Stop Giving Wife Benefits / Husband Benefits While Dating...
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- Опубліковано 11 кві 2020
- Visit 👉 www.StephanSpeaksShop.com - The lines in dating have gotten blurred, and you need to make sure you're not crossing it. Don't give wife benefits / husband benefits while dating...
Take heed to this dating advice. Too many people are doing too much for someone that isn't even committed to them. Making that mistake can do much more damage than good.
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As a certified life coach, dating expert, and dating coach, I see the mistakes people make every day. I know what men want, as well as women, and I know what also works against them. Focus on seeing if you have a deep and genuine connection with someone, rather than jumping to providing things that should be reserved for a fully committed relationship.
Relationships get easier when we take time to learn ourselves, love ourselves, and become confident in who we are.
If you are asking any of the following questions or searching for:
- Giving wife benefits
- Giving husband benefits
- Online dating
- Dating coach for men
- Dating coach for women
- Dating advice for men
- Dating tips for men
- Dating tips for women
and more, well, I believe this dating advice for women and men video will give you the clarity you need.
I want you to experience an amazing relationship. If you would like further assistance visit me at www.coachingwithstephan.com
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I hope you enjoyed my video "Stop Giving Wife Benefits / Husband Benefits While Dating..."
Watch this video next dating advice video "Before Cutting Someone Off LISTEN TO THIS!"
👉 • Before Cutting Someone...
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#WifeBenefits #HusbandBenefits #Dating
"How you treat yourself will tell me how you're going to treat ME" WOWWW!!!
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Whoever is reading this i pray for restoration in whatever you had lost whether its marriage, health, relationships, business and finances. God is with you
Salute
Thank you 😔
Amen ❤️
AMEN! Thank You. Same to you💞🙏
💛🧡💙thank you.... Same to you
I swear...dating should not be this complicated. It's not even worth it or fun at this point. 😩
Realest shit I've read so far
Ms. Allen This is so true. In my opinion, what makes it so hard is that our own expectations for what a relationship looks like is often skewed by our fantasies and what we think a relationship is supposed to be. The truth is, it’s NEVER not been complicated. If you think about it, it’s two strangers with a bevy of flaws coming together in an effort to determine if the other is a POTENTIAL mate. This is why I love being an Aquarius because we don’t get easily attached and have no problem letting stagnant people go. Period. Stop giving someone your all when you’re just dating, cuz you’re giving your all to potential. That’s illogical. We waste too much time giving energy to people that don’t align with who we organically are. Furthermore, someone that’s still trying to make themselves whole shouldn’t be engaging in serious relationship anyway. Idk lol. I just think women especially invest too much of themselves into a relationship they had no business being in for potential. One insecure person will likely attract another insecure person so of course things will be complicated. Secure people don’t waste their time with just anyone or just potential cuz they know their value Sorry. I clearly had some stuff to get off my chest lol.
@@marishajames3581 And you did! And I appreciated every word if it. Thank you☺.
Honestly, I’m tired😐
I agree with that I also believe if you don’t take care of your kids it’s a reflection on how you will treat the person you’re with.
This 🔥💯
@Paul Hogue the same goes for a man. If you're not doing your manly and fatherly duties what good would you be of as a husband
It goes both ways for both parties not only one.
That was my one mistake! I’m a very nurturing person, so I couldn’t help myself by coming into a relationship not only desiring physical love, but doting on my partner by cooking, cleaning, etc. i think I wanted to show my “value” as well, but I soon realized that it actually backfired. I was meeting their needs, but mine were not being met. I have old fashioned values, so I’m going back to what feels right for me! Thank you! Love your advice and your Godly wisdom!
So I just broke up with my now ex because I feel I was going out of my way for him and not getting that in return even tho he always said he wanted to marry me..but here’s my thing I love to cook..idc to eat out all the time so when spending time wit someone especially if you come to my house and we watching a movie or something I cook or have snacks on deck that we both like. I was raised to clean after myself so idk I’m just confused
True I used to give husband benefit to boyfriend damn it was hell but after breakup I got the real husband
Where did you find your husband?? Online dating? Where?
AMEN‼️ NO INTIMACY BEFORE UNION/MARRIAGE‼️‼️‼️ FOLLOWING THE TEN COMMANDMENTS 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️‼️‼️‼️
"You have to connect, don't do it because you feel that you have to"
Real Talk! There has to be a Mental connection, but first, the evaluation has to be of Self!
Yesss, I agree! There's nothing more attractive than a man/woman who is sure of themselves and who doesn't need the approval of others to validate their worth. We just tend to over-complicate dating by operating from a place of a lack of self confidence.
Confidence is everything
Also when u do those things for a person realize they most of the time wont committ totally to u because why would they? u are already doing all the wifely/husband duties for the person.....why buy the cow if u can get the milk for free???🤔
Leslie Weir For the beef? 😹
I just said that to myself it's so true
I've done this twice. The first time I wasted ten years. The second time I scored an amazing husband. Here's the difference... it wasn't reciprocated until the second time. I treated my now-husband the way I did with SOME wife benefits because that's how I liked to treat him. He is a hard worker and I take pride in taking care of him. And he did the same for me. I understand that aint for everyone lol but we prayed and were on the same page from day one.
What about the sex?? Did you guys wait till marriage? And how long were you guys together by the time he proposed??
@@SunnySummer777 we did have sex, and it was a bit over 4 years before we got engaged and married 5 weeks after that.
Thank you !!! I like to cook and treat ppl good !! I like to switch things up if we always going out spending and wasting tons of money just on a date I start to feel that is wasteful especially when I’m all about saving moneys Nd using your finances wisely don’t get me wrong I do love for me to take me out on dates but I believe it’s okay to invite someone over for a movie or dinner 🤷🏽♀️
Okay so we going in circles now and confusing the children. Men should pursue women. If the woman you are pursuing doesn't want you she is not your WIFE. Let her go. Don't sleep with women that you are not willing to lay down your life for. Men and women alike need to have some standards and build themselves so that they are ready for their life long mate. Stop repeating old habits that don't work.
So one-sided! Shouldn't the same apply to women? Women shouldn't be provided for by a man she can't die for.
Lol women go to the extreme why must I be willing to die
Agree
Exactly!! "Why are men giving wife benefits to girlfriends"
Eish that bad thing just happens I don't know if its voluntary or involuntary, but hey it does happen. What are the wife benefits? Is buying your partner gifts or to sweep her off be the guy whose responsible for her home's debts?
THE BLESSED LIFE I’ve always hated this mindset. I think women do it because they feel like they have to prove to men that they’re worthy to be chosen. But some men will turn around and still string them along because they’re already getting the benefits with no commitment. And women play the same games with men - “how much are you paying?” My (now) husband and I started out with an intentional courtship and were very transparent with each other throughout.
Great video family. Love the dialogue and how you broke this topic down.
GO LIVE STEPHAN WE'RE IN QUARANTINE WE NEED IT!
Good shit dude. Thanks for the free info.
Let him earn your love. Well said Mr. Stephan Speaks. Much appreciated🙏. Much love from +256❤
Keep your perspectives clear
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+ this is actually the reason for most delayed marriages.
U already giving husband/wife benefits, so why do you need to marry?
Stephan CONNECTION is it! When u connect u KNOW!
I wholeheartedly agree.
Preach!!!! Earn that privilege. ❤
You better speak the truth Stephan.
Amen! Come on 👏🏽👏🏽
When the church said , “uuuuuhhhhhmmmm” 💡💡💡 I felt that.
"Do not do wife duties/husband duties at a girlfriend's/boyfriend's price".✌🏿✌🏿
The opposite is true also. Don't do gf or bf duties at a husband's or wife's price.
agreed, no providing until she earns it
Now that's good!!!!
When they said “mmm” I felt that
Gabriel same here
I counted 16 times they said MMM
This guy is excellent👏👏👏
Your so classy! Go head with yaself!😊
AGREED!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽
Facts!!
He is making some valid points
I have a male good friend and him and I get along so well. But truth be told, I for one I am naturally a spoiler and I love genuinely anyone that I care about. So, I was always there for him in his highs and lows in a genuine way expecting totally nothing in return because it was my heart sailing naturally and genuinely for him. But recently he ghosted on me and I came to realise that my being nice was leading him on intimately and confusing his decision making with the lady he always wanted to get back with. The best I did was to pull away a bit so that I can give him enough room to connect with the lady he really wants. The whole point here is, we have to know when to draw the line in our friendship with people we genuinely care about and not be selfish in our deeds towards them and ourselves. If you really have to draw the line so that your friend finds what he/she really wants, then do it because that too is a way of loving and caring for them genuinely from your heart. True sincere love (in every aspect) is selfless and patient and not selfish. Stay blessed❤.
That's REAL good.🙌👏
I totally agree
WORD!
I wish there were ppl awake and teaching this when I was a teenager. There's a whole 2,3 maybe 4 generations that got scammed into believing what they heard or saw as what was real. No one was willing to break the link and destroy the ugly molds that we were formed and shaped into. Most of us are now elders who are alone lonely bcus we never got the memo or the info needed to learn basics. most have nothing to give back bcus nothing was stirred up in us and we didn't realize it until it was to late to fix our views and knowledge about love life relationships marriage and dating. Dating is the worst of all experiences bcus there are no rules guidelines or protocols to follow bcus with evolution has come erosion of morals standards respect and empathy and a whole lot more. Thus making dating the devil's game and not many come thru it intact. Dating is stressful and most of what we put up with is cruel and inhumane!
Happy EASTER!
Good.....💯
Speak!
Preach!
True!
Yessss same thing I said.
Defo 💯
This is true
Exactly 🤝👌🏻
If they don’t treat themselves well, they won’t treat you well! Unhealthy people can’t have healthy relationships. Loved this!
✋🏾 Im new here! LOVE the content you bring. HOWEVER, how are you a "realationship expert" when I see no ring on your finger? Where is your wife??? Again love this content, just curious of your situation.
Ameeen, you nailed it bro.
exactly, your saying not to give women all the benefits you would to a wife which I'm so happy to hear and I'm completely with you on that, why because she has not EARNED IT it's completely different a wife vs girlfriend.
Powerful
Facts
Hi Stephan, I enjoyed this info. What do you consider wife and husband benefits when you are just dating. Can you give me an exame of both?
LMFAO. The head shake 😂
Yes 💯
True
CONFIDENCE 🙋🏽♀️
Yes sir
Good job Stephan, get on these men 🤬too!!!
Yessss!!!🙌❤
Dating can be a strain if you are not properly acquainted and at the same time being analyzed by each other (sounds like 2 opponents sometimes). Couples go thru a lot in this whole game. Is this even love? Just sounds warlike.
........Period!!!!💯💯💯♥️♥️♥️🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Men have to SHOW a woman that he's going to be a GOOD PROVIDER. If he's CHEAP and STINGY with his Finances, he's going to be CHEAP and STINGY with EVERYTHING else (love, affection, attention, kindness, etc). Most women are NOT Gold Diggers, they just realize, show me where a MAN spends his money, and I'll show you what he truly loves and values. Its NOT really about JUST the money, it's about being VALUED. Dudes just don't get it.....REAL MEN do.
this video really spoke to me.
Can I hear FACTS?
How the two said ummm 🤔 right before the video ended...😂
#straightfacts #strongfacts
I'm way past that lol! Now it's jst lk : I ain't got time for that 🤣
this happens sooo often nowadays in situationships. its usually the man or the lesser invested party that are sticking around extracting fringe benefits from the other person. im just gonna say that the user do not wake up one day with a grateful heart and say "shes been giving so much and im really thankful. i now give to her double of what shes given me". not gonna happen. ONLY boundaries work so start learning boundaries + consequences.
Not enough information, you got to go more in details or in depth. Would’ve been a better informative video. 💯🤔
Yesss, learnt this years ago. You get all of husband benefits when you become my husband 🤷🏽♀️. Like Stephan stated it's ok to do some things every now and then. Trust, men will still want to marry you if you don't try to "ACT" like a wife before you really are.
What's to act or play the wife/husband benefits to someone you love? I mean what are those benefits you shouldn't be doing while you dating not married yet?
@Sheelah
Only God knows how many other different men youve given those same husband benefits too for whatever reason. If you aint a VIRGIN or someone who as have very very few men (under two/three) in her life then you are NOT in a postion to say this.
@@nathanj3665 I am in a position to say this. My husband didn't marry me because I cooked or cleaned for him. In fact he married after 7 months of dating and I was 22yrs old he was 31. For your info, I had only one partner prior to him which was my son's father and we was engaged until I broke it off for him cheating. My husband rearranged his whole life to accommodate bringing me and my son into him and his son's life. Our first conversation lasted 3hrs. In fact we didn't even live in the same state. I didn't do back flips to impress him, I was myself and honest about who I was. I worked 2 jobs when he met me and was in school working on getting my degree when he met me. He was in the military 12yrs at that time, both independent and NOT acting like husband and wife prior to being married. So I'm very qualified to make the statement I made. I don't speak unless I've experienced it. I stay in my lane which is the path I've walked. Many blessings to you!
@@justicemokokolisi5984 Depending on how long you're dating I'm pretty sure you will taste someone's cooking. For me, I didn't have to go cook, clean up, wash clothes etc for my husband to marry me. To each his own. My son's father who I was engaged to and my husband didn't even want me doing those things because they knew how to do it. When I got married I did majority of the cooking but we shared every thing else. My son has special needs and he jumped right in to also learn what was needed. I worked two jobs when I met my husband and had excellent credit. We both brought things to the table to make it work. We now have two more children and we've tought them what we brought to the table before marriage. Again, I'm qualified to speak for what worked for me. I have a Master's in Human Service and a girls mentoring program. I've dealt with many families, know many people stories and even down to my sister's who washed clothes, moved in before marriage, cooked, etc and are not married to guys they did that for. IJS🤷🏽♀️.... This is my opinion though and truth for my life. I can't speak what will work for others. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free...🤔 Be blessed! 😊
@@SheelahA74
Fair enough. Its not my intention to demean your experience.
My point is that you cannot make your rare subjective experience the whole NARRATIVE in reality.
I'll just say this not to knock you but to reaffirm my point of modern women. You say you had only one partner before your husband
How many other men did you have sex with before your husband?
Partners doesn't equal how many you laid the cookie for. Im not saying there is anything wrong with that. But my point is that modern woman who as had multiple men e.g. whether partners or casual sex wants to claim the same rights as a virgin.
This is what feminism and the media as done. To the extent you even have single mothers who want to claim the same rights as a womsn with no kids. Makes no sense.
ALPHA MEN have entered the chat ❤️
GENUINE LOVE OVER ATTACHMENT.
Attachment says, "I love you therefore I want you to make me happy," whereas Genuine Love says, "I love you therefore I want you to be happy; if that includes me, great! If that doesn't include me, I simply just want your happiness."
Naaaa.... Loyalty matters
What exactly are wife and husband benefits?
That's like saying your employer should stop giving you the benefits of an employee. Which is the job that you not only applied for and have the skills and possible experience. But it's a job you have been hired to do but you are on probation...true or facts? (The less you complicate your life especially your dating and relationship life the better off you feel and be.)
PREACHHHHH❤❤❤😘😘😘😘👍👍👍👍👍👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
At this point dating is all about how little you give in exchange to see how much you can take. I just want to to be myself and the person I’m talking to, to be themselves genuinely, if that means she loves to cook and wants to make meals then why not, if that means i like to shower her with romance etc why not? It’s like we can’t even be ourselves around the people w are trying to build something with and that makes me wonder how can you build a foundation when you aren’t being truly who you are?
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You simply have to know where and when to draw the line. Read God's word. For instance; refuse to get on your back before marriage. Let God be true always and love unconditionally. Stay blessed🙏
I would love to know what exactly he is talking about. What kind of things? I was told that as a girlfriend I didn't have the "right" to question him and mind you all I did was asked what he did for the day. I have never asked for him to pay for anything for me and he has never offered other than when he take me out he pays. But if I ask him out I pay. So what are these limits a girlfriend has? I am seriously curious? AND should I treat him the same way?
1:41 I can tell you a no good bum by the way I carry yourself bro I kept rewinding to it over and over again 😝😝😝
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Specifically asking, what are you doing with the women you're dating right now and what are they doing with you Stephen?
1:41 😝😝😝 I'm done 😝😝😝
I made this mistake when she was my girlfriend and she felt entitled
I’m really confused with this video. What are extra stuff? I get where you are trying to go with this, but we need you to define “what” is too much.
Keyona K. Yeah the message is very contradicting. I know plenty of men who are physically fit, take pride in their exterior, but when I take the time to know them their mean, selfish, and shallow.
I guess I’m confused on what aré husband and wife things we should or shouldn’t be doing while casually dating???
I'll try and explain this as best as possible. This may be a bit long.
I think what he's trying to say is this. From a male perspective, don't provide for a woman who you're ONLY dating in hopes of gaining their approval or validation. Your self worth shouldn't be dependent on what you can provide. Personality and character is greater than a man's ability to provide. If a man loses his ability to provide, somehow, then it's important that he has a strong character to keep him confident. By provide we largely mean the financial security and mental/emotional stability which a man takes ownership of in a relationship. However, it's important I emphasise that he's not saying men shouldn't provide at all. He's saying they shouldn't do it in the hopes of gaining the approval or validation from women.
Now let's look at it from a female perspective. As an example, most men would expect a wife to cook, clean and be supportive of his goals in life. If a woman is cooking and cleaning for a man while ONLY dating him, in hopes of gaining his approval or validation, then that's just as bad as the guy who provides for a women in hopes of gaining female approval and validation. Again, it's important to realise that you shouldn't do husband/wife benefits to gain the approval of the person you're dating.
Now let's conclude this and put it in to perspective. Your character is more important than what you can physically do for another person. The key idea Stephen is trying to explain is this: don't give husband/wife benefits to gain APPROVAL and VALIDATION from the other person. If you want to give husband/wife benefits while dating, then do it because it's GENUINELY something you want to do. And make sure it's really genuine and you're not doing it to impress or win over another person. You use your character to win people over instead. Character remains forever.
Makes sense?
Kinda confused net lapho... What are the husband /wife benefits? Is it buying gifts while you dating or pay her home's debts problems?
@@justicemokokolisi5984 Yes, that can be part of it. Look at my previous comment for more understanding.
@Dan Day.... I hear what you saying there... Are you prohibited not surprise or gift your partner while both of you are dating. Yes or No? Cause as far am reading to your remark... Buying gifts genuinely sounds the same of doing hus'/wife duties to put it that way... I personality and character are checked everything about you but then you decide to gift your loved one(gf/bf)
Please unlock my comprehension here guys I really struggles to get it through my head...
That's me smh
May you give some examples of wife benefits? I want to know where I should be drawing the line.
Paying her bills.
Don’t pay her bills or pay her nails n hair etc.
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❤️🙌🏾
❤❤❤❤
I destroyed that like button
There’s LEVELS TO THIS SHIT.
-Meek Mil.
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How do you show a man or woman that you’re a husband or wife if there’s no examples of that with a physical person with that treatment of actions tho ? And yes without the money .
Same way you got a job with no experience boo boo 😂
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