Half in the Bag Episode 126: Alien: Covenant

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

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  • @gregoryspoto929
    @gregoryspoto929 7 років тому +3389

    I love the irony of this whole series and its cinematic flaws. The earlier movies all have the underlying theme of corporate agendas and the company wanting the xenomorph at any cost. And now the actual films and universe are becoming messed up by the same agenda: more xenomorphs.

    • @rjs6854
      @rjs6854 7 років тому +146

      Gregory Spoto holy crap my mind is blown. Life imitates art I guess

    • @badopinionsrighthere
      @badopinionsrighthere 6 років тому +58

      Dude... Holy crap you nailed it

    • @BAMZ1ER
      @BAMZ1ER 6 років тому +4

      lol

    • @josephroszell
      @josephroszell 5 років тому +26

      Ya and the Phobos clip gives us the idea of the company picking the worst possible people for a job feels like a meta breaking the 4th wall moment just admitting he doesn't care to portray reasonable characters it's easier to write idiotic lemmings

    • @700Penguin
      @700Penguin 5 років тому +8

      Holy crap, that is a deep anal-ysis. You should win the Nobel prize for being a genius.

  • @Tempo_Topos
    @Tempo_Topos 7 років тому +501

    Covenant felt like two movies fighting for screen time. Prometheus 2 was doing its thing, but in the third act Alien 5 burst out of its chest.

    • @josiahbahuaud2294
      @josiahbahuaud2294 2 роки тому +17

      This is the best way I’ve ever heard this put. 👍🏾

    • @zetetick395
      @zetetick395 2 роки тому +16

      Alien Covenant - The best thing that can be said about it: At least it aint Terminator Genisys @_@

  • @rippedlampshade
    @rippedlampshade 7 років тому +2268

    This movie was missing 200 queens fighting 200 power loaders

  • @alessandroh10
    @alessandroh10 3 місяці тому +72

    can't believe it's been 7 years since this movie came out, time flies...

    • @ThisIsNeccessary
      @ThisIsNeccessary 3 місяці тому +15

      I just rewatched it tonight after having rewatched Prometheus a few nights ago.
      It made me appreciate Prometheus way more, and made me realize how "meh" I felt about Covenant

    • @De_liebste_un_beste_Mensch
      @De_liebste_un_beste_Mensch 2 місяці тому +1

      It's not even a movie

    • @XinwylFumudaiski
      @XinwylFumudaiski 2 місяці тому +2

      Have you seen Romulus yet? I thought despite some of the unnecessary callbacks it was solidly enjoyable

    • @RandyIsImba
      @RandyIsImba 17 днів тому

      True. I've just accidentally stumbled upon this 7 years old red letter media video and immediately went to check Covenant's imdb page to make sure I wasnt crazy

  • @Sylvia-lb8dw
    @Sylvia-lb8dw 3 роки тому +231

    I love when Mike and Jay are in VCR Repair shop because then I can look at the cute bear painting above Mike's head.

    • @gruntingskunk2237
      @gruntingskunk2237 4 місяці тому +3

      I love when you are in the comment section because then I can look at your cute profile photo above your comment 😀🤗😉👀

    • @gruntingskunk2237
      @gruntingskunk2237 4 місяці тому +4

      Oh wait, I thought you were my cousin, I’m sorry to bother you.

  • @kennywu8522
    @kennywu8522 7 років тому +2412

    Ridley Scott explained in an interview why the engineers wanted to kill us and I have no idea how we were suppose to know this from the movie but, The Engineers made us, they sent an "ambassador" of some kind, He came to Earth, We killed that guy and his name was Jesus. So the engineers got mad we killed Jesus, so half of them (the destroyers) wanted to kill us and the other half (creators) wanted to give us a chance, so they got into a huge battle and fought and killed one another (thats what we come across in Prometheus and the holograms of Engineers running and the piles of dead Engineer bodies) so when they wake one up, he was a Destroyer and tried to kill the humans. Im glad all that was so clear in the film.

    • @tissot233
      @tissot233 7 років тому +170

      You could not know it because the studio did not let it be shown as it was planned. In fear of getting people angry on the movie, and more so cutting that part of that religious group of people from paying for the movie. It is still very much hinted even on the current cut by the quoted time caps, but not outright explained like it was planned.
      I actually loved many of the themes on prometheus, even if the movie had many failings, like the crews often very illogical actions.
      Covenant feels like it wont satisfy the people looking for science fiction or the ones looking for moody horror. Science fiction story wise it feels like they are running to a corner and I'm not liking how that corner is looking like.

    • @vladdx
      @vladdx 7 років тому +51

      Nope, that's just a fan theory because of the bombing Earth being planned some 2000 years before.

    • @Shatamx
      @Shatamx 7 років тому +24

      vladdx Which blows. It seems David could find out why in AC. Instead of killing their entire population.

    • @porsche911sbs
      @porsche911sbs 7 років тому +129

      If you look closely at the "engineers" David slaughters, they appear different than the one seen in _Prometheus_. Also their architecture is different and more primitive.
      Which makes me believe that the planet seen in _Covenant_ was not an engineer world at all, but like Earth, a planet where the engineers seeded life. That, or it was an engineer colony, not their homeworld.

    • @olivierschroder337
      @olivierschroder337 7 років тому +22

      I actually got that from my first viewing. What else do people think those holograms were?

  • @KingOfMadCows
    @KingOfMadCows 7 років тому +925

    I can't believe Mike went the whole review without making a Star Trek reference about Michael Fassbender's characters being like Data and Lore.

    • @ryanmahon1
      @ryanmahon1 7 років тому +76

      KingOfMadCows their next video nicely cleared that up haha

    • @mBrajan
      @mBrajan 7 років тому +23

      right! or comparing the blue men leisure planet with Risa

    • @BardicLiving
      @BardicLiving 5 років тому +15

      Also at one point Lore is a disembodied head.

    • @kevinmchristiani
      @kevinmchristiani 3 роки тому +7

      What's star trek?

    • @Babasgaming28
      @Babasgaming28 3 роки тому +3

      16:30

  • @ErnestsLacis
    @ErnestsLacis 7 років тому +2960

    JAMES FRANCO DIED IN THE FIRST 20 SECONDS AND I CLAPPED

    • @michaelbush1374
      @michaelbush1374 7 років тому +59

      I was happy too lol

    • @AkilJacob
      @AkilJacob 7 років тому +30

      Rely? I like him as an actor. Is this like a bad joke or something?

    • @oontgrad
      @oontgrad 7 років тому +81

      Akil Jacob He is popular and likable, and that is enough for some people to hate him.

    • @m.s.b.8929
      @m.s.b.8929 7 років тому +23

      I CLAPPED TOO

    • @Greenerpastures1265
      @Greenerpastures1265 7 років тому +16

      i just couldnt stop laughing at the fact that he was in the movie to being with lol

  • @johnkalo24
    @johnkalo24 7 років тому +628

    Looking forward to Alien;Awakening. Where a team of scientists encounter the black goo and start drinking it, other plot points could be the team investigating something in the bottom of a lake, but forget diving equipment and drown immediately, the ending could be a sole survivor coming across a facehugger egg and using the latest scientific methods ram his whole head into the egg mouth first. Because fuck it man why not? science woooo

    • @isaacnickel
      @isaacnickel 5 років тому +15

      I laughed so hard 😆

    • @jahrta
      @jahrta 5 років тому +4

      I died

    • @youngboss2071
      @youngboss2071 5 років тому +11

      I like science aaaand math.

    • @reesetorwad8346
      @reesetorwad8346 5 років тому +16

      Or this: They discover a room with eggs, and somebody slips and faceplants on an egg, and the facehugger inside has this face come crashing into it's world and says wtf and tries to flee because everywhere in the universe that eggs exist, also has predators that eat eggs.
      But that would be world building. Which, as we all know, is wrong.

    • @JimmyJoeBob
      @JimmyJoeBob 5 років тому +1

      I love you.

  • @The1rust
    @The1rust 7 років тому +1049

    One hell of achievement that Ridley Scott performed. Not only did he make Prometheus better but he made Alien worse. He gave us Christmas only to later shit down the chimney.

    • @ZaleraArkanus666
      @ZaleraArkanus666 6 років тому +52

      The1rust Wow, that's just... Just an excellent way to put it.

    • @stuv1996
      @stuv1996 4 роки тому +31

      If you think that made Prometheus better you should check out its script. Completely different movie with more backstory. Jesus Christ was made by the engineers.

    • @busterfriendly6305
      @busterfriendly6305 2 роки тому +3

      Haha nice!

    • @ManOutofTime913
      @ManOutofTime913 Рік тому +2

      ​@@ZaleraArkanus666He got that from ICP.

    • @NoriMori1992
      @NoriMori1992 10 місяців тому +1

      If he made Prometheus _better_ in any way whatsoever, it must have started out unimaginably bad. Ugh.

  • @steveleeart
    @steveleeart 7 років тому +1443

    I think this was my favourite James Franco movie ever!

    • @vespenegas261
      @vespenegas261 7 років тому +290

      He really was on fire in this one

    • @CatLives9
      @CatLives9 6 років тому +65

      He was so hot in this

    • @Badenhawk
      @Badenhawk 6 років тому +4

      In all seriousness, “why him?” With James Franco and Brian Cranston was pretty funny, because I picture that James Franco lives his real life like the character in that movie haha.

    • @SmokiestJoe
      @SmokiestJoe 5 років тому +5

      He smouldered.

    • @Kirsten4260
      @Kirsten4260 4 роки тому +4

      His best performance yet imo :) Such a good actor!!

  • @GrandHeresiarch
    @GrandHeresiarch 7 років тому +661

    All I wanted from Covenant was an answer to Shaw's question of "why do they want to kill us?". Oh well.

    • @GrandHeresiarch
      @GrandHeresiarch 7 років тому +47

      Yeah fair point lol

    • @chantelleaustin3124
      @chantelleaustin3124 7 років тому +56

      They wanted to kill them for attempting to create life of their own (hence the freakout when meeting David)

    • @gordo_cabron
      @gordo_cabron 7 років тому +195

      Because we made Prometheus and Covenant, that's why.

    • @a.g.m8790
      @a.g.m8790 7 років тому +23

      Because fuck you

    • @zyker2156
      @zyker2156 6 років тому +45

      Ridley Scott said in an interview: "Jesus was an engineer and we know how that ended. They did as well and that's why".

  • @SILVER-zf2hu
    @SILVER-zf2hu 4 роки тому +362

    Forget the aliens. These movies should have just been about a mad scientist robot with a god complex trying to create the perfect organism. Instead of the xenomorph, come up with a new creature and boom, you got an original sci fi series.

    • @jimbobeire
      @jimbobeire 3 роки тому +48

      A mad scientist trying to create the perfect organism... like Frankenstein?
      Ever see an old copy of Mary Shelley's 'Frankenstein' with the full book title?
      "Frankenstein : The Modern Prometheus" .
      Weyland came up with a new type of sentient being, David
      Shaw tried to reanimate a dead head with a jolt of electricity
      David harvested Shaw's organs to adapt the Xenos.
      The entire lab on LV 223 was a bioweapons lab to breed Xenos, with 9ft tall albino _Igor_ going to Earth every few centuries to pick up fresh warm bodies as raw material for the lab.
      These films were 'Frankenstein' in space. Then David is quoting 'Ozymandias' which was published the same month as Mary Shelley's 'Frankenstein' and written by her husband Percy Bysshe Shelley .

    • @user-rm1jp6hf5h
      @user-rm1jp6hf5h 2 роки тому +11

      Studio can't forget the alien.
      Y'know, because of brand recognition, & money.

    • @jeffreydsmith6245
      @jeffreydsmith6245 2 роки тому +11

      The xenomorph being the failed science experiment of a robot with a god complex, accidentally let loose on the galaxy, because the robot doesn't know how to recycle; is a way better story than what we got.

    • @xemnufromthemagicplanet1678
      @xemnufromthemagicplanet1678 2 роки тому +2

      having him finally create the alien at the very end of the final film would be great

    • @javierk2143
      @javierk2143 Рік тому +5

      @@Wabajak13 I haven't watched Covenant but Prometheus had the potential to be a franchise by its own right. With a more refined script with less idiocy by certain characters it could have been a much better movie

  • @-cosmicrogue-
    @-cosmicrogue- 7 років тому +1733

    *The Force* was ancient, mysterious, space magic but then it turned out to be...cellular parasites?
    *Aliens* were horrific and bizarre creatures representing the vast, cold, unknown of space but now they're just genetically engineered monsters.
    Leaving certain things up to the audiences imagination is what adds mystique and depth to stories. Over-explaining when unnecessary can be damn destructive to franchises.

    • @GetToDaChoppa-k5r
      @GetToDaChoppa-k5r 7 років тому +119

      Michael Myers was the epitome of pure evil but then it turned out that he was just bullied as a child and cut the ears off rats.

    • @Zikk0_o
      @Zikk0_o 6 років тому +54

      Cosmic Rogue The difference is that the first alien movie hints that they are engineered or at the very least used by another intelligent species for some purpose. The alien franchise raised actual curiosity and questions that could have been answered if given the proper respect the series deserved.

    • @maginotline9601
      @maginotline9601 6 років тому +53

      RisingVictor 1. Calm down 2. The actual application of the force is just space magic, also what is the difference between an energy field that permeates everything and magic? Same concept, I’m pretty sure that if you replaced every instance of someone saying "the force" in Star Wars with "magic" the films would still work.

    • @durden2480
      @durden2480 6 років тому +10

      David: covenant

    • @y3ee3e
      @y3ee3e 6 років тому +21

      There were murals of xenomorphs in the "big head room" of Prometheus. Suggesting that they werent "engineered"

  • @TekniQx
    @TekniQx 7 років тому +510

    This movie was incredibly disappointing...
    And the biggest thing that can be taken away from this film was: DON'T BRING MARRIED COUPLES INTO SPACE AS CREW! "Hey guys, I gotta make sure my wife is okay! I don't care if 2,000 colonists well-being are put at risk... It's ALL ABOUT MY WIFE!"

    • @just_matt214
      @just_matt214 7 років тому +17

      ORE NO WAIFU

    • @MegaZeta
      @MegaZeta 6 років тому +3

      It's called "theme" and just because this movie couldn't stick it doesn't mean that movies should determine character through beep-boop robot assembly line logic

    • @thundercleez7699
      @thundercleez7699 6 років тому +5

      "this movie was great because danny mcbride risks 2,000 lives because of the power of love!!!" hey,kid. nice emotional logic you have there but you're not as deep or smart as you try to appear.Youxre actually pathetically shallow in your attempt to seem nuanced lol

    • @TekniQx
      @TekniQx 6 років тому +20

      +thunder cleez - Uh... What about my post said I was trying to be deep, smart, or nuanced? I left a overly-simplistic comment/statement for a reason. This movie REALLY sucked, and I took one dumb example from the movie just to show how many fucks I gave about it.

    • @Redmanticore
      @Redmanticore 5 років тому +8

      that´s kind of a scary thing about space missions. if one couple forms, that can fuck up the very delicate balance for everyone. maybe i would even trust that "mother" ship artificial intelligence more than humans.

  • @cuthbertmuckley9773
    @cuthbertmuckley9773 7 років тому +143

    Can't wait for the Jaws backstory. Who is jaws? Who created jaws? Who created the concept of lifeguards?

    • @ManOutofTime913
      @ManOutofTime913 Рік тому +12

      Jaws was a young shark whose mother was killed by humans which gave it an intense hatred of all humans. Then it swam through toxic waste dumped into the ocean by evil corporations which gave it enormous size and strength and started attacking people. This causes humans to start attacking sharks more which causes other sharks to fight Jaws but Jaws beats them. Then the movie ends.

    • @jez76
      @jez76 Рік тому +1

      David Hasselhoff is definitely involved.

    • @SpaghettyLuvsU
      @SpaghettyLuvsU 3 місяці тому

      @@ManOutofTime913 The mother was, of course, killed by Quint's father, and the evil corporation was called BrodyCo.

  • @arn999
    @arn999 3 роки тому +29

    Jay’s transformation from the Prometheus review to this one is quite something.

  • @radioflyer68911
    @radioflyer68911 5 років тому +61

    In the original Alien movie the space jockey was a giant, much larger than these "engineers".

  • @benbalko2656
    @benbalko2656 5 років тому +291

    It’s standard protocol, we always carry at least one empowered female on our ships.

    • @billyd78
      @billyd78 3 місяці тому +2

      It's 2024 now and man you had no idea.

  • @TheNervousnation
    @TheNervousnation 7 років тому +240

    There are too many damn cooks in this damn Alien kitchen

    • @Enkarashaddam
      @Enkarashaddam 5 років тому +6

      ...and ironically all it needs is 1 HR Giger

    • @zetetick395
      @zetetick395 4 роки тому +4

      Plus the Xeno-dinner has gone completely cold and lumpy, then been reheated again..... *6 times in a row* 🤢

  • @ArkhanNightman
    @ArkhanNightman 7 років тому +1064

    Giving an origin story to the aliens also kinda ruins the original point with them of being a mysterious and entirely unknown.

    • @pluckyduck11y
      @pluckyduck11y 7 років тому +16

      Yes, and no. Because no matter what "origin" is provided, we can continue to ask the same question everyone has been asking since the dawn of human consciousness. They can attempt to explain who created humans and who created the xenomorphs, but then we can ask who created the engineers? Origins within origins.

    • @smileydog5941
      @smileydog5941 7 років тому +70

      pluckyduck11y
      Who cares. That isn't important. Can't wait for Creature of the Black Lagoon origin story

    • @ArkhanNightman
      @ArkhanNightman 7 років тому +132

      The Xenomorphs don't need an origin story. They work better as a terrible thing that lurks in the depths of space, have a cruel indifference towards other lifeforms and it being something we don't understand why it would exists.
      Just making it a genetically engineered monster turns it into something mundane.

    • @charlesdecharleroy7209
      @charlesdecharleroy7209 7 років тому +40

      Exactly. The explanation of the mystery is never as interesting as the mystery, which is why most mystery stories save the reveal for the very end. Once you know the story, there's no tension anymore. And then to keep dragging it back AFTER the reveal... that'd be like the same killer in a "Murder She Wrote" episode returning over and over and doing the same thing every time. Horror, especially, depends of the 'fear of the unknown'. Having an explanation for these otherworldly monsters and making them more and more overcomplicated ruins the terrifying simplicity of them in the original film. Even in "Aliens" having so many of them running around and a Queen made the film a space action movie, not a suspenseful space thriller. The series has become akin to "Friday the 13th", where the aliens are now the slasher in the hockey mask. You know everything that's going to happen the instant the movie is announced and only the decreasing number of people still fascinated by the repetitious schlock and stupid characters being slaughtered one by one are coming back.

    • @Dimetropteryx
      @Dimetropteryx 7 років тому +35

      I disagree that it ruins anything, but if they absolutely wanted an origin explained then the least stupid would be this: It's a naturally evolved organism with a home planet where it actually just occupies an ecological niche and where it has its own set of natural enemies and prey. That's it. No ancient aliens, no creationist dumbassery, no religious crap. Just another species wreaking havoc after being removed from its natural habitat.

  • @RoboBoddicker
    @RoboBoddicker 7 років тому +54

    My favorite part was when Daniels unlocked the concept art.

  • @veganTOOL
    @veganTOOL 7 років тому +1280

    "I'll do the fingering"- David

    • @decenthumans
      @decenthumans 7 років тому +3

      Lol!

    • @tonypio9815
      @tonypio9815 7 років тому +29

      "Yeah, put your stick in his mouth" - my perverted thoughts

    • @ryanmpfeiffer
      @ryanmpfeiffer 7 років тому +40

      I fucking lost it when he said that and I heard some people behind me snickering too.

    • @livkivi
      @livkivi 7 років тому +44

      David was teaching his brother how to blow, while he was doing the fingering.
      Can't believe I just wrote that sentence.

    • @LuchadorBenDejo
      @LuchadorBenDejo 7 років тому +28

      I got up to use the bathroom during the movie, and I came back to that scene. I was pretty confused, and yet, oddly intrigued.

  • @daneone5576
    @daneone5576 6 років тому +1240

    Ridley Scott sure has a thing for short haired tomboy women

    • @cadkls
      @cadkls 5 років тому +100

      Basically lesbians

    • @deucifer4170
      @deucifer4170 5 років тому +386

      Can you blame him though?

    • @VargVikernes1488
      @VargVikernes1488 4 роки тому +139

      Each new iteration is worse, though. Ripley was super hot, Shaw was alright and the Covenant girl was just ugly.

    • @gharju
      @gharju 4 роки тому +31

      i wish your mom was a short haired lesbian!

    • @isabellaoliveira2092
      @isabellaoliveira2092 4 роки тому +21

      i like them more

  • @teddyharvester
    @teddyharvester 5 років тому +285

    Ridley should just make weird, beautifully shot philosophical sci-fi movies with ancient races and exploration of transhumanism, just not put the alien in them.

    • @funasylumstudio
      @funasylumstudio 2 роки тому +6

      He literally just did that in Raised By Wolves which is the weirdest shit imagineable

    • @shadymcnasty5920
      @shadymcnasty5920 2 роки тому +9

      @@funasylumstudio raised by wolves was a let down. At first it seemed like it was going to be philosophical and deep. But it devolved into nonsensical shlock

    • @zetetick395
      @zetetick395 2 роки тому +8

      But the alien is how he got ppl to throw gold nugs into the production pouch

    • @thefinestsake1660
      @thefinestsake1660 2 роки тому

      at this point, he would fail.

  • @SteveRudzinski
    @SteveRudzinski 7 років тому +382

    I like that they try to claim David invented the Xenomorph even though Prometheus has a mural specifically to show the Xenomorphs already existed (not even including the Engineer in Alien being so old he's fossilized among other canon references to the Xeno before this film).

    • @andrewfederici2233
      @andrewfederici2233 7 років тому +26

      Steve Rudzinski But that could just be a Deacon maybe. It seems like the Xenomorphs basic features carry over between iterations so maybe a similar creature had already existed but David refined it into what we know

    • @porsche911sbs
      @porsche911sbs 7 років тому +30

      David himself claims this, and why do you believe him? He's delusional. Other engineers did create the xenomorph before David did.

    • @pluckyduck11y
      @pluckyduck11y 7 років тому +17

      I forget what part David might have explicitly claimed to have originated the xenomorphs. There was a lot of information in these two movies, Prometheus and Covenant. As far as I am concerned, it just seems like a lot of people making big presumptions, such as David wiping out all the engineers. Yes we see him lay waste to a city of engineers. How do we know that's all there are in the universe? People see David created eggs, but why should we assume he was the first to? Why is it not possible that the engineers could have experimented long before David and created similar if not the same eggs? People assuming so much is more of the problem than whatever issues there are with the movies.

    • @TheJakescott1515
      @TheJakescott1515 7 років тому +9

      Steve Rudzinski My theory and the likely scenario is as follows Through Prometheus we see that the black goo has the ability to manipulate organic beings into Xeno type bio weapons (deacon and mural). David has simply found a way to manipulate it to be more easily adapted to human hosts. He is tinkering with an already existing weapon. His xeno is different from the classic one which likely resulted from a different mean along a different, Likely engineer based design. The OG alien design was more in line with the warrior class engineers bio mechanical design they have infused with their own bodies. this combined with a human host resulted in the classic xeno we saw in the original alien. Basically David has created his own variant based on engineer bio tech but his is more organic because his template was Shaw and not a bio mechanical engineer.

    • @XenomorphLV426
      @XenomorphLV426 7 років тому +2

      You don't think the engineers created the xenomorph at one point?

  • @eyesoresoob
    @eyesoresoob 5 років тому +32

    Everybody seems to think this is Ridley Scott's story that he's continuing.
    Dan O'Bannon (and to some degree Ronald Shusett) wrote the script. Ron Cobb and Gieger gave us the iconic images.
    Scott just conducted the Orchestra.
    He has no business writing the music.

  • @newdefsys
    @newdefsys 2 роки тому +27

    The original Alien did offer a sort of prequel story. The 'Company' obviously knew of the xenomorph organism to some extent. And they knew of events on LV-426. The Company had already determined that the organism had value and that is why they replaced the doctor with Ash.
    So, plenty of prequel story to work forward from. But instead we got Prometheus, , , 🙄

  • @sirpepeofhousekek6741
    @sirpepeofhousekek6741 6 років тому +172

    Why did David "upgrade" to the Facehuggers and Xenomorphs when the flying goo pollen and Neomorphs were far more effective?

    • @kevinsmoon3257
      @kevinsmoon3257 5 років тому +7

      Kyle Lambert i know this comment is a bit late but in the book the neomoroh and the xenomorph fight and the xenomorph beats the fuck out of the neomorph it literally disembowels the neomorph. Thus showing that the xenomorph is far deadlier than the neomorph

    • @HarshNerf
      @HarshNerf 4 роки тому +25

      @@kevinsmoon3257 shut up nerd, no one cares about books!

    • @tastycookiechip
      @tastycookiechip 4 роки тому +6

      @@HarshNerf Fuck off

    • @HarshNerf
      @HarshNerf 4 роки тому +12

      @@tastycookiechip 🔄

    • @PalladianPD
      @PalladianPD 4 роки тому +13

      @@christophzeit6282 what's that on the floor next to dead Noomi, is that the script?

  • @HexIsme
    @HexIsme 7 років тому +670

    New Aliens franchise should be renamed to Rapey Things VS Strong Female Character.

    • @samueldaniel9584
      @samueldaniel9584 7 років тому +8

      Hex Isme well in Covenant it's a little bit like Creepy Android VS Strong Female Character

    • @HexIsme
      @HexIsme 7 років тому +29

      Gloknox Creepy android is still also rapey. RE: Forced kissing scene(s).

    • @billycrystalsyndrome
      @billycrystalsyndrome 7 років тому +22

      Can't you just say that about every Alien movie? LOL

    • @CarloisBuriedAlive
      @CarloisBuriedAlive 6 років тому +16

      Hex Isme “strong” only fully applies to Ripley though haha. Maybe Short-Haired Female Character

    • @harkejuice
      @harkejuice 6 років тому +13

      Funny enough, the original design in Alien was meant to give the impression of a woman, with all the curves with the ability to forcefull penetrate, ie the creepy mouth, the tail, the chest burster. Sort of a nightmare for the sexually insecure, its what made it creepy besides the tension and structure. Geiger's designs really just cemented all those together in a great package.

  • @JesterfaceBassplayer
    @JesterfaceBassplayer 7 років тому +68

    I rarely say " This sucks" out loud halfway through a movie, but this clusterfuck was such an occasion. I'm a fan of Giger, H.P. Lovecraft and the retro sci-fi horror theme of the first movie, so you hit a few good points when you talk about the "mystery" and "Fear of the unknown".

  • @freeriding666
    @freeriding666 7 років тому +58

    The black goo is taken straight from the X-Files "black oil". This is full plagiarism.

    • @josephroszell
      @josephroszell 5 років тому +4

      Add some generic sci fi life origin let's call it Star Trek and the rest is fuvking avp with space helmets and Ridley masturbating over shaw

  • @rmv500
    @rmv500 7 років тому +166

    this film literally gave me rage induced diarrhea. im surprised Mike didnt tear into it more.

  • @extantia
    @extantia 7 років тому +83

    The aliens in the X-Files created the black goo. Remember in the series and the first X-Files film? In the first episode of season 6 ("The Beginning") a biologist gets infected by the black goo and an alien incubates inside him and bursts out. This also happens to a fireman in "The X Files: Fight the Future". That was in 1998, nearly 20 years ago! How unoriginal could the creators of Prometheus I and II be?

  • @MrLebowski1980
    @MrLebowski1980 7 років тому +531

    Killing shaw,the only decent character in Prometheus with an interesting story path,was yet another example of the alien franchise shooting itself in the foot.Covenant was a pointless movie.

    • @scythe5944
      @scythe5944 7 років тому +34

      Alien: Covenant was suppose to be part 3 of a 4-6 movie series. Fox and Ridley skipped the 2nd movie that covered David and Shaw's story due to believing it would have fared worse than Alien: Covenant, due to fan backlash of Prometheus's lack of aspects that Alien movies have.

    • @MikeHarrisHazchem77
      @MikeHarrisHazchem77 5 років тому +30

      💯 agree..Seeing her blast off at the end of Prometheus I was well looking forward to the next one..

    • @politicallycorrectredskin796
      @politicallycorrectredskin796 5 років тому +35

      They should just give up They will NEVER replicate Signourney Weaver. And for a simple reason. Back in the 1980s when we were more advanced, having a female lead was normal and no biggie. That is why they were able to write Alien in a non-gender specific way. They wrote everything and then just cast whomever they liked in the roles.
      In this primitive, sexist society though, having a WAHMEN lead has to be a Big Deal, as if it has never happened before! And to mark this momentous occasion, that female lead has to be absurdly perfect. So she can have no weaknesses, everyone must love her and she can never be in any danger of dying at all. Unless killed off screen between movies I guess. And to double our chances of succeeding with this sexist writing, the male characters must be made extra stupid. ALL HAIL THE GREAT VAGINAH!
      And this is really why movies suck these days. Untalented, political fruitcakes write all the scripts.

    • @politicallycorrectredskin796
      @politicallycorrectredskin796 5 років тому +7

      @@Movie Crazed Yes Shaw was alright. But again mostly because all the characters around her were written as morons to make her look good. "Feminist" writing, 101 right there, and it is bad.
      Of course it is how they used to write roles for the bad male "action heroes" too. Like Sly in the awful Rambo series, where he was made to look amazing by enemies who never used cover. Or van Damme, Arnold or Segal. In fact my second name for this kind of writing is the "van Damme", because this is what he would always do as well.
      And it is of course the main reason why all his movies were shit and why anyone with an IQ above 50 don't remember a single one of them. And now it is why almost all current movies are shit. There is always some WAHMEN who gets the van Damme treatment in movies now, and it is still shit. It will never stop being shit.

    • @patkawasaki
      @patkawasaki 4 роки тому +3

      Killing of Michael Biwhn's Hicks was such a wrong turn at the start of Alien 3, and the franchise has never recovered. I still enjoyed Alien 3, btw, but these last 2 have been such disappointments, and apparently written by dickheads.

  • @scarney29
    @scarney29 7 років тому +157

    This is the result when an interesting story (alien) comes into contact with black goo.

    • @charlesdecharleroy7209
      @charlesdecharleroy7209 7 років тому +30

      Even the X-Files died when they focused too much on black goo. That should have been a lesson. Goo monsters belong in cheesy B-movies.

    • @johnbanks8269
      @johnbanks8269 5 років тому +1

      Ooze Shane. Ooze.

  • @MeerkatChris
    @MeerkatChris 7 років тому +136

    The Aliens just looked far too CGI amongst all these practical sets, even if they weren't CGI in reality... And they had too much of a spotlight on them, taking away all of their menacing nature.
    I also said that I think the film would have been much more interesting had they left out most, if not all of the Alien stuff entirely...

    • @pluckyduck11y
      @pluckyduck11y 7 років тому +5

      Yeah but a lot of people care about the classic iconic alien. I read reports of people cheering when the xenomorph showed up. Can we just agree that it's hard to please everyone?

    • @MeerkatChris
      @MeerkatChris 7 років тому +15

      pluckyduck11y I completely agree. I love the classic Xenomorph! I think I would have preferred them to have made Covenant more in the vein of Prometheus, focusing less on the classic "Aliens" and have kept the Neil Blomkamp idea for a proper full on Alien sequel as well. I think that, despite been very confusing, that MIGHT in some way have helped with this situation, aha

  • @prince_dogboy
    @prince_dogboy 6 років тому +267

    One of my biggest peeves with science fiction films is that these highly trained scientists, soldiers and everyone else completely lose their shit and make the stupidest decisions possible!

    • @cadkls
      @cadkls 5 років тому +28

      A lot of people forget their training when faced with an actual critical situation. It's a known phenomena.

    • @Stoutaragua
      @Stoutaragua 4 роки тому +3

      But those decisions get overridden by studio management and turned into "improved and better" decisions.

    • @PalladianPD
      @PalladianPD 4 роки тому +19

      It's because the plot has to happen.

    • @jothishprabu8
      @jothishprabu8 4 роки тому +3

      Yeah, They shouldn't have wasted time looking for jonese.

    • @monsieurcondottiero2685
      @monsieurcondottiero2685 3 роки тому +11

      That’s what was so fun about the original alien. They’re a bunch of space truckers trying to solve a problem together, acting like real people. Idk maybe scientists have a tendency to spazz out on scientific expeditions when shit starts to get scary

  • @avnub66
    @avnub66 7 років тому +417

    Ok so this is the Alien franchise in a nutshell:
    *Prometheus*: philosophical stuff about the origins of mankind with stupid characters and stuff that doesn't make a lot of sense
    *Alien Covenant*: weird B-movie horror flick that tries to be philosophical but has stupid stuff in it and stupid characters
    *Alien*: horror masterpiece with claustrophobic atmosphere and realistic characters with a deeper meaning underneath
    *Aliens*: amazing action movie with some of the best practical effects of all time and likeable characters
    *Alien 3*: weird episode of Star Trek
    *Alien Resurrection*: a video game movie with video game movie characters and xenomorphs
    *AVP*: corporate hacks want money
    *AVP2*: still want money and there are people stupid enough that are willing to give money to watch it
    What a fucking franchise

    • @irllcd13
      @irllcd13 6 років тому +26

      Alien franchise: One good movie, one great movie and a whole lot of shit.

    • @janp5063
      @janp5063 5 років тому +1

      I also think it wasnt a bad movie but it needed more action and better character.
      I mean its took many stuff from the classic AvP comic just repleaced the female asian lead with a black one and in the comics a whole colony gets fucked up but in AvP you got 4-5 Aliens + the Queen. Also the mix with H.P. Lovecrafts Mountain of Madness was great but could be done better. @@ThreadBomb

    • @bigmanroadman3910
      @bigmanroadman3910 5 років тому +5

      avnub I know this is an unpopular opinion but I think alien 3 is the worst because it’s boring and most characters are unlikeable when at least resurrection was funny-bad same with AVP.

    • @jonnya4209
      @jonnya4209 5 років тому +1

      "Fu*king 'A'"

    • @Beer_Dad1975
      @Beer_Dad1975 5 років тому +14

      2 out of 8 isn't bad by modern franchise standards.

  • @davidlennox6242
    @davidlennox6242 4 роки тому +116

    I'm seriously convinced that the only good alien media to have come out in the past ten years was Alien: Isolation. Seems to combine every good element of the first film with the immediate suspense and terror that a horror game can give you.

    • @toasty862
      @toasty862 2 роки тому +8

      facts.

    • @caffeinated4671
      @caffeinated4671 7 місяців тому +1

      Yet Redlettermedia shat all over it and chose the most ridiculously worded comments and clips from the game to make their points seem better.

    • @tehchikon
      @tehchikon 5 місяців тому +1

      That game is booty.

    • @FungWarb12
      @FungWarb12 3 місяці тому +1

      Yes except for the fact that if was kind of stretched out.
      By the end of the end of the game the fear / terror gave way to fatigue, at least for me.

    • @grav4706
      @grav4706 3 місяці тому

      ​@@FungWarb12agreed. Isolation would have been way better as a film tbh

  • @Suitswonderland
    @Suitswonderland 7 років тому +50

    I was gonna walk out but I paid for a premium seat but man I was counting down the moments until I could get the fuck out of there

  • @esotericVideos
    @esotericVideos 7 років тому +38

    10:12
    "It turns out David WAS a secret asshole." After all these years I finally have closure to this question.

  • @CertifiedGhoul
    @CertifiedGhoul 7 років тому +459

    this movie really alienated it's audience

    • @CertifiedGhoul
      @CertifiedGhoul 7 років тому +1

      Tyler Olson ty ty

    • @CertifiedGhoul
      @CertifiedGhoul 7 років тому +2

      Majora Squarepusher. let's be friends

    • @billied2003
      @billied2003 7 років тому

      ur avatars are gay

    • @Thegeobot
      @Thegeobot 7 років тому

      Jake Nash ba dum, tss!

    • @filrut
      @filrut 7 років тому

      I salute you for your fine pun and your Aphex Twin avatar.

  • @PlaylistGeneral
    @PlaylistGeneral 3 місяці тому +13

    Oh god this came out 7 years ago!!! Jesus fuck that bold arrow of time

  • @TheVCRTimeMachine
    @TheVCRTimeMachine 7 років тому +668

    This is the problem; Backstory is backstory for a reason. The backstory of Darth Vader did not need to be told, nor stretched out over 3 movies. We don't need to know why the Great White Shark from Jaws was eating people. It just does. We don't need to know how the Aliens were created or where they came from. They are just supposed to be scary.
    The only backstory that has worked for me so far has been the current Planet of the Apes films. But 99% of the time backstory is pointless and awful.
    Basically, just go back and keep watching Alien and Aliens over and over again and ignore all this crap.

    • @Relugus
      @Relugus 7 років тому +46

      Imapotato Jaws: The Beginning, Jaws: Swimming with Sharks, Jaws: Revelation

    • @FunnyBecauseItsTrue
      @FunnyBecauseItsTrue 7 років тому +80

      ...the backstory of Anakin Skywalker actually COULD have made a great prequel trilogy...we didn't, however need to be told that Darth Vader made C-3PO...

    • @CrniWuk
      @CrniWuk 7 років тому +1

      I dunno, the Prequel to Jaws will be pretty intense though!

    • @awonoto
      @awonoto 7 років тому +19

      Well, the origin story of Don Vito Corleone worked...

    • @middlebit
      @middlebit 7 років тому +22

      ajipon But only because it made a point about Michael Corleone. The point of that movie was to show how and why father and son are different.

  • @Blingblingham
    @Blingblingham 7 років тому +25

    You didn't even cover how they sped up the Alien lifecycle... They all grow faster now. Apparently they go from spore to man sized in a few hours now? And the one David spawned from the Captain apparently grew to full size in 5 minutes...

  • @jcaashby3
    @jcaashby3 7 років тому +363

    Sometimes it feels like writers are purposely trying to ruin franchises. The scene with david arriving to the planet and doing what he does is for me like the writers just BURNING everything that was interesting about Prometheus.

    • @kobrien4121
      @kobrien4121 7 років тому +13

      jcaashby3 That was the best scene in the whole movie

    • @jcaashby3
      @jcaashby3 7 років тому +24

      @K OB it was a great scene no doubt visually but was a letdown as far as seeing live engineers on a planet.

    • @kressnik
      @kressnik 7 років тому +24

      So david created aliens, you admit it? Then why the fuck these aliens have fully functional and strong arms and legs at birth and it takes fucking seconds for facehugger to plant eggs into its victim? What happened to those aliens that are like snakes when they are born, and those hours it takes for facehugger to take off? Or maybe you wish to explain why the fuck computers in Alien use old ass equipment, while in covenant and prometheus they can create fucking holograms?

    • @jcaashby3
      @jcaashby3 7 років тому +6

      @movie fan
      I appreciate all your thoughts as a fan of the series but after watching Covenant I dont think Ridley or the writers have even thought that far or deep about the timeline or story.
      Some of the problems I had with this movie is when sequels dont follow there own rules set up by prior movies. Example is Alien 3.....a egg just showing up in the sleep chamber!! And ONE solo face hugger implanting Ripley with a queen AND implanting the dog.
      Never has that ever happened. BUT for the plot they made it happen.
      With covenant...we have the AIRBORNE goo....getting into 2 humans and thus spawning the white looking aliens from them in less then a hour I would assume (could be longer but seemed pretty fast in the movie)..but in Prometeus we see no character who are exposed to the same goo affected this way.
      Also the Alien goes from birth to FULL size very very fast....faster then we have ever seen in ANY Alien movie. That was very jarring. Especially the one that was on the ship at the end.
      And the one that was released on the ship. So now facehuggers can impregnate humans in seconds?? The guy with the burned face had a hugger attack him and from what I saw never even got his dick lol or whatever down his throat. But yet later on he has a Alien pop out of him (that we dont even SEE happen) Now correct me if im wrong and that Alien came from somewhere else? Maybe David put a hugger on him and it just got cut out so the identity of David is still secret?

    • @kressnik
      @kressnik 7 років тому +13

      So facehugger needs that much time to let the victim go? What the actual fuck are you saying? Why does it even need to hold so tight for so long, if all it takes is to just a freaking second?
      If this is a different type of Alien, where did "xenomorph" come from? David evolved it? So David willingly made aliens weaker? Because if you honestly think being a snake-like thing is more advantageous than having fully functioning limbs at birth, then you are a dumbass. Same applies if you think that growing to a full sized creature in a matter of minutes is less advantageous that taking hours to do so.
      And I will nitpick the shit out of the newer tech, because consistency is not just a fucking suggestion in storytelling. You and Scott should really learn that. Alien: Isolation could keep those old computers, why couldn't Scott?
      And why the hell did space jockey have those eggs, if David invented them? This is simply retarded. Oh, and let's not forget that bullshit you try to pass as a great idea, saying that it is okay for producers to say "Kane misjudged the fossilization", because he has to be a fucking inbred, to think that stone-like material and regular dead tissue is the same thing.

  • @scaratop7324
    @scaratop7324 7 років тому +23

    I hope there's a future where there is a Dunston checks in origin story

  • @dagrimmreepa
    @dagrimmreepa 7 років тому +19

    I found it weird that they skipped the chest burster. the alien comes out fully formed, just tiny.

  • @nono9543
    @nono9543 7 років тому +629

    Should have been called Don't.
    Alien: DON'T... Just please don't.

    • @jonnyboy07
      @jonnyboy07 7 років тому +28

      Wow. That's a good joke.

    • @abnryacehilm6423
      @abnryacehilm6423 7 років тому +28

      If you are...
      ...thinking...
      ...of seeing...
      ...this movie...
      DON'T.

    • @RacinZilla003
      @RacinZilla003 7 років тому +4

      *YOU CAN'T!* *DON'T EVEN TRY!!*

    • @HalfDecentTrashCollection2001
      @HalfDecentTrashCollection2001 6 років тому +1

      Just watch Alien, Aliens, and then read the Earth War/Female War arc, then just stop there.

    • @josephroszell
      @josephroszell 5 років тому

      Alien:THE DAVID CHRONICLES PART 2:
      2 DAVID'S ARE DOUBLE TROUBLE IN PARADISE

  • @Beer_Dad1975
    @Beer_Dad1975 5 років тому +10

    I know I went to see this film in 2017, I know I was stone cold sober when I saw it - I have very little memory of it. Way to go Ridley Scott!

  • @nortonman1178
    @nortonman1178 7 років тому +82

    Scientist Man explains Alien: Covenant/Prometheus!

  • @headlessspaceman5681
    @headlessspaceman5681 3 роки тому +28

    The characters in Covenant never seem alarmed enough at any point. They're never talking amongst themselves to try to figure out what just happened, or how to avoid it. It's almost like they've seen all the other movies already.

  • @VinegarAndSaltedFries
    @VinegarAndSaltedFries 3 місяці тому +2

    I actually have grown to appreciate this film and how it retroactively made Prometheus a better story since initial viewing. Fun enjoyable mad scientist film.

  • @dim391
    @dim391 7 років тому +288

    Scott is becoming what George Lucas was like during the Star Wars prequel trilogy.

    • @Milesplowher
      @Milesplowher 6 років тому +14

      David I. Moreno but those shits was good to. Attack of the clones is just too deep for the average movie goer. I like sand.

    • @KJCollections
      @KJCollections 6 років тому +31

      Thank you. Tons of people are like "George Lucas is awesome he should have done 7 8 and 9."
      He did some good stuff with other people for 4 5 and 6 but he didn't give a shit by 1 2 and 3.

    • @the_endgame
      @the_endgame 5 років тому +10

      @@ThreadBomb Also combined with having so much money and thinking the amount of $$$ you have correlates to your genius.

  • @ImperfectWeapons
    @ImperfectWeapons 7 років тому +56

    The Xenomorph parts were unnecessary and bad. Everything involving David was actually fascinating.
    They should rename this movie "David" and it'll be automatically better.

    • @stuv1996
      @stuv1996 4 роки тому +1

      Bro we're on the same page. If you haven't read the script for Prometheus you need to man. It explains so much more and it shows how David wasn't even translating everything the engineer said to Weyland, he was keeping stuff to himself.
      And it goes into Jesus Christ being an engineer and us killing him being the reason there's a whole sect of engineers that want to kill us and all this crazy stuff Apparently they even had a movie planned after Prometheus that was gonna be David and Shaw in a ship on their way to Alien: Covenant but that whole movie got cut because people didn't like that there were no aliens in Prometheus.

  • @MrLuciusrm
    @MrLuciusrm 7 років тому +16

    I had the feeling i skipped an episode between prometheus and covenant

  • @TimPoultney
    @TimPoultney 7 років тому +6

    I openly howled with laughter at the blood pool pratfalls. Yes, that's plural -- There are TWO and they're BOTH great.

  • @mr.redhands8390
    @mr.redhands8390 7 років тому +20

    "They didn't even bothered with helmets"
    The movie in a nutshell.

  • @neurobishop7900
    @neurobishop7900 7 років тому +84

    Alien eggs! Facehuggers! Chestbursters! Xenomorphs! THINGS I KNOW!!!!!

    • @chantelleaustin3124
      @chantelleaustin3124 7 років тому +2

      If you don't like seeing Alien things in Alien movies, don't go see Alien movies. You're like someone who goes to a U2 concert and whines about them playing classic U2 songs.

    • @MegaZeta
      @MegaZeta 6 років тому +4

      +Chantelle Austin The sort of person who goes to any movie to see "Alien things" is either a child or a fucking idiot

    • @devilaverage6718
      @devilaverage6718 4 роки тому

      It's like poetry, it rhymes.

    • @zetetick395
      @zetetick395 4 роки тому

      -THINGS I KNOW- = "THINGS DAD HAS TOLD ME ABOUT" (and am still waiting for something (ANYTHING!) original to happen in my own lifetime!)
      (Cue CGI Xenomorph playing a sad, sad little violin)

    • @joshuanorris5860
      @joshuanorris5860 3 роки тому +1

      @@chantelleaustin3124 meh you know what he meant lol

  • @JamesGhodbane
    @JamesGhodbane 7 років тому +74

    Like jar jar in Star Wars, David is the key to all of this !

    • @Relugus
      @Relugus 7 років тому +20

      Domino Godbane Mesa David, mesa put tha Face Hugga on yousa faces.

    • @charlesdecharleroy7209
      @charlesdecharleroy7209 7 років тому +7

      Dallas = Tennessee... It's like poetry, so it rhymes... are we sure Lucas isn't secretly behind this movie?

  • @Thrandrall
    @Thrandrall 7 років тому +10

    I remember the Alien 3 arcade game (awesome) and toys - there were variant aliens (not just the dog-alien), but the bull-alien and a few others.

  • @jimkay2728
    @jimkay2728 7 років тому +41

    Glad Dan O'Bannon isn't around to witness this crap

    • @irllcd13
      @irllcd13 6 років тому +4

      Me too. I'm sincerely grateful he died before seeing his baby fucking shit on and bastardized first with Prometheus and then again with Covenant. That would have been soulcrushing to see in his twilight years, the thing he his best known for, the pinnacle of his career completely ruined.

  • @GDeNofa
    @GDeNofa 5 років тому +17

    I liked the original idea that aliens were created by the engineers with the black goo, either on purpose or by accident them the creatures just evolved on their own to spawn more aliens. The idea that a pretentious robot with a God complex made them is beyond underwhelming.

  • @Historiskafilmer
    @Historiskafilmer 7 років тому +26

    i see things i recognise, I'm going to come

  • @Scott.Sandifer
    @Scott.Sandifer 7 років тому +62

    Disappointing. At the end of Prometheus, I know Shaw said she was going out to find answers, but that struck me as more of a veiled threat. She was pissed at that point, and it seemed to me that her plan was to go to the Blue Man Group home planet and do what apparently David does in this movie. I thought the point was that Shaw wasn't so naive anymore, plus vengeance and all that. To have David do it blows all that character development to me. Damn it.

    • @Scott.Sandifer
      @Scott.Sandifer 7 років тому +13

      I suppose i don't see it as dumb. Or crazy. Maybe myopic, sure. But mostly it's an evolution of her character, and an erosion of her faith leading to Nihilism. It's kind of a Nietzsche-esque progression maybe. She's excited to meet her creators, then her questions shift to "Why do you hate us? What'd we do wrong?" Then while being strangled face to face with the cold, vengeful visage of her creator she kills him by opening up the door and releasing her child in an act of self preservation.
      She just found out her gods want her dead. That they want the whole human race dead. And now she knows that they can be killed. That she can kill her god. Then she takes off in a ship stuffed to the brim with apocalyptic level bio-weapons. "I don't want to go back to where we came from. I want to go where they came from." Hmmm...
      Ultimately, i think "dumb" would be thinking you could have a pleasant chat over tea with an alien race that wants your whole species annihilated.

    • @the_endgame
      @the_endgame 5 років тому +4

      @@Scott.Sandifer It would have been interesting to see all of that play out.. instead we got a terrible sequel

    • @stuv1996
      @stuv1996 4 роки тому +4

      Yes. Sadly they scrapped a whole movie that would have mostly just been David and Shaw on the ship going there.
      The original script of Prometheus and the scrapped stuff from that movie is pretty fucking awesome to me. It's really sad they cut out all the cool parts, like Jesus Christ being an Engineer, and us killing Jesus is the answer to Shaw's "Why do they want to kill us?".
      And the scrapped movie would have shown David and Shaw bonding (him still just being a head) and her slowly deciding to repair him and trust him because she's lonely, and then when he's whole again he would use her body to make the first xenomorphs.

  • @DaloKnight
    @DaloKnight 7 років тому +110

    24:21 never appeared in the movie. Made for the trailer only I guess.

    • @greed13X
      @greed13X 7 років тому +10

      Dalo Knight Trailers are made before the final edit so some of it gets cut. He also cut stuff out for UA-cam videos. The crew logs and the crew prologue should have been in the opening.

    • @VAZTheGR81995
      @VAZTheGR81995 7 років тому +1

      +Alex ThePrizeFish maybe deleted scenes when it comes out on Blu ray?

    • @bickle8931
      @bickle8931 7 років тому +1

      ridley Scott even said he made scenes for the trailer specifically also other companies are hired to make trailers and not the director

    • @markoos88
      @markoos88 7 років тому +5

      If you watch the film it's so obvious that the last portion is gutted. No tension whatsoever. I think probably studio pressure to get the runtime down so there can be more showings per day.
      There's so much promotional material that's not in the film. This and the (really good) shot of the xeno wall-jumping down the hallway.

    • @decenthumans
      @decenthumans 7 років тому +1

      Good catch

  • @JumblyJumble
    @JumblyJumble 4 роки тому +10

    I had forgotten I had already seen this movie. Really stays with you, I guess.

    • @joshuanorris5860
      @joshuanorris5860 3 роки тому +2

      Lol having the same realization i think...

    • @atom_gray
      @atom_gray 3 роки тому +2

      no kidding. i remember half this crap actually being part of prometheus...

    • @joshuanorris5860
      @joshuanorris5860 3 роки тому +2

      @@atom_gray wait, its not? Lol

  • @Jigsaw407
    @Jigsaw407 7 років тому +210

    They totally fucked up the Alien origin. Makes no sense and it's unacceptable. Alien: Covenant is fan fiction by someone who didn't understand the source material. Funny enough that's Ridley Scott! George Lucas syndrome, anyone?

    • @pandaath
      @pandaath 7 років тому +9

      They didn't "fuck up" the Alien origin because there was no official Alien origin before Covenant was made. Nothing but a bunch of stupid fan theories and comic books that say the Engineer is some giant elephant man.

    • @GetToDaChoppa-k5r
      @GetToDaChoppa-k5r 7 років тому +22

      Dan O'Bannon is the true creator of Alien along with Giger.

    • @irllcd13
      @irllcd13 7 років тому +28

      I seriously think Ridley Scott is senile. Anyone that thinks an origin story for the Xenomorph is a good idea is not all there.

    • @jasonfenton8250
      @jasonfenton8250 6 років тому +23

      TheSmashingTesticles That's just it though, the lack of an origin story for the space jockey, xenos, etc. is part of the horror. It is the vast unknown of space looking back at you, raising more questions than answers. Explaining it ruins the mystery that was a part of the cosmic horror element of the original film. Did you watch the movie?

    • @MegaZeta
      @MegaZeta 6 років тому +3

      It's a mediocre movie but... the "origin" is "unacceptable"? 1) It should have no impact on your enjoyment of the earlier movies and 2) your "acceptance" means nothing at all

  • @alessandroh10
    @alessandroh10 7 років тому +97

    This movie had an "ok" beginning, but it fell apart after landing. I guess Ridley went to "School of tonal Inconsistency by George Lucas" for filming first death scene with people constantly slipping on blood.

    • @alessandroh10
      @alessandroh10 7 років тому +24

      I'm not an expert on sadists, but i think that they enjoy torturing. Only thing i enjoyed in this movie is the visuals (except xenomorphs)
      And i'm not in a mood for explaining why death of poorly set up characters is meaningless.

    • @Egalitariat-likesecretariat
      @Egalitariat-likesecretariat 7 років тому +7

      I get why seeing a faceplant moment in the middle of a tense horror setpiece would be funny. For me, though, it wasn't; it seemed like a hazard that could realistically happen in that situation.
      No, the part that made me burst out laughing (after I stopped ranting furiously about how stupid it was) was when the doctor/nurse grabbed a machine gun and shot the fuck out of the spaceship until it blew up.

    • @coldytm3222
      @coldytm3222 6 років тому +8

      That whole segment on the ship was holarious. Blood slip isn't even the first ,,what the fuck,, moment. When main character's husband suddenly bursts into flames my friend and i started laughing like hyenas. It was just so sudden and bloody unexpected considering he was in a cryo chamber.

    • @olisk-jy9rz
      @olisk-jy9rz 6 років тому +1

      @@coldytm3222 Exactly, what the fuck was that?! The guy was in a cryochamber, and suddenly bursts on fire for no reason. Why was he dipped in gasoline in a crio chamber?

    • @jasonfenton8250
      @jasonfenton8250 5 років тому +3

      @@jonnyboy07 It wasn't just the slipping on blood, it was every single bit of incompetence stacking up on top of each other. Slipping on blood, foot stuck in door, missing with the shotgun, getting overpowered by a baby that literally cannot have the mass to overpower you, not wearing spacesuits so you get infected.
      I'm sure space flight is cheaper in Alien, but it isn't going to be *that* cheap, as we see in the Aliens courtroom scene. You don't hand the keys of a colony ship to morons.

  • @Japanathan
    @Japanathan 7 років тому +182

    Jay, that helmet shit breaks me, just thank you for saying it so much

    • @Japanathan
      @Japanathan 7 років тому +21

      shouldn't be an excuse, the building blocks for actual good movies are there, why should we settle for this multimillion dollar garbage

    • @pocketsesmcflurry2146
      @pocketsesmcflurry2146 7 років тому +1

      Why would they wear spacesuits? seems pointless if you know the planet you're on has oxygen. It was a little silly in Prometheus when they took off their helmets because they were in this giant alien temple with pods filled with leaky black goo and a clear sign that something had gone horribly wrong there, but in Covenant I thought it made sense. It was a planet that looked just like Earth with the same atmosphere and they knew other people had survived there because of the transmission they got. The crew brought guns and protective clothing just in case, and that seems like reasonable enough precautions for the situation. Then again I'm not an astronaut, but neither are you.
      Also, isn't garbage a little harsh? I mean Transformers 2, Rings, the latest Mummy movie, THAT's garbage. A talented director making ambitious and well-made movies with some script problems and a few leaps in logic isn't what I'd call flat out "garbage." Maybe that's just me though.

    • @meangreen8873
      @meangreen8873 7 років тому +66

      +Pocketses McFlurry
      Because there's countless reasons why Oxygen alone doesn't mean it's ok.
      There exists many many pathogens ,microorganisms , germs etc which we have evolved resistances to. If you were visit another world you'd die in hours without a spacesuit. No scientist would be stupid enough to just walk around another world in clothes they brought from home. It's absolutely stupid, and there's zero defense against this.

    • @TheEchelon1619
      @TheEchelon1619 7 років тому +35

      Because we don't breathe pure Oxygen? Maybe the Oxygen on the planet your exploring is laced with other elements that would kill you like say the occasional Dimethyl Mercury vapor floating around? And because we assume that people in the future are familiar with Microbiology, you know, that shit we knew since the 1890's or so.

    • @Japanathan
      @Japanathan 7 років тому +11

      This, this, this, a thousand more times. Thanks gang!

  • @BaronVonQuiply
    @BaronVonQuiply 7 років тому +149

    The _Alien_ franchise summed up in four words appears to be *Don't Trust The Android*

    • @Relugus
      @Relugus 7 років тому +26

      Baron von Quiply Except if it's Lance Henriksen.

    • @BaronVonQuiply
      @BaronVonQuiply 7 років тому +3

      Ah, thanks. I haven't watched _Aliens_ in a while and tossed him in with the bunch.

    • @bodybag22
      @bodybag22 7 років тому +15

      Not bad... for a human.

    • @orkhepaj
      @orkhepaj 7 років тому +1

      or dont let the migrants in and build that fucking wall already

    • @lmnisop5516
      @lmnisop5516 7 років тому +6

      Baron von Quiply but the only two synthetics that actually try and kill people are Ash and David. Bishop and Call are rock solid allies. Even Ash was only following orders. I don't get why people think it's a cliche of the Alien series that the android is evil.

  • @StubenhockerElite
    @StubenhockerElite 5 років тому +63

    "Short haired woman with droopy face in underwear" is really just every every Ridley Scott script.

    • @ManOutofTime913
      @ManOutofTime913 Рік тому +3

      Yeah, that really does describe Gladiator, Legend, and Blade Runner perfectly.

    • @andrewsilver9730
      @andrewsilver9730 Рік тому +1

      Sean's hair was pretty short and definitely not droopy but pouty

  • @josecasart
    @josecasart 7 років тому +115

    How many times have they used that clip of the toxic waste guy from Robocop

  • @Splimis
    @Splimis 7 років тому +253

    Let's all just forget about this movie.

  • @RealH0rr0rsh0w
    @RealH0rr0rsh0w 7 років тому +21

    Everything is like Star Trek. If you think something isn't like Star Trek you haven't seen enough Star Trek.

  • @colin7moon
    @colin7moon 3 роки тому +5

    this was visually ssssoooooooo beautiful, well designed, really artistic and bold.... but the story is so non-existence it's like a graphic cards benchmark test.

  • @maxheadroom1837
    @maxheadroom1837 7 років тому +19

    I loved Prometheus and was looking forward to more of that lore. This movie is the best modern example of a large studio fucking up something beyond repair because they never want to take any risks. Who was complaining about no xenomorphs? I wasn't, wtf was this mess? I wanted more engineers with the xenomorph story in the background.

  • @rockingbirdey
    @rockingbirdey 7 років тому +5

    This is what I've noticed with new Ridley Scott. If he develops a script, the movies gonna be divisive or it will outright suck. However, if he comes into the project with a good script already written (example: The Martian) he excels

  • @larrshinshin7606
    @larrshinshin7606 7 років тому +12

    i would like to add the movie "Terminator" to the simple-premise-that-does-not-work-when-expanded list.

    • @cili4231
      @cili4231 5 місяців тому

      Well t2 expanded it nicely but yea that’s abt it

  • @cakebrin3r
    @cakebrin3r 7 років тому +70

    They should upgrade to fixing dvd players. That would be great

    • @bludman2
      @bludman2 7 років тому +10

      They should upgrade to fixing Betamax

    • @irllcd13
      @irllcd13 7 років тому +4

      What is a DVD? Is that like a compact disc I keep hearing about? I didn't think those were available to the public yet.

  • @ryancrist9565
    @ryancrist9565 7 років тому +74

    They should have never tried to tell the back story of the creators. It's just completely unnecessary and it ruins the creepy ambiguity of seeing the dead one for the first time in Alien. Less is more, and Prometheus and Alien covenant completely detract from that scene in Alien. They just ruined it. It was a story which never needed to be told. But fuck it, we need to modernize all of our cinema because no one should have to watch movies made in the 70's anymore. If you are a fan of the Alien series and have only seen Alien and Aliens, then please stop there, you don't need to see anything more than that. If you want more then play Alien: Isolation.

    • @MegaZeta
      @MegaZeta 6 років тому +12

      I don't get this whiner "ruined" shit. If you're an adult, you can watch a bad sequel and then just ignore it instead of obsessing over "canon" or whatever dumb shit. No one is forcing you to backwards-integrate what's "revealed" in a shitty sequel into the earlier, better movie. You can just enjoy things for what they are.

    • @davedoe6445
      @davedoe6445 5 років тому +9

      I donno I kinda wish they made a movie just about the engineer theme without any alien stuff in it. But I'm pretty sure the hollywood execs demanded more alien so Scott gave it to them good and hard.

    • @jasonfenton8250
      @jasonfenton8250 5 років тому +2

      @@MegaZeta This, Prometheus and Covenant totally misunderstand the mystery of the space jockey, but that scene in the original movie is still magical.

    • @levmyshkin8366
      @levmyshkin8366 5 років тому

      Jason Fenton They don’t misunderstand that scene, they make entire films based on your reaction to it. Wether you feel like the film is worthwhile is your opinion, but saying the director didn’t get what the director made in the first place is ridiculous.

    • @kaydub9565
      @kaydub9565 5 років тому +2

      I agree. At this point to me, the franchise is just Alien, Aliens, and Alien: Isolation.

  • @joecliffthompson
    @joecliffthompson 3 місяці тому +4

    "The fucking Blue Man Group created it, Jay!" occupies a far corner of my brain at all times

  • @Rovers1783
    @Rovers1783 7 років тому +4

    So the black goo is like the Genesis torpedo from Wrath of Khan? Ok. I can live with it.

  • @AdamLeuer
    @AdamLeuer 7 років тому +6

    At 9:10, if anyone who's already seen _Alien: Covenant_ is confused by this scene and can't remember seeing it in the movie (like me at first), that's because it's actually a clip from a short prologue that Fox released online.

  • @jackflash8567
    @jackflash8567 7 років тому +312

    Why can't these aging filmmakers just let it go? Why is Ridley Scott still even MAKING FILMS let alone Alien films?
    Oh now James Cameron is on board for ANOTHER FUCKING TERMINATOR. I mean he really hung in there having nothing to do with the last three films but eventually he caved. Maybe he realized no one will ever care about his 9 Avatar sequels
    Thank god Back to the Future was made by Robert Zemeckis. An aging filmmaker with a successful, beloved series and has NO interest in ruining said successful, beloved series. Back to the Future wont get ruined till at LEAST after Zemeckis is dead.

    • @Benjamoose
      @Benjamoose 7 років тому +28

      It get's slightly better too. Back to the Future was a joint venture for Robert Zemeckis with Bob Gale, and Bob Gale also has no interest in rebooting or making more movies for Back to the Future.
      So even if Zemeckis randomly dies, we'd still have Bob Gale holding the fort.

    • @jackflash8567
      @jackflash8567 7 років тому +23

      True and Zemeckis has also said that both his and Gale's wills state that no BTTF sequels or remakes are to be made after they die. So in theory it will never happen. I'm just assuming that one day Universal will figure out a way to get around it. So BTTF might still get ruined, it just won't come easy or soon.

    • @kenaistar1616
      @kenaistar1616 7 років тому +6

      Well he stopped because the third film sucked big time

    • @jonathansparks882
      @jonathansparks882 7 років тому +12

      Did you not watch the 3rd back to the future movie?

    • @duckywinks
      @duckywinks 7 років тому +34

      George Miller is in his 70's and Mad Max: Fury Road was fucking awesome.

  • @licecnayr
    @licecnayr 7 років тому +74

    COVENANT BROKE NEW GROUND!
    XENOMORPHERS! XENOMORPHERS!
    ANDROIDS! FACE HUGGERS! IN SPACE NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM!
    NO SIGOURNEY WEAVER-OH WELL!

    • @thebackup2121
      @thebackup2121 7 років тому +1

      The cgi for Grand Moff Tarkin was pretty deep in the uncanny valley though, am I right guys?

  • @briannewman532
    @briannewman532 7 років тому +81

    The entire premise of the "engineers" is where these films went wrong. It is very clear in the the original ALIEN that the Space Jockey is NOT a being wearing a space suit. The Space Jockey doesn't even have legs. Dallas remarks that "it's grown out of the chair". The Space Jockey was part of the ship... it WAS the ship. A huge, bio-engineered spacecraft, that somehow became infected by the ALIEN. The how and why of that never needed to be explained, it's what made the creature so frightening. This stupid "ancient aliens" shit from the History Channel isn't even remotely interesting, or scary.

    • @brandonhennig2324
      @brandonhennig2324 6 років тому +8

      Been thinking the same thing for years, since Prometheus came out.

  • @MoviegeekDutch
    @MoviegeekDutch 3 місяці тому +9

    Rewatching this Half in the bag, because here it is 2024 and another “new” Alien movie has arrived. Alien Romulan, Can’t wait for RLM to review it 🤩🤩

  • @kennywu8522
    @kennywu8522 7 років тому +7

    2:05 the Bloody "Fuck You" Middle Finger hands on the ground is a visual metaphor from Ridley Scott flipping the bird to the audience.

  • @Venator2015
    @Venator2015 7 років тому +17

    If the Engineers had intergalactic travel capabilities I doubt that was the only planet of them. Just saying.

    • @MegaZeta
      @MegaZeta 6 років тому +4

      And what's amazing? No one fucking cares because the series has become boring-as-shit garbage.

    • @mattg3484
      @mattg3484 4 роки тому +2

      That planet was just their favorite hangout spot

    • @zetetick395
      @zetetick395 4 роки тому +2

      Has intergalactic travel capabilities
      Doesn't even have own pants

  • @kcshfl
    @kcshfl 5 років тому +3

    Fessbender plays 1 of the most intriguing villains in recent memory. For that, I would recommend.

  • @lhei_tayuun
    @lhei_tayuun 2 роки тому +1

    I love the obnoxiously lingering ding. It's my favorite recurring character.

  • @JaDversary
    @JaDversary 4 роки тому +6

    2:38 "The new film from elderly director Ridley Scott" *Jay snickers in background*

  • @TheColonelKlink
    @TheColonelKlink 7 років тому +95

    Coming soon! - "Abbot and Costello Meet The Wolf Man and Xenomorph."

    • @Relugus
      @Relugus 7 років тому +1

      TheColonelKlink I want that movie to happen.

    • @katanatsunami
      @katanatsunami 7 років тому +6

      DB Cooper vs Alien vs Predator v Batman v Superman

    • @charlesdecharleroy7209
      @charlesdecharleroy7209 7 років тому +1

      Oh... my... GOD! That's the BESTEST IDEA EVER!! I'll pitch it to Sony Pictures execs right now! They'll love it!

    • @jonnisko
      @jonnisko 7 років тому +1

      +TheColonelKlink Rock and Kevin Hart meet the Xenomorph

    • @boogityhoo7452
      @boogityhoo7452 7 років тому

      TheColonelKlink 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @frankmerker630
    @frankmerker630 4 роки тому +15

    thank god this prevented Ridley Scott from having more involvement in Blade Runner 2049

  • @matthewbragulla151
    @matthewbragulla151 7 років тому +16

    Xenonorphs! Xenomorphs! I'm gonna CUUUUUUUUUUUUM!

  • @carlosrvra
    @carlosrvra 3 роки тому +2

    GREAT point about not knowing the shorthaired lead character's name. And I didn't realize Shaw was infertile. Makes that whole alien birthing scene in the medical chamber that much more horrific. And since you made this video, it's been revealed that some never filmed scenes add a LOT of needed clarity to the Engineers.

  • @slightlycharredtoast787
    @slightlycharredtoast787 3 місяці тому +3

    I watched this whole review thinking they were talking about the movie that came out in August 2024

  • @timpig3000
    @timpig3000 7 років тому +174

    I don't think the engineers created the Alien. I think they attempted to back-engineer it and built their technology around it. Exactly like W-Y wants to in original movies. But they also couldn't control it.
    (David didn't create them either, he just reawakened their DNA in the black goo. See the Alien mural in Prometheus)
    They also didn't create humans - on purpose. We were just a byproduct.
    Engineers explore galaxy, finding planets suitable for life, which they seed with their own DNA.
    Millions of years later they return, and use the black goo to wipe out all 'meat' life (David says it kills all 'non-botanical life'), thus giving them a planet to colonise. The whole thing is a terraforming project with sentient life as an unwanted byproduct. They're no more gods than the greedy corporate terraformers of Alien/Aliens.

    • @jamesbriscoe5291
      @jamesbriscoe5291 7 років тому +31

      I can dig it.

    • @robbieclark7828
      @robbieclark7828 7 років тому +32

      tim maughan Who the fuck is writing all these terrible movies? It seems like you or me could write a better fucking script than most of them.

    • @MegaZeta
      @MegaZeta 6 років тому +1

      Who cares

    • @TheMrLusk
      @TheMrLusk 6 років тому

      Engineers only created DEACONS

    • @TheMrLusk
      @TheMrLusk 6 років тому

      Who they worshipped ?