The Truth About Dutch Hospitality
Вставка
- Опубліковано 1 тра 2024
- Have you ever heard of the term "Going Dutch?" Did you know how it originated? I went to the country where the term originated from - the Netherlands to ask the Dutchies themselves what they think about "Going Dutch", the Tikkie culture, who actually pays on the first date and is it common to send out Tikkies for a dinner party at your own house?
David's channel: / @hidavidwen
Shop for our cultural merch here: shorturl.at/apzP6
E-guide for dating women around the world? 💁🏻♀️ shorturl.at/iwOT6
Dating in Scandinavia? Read "Sex Before Coffee" here: shorturl.at/rwIK2
Join DBB mailing list: shorturl.at/gpqsW
We used Epidemic Sound in this video. FREE MONTH: bit.ly/2TqSmBE
Dating Beyond Borders is a UA-cam channel that focuses on highlighting the cultural differences that come into play while dating people from other countries.
Videos out every Thursday - hit the bell button to receive notifications! 🔔
Follow DBB on Social Media!
Facebook: bit.ly/2K6uezQ
Instagram: bit.ly/313MSO9
TikTok: bit.ly/3D6Cha0
Website: dating-beyond-borders.com
0:00 What is "Going Dutch"?
0:49 What is "Going Dutch" according to Dutchies?
2:55 Are Dutch cheaper than Germans and Nordics?
3:29 Do the Dutch actually "Go Dutch"?
6:00 Were did "Going Dutch" originate from?
7:13 The Tikkie
7:39 Reddit Posts about the Smallest Tikkie Ever Sent
9:27 What is the smallest Tikkie that Dutchies send out or receive?
11:40 Why are Dutch considered "the cheapest"?
12:09 Do Dutch send Tikkie for dinner parties?
15:25 Conclusion
CREW:
Marina Iakovleva (directing)
/ youtubermarina
Sahra Abreu (video)
/ sahraabreu
Oleh Voitovych (editing)
/ olkowg - Розваги
Is "going Dutch" for you?
If my Dutch boyfriend "went Dutch" on me on our first date, we would not have had a second date. I am Serbian, by the way. I feel it would be the same for the nationals from many Mediterranean and Balkan countries as well.
@@worldcitizen677
not necessarily... my mother is of Georgian descent my dad is Persian but my street nickname is ROBOT... I want to have a girl without emotions likewise... are Dutch robots? Well unfortunately basically not... AS THEY SAY IN GERMANY HARTE SCHALE WEICHER KERN. Hard skin but soft core...
no i don't think so
@@worldcitizen677 Portuguese and Spanish go 50/50.
Never went dutch on a date. Only with a big group one pays for themselves.
In Turkey when we split, we was say "Alman usulü" which translates to "German way".
That is what the term going Dutch actually referred to back in the day in the US. It was a thing claimed to being Deutsch but since they don't know the difference it became a Dutch thing...and 🤔 I don't mind paying for myself, so call it Deutsch or Dutch I don't mind
English is full of "anti-Dutch" idioms such as "Dutch courage," "Dutch uncle," "Going Dutch," "Dutch treat," and "Double Dutch," which all originated from the Anglo-Dutch Wars in the 17th and 18th centuries, reflecting varying degrees of hostility or mockery towards the Dutch.
The historical context of conflicts between England and the Netherlands contributed to a lot of these idioms, showcasing how language can reflect past animosities or stereotypes.
Are there certain particular frictions between dutch and english?
I’m Dutch and I’ve never send a tikkie in my life. That’s a teenager thing, because they’re always broke 😂 By the way, I’ve also never been to a party where I had to bring food or received any tikkies? This is greatly exaggerated, sounds like it’s about a totally different country than I know all my life. Must be a generation thing.
A lot more expats in their anglophonic bubble regurgitating hearsay myths. Of course you split the bill of big dinner parties, if you leave the one with the big kitchen table to pay everytime your just an asshole, but this is way exaggerated.
you are so direct
The one time I was sent a tikkie was at a restaurant and was simply because it was easier for one person to pay the entire bill quickly than for all of us to pay individually. The guy simply checked the bill and sent all of us a tikkie equal to what we personally ordered.
your "friends" are probably your friends because of your money then.
@@tikket10no everyone does that, and we almost always ask the one who paid to send us a tikkie. We don’t like to owe people.
I would rather set myself on fire than ask someone I invited to my house for their share of the meal.
every balkan person is throwing up at the idea lol
@@vhilofaye1618hi sorry I'm confused, do you mean "throw up" at the ridiculous dutch custom or to the commenter above??
Are you a bit crispy, then? 😂
@@reichen666 Maybe Balkan people just like to throw up?
It happened to me once. A friend that had many dinners and snacks at my house, asked to pay when I ate at his place once. Paid and never ate there again.
I dated a girl from the Netherlands while at school in the USA. Also met quite a few Dutch women on vacation in Spain........ When we had our first date, she wanted that we split the bill. I insisted I would pay. After a while she agreed. Than few days later she surprised me with a nice dinner she cooked because I paid the bill. Fantastic woman.... Other Dutch women I met impressed me too in various ways. They are not cheap at all, at least in my experience.
I would love to see other countries from different parts of the world would react to "Go Dutch" in their respective countries 😂 , especially the women
yesss!
Spain, for example
How about 'going greek'
@@mikaleppakoski5113 what was your experience with a Greek?
This would be interesting actually
Usually the locals can spot the Dutch tourists because they tend to spend less than other Europeans when they go on holidays. Dutch holiday makers also love their caravans and campers so during the summer, you'll see a lot of them on the motorways.
and they bring everything from home. Bread, Potatoes, Beer. You name it.
*vacation
**Highway
Businesses must not like them too much
On the other hand, the Dutch bring everything for free to the EU and many, many, other countries throughout the whole world.
My ex is from NL and he's the cheapest guy I've ever dated. I was staying over his place and we went to supermarket together. He wanted to get jam for us to share but he made me pay for it. I only had two spoons and the rest of the jam sit in his fridge...
I wonder why he is your ex
Did you send him a Tikkie for the unused jam ?
@@ianandrews6890 omg I should have lol
I watched this and the previous video, and it explains my grandfather (whose own father (my great-grandfather) emigrated from the Netherlands to the USA at 19 years old) through and through. Cheapest man I’ve ever known and now I finally understand why 😂
Yes we have a grocery mentality. Many people read the prices in the supermarket and may even go to another supermarket because of certain price offers.
I'll share a bit about my country Croatia, if anyone is interesting in reading. if you are invited to someone's house for a dinner you can't just show up without bringing anything, if it is a kid's birthday or some kind of special event most people bring money in a little envelope and a card with something nice written along with the gift. That means often they essentially pay (or split the bill) the amount of money you had spend on the food and hosting for them. If it isn't a special event people usually bring at least something like a bottle of wine, or some sweets or flowers or other alcohol etc. if you are a high school kid or a university student out in a club or at someone's place or anywhere out drinking, usually everybody brings their own drinks. host will provide some alcohol an maybe some snacks but almost always you will bring whatever you plan on drinking or eating for yourself and then people of course share it afterwards, but generally everyone is mostly poor at that age so you aren't in a position to treat others. when you start earning and later in life we keep a count- one person pays for the round and then someone else pays for the round and so on that way essentially everyone paid for themselves just in a more complicated way. and if i pay for one coffee date with a friend they will pay for the next one. generally that's how it works we try to be fair and we also don't like to feel like we owe others money so everyone is constantly trying to pay for other people's food and drinks. there is even a funny ritual in which we fight over the bill and whoever is the most stubborn pays and then the other person pays next time and again after the same funny fighting ritual. it is just our way of showing we like this other person and we want to be polite, but no one is expected to pay all the time for everything. also there are some very generous people who pay for everyone all the time and I feel like most people don't like it bc they start feeling like they owe them. so the same idea is there of not wanting to owe anyone anything, we are just less direct about it unfortunately.
That's very similar to the Netherlands, except we don't have a ritual where we fight over the bill, and we may have fewer people who pay for everything
@@infj4w511 that is also what I noticed. Everyone says southern countries never split the bill, everyone is very generous etc, and that may be true if you are a tourist, or visiting a friend people will likely pay for you since you are a guest and that is how you show hospitability. But among locals we also keep check we are not just running around paying for everyones stuff all the time, there is an order to it although it doesn't look like that from outside. And when you do the math it is actually the same basic principle- don't use other people's generosity and don't owe money to other people.
I have nerver heard something like "going dutch" in Germany, splitting bills at restaurants is quite common, and also not "unfair", it would seem totally strange to pay for the order of someone else, except you have invited them. If you meet with friends at a restaurant or bar, nobody expects you pay for them. On dates you normally experience that the guy has to pay on first dates, and maybe on the 2nd, but when in a realtionship you normally split the bill or change who pays from occasion to occasion, but the whole tikkie thing is ridiculous. I just went to the app store and searched for "tikkie" and this proves it's a completely dutch thing, the app is only working with dutch bank accounts, which make it clear that it's not used somewhere else. Inviting people to a party and sending tikkies is insulting, you would loose all your friends in no time...
Want to say the same, thx. 🙋♂️🇩🇪
As a man, I expect to pay. If the girl wants to, she can, no problem. The money doesn't matter. Her company, conversation, and a good meal are what's important.
But you’re not Dutch right?
@@SnowWhiteArches Right. American. I went to Netherlands for the first time this summer, can't wait to go back.
as a dutch I would say you are desperate
Your company should be enough for her too. The money shouldn't matter for her either. But I understand it's just a cultural difference :)
it does make sense though, that something stereotypical for a country is not known in that country, because there it´s normal
Always love your videos....thanks a tonnes. You doing awesome job...😊
Interesting fact; you mentioned in your video at 6:23 that people couldn't distinguish between Dutch and Deutsch, in Türkiye we don't use "go Dutch" instead there is a phrase "go German" or in native "Alman usulü" meaning the "split the bill equally"
Great job Marina-I can see how much effort was put into this! I've come to appreciate "going Dutch" because it's just easy and efficient-it saves a lot of time and headaches because there's no expectation of "who will pay?" Because I also come from an Asian family, and we LITERALLY FIGHT to pay the bill (which can be a funny scene in itself)-but it does create expectations of who pays next time and can sometimes create conflict ("Oh but we paid for them last time, and they should pay this time")
But of course, I still think it's a nice, universal human gesture to offer to pay for others (or to serve) depending on the occasion!
It was a fun day with great memories-I learned a lot! Keep it up!
Thanks David! Was a fun day filming this 😁
It's also easy. For example, meeting with cousins and neices about ten in total to a restaurant. That would be a huge bill for one person especially if they have a lower salary. That may cause some tension. When splitting the bill we avoid that tension.
In italy is really common to split the bill with your group of friends mostly and we called it “alla romana” (in the Roman way). When we talk about the first date is the man to paying but it’s usually something very casual like having a coffee or a drink together (at least for the youngest generations). After the first date the couple will split the bills. At least that’s what I and all my friends do
col piffero, si divide in due anche al primo appuntamento. al massimo si fa il gesto di offrire, ma si spera che la ragazza insista per pagare la metà o la propria parte. I maschi non sono bancomat.
@@slavianalbanovich9025if you are the one to ask a person out on a date to dinner, then you pay, simple. If the interested party can not afford to pay for dinner on a first day then they should think of something else. I really don’t see a problem with a man paying for the first date. Mhm… but if he likes to date a lot of girls at once, then that’s his problem of having an expensive habit😂. A genuine man wanting a relationship will have no problem paying fir a first date bc he isn’t dating different girls every other week.
@@soullessnight6539 better to embrace the MGTOW philosophy.
In the Philippines, we do not use "going Dutch" but we use KKB or "kanya kanyang bayad" (kanya kanyang for "each" and bayad for "pay), which shares the similar concept as "going Dutch" where everyone is expected to pay for what they ordered.
These conditions apply to KKB (based on my observations, please feel free to correct me):
- Whenever someone invites us to join, either we ask if [the activity (eg. group meal)] is KKB or the one who invited will pay for the entire bill (otherwise called as "Libre" or "free"). In this way, expectations can be set for whether the "libre" means "unlimited" or "has a cap" (the one who will pay will mention the limit) and those who are invited are free to refuse/participate.
- KKB doesn't mean "your meal is only your meal." Filipinos love to share and what's in my plate can still be shared even if I am paying for it and whatever is in someone's plate can be shared too. However, it's still respectful to ask for that person's permission especially when the food in the plate is "quite interesting."
All accurate,Filipino here. Today, We use Gcash, Maya, or banking apps to transfer our share.
I love your channel ❤ TY!
Amsterdam represents the Netherlands as much as New York represents the usa... and when we in Netherlands have "An American Party" all know to bring their own stuff..
That’s so NOT “American” to bring your own stuff. I think your thinking of “American” is what we call “pot luck” where everyone brings a dish (you sign up to bring a main course, a salad, or side dish, or a dessert) the dishes are put out for everyone to have some and everyone has a small portion of different things. “Pot luck” is from the serving table where everything is put so that people can try out all the different kinds of food that people had brought being call the “Pot” and it’s a reference to America having people from all different cultures and country being known as a melting “Pop” of cultures. The “luck” is that the more people that come the more food you have and the Luckier you are to get to try all of the different cultural foods (it is an unsaid suggestion that you bring something that can be had by all and is from your cultural back ground or your favorite dish) of the people who are represented. Example: my wife and I went to a Pot Luck and brought a cake that whose recipe comes from Scotland and it has 16 servings Others brought dishes with 10 servings or 15 servings or even 20 servings. And your Lucky because you can stuff yourself with good things from all the different cultures.
I think dutch cheapness is embarrassing. If someone sent me a tikky for ,50 or 1 eur i would never talk to that person again in my life . I would tell this person to stick the tikky where the sun doesn't shine. There are limits to everything.
Trabalhei para um Holandês uma vez... ele até ficava com a caixa das gorjetas 😁... mas no fim do ano oferecia um jantar ao pessoal todo...vá lá
I know the Dutch pride themselves on being direct and honest; however, there's a difference between being honest and being a cheapskate. It can come off as tacky, when the desire to save money supersedes opportunities for sincere human interactions and relationships. And for the record, I understand that not all Dutch people are like this.
Being direct and honest has nothing to do with splitting the bill and splitting the bill is not being a cheapskate. It's about equality. Maybe where you are from equality is not on the same level. It's also not about saving money. It's just fair.
@@Nicholas_V I do support equity in sharing expenses, let's say in the context of dating; however, I was referring more to not expecting to be compensated if I host guests for dinner or a party, or if I offer food or drinks to others, or if my children had other kids visit and our household was soon to have dinner - I would invite my children's friends to join us for the meal. With no regard for reimbursement.
@@Nicholas_V it has nothing to do with equality. People saying this are indoctrinated and manipulated by a pretense westerner has been conditioned upon. Women and men are not biological equal. Women has higher expenses, just by being a woman. Equality means women fights for equal rights, for equal pay. However, society is harsh and isn't equal at all. If a woman dated a lot of men, she is labelled as cheap and a "slut", if a man does, he is the hero. It's just a women's natural instinct if she wanted to feel protected, wanted to be provided, wanted to collect things. Women nowadays are quite hard (on the inside), they are more manly, they should be more soft from the inside and out. Opposite attracts. What's shockingly is that they don't even realize that they have been indoctrinated and manipulated into thinking this way. And even men nowadays have lost their instincts, e.g. in having a family, providing for their wife and children, protecting them, making them feel safe and loved. Think about it, next time you talk about equality.
@@cqtayloryou think dutch people charge their guests for the food they serve? 😂
Just bullshit all extreem examples of things that sometimes happen!
Another great video 😊
Interesting video
In Italy we say "fare alla romana - going Romans" but the grand total is divided by each customer and not individually. We are usually much generous but also have a lot of friends so it's a practical solution avoiding causing disconfort to the restaurant owner and also avoiding the most generous to hurt their finances. In a date men always pay
This only works if you all are eating and drinking approximately the same. If you have some who don’t drink or only order a main meal whilst the rest order entree, main, dessert and wine, it simply isn’t fair at all. The person only ordering a main meal may only be doing so bc that is all they can afford.
This subject really has taken time in your videos more than it deserves
YNYD series please 🙏🏽
My husband is pure German and he is a gentleman for 28 yrs of our marriage. Whatever I want he is fine with it. He told me if you want to work then work if you don’t then don’t. He hosts friends and in Canada people would think you are screw loose if you sent someone a tiki.
He sounds like my husband. He has exactly the same thoughts about it being my choice if I work. He is happy to support us both if wanted/ needed.
Sounds like you have a wonderful man. I don't understand how women get turned on by stingy men
Nice video, Marina
this is also very common in austria - to split the bill when you are out (on date ore just wth. friends), and waiters ask when they bring your bill if you are paying "together or separate. and tbh it works perfectly and i think it is very fair and relaxed
Yes the only stressful part was to tip. We needed to think quickly on how much and say a number back to the unfriendly waiter. Luckily Austrians are very nice (except when working as waiters), and I always handed them my money and asked them to please tip, because I sure can’t think that quickly on backward numbers 😅
hahah! yes, i think there is even a saying (for people who are from Vienna at least), that you know you are home, when waiters are unfriendly😂 😂. but, i think they get more grumpy then really unfriendly and we are all used to it here. and also you can be grumpy back, and then in the end you become like sort of friends. it is hard to explain😅😅. but i don´t think the tipping is as rigorous as in e.g. usa; there is not exact percentage you have to tip a waiter, but people always usually do (like, if it is a small order, we "round it up", and if it is a bigger order then we go into procentages)
@@klimtkahlo only in Vienna, the service in tirol (west austria) is fantastic.
Zusammen oder getrennt? 😬
In Germany we don't have an expression which means "going dutch". Maybe the culture of "everyone pays the amount which he/she has ordered" is so ingrained in us that we don't need any expression for that? IDK. Would an german version of Tikkie be successful in Germany? Up till now: no. I'd consider charging me small to very small amounts as rude and stingy, and I'm suspecting many other germans are thinking the same way. I'm supposing charging tiny amounts is inefficient, and germans love efficiency, so there is no chance for a german Tikkie.. But, hey, what will it look like in the future?
There is an app! Splitwise and settle up are the ones I have been sent by Germans! The craziest thing I have split was a parking ticket that was 2 Euros, there were 4 of us so 50¢ each, I was just getting to know my date and I think he felt a bit embrassed so he paid on my behalf haha and then when we went for dinner it was 2,10€ at his friends and he also paid on my behalf. I never experienced that in my life. Funny thing is they are not poor. They are all relatively wealthy - southern Germans - but they have a bad Reputation even by other Germans for being cheap especially the schwabs. Once a friend of his mad us walk a long way to another bar because the beer was 45¢ cheaper there. I am used to it now and just laugh about it - it's the only way to stay sane though haha
@@michz9304 I'm from southwestern Germany and know definitely what you're talking about. Splitwise and Settle Up are new to me. (btw I don't live there anymore.)
As someone from south Germany it's pretty common to give back 1-2€ to your friends if they paid for you. People will even ask for their one Euro back. Just in cash and not via app. The German way haha
@@Pewtah Bist du ein Schwabe? Haha no judgements, they're nice people but the penny pinching is way too much it even ruins their life sometimes. This friend I know saved a lot of money by living in a tiny shared apartment with no windows for almost 10 years but he ruined almost every relationship and a big part of it was because of his cheapness, so now he has money for a house which was his dream but nobody to live in it with him and make it a home. And it is hard for him to change at this point. He's on the more extreme case but others I know can't really enjoy their life to the fullest because they're always doing the math in their heads and it leaves little room for spontaneity. Where did you move now btw? I am also thinking of moving in the near future :)
@@michz9304 I can very well imagine the person you were talking about there. In Swabian dialect, there is the term "Entenklemmer" for such stingy people. I remember the TV broadcast of the play "Der Entaklemmer" in the 1980s well, because it matched the character well, the dialect anyway. I come from one of the neighboring regions of the Swabians and therefore know the "trench battles" between those regions well. I am now in Berlin and enjoy the cosmopolitanism and liberal spirit that is lived here.
I like your content ..always learn something interesting…until next time …….Alex 💕🇬🇷
I would like to add the nuance that the Netherlands is actually split up in many ways. Culturally we often speak of above and below the rivers, but in terms of cheapskate-ness en hospitality the north-east should not be excluded, thus dividing the country in randstad vs the provices would be more accurate in this case. In 'the provices' it's really common when you (unexpectedly) visit during diner time, you do get invited to join (and not receive a tikkie afterwards). An other example is the closing of the cookiejar. In the randstad you'll get offered one cookie during a coffeevisit, while here in the south the jar stays open and you could eat as many as there are available. There is more sense of community. The backdoor is always open for friends and family.
Amsterdam is very different from the rest of the Netherlands, in Brabant we joke we'd like to dig a trench and shove em towards England. Outside of the 'Randstad' people are much nicer and more open and generous.
The wedding story is fucked up. U invited people to your wedding but not feeding them . Jezz even cheap people in my country don't go that low.
That is not at all how it is in the Netherlands. You do get food/dinner at weddings. The story they told is not typical dutch
I dont like cheap people
Fun video, thanks for that! So to your question, we dont go ‘dutch’ in Turkey but rather ‘german’ as we call it ‘alman hesabi’.
Moreoever regarding the dating habits while it has thankfully become a normality to split the bill many women still appreciate it if the men pay the bill at the first date. Then as the relationship progresses many couples do it interchangeably.
Sometimes the woman pays sometimes the man.
I personally like offering the coffee or bringing like a very small gift to the first dates but I am also fine if the guy wants to offer (especially if i figure i would like to see him again in order not to owe anything)
We always split the bill in SPAIN... We use Bizum (like Tikkie or Venmo) to pay each other (or we just pay the waiter separately). You see everyone bring out the calculators of their phones and count how much its theirs. When it comes to dates, I would say that most of us want a 50/50 situation, sharing it´s just fair. And for dinners at each other houses, YES, you would most likely pay your part (I have always done it). Btw, we don´t call this "going... anything".
Same in Portugal 🇵🇹
In my own experience, as a Filipina we always say it before hand if someone is going to pay for me or me for them, or also pay for our own bills, to remove expectations.
Most dutch people will say this on the date itself or afterwards, I have had many occurences where someone would say “ I’m gonna pay” and a few hours or days, they will send you a tikkie… and people here love discounts! My gash they go crazy for it… not a bad thing at all but it can get annoying cause they can get persuasive if they don’t see that discount on the screen when sometimes the sales is already done.
As a Dutch student: I get a Tikkie if I'm in a group of people, and 1 of us buys beer/Mc Donald's/etc. However, there is an exception. In some cases you know you'll switch turns in paying. Fe, in my student's alliance, we pay for each other's beer. Everyone does this, so it's no issue to do it for anyone else. This same concept applies when going out with a friend group or going on dates with someone you like.
If you eat at someone else's place (for dinner or a small party) and you don't pay for dinner, this should imply that they'll be welcome to you someday in the same manner. Since visiting peers for dinner doesn't happen that regularly, you may still never end up equalizing it, so therefore it would be best to bring something like dessert or whine with you to such a thing.
Ig, we definitely hate debt, and to us every time you spend money on something for sb else, this counts as debt. Usually, this system works very well. However, there are some difficult situations. Fe, you may go out with friends, expecting everyone to pay for everyone's drinks. However, afterwards it becomes clear to sb that they've paid for many more drinks than the others. In that case, they may still end up splitting the bill/sending a payment request, while this wasn't expected. This same thing may happen if one expects the date to go well, but in the end it becomes clear there won't be any next date to compensate. In another scenario, you might find that 1 person spends more money on dinners/parties/etc. when hosting than the other. Fe, I used to live with my landlord, who insisted on sharing meals weekly. She'd make meals I couldn't afford as a student, while I'd make cheap meals that didn't meet her desires. Now, she insisted on splitting the bill, while to me it would have been fair not to split. (I left that situation quite soon, though. I definitely don't recommend any housing situation that involves shared space with your landlord, unless the alternative is either homelessness or living with your parents.)
It also depends from one person/community to the other, though. My landlord was quite old and had money, but she'd always find ways to first offer me something (cleaning supplies, washing machine use, a week earlier access to the room, etc), and then end up requesting money for it afterwards. On the other hand, it might be easier to see this as a stereotype for cheap landlords than for Dutch people, ig. I don't think my parents ever really ask any money back from anyone: they just don't spend it extravagantly, and they have money, so ig they never really have to. My grandparents even pay for the big restaurant dinner with the entire family, but that's just because they're rich, and they're also the parents. I personally prefer feeling like I spend more on others than feeling like I owe people, but I also know students who seem to do everything in their power to get every free beer or good deal out of others, even if those others are poorer students in debt.
Hey Marina 🙂 , I recently discovered your channel , have been binge watching since then , one thing i wanna know is " If nordic people open up after a drink and get close, then, if teetotallers exists in nordic countries ,then ""how do they interact ??"" 🤔🤔make friends ?, anything more say, dating ? ,🤔🤔 , Please make a video on this topic Marina ,
I have a video on the ultimate guide to dating in Sweden coming up soon
6:31 when talking about first dates, you clearly forgot about the Dutch Oven 😀
I am not living in the Netherlands for over 14 years, back then there was no Tikkie. I am shocked that people send a Tickie after having diner together. I would not do that unless you agree on that at forehand. But that would be more at the end of the month :D
😂hahah this is hilarious! Well, in Turkey , where I am originally from, we don’t often split the bill like people from. The Netherlands, Germany,etc do. But when this happens so , we say “Alman hesabı” or Alman usülü which means Splitting the bill like Germans. This is the first time I’ve heard of this term. Personally it makes sense to me that the first time the man pays but the other times the woman shares the pay or pays the whole price. I wouldn’t mind.
Bravo to the men that say they pay for the first date. That is what gentleman do.
an outdated term from the past that does not belong in the future. the world changes, learn to do the same.
@tikket10 so you're saying men shouldn't be a gentleman? The world does change and we should improve not move backwards. Why would women want feminine men that can't even afford dinner. I'm meeting you to be your woman not your mom little boy.
I would split on first dates but not with friends is the correct answer here
The Dutch really have it right. This makes so much sense. Dutch culture is very equal between men and women.
😀 Super leuk dit... 😂 Als Nederlander, erg herkenbaar...🌷
Among students its common in the nerherlands to share the expenses of a shared meal or drinks bought during a party. But thats because its a massive bill for a student to pay for what is typically 12 people or more during a home party. I've never heard about anyone continuing to charge for their guests after that point. When you have a stable income and you hold your first housewarming party, then you pay for it. Although guests usually bring gifts and that may include money as a small compensation. And btw, when students organize a house party its known upfront that they will share the bill.
When I was in Netherlands I was quite lucky, nobody made any mention about money. Jeez, funny video. No I dont know what to think about it, wether I like it more in Netherlands or not.
I think in our generation, mostly amongst friends splitting the bill is common, but even more common is paying for both the one time and the other paying next. Here, in Greece we also have the "the older" aka the one with a paying job pays. Now about gender roles, since I only have dated one lady, being a lady myself, and she was from Mexico, I kinda had the role that payed the first date, but she would pay for our food in the next time we went out, and then again me. It was more equal this way.
Here we don't have the "tikkie" thing, but once long ago, a classmate from university called me to eat to her house and she made me pay 0,50 euros for the bottle of water she offered me to drink. (And she was filthy rich in comparison to me)
Greek women must be the most entitled women in Europe and I don't get why, they are mid in appearance and I'm being kind.
I think pooling your resources with friends for parties and events is totally fine. Of course this should be known before people attend the said party, so it doesn't come as a surprise. It's fine if you don't like it, but it seems like in these cases, same as with people who come from more outgoing cultures, they tend to move to places where things are different and assume their way of doing things is the right way. As an immigrant myself in another country, I can practice my culture and habits tied to it in my home as long as I don't disturb my neighbors, but I'd be an ass if I assumed the country of my residence should adopt my ways. Same thing I feel about my home country, if you move there you should try and play by the local rules and at least respect the way things are done there.
I've personally lived in Germany while in exchange and I can't say I'd ever go back. On the other hand I spent a lot of time in Netherlands and people were always generous and willing to help out. I really enjoyed my time there and I've always considered the country as one on my short list of places where I'd be happy to live in for long term.
Personally i go Dutch first date to filter out all those girls who are looking for a free meal/drink or are in search for a 'sponsor' in general. If there is a second date i do pay for it because it means that the girl genuinely likes me and she is not there for a free ride. This is not recommended though if u just want a hook up.
You're right. There are stories about girls who have "first dates" for every evening, so they don't have to buy their own food for dinner. Splitting the bill or more likely everybody pays their own is a good tactic to avoid those kind of girls.
In the northern part of europe food is super expensive. A hotdog can easily cost 5 euro. 7-8 euro if you want a drink with it. A first date out at a normal restaurant can easily cost 100 euro +
in Italy we say "to pay at the Roman way" (italiano: "Pagare alla romana") to say to split the bill in equal parts into the 2 people or everyone of the group, no matter what everyone ordered.
We don't know the exact origin of this expression but the majority of Italians use this habit. I must say it's also common the use, in a couple, of 1 person paying for both and the other one paying for both the following time.
As someone who's lived in Netherlands for a few months ... Yes this is true 😅
The going Dutch thing in the Netherlands also depends a lot on economic factors. When I was a student and didnt have a lot of money to spend, it was very normal to split bills for everything with friends. Even small amounts. For 1 or 2 euro we wouldnt bother but if someone paid a bill for 10 euro you would have to pay them back.
Now that I have a nice career, if I go out with friends, or with my girlfriend, and the bill is 60 euro, I can just pay it and actually my friends are usually eager to offer to pay before I can get my card out of my wallet.
But for a student, 60 euro is a lot of money, its about a budget for a week for beer and cigarettes and snacks, if you are living with your parents and dont have to cook your own food or pay rent.
if they are so cheap it means that probably in the history of their country there will have been a historical event, usually people are stingy in places where there have been famines but it could also be a legacy transmitted by religion
They once ate their primary minister 😬
Yeah in sweden we also *swish (our counterpart) for very low amounts. We also use swish to pay at normal stores.
Whats swish?
As a Dutchie, I would not send a tikkie below 1 euro unless being asked for it specifically. If the other party really wants to pay a certain 3 cents, ok sure, I'll send one for shits & giggles and another true story to tell.
Interesting videos
that the tikkie thing is wow😲, I never imagined there would be anything like this anywhere, In Egypt and the Arab countries, we are fighting over who will pay the bill for everyone
Yeah as an Arab Im proud of the generousity we learn, mostly its really nice, but also some people take a little too far imo. Like I've know people who would treat me something (like ice cream or something) and then when I MYSELF try to do the same, they still choose to fight me for the bill at the cashier desk (out of nowhere!). Like nah man I find that embarrassing. Even tho I told them specifically that I don't like that they still do it. That's where I feel it stopped about being generous, and it's about showing off instead.
I have been there twice. I did a 3-week cycling/camping trip there when I was 15 years old with a group of Québécois who were my own age. Our guide recommended we put a Canadian flag on our rucksacks, which the Dutch would like, but the Québecois wanted to put a Quebec flag, which is unknown in most of the world.
I am Canadian. My father was from Northern Germany and my mother was a Québécoise from the "Great Darkness" period.
One of the guys in our group was allergic to peanuts. We learned this because there is peanut sauce available everywhere in cafés and restaurants. This custom comes from of course from Indonesia.
I had a good time there.
Overall I found the Dutch people to be open-minded but not really friendly.
I don’t the splitting the money or payments symbolizes equality. Equality should happen in the workforce, opportunities, motherhood and careers those are true equality. Paying bills is just an arrangement. You can still think less of your partner even if they cover half the financial responsibility.
So it’s only equality when it benefits you? Gtfo
I sure would think less of a woman that didn't paid for herself as any adult does.
@@Bracarensisand women think less of stingy men.
@PaulaOx Their problem. Some financial education would had been useful. Men aren't your slaves.
a) Having lived in the UK for many years I was familiar with the phrase "going Dutch", but in Greek and that's my background there is NO such expression. b) I was married to a Dutch awhile back, long before the Tiikies were around... And yes, this pretty much sums up their mentality. c) Northern European countries are more individualistic because they are Protestant. Anglo-Saxon Protestantatism is middle of the road between Catholicism and the more radical Protestantism of the Netherlands and Scandinavia,. Southern Europe is collectivist Catholic or Orthodox d) Historically very little could be grown in Northern European countries, compared to Southern Europe. Until the industrial age famine was more common in the north of Europe rather than in the South. So saving food made sense to Northern Europeans. That's still reflected in the prices of fresh fruits and vegetables: tomatoes, potatoes are cheaper in the South
There is the good ol' "Dutch oven(not the cookware)", I would be interested in seeing the origins of that!
😂😂thats funny but unfortunately it doesn’t have a funny back story to go with it. A Dutch oven is just an enclosed baking dish with a lid.
I relate to the Dutch culture even though I’m Colombian American, at the same time it’s so wildly different from what I’m used to.
I wonder if the examples you give about those cheap tikkie requests are actually true. I grew up here and in all my life I never heard about or experienced anyone asking money or sending out a tikkie for ridiculous stuff like that. I use Tikkie because it's a great app to easily let my colleagues pay back for their lunch that I always go out to buy for everyone each Thursday. In May my friends and me are going to the Belgian Ardennes for a couple of days. One of the blokes paid for the villa that we rented and used Tikkie so we could all easily pay back our own share. I think these kind of things is what Tikkie is generally used for.
I feel like I am living in Lala land now! I have been living in the Netherlands for 2 years and they are the most generous people in comparison with my terrible experience with the French and Germans! I have never paid for the first date with a Dutch guy, and never received a weird tikki from friends 😅 I think I am very lucky now 😂
Same hier .In Europe, I think that the stingiest people are the French. South Americans are also very careful about money
I learned this term "going Dutch" on your channel. Had never heard it before. No, in Latvia, we don't use it. For being cheap or focused on money we would mention Jewish people, but in a different context, though.
In Latvia, the old traditional concept of man paying at the restaurant is still living. Young people, like teenagers, are sometimes going more into the equality direction, but still not to the extent of Scandinavia etc.
I want to move to Netherlands .In what places can i find a girlfriend ? In coffe shop ? Do dutch women aproach guys or like being aproach or how do you met people or start a conversation in generaly with dutch people ?
Don't move out there for girls😅
@@jobeam01 i dont move for girls .But if i am gonna live there i dont wanna remain single
You can go to bars, clubs and talk to girls. If you look good, know how to behave, are nice, have a sense of humor, you might be lucky.
I'm chinese. we are known to be cheap butttt... i think for me small things is a whatever, because we also have the culture of basically trying to pay for the bill and fighting over it. i think for us it's different situations for different levels of 'pay'
Yes, we hace another way to say "go dutch " in latinamerica, it's called TACAÑO
Basically it's called being cheap? 😅
Wow. I am enlightened. Yeah, in the USA the fear is not having enough food and people going hungry. Also in Mexico, we don't want our guests to go hungry and we will not charge them for a party or hosted dinner. We make sure there is tons of food for our guests.
I have lived in both countries. I can speak for both lol.
One girl in Amsterdam told me ,that if a date goes wrong the Dutch usually " go Dutch" .
I am Dutch and grew up in a very low income household but we never grew up being stingy, my mum till this day will share her last euro, we never used tikkies. In my opinion it’s actually the students and middle income class that have very much the attitude of individuality. I remember growing up and everyone was always welcome and we would share the food no problem. About loving sales, it’s more forced upon us actually, normal prices in the shop are ridiculously high in comparison to other neighbouring countries when on sale you actually pay the normal price so we tend to look out for them.
very interesting, I've never heard this term. But here in Germany a very lot of the people are "going Dutch" as well, it's very common to do that. And the Germans are very direct as well as the Dutch are. Other people think or feel about that this is rude or not polite, but it often make things easier and clear situations.
I'm half Dutch and lived in Netherlands for several years and never once heard of a tikkie. Seems like a student culture thing. Maybe practical when paying with a large group, but it also sounds like a way for people to be petty and rude to each other.
Here in my country Malaysia, we called it "American Style".. don't really know how the words came up though..
I've actually been invited to a dinner party with my girlfriend, and brought a wine as well, and still ended up getting a 30 euro tikkie without having been informed about this beforehand. Sad part is it was a buffet dinner party, and out of mannerism and respect, we didn't even eat much or drink anything and still ended up hungry. That was organized by a Dutch Chinese student and probably my worst experience ever. Another one was someone bringing beer to a party and then taking it back since no one drank it. There goes one friendship.
I mean, I get the idea that things are neat, organized and fair, and there is no expectation/disappointment system, but many times these attitudes result in greater losses. I noticed some Dutch students don't like the idea of going out to dinners with large groups, because the bill would be split evenly, which would mean that they would be paying for the ones consuming more.
By far the biggest loss in my opinion is the quality in the food industry. Sadly I feel like the Dutch culture focuses way too much on prices and cutting costs, and less on quality when it comes to food, which leads to them selling cheaper less tasty variants of produce, just for the sake of sustainability/price. Holland strawberries used to taste much better for example, and now they are genetically mutated to look big, crown shaped, grown on fake soil, and are harvested earlier, so they taste bitter, just so they have a longer shelf life. Appreciating the small things, being okay with less quality is one thing, but lowering the quality of things just to shave off a few cents is just unappreciative of life.
If I'm inviting someone to my home or out for dinner, I'm paying the bill and will never ask them to pay me. When I'm asked out on a date or in a relationship, I'm not paying for any dates.
A lot of proverbs from settling days in America, surrounding Dutch do indeed actually refer to the word Deutsch. Still a lot of people don't know the difference so it became a Dutch thing.
And hey, Idon't mind paying my own bill...and it helps when certain people think they gain certain rights when they pay on a date.
The Tikkie is indeed a thing especially between kids an teens and...is being used when you don't like a person or date. I've never done so, but I know of a guy that got into a fight with a friend and send him a tikkie afterwards
Another fun fact, did you know that in Europe we find the concept of bringing your own food and drinks to a party, a cheap way of hosting a party and call it an American party. We use it a lot when we're young and broke.
To cook out it's more common, but jot to parties
What I allways think is that foreigeners always intervieuw people from Amsterdam and Utrecht. Even if they dont originate from here. If you think that all people are from Amsterdam or Utrecht I can tell you that you missed 95% of our country!
Going Dutch ultimately means that you are taxed equally in purchasing power and ultimately that you bear the burden together, a couple or group with unequal incomes have equal expenses.
It is of course a beautiful video. But.... only in Amsterdam. This is not the Netherlands. These are Calvinist Dutch. For real hospitality and "gezelligheid", go to...yes the rest of the Netherlands.
Yes. Also many seem to have a critical, sour disposition. Which isn’t that dissimilar from other Northern European people.
thats not true .Dutch people are very generous and friendly when you get the know them .But we are also brutally honest ,direct and efficient ,so we hate beating around the bush and will tell you so . which seems rude to people from other countries .
red shirt and sunglasses lady is like a model right?
should've asked the mature couple if both are proper dutch or maybe they're a mix, because they do have that Mediterranean vibe going.
Title typo
In south korea, we say ‘dutch pay’
Lots of small money = lots of money. Me smart, me tikkie.
I'm a guy.... I would feel funny "going dutch"My Dad would feel like he failed if he heard me doing this.
I just realized that I've collected so many Dutch stereotypes throughout my life not even visiting or living there. To be honest, my opinion got better about its people because it's so close to me 👍
I am Dutch / Italian I do it Double Dutch!
Well, about the dates. It usual for the guy to pay the first time at max at a normal-level restaurant. After that is wildly differs from taking turns paying, sharing or just one always pays. It's because the women don't want to be "enslaved" or in debt to a men.
The the "Tikkie". This is very, very often used for Going Dutch. (see what I did) For example, when at work someone could go out for fastfood and asks around if anyone wants any. If so, the payment is through that app for easy transfer. Nobody owes anybody. BTW, lunches are often brought from home. Out for lunch are rare occasions, once per week or more often even less. Mostly depending on where you work.
I've never heard of someone asking for payment after an invite. Never, ever. But maybe that's a big city thing?
If anything, it is (almost) ALWAYS discussed beforehand. Like going to the movies, bar or whatever. Noone sends a tikkie for a glass of wine at their home. Well, unless they are drunk haha.
The Dutch áre stingy with amounts of food, but not thát stingy. The smallest I've ever seen is like 3 (small to Americans) soft rolls or sandwitches with a piece of cheese or ham in between and normal Dutch people are really full after that anyway. Most of the time there is a little bit more as a side dish. I now do wonder, are we stingy or just full faster...?
If on a first date a woman will not let me pay but wants to split the bill I know she does not want to see me again ;)
BTW: we too have an interesting expression: american party. A party where you have to bring your own food ..
statiegeld = deposit 8:00 mark atfirst i thought you said starfield and i was like oh yeah totally get that one, your short 15 cents for a steam video game and don't get paid until the after the steam game goes off sale price or you can't wait to play with your friends as a group until the end of the week or two weeks, what ever. this is so common when you are a teenager or in your early 20's when you move away from home to be out on your own that i don't really laugh any more despite it being so damn funny. usd to euro conversion is like 1.25% to 1.33% so two dimes or less than a quarter....some one is on a very tight budget or really doesn't like you.
I once went to dinner with someone: he asked how much i would normally spend at a supermarket for dinner at home. Then he payed the difference. To compensate that i went to have dinner with him.
.... these things can only happen in one country.
But we have a different wat with money. We never tip. Because that is degradant to wholever you tip. I used to work as a waitress for a little while and i was very uncomfertable acceptng tips ( from tourist ).
Of sonething costs 9,95 at a market you wait for them to bring you the 5 cent if you pay with a 10 eurobill.
because if you say "keep the change" it might be an insult like: wij you give me 5 cents ? that is weird. Of is not about cheapskating. I just wave bye and quickly walk away but i dont say "keep the change" . that would not be good.
Americans sometimes confuse dutch and deutsch (german). So I could also be that this saying means "going deutsch" and this custom comes from Germany.
Never heard that expression in Portugal. Common expressions related to being cheap are more associated with Jews or, even more so, people from Porto, Portugal.
Uma vez ouvi dizer que alguém disse ao Pinto da Costa que ele tinha dado um pum.
Ao que ele respondeu: "Eu não dou nada a ninguém, só se me escapou"
the equivalent of 'dropping a deuce' so normal of a thing, nobody knows that phrase.
in italy we say :" go roman"