Remember in Tabula Rasa when Willow and Tara instantly feel a romantic connection between them even without their memories, Spike and Buffy too had great chemistry and Buffy and Dawn fell like family to each other despite not remembering their own names, yet Anya and Xander had no underlying feelings without their memories 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
I think it was really smart of the show to not tell us what the demon did to get punished. It's easy to assume that he was a horrible person that got what he deserved but we know that not all of Anya's victims deserved it. Cordelia was mean but she definitely didn't deserve that wish Anya granted.
This episode is heartbreaking for so many reasons. I'm not necessarily defending Xander but I do think there are a couple points to be made (ok maybe I'm d,defending Xander a little bir) 1. We tend to forget just how young the characters are because of the nature of the show, but they're very young without a lot of relationship experience 2. This episode does a great job of showing what Xander's family life was like growing up. It was always hinted at but this episode really shows why what the spell showed his was his worst nightmare. How parents weren't actual demons, just very human ones who grew to make each other miserable. They didn't kill each other, they just destroyed each other's souls. That's what Xander has to model. There are no examples of healthy relationships around him. Buffy's mom was divorced. Buffy loved Angel but he literally turned evil because of it. And her weird relationship with Spike is har.ful, especially in Sender's eyes. The on!y adult male he ever really had a role model was Giles, who had 1 girlfriend that died & NO OTHER romantic relationship. Even Willow & Tara. Willow was so desperate to keep Tara, she used magic...became addicted. One could argue that he had to know relationships can work. Even fictional characters live in a world with pop culture, but honestly, TV & movies show a lot more of the relationships that go wrong. And the ones that succeed often seem too easy & fake. Xander has nothing to use as a role model for true love, other than sacrificing yourself. He's afraid, not just for himself, but for Anya in the future. And not that he'd kill her. But even worse, that he'd make her life a slow, miserable existence. Ok. Believe me. I'm furious at him that he let it go this far. Furious that Anya is so heartbroken. It's so painful to watch because you want Xander to be stronger. To fight for the loving marriage & relationship they could have. But time has also given me more perspective that it's very rare not to have 2 sides.
I think it was really smart of the show to not tell us what the demon did to get punished. It's easy to assume that he was a horrible person that got what he deserved but we know that not all of Anya's victims deserved it. Cordelia was mean but she definitely didn't deserve that wish Anya granted.
I understand Xander here and I think his fears are realistic in a way that a lot of shows wouldn't get into. A man genuinely being afraid of turning into his abusive father is very real, especially when you've been living with him your whole life and no one has ever been able to escape the situation. This issue specifically through Xander's eyes/world view would be different than from someone who always had a safe home. The problem, in my opinion, is they never explored this up until now. It's been clear since early Buffy that he comes from a broken and abusive home (Cordelia mentioning he spends Christmas outside to avoid his family's drunken fights, his nightmares about his dad in Season 4, etc) but it was written in a way that rarely ever clearly colored his actions/character. His decision here would make a lot more sense if he'd been dealing with these fears since before the proposal or at least all of season 6 but because they just now decided to tackle this subject it just doesn't work. Whenever I rewatch this show I keep thinking of how much it fails Xander and what he could have been if he'd been written by someone other than Joss (who has stated many times Xander is his self-insert character.) In my opinion, Xander should have been a genuine big brother figure (I'm actually fine with him liking and being rejected by Buffy in season 1, but then it should have ended instead of it tainting his judgement of her decisions for the rest of the show), and honestly a real representative of the working class could have been powerful in this world where everyone seems to be solidly middle class or above. Xander dealing with being from an abusive home from, like, season 2 would have strengthened all of his existing storylines (being triggered by Angelus, his empathy for Faith and pain at being used by her, dealing with not being able to afford college and being trapped in a dangerous living situation, his attempts to pull himself out of poverty, his inferiority complex, etc.) I think they tried to go for a lot of these things but because they never gave his traumas and struggles the weight they deserved it just doesn't read a lot of the time. What could have been deep dives into real issues are often treated as jokes or they make him overly jealous/judgmental purely to advance plot (him literally walking out of the shadows to preach to Buffy about Riley in season 5 anyone?). He's supposed to be the heart of the group and that could have been SO MUCH clearer with honestly just a few tweaks and maybe ditching a few monster of the week eps for Xander eps. Like what if his reaction to Angelus in season 2 wasn't treated like "I've always been jealous of Buffy's boyfriend and now I feel vindicated in being right about him" but as "I know what gaslighting and abuse is and how blind you can be when the abusers are close to you and this guy is seriously dangerous for my friend who needs help." Or what if they made it clear the few times he made really harmful decisions (like cheating on Cordelia) and then aggressively tried to immediately shrug off the blame that it came from a real fear of being wrong being tied to painful punishment or detachment issues from childhood? In a way it's linked to my other big issue: the fact that no one tried to help Faith in season 3 and just let her live poor in a rundown hotel after knowing she has no support system and carried the trauma of watching her last watcher get tortured and murdered in front of her. If the show really made good on their comments about Xander's home life, I assume they would have to also address why no one made an attempt to get him to a safer environment when they absolutely had the resources to. Basically all the pieces were there and I even think the actor could have pulled it off. It's just sad these things weren't explored/realistically affected Xander's character from the beginning. He does things that just don't make sense for someone from his background and I hate that they use his inconsistency to often make him the one who does something intensely judgmental/vindictive just to advance plot because they couldn't write their way into a better way of connecting points A and B. /end essay, lol
Essay, indeed. Well said. I wonder, though, how many people from such (borderline) abusive homes put on a game face even with friends, so we wouldn't see his trauma unless we explored him at home. It's buried deep, but comes out roaring when he's faced with becoming what he despises. (I call it borderline abusive; it's emotionally problematic but not physically dangerous. Both are bad but in different ways, and the two should not be conflated.)
@@menachemsalomon I honestly head canon this for the show as it currently stands and think it may even have been what some of the writers were going for. I also think that would be the most realistic way Xander would react (as opposed to how I wish it would be addressed with having him helped by his friends), but I do wish we as the audience saw more, including seeing more of him actually at home or repressing these things when alone. I think it would have helped people get him more. I also do genuinely think this is abuse. I can't believe with the abject fear he shows of his dad in the dream ep that he wasn't physically beaten at some point and his dad was straight up publicly verbally and mentally abusive to his wife while clearly a raging alcoholic. I may be reading too much into it, but this episode honestly made me so sad for Xander and scared of what he's been going through the entire show.
Pretty much all of this. I would have given Anything to see more of Xander and Willows home life in particular. If Angel can have flashbacks, why not them and Faith for that matter.
@@barbarabaker1457 Agreed. I mean I LOVE the show and I know it's easy to say this looking back, you know? But Willow, Xander, and definitely Faith all had some messed up things mentioned about their home lives (even the one time we met Willow's mom it was clear she was pretty neglectful. Doesn't mean it traumatized Willow or anything but she had a lot to go through and it weirdly made me feel more for her in "Dead Man's Party" when she told Buffy she had no one to talk to.) It would have been cool to see and experience.
@@SecondBreakfastClub I don't know why that made me cry but it did. Thanks and you're right A lot is retrospect and I'm sure a lot of this was a time issue and this needs to happen XX&X but everything can be improved Even brilliant things like this show and it would have been nice.
A best friend she either emotional blackmails into marriage when she bothers to notice he has issues with getting married or just doesn't care to notice unless his issues delay things.
@@ronaldfasshauer4390 That’s not fair to say about Anya trying to blackmail him. Xander asked her to marry him and made her believe in his love and commitment to her. She initially thought he only asked her because the end of the world was coming and Xander said he was sure of their love. Turns out Anya was right and he broke her heart in the end.
One thing about this episode is that it's very clearly showing Xander's insecurities about his family, and how his life and Anya's fit together, and the chaos of the wedding is a reflection of that. My problem is, why were all of those people invited? I don't care if they're Xander's family, he clearly hates them, and they clearly have no respect for him. Meanwhile, Anya's side, the demons. While it's an interesting thing, showing that she is trying to live her own life, there was no indication before the wedding planning that she still had contact with them. She seemed to have made a clean break from her old life, until this season, and iit was only in the context of the wedding. It just seems like the wedding was filled with the worst possible combination, without any real believable reasons within the story
Once again Xander gives into his insecurities and lets them overtake his life. He was manipulated into feeling like he was doing what’s best for Anya by preying on his worst fears and insecurities. I wish he was strong enough to realize that Anya loved him for him and they could figure it out together. Very sad
Yeah, I totally agree but I also realize that Xander comes from a dysfunctional and abusive household and family and when you have trauma like that you need therapy. Xander has the potential to pass that same pathology down through generations until he decides to break the cycle. His reasons behind his insecurities are valid but he has to recognize them and then be strong enough to fight against them.
@@88jl I think despite his many flaws that Xander has a good heart. He continues to screw up and give in to his insecurities. I agree a lot of it comes from his home life. I’m obviously devastated for Anya in this episode but it doesn’t make me hate Xander. I really do feel for him and knowing that he’s a good guy at heart makes me wish that he could be stronger and better. He for sure needs therapy.
Another episode that shows how fricking talented & underused Emma Caulfield is! She obviously has killer comedic timing but whenever she’s given heavier/emotional material she always knocks it out of the damn park!! (Ex: The Body, Hells Bells & more to comeee!)
I think it was really smart of the show to not tell us what the demon did to get punished. It's easy to assume that he was a horrible person that got what he deserved but we know that not all of Anya's victims deserved it. Cordelia was mean but she definitely didn't deserve that wish Anya granted.
this an episode that's even harder on rewatch, especially listening to Anya practicing her vows when you know how it ends. I hate Xander for what he did here. He had these doubts long before this point and could spoken up at any time but he waits until now? Plus he leaves Anya to tell everyone? It just came off as cowardly. However, when you see him look at his father screaming at his mother it's hard to not understand why he can't go through with it. He was afraid of himself and what he could be and didn't want to hurt Anya more in the long run.
Oof. It always gets me when they get to the hospital and she tells Buffy " I wish Joyce didn't die." The only wish she ever made on the show not for herself.
@@MackenzieRayneActress You made a lot of really good points. Felt a little bad for Kyle though not getting to put anything in, but this is all fresher for you so it's fine. Personally I didn't mind Xander deciding the marriage probably wasn't going to work. He had good reasons to be worried about hurting her in the long run (and possibly more people if they had children) as you said. What was inexcusable was not being man enough to walk down the aisle and face the music beside her with them both announcing it was off. Either it was heartbreaking.
@@9ansean Anya walking down that aisle was performative, she was under no obligation to do that she could have just left found Xander and smacked the hell out of him. Instead she went for the drama.
I get being mad at Xander in this moment but really, this thing preyed on his deepest, darkest insecurities and fears :( Remember that turning out like his parents, never really being able to escape his family (and now, it turns out, not being able to escape the cycle of abuse - physical and of alcohol) is something we see from way, way back, and it's highlighted in Restless. The problem is, now there'd be another person affected by all of that. Now there'd be someone he'd hurt and someone he'd drag down with him. Through everything that's been happening, it was easy to look beyond his fears but they were never really overcome. Xander has always thought horribly of himself, but to have this shown to him, whether real or not, reminds him that this could happen. Reminds him that he's /sure/ that this will happen. I get feeling so horrified at what feels like a very real possibility that you'll hurt the person you love the most, or just make them eternally unhappy u.u
I can see in your faces the pain when Spike and Buffy have their moment, it's a beautiful but bittersweet moment. They are so damn cute! But it hurts. Spuffy is a relationship you don't want to love (for all the moral issues you want to put there) but at the same time you can't stop yourself. We feels for them. Deeply. Really. It comes with great actors and great writers.
My favourite part of this episode is Anya practicing her vows - she's so pure, warm, and brimming with love and happiness, and when you know how the episode is gonna end, that scene is heartbreaking. (That vision of the future is so obviously fake, like Anya would be anything but a successful businesswoman, come on. Yes, it plays perfectly on Xander's insecurities.)
Anya is my favourite. So naturally I hate seeing her in pain in this ep from a character standpoint. But from a narrative/writing standpoint FINALLY Anya (Emma Caulfield) is given her OWN storylines from here on out & there is great stuff ahead!! Finally they stop defining her soely through her relationship w/ Xander. She’s such an interesting character played by a fabulous actress who always had more potential than the material(or lack there of) she was given in the story.
i feel like i'm the only who thinks that, but i felt sorry for Xander. Yes, he left Anya right before the wedding. Yes, Anya finally learned to open her heart after thinking that love and healthy relationships are impossible, and always mixing love with hate and violence, But so is Xander. And unlike Anya, that seem to get that from terrible relationships that she had, he got since he was born, from his parents. No one really taught him how to handle a relationship, how to treat a girl (we can see it clearly since the begining of the show). And he didn't purposely lied to Anya to he can let it go, he lied to himself.
Ok so if you have commitment issues/ trouble in relationships DON’T propose at the age of 22. He also had the whole season to back out, especially after Once More With Feeling.
I hate xander for what he did but I kinda understand. They built this for several seasons, they always hint that there is something very wrong with his family, we see that a lot in his dream in restless where he is afraid of his father and turning into his father. The demon showed his greatest fear basically. He was trying to ignore that fear but it ended up being too much. It is so sad cause he was a jerk, but I get it after watching all the character development. And xander and anya can be such a sweet couple, i just love anya so much. This episode hurts
Plus it was implied he was at Buffy's final battle, which didn't go well where he got badly hurt, and wasn't able to help. Probably hobbled along just long enough watched her die too. Failure as a friend, failure to provide for his family, then possibly killing Anya. It's a big pile of bricks to drop on someone who is 21 and already had confidence issues.
Xander doesn't want to end up an abusive drunk like his dad, he doesn't want to kill Anya, he doesn't want to make her miserable. I can only imagine how it felt to witness his biggest fears played out, even finding out it wasn't real that is going to leave a mark. I would say that the fact that he and Anya cant talk about their fears (without music truth serum) means they probably wouldn't have had a healthy marriage, except they are only 21 and were surrounded by people in a very stressful situation. I think this episode is tragic
I feel like even though it is really shitty timing, Xander not marrying her with the doubts he had was better than ignoring them and marrying her anyway. He clearly had issues he needs to work through in regards to his own abusive upbringing before he's ready for a future with Anya.
This episode also speaks to theme of the Sixth Season, "Oh, Grow Up." Everyone is dealing with the difficulties of the realities of being a Grown-up and with Anya and Xander, it is the thing of "Oh, we are in love, we should get Married" which unfortunately, a lot of people, in their Twenties, believe they are ready for. I am Thirty-Five, I thought I was ready for Marriage at Eighteen, I am glad, I didn't get married then, I still think there are a lot of people, that aren't right for Marriage, this episode just added Monsters and Magic in the equation and add to that we as Human Beings are not the most rational people in the world especially in our Twenties, that is why Xander did what he did, the way he did, walking out on Anya.
I understand why Xander thought what he was doing was a good thing, but there was so many other options that I don't really respect him for his choice. He didn't talk to Anya about the insecurities over the wedding he was feeling since Halloween and he made Anya walk the aisle to announce the wedding was off. Like always, everything was done on his terms and not talking to her, or anyone, bit him. He was used by the demon. I think the true problem is that, despite me having no love for Xander, all his issue stem from his horrible home life. I just don't think it gives him the excuse to do the things he has done for nearly six seasons from his anger management problems to cheating to making other people's decisions for them to not talking to Anya about relationship issues. In some ways he has always been like his father in that regard. Marrying Anya could have helped him veer away from that. And any fallout over walking away could be somewhat on his shoulders. Also, despite his fears Xander should be questioning whether or not what he saw was even real after being a member of the Scoobies for so long. Mackenzie was right when she said what he saw was one perspective/"side of things." This is a bottom barrell episode for me. It usually has me more bored and annoyed than sad, which is frustrating as I know I should feel sad.
Right there with you with the boredom part. Other than for a few funny,quirky moments. About the only thing I do remember about it is,of course,Xander leaving Anya. Lame.
@@TheBloobster I am not a fan of his. I will always admit that freely and never disputed it, but I also don't bad mouth him in every comment on Buffy as I react to Buffy reactions daily. lol.
I think that you underestimate the ways that a person can be damages from growing up in an abusive home like Xander. I truly wish that he had made different choices but I can also see why he simply cannot even see that there are other choices, his upbringing have blinded him.
@@Henrik_Holst And that is why I said I understood, but I don't think he sees it as the reason he acts that way so much as uses it as the excuse to do so. A great example is Tara. She grew up damaged from an abusive home as well. She became everything Xander isn't under the same circumstances. Yes, damage is done in those situations, but considering how much time Xander spends in the company of people not his biological relatives, he should have been learning how not to act that way, much like Tara quit her stuttering under the Scoobies friendship. Xander thrives on these "red flags" (as Makenzie called them in an earlier video) instead of learning how not to act like his father.
I think Xander knew he wasn't ready to get married from the time he asked her, but I also think he was hoping that by the time the wedding got there he would be. I really think he WANTED to marry her, but because of his insecurities, fears, and that crazy shiz happening with the demon, he just never got there. Like, he kept hoping he'd wake up and feel OK about it so he didn't have to break her heart, but it just never happened. If I were him, I wouldn't have gone through with the wedding either. That being said, I would have talked to her about this a long time ago. For a couple as close as they are, he still keeps too much to himself. I feel for him, but I feel for her far more. I do believe walking away was the right thing for him to do... it's just unfortunately, and his own fault, that it got to that point in the first place.
I never liked Xander, but this episode made me HATE him. I can understand where he's coming from (his parents seem to be an abusive relationship and he can see history repeating itself), but he should have not let Anya on and toyed with her feelings like.
@@christianschoff2490 That was sarcasm, there was a scene earlier in the season before they had told anyone they are getting married and she calls him a scared little boy for not wanting to tell anyone. She knew, she just was in love with the idea of getting married.
@@ronaldfasshauer4390 That's not at all the same. That's him keeping it a secret from their friends not talking to his fiance about his fears about the future and his family's issues.
I think Xander doesnt know how to see a loving marriage happend. He quits, not because of selfish reasons, but because he legits fears for Anya. For all he knows, marriage is the worst thing ever, for a relationship. He is being reminded of this in no small part thanks to the dynamic of his parents. Still... If he was a very mature person, he would have been honest with Anya about his genuine fears a long time ago. However he is not mature. He is Bart Simpson.
I suppose it's getting redundant at this point to say "Another great reaction!" but, it really was. This is a pretty strong episode, but it's just so sad that it can't be a favorite - even if it has one of my favorite Buffy and Spike conversations of all time. The faces at the behavior of some of the Harrises - both well-deserved and pretty hilarious. And Mackenzie is great in the post-show breakdown, explaining both Anya's situation and her reaction to it. And yes, you should be mad at Xander. Very, very mad at Xander. In my opinion, this is the worst thing he's done in five and a half seasons of the show. He'd have to do something very, very great to even begin to make up for it....
I don't hate neither Anya nor Xander, I actually like them both... and maybe I'm defending Xander a bit although what he did was absolutely horrible and shouldn't be done to anybody specially not to the person you swear you love... but Anya did absolutely terrible things to men for a thousand years (we just didn't get to see them but they were done and I bet she felt really proud of herself because of it) !! I don't know but they say things eventually come back to you so... Destiny just did it's thing.
The thing I hate about this episode is that (for me at least) despite everything that goes on in this ep, Xander breaking off the wedding seems to come out of nowhere. If they just somehow expressed how Xander could see that his future with Anya would end up as broken as the rest of his families I think it would have worked better, but that all only really gets expressed when Xander outright says it in the end, but we/I don't really see it or feel it. And I'm sure that's what they were going for but somehow, none of the stuff happening with Xander's family seems to affect him like that. I don't know why. I don't know, maybe if it didn't have the guy seeking revenge in the story and just purely focused on the families, if it was just an otherwise ordinary story that just happened to take place in a world with demons, and Xander sees his future in his parents (rather than literally, sort of) maybe then his decision wouldn't seem so unmotivated.
I used to agree but after rewatching this year, It’s not completely out of nowhere. We’ve been given hints throughout the show that Xander’s family life is dysfunctional and is scared of his father (S3 Amends and S4 Restless to name a couple). And we’ve had no real time for Xander to directly face the insecurity that he might not be ready to enter a relationship without seeing how that’s traumatized him and how he sees himself in a relationship. I read an amazing comment that said (and I paraphrase) “We can understand his insecurities and why he made the decision he did, but the point of insecurities is to overcome them and Xander never did”. Had there been time dedicated to Xander becoming more secure that he’s not his father, yeah this breakup wouldn’t be very justified. But we NEVER got to see Xander get over his personal demons and I think we need to remember, as people who have gone through different experiences, that we’re not in the character’s circumstances.
Kyle, I love your subtle tear wipes. I bawl whenever I watch this episode. Mackenzie, your outfit/look is total Faith vibes, and that is awesome! Man, both of you at the end of this video... I’m *still* crying.
After popular demand, we finally got Buffy 6x15 - the YT edit, up at Patreon. Delay due to pandemic and holiday delay. So much for hoping YT would unblock it! www.patreon.com/posts/buffy-unblocked-45080106
You completely missed the point with xander, the vision of the future was only part of the issue, the biggest thing that backed his fear was his parents marriage and knowing he could turn out like his father. This has been an issue for him throughout the season but actually this is one of the few times he's had to spend a fair amount of time with his disfunctional dad. The orb wasn't his nightmare future scenario, his dad was
My theory. I don't think Burns showed Xander a done movie but rather an interactive illusion based on Xander's fears about the future. Also I am actually not blaming Xander for getting cold feet on the level of sub zero as if you count in my theory about the false vision and how his family makes the Bundys from Married With Children look like a model family. Hell enven the Mansons were pretty much well adjusted compared to Xander's family.
I love Anya and feel bad for her so mych in this episode. She really loved him and I think he loved her. I get that his family is abusive and I wish they would have covered that more in the past but he should have communicated with her earlier if he wasn't ready.
I hated this episode so much. It goes against Xander's entire character that he's had since the pilot. He gets scared but goes ahead anyway. Wanting to rescue Jesse in the pilot. Being the first to overcome his fear and punch out the killer clown when everyones fears were manifesting. The Zeppo episode.All because of (pretty much) every TV shows 'No Happy Couples' rule. Relationships are only good and stable if they are off screen. As soon you see people happy, that's your warning cuz next episode we're breaking them up(or killing one of them) I get that stories need conflict, but how about one they face together? Lazy writing >:(
This will forever be one of my least favorite episodes. Not only did it shit on Anya and Xander as a couple but, it was too close to home in my own toxic family life. I watch TV shows and movies to *escape* the kind of misery this episode represents.
Blaming Xander is easy. His character is 21 at this point. His father has been a huge influence up until this point. He knows how bad relationships can get. This is the guy that slept outside on holidays because whenever his family gathered it was a train wreck. That kind of emotional scarring does not disappear when you fall in love, in many ways it deepens.
Episode count is not really a spoiler. There are 7 seasons of _Buffy_ and 5 of _Angel,_ each with the standard 22 episodes except for S1 of _Buffy,_ which only has 12. That's a total of 254 episodes, but that doesn't count all the rewatches. Make it an even 500, then. (Plus 14 of _Firefly,_ 26 of _Dollhouse,_ 3 of _Dr. Horrible,_ _Serenity,_ etc.)
I just hate that the writers couldn't even give us one happy episode where this long-time couple gets to tie the knot. Xander knew this was just 1 day in the rest of their lives and having seen what missteps he might take he can avoid those. Season 6 continues to suck the life out of our characters.
I don't understand. Almost every reactor has the same reaction of anger towards Xander. He is literally the kid who grew up in an abusive alcoholic family. He grew up thinking fighting is the norm. Maybe I'm projecting a bit of myself but I find it kinda sexist that Xander gets hate for getting emotionally manipulated after a lifetime of a abusive family and somehow Anya is a victim? I'm not saying Anya did anything wrong but if Anya was the one to call off the wedding I guarantee any reactor would have said "well if it doesn't feel right it doesn't feel right so maybe wait" I just don't understand how anyone has any anger towards Xander. Neither of them voiced their concerns, they had a song about it, but being shown your greatest fear minutes before your wedding has to be nerve racking PS: one thing no one ever points out in the vision is that Buffy dies. Hearing that I think affected him as well
@@ronaldfasshauer4390 Yes, I suppose she could have just pulled a Xander and taken off, and leave it to someone else to explain that the wedding is off. It would be pretty consistent with the Scoobies behavior this season to expect Buffy to take care of that, too.
@@lkw7482 No what I mean is that scene of Anya in her wedding dress walking down the entire length of the aisle saying the weddings off was emotional theatre she chose to perform. Anybody could have annouced the wedding is off once and told people to leave, hell they would have figured it out themselves when the wedding didn't happen. Also its not like its against the law not to a dramatic annoucement your not getting married.
@@ronaldfasshauer4390 Yes, that was an unfortunately melodramatic choice on the part of the creative team. But, since we have to deal with it in-universe: from the dazed look on her face, I don't really think she's making much in the way of conscious decisions at all at that point. And even if she is, I guess I'm just not as bothered by it as you - even if we blame that part of public humiliation on herself, the near-totality of the end of this episode - including running away from the woman he'll later claim to still love, not just the guests - is on Xander.
2:38 This episode screws up a Lot in terms of execution, and his unhappy endings became cliche but that was an interesting thing I never noticed and of course many nice moments in it as well. Especially none of the characters ability to communicate. There's usually one or two good communicators in a real group to keep people from doing crap like this all the time. Can't say any episode I think was 100% bad and there are many small, pleasant moments in this one: 3:50, 4:34. Also Xanders family sucks. Glad you're a romantic. And my thoughts are elsewhere in the section but I liked your thoughts tho more mad at Whedon than Xander as the leaving like that, as you said, didn't make sense. I've actually never found him unpredictable which is why this was weird for me. Edit anywho thanks for a great reaction as always.
Not sure there was time, seems several things were glossed over for plot needs. He obviously sucked before becoming her victim and an argument could be made on that as well. Maybe this needed to be a 2 parter? It just felt rushed.
@@barbarabaker1457 In Into the Woods Anya joked about making a person combust before setting his whole village on fire. Until Selfless in S7 her Vegence demon past has always been played for laughs on the show
@@geraintthatcher3076 It's been played for laughs since the episode she took an interest in Xander, partly because it's that kind of world and partly because she herself doesn't see it, anymore than Spike does, like she doesn't quite know how her soul works yet. She's a lot like Xander Blind in certain respects, remarkable vision in the others. But if you recall she was quite scary all the way up through the return of vamp Willow. There's a reason Willow and her have issues, one being she has changed but it's difficult to see from the outside because she has this exact disconnect. It's a personality flaw, one of many and it's precisely why she is now vulnerable to D'Hoffryn post loss of Xander, her compass. Also is it possible to put a spoiler warning above that comment for Kenzie?
Hate doesn't even begin to cover how I feel about this episode and this arc. (except I like her becoming a vengeance demon again and the arc around that)
What annoys me about series writers is that they always make it so easy for themselves when it comes to love. I would have found it much more interesting to see how xander and anya work together when married. But in such series only real love is spoken of, but it is never lived. Instead, separations come from suddenly irreconcilable differences that have been there the whole time, but one is too lazy to deal with them together. That is what marriage is for. And such films and series, which have been presented in this way for decades, have had an impact on today's culture. If something doesn’t work, no more work is done on it, but rather one goes separate ways and is replaced. Laziness wins. That's why I can't get anything out of these "romantic" interludes in films and series these days. These are only annoying because you always create problems out of things where none are and then turn the problems into disasters. That is ridiculously sad and lazy writing.
I'll be honest and say, I absolutely hated Xander after this. He had no redeeming qualities for me and I still think they made him be the one to stop Willow because they wanted to fans to give him a break. I honestly hated him when he kissed Willow, when she was with Oz. Anya made him likeable for me, because she was so comedic and fun.
I hate this episode. It is completely against the growth and maturity that we have seen in Xander. I do have a view on why this did happen but that would be spoiler material
Best non spoiler answer is Whedon can't have Any relationship last, least of all a character somewhat based on himself. This is where I decided it went from refreshing turn from the happily ever after trope to a misery trope of its own. I'm not saying I can't see him trying to talk her into a non marriage relationship but in no universe would Xander Harris ditch her to go down that Aisle alone. Also he tends to change his mind post life threatening scenario's. It's a defining characteristic, so he should have been a little more moldable. End rant. Thanks.
@@MackenzieRayneActress Thanks Mackenzie. Watching this one reminded me how much I'd missed your reactions last week. Now I've got to make up to for one. -__-
I might have missed it, but did you ever notice that Hallie/Halfreck is the woman (Cecily??) that Spike used to write the "god awful poetry" for in the episode last series where it showed him as William and being turned into a vampire? They never mention it in an episode except a very subtle recognition towards each other when they meet again
These are the sort of episodes that I have to remind myself that the Scoobies (Buffy/Willow/Xander) are only 21 years old... it's so easy to forget
Yep that none of the other characters said your only 21 why are you getting wed, your way too young.
@@ronaldfasshauer4390 But honestly, we as Early Twenties people think we are grown-ups that is why Hindsight is a valuable aspect to Humanity.
Remember in Tabula Rasa when Willow and Tara instantly feel a romantic connection between them even without their memories, Spike and Buffy too had great chemistry and Buffy and Dawn fell like family to each other despite not remembering their own names, yet Anya and Xander had no underlying feelings without their memories 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
Fascinating point!
I actually noticed that too which is interesting
I think it was really smart of the show to not tell us what the demon did to get punished. It's easy to assume that he was a horrible person that got what he deserved but we know that not all of Anya's victims deserved it. Cordelia was mean but she definitely didn't deserve that wish Anya granted.
This episode is heartbreaking for so many reasons. I'm not necessarily defending Xander but I do think there are a couple points to be made (ok maybe I'm d,defending Xander a little bir)
1. We tend to forget just how young the characters are because of the nature of the show, but they're very young without a lot of relationship experience
2. This episode does a great job of showing what Xander's family life was like growing up. It was always hinted at but this episode really shows why what the spell showed his was his worst nightmare. How parents weren't actual demons, just very human ones who grew to make each other miserable. They didn't kill each other, they just destroyed each other's souls. That's what Xander has to model. There are no examples of healthy relationships around him. Buffy's mom was divorced. Buffy loved Angel but he literally turned evil because of it. And her weird relationship with Spike is har.ful, especially in Sender's eyes. The on!y adult male he ever really had a role model was Giles, who had 1 girlfriend that died & NO OTHER romantic relationship. Even Willow & Tara. Willow was so desperate to keep Tara, she used magic...became addicted. One could argue that he had to know relationships can work. Even fictional characters live in a world with pop culture, but honestly, TV & movies show a lot more of the relationships that go wrong. And the ones that succeed often seem too easy & fake. Xander has nothing to use as a role model for true love, other than sacrificing yourself. He's afraid, not just for himself, but for Anya in the future. And not that he'd kill her. But even worse, that he'd make her life a slow, miserable existence.
Ok. Believe me. I'm furious at him that he let it go this far. Furious that Anya is so heartbroken. It's so painful to watch because you want Xander to be stronger. To fight for the loving marriage & relationship they could have. But time has also given me more perspective that it's very rare not to have 2 sides.
That’s true, right? The characters are supposed to be 20-21 years old
I think it was really smart of the show to not tell us what the demon did to get punished. It's easy to assume that he was a horrible person that got what he deserved but we know that not all of Anya's victims deserved it. Cordelia was mean but she definitely didn't deserve that wish Anya granted.
I understand Xander here and I think his fears are realistic in a way that a lot of shows wouldn't get into. A man genuinely being afraid of turning into his abusive father is very real, especially when you've been living with him your whole life and no one has ever been able to escape the situation. This issue specifically through Xander's eyes/world view would be different than from someone who always had a safe home. The problem, in my opinion, is they never explored this up until now. It's been clear since early Buffy that he comes from a broken and abusive home (Cordelia mentioning he spends Christmas outside to avoid his family's drunken fights, his nightmares about his dad in Season 4, etc) but it was written in a way that rarely ever clearly colored his actions/character. His decision here would make a lot more sense if he'd been dealing with these fears since before the proposal or at least all of season 6 but because they just now decided to tackle this subject it just doesn't work.
Whenever I rewatch this show I keep thinking of how much it fails Xander and what he could have been if he'd been written by someone other than Joss (who has stated many times Xander is his self-insert character.) In my opinion, Xander should have been a genuine big brother figure (I'm actually fine with him liking and being rejected by Buffy in season 1, but then it should have ended instead of it tainting his judgement of her decisions for the rest of the show), and honestly a real representative of the working class could have been powerful in this world where everyone seems to be solidly middle class or above. Xander dealing with being from an abusive home from, like, season 2 would have strengthened all of his existing storylines (being triggered by Angelus, his empathy for Faith and pain at being used by her, dealing with not being able to afford college and being trapped in a dangerous living situation, his attempts to pull himself out of poverty, his inferiority complex, etc.)
I think they tried to go for a lot of these things but because they never gave his traumas and struggles the weight they deserved it just doesn't read a lot of the time. What could have been deep dives into real issues are often treated as jokes or they make him overly jealous/judgmental purely to advance plot (him literally walking out of the shadows to preach to Buffy about Riley in season 5 anyone?). He's supposed to be the heart of the group and that could have been SO MUCH clearer with honestly just a few tweaks and maybe ditching a few monster of the week eps for Xander eps.
Like what if his reaction to Angelus in season 2 wasn't treated like "I've always been jealous of Buffy's boyfriend and now I feel vindicated in being right about him" but as "I know what gaslighting and abuse is and how blind you can be when the abusers are close to you and this guy is seriously dangerous for my friend who needs help." Or what if they made it clear the few times he made really harmful decisions (like cheating on Cordelia) and then aggressively tried to immediately shrug off the blame that it came from a real fear of being wrong being tied to painful punishment or detachment issues from childhood?
In a way it's linked to my other big issue: the fact that no one tried to help Faith in season 3 and just let her live poor in a rundown hotel after knowing she has no support system and carried the trauma of watching her last watcher get tortured and murdered in front of her. If the show really made good on their comments about Xander's home life, I assume they would have to also address why no one made an attempt to get him to a safer environment when they absolutely had the resources to.
Basically all the pieces were there and I even think the actor could have pulled it off. It's just sad these things weren't explored/realistically affected Xander's character from the beginning. He does things that just don't make sense for someone from his background and I hate that they use his inconsistency to often make him the one who does something intensely judgmental/vindictive just to advance plot because they couldn't write their way into a better way of connecting points A and B.
/end essay, lol
Essay, indeed. Well said. I wonder, though, how many people from such (borderline) abusive homes put on a game face even with friends, so we wouldn't see his trauma unless we explored him at home. It's buried deep, but comes out roaring when he's faced with becoming what he despises.
(I call it borderline abusive; it's emotionally problematic but not physically dangerous. Both are bad but in different ways, and the two should not be conflated.)
@@menachemsalomon I honestly head canon this for the show as it currently stands and think it may even have been what some of the writers were going for. I also think that would be the most realistic way Xander would react (as opposed to how I wish it would be addressed with having him helped by his friends), but I do wish we as the audience saw more, including seeing more of him actually at home or repressing these things when alone. I think it would have helped people get him more.
I also do genuinely think this is abuse. I can't believe with the abject fear he shows of his dad in the dream ep that he wasn't physically beaten at some point and his dad was straight up publicly verbally and mentally abusive to his wife while clearly a raging alcoholic. I may be reading too much into it, but this episode honestly made me so sad for Xander and scared of what he's been going through the entire show.
Pretty much all of this. I would have given Anything to see more of Xander and Willows home life in particular. If Angel can have flashbacks, why not them and Faith for that matter.
@@barbarabaker1457 Agreed. I mean I LOVE the show and I know it's easy to say this looking back, you know? But Willow, Xander, and definitely Faith all had some messed up things mentioned about their home lives (even the one time we met Willow's mom it was clear she was pretty neglectful. Doesn't mean it traumatized Willow or anything but she had a lot to go through and it weirdly made me feel more for her in "Dead Man's Party" when she told Buffy she had no one to talk to.) It would have been cool to see and experience.
@@SecondBreakfastClub I don't know why that made me cry but it did. Thanks and you're right A lot is retrospect and I'm sure a lot of this was a time issue and this needs to happen XX&X but everything can be improved Even brilliant things like this show and it would have been nice.
I can't watch this full episode anymore. Once Anya says she's gonna marry her best friend, it's all over. That's it. The tears take over.
A best friend she either emotional blackmails into marriage when she bothers to notice he has issues with getting married or just doesn't care to notice unless his issues delay things.
@@ronaldfasshauer4390 That’s not fair to say about Anya trying to blackmail him. Xander asked her to marry him and made her believe in his love and commitment to her. She initially thought he only asked her because the end of the world was coming and Xander said he was sure of their love. Turns out Anya was right and he broke her heart in the end.
One thing about this episode is that it's very clearly showing Xander's insecurities about his family, and how his life and Anya's fit together, and the chaos of the wedding is a reflection of that. My problem is, why were all of those people invited? I don't care if they're Xander's family, he clearly hates them, and they clearly have no respect for him. Meanwhile, Anya's side, the demons. While it's an interesting thing, showing that she is trying to live her own life, there was no indication before the wedding planning that she still had contact with them. She seemed to have made a clean break from her old life, until this season, and iit was only in the context of the wedding. It just seems like the wedding was filled with the worst possible combination, without any real believable reasons within the story
Once again Xander gives into his insecurities and lets them overtake his life. He was manipulated into feeling like he was doing what’s best for Anya by preying on his worst fears and insecurities. I wish he was strong enough to realize that Anya loved him for him and they could figure it out together. Very sad
Yeah, I totally agree but I also realize that Xander comes from a dysfunctional and abusive household and family and when you have trauma like that you need therapy. Xander has the potential to pass that same pathology down through generations until he decides to break the cycle. His reasons behind his insecurities are valid but he has to recognize them and then be strong enough to fight against them.
@@88jl I think despite his many flaws that Xander has a good heart. He continues to screw up and give in to his insecurities. I agree a lot of it comes from his home life. I’m obviously devastated for Anya in this episode but it doesn’t make me hate Xander. I really do feel for him and knowing that he’s a good guy at heart makes me wish that he could be stronger and better. He for sure needs therapy.
@@Shoofyou10 agreed
Good thing is ALL of these characters make A LOT of mistakes. Not only Xander. So hes only human, huh
During Buffys game of charades, she puts her fingers up like horns and someone guesses "Deathwok clan", which is what Lorne from Angel is.
xander, repeat after me: COMMUNICATION!!! And not just at the alter!!
Another episode that shows how fricking talented & underused Emma Caulfield is! She obviously has killer comedic timing but whenever she’s given heavier/emotional material she always knocks it out of the damn park!! (Ex: The Body, Hells Bells & more to comeee!)
All of the actors were underused except for smg who was overused.
Knowing now that Joss Whedon modeled Xander after himself, I'm starting to believe this episode much more than I ever did when it aired.
It's storming outside with no direct sunlight. That's how Spike was able to get there.
I forgot how much that scene towards the end with anya always breaks my heart. Great Reaction you guys.
I think it was really smart of the show to not tell us what the demon did to get punished. It's easy to assume that he was a horrible person that got what he deserved but we know that not all of Anya's victims deserved it. Cordelia was mean but she definitely didn't deserve that wish Anya granted.
this an episode that's even harder on rewatch, especially listening to Anya practicing her vows when you know how it ends. I hate Xander for what he did here. He had these doubts long before this point and could spoken up at any time but he waits until now? Plus he leaves Anya to tell everyone? It just came off as cowardly. However, when you see him look at his father screaming at his mother it's hard to not understand why he can't go through with it. He was afraid of himself and what he could be and didn't want to hurt Anya more in the long run.
Such a heartbreaking episode. Probably the second time Anya made me ugly cry in an episode since "The Body" 😭😭😭
Oof. It always gets me when they get to the hospital and she tells Buffy " I wish Joyce didn't die." The only wish she ever made on the show not for herself.
So, Xander’s mother is crying her eyes out and he’s had his heart (metaphorically) ripped out. Like he dreamed in Restless.
I really love hearing Mackenzie's thoughts of the episode in the end
Thank you!
@@MackenzieRayneActress You made a lot of really good points. Felt a little bad for Kyle though not getting to put anything in, but this is all fresher for you so it's fine.
Personally I didn't mind Xander deciding the marriage probably wasn't going to work. He had good reasons to be worried about hurting her in the long run (and possibly more people if they had children) as you said. What was inexcusable was not being man enough to walk down the aisle and face the music beside her with them both announcing it was off. Either it was heartbreaking.
@@9ansean Anya walking down that aisle was performative, she was under no obligation to do that she could have just left found Xander and smacked the hell out of him. Instead she went for the drama.
Damn i thought that Faith was watching this...Mackenzie has that look tied down
Yay a Buffy that didn’t get taken down the second it was uploaded.
www.patreon.com/posts/buffy-unblocked-45080106
I get being mad at Xander in this moment but really, this thing preyed on his deepest, darkest insecurities and fears :( Remember that turning out like his parents, never really being able to escape his family (and now, it turns out, not being able to escape the cycle of abuse - physical and of alcohol) is something we see from way, way back, and it's highlighted in Restless. The problem is, now there'd be another person affected by all of that. Now there'd be someone he'd hurt and someone he'd drag down with him.
Through everything that's been happening, it was easy to look beyond his fears but they were never really overcome. Xander has always thought horribly of himself, but to have this shown to him, whether real or not, reminds him that this could happen. Reminds him that he's /sure/ that this will happen.
I get feeling so horrified at what feels like a very real possibility that you'll hurt the person you love the most, or just make them eternally unhappy u.u
I can see in your faces the pain when Spike and Buffy have their moment, it's a beautiful but bittersweet moment. They are so damn cute! But it hurts. Spuffy is a relationship you don't want to love (for all the moral issues you want to put there) but at the same time you can't stop yourself. We feels for them. Deeply. Really. It comes with great actors and great writers.
My favourite part of this episode is Anya practicing her vows - she's so pure, warm, and brimming with love and happiness, and when you know how the episode is gonna end, that scene is heartbreaking.
(That vision of the future is so obviously fake, like Anya would be anything but a successful businesswoman, come on. Yes, it plays perfectly on Xander's insecurities.)
It completely made me cry. So heartwarming!
Anya is my favourite. So naturally I hate seeing her in pain in this ep from a character standpoint. But from a narrative/writing standpoint FINALLY Anya (Emma Caulfield) is given her OWN storylines from here on out & there is great stuff ahead!! Finally they stop defining her soely through her relationship w/ Xander. She’s such an interesting character played by a fabulous actress who always had more potential than the material(or lack there of) she was given in the story.
i feel like i'm the only who thinks that, but i felt sorry for Xander. Yes, he left Anya right before the wedding. Yes, Anya finally learned to open her heart after thinking that love and healthy relationships are impossible, and always mixing love with hate and violence, But so is Xander. And unlike Anya, that seem to get that from terrible relationships that she had, he got since he was born, from his parents. No one really taught him how to handle a relationship, how to treat a girl (we can see it clearly since the begining of the show). And he didn't purposely lied to Anya to he can let it go, he lied to himself.
Ok so if you have commitment issues/ trouble in relationships DON’T propose at the age of 22. He also had the whole season to back out, especially after Once More With Feeling.
I hate xander for what he did but I kinda understand. They built this for several seasons, they always hint that there is something very wrong with his family, we see that a lot in his dream in restless where he is afraid of his father and turning into his father. The demon showed his greatest fear basically. He was trying to ignore that fear but it ended up being too much. It is so sad cause he was a jerk, but I get it after watching all the character development. And xander and anya can be such a sweet couple, i just love anya so much. This episode hurts
Plus it was implied he was at Buffy's final battle, which didn't go well where he got badly hurt, and wasn't able to help. Probably hobbled along just long enough watched her die too. Failure as a friend, failure to provide for his family, then possibly killing Anya. It's a big pile of bricks to drop on someone who is 21 and already had confidence issues.
Xander doesn't want to end up an abusive drunk like his dad, he doesn't want to kill Anya, he doesn't want to make her miserable. I can only imagine how it felt to witness his biggest fears played out, even finding out it wasn't real that is going to leave a mark. I would say that the fact that he and Anya cant talk about their fears (without music truth serum) means they probably wouldn't have had a healthy marriage, except they are only 21 and were surrounded by people in a very stressful situation. I think this episode is tragic
I feel like even though it is really shitty timing, Xander not marrying her with the doubts he had was better than ignoring them and marrying her anyway. He clearly had issues he needs to work through in regards to his own abusive upbringing before he's ready for a future with Anya.
This was the episode that solidified my husband's antipathy for Xander. Once this episode happened - he was done with Xander.
Such a heartbreaking, game-changing episode.
This episode also speaks to theme of the Sixth Season, "Oh, Grow Up." Everyone is dealing with the difficulties of the realities of being a Grown-up and with Anya and Xander, it is the thing of "Oh, we are in love, we should get Married" which unfortunately, a lot of people, in their Twenties, believe they are ready for. I am Thirty-Five, I thought I was ready for Marriage at Eighteen, I am glad, I didn't get married then, I still think there are a lot of people, that aren't right for Marriage, this episode just added Monsters and Magic in the equation and add to that we as Human Beings are not the most rational people in the world especially in our Twenties, that is why Xander did what he did, the way he did, walking out on Anya.
This episode always breaks me ugh.. poor Anya
I understand why Xander thought what he was doing was a good thing, but there was so many other options that I don't really respect him for his choice. He didn't talk to Anya about the insecurities over the wedding he was feeling since Halloween and he made Anya walk the aisle to announce the wedding was off. Like always, everything was done on his terms and not talking to her, or anyone, bit him. He was used by the demon.
I think the true problem is that, despite me having no love for Xander, all his issue stem from his horrible home life. I just don't think it gives him the excuse to do the things he has done for nearly six seasons from his anger management problems to cheating to making other people's decisions for them to not talking to Anya about relationship issues. In some ways he has always been like his father in that regard. Marrying Anya could have helped him veer away from that. And any fallout over walking away could be somewhat on his shoulders.
Also, despite his fears Xander should be questioning whether or not what he saw was even real after being a member of the Scoobies for so long. Mackenzie was right when she said what he saw was one perspective/"side of things."
This is a bottom barrell episode for me. It usually has me more bored and annoyed than sad, which is frustrating as I know I should feel sad.
Right there with you with the boredom part. Other than for a few funny,quirky moments. About the only thing I do remember about it is,of course,Xander leaving Anya. Lame.
lol at this point i just come to the comment section to see how much shit youre gonna talk on Xander each episode.
@@TheBloobster I am not a fan of his. I will always admit that freely and never disputed it, but I also don't bad mouth him in every comment on Buffy as I react to Buffy reactions daily. lol.
I think that you underestimate the ways that a person can be damages from growing up in an abusive home like Xander. I truly wish that he had made different choices but I can also see why he simply cannot even see that there are other choices, his upbringing have blinded him.
@@Henrik_Holst And that is why I said I understood, but I don't think he sees it as the reason he acts that way so much as uses it as the excuse to do so. A great example is Tara. She grew up damaged from an abusive home as well. She became everything Xander isn't under the same circumstances. Yes, damage is done in those situations, but considering how much time Xander spends in the company of people not his biological relatives, he should have been learning how not to act that way, much like Tara quit her stuttering under the Scoobies friendship. Xander thrives on these "red flags" (as Makenzie called them in an earlier video) instead of learning how not to act like his father.
I think Xander knew he wasn't ready to get married from the time he asked her, but I also think he was hoping that by the time the wedding got there he would be. I really think he WANTED to marry her, but because of his insecurities, fears, and that crazy shiz happening with the demon, he just never got there. Like, he kept hoping he'd wake up and feel OK about it so he didn't have to break her heart, but it just never happened.
If I were him, I wouldn't have gone through with the wedding either. That being said, I would have talked to her about this a long time ago. For a couple as close as they are, he still keeps too much to himself. I feel for him, but I feel for her far more.
I do believe walking away was the right thing for him to do... it's just unfortunately, and his own fault, that it got to that point in the first place.
Dude was 21.
I never liked Xander, but this episode made me HATE him. I can understand where he's coming from (his parents seem to be an abusive relationship and he can see history repeating itself), but he should have not let Anya on and toyed with her feelings like.
Personally I love that Anya who is over 1000 years old completely fails to notice for the entire season, that he is having issues.
@@ronaldfasshauer4390 Because he doesn't SAY anything. She isn't a mind reader, even when she's a demon.
@@christianschoff2490 That was sarcasm, there was a scene earlier in the season before they had told anyone they are getting married and she calls him a scared little boy for not wanting to tell anyone. She knew, she just was in love with the idea of getting married.
@@ronaldfasshauer4390 That's not at all the same. That's him keeping it a secret from their friends not talking to his fiance about his fears about the future and his family's issues.
Even watching this truncated version with commentary made me cry :(
I think Xander doesnt know how to see a loving marriage happend. He quits, not because of selfish reasons, but because he legits fears for Anya. For all he knows, marriage is the worst thing ever, for a relationship. He is being reminded of this in no small part thanks to the dynamic of his parents. Still... If he was a very mature person, he would have been honest with Anya about his genuine fears a long time ago. However he is not mature. He is Bart Simpson.
I suppose it's getting redundant at this point to say "Another great reaction!" but, it really was. This is a pretty strong episode, but it's just so sad that it can't be a favorite - even if it has one of my favorite Buffy and Spike conversations of all time. The faces at the behavior of some of the Harrises - both well-deserved and pretty hilarious. And Mackenzie is great in the post-show breakdown, explaining both Anya's situation and her reaction to it. And yes, you should be mad at Xander. Very, very mad at Xander. In my opinion, this is the worst thing he's done in five and a half seasons of the show. He'd have to do something very, very great to even begin to make up for it....
I don't hate neither Anya nor Xander, I actually like them both... and maybe I'm defending Xander a bit although what he did was absolutely horrible and shouldn't be done to anybody specially not to the person you swear you love... but Anya did absolutely terrible things to men for a thousand years (we just didn't get to see them but they were done and I bet she felt really proud of herself because of it) !! I don't know but they say things eventually come back to you so... Destiny just did it's thing.
The thing I hate about this episode is that (for me at least) despite everything that goes on in this ep, Xander breaking off the wedding seems to come out of nowhere. If they just somehow expressed how Xander could see that his future with Anya would end up as broken as the rest of his families I think it would have worked better, but that all only really gets expressed when Xander outright says it in the end, but we/I don't really see it or feel it. And I'm sure that's what they were going for but somehow, none of the stuff happening with Xander's family seems to affect him like that. I don't know why.
I don't know, maybe if it didn't have the guy seeking revenge in the story and just purely focused on the families, if it was just an otherwise ordinary story that just happened to take place in a world with demons, and Xander sees his future in his parents (rather than literally, sort of) maybe then his decision wouldn't seem so unmotivated.
I used to agree but after rewatching this year, It’s not completely out of nowhere. We’ve been given hints throughout the show that Xander’s family life is dysfunctional and is scared of his father (S3 Amends and S4 Restless to name a couple). And we’ve had no real time for Xander to directly face the insecurity that he might not be ready to enter a relationship without seeing how that’s traumatized him and how he sees himself in a relationship. I read an amazing comment that said (and I paraphrase) “We can understand his insecurities and why he made the decision he did, but the point of insecurities is to overcome them and Xander never did”. Had there been time dedicated to Xander becoming more secure that he’s not his father, yeah this breakup wouldn’t be very justified. But we NEVER got to see Xander get over his personal demons and I think we need to remember, as people who have gone through different experiences, that we’re not in the character’s circumstances.
I'm 100% fine with skipping Riley's return anyway.
Kyle, I love your subtle tear wipes. I bawl whenever I watch this episode.
Mackenzie, your outfit/look is total Faith vibes, and that is awesome!
Man, both of you at the end of this video... I’m *still* crying.
After popular demand, we finally got Buffy 6x15 - the YT edit, up at Patreon. Delay due to pandemic and holiday delay. So much for hoping YT would unblock it!
www.patreon.com/posts/buffy-unblocked-45080106
You completely missed the point with xander, the vision of the future was only part of the issue, the biggest thing that backed his fear was his parents marriage and knowing he could turn out like his father. This has been an issue for him throughout the season but actually this is one of the few times he's had to spend a fair amount of time with his disfunctional dad. The orb wasn't his nightmare future scenario, his dad was
My theory. I don't think Burns showed Xander a done movie but rather an interactive illusion based on Xander's fears about the future.
Also I am actually not blaming Xander for getting cold feet on the level of sub zero as if you count in my theory about the false vision and how his family makes the Bundys from Married With Children look like a model family. Hell enven the Mansons were pretty much well adjusted compared to Xander's family.
Never felt the same about Xander after this. What an awful thing to do to someone on the wedding day.
I love Anya and feel bad for her so mych in this episode. She really loved him and I think he loved her. I get that his family is abusive and I wish they would have covered that more in the past but he should have communicated with her earlier if he wasn't ready.
She was in love with the idea that marrying is what normal human couples do.
I hated this episode so much. It goes against Xander's entire character that he's had since the pilot. He gets scared but goes ahead anyway. Wanting to rescue Jesse in the pilot. Being the first to overcome his fear and punch out the killer clown when everyones fears were manifesting. The Zeppo episode.All because of (pretty much) every TV shows 'No Happy Couples' rule. Relationships are only good and stable if they are off screen. As soon you see people happy, that's your warning cuz next episode we're breaking them up(or killing one of them) I get that stories need conflict, but how about one they face together? Lazy writing >:(
Life meets reality with Xander, And his Actors life
Such a hard episode to watch. The only happy parts are Willow and Tara moments and Buffy being happy.
"I'll catch ya later, Dawn" HAhahaha.
This will forever be one of my least favorite episodes. Not only did it shit on Anya and Xander as a couple but, it was too close to home in my own toxic family life. I watch TV shows and movies to *escape* the kind of misery this episode represents.
Blaming Xander is easy. His character is 21 at this point. His father has been a huge influence up until this point. He knows how bad relationships can get. This is the guy that slept outside on holidays because whenever his family gathered it was a train wreck. That kind of emotional scarring does not disappear when you fall in love, in many ways it deepens.
Episode count is not really a spoiler. There are 7 seasons of _Buffy_ and 5 of _Angel,_ each with the standard 22 episodes except for S1 of _Buffy,_ which only has 12. That's a total of 254 episodes, but that doesn't count all the rewatches. Make it an even 500, then.
(Plus 14 of _Firefly,_ 26 of _Dollhouse,_ 3 of _Dr. Horrible,_ _Serenity,_ etc.)
My heart breaks for Anya 😭
I just hate that the writers couldn't even give us one happy episode where this long-time couple gets to tie the knot. Xander knew this was just 1 day in the rest of their lives and having seen what missteps he might take he can avoid those. Season 6 continues to suck the life out of our characters.
I don't understand. Almost every reactor has the same reaction of anger towards Xander. He is literally the kid who grew up in an abusive alcoholic family. He grew up thinking fighting is the norm. Maybe I'm projecting a bit of myself but I find it kinda sexist that Xander gets hate for getting emotionally manipulated after a lifetime of a abusive family and somehow Anya is a victim? I'm not saying Anya did anything wrong but if Anya was the one to call off the wedding I guarantee any reactor would have said "well if it doesn't feel right it doesn't feel right so maybe wait"
I just don't understand how anyone has any anger towards Xander. Neither of them voiced their concerns, they had a song about it, but being shown your greatest fear minutes before your wedding has to be nerve racking
PS: one thing no one ever points out in the vision is that Buffy dies. Hearing that I think affected him as well
As I kind of said elsewhere, to me it's not the calling it off that's worth getting angry about. It's leaving Anya to pick up the pieces alone.
@@9ansean She chose to do that.
@@ronaldfasshauer4390 Yes, I suppose she could have just pulled a Xander and taken off, and leave it to someone else to explain that the wedding is off. It would be pretty consistent with the Scoobies behavior this season to expect Buffy to take care of that, too.
@@lkw7482 No what I mean is that scene of Anya in her wedding dress walking down the entire length of the aisle saying the weddings off was emotional theatre she chose to perform. Anybody could have annouced the wedding is off once and told people to leave, hell they would have figured it out themselves when the wedding didn't happen. Also its not like its against the law not to a dramatic annoucement your not getting married.
@@ronaldfasshauer4390 Yes, that was an unfortunately melodramatic choice on the part of the creative team. But, since we have to deal with it in-universe: from the dazed look on her face, I don't really think she's making much in the way of conscious decisions at all at that point. And even if she is, I guess I'm just not as bothered by it as you - even if we blame that part of public humiliation on herself, the near-totality of the end of this episode - including running away from the woman he'll later claim to still love, not just the guests - is on Xander.
2:38 This episode screws up a Lot in terms of execution, and his unhappy endings became cliche but that was an interesting thing I never noticed and of course many nice moments in it as well. Especially none of the characters ability to communicate. There's usually one or two good communicators in a real group to keep people from doing crap like this all the time. Can't say any episode I think was 100% bad and there are many small, pleasant moments in this one: 3:50, 4:34. Also Xanders family sucks. Glad you're a romantic. And my thoughts are elsewhere in the section but I liked your thoughts tho more mad at Whedon than Xander as the leaving like that, as you said, didn't make sense. I've actually never found him unpredictable which is why this was weird for me. Edit anywho thanks for a great reaction as always.
Hey, what happened to Buffy 6x15? That video is blocked for me,,,
Felt bad that Anyas victim got played as the villain and killed by Buffy. No mention from the above on that ?
Two wrongs don’t make a right. What more needs to be said?
Not sure there was time, seems several things were glossed over for plot needs. He obviously sucked before becoming her victim and an argument could be made on that as well. Maybe this needed to be a 2 parter? It just felt rushed.
@@barbarabaker1457 In Into the Woods Anya joked about making a person combust before setting his whole village on fire. Until Selfless in S7 her Vegence demon past has always been played for laughs on the show
@@emanymton713 Maybe undo the spell done to him and turn him human again. Maybe have Anya show remorse at what she did ?
@@geraintthatcher3076
It's been played for laughs since the episode she took an interest in Xander, partly because it's that kind of world and partly because she herself doesn't see it, anymore than Spike does, like she doesn't quite know how her soul works yet. She's a lot like Xander Blind in certain respects, remarkable vision in the others. But if you recall she was quite scary all the way up through the return of vamp Willow. There's a reason Willow and her have issues, one being she has changed but it's difficult to see from the outside because she has this exact disconnect.
It's a personality flaw, one of many and it's precisely why she is now vulnerable to D'Hoffryn post loss of Xander, her compass.
Also is it possible to put a spoiler warning above that comment for Kenzie?
Hate doesn't even begin to cover how I feel about this episode and this arc.
(except I like her becoming a vengeance demon again and the arc around that)
What annoys me about series writers is that they always make it so easy for themselves when it comes to love. I would have found it much more interesting to see how xander and anya work together when married. But in such series only real love is spoken of, but it is never lived. Instead, separations come from suddenly irreconcilable differences that have been there the whole time, but one is too lazy to deal with them together. That is what marriage is for. And such films and series, which have been presented in this way for decades, have had an impact on today's culture. If something doesn’t work, no more work is done on it, but rather one goes separate ways and is replaced. Laziness wins. That's why I can't get anything out of these "romantic" interludes in films and series these days. These are only annoying because you always create problems out of things where none are and then turn the problems into disasters. That is ridiculously sad and lazy writing.
I'll be honest and say, I absolutely hated Xander after this. He had no redeeming qualities for me and I still think they made him be the one to stop Willow because they wanted to fans to give him a break. I honestly hated him when he kissed Willow, when she was with Oz. Anya made him likeable for me, because she was so comedic and fun.
It’s so awful to see that side of them.
I hate this episode. It is completely against the growth and maturity that we have seen in Xander.
I do have a view on why this did happen but that would be spoiler material
Best non spoiler answer is Whedon can't have Any relationship last, least of all a character somewhat based on himself. This is where I decided it went from refreshing turn from the happily ever after trope to a misery trope of its own. I'm not saying I can't see him trying to talk her into a non marriage relationship but in no universe would Xander Harris ditch her to go down that Aisle alone. Also he tends to change his mind post life threatening scenario's. It's a defining characteristic, so he should have been a little more moldable. End rant. Thanks.
Yayyyyy
As you were is still blocked 😕
www.patreon.com/posts/buffy-unblocked-45080106
@@MackenzieRayneActress Thanks Mackenzie. Watching this one reminded me how much I'd missed your reactions last week. Now I've got to make up to for one. -__-
I hate this episode so much.
Oh great, another subpar episode that I can't stand. Then again, there are like 3 Xander centered episodes that I actually like.
I might have missed it, but did you ever notice that Hallie/Halfreck is the woman (Cecily??) that Spike used to write the "god awful poetry" for in the episode last series where it showed him as William and being turned into a vampire? They never mention it in an episode except a very subtle recognition towards each other when they meet again