains U nothing but heartache. I always said people are enraged when their expectations are not met. ‘Try to reason with love & U will lose your reason’ .. This video is surely the truth !!
These videos are just awesome, man. It's Iike the voice of reason for a lot of us.
Weeks ago, someone commented on Google's Algorithms. Seriously, my personal belief is that only we, ourselves, can make ourselves whole. Google's Algorithms have provided me with all the Doctors, Therapists, Coaches, Philosophers, Gurus, and Healers needed to examine my feelings, past, present and future. And they have given me a full understanding of economics, corruption, etc. So with their help I have healed myself into self acceptance, health, peace of mind, and often times, happiness. And I'm a lot smarter than I was 20 years ago. All it takes is time, energy and the will to put all the pieces together. I have been to hell and back, however. Explaining one's self and one's life to someone else may get us started on our journey to wellness, but, in my opinion, only we can wrap it up ourselves because time and money are difficult to come by.
6:35 he is absolutely, unequivocally correct. Professional fighters, granted there are rare exceptions, DO NOT strive to get into the ring angry. Yes, public is given a “hype show” at weigh-in’s etc. but the analogy that fighting from a position of anger is like fighting under the influence is spot on.
Please get ahold of a copy of the book, “The Cow in the Parking Lot.” If you ONLY read the first two chapters and carry that thought with you it will pay for the book many times over. Very quick read.
Wonderful words. Many thanks. God bless you for the wisdom your channel brings to the souls of the world.
I love this channel
I feel like being scolded for the right reasons thank you for this
This is really an amazing channel. Every video is a jewell. Thank you so much!
I have also noticed that after a quarrel, or when I felt angry, soon some unfortunate incidents was happening to me, like small injuries, something was broken in the house, etc. It seems like when in anger you create an opening so the evil slips in to your reality. Have somebody also noticed such consequences?
Danke. This video could not have come at a better time (for me). Brilliant stuff. I'm proud to be a sub of yours and share the information as much as I can. Thanks again!💙
I love your voice, it’s so calming
I teared up at the end of the Nail story, Thank you for helping.
This philosophy can also apply to things like indulgence to bad habits/actions. To identify it as just a need for momentary pleasure , and to become the observer of the emotion rather than the absorber. Something I try to practice whenever my fleshy instincts try to overcome my reasoning or desire to become a better me. Or rather , my “true” self. Idk I’m ranting at this point , much love to the person reading this. May the universe work in your favor 🌝🤍
The illusion of anger making me stronger took a long time for me to dismiss.
Anger is common in ignorance and in a broken heart
When we truly let go we see it all
The way I deal with anger is, during the situation, take deep breaths, go away from the environment/thing that is causing me anger and then write my feelings and thoughts in a journal. When I finnish writing I even feel a energy or a force go away
You are a great dude ... I love philosophy and stoicism, your videos are very educational for personal development
Thanks, Peter!
From Brasil 👋, CONTEÚDO FANTÁSTICO ! ❤️❤️❤️
Better to be angry than anxious, like the saying goes "it's better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in war"
nice haven't heard that before
I don't even know what that means but I am with you breh
For a warrior, objectivity and compassion are superior tools to anger, imho. Self discipline and anger do not go hand in hand.
Wouldn't it seem, a properly disciplined human could either wreak havoc or cultivate order, as the conditions of life demand?
I really enjoyed the father and son lesson about anger. Going to use that withy daughter. Really good
Your videos have helped my mental state so much over the lockdown, much appreciated 👍
i just whant to give thanks for your great book Unoffendable: The Art of Thriving in a World Full of Jerks i lean a lot of this book
Mastering anger 😠 changed my life for the better. Daily practice works.
All emotions are valuable, it's time to teach people how to manage their feelings, emotional intelligence is called.
Anger is a gift If you know how to channel it. Early-stage of Anger comes from unfair situations, so we need to acknowledge what triggered that feeling and do something about it. Resentment is a result of suppressing your Anger, and with time it can lead to Violence.
Also, as you pointed out in this video, each individual has its own interest, and I found myself in situations that I had to unleash my Anger because there were people with zero interest in dealing with me in a reasonable way. Patience doesn't last forever if you don't see a sign of change.
Anger help me out of a depression when I was 21.... without realizing ... I progressively transformed it into a successful business now I'm feel blessed running it
How? Did you change your habits?
When I get angry or "Hulk" out, it chases my depression away and I am incredibly energized. However, I pay for it later in exhaustion.
@@kyupified2440 I focused all my energy into studying how to startup a business... without hope, nor clients, nor expertise, I had nothing to lose, "I will not get away alive from this life" I used to say.
I decided to make a great ending ... leaving behind my suicidal tendencies..
As John Smith replied... exhaustion came every night ... but .. and all the people I met, give me my purpose in life: serving others through my developed talents.
That's great man
@@Einzelgänger you work is awesome brother, I'm certaint your channel attracts the very best of human beings
Zen stories or calming books helped me with anger. I recommend a small book called Nisshitsu. Its only 70 pages long.
I stumbled in this video for the love of stoicism.This is very much helpful for me 😘