I’ve been hiding my finances from my Cat. He currently thinks we are very wealthy with plenty of kibble and water; plus his ability to sleep for 18 hours a day.
Basically, her question was, "Hey Dave, I didn't pay or save for my mortgage so I could buy whatever I wanted and I didn't tell my husband this. How do I make my husband (remarried) pay for the mortgage that I should have been paying?" Talk about a lack of accountability. If I were him I would divorce right away and fight so she gets nothing.
If by combined they mean absolute transparency meaning we both have access to view everything the other does financially which includes every transaction, then yeah I'd do it lol. If it were my wife anyway
I think she should work overtime, sell some of her stuff, live on rice and beans, Uber at night to make extra income. When she is completely pay off the debt, she can ask her husband to combine income or money. Good luck lady.
That's their M.O. in their eyes the woman can do no wrong. "Oh, the wife gets the family in financial sh*t and hides it from the husband? He MUST be abusive." Wake up Dave, not all women are angels.
It defeats the purpose of marriage if one hides something this important from their spouse. Trust is one of the crucial foundations that hold the marriage. Hope she opens up to him about it!
I hid my finances from my wife for years because I didn’t want to burden her with living paycheck to paycheck. Watching the Dave Ramsey show gave me the courage to come clean because I realized how having only 1000 in my bank account with no debt isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was. I wasn’t spending out of control, I just didn’t want her to know we were scraping by. Now that we’re on the same page our marriage is so much better, I’m so dumb lol
How gentle and understanding are Dave and John with this woman. Their magic answer is to combine your incomes and confront this problem together. What a a crock of shirt!! Why didn’t they rip her apart for committing financial adultery! What about her accountability for her deceiving actions for over a year! Double standard at it’s best.
Yes. Women get a pass. Here’s the advice they should have given her. Sweetie. Hand over every cent of your paycheck to your husband and allow him to give you an allowance of his choosing. She gets ZERO input. She’s a child. You don’t ask your 12 year old about the finances.
If a guy did what this lady did, Dave and simp John would've totally ripped the guy a new one. But since it's a woman caller, they're always gentle with her. At the beginning of the call...major SIMP John was already trying to paint the husband as the bad guy by asking her if she was hiding her financial secret from her husband because she was "scared" of him, until the lady admitted that _she_ was a careless spender did John finally hold her accountable.
God is after our hearts and a heart of repentance that has Jesus as their lord and savior is acceptable to God. She admitted her mistake, if God can give her grace can't you?
@@Doctor.Dentista Perhaps he realizes women make up a large amount of the purchasing decision within the home and being a business owner didn't want to anger the wahmen mob.
So, she lies and by her own admission spends out of control and now wants him to combine finances with her? Maybe when she shows some self control on her own for a good year and no more lies maybe then we can discuss this topic again.
Exactly right, I don't know why this wasn't discuss further, yes she need her husband to help her and this is a combined problem BUT the person that needs to show change is her, and as Dave pointed out she needs to apologize and ask for help and so on but she is the one needing yo change and get her stuff and spending together not both of them, her
Imagine what they would have said if the roles were reversed. Fact that you KNOW they would have ripped that man to shreds tells you everything. Don't get married folks, it's financially prudent.
What is wrong with this woman? I can almost understand missing a month or two of mortgage payments but she missed probably a year’s worth. I’m sure they were getting notices in the mail about this so she was probably snatching the mail before he saw it. If you’re him, how do you forgive this betrayal? Just wow. At this stage, he’d be a fool to combine money. She needs to provide proof every month that she’s paying or he pays and she reimburses him. What a mess.
@@ryansauchuk7290 My husband and I never combined our money. We both had our own businesses, we both had our own bank accounts, and he paid for A, B and C. I paid D and E (private school tuitions). I got married mid 30s and couldn’t imagine losing my independence. Worked for us.
@@MrsEJV My wife trusted me with the money right from before we even lived together. I've earned more and made all of the financial decisions as she just isn't interested in it all. She likes to live simply and really doesn't want to buy much of anything. I now no longer work and she works part time. We always discuss buying stuff, especially the more expensive things, and try to live a fairly simple life because that's what we both like. Works very well for us.
I had a roommate in college. We split the bills. I paid the apartment rent and he paid the rest. Worked fine until one day cable was shut off. He didn’t pay at all. He got so mad at me when I called him out that he moved out. Many people have this same arrangement. Make sure you have proof and send monthly sit downs.
Had neighbors in college so the same... they each paid half but one remitted payment to the other each month... so they other was only paying half rent each month... they were both evicted! definitely happens!
I love how their first assumption was that it was the husbands fault (abusive husband) 😂. The ramseys sure arent doing these women any favors by coddling them.
Any relationship built on lies or secrets is doomed to fail. From day one my wife and I combined our earnings and lived within our means. We discussed large purchases and home improvements but never nickel and dime each other for small purchases. We have been married 45 years with no financial problems. She needs to grow up and act like an adult.
This is why I control our finances lol, I married because my wife and I accepted traditional roles. She is basically in charge of our lives 100% and I'm 100% in charge of the finances. I work far more, she takes care of the house, laundry, grocery, cooking, paying the bills etc. We are extremely happy and accept our places within the household. This doesn't mean I own my wife and the money, obviously she can spend money on what she what's, if it's a big spend though it must be mutually agreed upon or it doesn't happen. We own each other and keep each other in check.
Gotta take a little exception to the statement that you work more. lol. Are you sure? In our case, I’m the saver and my husband is the spender. I’m in charge of the monthly savings. It’s mostly in envelopes.He pays the bills mainly because they are paid electronically and it’s all confusing being everywhere at the moment, in a few accounts. We each have blow money and we decide together on bigger purchases.
Sometimes, depending on the people, it is impossible to rebuild trust. I hope for this lady's sake it will work out for her but there is no guarantee that her husband will ever trust her again.
@@bee12355 No, it could not have easily come from a man. This is because women are hypergamous by nature, and the family courts are gynocentric. The risks for a man in marriage way outweigh the risks for a woman. This is why women are opposed to pre-nups, but a man who gets married without one is a fool.
Go watch some other videos, Dave has absolutely destroyed women over financial infidelity before. Some ppl need to be told off and publicly embarrassed so they don’t lie again, and some ppl need to be encouraged so their shame doesn’t make them lie again. Stop trying to make everything about gender
The idea of splitting the bills is fine and if you have to have separate accounts that can be OK...but every month at the beginning of the month the bank statements and other statements go on the kitchen table. The are no secret trips to the casino or oppps I missed the insurance, house payment or electric bill.
AND SHE HAS NEVER EVEN APOLOGIZED FOR THIS? That’s the absolute, bare minimum LEAST she could do. Unacceptable. Zero accountability. She needs a second job to get out of this mess.
Yes. I was married previously and my husband and I were splitting the cost of rent on our apartment. But he wasn't paying his half of the rent, only I was and I didn't know until I came home to an eviction notice on the door. I had no idea. And yes, that was the straw that finally broke the camel's back. We were through.
I hate how they immediately blame the man. How is he abusive that caused you to make this decision. These guys are sick and part of the problem with society against men
John and Dave asked this question because it is odd that she would be the only one responsible for the mortgage, which would make it very likely that the mortgage debt is in her name only. This could be that she owned the home prior to the marriage and it is her home only, or as is often the case in abusive relationships that the victim would have all debt in their name but the assets often in the abusers name so the victim would hold all the debt and the abuser would own all the assets yet have no liability. So I do think those foundational questions should be asked to have better understanding of the situation, before making judgements on the matter. She feels guilt which is often the case of victims of abuse. So I am still not clear on what lead to this point, so I wont make judgment either way and just rejoice that she is seeking advice and shedding light into the darkness of their finances which can help them both.
She lied to her husband about almost getting a foreclosure on a mortgage because she can't control her finances. That's big and something you can't and might not come back from
@@Lilbit2215 I think the OP meant Deloney was making a bigger deal than it needs to... referring to the caller's husband, like, how John was automatically assuming her husband must be abusive that's why she hides financial secrets from him. Right away Deloney was aiming to blame the husband. I think that's what the original comment meant.
She has messed the guy up financially. Worst mistake he ever made is to marry this selfish, self absorbed lady. It will be apparent if it already isn't.
I guess we’re all programmed differently from the factory - if I was skipping the mortgage payment to spend the money on stuff for me, I wouldn’t be able to sleep a wink at night! Half of the worry would be about what I was doing and the other half would be about what my wife was going to do to me when she inevitably found out……😮
100% agree. I have watched enough of these episodes and they always give the ladies an easy time. If you are a guy then you need to "Man Up" and pay off the debt even if it's your wife that racked up the loans
@@ghostbird92 I don’t think so. John’s analogy about her heavy burden was bogus and idiotic. She must put herself on rice and beans, take a second and third extra job to pay for her stupidity and deception. Let’s not forget to sell her car.
I hate how they always open the door to them to play the victim card. Why did you choose this to be "safe" - what? That encouraged them to lie and dodge accountability.
@@janelleg597 You took the words right out of mouth. They can work their marriage out. I really feel like there may be more with the husband too. I check every bill that comes in the house, both spouses should.
Her real question: "I was supposed to pay the mortgage while my husband payed for everything else.....how do I make him pay for the mortgage too so I can keep spending?"
I think the fact she called and went through all that and was so humble, shows her heart is different now and what she really wants is unity with her husband again. I think that's awesome and I actually am proud of her. Everyone needs grace and everyone who humbles themselves deserves another shot. Go go go. You can do this. Today is the day of salvation. Forget your past.
given that a marriage is legally the merger of two entities into a single entity as far as contractual obligations go, it is too bad that unlike corporations, there is not a limited liability option
@@fhuber7507 the pre-nup concerns protection of pre-marital assets, and division of assets on divorce. I do not think a pre-nup protects one partner from financial misconduct of the other partner, including pre-marital - check with a lawyer on this
Even if a married couple doesn't combine any accounts, it's still important to have visibility into each other's accounts, debts, and bills. Even though the husband wasn't paying the mortgage, he should have been seeing the monthly mortgage statements.
Look at how Simp Deloney was trying to blame the husband and paint him as the bad guy right from the start, even before he knew the whole story. Always blame the husband, the husband must be abusive, that's how Baloney Deloney operates, that's always his first thought.
He asked a simple question when she said she woke up in the middle of the night with anxiety he needs to get a clear picture. I’m sure with his background in crisis response and working with police closely some women he has talked to have been in abusive marriages and he would rather be safe than sorry. Plus after he got the clear picture he did hold the wife accountable to her actions. Also it’s common human decency to spell someone’s name right so You shouldn’t comment on the post about him until you can spell his name right D-E-L-O-N-Y
@@flashthecorgi2053 If the gender were reversed, if that was a male caller, Baloney Deloney would've NEVER have asked that question and you know it too. Admit it.
@@terriesmith2616 No, I won’t admit that because I’ve heard him ask that question on his own show when the man is being dishonest especially the one where he lied about going to school. He asked “what about your wife makes this a unsafe question where you feel like you have to lie all the time?”
‘Hey i spent my money instead of paying the mortage. Let’s talk about budgeting and combine our finances.’ Hmm, i wonder why he told you to kick rocks.
Why does Mr.Ramsey and Ramsey personalities always try to find if its the man fault as the first thing. If its a guy, these people would have been so harsh. When roles are reversed, they wanna baby talk. Smh
Well, I'm a woman and my situation is like this only reversed - my husband is the secret spender. Fortunately, I've controlled the money since I realized he has not a brain cell in his head when it comes to paying the bills, and he acknowledges it.
This is exactly what I expect when I hear “I’m from California”. She did something so horrible behind her husband’s back that hurts him... and then she tries to blame her husband for now not wanting to combing incomes. This is woman that you divorce.
I sometimes don’t read the words correctly the first time . It’s probably a combination of bad eyesight and lazy old brain ! But I first read the grading of this video as I BEEN HIDING MY FIANCÉ FROM MY HUSBAND! It was a good video but o had to read it twice or it would have been disappointing a little lol
I do the exact same thing! Its probably a combination of my ADD and jumping to conlusions. I read the title as "I've been hiding from my fiance with my husband"
if he does not trust her i would get a divorce. I know its hard but I cannot risk losing my home because of a marriage, especially how hard it is to even buy a home
I need to settle a debt with synchrony bank who claim to be representing a department store and I'm doing the negotiation via postal mail. My question is should I sign the letter with my real signature or can I just type my name? Is it safe for them to know my real signature? And do I have to have the letters notarized?
Also if he owns the house and not just her it would be wise for him to be overseeing all the finances as she asked for help and needs boundaries between her and her money while she gets healed of her spending addiction. It would be wise for him because its his home also. Now if only she owns the home and he does not I do also believe it would be wise to combine at least a percentage of each of their finances that covers the costs of utilities, mortgage and for him to be added to the mortgage and the title to the property. This would ensure both had liability and equity in the property.
So this lady has been committing financial infidelity and not paying their mortgage so she can have a spending spree. Then wants to combine their incomes so she can put the financial burden on him so she can “work on her finances” ……yeeeea no!!
Have you ever heard anything different; his first assumption is the woman is married to a scary abusive man. Seriously, how can someone who always assumes the man is victimizing a woman be a good therapist? The man is always guilty until proven innocent.
What else is she lying about. He should leave. You guys are treating her like a poor little wife. You’d never talk to a man like that. I’d never trust her again. Now he has to help pay her selfishness? She knew exactly what she was doing. Get a second job and pay it off herself.
Guys, stop saying they are going “easy” on her since she is female. They are still being tough and calling it out, they aren’t going to absolutely tear her apart, she IS a woman and should be handled more gently than a man. It also works better to be kind than tough on woman, compared to men, where, usually, you need to be tough for them to understand and change.
Risked losing their home, irrisponsible with finances, a year deep into it finally confesses and is upset husband doesnt to combine finances to dig her out of this mess so she can bkow throuhh his savings too? Ya i dont blame the guy.
OMG, this lady is legit risking their home so she can have a spending spree!
This is modern woman.
Modern women at its finest. Never get married fellas. Or get married and risk your financial freedom 😂
@@KennyFromthaAagreed 💯
@@JC-jk3kl facts. I’m moving to Thailand in a few years .
Women get away with murder
I’ve been hiding my finances from my Cat.
He currently thinks we are very wealthy with plenty of kibble and water; plus his ability to sleep for 18 hours a day.
Aww lucky kitty 🐈⬛
What’s his household income?
@@woodside4life retail he’s probably net worth about 50 dollars or 2.25 bags of cat food.
Basically, her question was, "Hey Dave, I didn't pay or save for my mortgage so I could buy whatever I wanted and I didn't tell my husband this. How do I make my husband (remarried) pay for the mortgage that I should have been paying?"
Talk about a lack of accountability. If I were him I would divorce right away and fight so she gets nothing.
EXACTLY.
...California.
You are tough.
@@bee12355 Tough? He needs to immediately leave her
@@katiejon17 California what?
There's no way I would combine my income with her. She would spend through that, too! She hasn't even bothered to apologize to him either.
If by combined they mean absolute transparency meaning we both have access to view everything the other does financially which includes every transaction, then yeah I'd do it lol. If it were my wife anyway
Spot on, thanks
@Tavari lol that's why you get a partner that's on the same page as you 🤦. My new wife is. We make 10k a month and are on same budget plan TOGETHER
@@Tunechi65 awesome
I think she should work overtime, sell some of her stuff, live on rice and beans, Uber at night to make extra income. When she is completely pay off the debt, she can ask her husband to combine income or money. Good luck lady.
Best idea honestly,cuz she needs to accept and pay for the consequences of her actions
That advice is just for men, women get an accountability pass in Dave's book
@@nowie4007 She's a women. That's not happening lol.
@Jasmine Baby If these two (Dave) were no simps, your suggestion would be exactly what these two should have said.
I agree with this, along with her asking him to help her budget. So he feels comfortable in knowing she has her money habits under control.
Love how John just goes straight to abusive husband
He must hate men because he accuses all of them of being abusers.
That's their M.O. in their eyes the woman can do no wrong. "Oh, the wife gets the family in financial sh*t and hides it from the husband? He MUST be abusive."
Wake up Dave, not all women are angels.
Yup. Double standard Dave and full of bologna Delony.
Those type of calls increase the ratings and bring in the youtube views.
@@ilai7893 Exactly, and not all men abuse women doctor D.
Shame?! No she lied! Stole! Deceived!
It defeats the purpose of marriage if one hides something this important from their spouse. Trust is one of the crucial foundations that hold the marriage. Hope she opens up to him about it!
True, but those who need help sadly will probably ignore a statement like that.
I hid my finances from my wife for years because I didn’t want to burden her with living paycheck to paycheck. Watching the Dave Ramsey show gave me the courage to come clean because I realized how having only 1000 in my bank account with no debt isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was. I wasn’t spending out of control, I just didn’t want her to know we were scraping by. Now that we’re on the same page our marriage is so much better, I’m so dumb lol
You mean he's scared to combine incomes with someone that spends uncontrollably? Duh!
It’s funny how she now wants to work a budget after she created a bunch of debt; he should get out now!!
Some people don't take marriage as lightly as you do. Marriage is "till death you do part"
@@inthedarkwoods2022 Trust me, I don’t take it lightly at all; I just don’t know how you would get past this since they could lose their home.
Bigtime!
My sister and bro in law stayed married thru much worse than that and they are happy. Don’t give up so easily.
@@David-wo9unn
How gentle and understanding are Dave and John with this woman. Their magic answer is to combine your incomes and confront this problem together. What a a crock of shirt!!
Why didn’t they rip her apart for committing financial adultery! What about her accountability for her deceiving actions for over a year! Double standard at it’s best.
Every. Single. Time. Dave Ramsey and team go way too easy on women.
Yes. Women get a pass. Here’s the advice they should have given her. Sweetie. Hand over every cent of your paycheck to your husband and allow him to give you an allowance of his choosing. She gets ZERO input. She’s a child. You don’t ask your 12 year old about the finances.
If a guy did what this lady did, Dave and simp John would've totally ripped the guy a new one. But since it's a woman caller, they're always gentle with her.
At the beginning of the call...major SIMP John was already trying to paint the husband as the bad guy by asking her if she was hiding her financial secret from her husband because she was "scared" of him, until the lady admitted that _she_ was a careless spender did John finally hold her accountable.
@@terriesmith2616 I feel sorry for you guys. So sad and angry on the inside. Zero compassion. Zero understanding. Zero empathy.
@@mtaFTW
I'm a woman so don't feel sorry for me. The west caters to us women, so worry about yourself.
His son passed away (her step son) and you do this to him? I don't think god can help you here lady. That's just f*cked up
God is after our hearts and a heart of repentance that has Jesus as their lord and savior is acceptable to God. She admitted her mistake, if God can give her grace can't you?
Would be instant divorce for me
If the genders were reversed Dave would rip the man to shreds.
So would the fake doctor.
Double standard Dave.
Perhaps he holds men to higher standards than women.
Or he didn’t want to publicly scream at a woman.
@@Doctor.Dentista Perhaps he realizes women make up a large amount of the purchasing decision within the home and being a business owner didn't want to anger the wahmen mob.
No he wouldn't. If he came with the same honesty and humility as this lady. He might tease him a little, because that is what men do to each other.
So, she lies and by her own admission spends out of control and now wants him to combine finances with her? Maybe when she shows some self control on her own for a good year and no more lies maybe then we can discuss this topic again.
Careful Ryan, you're being too logical. Someone would say on this channel that she is the victim.
Exactly right, I don't know why this wasn't discuss further, yes she need her husband to help her and this is a combined problem BUT the person that needs to show change is her, and as Dave pointed out she needs to apologize and ask for help and so on but she is the one needing yo change and get her stuff and spending together not both of them, her
it’s called being a narcissist and a lot of women out here definitely are.
Imagine what they would have said if the roles were reversed.
Fact that you KNOW they would have ripped that man to shreds tells you everything.
Don't get married folks, it's financially prudent.
She should turn all her money over to him as she has proven herself incapable of financial responsibility.
Yup
A wise man of God once said, "If you have to keep it secret, it probably ain't right."
I once saw someone say they told their child "We keep surprises, not secrets." and I thought that was a good distinction.
I thought the title said "Hiding my Fiancé from my Husband." then I was confused because this call wasn't nearly as dramatic as I was hoping. 😂😂
Hiding a years worth of missed mortgage payments isnt as dramatic as that? I think it is lol
What is wrong with this woman? I can almost understand missing a month or two of mortgage payments but she missed probably a year’s worth. I’m sure they were getting notices in the mail about this so she was probably snatching the mail before he saw it. If you’re him, how do you forgive this betrayal? Just wow. At this stage, he’d be a fool to combine money. She needs to provide proof every month that she’s paying or he pays and she reimburses him. What a mess.
They're married their income is already combined
She’s mad he won’t sit down and discuss the budget? I’d sell the chair out from under her.
@@ryansauchuk7290 My husband and I never combined our money. We both had our own businesses, we both had our own bank accounts, and he paid for A, B and C. I paid D and E (private school tuitions). I got married mid 30s and couldn’t imagine losing my independence. Worked for us.
@@ryansauchuk7290 She clearly stated it wasn't.
@@MrsEJV My wife trusted me with the money right from before we even lived together.
I've earned more and made all of the financial decisions as she just isn't interested in it all.
She likes to live simply and really doesn't want to buy much of anything.
I now no longer work and she works part time.
We always discuss buying stuff, especially the more expensive things, and try to live a fairly simple life because that's what we both like.
Works very well for us.
I had a roommate in college. We split the bills. I paid the apartment rent and he paid the rest. Worked fine until one day cable was shut off. He didn’t pay at all. He got so mad at me when I called him out that he moved out. Many people have this same arrangement. Make sure you have proof and send monthly sit downs.
Had neighbors in college so the same... they each paid half but one remitted payment to the other each month... so they other was only paying half rent each month... they were both evicted! definitely happens!
I love how their first assumption was that it was the husbands fault (abusive husband) 😂. The ramseys sure arent doing these women any favors by coddling them.
Any relationship built on lies or secrets is doomed to fail. From day one my wife and I combined our earnings and lived within our means. We discussed large purchases and home improvements but never nickel and dime each other for small purchases. We have been married 45 years with no financial problems.
She needs to grow up and act like an adult.
I can not imagine spending money and not paying the mortgage. My husband had me pay the bills and never asked if I paid them, he just knew I would.
Cause you’re a responsible adult
John's question at the start was a disgrace
This is why I control our finances lol, I married because my wife and I accepted traditional roles. She is basically in charge of our lives 100% and I'm 100% in charge of the finances. I work far more, she takes care of the house, laundry, grocery, cooking, paying the bills etc. We are extremely happy and accept our places within the household. This doesn't mean I own my wife and the money, obviously she can spend money on what she what's, if it's a big spend though it must be mutually agreed upon or it doesn't happen. We own each other and keep each other in check.
If only all women were like that. My girlfriend is a magician when it comes to money. She makes it disappear.
Gotta take a little exception to the statement that you work more. lol. Are you sure?
In our case, I’m the saver and my husband is the spender. I’m in charge of the monthly savings. It’s mostly in envelopes.He pays the bills mainly because they are paid electronically and it’s all confusing being everywhere at the moment, in a few accounts. We each have blow money and we decide together on bigger purchases.
You are looking for something that's not there.@@kalindakelly3417
If she pays the bills she's taking care of finances
They always gotta eat the apple, don’t they?
Sometimes, depending on the people, it is impossible to rebuild trust. I hope for this lady's sake it will work out for her but there is no guarantee that her husband will ever trust her again.
I wouldn't! Would you?
It will definitely take time.
This call is the reason every man needs a pre-nup.
@@michaelpalumbo4880 not just men that need a prenup. This call could have easily have come from a man.
@@bee12355 No, it could not have easily come from a man. This is because women are hypergamous by nature, and the family courts are gynocentric. The risks for a man in marriage way outweigh the risks for a woman. This is why women are opposed to pre-nups, but a man who gets married without one is a fool.
Get married they say, you will be happy, they say
Right!
its financially driven. people think they cant make it on their own.....it BS
❤😂😂😂😂
Say the divorce lawyers😢
If a man called. It would be a very different answer.
As it should be
@@bigsnacks2350wrong
Go watch some other videos, Dave has absolutely destroyed women over financial infidelity before. Some ppl need to be told off and publicly embarrassed so they don’t lie again, and some ppl need to be encouraged so their shame doesn’t make them lie again. Stop trying to make everything about gender
@@voidfroze But it is very very rare. Even if they are wrong.
You must be annoying to know......with all your baseless assumptions. Watch more and you'll realize how wrong you are...yet again!!
I like how she's the victim all of a sudden...
Woe to me because my stepson passed away… seriously?!
John always assumes the woman is innocent
The idea of splitting the bills is fine and if you have to have separate accounts that can be OK...but every month at the beginning of the month the bank statements and other statements go on the kitchen table. The are no secret trips to the casino or oppps I missed the insurance, house payment or electric bill.
This is one reason why my wife and I have the same account, a lot more accountability up front.
AND SHE HAS NEVER EVEN APOLOGIZED FOR THIS? That’s the absolute, bare minimum LEAST she could do. Unacceptable. Zero accountability. She needs a second job to get out of this mess.
How one spouse can hide anything, much less finances from the other is beyond me THIS IS WHY THE DIVORCE RATE IS SO HIGH.
Yes. I was married previously and my husband and I were splitting the cost of rent on our apartment. But he wasn't paying his half of the rent, only I was and I didn't know until I came home to an eviction notice on the door. I had no idea. And yes, that was the straw that finally broke the camel's back. We were through.
I cannot stand liars. The dude should ditch her and never look back.
He'd only have to deal with 2.5 years of spousal support. Pay the stupid tax now and cut her off.
She just wants to combine money because she wants to rebuild trust, she wants him to pay off her 16k debt.
Man what a bait and switch
There is no trust.
I hate how they immediately blame the man. How is he abusive that caused you to make this decision. These guys are sick and part of the problem with society against men
John and Dave asked this question because it is odd that she would be the only one responsible for the mortgage, which would make it very likely that the mortgage debt is in her name only. This could be that she owned the home prior to the marriage and it is her home only, or as is often the case in abusive relationships that the victim would have all debt in their name but the assets often in the abusers name so the victim would hold all the debt and the abuser would own all the assets yet have no liability. So I do think those foundational questions should be asked to have better understanding of the situation, before making judgements on the matter. She feels guilt which is often the case of victims of abuse. So I am still not clear on what lead to this point, so I wont make judgment either way and just rejoice that she is seeking advice and shedding light into the darkness of their finances which can help them both.
Combined finances in this case should mean, her pay checks go directly into his account and she doesn’t have access.
Yes
Typical doctor John immediately assumes the husband is Af fault.
Dr phony balony delony
He literally just asked a question… you can listen to 2:48
@@troyspears6470 talking about his assumption and leading questions at :40
He’s a wanna be psychic
If I was the husband I will not combine with his wife. The marriage is over!
I have a funny feeling PODS is possibly a Ramsey sponsor :).
have a funny feeling you don't watch the full episodes
John is always trying to make things bigger than they are.
She lied to her husband about almost getting a foreclosure on a mortgage because she can't control her finances. That's big and something you can't and might not come back from
@@Lilbit2215
I think the OP meant Deloney was making a bigger deal than it needs to... referring to the caller's husband, like, how John was automatically assuming her husband must be abusive that's why she hides financial secrets from him. Right away Deloney was aiming to blame the husband. I think that's what the original comment meant.
Things are always big in the USA
@@terriesmith2616 yup
Can't stand John Baloni.
Oh... if this was a man that called in... Dave would've ate him for lunch!
Dr. John always takes stuff to the extreme.
Why did they go straight to reestablishing trust with the husband as opposed to addressing her lying and spending the mortgage payment on nonsense?
She has messed the guy up financially. Worst mistake he ever made is to marry this selfish, self absorbed lady. It will be apparent if it already isn't.
I guess we’re all programmed differently from the factory - if I was skipping the mortgage payment to spend the money on stuff for me, I wouldn’t be able to sleep a wink at night! Half of the worry would be about what I was doing and the other half would be about what my wife was going to do to me when she inevitably found out……😮
She should get a second job. When you have second job you dont have time to spend.
The Ramsey crew is all for personal responsibility unless you're a woman; in that case it's mostly your husband's responsibility.
They scolded her a good bit though, making her feel guilty and telling her to carry a cinderblock around as a reminder of how she lied to her husband.
100% agree. I have watched enough of these episodes and they always give the ladies an easy time. If you are a guy then you need to "Man Up" and pay off the debt even if it's your wife that racked up the loans
@@ghostbird92
I don’t think so. John’s analogy about her heavy burden was bogus and idiotic. She must put herself on rice and beans, take a second and third extra job to pay for her stupidity and deception. Let’s not forget to sell her car.
I hate how they always open the door to them to play the victim card. Why did you choose this to be "safe" - what? That encouraged them to lie and dodge accountability.
That would be instant divorce in my home regardless of anything else. That would put my children at risk of being traumatized
Wow. That’s is telling. Your marriage is built on sand then.
Divorce IS trauma
@@janelleg597 You took the words right out of mouth. They can work their marriage out. I really feel like there may be more with the husband too. I check every bill that comes in the house, both spouses should.
This is why I tell guys to check to make sure what ever woman they are about to marry is financially responsibility and do not combined finances.
Is that how it works in your marriage?
Her real question: "I was supposed to pay the mortgage while my husband payed for everything else.....how do I make him pay for the mortgage too so I can keep spending?"
@6:55 Dr. John does his George Clooney from "Up in The Air" 🤣
im confused wouldnt he know before she told him as hes on the mortgage and he would need to sign to get their forbearance and all that
I think the fact she called and went through all that and was so humble, shows her heart is different now and what she really wants is unity with her husband again. I think that's awesome and I actually am proud of her. Everyone needs grace and everyone who humbles themselves deserves another shot. Go go go. You can do this. Today is the day of salvation. Forget your past.
BS she wants them to tell her what she did was right. And, NO it wasn't.
given that a marriage is legally the merger of two entities into a single entity as far as contractual obligations go,
it is too bad that unlike corporations, there is not a limited liability option
They call that a pre-nup.
@@fhuber7507 the pre-nup concerns protection of pre-marital assets, and division of assets on divorce. I do not think a pre-nup protects one partner from financial misconduct of the other partner, including pre-marital - check with a lawyer on this
Even if a married couple doesn't combine any accounts, it's still important to have visibility into each other's accounts, debts, and bills. Even though the husband wasn't paying the mortgage, he should have been seeing the monthly mortgage statements.
Look at how Simp Deloney was trying to blame the husband and paint him as the bad guy right from the start, even before he knew the whole story. Always blame the husband, the husband must be abusive, that's how Baloney Deloney operates, that's always his first thought.
He asked a simple question when she said she woke up in the middle of the night with anxiety he needs to get a clear picture. I’m sure with his background in crisis response and working with police closely some women he has talked to have been in abusive marriages and he would rather be safe than sorry. Plus after he got the clear picture he did hold the wife accountable to her actions. Also it’s common human decency to spell someone’s name right so You shouldn’t comment on the post about him until you can spell his name right D-E-L-O-N-Y
@@flashthecorgi2053
If the gender were reversed, if that was a male caller, Baloney Deloney would've NEVER have asked that question and you know it too. Admit it.
In America it has to be his first thought
@@terriesmith2616 No, I won’t admit that because I’ve heard him ask that question on his own show when the man is being dishonest especially the one where he lied about going to school. He asked “what about your wife makes this a unsafe question where you feel like you have to lie all the time?”
Good cop bad cop.
She got a serious spending problem, how can he trust her NOW with HIS money. I can’t combine if I don’t trust my spouse’s judgment.
DR. D can't get himself to even let her finish before he is blaming the husband
‘Hey i spent my money instead of paying the mortage. Let’s talk about budgeting and combine our finances.’ Hmm, i wonder why he told you to kick rocks.
Why does Mr.Ramsey and Ramsey personalities always try to find if its the man fault as the first thing. If its a guy, these people would have been so harsh. When roles are reversed, they wanna baby talk. Smh
They have been married five years too long. She’s hiding her financial shame. That’s not good for their marriage.
I would divorce my husband if he did this to me. Period.
That's why I'll never let a woman run my or my family's fianances.
Well, I'm a woman and my situation is like this only reversed - my husband is the secret spender. Fortunately, I've controlled the money since I realized he has not a brain cell in his head when it comes to paying the bills, and he acknowledges it.
She messed up and wants him to fix it. She needs to stop spending, 16k isn't that much if she is working.
At least she's opening up about her mistakes. Mistakes can be forgiven but they can't be repeated.
She’s only telling him because she can’t cover it anymore. The forbearance is over so they are in it deep
Combining their finances doesn't fix her irresponsible spending 😤
This is exactly what I expect when I hear “I’m from California”. She did something so horrible behind her husband’s back that hurts him... and then she tries to blame her husband for now not wanting to combing incomes. This is woman that you divorce.
Then you're stuck with alimony & child support payments.
Getting married with current laws is a deaths sentence to a man.
Lol ok boomer. Where are you from Texas? Mississippi? Tennessee?
@@nunyabidnes6010 I’m a gen x’er in New England you yuppie.
She's doing all kind of shady stuff behind her husbands back, cohost IMMEDIATELY blames the husband and asks her if he's abusive, unbelievable
Great call. You can hear her fear and shame. And Dave and John did a great job of talking her through it and giving her hope.
Didn't sound scared to me.
A verbal apology is a gateway statement to you issuing a truly effective apology call mom the greatest apology is a change in behavior
They gotta go “easy” on her so she stops being stupid and man’s up to her lies
I sometimes don’t read the words correctly the first time . It’s probably a combination of bad eyesight and lazy old brain !
But I first read the grading of this video as
I BEEN HIDING MY FIANCÉ FROM MY HUSBAND!
It was a good video but o had to read it twice or it would have been disappointing a little lol
I do the exact same thing! Its probably a combination of my ADD and jumping to conlusions. I read the title as "I've been hiding from my fiance with my husband"
Almost six years and neither one of them communicates. They are like ships passing in the night. There is plenty of blame to share in this mess.
True her quality of life is more important to her than him. Moving forward give him your paycheck let him budget your money .
Who owes the house? If she owes the house…the husband needs to think twice, what else has she done? There is more to the story.
if he does not trust her i would get a divorce. I know its hard but I cannot risk losing my home because of a marriage, especially how hard it is to even buy a home
I need to settle a debt with synchrony bank who claim to be representing a department store and I'm doing the negotiation via postal mail. My question is should I sign the letter with my real signature or can I just type my name? Is it safe for them to know my real signature? And do I have to have the letters notarized?
Forget about it! I'm out.😮
dang he went straight to abusive husband
Also if he owns the house and not just her it would be wise for him to be overseeing all the finances as she asked for help and needs boundaries between her and her money while she gets healed of her spending addiction. It would be wise for him because its his home also. Now if only she owns the home and he does not I do also believe it would be wise to combine at least a percentage of each of their finances that covers the costs of utilities, mortgage and for him to be added to the mortgage and the title to the property. This would ensure both had liability and equity in the property.
So this lady has been committing financial infidelity and not paying their mortgage so she can have a spending spree. Then wants to combine their incomes so she can put the financial burden on him so she can “work on her finances” ……yeeeea no!!
Dr phoney is such a simp lmao right to the abusive husband button
She makes it looks like she's a victim? Brah
I truly do not understand how you can be married and not combine finances.. That is not a marriage, it is a roommate agreement.
Combine income in this case should be she transferring all her money into his account
Dave finally said he was doing great! Finally!
1:45 BASED
Time for a divorce
If I'm him, I'd rather be single
Wow. A minute in and it's John, stating you must be the victim as a female
No he didnt, he literally just asked a question and she answered and they moved on
Have you ever heard anything different; his first assumption is the woman is married to a scary abusive man. Seriously, how can someone who always assumes the man is victimizing a woman be a good therapist? The man is always guilty until proven innocent.
You can literally listen to 2:48
@@troyspears6470 Yes he did.
@@troyspears6470 Listen again; he 100% asks her why is she afraid of this abusive man.😂😂
I knew my ex was lying, when her lips moved !
I'm going to hide how much money I have from my girlfriend just to see if she's really interested
Grammatically incorrect.
Dew it
The doctor always be tryna make something hella deep more then what it is. Mad annoying
What else is she lying about. He should leave. You guys are treating her like a poor little wife. You’d never talk to a man like that. I’d never trust her again. Now he has to help pay her selfishness? She knew exactly what she was doing. Get a second job and pay it off herself.
Guys, stop saying they are going “easy” on her since she is female. They are still being tough and calling it out, they aren’t going to absolutely tear her apart, she IS a woman and should be handled more gently than a man. It also works better to be kind than tough on woman, compared to men, where, usually, you need to be tough for them to understand and change.
She wants to combine income so she can spend his also
Risked losing their home, irrisponsible with finances, a year deep into it finally confesses and is upset husband doesnt to combine finances to dig her out of this mess so she can bkow throuhh his savings too? Ya i dont blame the guy.