The Kremlin Presents: The Little Warship (Under the Sea)
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- Опубліковано 19 вер 2024
- This is the dumbest thing I have ever made.
...but check out how you can support the Ukrainian defenders:
u24.gov.ua/
savelife.in.ua...
🇺🇦 subtitles by @RuthenianModernism
Footnotes, in _my_ shitpost? It’s more likely than you think:
[0:26] On 14 Apr 2022, the _Moskva_ sank. The full details are unknown; Russian authorities claim that it was a combination of bad weather and an ammunition explosion, while Ukrainian authorities claim they hit the Moskva with anti-ship missiles. The two versions are not (strictly speaking) mutually exclusive, so I referenced both of them in my lyrics.
[0:50] A “saltire” is a flag design consisting of a diagonal cross. The ensign of the Russian Navy is, in fact, a saltire: a blue cross on a white field.
[0:50] A ship is said to “strike its colors” when it lowers its ensign from its mast. This is internationally recognized as a sign of surrender.
[1:08] The _Kursk_ submarine disaster took place on 12 Aug 2000, during a naval exercise where it was supposed to fire two dummy torpedoes. One of those torpedoes exploded in the launch tube, sinking the submarine and trapping the crew inside. After a series of staggeringly incompetent rescue attempts by the Russian Navy, they finally appealed for international help. The help came too late, and all 118 crew members died in the incident.
[1:44] The Russo-Japanese war of 1904-1905 was especially unkind to the Russian Navy, with the Pacific Fleet taking heavy losses and the Baltic Fleet suffering various setbacks on its months-long voyage to reach the Sea of Japan (then they reached their destination, and it got worse).
[1:54] The _Forel_ was a small submarine used for training. On 17 May 1910, it suffered an accident and sank. The crew survived. There’s not a lot of info on this one, but the name fits nicely into the rhyming scheme and that was good enough for me.
[1:55] The _Oryol_ was a battleship that suffered heavy damage during the 1905 Battle of Tsushima and surrendered to the Japanese. It was repaired, renamed to _Iwami,_ and joined the Japanese Navy in 1907.
[1:57] There have been several warships named _Rurik;_ here I am referring to the one built in 1892. It was sunk at the 1904 Battle of Ulsan, during which the _Rurik’s_ steering compartment was damaged and her crew gradually lost control of the ship.
[1:58] “Yaw, pitch and roll” is a system for describing a vehicle’s orientation. Of course, “pitch” can also refer to the tone of a musical note. Sorry, I just can’t resist a good pun.
[1:59] There have been several vessels named _Komsomolets;_ here I am referring to the _K-278_ submarine. It sank on 7 Apr 1989, after a fire broke out in its engine compartment and quickly spread to other systems. Of the 69 crewmen, 27 survived the incident and 42 died. Since then, the submarine has been sitting at the bottom of the Barents Sea and is slowly leaking plutonium into the surrounding waters. Norway’s Marine Environmental Agency is not amused.
[2:02] The _K-150 Tomsk_ submarine is not sunk (yet), but on 16 Sep 2013 it was severely damaged when a fire broke out in its Vladivostok shipyard.
[2:04] The _K-152 Nerpa_ submarine is not sunk (yet), but on 8 Nov 2008 its fire extinguishing system was accidentally activated and several compartments were flooded with refrigerant gas. Of 208 people on board, at least 20 died from asphyxiation. Russian authorities blamed the accident on a crewman, who was accused of absently playing with the fire suppressor’s control unit (his crewmates have contested this story). The _Nerpa_ was leased to the Indian Navy in 2012, where it was renamed _Chakra_ and became known as a high-maintenance accident-prone headache before being returned in 2021 (10 months ahead of schedule; the Indians couldn’t wait to get rid of her).
[2:05] The _AS-28_ is a Priz-class rescue vehicle that, ironically enough, needed to be rescued from a training accident on 5 Aug 2005. The submarine got entangled in an array of underwater microphones and sank to the sea floor. All crew members survived, thanks to the Russian Navy’s quick -intervention- request for assistance: the Royal Navy, Japan’s Maritime Self-Defense Force and the U.S. Navy all answered the call. They coordinated a response and a British ROV ultimately succeeded in cutting the submarine free.
[2:06] The _Admiral Kuznetsov_ is the flagship of the Russian Navy, its only aircraft carrier, and is not sunk (yet). It’s in pretty bad shape, though. In 2018 a crane collapsed on top of it, damaging not only the ship but also the floating drydock _PD-50_ that is essential to the _Kuznetsov’s_ maintenance; as of 2022, the ship is still awaiting repairs. Even before the accident, the _Kuznetsov_ suffered frequent engine failures and was escorted by a tugboat wherever it went.
[2:11] The Whiskey-on-the-Rocks incident took place on 27 Oct 1981, when the Soviet submarine _S-363_ ran aground near the Swedish naval base Karlskrona. (In NATO’s reporting system, that sub was designated as a _Whiskey-class_ vehicle.) As per tradition, the Soviet Navy pleaded “not guilty, just incompetent” and claimed that the crew had gotten lost, somehow navigating through a series of narrow straits that juuust happened to lead them into a restricted military zone. After a tense 10-day standoff, Swedish tugboats finally hauled the submarine off the rocks and escorted it to international waters.
[2:28] In case it’s not clear, here Moskva is hearing about Ukraine’s attacks against the Russian Black Sea Fleet headquartered in Sevastopol, which took place on 29 Oct 2022.
[2:47] “Master strategist” is a shout-out to twitter.com/darthputinkgb - give him a follow, while Twitter is still up!
Peak shitpost
@@_EllieLOL_ With *FOOTNOTES*!!!!!
I can see why this came out so long after April; those lyric re-writes were perfection!
-Hahah, not in April! I made the first version just ~1 month ago. I decided to make it an unlisted video (since this new one is obv so much better) but if you want to compare it- --> ua-cam.com/video/bzv6uE7ng8c/v-deo.html
Edit: D'oh, I think I misunderstood your comment. No, I haven't been been working on it since the Moskva sank in April! TBH I had kind of forgotten about it until Perun's video (23 Oct) covering the naval war. It just sparked my interest again, and hijinks ensued.
"before tractors learn to swim".
Gold star.
Another one! Ceasar Kunikov (Ropucha landing ship) sunk by drones on anniversary of namesake.
Under the Z, Under the Z
Comrade it's better - down where it's wetter
Send VDV
That was fucking glorious! "Gunboat Diplomacy with tin cans' is a fantastic line. Too many good ones to list here. So funny. Well done!
And with headquarters blown the fuck up and two vessels shat on while still in drydock, it looks like it really *is* better under the sea.
This video actually inspired me to make my own Moskva parody, based on Jonny Horton’s Sink the Bismarck. It got much less attention on Noncredibledefense than you did, but I thought you might enjoy it.
In April of 2022, the war had just begun.
The Russians had the biggest ship, with rapid-fire guns.
The Moskva was the deadliest ship that ever sailed that sea;
On her decks were CIWS as big as steers and SAMs as big as trees.
Out of the cold and foggy night came a Bayraktar drone.
The operators watched the readouts, all their senses honed.
They had to find the Moskva, the terror of the seas;
Stop those CIWS as big as steers and those SAMs as big as trees.
We’ll find that Russian missile ship that’s making such a fuss!
We have to sink the Moskva because Ukraine depends on us!
So move into position, boys, and get your missiles off the ground;
Because when we find the Moskva, we gotta cut her down!
The drone found the Moskva, and on that fatal day;
The Moskva started firing, ev - ry which way.
“That little pest is surely doomed!” shouted the Russian crew;
But when the smoke had cleared away, the Bayraktar still flew.
For several long and weary hours, they tracked her every move.
Zelensky told the people, “I want that thing removed!”
“Out there on those waters, we all but have her caged!”
“We have to sink the Moskva, before she’s out of range!”
We’ll find that Russian missile ship that’s making such a fuss!
We have to sink the Moskva because Ukraine depends on us!
So move into position, boys, and get your missiles off the ground!
Because when we find the Moskva, we gotta cut her down!
The Neptunes came online and the crews saw the evening sun.
Ten hours away from homeland, the Moskva made her run.
The commander of the launchers said, “Get those missiles off the rails!”
“We have a lock on the Moskva, and we can’t afford to fail!”
The Ukrainians had the range and Neptunes were coming fast.
The first one struck the Moskva, they knew she couldn’t last.
That mighty Russian missile ship is just a memory.
“Sink the Moskva” was the battle cry that shook that cold Black Sea.
We found that Russian missile ship that was making such a fuss!
We had to sink the Moskva because Ukraine depends on us!
So we moved into position, and got our missiles off the ground!
Yea, we found the mighty Moskva, and then we cut her down!
We found that Russian missile ship that was making such a fuss!
We had to sink the Moskva because Ukraine depends on us!
So we moved into position, and got our missiles off the ground!
We found the mighty Moskva, and then we cut her down!
Catchy! Encores would be welcome.
Слава Україні! Glory to Ukraine! 💛💙
Потопити Росію! Sink Russia!
So underappreciated! Awesome!
I don’t understand how this doesn’t have a million+ views by now. Literal perfection.
Under the sea…
Every fucking line of this had me rolling. Absolutely genius mate
"Oh Kursk"
Brilliant
This is great!
This is based
The vocalist is indeed a base. Or were you trying to dis him by calling this work "biased"?
@@JilynnFurlet by " based " i mean " good and relatable " ( the opposite of " cringe")
Better then the upcoming remake.
That’s a low bar to clear. 😬
Clearly the best thing you have ever made :)
instant added to playlist
We should make all A-10s into a reef
It's fuckin legendary tier content.
I think it's pretty low-tier. Below sea level, in fact. 👀
@@rhubarbjin You mean under-the-sea level, right?)
What a brilliant piece of Art. I love everything about it
vark vark
This is the best thing I've seen this whole week :)
This is so good that I kinda want a little mermaid movie set somewhere in the black sea on the year of 2022.
LoL ❤
lmao, even!
I think you misspelled brilliant!
This is amazing lmaooo
o7
Vark
VARK
V A R K
Vark
are you singing this or is it all with AIs?
I did all the singing myself! I only used a synthesizer for -Ariel's- Moskva's voice at the beginning.
Slava Ukraini