Full Episode: “Children of the System” (Ep. 405) | Our America with Lisa Ling | OWN
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- Опубліковано 17 бер 2021
- Los Angeles County's foster care system is the largest in the country. In this episode, Lisa Ling investigates what happens to a child after they've been removed from their family, the actions parents take hoping to reunify and how the system is holding up under the strain. (Original air date: July 3, 2014)
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Full Episode: “Children of the System” (Ep. 405) | Our America with Lisa Ling | OWN
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There should be a law , that no siblings be separated, this can be traumatic for the children poor children my heart broke just by seeing the sister crying so much 😢
The sad thing is that it would be hard to find families that would accept several siblings together. The systems already overwhelmed
They try to keep them together but the foster homes are always full. So so many people should not be having kids
In some situations, siblings can’t stay together because of violence towards another sibling. I’m a foster mom and this is not uncommon even when you can keep them together
Exactly, they’re already being taken from the parents & then they’re gonna be separated from there siblings the only familiar faces they know. It’s beyond heartbreaking!
Sometimes this is not appropriate especially if a sibling is perpetrating on their siblings.
I once took a group of 5 siblings for 9 months because I didn’t want them to have to separate. It was one of the hardest most important things I’ve ever done.
Omg a big giant hug to you and your immense heart
Thank goodness for people like you.
It’s so hard ❤
God bless you for your huge heart! I honestly can’t imagine how challenging that would be… five children at once is hard enough, not to mention with those extra circumstances. You’re an Angel, no doubt about that. You’ll be rewarded for your good deeds ma’am. ❤
Yes what do wonderful person
Monica fired a gun in the air to protect her child from a kidnapper, because the police didn't show up to help her save her child. I think Monica and her children were victimized by the law. They did not deserve such harsh treatment. However, she coped with the circumstances very well. Wherever, Monica is at with her children, I wish them well.
I feel the same way
The oldest daughter is suffering from Depression
There was a woman in Texas walking across the street with her two little children, suddenly she collapsed, instantly dead ... a bullet had entered her at the top of her head. Someone had shot a gun into the air close by. I do however get where Monica is coming from, to not know what to do to get help...when those who should help...don't. 😢
This is why people ruin kids and they go to prison do the math
@@tanthonynunya4214 That is actually far more likely when they grow up in foster care. The numbers are stagering. Theyre also more likely to not graduate high school and to end up addicted to substances and homeless. They never touch on that part of it.
Siblings should not be separated 😢
okay so how will you house 6 kids?
When the siblings got separated, I lost it. I’m crying my eyes out. That is horrible
Me too wow
They told that babygirl to be strong for her baby brother alllll babyssss
Same over here 🥺
Same ... I’m the oldest and my sister is 10 years younger... I would be devastated just worried to death ... lord, ima cry again 😭
Me too
Wait! She called the police they never showed up. She shot the gun in the air and they arrest her and take her kids?! Shame on the system
She called the police and said someone abducted her child and they didn't show up? He wasn't their father he didn't have custody. I dont know, I feel like part of the story is missing.
thank you nicole now i see why they say healthy smart minds think alike😄
this lady should not have lost her kids for the police failing her which they do all the time to millions of mothers they play along until they can kidnapp the kids shame on bad cops
@@tinatina8149 I had to comment back to you..... You are so correct, dead on. A lot of people aren't up on game that some Police will put you in positions to kidnap your kids. I agree, she should've NEVER lost those kids. I hope the guy is locked up or far away gone. Hopefully, he isn't tormenting another single helpless mother or guardian. Hell, he could've been kin to someone on the Force. Either way it goes. You are correct.
@@tinatina8149 I agree she was protecting herself and her babies. Probably the wrong way about it, but she doesn't deserve that
I lost it when Monica’s son said he wished he’d stay in foster care so his sisters could go home instead. Then his little sister started crying. My heart breaks for that whole family and I pray those kids are back with their mom as soon as possible.
Hello 👋 Randi
I hope the girls are home.
@@debbieb5400YES, THEY GOT TO GO HOME, DIDN’T YOU WATCH?
Every child deserves a parent. Not every parent deserves children
I understand that reunification is the main goal for DCFS but that’s not always the best for the children. My 5 siblings and I were in foster care under Long Beach youth home in the early 90s and even though my birth parents were taking classes and doing better at times. I was scared every single day that they would get me back. I’m so grateful for my mom (foster) who at 58 took us and has loved 🥰 us. She’s my angel 😇 and she turns 89 this year!
How beautiful happy that you were blessed with your angel ❤️
I totally agree. I think kids especially older ones need Casas. I didn't have a one and I had to go back with an abusive father just let me back in to DCFS. I aged out but I am glad that I I learned how to survive and gained a new family through good friends
Cindy Hood so glad you had a great foster mom. yes never thought about that what you said. why were you so scare d to go back. abuse or not caring as parents
Thanks for sharing ❤️
May you be blessed all your years and your precious foster mom and siblings!🙏😇❤
They covered a lot about this topic. Except the abuses children go through while in care.
That's why i was watching this to see if they discussed it
It's only an hour long
Exactly. Children are more likely to be a victim of abuse while being " protected by the state".
Exactly, my kids went into care for just a female being petty and they had to be placed until they "investigated" the allegations... the horror stories that my kids told me after being returned were horrifying...most of these people are only in it for the money
That abuse in system and care swept under rug.
Lisa Ling is the truth, she has always kept her reporting human, meaningful, and real. She's never seeking a talk show, glamour, or social Media attraction, she focuses on the human condition, society, and the realities we all need to face.
I was so sad when the OWN network canceled this show.
I guess vapid reality shows are cheaper than interesting documentaries.
Love her
I worked as an admin for DCF in Florida, I remember them bringing a baby boy in and one of my coworkers asked me to watch him while she got things together for him (diapers, formula, and placement arrangements). The way he held on to my finger as I rocked him to sleep had me in tears. As a mother no child deserves a life like that, he had such big eyes just like my daughter and it sticks with me. Praying for all the kids in this broken system 😢
P 0p
⁰p0
I've heard Florida's system is in rough shape.
If I had to start my life over, I don't think I would have my own children but take the children that need that care and love...❤
This is why I wanna foster and adopt. Can't have my own and I see how so many children need loving homes.
That’s wonderful. I hope you have the opportunity to provide some kiddies with a loving home.
That is wonderful. I adopted a little girl. She is amazing. I love her dearly. One of the best things that has happened in my life.
Bless you!
I'm not sterile but I would love to adopt a child. Mainly because I don't want my mental illnesses to be passed down to a baby. I don't want my kid to suffer with it like I have. There are so many kids already born who need homes so why should I bring a biological child into the world just to suffer?
These children deserve to go home to their parents there should never be an agreement that you can be a foster parent with the promise to adopt. The parents or the families should raise these kids because it’s more healthy for the kids to be with their blood. When people want to keep a child is where the corruption comes in Iv seen it over and over agai
Seriously US need to look into yr own issues instead sending troopers overseas wasting millions millions of taxpayers money for somewhere else .. There are children homeless , hungry, no home , human trafficked , sick ... they need help!!! Its right under your nose!!! In your neighborhood, next door !!!
Preach 👍👍👍👍
So true.
Sure do! Israel has universal healthcare and vaccinated most citizens, it’s nice to see my billions of American tax dollars so hard at work... in Israel. 😐
The regular citizens have next to no say on these matters. It's the policies of feckless politicians. They do not listen to the wishes of the average citizen. I can assure that a regular citizen doesn't want their tax dollars wasted on meddling in other countries when we have very serious problems at home not being addressed.
Smartest comment ever!!
Before we blame the system what if we became better parents. Kudos to Monica for protecting n fighting for her kids
I was in foster care getting abused in every home suffered from severe ptsd even the social worker didn't listen she saw the brusies but until I went to my beautiful adopted mom i found peace love
Did your adopted mom start as a foster?
I can not believe the justice system would put a mother in jail for firing a warning shot at a man who abducted her child after the police did not show up to help her!! This man was beating her and he was not the child's biological father. She is a victim and should have never seen the walls of a jail cell!! I am so outraged at our system!!
dont blame the system. there are far too many resources out there now for women to learn about abusive relationships. When you constantly expose your children to DV, then you become a contributor to the child protection concerns.
@@Jeff-cr6ur both she and the system failed the children. In that specific situation the system failed.
@@katie-st8nx how?
@@Jeff-cr6ur that’s not the mothers fault at all. The school should have never let him take the child especially without a phone call to the mom. If his name isn’t on that sign out sheet it shouldn’t be ok. The police failed her as well, if I call and say somebody is kidnapping my child the police should come faster than lightning McQueen.
@@BossipR true!
I'm watching in tears. My mom was an addict. Luckily, my sisters and I were fortunate to have our father become custodial guardian. My father raised 4 daughters alone. Several years ago, my mom died as a result of her drug use. Fast forward, I am a graduate student studying to become a therapist. My end goal is a private practice specializing in trauma. My sisters and I were the lucky ones. Others are not so lucky.
Strange thing in life, sometimes the things that we thought were meant to hurt us, are actually put in our life for a reason. Congrats on your schooling, God bless.
Brave family! God bless you 🙏🏼💖😇
BIG HUGS 🫂 !
🙏🏾🙏🏾 I pray this happens for you
Well done! Blessings for continued success!
I temporarily lost my children and this hit hard. My kids luckily were able to stay together and had the most amazing foster mother EVER. I was able to regain custody in a matter of a few months but those months without them were excruciating but knowing how well they were taken care of brings me enormous peace. And remember, abuse and neglect isn’t the only reasons you can lose your children. You can also lose them if you have health challenges and nobody to step in to help.
I’m so glad you got your kids back
Believe in God and His mercy 🙏 Stay strong for God loves you and your children.
God Bless you and keep you all together ❤️
You are amazing to go through that and fight to get them back. Your kids are lucky to have you and I’m sure that even though it was hard for everyone, they will never forget the fact that their mama never stopped fighting and being there for them. 💕
@@nancylee3403 Thank you so much! We are incredibly lucky to have had such an amazing support system even though such a difficult time! It took this situation to open my eyes to realize that not everyone who works in the child protective services field are out to take peoples children and that foster parents are just in it for the money. My childrens foster mother absolutely loved and still loves my children and we remain in contact and still get together occasionally for dinners and celebrations.
It’s great that you respect the foster mother and see her as caring and not as a competitor. I’m a foster mother and the hardest thing for me is connecting with birth moms, I want them to know I’m not a replacement, there’s no judgment and that I’m on her team! Bio moms rarely see me as part of their team. They can actually communicate with my husband, they don’t see him as a competitor. I’m always so proud of my moms when their babies get to go home! It’s bittersweet, of course I’ll miss the kiddos, but they don’t belong to me, they belong with their birth mother, if at all possible!
Congratulations on completing your case and getting your babies home! I’ve watched y’all, work so hard and I’m always so proud when you succeed!
That Lily is the cutest baby.
The outfit she was in and how clean and smiley she was sends the message that her mother loves hers
I hope her mother gets her act together.
It is very unusual for a 10 month old to be so relaxed and bubbly with complete strangers taking her to an unfamiliar place. Baby Lily clearly had been passed around a lot already has limited attachment with her mom😔 This documentary is so heartbreaking.
I noticed that too
Omg I was thinking the same thing.
I was just going to say this. That child isn’t fazed at all by strangers passing her about and that’s sad!
Yup. At that age my kids would freak out if it wasn’t me or my partner or even grandparents. Heartbreaking.
I have to agree
I was a foster parent in California for 2 yrs, I lived up in the mountains and the caseworkers only came up to check on the children about once a month when by law they are supposed to come every week to check on them, I always took the older ones first or sibling groups, it breaks your heart to put these children to bed and hear them calling out to their mommy every night and as a foster parent your not allowed to bring them into your bed for comfort like you would your own child but your only allowed to lay next to their bed on the floor and hold their tiny little hands to let them know someone is there and their not alone. Not all parents are addicts or abusers some just fall on hard times and some have their children taken on false accusations but still have to prove their innocence because their guilty until they can prove their innocence, it’s traumatic for the children to be taken away and it has long lasting effects on the child. It’s very sad and they need to do better. I adopted my last foster children, 2 sisters it’s been 12 years now and they are beautiful and thriving getting ready to head out into the world.
Thank you for sharing
This made me tear up reading.. its nice to see someone understanding both sides too. How heart breaking your doing a good thing.
God Bless you!
This is the first time ive EVER read a comment that see's this system for what it really is. Not all parents are addicts and abusers is the most accurate opinion ive come across bcuz it is 100% facts, I have been fighting CPS in Sacramento California for 6yrs my oldest 4 children removed due to false accusations but coming from a social worker who has been investigated numerous times, followed by "child neglect" for our unwillingness to administer my son who was 9 ADHD medication, and "Child Endangerment" for having my children around my husband who was their biological father due to him having been diagnosed with "Bipolar Disorder" through a county psychologist that we we're forced to see or our "Children would be removed for failure to comply" this GREAT psychologist diagnosed him in 1 visit that lasted around 45mins, Than our children were taken in the middle of the night with officers who had their guns drawn on the adults nd kid cousins of our children. Even after my husband nd I completing classes nd he was seeing a psychiatrist monthly whom after MONTHS of evaluation diagnosed him with "Severe PTSD" and "Depression"(accumulated from childhood of abuse) he was on meds nd continued to see the psychiatrist, court came certificates shown for the programs completed BUT the case worker whom NEVER answered her phone, NEVER attempted to reach out to us somehow handed in her recommendation to "Continue out of home placement" nd of course thats initially what the judge did nd continues to do, Literally the report i have received esch court date is the same one reprinted nd just new initials signed. In this never ending nightmare I have lost SOOO much, Unfortunately my husband passed unexpectedly back in 2018 after around 6mos of suffering where his leg was amputated, he passed from a pulmonary embolism he was 37, I just lost my father 01/01/2020 to cancer, and have contacted this worker and her supervisor with no response except health care papers sent to my work nd a few court reports delivered to my mailbox stating the same old b.s. followed by her reporting that she has "NO CONTACT INFORMATION ON FILE" Stating she has "reached out without success" mean while ive had the same number on their records for 7yrs, yet she managed to get my mail delivered to the correct address that she swore she has no record of, requested i pay for half my kids healthcare expenses paperwork sent directly to my boss. So the report i just received a month ago states the Samething, nd her recommendations to continue out of home placement stating that my home environment isn't safe, nd that my 2 youngest girls 3&2yrs old were placed intoa confidential foster home from birth meanwhile she's NEVER been to my place of residence EVER partially due to me no longer living in Sacramento I moved to another city where I have lived with just me nd my 2 little girls for over 3yrs the 2 little girls she signed a document stating they had been in a private foster home since birth. Clearly a lie my girls have been with me since birth with Sacramento County being forced to close their bogus case against us for my 3yr old daughter.
This system DOES NOT WORK!
Every single family has to complete the same course of programs no matter the reason for removal, Alot of these worker's are NOT parents which i think should be a requirement so they understand what a bond between children nd parents is nd feels like, I think they should NOT be allowed to have so much control over our families nd our future,.
If a family REALLY needs help removing the children should not be an option unless the children are being abused. Instead keep the families intact nd have them complete these programs together, we as parents fall apart nd feel lost without our children, nd a family as a whole unit is undefeatable.
It feels as though this system sets some families up for failure.
While i continue to try nd fight for my older kids, i will continue to pray that no other family EVER has to experience any of the things we did nd continue to go through...
GOD CONTINUE TO BLESS YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN
I would never forget that story of Gabriel it broke my heart into pieces the things he went through is horrific the system failed him
I’m still traumatized by the picture of that baby still smiling while he’s obviously bruised up from abuse.
I’m now in ‘Our America’ UA-cam hole.
I’ve haven’t seen such objective reporting in quite some time.
Lisa Ling is amazing!
Bless that lady who was holding that child who had to say goodbye to her little brother.. you can tell she was feeling the pain with her and wanted to take her pain away.. :(
it takes a special person to work in a place like this..
They’re angels, I can’t imagine the emotional mess I would become if I worked in a place like that.
💔😪😪
I would wanna take every child home, its got to take such an emotional toll on all of the staff, they probably go home and cant sleep thinking about where the children are and how they're coping.
She was a girl a 12-16 yo girl. Not a lady.
@@cheradin shes talking about the staff member
Never, ever should siblings be separated. These children have suffered enough. They should not have to be punished any further by being ripped from each other.
The goal is to keep siblings together. However, the main reason for separation is due to behavior issues. If you were a foster parent (and have other kids in your home)….would you want to take in a 11 year old with a history of sexual perpetration? Would you want to bring that risk to other kids into your house?
@@shywhispers1 They said that foster carers are getting pickier, so it's also possible that the foster home didn't want to take in an older child
@@trawrtster6097 I’ve worked with abused kids for almost 3 decades. Sadly, due to all of the substance abuse by parents, the impact keeps worsening. When people use substances while pregnant, they truly have no (just don’t care) idea the harm they are causing. Then when the child is born, they are in a home of chaos (domestic violence, dirty home…..). The older children get, the more you start seeing the impact through behaviors. If siblings can’t be together, you have to be able to show why to the court. Placing siblings together is expected. However, there are times it can’t be. There are kids with some very dangerous behaviors due to their trauma.
I wish it could be different.
@@shywhispers1 My point was that you don't know why those siblings were separated. Also, the social worker interviewed mentioned that foster homes are getting pickier in which children to foster, and considering older kids tend to have more baggage (unrelated to abusing other kids), they may not be taken in.
@@trawrtster6097 I totally get what you are saying. I’m just pointing out the reason (usually), they don’t want older children is due to the behaviors. It’s heartbreaking to see….one more loss…one more trauma.
Poor kids, they are probably so traumatized just by waiting in that limbo feeling so powerless. Bless them. It's no wonder we have so many permanently broken people out there.
They need better workers
@@coffeepeachesplansNo, we need *better parents.*
@@tundrawomansays694 parents are workers
This reporter actually cares. God bless her.
I know. This is legitimate journalism. Shines light 💡 on what needs resources
There’s a HUGE DIFFERENCE between parents that physically abuse their children like Gabriel’s parent did and parents that mess up once but really live and care for their children ! The system takes the wrong children
Well it's a mix. A parent may love their kids but put them in dangerous situations whether they realize it or not. The mom with an abusive boyfriend that she almost shot in the park in front of her daughters... The other mom who was on drugs while caring for her baby girl.... even if the baby was all right ..-.
Omg I cried seeing that girl crying saying goodbye to her little brother 😢😢 so unfair and sad.
@@mnat28 Exactly. It's not demonizing parents but sometimes people make their own decisions and are not looking out for the best interests of their children. Hopefully they will take the help that is given and make better decisions. The ultimate goal is to help the family not permanently tear them apart. This is coming soon from someone who was part of the exact same system. There's something called neglect , you don't necessarily have to physically abuse your children. But if you neglect to take care of them that is grounds for having them taken away. Its messed up, but where is the thought of the children's safety when they are put in bad situations? That's why the parent needs to do the work on themselves so they can take care of their kid in order to stay far away from that system. You do not want your child getting in that system at all...
How do you measure it like what happens once the wreck happens? is it okay to leave a child and wait for the magic moment that the loving mother was to high to drive or pass out I'm not being ugly it's not a easy call when a child is in harm's way. I'd like to think if ppl seen a mother getting high and driving somebody would say something not see it and say BUT she loves her baby. JUST SAYING.
They usually dont take kids from parents that mess up.once..they been messing up.
The Gabriel Fernandez story stuck with me so much i still think about it everyday
Me too. Too horrible. I'm a social worker and I couldn't work for CPS. I'd be too afraid of making a wrong decision. I'd want to take all of the kids home too
I couldn't watch it. The trailer was enough to send me into tears
ME TOO! I tried to watch the documentary on Netflix and I was only a few minutes in and I was bawling and physically sick and I had to shut it off!! I look at my children and I’d give my life for them.........those “parents” are pure evil!!! Gabriel suffered so much and begged for help and got none!! The people that did try to help, especially his teacher probably have so much sadness every day!!!
@@9188jenni I put off watching it until I was in a better headspace. Part of me felt like I owed it to little Gabriel to hear his story. Sadly, there are just way too many stories like his.
I avoid that documentary like the plague because I know it will haunt me. I haven't even watched the trailer.
God bless the woman who comforted the young girl after being separated from her baby brother. In that moment she really needed just someone to rely on💖
She never see her brother again. I know it happened to me.
God bles that woman ??? I dont understand how they can do such an emocional harm on that babygirl and his brother.
Siblings should never be separated 🤬
I grew up in loving family. My parents have been together for 58 years. We do not realise how incredibly lucky we are having plain ordinary life. My paretnts are poor but love is something you can give for free.
I wish all kinds had my experiance.
Never separate siblings. Can’t stop crying!
They literally can't place some of them
They shouldn't place one with out the other . foster families should be required to agree to take both or neither
You just know that was her baby too 😭 she was likely mothering him more than their own mother. I know coz I help raise my brother too 😭
Lisa Ling is a true journalist, not imposing her beliefs or opinions, just presenting a news story with no personal bias. Too bad they "so-called" news anchors on TV couldn't be like her
*Cough Piers Morgan cough *
Yes l have always liked Lisa Ling! She does a good job!
She is awesome
Lisa is fearless This job is her passion.
I've always liked Lisa Ling. I remember when I was in high school,we had something called channel one news that the school played for us every day. That's where I first saw Lisa Ling n Maria Menounos. There was also a blonde girl in there that I've seen recently working as a journalist but I can't remember her name.
I’m actually getting certified to be a foster mom in a couple of days and it hurts to see how siblings get torn apart I only said I’ll take in one child but just might have to reconsider 😭🥺
I’m in exactly the same position. I said only one but oh my gosh this is heartbreaking 😔
Try your best not to separate siblings please 😭
@princess tdej me and my husband we are foster parents and we also adopt kids.
Thank you 🫶🏽🫶🏽
Same. I’m trying to get a bigger vehicle now so that I can make sure I’m able to take sibling groups.
My husband and I want to be foster parents and this documentary makes me want to be a foster parent so much more! We would never separate siblings.
Did you ever foster? Please consider it if not, we need more loving foster homes
God bless you and please do it.
We said the same thing when we first became foster parents of not separating siblings... until in two different cases, one sibling of each group consistently tried to severely harm the others, and it became necessary to separate. Just recently, we received the oldest child who was being separated intentionally from her siblings at their first foster home because she was hurting her siblings. We were able to greatly help her -- all the siblings benefited to have space. (It reminds me of growing up with my own crazy brothers - I wouldn't have minded being separated from them for a time! :) Once they reunified, through counseling and lots of work, the three girls were able to get along much better and trust each other and not hurt each other. Another time it was the youngest child who would threaten our own children, his siblings, and our animals. He especially tried to hurt our toddler. It was best for him to find a different home with lots of individual attention and time to break up the habitual pattern of being violent to everyone around him -- and it worked! :) It also gave his sweet sisters time to heal and not be stuck in fearing him and starting over and over again the cycle of violence/fear. These kids come to us so broken that sometimes it's best to give the kids breaks from each other, especially if one of the children is dominate and violent. God bless you in this great work :)
I’m sitting here crying trying to imagine my 14 year old daughter saying goodbye to her little sister. I always tell her that if anything ever happened to me , I need her to watch out for her sister. I bet the little girl in the video being terribly worried about her little brother. May they be blessed and protected.
I couldn’t stop crying I wish I can help to reach out to her to help them some how! Even to make sure they know someone cares and is concerned for them 😔
I'm in here balling my eyes out
This part made me cry. All these adults around watching these children suffer. It’s sounds fishy to me why someone would take a 4 year old with out the older sibling. At least the older sibling can help take care of them.
I'm was crying too. Kids firs!!!
😭
I swear Lisa Ling is one of the best Reporters in the world EVER!!!!
She has such a good heart ♥
The siblings being separated.. I can’t atop crying.. these poor innocent angels. I can’t wait for the day where I am financially stable enough to be a foster mom & be able to provide a safe, nurturing & loving environment.
I have very mixed feelings about the system. Dcfs entered mine and my twin sisters life at age 2. My sister was removed at age 12 and I was removed at age 14. It took several broken bones for both of us to finally be removed and while yes we were finally safe no one wants to adopt a teenager so we went to separate group homes and while I was a huge basketball buff and had huge opportunities instead we both fell into drugs. Today my twin sister is still a drug addict. I myself have 18 years clean but I struggled. On my own I got a bachelor's degree and now with a 13 year old son I work with him on what he wants his future to look like. In a group home you're just a body filling a bed. I want my son to know he will eventually be a man and need to be self supporting but I also want to give him the tools and be a constant support.
Congratulations on your progress.
I hope that your child's father is involved in his life and that everything goes well for you both. ❤
Imagine getting placed into a scary, unknown situation, and then getting the one person you feel comfortable with and safe with plucked from you. So heartbreaking
@Karma's Coming exactly
@Karma's Coming That I will agree.If anybody doubt it,do some research.
Do we dare touch on how racism has affected us in the white sanction state, Oregon. I miss my baby boy.
Awful 😞
The way she was throwing herself on the bed in pain made me cry that was awful.
I was a foster child and this system is beyond corrupt it’s sickening
Me too. ❤❤ we are the survivors and we're strong. Don't forget it
Me too. I was in the system for 12 years
@@chrisgould101 yes you are♥️
This makes me so sad 😞 I’m so sorry you had to go thru this
me three
Lily's grandmother was ready to give up her life and move to a different state with almost no warning, and I think that's testimony of her being willing to do a lot for that little girl. I hope she can be reunited and mum can get sober.
I think that the system should not just tell parents what they need to change, but actually help them get there. Parents are pretty much on their own in their fight to get sober, and it's hard.
It's not people's job to fix anyone
@@coffeepeachesplans it actually is dcf's mission statement also states that they are supposed to help parents get into services and refer parents to services and they, at least in my experience never do that
No they are not free housing food stamps. Counseling therapy. Work programs parenting classes are all offered. Some people just don't care
@@marialuyan fair is fair of they offer to the kids is all that matters really in that sense
There are services available for the birth parents. But they have to accept the help. Nobody can force them. Unfortunately, sometimes they choose the drugs instead. It is a hard thing to witness.
The teddy bear-giving judge seems like a MEGA sweetheart! Love him!!💘💘
The court split me and my brother up as children. It was a lifetime of damage. Siblings should never be split up.
I agree. I'm sorry that you were separated. Have you stayed in touch?
So what was the options neither of you got a home. Some people are.only looking for 1 child .
Do not.blame rh e people who split you up blame your parents who could not would not take care of you place the blame where blame belongs
@@donnadovico8694
I can both agree and disagree with your take on things. I appreciate the logic and reason, I can also agree with not misplacing any blame in such a situation. I suppose I can also appreciate the trauma for the children, having already lost one or both parents(recalling that many of these parents do love their children but for whatever reason cannot care for them- they're not all abusive, some become homeless, to name one such difficulty) and then coming to lose their sibling/siblings on top of that.!?. That's insult added to injury.
Life is not always black and white my friend, but endless shades of grey.
Blessings to you.
@@mamamarianovits9029 It really is a logistical issue.
If the found homes can only take one child, then sibling groups of 2,3,4 or even more are pretty much forced to be split up.
It absolutely sucks, but not every adoptive home can accommodate the groups & the ones that can are far & few between.
I’m sorry for what you had to go through, that’s what I was saying that the damage is already done by separating leaving the house and go to some stranger’s places and on top of that separating siblings that’s just heartbreaking, the system try to protect but doing so much emotional damage when it could be atleast not separating siblings, it’s like trauma after trauma. Do you get feeling of being scared to be left ?
I got my son taken from me on January 4th 2019 he got out of my house it was cold I had a xanax problem I was a single mom and didnt have food they took my son and the next day I entered into drug court I got clean I did parenting classes I went to counseling I was subjected to drug tests every week I did everything I needed to do I got my son back August of 2019 and graduated drug court December 8th 2020 and my cps is officially closed and I have full custody back and I know how devastating it is to get your child taken from you I laid on the floor for 3 days I thought some one died I didnt think I would ever get my son back but if I can do it so many parents can do it you just have to do whatever you can
I have faith in you
Same here, so happy for you! Honestly one of the best things to happen to me because I straightened out and have a way better like now!
Proud of you . Kids are worth fighting. They should not be our mistake
Similar story. First child 9 years ago, I was an addict for 10 years prior. Had no idea drugs were even bad, got her taken, got into treatment center was on soboxone for 7 years. I had a 2 month set back 4 years into my recovery (she was 4), lost her to a family member straightened up again just as fast. 1.5 years out of the soboxone program 5.5 years sober from the drug life and my second child is 3, my infant is 6 months and another due in November. Failing ever again, is NOT and never will be an option 💕
Congratulations on getting clean and fighting to get your son back. 💛
No food but you have brand name drugs
Idk how I came across this video but seeing the siblings get separated made me so emotional. 😢 Children are so innocent. They didn't ask to be here. They deserve to be loved unconditionally. ❤ My heart goes out to these foster parents. They truly are angels on this earth. 🙏🏽
I heard that little boy just say he wanted to go home they probably didn't need to take him from his family in the first place this is how the system works for funding
It shouldn't be an option for any siblings to be separated
Im frustrated that after being in an abusive relationship in my teens, I am ineligible to become a foster parent. He lead to me being charged for possession of Marijuana, his Marijuana. I lost my children for 3 months, despite never failing a drug screen. I am now a registered nurse. Volunteer at my children's school. Take them on field trips. Work with all ages from newborns to hospice as a nurse. I have taught Children's Church for years.
Growing up in a dysfunctional home and then experiencing first hand what the foster care process is like is exactly why I would like to give back. There is hope for both children and adults to grow from their trauma and start again.
People think these cases are black and white on both sides. They arent. It can be so much more than that.
I was adopted and survived the system ..my adoptive home kicked me out when I was 17 because I wouldn’t sign “ disability papers” so they could not continue to bank in ..I was homeless but graduated college..and now doing the sacred work of breaking biological cycles. I had six adoptive brothers and sisters and one biological ..none of them are independent or functional, my biological brother is missing.. one committed suicide..Everyday I fight for them.
Thinking about writing a book LOL a lot more to the story.
You should write a book people need to know how the system is. Congratulations on getting through college.
I admire you for refusing to scam the system, and instead using your abilities to become a contributing member of society. 🏆
Please write your book ...
Your words are truth and unveiling the other world of DCF, fostering, CPS . I would buy it 👏🇬🇧❤
God bless you❤️
trust me i been there but writing abook will seem great i would love to hear a story time about your life
This aired in 2014. Would be nice to have an update on each case/kids 7 years later.
I was a foster child for the last ten years until I aged out. I was lucky to be raised by different families in a rural area under the direction of a great social worker. We need good people to be helpings raise these kids to prevent this cycle. Whether or not they live with them.
It seems like a lot of foster children are constantly removed from their temporary home and place them elsewhere.
Do you have any idea why?
It seems so counterproductive.
Completely agree
So happy when the lady got her daughters back and the oldest daugter finally smiled...such a beautiful smile, girl. ❤️
I’m buying a home this year and I’m going to explore the process to become a foster parent. I don’t have any children and I’m a law enforcement officer as well as a youtuber ☺️. I believe I could provide a safe home and love and nurturing to children who need it until I start my own family.
@Ten Ways To Wear It
You a hero💜..God bless you😊
God bless you. We need more women like u.
That is wonderful sis. Very noble, just don’t let it interfere with your dating life if you aren’t in a serious relationship yet
ten ways to wear it that is my goal as well I work at a daycare & have so much love for babies and kids
Bless your heart and congratulations on buying your new home!❤️
I just don't think you should separate siblings... that's doing much more harm to them than good in the long run.
Right? They should have left the little boy with his sister until they could find someone to take them both.
I wish it were a perfect world. But my understanding is that past a certain age, understandably, different sexes have to have different bedrooms. Meaning a foster parent would have to have 2 separate beds available in 2 different rooms. In an already over run foster system that's highly unlikely to happen. These foster parents aren't paid enough in Southern California to afford a huge house. $800 a month doesn't even cover a 1 bedroom apt.
I agree . DCF is already giving them severe PTSD just coming in and taking them. They should stay together during this. They also are unfortunately a broken system. They take children sometimes that shouldn’t be taken away. They will take children from moms who are single mothers and they’ll be labeled like they can’t care for them or support them.. simply cause they are alone with multiple children on the system. They are not abused and it’s just a horrible thing that they do to those mothers. Not always, but it happens. They system is broken in many ways and unfortunately that is one. They take kids for reasons they shouldnt when they just need help, and then label they unable to care or support their kids.. yet bring them into a system that can’t support them either or have no home for them. They also do not treat the foster parents right that are actually there to take in these kids. It’s all horrible. DCF thinks they are above the law since they are not governed the same way as other systems. It’s really wrong. Against the parents fighting for their kids and deserve their children, and the poor foster families are not being told important info or allowed any info about their medical or family life before being taken and why. A lot needs to change. The higher ups need to be fired and changed.
@TheeChosen One you a cps worker?
@@cherylcurry4399 exactly and l was in a foster home the people were so overwhelmed also in previously a home where I was molested and dcf covered it up until I told my doctor to release info
I’m crying so bad because this can be anyone and god knows I can’t be without my baby
In tears watching this while laying next to my 7 month old son. I can't imagine life without him smh this is terrible.
@@shamina679 yes😭😭real tears
My 2 year old is taking her nap and I'm bawling my eyes out here watching this.
I feel like Monica's story is a prime example of this.
THIS right here is why I plan on being a foster mom. Once my own kids grow up and go off to college...I have a 5 bedroom house that will feel VERY empty without kids running around. We also live in an area where there are not enough foster homes. I plan on opening my home to whatever kids might need a loving, safe environment. Infants, teenagers, siblings, I'll take 'em all!!!
This is such a beautiful idea! I hope you pursue this
I hate the fact that children have to suffer for their parents mistakes. When I laid down and created my 4 beautiful children I gave my life totally to them. There’s nothing in this world that can stop me from making sure they live a good life.
Girl, Periodt! and I only have one, but she's my world, she comes first in everything and before anybody.
Your comment just brought me to tears..
Such a simple, selfless concept.
It's ALL about putting innocent children FIRST.
Edit: I'd like to add on that thought.
However,
Although there ARE some parents who are downright selfish and put "partying" before their children..
We also have to keep in mind that every situation is different and some people have severe mental issues.. they may have been extremely abused their entire lives and might be dealing with past trauma (for example) and sadly, many times traumatized people have a difficult time dealing with stressful situations and do not have any coping skills so they turn to substances in order to numb their pain and don't have any intentions of emotionally hurting their children but they have their own psychological issues that they never got under control.
That being said, I'm NOT making excuses and it's extremely unfair to the innocent children but just please try to understand that many people are walking around very damaged for a LOT of different reasons. Everyone processes and handles things differently.
I know it's difficult to remember that when you see children dealing with the consequences.
And their daddy? Men need to be held accountable for parenting. To imply the burden of childcare must fall on Mommy is misogynistic, archaic, and ridiculous. Men need to stop "lying down" if they don't plan to stay.
I agree we all want our children to live the best life and we're all try to do our best. However, you have to remember addiction isn't easy and it's easy to judge others when you haven't been in the situation yourself.
@@madanger7993 but if the man is no good why not get an abortion..only a women decideds who is born and who not..us women get a second chance if we want to be a mother or not..men dont get a second chance...
I got so emotional when Monica son said he wish he was in foster care instead of his sisters because he could handle it better...😣 no child should ever though that.
He had to grow up much faster than necessary. So responsible at a young age 😔
He's a good man. A good person. You can already tell.
He’s a strong young man... May God Bless him and his family 🙏🌺❤️
Monica is a bad mother. That doesn't go away because she took some parenting classes. You should do a check on that son of hers......I would be curious to know if he is a thug.
This piece was good, but had too much sympathy for these bad mothers.
@@TheBierman19 you have some strange choice of words. You call her a bad mother, but look how her children are towards her. They love their mother and want to be with her clearly. The “thug” label you put on her son gives a racist undertone, because it’s a word mostly put on black people. Some parents never put in the work and she did, and yet here you are calling her a bad mother. Maybe you’re thinking of your own, but what you said was unnecessary.
Monica will undoubtedly be a fantastic mom now. I admire her perseverance and introspection. Sad that this can't be the case for all parents who lose custody of their children.
Isaac and Alishia are angels as are loving, caring Foster carers like them. Bless them ❤️❤️❤️
I love Lisa Lings documentaries. She has such a kind, understanding personality. She seems to really understand how nuanced all of this is. Dealing with a world full of broken humans means that none of this is easy. This was heartbreaking to watch. So glad Monica got her girls back in the end ❤️
Was just thinking that shes pretty selfless, service to others around addressing through her seeking the truth.... inspiration is this.
Well-said. She's even calm and non-judgemental to the pariahs of the community and allows them to tell their sides with an impassive look on her face. This is what true journalism is and the #1 rule: no bias.
@@oliviamartini9700 👌
@@ZootZinBootZ c no
Me too . I love Lisa Ling . She’s the perfect person to do these documentaries . She’s amazing with a big heart .
How does the court deem a mother fit to care for a child, but not the other 2? That baffles me! That women's story was heartbreaking. The system is so broken. We have to do better man....
Probably because he is older and can care for himself a bit more and they wanted to make sure she wouldn't get overwhelmed having all 3 back at once maybe 🤷🏼♀️
They she her fighting to get her babies and THEY DONT LIKE IT
@@thepopularlonewolf4699 Ummm that’s definitely NOT it! 😂
They do that because the mother is on a reunification plan to slowly bring her family back together again. They start with the oldest child. Then increase visits with the remaining children. That’s why she spending entire weekends with the other two. Weekends are towards the end of the reunification plan. If the mothers aren’t meeting other requirements or passing classes they only see the kids once a month or every two weeks. Time with the kids increases as the mothers progress is made. That part isn’t why the system is broken.
@Divine Power depends on what state and County. In Oregon you have visits 2 times a week, or atleast 1 weekly.
None of this is easy, but remember the wonderful foster parents out there. I send them lots of love, and recognition, may God bless them all!!!.
You just got to love Lisa Lang
The running theme in each of these stories is an absent father. I understand that not all single mothers turn to drugs or whatever it is that warrant a child to be taken, but let’s not forget they’re trying to do everything on their own while “dad” gets to live unbothered. I think before absent fathers are allowed to walk back into their kid’s life whenever it’s convenient, they should be required the same steps. Classes and reunification process. These sweet kids are so innocent and my heart breaks for them trying to wrap their mind around the unknown. The older of Monica’s two daughter’s she was fighting to get back, is already struggling you can tell.
I couldn’t agree more!
Your right, these men need lessons in childcare
A man leaving their child is child abuse to me!!!
Most times, in my experience, mothers won’t give information or they don’t know who dad is. This makes it difficult to place them with dad or his family.
Actually, an easier solution would be to make it socially unacceptable to have out of wedlock births again
I'm a foster parent...our kids are a sibling set of 3 which is so hard to keep together ❤ Helping them heal from their past traumas and abuse has been the hardest thing I've ever done but they are so worth it.
God bless you, He will make it easier for you in Jesus Name
Thank you ❤️
❤🍀
Thank you 💕 your amazing for helping these babies
@@MacchiatoSwirlGirl Our family is amazing we are so blessed to have them!
That foster family was really nice they actually seemed genuine. They even said “we’re not here to judge.” I thought everyone wanted infants I didn’t think it was hard to place. Also Lilly resembles her grandma so much! You can definitely tell they are related.
I'm so glad my neice and nephew were put together with someone who actually cares and loves and still let's us be apart of there lives. She will be adopting them soon
Having grown up in foster care, I know how these kids feel. They separated me from my little sister. The great thing is that her adopted parents let us have time together. It helped.
Sending love ❤️ to you
I’m sorry, I know emotional pain is greater and it’s hard to understand for some people with lack of empathy
Outrageous.... shame on those parents! If I was adopting a little girl who also had an older brother who needed a home, I'd adopt them both or not adopt them at all. I would never separate siblings by only adopting one. especially if there are only 2 kids! They should have adopted you as well...
@@thetruepatriot7733 that’s what I’m saying, totally agree with you
It should become an international law. Siblings can not be separated. If a family cant adopt Siblings then they are kot the best option.
My mother wanted to adopt my nephew and HIS sister but the mother signed her over to HER grandparents. Mother had mental health, addiction, and Dad too. My mom was heartbroken they were separated. They grew apart.
I foster teenagers and I hope this documentary opens the hearts of many of you to also become foster parents. There’s a huge need in your communities and you couldn’t fathom some of the horror stories we hear regarding the trauma the kids go through. They need loving homes and foster parents who understand the importance of building a relationship with the bio parents in order to facilitate their safe return home.
I would love to do it but already have a handful of my own. Hopefully people open their doors to other kids. I’m not willing to take any attention away from my kid or potentially put her in harms way as she’s disabled. But maybe one day I can help but for now. No. Everyone who can’t doesn’t always have a reason though.
Most cannot ever go home safely, sad to say. I'm a Social worker, and successful treatment of neglectful and abusive parents is difficult. Most don't change
@@emilykliemann4346 False. Most children CAN go home. MOST children are removed for dumb reasons.
@@scourge3 As a SW, I know that children are only removed as a last resort. Abuse and neglect are not dumb reasons. They have to be taken away to save them or they get beaten and sometimes killed
@@emilykliemann4346 No they are not, SOME children are NOT removed as a last result. Sometimes they are removed because SW lie to the court....tell me THAT doesn't happen.
I hope they will give Lily to her grandmother. She seems like a very nice person who loves her daughter and her granddaughter
5:05 that is honestly one of the cutest little babies I’ve ever seen in my life ❤️ I hope for her sake and her mother’s that she is reunited.
Sadly, that luh girl mammie is down bad on dogfood. But God hears all prayers
*siblings are family. the family should not be further broken apart when kids separate from their parents UNLESS there's severe dysfunction between the siblings.*
Agreed as that absolutely isn’t in the children’s best interests as the sibling unit is usually so tight because it’s them against the world 😢.
As I said before, unless you’re a foster parent willing to take a couple kids, you’re really not in a position to judge. As I said before there’s a severe shortage of foster care. And maybe only room for one child in a home that has an opening.
@@janetpattison8474 *how presumptuous and ignorant of you. do you think foster care is an exclusive club, and you're the spokesperson? i've known foster care for 30 years, i know what i'm talking about and stand by what i said.*
Can you imagine what’s going on at the borders?! They are dropped off at the literally border, they just showed a clip on the news about children dropped off from the top of the wall! My heart just broke! And now when the siblings are separated and the little girl is crying!!!! This is our America is getting very sad.
@@SallyM-7777 it's worse because we can't care for other countries children
Monica is a mama bear....I pray her family is back together and whole.
How the hell are you going to take a woman's children away for trying to protect them?! Absolutely disgusting.
I agree with you Robyn so sad my brother and sister were took an away when we were little kids and that has haunted me and I used to tell them when I get old enough I’m gonna get you and when I got old enough I got them I’m going to pray for this lady Monica I would’ve done the same thing for my children the system sucks ....You got a mother fighting for her children to protect them and she gets punished for it and then you got mothers that don’t give a crap about their kids and let their kids get abused by their boyfriends they need to check themselves
Watching the big sister have to say goodbye to her little brother absolutely broke me…
Lisa is such an incredible storyteller and interviewer. She’s not judgmental and allows for people to tell their story.
I was in foster care for a few years. I was abused emotionally, physically n sexually. I was a check to these families n a punching bag. It's not just LA. Only 1 family I was placed with cared n even loved me. I'll never forget them. I feel sick seeing this. I'm scared for them. May GOD b in the hearts of their caregivers.
God bless u
🌻
So sorry you had to endure that abuse. God Bless You ✌🏽
I don’t understand, we had a little boy placed in our care. CPS were on us all the time it seemed that they were on us like we were on trial with the child. We had to account for everything. We had to have a daily time line, it was very stressful. I can’t imagine that who ever was in charge of you really really dropped the ball.
I can’t see how they can get away with this? I’m so sorry you went through that.
My heart is so hurt to hear your story ! It angers me so much to know this happens 😡🤬😤
I am so pissed that they separated that sister & brother!!!! How heart / gut wrenching! 💔💔😭😭😭
You’re angry that the kids are separated? Did it occur to you that there wasn’t a home that could put the children together? Not to be a smart Alec, but why don’t you become a foster parent and open open your own home up to children who need care? And then you can take siblings in.
@@janetpattison8474 People are allowed to be upset by that even if they aren’t the gold standard for you, Janet. You don’t have to be a foster parent to know that that is a very big flaw in the system.
Foster parents and social workers do agree that that’s a flaw also, just FYI. Separating siblings causes trauma and can even cause PTSD. There need to be better solutions in these situations.
I was really upset when Monica told her story. If the police weren’t coming to help her protect her children what else was she supposed to do? They need to worry about the actual children who are suffering like the little boy who died.
Ps . Maybe she saved her child’s life that day, we’ll never know
It's unfortunate that the mother chose a violent scumbag as her boyfriend and that bad decision made it all snowball afterwards.
Parents must make good choices and put their children first.
The fact that her son had previously been removed when he was younger, tells me that she just doesn't learn!
It should be illegal to further put the innocent children through more trauma by separating them from each other. Either take all or leave them at the welcome center.
Odd that police didn’t listen when that mom would call for help when the man was hurting her and taking her daughter. Then when she stood up against him on her own she got in trouble.💀
Yesss. I would do the same if someone kidnapped my children!
I agree completely and wood also do the same, every person on this planet makes mistakes and it's not perfect and has their own life situations and things that happens then that make them see things a certain way, that's individuality that's exactly what makes the human human. It's not her fault that she couldn't see behind the charming narcissistic facade that guy had going on or that she was in foster care herself and probably never saw true love parental love or even respect, so how would she recognize exactly what that is??
Race.
@@gwynetharmour3341 how are they gonna know her race, if they didn't even show up?
I think if she had money she could have afforded a better lawyer and she wouldn’t have gotten that much time.
When the sister said ‘See you soon’ to her brother 🥺🥺😢😢😢😢😢😢
I thought the brother said that
Broke my heart!
@@queena4713 I know…horrible!
I had to pause the video several times, because I can’t stop crying 😭
@@kinstindoula4958 oh...maybe. Still heartbreaking 😢
Monica made a bad decision but clearly worked so hard to get her babies back. So happy for this family❤️
Hello Lisa how are you doing hope you’re having a great time with your family may God bless you and your family
Hello 👋 Lisa
“You gotta be strong for your brother “ she’s been strong for too long she has every right to cry without orders
Sooooo are we glossing over the fact that this lady child’s school let some man take her from school. I don’t see what she did wrong honestly. You don’t play games with ppls children. That was the only moment she had to potentially get her kid back. But the police showed up then. Did that man get kidnapping charges?
She may have had him listed on the kids school paperwork. The school wouldn’t have known he had malice intentions.
It was her stepfather and he was on her paperwork
@@Blanchardem she said she called the police after she found out he took the child but they didn’t show. Yet they showed when she shot the gun in the air and arrested her. What about the abusive ex? Did he get kidnapping charges? Guess we’ll never know
@@aleksandrachernigina5125 i agree with u.. cps. Seems to take kids that shouldn't be or not taking ones that should of(end up dead ect🥺). Its so messed up ..i probably would of done the same as the 1st mom if cops didn't come..
Unless something was left out of the story, that mom (and definitely her kids) are just being further traumatized. Wouldn’t a gun safety class be more appropriate? Why would parenting classes be necessary? If she had gotten a DUI, wouldn’t she be required to attend AA or driving classes?
After what happened to Gabriel things definitely need to change
Lisa Lang is in the same category of All the Great Story tellers. Like Bill Curtis, George Page, Sir Attonburgho and Peter Coyote!!...ThankYou for being sooo Great!! We Love You ❤ Lisa!!.... and!! We are in serious need of more Judges like the one You interviewed in Family Court.
Yes @ 54 I took guardianship of my 7&8 year old grandkids.
Thank you!
My mom was a DCFS worker in CA my whole life. It was a tiring and thankless job. We even had kids stay at our house because there was nowhere else for them to go. Blame the system for failing if you like but honestly some people shouldn't have kids.
A lot of ppl like your mom need so much more appreciation and training in situations like that. A lot of people should not have kids you’re right but the system has failed children and workers alike. So many children have died when there was something that could be done 💔
Your Mom is a hero! God knows my Mom should have NEVER been allowed to have kids.... I made a conscious decision to stop the cycle with my kids. They are all happy, healthy and well rounded kids. Kudos to you and your mom! We need more of you all!
@@mystikone86 God bless you and all of us “cycle breakers” out here. It’s not always easy but it is so worth it. I can’t imagine treating my children the way I was treated. I almost didn’t have kids because I was so messed up. But really they saved me from self destruction.
It's sad when systems fail but much sadder it's the parents that fail
FACTS💯💯
😢💔🙏🏽 I was one of these children. My parents died and I had no one to care for me, and I aged out of the system, after so many (abusive) homes/placements. I hope all the children before, during my time, and after find peace, love, and blessings. 🥰
@ NativeB. I'm sad to hear that you had such a hard time. I'm sending hugs and love to you. Wishing you much happiness ❣️
I pray you are doing well 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
♥️
Native B. You deserve LOVE.
Wishing you a sweet life my dear!
Thanks Mommy and daddy!!!! I'm glad I ment so much 2 YOU!!!!
I remember preparing to go to college and deciding on a major. I really considered going into Social Work. But I soon realized how broken that system was. The social workers I saw were broke and stressed out. I couldn't justify getting into student loan debt just to get into a career where I can be certain to be miserable. And this was 30 years ago. I can only imagine how bad things are now.
It’s sad that some humans are so casual about creating another life. If you can’t take care of yourself, don’t create someone else.
Reckless and irresponsible are so many 😢
So true why people blaming the city if no one dont want take them in what they doing do
I have severe mental illness and I know I cannot take care of a child but I know other people like me who are too sick to know that they can't care for a child. They have children that often end up in state custody.
This is why birth control education and access and safe abortions are so important.
Exactly what I was thinking
I was a social worker for DCS in Arizona for over 2 years- there’s bad on alllll three sides! The parents/the department/the courts!!! All bad.
Yes .. all these kids in the system are in danger in every area of their lives from the judges , case workers , to the fosters . We have family members on both sides of this heartbreaking crisis . The number of kids missing from the system , just little kids , gone and nobody knows if they’re dead or alive .
Yes and unfortunately there are Cps workers who are dishonest and cause more trauma than actually helping. I agree there is bad on all 3 sides. And every one suffers.
I was a foster parent for three years, and I absolutely agree with your comment. In three years not one case manager came to the home. And I saw the neglect of the case managers in other situations that I wrote about in my comment.
Agreed!
😭
Fourteen children in 2 years?? That is horrifying and completely unacceptable!
I was taken away at age of 4 after my father took off with me both my mom and dad were addicts they found me cause my dad was in motel and didn’t check out and was passed out and my backpack full of syringes. It’s crazy I remember ra lot back then but I never remember drugs. But as a child u never notice that. My mom had to fight hard for me I was in another state so even harder. My younger brother she gave up for adoptions who was leaning off drugs after birth and my mom took off that family paid for my mom to fly back and for from California to my to fight the courts to gain me back. Took longer than my other siblings in her state. Finnaly after 9/11 a month later I flew home and 2 months later my dad passed away. I went thru a lot of shot going thru court foster care and other placements. But I admire my mother for how hard she worked! She didn’t just get clean she went above and beyond what other child had a hobby of riding horses in the city? She used my ssi for that and when my father passed she got me a horse cause I became great at riding at competing. She really truly turned her life around she because a drug counselor for the rehab she went through. Her best friend she found through rehab lives near her had same dealer and more her kids and us grew close 15 years later her best friend relapsed and my mom cut her off. I was shocked but my mom remained true to herself and told me “it’s sad she was my best friend but to remain on track and not to relapse you can not engage with people that do those things!” She was so strong she got rid of her close friend of over 15 years to make sure she don’t relapse herself. She is beyond strong to me and to from addict and us kids eating out of dumpsters to us having every opportunity including me having horse riding lessons and competitions which is one of the most expensive sports but she’ll take on a second job to help afford it cause to her it’s “great therapy” and it made my career not just a sport but a career for my future is so impressive! I always tell her how proud I am of her
Monica’s children deserve to be with her. So happy she got them.
Praise to almighty.
Yes
When Lily’s mom didn’t show up for visitation it literally killed me. My son is closed to Lily’s age and it just hit me like a ton of bricks watching that.
My little girls name is Lili and she is 91/2 months old. I couldn’t stop crying.
Literally killed you? How did you type this if you're dead?
Right? I cannot believe after everything she said about being a ‘bad’ mom but deserve a 2nd chance, she didn’t even go see her daughter once?! That was shocking.
I was a foster parent for years and that’s common actually. I’ve seen worse! I had a boy who I ended up with because he was never picked up from school and the mother never returned for him at all. They tracked her down and eventually set up visitation. She attended 1 of 9 scheduled visits then came to the last one with a car waiting outside just to tell him “I’m getting married and moving away with my new husband. So we can’t do these visits anymore. You be good ok!” Gave him a one armed hug and left. She never even got dropped off, the car just waited the 5 minutes it took her to say that. That was the end of his mom forever. It caused so much trouble for us in the aftermath. To the point that the agency had him removed from my home because he was no longer safe for my biological kids to be around. I fought to get him help and work it out by having him sent to a facility for behavioral evaluation so I could get an effective treatment plan going and the evaluation deemed him predatory for younger children. I sometimes wonder if after that experience he just hated kids who had biological moms who loved them. Or did it come from the experience of living with his mom since you can imagine how awful that must have been. He didn’t even know what basic food dishes were because he lived on cereal. Didn’t know what spaghetti was, sausage, pancakes, and so much more. Real food tasted so good he would moan loudly and inappropriately when he ate and we couldn’t take him to restaurants. The sad thing that the system does that I don’t like is they just chop you off from the child if they deem them unable to stay with you. I was told after the evaluation he could never return home. But that was going to be it! I’m like “But he thinks he’s staying here until his evaluation is over!” They eventually agreed to at least let us come see him and bring presents and a cake for his birthday since it was coming the next week. He was so excited! Then at the end we had to tell him we weren’t allowed to talk anymore. They say it does more harm than good for them to maintain any contact with foster families they can’t ever be adopted by but at least give us all time to break the bond over time. It feels so abrupt! We aren’t even allowed to be friends on Facebook! If we’re friends we have to delete each other. I still check his Facebook page to this day but he hasn’t posted in years. I remember wanting to get him to eventually get off of the behavior regulating drugs we were being prescribed in the interim before the facility for evaluation. They were getting increased and altered constantly trying to make him stable. I remember at dinner one night I said to him “I’m proud of you for how you handled that situation today. I told you that you can do it! Eventually I want you to get off these drugs, what do you think about that?” And his response was CRUSHING! He said “If we do that I’ll have to feel again. I feel numb now and that feels good. I want to keep them, I like not feeling stuff.”
@@DivinePower that breaks my heart so so much 😔 I really hope he’s ok
That broke my heart😢😢😢😢 that lil boy don’t know what’s going on that put me in the mind of my children I balled my eyes out 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
I once was a security guard at my local foster care office. I once overheard to foster parents conspiraring to make sure a biological mom would never get her kids back.
Another day I saw a foster parent return a six year old child, saying that it was too much work for her.