OMG THANK YOU for the piece on forgiveness. Forgiveness in narcissistic families is too often weaponized - it absolutely was weaponized in my house growing up. But what really happened was that nothing ever changed, forgiveness just became a way to give the abuser permission to continue to mentally and emotionally harm you. I HATE how the forgiveness narrative has gotten so embedded into popular culture, it's basically become meaningless, and has actually allowed a lot of really harmful people to escape consequences for their actions.
@@barbarabagatin8962NOPE. SO WRONG. This is exactly the type of victim blaming Dr. Ramani was talking about. I wish for you hope and healing, grace and kindness for yourself and others 🙏
Dr Ramani has helped me greatly over this past year. My world came crumbling down around me less than a year ago when I realized my husband was psychologically, emotionally, mentally abusing me. I’m heartbroken that anyone could be so cruel. He knew I was previously in an extremely lonely marriage of almost 30yrs. And he used that information to manipulate and gaslight me.
Mee too I'm still 8 months, no contact, and waiting for the 12 month divorce proceedings, after 19 yrs of the betrayal trauma was loved bombed into. I'm still feeling the hurt at times when I see a lovely couple holding hands, and I have to check the list in my head, that that was only during a love bombing stage, but went back to loneliness even living with him and sleeping with him. I am struggling to find something I like doing, I'm too old to go out now, it's no longer valid to seek another partner to share my life with because trust is been betrayed, in my whole life... But thank God I found Jesus who loves me for ever 🙏
@@jilladams7573 I mean like learning to trust your own intuition, because all your life you've been told you were wrong, you shouldn't feel that way. So not doubting yourself and reconnecting with your emotions is important.
I cried when he said all those good things about Dr. Ramani and how she is helping us so deeply. Thank you to both of you for this wonderful healing conversation!
Couldn't agree more with Kyle, Dr. Ramani is a warrior, helping me and others heal and grow. Thanks for having her on the show. Can't wait to get her book.
my husband soon to be X just moved out, the entire last month, I watched Dr R, as I experienced Trauma bonding and helped me play the record backwards, I would run in my room and she would straighten me right out. Instead of letting the Gaslighting happen I ran and listed to her and unwound the feelings. Bless You Dr R. !
Dr. Ramani… you are my gift. I am barely hanging on. I can’t believe that I’ve lasted almost 49 years. I thought no one would ever understand what it’s like to survive and physically, mentally and emotionally abusive narcissist mother and I am the scapegoat, easily thrown away. My dad is passive, all knowing and allows mother to do and say anything and my sister, the golden child. Thank you
I'm proud to say I received my book, the Audio, and the Kindle. Videos like this helps keep me sane today. I lost hope in the past, but that all changed now.
I love the praise you give Doctor Ramani because she truly deserves it. Her book is AMAZING. I was a little hesitant in ordering it because I know ‘it’s not me’ and like she says - everyone wants to read and know about the narcissist and not about the good person. Well, I want to let people know that this book is also about that antagonistic person in your life. It is such an incredible read. HIGHLY recommend it! I want to thank Doctor Ramani because she could've broken this book down into so many little ones and sold them separately, but she didn't. I would call this book the Bible on 'how to survive and thrive after or during a narcissistic relationship'. Upon knowledge that in this world narcissistic people exist, I have listened to possibly all of her videos (some twice). I can't thank her enough for her awesome work. I have commented on Doctor Ramani's video before that she is today world's modern super hero. She has helped and is helping so many of us. Thank you again. YOU. ARE. AWESOME! ❤️ P.S. Great video Kyle!! I always listen to you as well. 😊
Red Flags are behaviors that if we were never taught to see as wrong and dangerous, are behaviors that we accept as normal, & don't run away from. Growing up in a Narcissist Abusive household, I didn't recognize that these behaviors were dangerous, I thought they were normal relationship behavior s. So, when my partner became enraged and started throwing items at the wall, I would say to myself "that's OK, I am safe, he isn't throwing anything at me". Since I had grown up with items thrown at me by family members, I felt safer with my partner bc he didn't throw the items at me. I didn't recognize any Red Flag behaviors from him ( & now I see that there were so many!), bc so many of his behaviors were just like those of my family.
Thank you Dr Ramani for the knowledge the validation the clarity that had me confused helpless panicked self loathing and blamed myself for the actions and behaviors that didn’t along to me as I am the scapegoat for everything and anything and isolated with a ice cherry of devaluation and shame.Learned very young that God and myself had to be the only things to be grateful to make it through every day without true family & support
What a life changer. I feel blessed to happen to been introduced to this wisdom and psychology after suffering too long from narcissistic abuse in family and even friendships. It is a grieving experience and painful but happy to know IT’S NOT ME lifts a HUGE burden. THANK YOU DR RAMANI ❤️
This was so helpful to me. I’m feeling that sense of cognitive dissonance in realizing that my family is not safe for me. They all conspired to help my adult son with cognitive disabilities basically run away from my home to another state. He convinced them that he needed to escape right away and nobody even thought to ask me what was going on. He basically villainized me and my wife to everyone so they would help him move.. like he had to escape from us. When we found out their plans we told him to get out. So now we are the bad guys for kicking him out while also being the bad guys for trying to make him stay with us. I can’t trust my parents, my son, or my sister. I just recently told them all that I need space and set up a no communication boundary with them. It’s just so disorienting when you realize that the happy family you thought you had never really existed.
Ooooffff! I feel betrayed too. So sorry you had to go through that. Glad we have this space for healing…and grieving/purging what we’ve carried on us and in us. It’s been 48 years of slow food poisoning that I’m able to recognize and relieve myself from. It feels so icky. For me right now…I choose to forgive myself first. For not knowing what I was in as a child up to 50 y/o at present time. All of these years of therapy and trying to “work” on myself. No wonder…”it’s not me!” That never donged on me…🤯
You have no idea how much I needed to hear this right now and how much I appreciate what your doing. I’ve been through the ringer so much happened my mother helped her friend commit identity theft and fraud to the IRS and other federal programs in my name I started receiving letters in the mail a few weeks ago both affecting my taxes and health insurance I never thought she’d use being my mother in order to do what she’s done I actually went no contact months ago but a long standing pattern with her has been that she enjoys the pain and trauma she inflicts through others and by gaslighting me so I would have to accept the dangerous people she associated with because if we didn’t go along with it she made threats and attempts of self harm but I want to be clear that with all that’s happened I’m completely done with her and her side of the family because all they’ve done is enable her and guilt trip me into keeping my mouth shut not reporting her etc so I won’t be silent anymore and I am documenting everything.
It’s really heartwarming to see Kyle and Dr. Armani back on a video together, especially since I started watching her thanks to MedCircle during the pandemic lockdown. Still such a great team-up!💖
Dr Ramani you are an angel. Thank you for dismantling the hold this relationship has on me. Listening to you you gives me perspective, affirmation, strength and freedom ❤️🙌
He took advantage of my greatest gift, generosity, that cuts deep! He did it with gaslighting and I responded with unconditional love and generosity, he will never have any one as good as me and I will for sure never have anyone as bad as him, lol Thanks Dr R!
Dr. Ramani is the absolute best. She is doing very powerful work & helping so many suffering and lost because this is a topic that very few know about or understand and is desperately needed. Thank you!
YES! I was pressured to forgive my ex about 2 years after my divorce, and all that did was cause me to swallow my anger when I 😅was just beginning to really feel it. 18 years later, I'm finally letting myself feel all the rage and spite and hate and it's so freeing to admit that it exists! I will feel all of this until I'm done, and then I'll decide if I want to forgive, but it will be MY choice.
Learned to keep my friendships totally separate. I stopped doing “couple” sh*t together. I go out with MY friends and nurture those relationships alone… and have so much more fun. Narcissists are so BORING. Keep my life separate and don’t share deep stuff.
Dr Ramani I so appreciate your powerfully true insight. I have been whooshing to the top shelf all my life. And yes when it bites us it really hurts so badly. Waking up to the Truth of it is the other not caring for me. Dr. Ramani is such a gift to help us understand what really is going on in these very painful experiences. I would love a copy of your book.
The comfort you just gave me just by getting permission to have accepted this bad behavior is so healing . It healed the self gaslighting xo love you thank you Love you too kyle xo thank you❤❤
Following years upon years of being betrayed multiple times by my spouse - even with my sister - the more lovers I discovered he had had, although hurtful to me, left me free to understand that it was never me or my failings - as he implied - but rather something in him he was trying to prove about himself, his inadequacies or perhaps his superiority.
Several years ago this site had a calm cool collected yet very aloof vibe. I called them on it. What a beautiful warm, giving, heart felt site these two have provided. I am more than thankful! The open style is wonderful.
This woman never stop to amaze me with her knowledge ✨By now I’ve listened to hundreds of her talks and I’m still learning … thank you, thank you, thank you 🙏⭐️
Omgoodness always get what I need. It’s like reading an Alanon book daily When Kyle said his partner would choose drugs over him! My 24 yr marriage to a narc/addict. His last relapse was steroids & gym adoration Wooosh he’s gone. My future is bright Ty for this content💪🏻
I found my voice & the best decision i ever made was going no contact with an ex malignant narcissist who did unforgivable things to me during most of my life & i can thank the warrior herself Dr.Ramini who taught me & gave me permission to do so & low contact with my narcissistic mother who was his chief enabler Im getting my son to order her book on Amazon for me as im not IT literate...i need to read this book I have always enjoyed videos with you both , you have a lovely energy together & we've got this Kyle!
Abusers dont take responsibility and accountability for their own actions. They rarely say sorry and they blame others for their actions. Abusers enjoy harming others and they enjoy seeing people suffer. They enjoy the suffering they see even more if they caused the suffering. They are mentally or emotionally immature. Abusers are okay with bullying. Abusers dont want to protect others from abuse or bullying. They want get rid of rules or laws that help and protect others. Abusers dont care about the mental health or physical health of another living being. Its not you its their choice on how they want to deal with their trauma. When they are triggered they take out on you. Its not you
Dr Ramani you look so sweet and beautiful in this video in 2024, after years of helping and educating millions of people for free around the world to learn and understand why we fell apart after suffering from emotional invalidation and betrayal trauma. We all were withering away inside from those who we trusted so much. 🙏Healing wishes to all the broken hearts and minds to heal from this confusion from wondering what on earth was happening to us when stuck in this toxic loop🙏 Knowledge is power ❤ Thank you Dr Ramani, a radiant rose…blossoming with kindness and beauty after giving so much back to the world X❤️X
It's hard to admit to yourself that you are an enabler, that you benefit from the status quo and have fears you need to face in order to get into a healthier place in your life. Dr. Ramani talks about things no other narc expert has said. Many whoosh moments Ihave let go by. Thank you.
Thank you so much Dr. Ramani, for what you said about, "Forgiveness". They have made my entire life a running of the GAUNTLET OF PAIN, so I absolutely concur!
Thank you so much! I've had a hard time explaining my feelings and experience. People ask why dont have a good relationship or why dont you talk about you family member. I never had the capacity to realize and accept that i was deeply emotionally/mentally abused and ostracised by my family members. You've spotlighted the source of the problem. Now I have a chance to heal and have a better life! ❤🙏
It was very hard for me to walk away i felt so much guilt for doing that and after listening to this it has helped me to understand i was not all at fault so thankyou for helping me break that cycle that has kept me from moving on
Love you so much! I can’t believe the timing. Thank you for making so many of us. Many of us hurt stuck in bed many ways. I’m beginning to understand to make small changes. It was wild SA from rich father. I paid all the consequences of the conflict. I’m not willing to deal with this. I will find a family of love not abuse even if they’re wealthy
This is a wonderful podcast for survivors of narcissistic betrayal by ones we trusted that cared. When no only gaslight and best to run away asap. But it still hurts and we have to adjust our lives 😔 😪 not ever safe.
guys i love how both of you get older in a very beautiful way. (Dont ever do plastic surgery) watching you makes me feel am in your tribe your are my old friends and we all grow and also grow old together❤i love it!!! also I love the vibe in between you.
thank you so much for saying that shaming people for not forgiving is bullshit)) i felt a of of pressure from people about this when i said i would never forgive my boyfriend for cheating on me. 1,5 years later i still haven't forgiven. and i feel very confident that i have the right to feel what i feel and i don't care what others think about that
This was phenomenal! I am forever changed for the better. I did not understand Betrayal Blindness and have been beating myself up senselessly for missing to act on red flags from the narcissist. I can understand myself now and let it go. You guys are amazing. Thank you so much. ❤
Wow: this video gave ME clarity. I have to admit that what Dr Ramani has said about forgiveness has blown my mind because I was with sone of that GREAT old time religion. I am going to have to think about this for MY truth. But to be honest I will definitely consider what she is saying about forgiveness. This is about how you feel within youself. ❤️ And "morality" IS both an important word (tradition, rules, society, social groups, etc) as WELL as a word that gives pause to its "untouchability." What I mean, is the word morality is EASILY abused by power abuses.
I just filled out the form to hopefully win a free copy and I just want to type out how I’m so fascinated anytime Dr. Ramani gives out analogies to help viewers better understand what she’s teaching and my biggest takeaway was definitely the capacity part, knowing that other people have different capacities in areas of their lives and how it relates to relationships as well. Super great stuff I really love this live, so informative about what betrayal trauma is and what the grieving process is all about.❤
Brava! Dr. Ramani- simply wonderful- Thank you both Kyle and Dr. Ramani for offering this extraordinary video and resource with the book to us all. Extremely grateful. Thank you.
I love the part of forgiveness . Well I will never allowed my self to miss any of Her videos . She put her ideas is so interning way that enough is never enough . In a meaning always you feel some thing will come to you in so many form . Yes so glad I said to every one around exactly what she define forgiveness . I felt victory as it came for the expert . ❤🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
I can so relate to this everything is making sense. I have been out of an abusive relationship for almost two years now and am starting to heal. Thanks for this book.
Thank you 🙏 I feel so broken after my narcissistic ex betrayed me for the fourth time! And every time I was feeling myself ugly and not worth anything good. Still I feel abandoned now and heartbroken even after two months. I don't know how to make myself understand that, cause I understand with my mind how it works but my emotions get me back to missing him
Lots of good wishes to you Dr. Ramani.. Indeed She is providing healing & support to us. The forgiveness part was indeed amazing. That’s the reality. Forgiveness is a divine gift but we shouldn’t waste it for those who have taken ourselves from us..
I really can relate to the part about losing your sense of reality, hypervigilance, identity theft. Not trusting it is something i very much deal with.
The more I read and listen about Narcissitic behaviour I feel like im the narcissistic person in the relationship because after being betrayed, ignored and abused I still end up not wanting to leave the person.
I got the book for myself and my sister AND am listening to it via Audible...It's very helpful!!!! Thanks for this podcast. Kyle: You are a great interviewer!
Forgiveness is for me so I may have peace, Not for the other person. But of course I couldn't begin to do that until I removed myself from the narcissists, that's my experience anyway.
The second to last time i went to pick up some more of my thing to take to my Mom's, he was there but then took off. To meet friends. He didnt really have friends, and he took a box of stuff with him i wasnt supposed to see. Needless to say, the box didnt have things you take to see friends. I feel so stupid just realizing now, that all those times he'd storm out and be gone for hours, sometimes more than a day with no contact, he was meeting people sexually. I fully trusted him and i like to think im not an idiot, quite the opposite, but wow, this makes you wonder. I need a way to get passed hating him and wanting bad things for him. I cant get past this betrayal, im so broken and devastated. Starting new right now is proving to be very difficult.
Even though, I know the facts, the trauma is so powerful. When I try to talk to him about my feelings and needs (calmly and healthily) he takes no accountability, gaslights and projects all his toxic bullshit on me. He said, I’m not a whole person. And that’s what HE needs.( after saying he is sorry, that he is struggling with alcoholism and can’t give emotionally or spiritually right now)I know he’s projecting, talking about himself but nothing has hurt as much as that. I’ve struggled with PTSD and abuse for years before him and he knows that. I am shattered now because maybe im not whole. I’m completely broken because of him, i am financially dependent with a small child and even daily tasks feel impossible. He’s cutting me off and Without help, i will lose everything. I have no family to help me. I’m not whole because he broke me and left me shattered. He is a miserable toxic abusive human but he’s covert, so people think he is great. He hides behind a job that helps people. He took everything from me and blames me for everything. How do I go on for my daughter? I’m a broken person now, with no resources. He’s right, I’m not whole.😰💔
Reach out to help if possible. I am just learning about this type of person. I was a stay at home mom. He is the good guy. But I am trying online therapy. It has helped me to understand.
The thing that helped me most was reversing the roles…if I was the one who lied and who tried to use the other person wouldn’t I spend so much time and effort so they don’t notice?.??…much more time is spent protecting the lies than actually lying…the anger and blowing up when I ask simple questions was my evidence at the end…. I did in fact suffocate his stories…and he didn’t get what he wanted..I’m thankful !…but for a moment imagine how much effort the abuser put into fooling you..which if you left them didn’t even work…who is stupid now??
Thank you for this vid it truly helped me more then words can convey. I needed to hear every word to save my truth and bring me back to life. Aum and so it is ....
![Is it Because of Me? [Healing From Betrayal Trauma]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/g_vvxaHHDVw/mqdefault.jpg)
Dr. Ramani is like my UA-cam mother. I see her face and I feel safe, she’s helped me for years through her channel.
And her voice ❤
So true! ❤😊 it’s the same for me
Omg what a great way to describe her! Same here!! ❤
Same!!!! I would still be in my 14 years old narcissist relationship. I owe her my life 😭
Yessss she has gotten me through so much.
People also enable narcs because they don’t want to become the target. They essentially throw you under the bus.
That's so true!
OMG THANK YOU for the piece on forgiveness. Forgiveness in narcissistic families is too often weaponized - it absolutely was weaponized in my house growing up. But what really happened was that nothing ever changed, forgiveness just became a way to give the abuser permission to continue to mentally and emotionally harm you. I HATE how the forgiveness narrative has gotten so embedded into popular culture, it's basically become meaningless, and has actually allowed a lot of really harmful people to escape consequences for their actions.
To forgive don't means you have to stay. It means you have to accept nobody is perfect. Otherwise you are a narc too.
@@barbarabagatin8962NOPE. SO WRONG. This is exactly the type of victim blaming Dr. Ramani was talking about.
I wish for you hope and healing, grace and kindness for yourself and others 🙏
it says to forgive not for them but for you ...but dont stay GO
@@barbarabagatin8962
I agree to disagree with you.
Thank you so much!!!
The slot machine analogy was absolutely perfect example of staying for the scraps of good days
Knowledge is power.
Wisdom is empowerment.
And vice versa: empowerment is wisdom, too.
Alright mister AI
Dr Ramani has helped me greatly over this past year. My world came crumbling down around me less than a year ago when I realized my husband was psychologically, emotionally, mentally abusing me. I’m heartbroken that anyone could be so cruel. He knew I was previously in an extremely lonely marriage of almost 30yrs. And he used that information to manipulate and gaslight me.
🥰😥🤗
Mee too I'm still 8 months, no contact, and waiting for the 12 month divorce proceedings, after 19 yrs of the betrayal trauma was loved bombed into. I'm still feeling the hurt at times when I see a lovely couple holding hands, and I have to check the list in my head, that that was only during a love bombing stage, but went back to loneliness even living with him and sleeping with him. I am struggling to find something I like doing, I'm too old to go out now, it's no longer valid to seek another partner to share my life with because trust is been betrayed, in my whole life... But thank God I found Jesus who loves me for ever 🙏
I find that so much of healing from narcissistic abuse comes down to following your gut
I agree, and it comes from experience too- that gut sense/intuition you feel about a person.
@@jilladams7573 I mean like learning to trust your own intuition, because all your life you've been told you were wrong, you shouldn't feel that way. So not doubting yourself and reconnecting with your emotions is important.
@thisisntallowed9560 💯! And finding your voice is a big part of that, too.
100%✋
The point of understanding is realizing how victims *lose* their gut reactions
I cried when he said all those good things about Dr. Ramani and how she is helping us so deeply. Thank you to both of you for this wonderful healing conversation!
Couldn't agree more with Kyle, Dr. Ramani is a warrior, helping me and others heal and grow. Thanks for having her on the show. Can't wait to get her book.
my husband soon to be X just moved out, the entire last month, I watched Dr R, as I experienced Trauma bonding and helped me play the record backwards, I would run in my room and she would straighten me right out. Instead of letting the Gaslighting happen I ran and listed to her and unwound the feelings. Bless You Dr R. !
Good on you ..keep going keep getting better❤
That's my current process too
This channel is CRUCIAL and ESSENTIAL for my recovery and for SO MANY others! THANK YOU! Blessings. Maria
Dr Ramani is one of the 3 main facilitators of my healing from narc abuse.🎉❤🏆
Dr. Ramani has the correct answer for every question. She really knows her subject. Given me so much insight and help to understand and heal myself.
Thank you so much. ❤
Dr. Ramani… you are my gift. I am barely hanging on. I can’t believe that I’ve lasted almost 49 years. I thought no one would ever understand what it’s like to survive and physically, mentally and emotionally abusive narcissist mother and I am the scapegoat, easily thrown away. My dad is passive, all knowing and allows mother to do and say anything and my sister, the golden child. Thank you
I'm proud to say I received my book, the Audio, and the Kindle. Videos like this helps keep me sane today. I lost hope in the past, but that all changed now.
I love the praise you give Doctor Ramani because she truly deserves it. Her book is AMAZING. I was a little hesitant in ordering it because I know ‘it’s not me’ and like she says - everyone wants to read and know about the narcissist and not about the good person. Well, I want to let people know that this book is also about that antagonistic person in your life. It is such an incredible read. HIGHLY recommend it! I want to thank Doctor Ramani because she could've broken this book down into so many little ones and sold them separately, but she didn't. I would call this book the Bible on 'how to survive and thrive after or during a narcissistic relationship'. Upon knowledge that in this world narcissistic people exist, I have listened to possibly all of her videos (some twice). I can't thank her enough for her awesome work. I have commented on Doctor Ramani's video before that she is today world's modern super hero. She has helped and is helping so many of us. Thank you again. YOU. ARE. AWESOME! ❤️
P.S. Great video Kyle!! I always listen to you as well. 😊
Wow. Thank you for this information. It describes my husband and our marriage to the t!!
Me too
Red Flags are behaviors that if we were never taught to see as wrong and dangerous, are behaviors that we accept as normal, & don't run away from.
Growing up in a Narcissist Abusive household, I didn't recognize that these behaviors were dangerous, I thought they were normal relationship behavior s. So, when my partner became enraged and started throwing items at the wall, I would say to myself "that's OK, I am safe, he isn't throwing anything at me". Since I had grown up with items thrown at me by family members, I felt safer with my partner bc he didn't throw the items at me.
I didn't recognize any Red Flag behaviors from him ( & now I see that there were so many!), bc so many of his behaviors were just like those of my family.
Thank you Dr Ramani for the knowledge the validation the clarity that had me confused helpless panicked self loathing and blamed myself for the actions and behaviors that didn’t along to me as I am the scapegoat for everything and anything and isolated with a ice cherry of devaluation and shame.Learned very young that God and myself had to be the only things to be grateful to make it through every day without true family & support
What a life changer. I feel blessed to happen to been introduced to this wisdom and psychology after suffering too long from narcissistic abuse in family and even friendships. It is a grieving experience and painful but happy to know IT’S NOT ME lifts a HUGE burden. THANK YOU DR RAMANI ❤️
Dr Ramani is amazing! Her truth shines through with every word. Thank you!
This was so helpful to me. I’m feeling that sense of cognitive dissonance in realizing that my family is not safe for me. They all conspired to help my adult son with cognitive disabilities basically run away from my home to another state. He convinced them that he needed to escape right away and nobody even thought to ask me what was going on. He basically villainized me and my wife to everyone so they would help him move.. like he had to escape from us. When we found out their plans we told him to get out. So now we are the bad guys for kicking him out while also being the bad guys for trying to make him stay with us. I can’t trust my parents, my son, or my sister. I just recently told them all that I need space and set up a no communication boundary with them. It’s just so disorienting when you realize that the happy family you thought you had never really existed.
Ooooffff! I feel betrayed too. So sorry you had to go through that. Glad we have this space for healing…and grieving/purging what we’ve carried on us and in us. It’s been 48 years of slow food poisoning that I’m able to recognize and relieve myself from. It feels so icky. For me right now…I choose to forgive myself first. For not knowing what I was in as a child up to 50 y/o at present time. All of these years of therapy and trying to “work” on myself. No wonder…”it’s not me!” That never donged on me…🤯
You have no idea how much I needed to hear this right now and how much I appreciate what your doing. I’ve been through the ringer so much happened my mother helped her friend commit identity theft and fraud to the IRS and other federal programs in my name I started receiving letters in the mail a few weeks ago both affecting my taxes and health insurance I never thought she’d use being my mother in order to do what she’s done I actually went no contact months ago but a long standing pattern with her has been that she enjoys the pain and trauma she inflicts through others and by gaslighting me so I would have to accept the dangerous people she associated with because if we didn’t go along with it she made threats and attempts of self harm but I want to be clear that with all that’s happened I’m completely done with her and her side of the family because all they’ve done is enable her and guilt trip me into keeping my mouth shut not reporting her etc so I won’t be silent anymore and I am documenting everything.
So many podcast and this woman never repeats herself- top one👏
Thank you for: 1. Pointing me to start grieving and 2. Giving me permission to say it's o.k. to NOT forgive.
It’s really heartwarming to see Kyle and Dr. Armani back on a video together, especially since I started watching her thanks to MedCircle during the pandemic lockdown. Still such a great team-up!💖
Dr Ramani you are an angel. Thank you for dismantling the hold this relationship has on me. Listening to you you gives me perspective, affirmation, strength and freedom ❤️🙌
He took advantage of my greatest gift, generosity, that cuts deep! He did it with gaslighting and I responded with unconditional love and generosity, he will never have any one as good as me and I will for sure never have anyone as bad as him, lol Thanks Dr R!
Dr. Ramani is the absolute best. She is doing very powerful work & helping so many suffering and lost because this is a topic that very few know about or understand and is desperately needed. Thank you!
ty for this one❤❤❤it makes me think of how i feel when this happened to me and is happening on a daily basis.
YES! I was pressured to forgive my ex about 2 years after my divorce, and all that did was cause me to swallow my anger when I 😅was just beginning to really feel it. 18 years later, I'm finally letting myself feel all the rage and spite and hate and it's so freeing to admit that it exists! I will feel all of this until I'm done, and then I'll decide if I want to forgive, but it will be MY choice.
Learned to keep my friendships totally separate. I stopped doing “couple” sh*t together. I go out with MY friends and nurture those relationships alone… and have so much more fun. Narcissists are so BORING. Keep my life separate and don’t share deep stuff.
Dr Ramani I so appreciate your powerfully true insight. I have been whooshing to the top shelf all my life. And yes when it bites us it really hurts so badly. Waking up to the Truth of it is the other not caring for me. Dr. Ramani is such a gift to help us understand what really is going on in these very painful experiences. I would love a copy of your book.
I am so looking forward to reading your book Dr. Ramani. Thanks for being you and all you do to help us all get our life back.💜
The comfort you just gave me just by getting permission to have accepted this bad behavior is so healing . It healed the self gaslighting xo love you thank you
Love you too kyle xo thank you❤❤
Following years upon years of being betrayed multiple times by my spouse - even with my sister - the more lovers I discovered he had had, although hurtful to me, left me free to understand that it was never me or my failings - as he implied - but rather something in him he was trying to prove about himself, his inadequacies or perhaps his superiority.
Several years ago this site had a calm cool collected yet very aloof vibe. I called them on it.
What a beautiful warm, giving, heart felt site these two have provided. I am more than thankful! The open style is wonderful.
What an IMPORTANT work this woman is doing. I hope I could transfer it to my french speaking fellows. Thank you so much ❤
Signed up, and ready to be redirected out of this hell I have been made to believe was reality.
This woman never stop to amaze me with her knowledge ✨By now I’ve listened to hundreds of her talks and I’m still learning … thank you, thank you, thank you 🙏⭐️
Wow I have been divorced 23 years from my abusive narcissistic husband and this was revolutionary
Omgoodness always get what I need.
It’s like reading an Alanon book daily
When Kyle said his partner would choose drugs over him! My 24 yr marriage to a narc/addict. His last relapse was steroids & gym adoration
Wooosh he’s gone. My future is bright
Ty for this content💪🏻
I found my voice & the best decision i ever made was going no contact with an ex malignant narcissist who did unforgivable things to me during most of my life & i can thank the warrior herself Dr.Ramini who taught me & gave me permission to do so & low contact with my narcissistic mother who was his chief enabler
Im getting my son to order her book on Amazon for me as im not IT literate...i need to read this book
I have always enjoyed videos with you both , you have a lovely energy together & we've got this Kyle!
Abusers dont take responsibility and accountability for their own actions. They rarely say sorry and they blame others for their actions. Abusers enjoy harming others and they enjoy seeing people suffer. They enjoy the suffering they see even more if they caused the suffering. They are mentally or emotionally immature. Abusers are okay with bullying. Abusers dont want to protect others from abuse or bullying. They want get rid of rules or laws that help and protect others. Abusers dont care about the mental health or physical health of another living being. Its not you its their choice on how they want to deal with their trauma. When they are triggered they take out on you. Its not you
Dr Ramani you look so sweet and beautiful in this video in 2024, after years of helping and educating millions of people for free around the world to learn and understand why we fell apart after suffering from emotional invalidation and betrayal trauma. We all were withering away inside from those who we trusted so much.
🙏Healing wishes to all the broken hearts and minds to heal from this confusion from wondering what on earth was happening to us when stuck in this toxic loop🙏
Knowledge is power ❤
Thank you Dr Ramani, a radiant rose…blossoming with kindness and beauty after giving so much back to the world
X❤️X
A NEW BIRTHDAY FOR MYSELF!! what an amazing idea. thank you thanky ou
I NEED THAT BOOK
thank you for your time on these videos. they have helped me more than words can say
Dr Ramani is so attractive in every way..❤
It's hard to admit to yourself that you are an enabler, that you benefit from the status quo and have fears you need to face in order to get into a healthier place in your life. Dr. Ramani talks about things no other narc expert has said. Many whoosh moments Ihave let go by. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this episode. Your explanation of correct forgiveness is incredibly helpful!
Thank you so much Dr. Ramani, for what you said about, "Forgiveness". They have made my entire life a running of the GAUNTLET OF PAIN, so I absolutely concur!
Thank you so much! I've had a hard time explaining my feelings and experience. People ask why dont have a good relationship or why dont you talk about you family member. I never had the capacity to realize and accept that i was deeply emotionally/mentally abused and ostracised by my family members. You've spotlighted the source of the problem. Now I have a chance to heal and have a better life! ❤🙏
Thank you for this very helpful information. I can’t help to notice how pretty Dr. looks. That make up tone suits her very beautifully.
Agreed. She is gorgeous, inside and out. The white and ruffles are very complimentary to her essence 😊
It was very hard for me to walk away i felt so much guilt for doing that and after listening to this it has helped me to understand i was not all at fault so thankyou for helping me break that cycle that has kept me from moving on
I've always felt the same way about forgiveness and all this hit home for sure ✨️
You have no idea how much this recording is helping me. Thank you Dr Ramani.
Love you so much! I can’t believe the timing. Thank you for making so many of us. Many of us hurt stuck in bed many ways. I’m beginning to understand to make small changes. It was wild SA from rich father. I paid all the consequences of the conflict. I’m not willing to deal with this. I will find a family of love not abuse even if they’re wealthy
This is a wonderful podcast for survivors of narcissistic betrayal by ones we trusted that cared. When no only gaslight and best to run away asap. But it still hurts and we have to adjust our lives 😔 😪 not ever safe.
Thank you again Dr. Ramani for telling the stories of my life. They continue, but she gives me the courage and peace to keep living, to never give up.
guys i love how both of you get older in a very beautiful way. (Dont ever do plastic surgery) watching you makes me feel am in your tribe your are my old friends and we all grow and also grow old together❤i love it!!! also I love the vibe in between you.
thank you so much for saying that shaming people for not forgiving is bullshit)) i felt a of of pressure from people about this when i said i would never forgive my boyfriend for cheating on me. 1,5 years later i still haven't forgiven. and i feel very confident that i have the right to feel what i feel and i don't care what others think about that
Workplace bullying in the healthcare setting. This involves betrayal trauma.
This was phenomenal! I am forever changed for the better. I did not understand Betrayal Blindness and have been beating myself up senselessly for missing to act on red flags from the narcissist. I can understand myself now and let it go. You guys are amazing. Thank you so much. ❤
Wow: this video gave ME clarity. I have to admit that what Dr Ramani has said about forgiveness has blown my mind because I was with sone of that GREAT old time religion. I am going to have to think about this for MY truth. But to be honest I will definitely consider what she is saying about forgiveness. This is about how you feel within youself. ❤️ And "morality" IS both an important word (tradition, rules, society, social groups, etc) as WELL as a word that gives pause to its "untouchability." What I mean, is the word morality is EASILY abused by power abuses.
Like a frog in cold water in a pan slowly turning up the heat and by the time it starts to boil it's too late
Unless the frog is Bufo and you're trying to reach God 😅
I just filled out the form to hopefully win a free copy and I just want to type out how I’m so fascinated anytime Dr. Ramani gives out analogies to help viewers better understand what she’s teaching and my biggest takeaway was definitely the capacity part, knowing that other people have different capacities in areas of their lives and how it relates to relationships as well. Super great stuff I really love this live, so informative about what betrayal trauma is and what the grieving process is all about.❤
Brava! Dr. Ramani- simply wonderful- Thank you both Kyle and Dr. Ramani for offering this extraordinary video and resource with the book to us all. Extremely grateful. Thank you.
0:40 29:35 36:28
Forgiveness is a choice 57:17 59:15
🎉 49:07
Finished the book, love it...will reread as needed;-)
Forgiveness is not for the other person.
Thank You for finally giving me permission to say you don't deserve my forgiveness. I will take my grudge to he grave. 🎉
OH MY GODS! 🤦🏽♀️ I hope this book is on audio & read my Dr. Ramani!
I love the part of forgiveness . Well I will never allowed my self to miss any of Her videos . She put her ideas is so interning way that enough is never enough . In a meaning always you feel some thing will come to you in so many form . Yes so glad I said to every one around exactly what she define forgiveness . I felt victory as it came for the expert . ❤🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
💗💗 LONG live Dr. Ramani!!! 💗💗
LOVE this beautiful, courageous,
GENIUS of a person!
👏👏👏
I can so relate to this everything is making sense. I have been out of an abusive relationship for almost two years now and am starting to heal. Thanks for this book.
Thank you 🙏 I feel so broken after my narcissistic ex betrayed me for the fourth time! And every time I was feeling myself ugly and not worth anything good. Still I feel abandoned now and heartbroken even after two months. I don't know how to make myself understand that, cause I understand with my mind how it works but my emotions get me back to missing him
Lots of good wishes to you Dr. Ramani.. Indeed She is providing healing & support to us. The forgiveness part was indeed amazing. That’s the reality. Forgiveness is a divine gift but we shouldn’t waste it for those who have taken ourselves from us..
I really can relate to the part about losing your sense of reality, hypervigilance, identity theft. Not trusting it is something i very much deal with.
The more I read and listen about Narcissitic behaviour I feel like im the narcissistic person in the relationship because after being betrayed, ignored and abused I still end up not wanting to leave the person.
I got the book for myself and my sister AND am listening to it via Audible...It's very helpful!!!! Thanks for this podcast. Kyle: You are a great interviewer!
Yes💫💫💫Dr Raminis book is the Rand Mc Nelly through the topic of narc abuse Thank you for spreading your wisdom. The good will conquer the dark
It's always great seeing Kyle in your videos.
Such a sweetheart!
I think Dr. Ramani is great Dr Salerno is another great doctor on this subject.
Dr. Ramani you inspire me so much
Forgiveness is for me so I may have peace, Not for the other person. But of course I couldn't begin to do that until I removed myself from the narcissists, that's my experience anyway.
What an EXCELLENT interview/ Thank you . Lots of love sent your way .
Thank you with all my heart! Blessings!
Thank you for such amazing guidance during a very dark time of my life.
I'm going to give that top shelf in my closet a Spring Clean!
Thanks guys for this powerful video 💗
Can't believe the forgiveness question ❤ my favorite part
Thank you so much for your work. Dr Ramani, you should ask to translate your book. There are so few books available on abuses in French, by example.
Or Spanish.
I plan on buying Dr. Ramani's book soon - I highly recommend her last book Don't You Know Who I am
The second to last time i went to pick up some more of my thing to take to my Mom's, he was there but then took off. To meet friends. He didnt really have friends, and he took a box of stuff with him i wasnt supposed to see. Needless to say, the box didnt have things you take to see friends. I feel so stupid just realizing now, that all those times he'd storm out and be gone for hours, sometimes more than a day with no contact, he was meeting people sexually. I fully trusted him and i like to think im not an idiot, quite the opposite, but wow, this makes you wonder.
I need a way to get passed hating him and wanting bad things for him. I cant get past this betrayal, im so broken and devastated. Starting new right now is proving to be very difficult.
The LAST thing my mom said to me was "You're a Liar and you're Satan" and no one in the family thinks it's abnormal ! !
Wow, poor thing. I hope you're celebrating now, seeing her departure like a possibility of rebirth for your self, without her abuse. Take care 🙏
Can you heal and regain a healthy perspective after the betrayal? Is it possible to return to a normal mental state?
Even though, I know the facts, the trauma is so powerful. When I try to talk to him about my feelings and needs (calmly and healthily) he takes no accountability, gaslights and projects all his toxic bullshit on me. He said, I’m not a whole person. And that’s what HE needs.( after saying he is sorry, that he is struggling with alcoholism and can’t give emotionally or spiritually right now)I know he’s projecting, talking about himself but nothing has hurt as much as that. I’ve struggled with PTSD and abuse for years before him and he knows that. I am shattered now because maybe im not whole. I’m completely broken because of him, i am financially dependent with a small child and even daily tasks feel impossible. He’s cutting me off and Without help, i will lose everything. I have no family to help me. I’m not whole because he broke me and left me shattered. He is a miserable toxic abusive human but he’s covert, so people think he is great. He hides behind a job that helps people. He took everything from me and blames me for everything. How do I go on for my daughter? I’m a broken person now, with no resources. He’s right, I’m not whole.😰💔
Reach out to help if possible. I am just learning about this type of person. I was a stay at home mom. He is the good guy. But I am trying online therapy. It has helped me to understand.
The thing that helped me most was reversing the roles…if I was the one who lied and who tried to use the other person wouldn’t I spend so much time and effort so they don’t notice?.??…much more time is spent protecting the lies than actually lying…the anger and blowing up when I ask simple questions was my evidence at the end….
I did in fact suffocate his stories…and he didn’t get what he wanted..I’m thankful !…but for a moment imagine how much effort the abuser put into fooling you..which if you left them didn’t even work…who is stupid now??
I love learning about empathic and saintly people… I am rare perhaps.
Thank you for this vid it truly helped me more then words can convey. I needed to hear every word to save my truth and bring me back to life. Aum and so it is ....
NOBODY willingly lets another person abuse them.
Unfortunately… not true
@@THEREDBARON777 100% TRUE. People survive abuse
They are willing only because they haven't figured out how to get away from the abuser.
@@whatshername369 some don’t know it’s abuse, some don’t recognize their part in the cycle, some hope for the best…. In the abuser changing.
Agreed, nobody signs up for it. They're unwitting participants. What secondary narcs/enablers do is willing sign others up for abuse, like their kids
Thank you so much🎉 I won the book! Looking forward to reading it!