Sometimes moving on is the best thing to do. Be indifference and work on yourself to be the best version of yourself and attract people that actually want to be with you and won’t play these games.
Happened to me . He said we will never ever be together. But he is insisting to keep the connection and he is terrifying that I might change my number . I told him that I don’t want him 🙄 and he stopped texting me he was angry but I know he will come back again. I feel happy I’m free now after the heeling process. took long time more than 2 years in pain& tears to heal but I’m proud of myself 👏🏽
It's really true what they say that as time goes you'll eventually get your power back and not care.it's been two months since he broke up with me.we are on long distance. I was miserable and pathetic throughout the first week. He said he would still be there for me.even if he is he's not giving the same supportive self he was before. I may have some part to play in the breakup because I didn't fight for him,didn't introduce him to my family, we had our old issues and arguments on top of the fact he said he needs time to figure himself out and have self love. Despite all of these we loved each other and distance was not even an issue for us.I made this accountability message early on so that I could show him I recognized my mistakes,apologized and took accountability for it and since we are using only one app and his mind is unpredictable I grabbed the chance to do it.I'm still a work of progress. since I'm implementing an indefinite radio silence I'm still trying to heal and focus on more important things like the health issues I'm having right now. He said he doesn't want to be with me but the last call we had he was starting to be his sweet self and talked about the future but I could feel he was still holding back.the day before he called I was feeling a bit bad cuz he didn't reach out but when he did the next day I was not feeling his sweet talks but I kept my cool.now I think he's just reaching out when it's convenient for him.so indefinite radio silence has helped me cope.
My ex keeps coming and pulling back. Last attempt was New Years Eve. It was his turn with our girls. He sent me an email inviting me to spend New Year’s Eve with him & our girls at Disneyland. He bought us top of the line passes. My daughters called me and told me they wanted me to go, they’re 10 & 5. I went. It was very emotional. He told me loved me and that he wanted us to start seeing someone to help us. I never in a million years thought he would suggest the specific therapist that he did. We spent the next 3 days together with our girls. That’s how long the excitement lasted. On the 3rd day he basically told me that I am the love of his life but he doesn’t want to let me down and that he couldn’t make any promises. That he wanted to see the therapist to “see what happens.” I told him that wasn’t good enough for me because he’s done this to me too many times and I need to get on with my life, with or without him. So now we’re back at square one and we’ve resumed our divorce proceedings. I’ve decided that I can’t speak to him, text and email is all I can do for my mental well being right now.
My ex finally told me he left because he got scared. After we broke up I went no contact. I dont think he expected that. Then he tried to find someone else but quickly found grass isn't always greener on the other side. He texted me one day. Became emotional and went silent for 2 weeks. Then again emotion and went silent for 5 days. I never once reached out to him. He tried to play life and work were great. But the truth came out. He told me he missed my company and a lot about me. I. however, was not as nice. He hasn't changed. I dont want to be there for convenience or lonely etc. He wants to be friends..mend things. Cant do that when its breadcrumbs. He had the true test last week. I was rushed to the hospital. My friend let him know. He texted me asking me if I was ok. I told him what happened. He came to the hospital. He wanted to be there with me. But he had to wait in the waiting room. When he saw me he gave me the biggest hug..didnt seem like he wanted to let go. He took me to get food and my meds. He said when my friend sent him that message there was no question..he was going to the hospital..even though he knew I really didnt want him to. I'm still hurt he could throw me away so fast. But listening to him..he regrets it. He remembered little things from 2 yrs ago I did for him. He remembers the positives things. I am still keeping my distance. We do text. He checked on me all weekend. But for now he has to continue to realize what he lost. And maybe someday learn people are not here forever and you have to value them while they are here. Because it's not easy as you think to find a true connection with someone.
It's nice he remembers the small details. I'm going through this with my ex girl she just disappeared after a year of dating bliss. But I'm disturbed because, I remember every detail about our adventures together, but she appears like she doesn't have any such memories. It disgusts me because I busted my ass to make those fantastic memories she has seemingly forgotten. Maybe her head was run-over by a bus since I was with her? Assigned her to the irrelevant bucket. Idiot.
It has been almost 3 months since my ex broke up with me after 13 years. She is 70 I am 64 - see folks older people suffer the same things. It is obviously Christmas time, and I have been picking up mail from the front porch, where this time she left me a present and some cookies. I am now a recovering alcoholic. She could no longer put up with my drinking. I absolutely get her reasoning for "not wanting you in my life" statements. But present and cookies? Other than picking up mail, I have been steadfast in my no contact. The fact is, I needed her and took her for granted while drinking. I am sober (yet again) and am finding my own way and strength now - and don't need her, but do want her back. Cookies? Why did it have to be cookies?
Patrick dear. Your in recovery I feel a relationship caused your trigger. Please find a sponsor I have 23 yrs. Relationships are funky for some of us. We still need that 4th step. Call a member if u go to AA. SHE CAN LEAVE COOKIES. OKAY FINE. DONT READ ANYTHING INTO IT. We gave to be careful of codependency. U know this. And toxic behavior. As time grew I learned more about healthy relationships. So will you. We have a tendency as recovering people to handle relationships the old ways. Like our past ones . Unhealthy as hell.lol your powerless I had to read my big book . All over again. But I have made some strides dealing with relationships. U can also. One day at a time.
My ex calls on me when others he chases are not around for him. That is when he is sweet to me. When others come calling for him he treats me as if I never was there for him. He becomes indifferent.
Hello! My ex broke up with me early September and I went into no contact. Since then I have gotten a job I've been working towards, and traveled to Japan. When I got the job, I posted about it on social media, and my ex texted me congratulating me. We texted back and forth a bit, nothing serious but I kept things lighthearted and let the conversation die. When I went to japan, my ex texted me wishing me a safe trip, again I kept things lighthearted, thanked her and let the conversation die. When I returned to the states, 3 days later she texted me asking how I was adjusting to being back, again, we texted back and forth a bit, but this time I asked her if she wanted to catch up over coffee and I'd tell her about my trip. She agreed. I picked her up and we had coffee and talked like we normally would. It wasn't awkward at all, and after that she wanted to show me her new house she just moved into. We talked for about another hour and when I told her I had to go, she gave me this half-assed one arm "friend hug". So I took that as a sign of not wanting to get back together, and went back into no contact. Then on thanksgiving she texts me wishing me a happy thanksgiving, I returned the gesture and wished her one as well, we talked for a bit and then I let the conversation die. 2 weeks later, she texts me about one of her classmates getting kicked from the nursing program, random, but I replied, kept the conversation lighthearted and then let the conversation die. And now 2 weeks ago, she's been liking my tweets, likes all of posts on instagram, and texted me about one of my tweets about baby yoda.. random, and again I let the conversation die. I'm not exactly sure what to do at this point. I feel like it's a good sign that she keeps reaching out, but I also don't want to keep up with meaningless conversations. I was thinking of either letting her try to set up a meet up, trying once more to see her in person (and if I get the one arm friend hug again just letting things die out), or just flat out letting things die out. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
the truth is my "ex" was never mine, so I can't hope to get back what was not there anyway... having someone on facebook list is not enough to consider it a connection, when in real life people avoid getting personal... the truth is we live by dreams and imagination while social reality / circumstance is far more limited than the mind or heart wishes it to be, so it remains just a beautiful dream of what if
Coach Adrian: you are genuine, knowledgeable and oh, so wonderful! Completely heartbroken, but feeling as I made some progress. He suddenly ended it, and there I was, left picking up the pieces of my heart. Following your advice, I left him entirely alone. No texts, no calls, none of that. Last week he texted, wanting to meet and have coffe. Now... Coach Natalie, on one occasion said that it's ok to ignore his first message. Se said that if they reached out once, they will reach out again. I didn't pick up his thread because I felt that I was the one who kept our relationship going.... new, I am just so curious about the future 🙄
He sent me a message (we’ve been broke up for 3 months) that said “Damn it Amanda!! You had to let me be myself with you and we lost the best thing that could have been. I’m not blaming you only. Ignorance being one, stubbornness two and guilt being three, sooo much!!! It has broken me but I still miss all of the good. I don’t know why I’m doing this. It drives me crazy and at the same time makes me want to stay in my bubble” He sent me that two nights ago. I responded the morning after he sent it and owned up to my mistakes and how scared I was of losing him because something as good as what we had couldn’t happen to me, I operated out of fear and that was on me, not him. I told him I miss him being around but also understand why he wants to stay closed off too because I should have changed these things already and it took all of this for me to really get it. He helped me to see myself and I regret more than anything in my whole life that I didn’t fix it sooner. He hasn’t responded to my last message. I’m not sure what will happen. These videos are great and such a huge help. I can tell you and your team really CARE about others and truly want to help. Thank you for all you do.
My ex pulled away from me almost 2 months ago, which felt like a surprise...but after no contact and reflection I realize he was stressed at withdrawing which was triggering insecurity and I was being more needy. We didn't officially break up, but he distanced himself for 3 weeks, and during that time I took space and did not reach out when he was unresponsive to my initial attempt to fix things. He showed up and asked me to have coffee on the spot and we spent about 1.5 hours together, and it was very apparent his feelings for me were strong. I was poised by also showed i was willing to move towards him and he suggested we spend some time together. He was keen to jump in, serve and impress me, and be close ...he asked for a hug, and I could feel his heart pounding against my chest. I felt like maybe Id been a bit cold so after a few days I reached out and said it was nice to see him and accepted his offer and that it would be nice for us to ski together as he'd suggested. He was he was working those days but suggested another time soon, and that he'd take a look. We had a few of these conversations about us spending time together, also ending in him touching base at a later date, and me left wondering...with him in the power of position. This last time he said lets touch base when he returned from a work project, I left it for him to take initiative. Its now been probably 2 weeks, christmas has come and gone and we've not been intouch. This was an 8 month relationship, that felt like it ended out of no where. I feel confused and not sure if I should make an effort as he has been very responsive and I do know he is somewhat insecure and has a fearful anxious attachment pattern, but it seems if I move towards him he just moves away. I feel like I can't win so Im just doing nothing.
Makes sense. My ex showed back up 4 years after we broke up. First thing she said to me was. I'm in a relationship, it's serious. I didn't let it affect me, after that I made amends with her, she gave me a hug.
Made everything clear one minute were talking the next minute I don’t hear from him I just keep on doing me and being happy, I’m at different place in my life I don’t need him to be happy, Thanks Coach Adrian
Coach Adrian I have applied everything that you and your team have recommended and it took my ex right off her high horse and into my arms. Your techniques are spot on. Thank you!
Thank YOU for your comment and letting us and the Love Advice TV community know of your success! We are so happy for you Paul Williams! Keep us posted on this new chapter of your relationship and reach out to us if you need ANY help at all. We're not only here to help you get your ex back, we want you, most of all, to KEEP HER! - Adrian
Paul william Paul please tell me what did you do? My ex is on a high horse right now and it’s acting shady towards me. How did you flip it. We have a son together I started only texting her asking for my kid once a day after she left me a month ago.
I had a coaching session a few days ago it made me feel strong but I have to say I was already there before we spoke because of these videos they awaken you to what’s really happening and force you to look at yourself and your situation I just needed to hear it one on one thank you you guys are amazing I know now I don’t want my old relationship back if he can’t be new and improved then I will walk away
Thank you to you and your team. Been loving all the videos, man wished I saw y'all before I broke up and been failing my old relationship. Theses videos are helping me grow!
Hello, so straight to the point. My ex says heq still loves me, misses me, and likes that when I tell him he will be mine and all mine. However, out of nowhere, he didn't answer to my last text, and from then on, we didn't talk for a couple of days. Therefore, I did reach out and asked if he was ok and that whenever he is available that he can call me. Once I said that, he said no to me, asking if he is he doing ok. he didn't want to talk about that and then left me hanging and didn't say anything else. I'm confused, but then again, j wish to give him space. What should I do?
Hi Adrian, with the exception of unblocking me on Facebook, my ex hasn’t reached out in almost 6 weeks. I have not made any contact with the exception of emailing him when I passed him coming out of his driveway. I didn’t want him to think that I was passing his house because I was stalking him. I was at a Christmas celebration one block up from where he lives and coming back that way. My email just said “what timing, was up the street at an event and I didn’t want you to think anything other than what it was.” He responded “I didn’t” and that was the last contact which was about a month ago. Despite the pain I have been working on myself a lot! I am interviewing to change my career- my first interview is tomorrow. I am volunteering at the animal shelter near me starting January 5. I joined a gym. I’m socializing with friends as much as possible. And of course I focus a lot on my kids. I took your advice and smile at myself in the mirror every day and use positive affirmations as well as journaling. I feel that I’m closer to being ready to reach out to him through the hand written letter. I am saving up for one on one session with you to go over that letter. I’ve already bought & listen to your audio seminar. There’s so many other aspects of this break up. He did things wrong. I became needy and clingy. I feel almost hopeless and then in another moment I feel that well of course he’ll want to hear for me. I know I should continue working on myself and I absolutely will. What other advice do you have at this point based on this info? Thank you for all you do!
Coach, My ex is reaching out every month and then blocking me from everywhere. She is playing hot and cold and I love her so Much for me it’s difficult to handle these traumas.. What should i do should I ignore her this time or not? Need ur advice.
It was great and useful. Mixed messages made.me very anxious. So i started not to react at them. He keeps on saying good bye and take care sometimes I don't respond these messages, they don't have content. It's difficult o manage this stage. Thank you a.lot.
Hey, just wanted to say I’m a huge fan of your videos. My husband has been acting hot and cold. He told me he wanted a divorce so I graciously accepted his decision at first. After that, I made a mistake and begged for him back, twice. He started acting mean to me which was a side I’d never seen of him. I, then decided to initiate no contact which lasted nine days. He then came by our apartment while I was at work (he is living with friends right now) and saw all of my stuff packed up and panicked. I decided to move back home with my family which is on the other side of the country and cost me a lot of money. Before I left, he helped my sister and I pack my uhaul and told me he missed me and even followed me To the gas station after we said our goodbyes and even said he’d come visit me if it was okay with me and also told me he still loves me. He told my mom the same thing and she said maybe you guys just need a break. I understand he needed space in the marriage and I was becoming too clingy and overbearing but I didn’t want to stay with someone or keep begging so I had to leave and move on with my life. When we said our goodbyes he almost bursted into tears but stopped himself. I’m going on almost two weeks of no contact and haven’t heard anything from him. What should I do?
Amazing video, dear coach. I'm just in that moment as you told me. One week he sent to me a song (shallow, Lady gaga and Bradley Cooper) and next week he dissappeared...last sunday again, he texted me to have a beer with him and we were talking and he proposed to me have a dinner tomorrow night. Now i'm really confident, strong, happy...and he realized that i'm really well without him. For the moment, as you told me, Adrián...i'll do my best at dates and rest of the days i'll continue focus on me without reaching out him. 😘😘 for you and all Love Advice Team 😊
The point that I’m going through this right now really just creeped me out 😂😂. I did the no contact method by watching your videos and 6 months later my ex is back into my life . Next obstacle is figuring out all these mixed signals he’s giving me . He wants to “just be friends” and have sex , however he gets mad and jealous when I talk about other guys and he said he still has feelings for me but he does NOT want a relationship. He also said that he feels like we’d never stop being involved with each other however, he also said in the future if he found someone he’d lose contact with me and hopefully I’d do the same . He’s always kissing me right before we depart each other , but he doesn’t wanna cuddle when we’re together because he feels like it’ll “bring on more feelings between us that he doesn’t want.” I’m confused and I don’t know what to do anymore
Thanks for the videos and advice. I Believe it provides added strength. I'm a March Pisces, Got more Love & Passion inside than I know from what I value Love & Relationships as from what I've been told. I'm pushing 50, I been with my Aries girlfriend 12yrs minus 3 yrs..but still had contact by phone, just lived in different states during the 3 yrs..in which I had to leave becuase I moved into her house for yrs, and became part of her big family. I was cheated on twice by her in the beginning years..but I never once cheated b/c she has been all I ever wanted & wanted True Love for in such a big way. She has been a frequent alcoholic..not everyday, but alot of days thru the wk, she would say hurtful things & get violent confrontational at times, then never remember, when told of these things and the hurt I felt, I came off as complaining. If a man cooks, cleans, works & contributes steadily, has been faithful always, and always makes the moves passionately & affectionately..other than being wrong for "expecting" faithfulness, friendship & Love in return..and other than me somewhat begging & pleading "previously" b4 this 3rd & final breakup..what am I doing wrong? The only thing she said was "I can't love you how u want to be loved..and I irritated her a lot..by being the Pisces I am..things I never saw myself doing. I have quit cigarettes for years, dont do drugs AT ALL, and have gone sober with alcohol..all to change for her & my own health..though she hasn't quit cigs or alcohol..what should or can I do if I want her still? Today we are 2 states away..but she wants to stay distant friends..in time. Please any help is Very Appreciated.
Hi, I love your videos they have helped me so much, my ex of 3 years broke up with me a month ago, and after I desperately tried to get him back (it was embarrassing). Then I found your videos and implanted the no contact rule. He texted me the other day asking if we could get dinner and discuss where we stand, we are meeting in a week for dinner and drinks. What should I expect? Does this means he wants to give our relationship another chance?
My ex and I broke up about a month ago...no contact with him for about 3 wks, he was mean and nasty. Now, for about a week now, he is texting me everyday and ALL day! I’m like wtf? He’s the one that broke it off, he has so many personal problems going on. Wants to stay “friends”, doesn’t want to lose me from his life...um, what friends texts all day every day? I’m getting mixed emotions! I’m highly emotional, and don’t know what to do. I’ve been watching all of your videos, and I just want to say THANK YOU all from the bottom of my heart. It has helped me to see my value in all of this. I still respond, not quickly, I’m very kind and considerate. He’s getting more and more communicative, even wanting to meet for lunch. I just don’t know where it will go.
I absolutely love these videos! I do however have a question on the proper balance when a relationship is in this stage and you live together what do you do when he wants to make sure that you're still there? We've been living together for about 7 months now and we had a pretty good fight about a month ago and have had a really hard time attempting to recover since. I want things to work out with us but I also want to let him know that I'm not just an option that will be here when it's convenient for him, he feels like it, or his friends aren't available?
I don’t know whether my comment will even be read by this point. Me and my ex broke up a month or two from the time I leave this comment, and recently we had a heart to heart conversation about the past. He broke up with me claiming he had lost love for me, to soon return and explain a month into the breakup that it was all due to his depression. The day we had reestablished contact , he had gotten injured during a sports game and I had called to check on him.. then we both mutually spilled our guts about how we felt. Nothing on the lines of “getting back together” but definitely some sort of love and chemistry remaining. Since that day, it has been about two weeks and everyday for those two weeks we have spoken, ran into each other etc. However, I’m not the one who initiates this contact, he is! He goes out of his way to speak to me, call me at times and even speaks to me in person! A few days ago, he had another sports event and I run a food stand for a fundraiser so I attend all his games. He asked me after the game, if I’d like to go out to eat with him, to which I agreed. We were laughing and talking, he even placed kisses on my forehead and held me in ways I would only assume in a romantic sense. He even went as far as to call me “babe” by accident and then kiss me..We haven’t spoke about what conspired between the two of us, me being too afraid to rush this since we JUST returned to communication and him being emotionally unavailable and generally a man who doesn’t speak on his emotions. As of today however , he didn’t message me first at all, to which I’m confused ? How should I take his behavior?
I normally act indifferent and don't let her negativity affect me or give into to her trying to make me feel jealous and keep a positive mindset and attitude, am I going in the right direction, ps keep up the great work❤️😊
This is great! You're doing EXACTLY what you should be doing. You shouldn't let your ex girlfriend knock you off your center and it shows your conviction and strength as a man - Coach Adrian
Love Advice TV thanks so much! You guys are amazing! Been on this journey through many months and have watched your videos constantly and have committed to being better as a man and an individual as a whole to build a long lasting relationship and to better myself in the process for the long run :)
Hey Adrian I’ve been in the hot and cold for a few weeks now. Think I was gaining control of the situation but listened to a buddy instead of my gut when my ex reached out and I told her my feelings. I said “I love you” and “the distance hurts” and some other things along with that. She got back to me but gave more negative feedback about our relationship than positive, justifying her decision like you talked about. I think I gave her all the reassurance she needed. Was this too big of a mistake or should I just hop back into no contact. Thank you for any advice
Very inspiring... Ur being right with yr advice... Dear coach... She says is there a boundary to live with her. N every time she say we ve been apart in depressing way.. What to say in this context
Thank you so much for your video. I would love to do some coaching section but I don’t have means. Well it has been over an year my ex broke up with me, and since last September he is checking my IG at least 4 times a week. I really don’t know what to do
This has been going on for 2 1/2 years. He loves me but loves his space, then he comes to me I'm sorry I love you I regret what I've done, and that I never told you enough that I love you Then he tells me ohhh I didn't want to get back into this destructive relationship? He's been the one to go back and forth, I have always remained the same. I just wanted to see how you're doing. Really??? Then he should of thought about that when it was so easy to ignore me and act worse then a 5 year old that refuses to own up to his BS. BUT THE TRUTH IS, I ALLOWED THIS BEHAVIOR, in Hope's that we would resolve what ever was going on in order to be together! I refuse to let this man use me as a welcome mat !!! I'm done , I love him very much but I am loving me much more and I enjoy myself and I'm learning more about me and it's been amazing!!!
She started posting alot on ig after the breakup and made her account go from private to public. She also posted a story with the song "I'm so into you" on her instagram right after that I started following her. I reached out to her via dm. Then she told me to leave her alone and deleted all her photos and stories. Now her account is also private again whitout any photos and her profile is empty. I feel like she's deeply hurt and I wanna reasure her of my change and that I really like her. Just like you said, I didn't ride her emotional rollercoaster with her, when she was bitter I tried to instead reasure her. I don't wanna hurt her and I've dropped my ego a long time ago, for her sake. I did actually hurt her with words saying stuff like "i don't Care about you" when she broke up. Is she afraid to open up again or let go of the ego? I feel like your advice on this channel is informative and very close to the truth. What is right to do? Help a brother in need
Hey Coach. Great videos. They have helped and are still helping me out during my tough time right. I have a wife who is still going thru an emotional affair (not as bad as a couple of months ago), screamed out divorce when I found out about it a month ago and denies it was cheating. I believe she is in limerence, wants to move out and does no realize what she is doing. One day she comes up being cold and others she is warm where she is happy looking and talkative without me making her talk. I would love to stay with her but yet again, I want to move on with my life. 16 years and two kids with autism. So it is tough. I am working on myself and have began to become understanding of the situation. What should I do in that situation? Mixed signals involved which makes it confusing. Should I share my consoling appts with her? Should I do my thing like listening to music even if we are sitting together watching tv? We still live together as we need to sell the house.
coach you're amazing at what you do!!! cutting it into short! My ex broke up last year reason she gave was she isn't ready for a relationship so then we stopped talking lately we started talking again and like before we started working out in the gym together things were going great we went out on date too and end up making out but she said she is confused about it she dont know what she wants she is lost mentally right now she still wanna make sure if she actually wants to be with me or not so she wanna take a while she said some days she feel like she want me and some days she feel she dont... what should i do about it?
Hey guys from Love Advice TV! Greetings from India and you guys are doing a fabulous job by addressing each and every problem in a seperate video. So here's my thing Me and my girlfriend were in a relationship for 2 years and we broke up because of some petty issues and also our relegion are different and my mother had a problem with this relationship. So she initiated the break up over a petty thing and she went into a rebound relationship, during that period I was in No Contact and then after a month she broke up with him and met me and when she met me she instantly told me that she wants to get back but I wamted to take it slowly however as the days passed we kept meeting we kept texting, communication was happening but still there was this hot and cold behaviour from her and when I asked her that does she want to get back with her rebound she was confused!! That kind of killed me because that guy is offering her a lot of comfort and he is very rich and plus there are no family issues, my ex girlfriend is confused between me and her rebound! Should I just back off and leave because I don't want to be someone's option?
Trust me I understand exactly what you're saying my ex just broke up with me last week and she has been texting me Non-Stop she even said that we should get back together and I knew she was just being emotional because I was going out with my friends at night so it was more a manipulation tactic and today I haven't heard one word from her trust me it's hot and cold Behavior there in one day they're gone the next because they're not sure about you I have been through this before in the past the only advice I could give you is leave them alone you don't owe anybody anything especially a person that left you if the text you or call you that doesn't mean you have to respond at all if these people want us back they have to put in the effort they will use us for their own benefit we have to be very very careful with exes because they know us and they know we have feelings for them because they left us this was not our decision
I might have met up with my ex too early in the process of getting him back. After 3 weeks of limited no contact (due to some shared responsibilities) he had reached out to me a few times without any “good” reason to, and later on even asked if he could come over for coffee since he was in the neighbourhood. I decided to meet him, and our conversation went smoothly as ever before. The only thing was that we ended up in the same bed, and he said to me “I don’t want to give you false expectations..” Well, I decided then that it would be good if I’d take up on the anc again, and it has indeed been quiet from both of us. On New Year’s Eve I then sent away a simple “Happy new year!” and a picture of me blowing a kiss. He answered me “Happy new year! :)” 20 minutes later. Since I didn’t expect any pic from him, I wasn’t disappointed or sad. However, the question I have for you is: How can I move on from this to take things in the right directions of getting him back? Was I right when I decided to take up on the anc?
Thanks Adrian for your video! I have a quick question & i am clueless to what to do: i have been in no contact with my ex for 45 days; my ex finally reached out to me but he was initiallu having this passive agressive attitude so i just ignored him ...& then out of the sudden he started open up to me by saying how much he misses me & think about me all the time....so i just nicely replied that "i miss him too & the breakup made me realize a lot of positive things...." then out of the sudden he just disappeared & even deleted my num from his phone. I am so frustrated & sad about this situation..can you please help me what should i do ? Should i just ask why does he do this & go for another no contact? Or just act indifferent & continue being positive when he reach out to me? Please please help me on this? Thanks a lot!
She is talking to another man, but also showing me couple like actions: kisses, play fighting, wants me to cook for her, saying we alot, suggest things we do together, expect me to take care of her dog, etc.
Thank you Coach Adrian for this video a lot of this makes sense and yes I do experience mixed signals and this after 1 year that we broke up... question is how do I make when he keeps on coming to reach out and I keep my values and yet he still does not listen as to why am I not giving in?? He makes it very difficult sometimes and that is why I keep my distance but when I see him its like he tries to make a conversation as well as he wants me to be there as in the old times and than all of a sudden he pulls away? Is this normal?
What to make of this situation? Were a couple for 6months. She broke up with him stating that she didn't the connection and he didn't have true love for her. Guy tried everything to convince her that she wrong and he loves her and want to stay with her but she told him her heart is not in it and not with him. The guy let her go, she went on to date 2 guys and came back to him stating that the other guys she dated weren't better than him. However, she came back for physical intimacy only because she did not show signs of getting back together, she was using him for sex. The guy realized that and started entertaining other women. She founds out and dropped him again to get into a new 8months relationship while cutting all ties with him. She broke up with her new boyfriend and hit up her main ex again on some sexual gratification again. He now confused. She won't seat down and have a real converaation outdoor. She is not in contact with him frequently anymore. When he asked to meet, she says she is busy and will reach out to let him know when she is available.
My ex broke up with me at the end of August last year after almost two months of dating. He said he was too overwhelmed with school (since he's in pharmacy school) and taking care of his family (his cousin has cancer, his mom was in the hospital for a short amount of time) that he didn't have time for me. It was very upsetting because we both still liked each other and he suggested that we be friends so we could keep each other in each other's lives, but not see each other as often. We continued to talk almost every day after for a month (until beginning of October) but then under my emotional duress, I blamed him for making me sick cuz he stressed me out, when in reality, he didn't actually make me sick, I was just mad at him cuz we weren't officially together anymore. He then suggested that we take a clean break and gradually stopped responding to my messages. This made me upset and then I decided I'd wait until the beginning of January to reach out to him again since I knew he would be on break, apologizing for my behavior. He responded a few times asking how I was doing and that he would love to still be friends. But then he stopped replying. I sent him one last text a week later after that describing to him how I was confused about what he exactly wanted and he still hasn't responded back yet and it's been two days. He usually gets back to me in 1-2 days depending on how busy he is with school. So I'm very confused as to what he's trying to say. I straight up told him since the beginning I wanted him to be honest with me and now he's not even communicating with me. How can I get him to regain interest and at least talk to me so I'm not continuously left in the dark about how he feels? I have realized the mistakes I've made and am continuously working on improving myself.
I totally agree with u Coz this is so true But the question is how can u know that this person wants u for real and itsnot that they are only getting emotional, and when does this period of not responding to them can stop?
My ex reached out yesterday after no contact for only a week, telling me he misses me and he's thinking about me a lot and it's hard to not have my presence. Then he told me he needed to think and that he was going to call me the evening if he got home early. He didn't. Today, nothing. I don't understand. I didn't push or anything he reached out and told me those things on his own, I thought we were finally going to talk and fix things, and today nothing. I'm upset and don't understand. I even sent him a message on snapchat and he didn't even bother to open it and I know he gets notified. So now I'm thinking if writes to me tomorrow, I'm going to do exactly what he did to me, ignore him for the whole day.
That's what I said. How does he NOT Remember ME. US. The positive things. And little things that got us through the HUGE things. It's crazy making! HE thouht of us a lot. But he learned to take it for granted and TRIED to see if he could Have BOTH worlds. That's why when he left he didnt LEAVE! He started calling and texting like he was away over seas!! Coming in-and-out I was so confused. I played the games. I'm sucked in again trying to understand, WHY? Hoping for accountability that he would finally see what hes doing to US. How his actions were causing destruction and it's causing me to lose TRUST and RESPECT. him. He even went as far as talked about marriage and poured his feelings out after I was walking away after a year of bread crumbing and stringing me along. I just finally decided I had to walk away because I wouldn't be FWB. I want a REAL relationship and commitment. That's what I thought HE want to but since he got a taste of some other woman out there. His Friend. He is with kept dealing with her and is with her Now. WHAT WAS ALL THAT FOR??? MY mental anguish to Prove a point that you can't make me commit?? After being with you three years? NO...ALL I WANTED WAS RESPECT.
We have not seen each other. I have been doing me. But this started OUT as MISCHIEF when he left. For nothing GOOD was ever gonna come of it. HE was already seeing her while reconnecting with me. And was lying the whole time. He had this little game Planned. Not thinking it would blow up! Asked me could get passed him sleeping with her, acting remorseful, and humble. He left me share feelings and kept calling! But he never stopped seeing/sleeping with her. She was a "friend" is his circle. So NO. He did this purposely Adrian. He played on my Love for him. Knowing I cherished what we had and I would keep FIGHTING for it. He counted on that! But when he started talking marriage and committment I watched him. And realized that was Bullshit too. And THATS was just too much!! Stooping that Low to keep me hooked?? FOR WHAT?? I realized it was all about HIM from the beginning. HE wanted to have POWER AND CONTROL. Which ONLY Proves HIS weakness. And I wasn't gonna step back like the little puppy he wanted and turn a BLIND to how he was living. And at the same time acting like he is still intrested in me. You say it's normal I look at HOW he played ALL this. It was TRIFLING, DECEIVING, and very Manipulative. It wasn't necessary. And I have lost ALL TRUST AND RESPECT FOR HIM. Now, After finding out he is with this chick officially. Hes trying to guilt me into saying I wasn't reaching out. You weak SOAB. You're the MAN! That I had OPTIONS. The only OPTION I had while he's dealing with someone else, saying he didn't want just ONE woman, not doing anything to prove me differently, talking to me like i was nothing to him...was to WALK AWAY. BUT he just tried to punish me for that. WOW. JUST like a NARC.
Hey coach. Advice on how to proceed on the below would be much appreciated! My ex and I have been back on conversational terms again for the past 3 weeks, with things warming up slowly but steadily, and agreed we should catch up soon. On Sunday evening he invited me over for what was clearly a booty call so I said ‘I can’t, I’m already in bed and not sure it’s a great idea etc.’ Then the next day on Monday afternoon he asked if I wanted to meet up after work, I said I already had plans unfortunately but that I’d be free on Wednesday, which he agreed to. But then when Wednesday comes around... he bails and says he doesn’t think he’s able to make it. It could just be a simple case of not being able to make it, but his tone was slightly different and it felt more like he’d had a change of heart. What would you recommend next? To pull away for a while or to act like it’s no big deal and continue talking intermittently? Amy
I'm experiencing this now. We're broken up sense 2 months and we have a 4 year old daughter together. It feels like I'm in hell to be honest. My ex is driving me crazy but I play it cool. Doing a lot of meditation and working out. It helps some. Yesterday our daughter asked her mother "mom, you and dad are never going to live together ever?". Her mother then said with a hesitating voice "I - guess!". What drives me crazy is that everything feels like before. The only difference is that we sleep in separate rooms. The exs so confusing with the way she acts. The eye contact is strong, the smiles, playing with her hair when we talk. Some times touching my arm. She did stop when I told her It made me confused. A few days ago we went out to eat to this diner. We stood in line and her underarm touched mine several times. She didn't even pull away. Almost like she was testing me or something. During the dinner she said with a confused look in her eyes and soft voice "I have to tell my mother soon". You may have understood by now she broke up with me. Did I break down crying and ended up doing all the stuff on the "don't" list? Hell, yes. But I was able to thanks to many videos and meditation, to get a grip on my self. 2 months into it this now and things seems different. 7 people have told me who don't know each other she is confused. At the diner I had bought myself tea. She asked if it was tea water and I said yes. She then took the teabag and put in in the hot water saying "its not tea without the teabag in the hot water!". She even went and got me a glas so I could drink my soda from. I have to add she's also an introvert. When an introvert goes out of their way doing things for you, like fixing my cargo shorts because I have lost a lot of weight, they do care for you. Their action speaks louder than words. Why did she break up with me? Bickering on and off for almost 8 years. The last 5 years was bad according to her because I was sick. The health problem made me moody with mood-swings. We could never seem to agree or be on the same page. I'm now my way to recovery from the health condition. This has in return made her confused. She also has this outlook on life that bickering or arguing should never happen in a relationship. I have told her that will never happen. The relationship she wants is a fantasy. Bickering and disagreements will happen. She's 38 and I'm 45. She told me a few days ago she don't love me or hate me. "I rather be in between" she said to me. This hot and cold behavior from her is so draining. We have to stay in the house we rent for 2 more months if everything works out finding apartments. Our daughter is showing sign of stress. Something that bothers me. We have no close friends or family in this town to help us out. I would love to get help from someone but money is short. I spend a lot of time in UA-cam and google. I hope one day I can come back and say were back together. Love advice TV is a gift from God.
Hi Coach! I love you all and your videos so much. It helped me a lot!! Will you please help me? I wish I could afford your one on coaching. My ex just told me how great her new boyfriend is and she's gonna fight for him till they are married and he's so worth it and what not. She texted me a whole lot saying about how great he is and how special he makes her feel all the time and she's confident and in love with him. I told her congratulations and that I respect her decision. And she claims she's over me and moved on. It's been just 20days since our breakup and a week of her new relationship. What should I do? I am trying to ignore her but I do reply when she knocks me or calls me. Let me tell you that I survived a suicide attempt for her and she didn't care a week ago when I got to know about her new relationship. But she contacted eventually and she forgave me for being extremely disrespectful as I insulted her infront of her new man out of rage. I messed up. Should I go full no contact and disappear or any brief suggestions? Please please please help me coach I'm going through a lot! I want her back! 😭
So my girlfriend of 10yrs told me she didn’t love me anymore, only as a friend. She said she didn’t want me completely out of her life either. She says there’s no other person in her life. That she needs to be alone right now. I packed and moved out. She says she fell out of love with the old me (took her for granted, she did the same) when we talk and txt I keep it light and always leave her smiling or floating by showing her I’ve changed my ways. You’d think we never broke up. She hasn’t said she loves me again, but she still texts me, and we do go for dinner some weekends. It just kills me because I still love her and I make sure she knows it. I get tempted to make a move on her, but I don’t want to force it. She can be so calm cool and collected, yet my heart breaks for her every time I see her. It’s only been a month…. Should I not jump to speak to her or see her when she asks? I feel like I’m in limbo… any advice is greatly appreciated (she’s 40 and I’m 39)
Hey Adriens. This seems like a complicated situation. I know how frustrating it can be when you've been with someone for so long and they want to stay friends when you want something more. I highly suggest you book a coaching call since this is something we would like to get more details about and help you through this. www.withmyexagain.com
I was in a 3 year and 5 month long distance relationship. He broke up with me because he said I was too controlling. Although he said during the break up and even after the break up that he still loves me, but that's not what he said to our common friend. He told her that he fell out of love and has already moved on. And at that time it was only less than a month when we broke up. He wanted to be friends and even though I know that it wasn't the best idea esp for me because I would always have this hope that we'll get back together I agreed with the friendship thing. Anyway that's how we started best friends. He tells me about their Christmas plans, about his patient, about the party that he's going to attend to (even if I didn't ask about it, he would still insert this party thing in our conversation) he even asked for my opinion about what to wear on the party. I noticed that I am not ok with this kind of set up. So I blocked him on messenger and didn't talk to him for like 2 weeks. And since I deactivated my fb acct I didn't need to block him there yet. Although I already in followed him on IG. But after 2 weeks I missed him terrible and contacted him and he replied as if nothing happened. It was my mistake that i contacted him again because during the no contact I was a little ok. I was able to eat well and sleep well but when we had contact I was a mess again. And thats when I decided that we can't be friends. Maybe just yet. So I sent him a long message telling him I'm sorry because I can't be his friend. That I get hurt seeing his posts tagging other girls with our term of endearment on the post. (I have reactivated my fb here thought that I was ready to see his fb posts). I knew that he did those things 1 to make me jealous 2 to annoy me or 3 to hurt me and inflict more pain. And it hurts to know that i felt that he did it because of the latter. In my long message I even told him I love him and what lead me to send that message was because I was so tired about him making me feel like I was his backup plan. So I blocked him both on fb and messenger and IG. And now I'm in this no contact rule for 23 days now and I am so proud of myself that I haven't contacted him nor unblock him. But our common friend's been telling me that he's posting song lyrics or songs on his social media. (Ashes-celine Dion, superman-five for fighting.. Etc) and I have to admit I can't help but to associate myself to his posts. Posting his personal thoughts on fb which is unnatural for him. My friend said that he deleted the pictures of his parents on his IG.My ex is the most stubborn and egoistic man in this entire universe. After the breakup, I couldn't recognize him anymore. He isn't the man I fell in love with. I don't know what to think anymore..
My ex of 4 years (lived together for 3 and still do for now) says we are never getting back together but at times she wanted to be friends and then randomly says it wont happen. It put me on a roller coaster of emotions. We end up arguing at times but also watching stuff and laughing and talking. She does nice things for me like getting me breakfast or driving me to work. We even went to the beach together and it was nice. I felt kinda sad because I wanted more and when I got home I had a breakdown which mad eys argue the next day. She finally said she doesnt want me in her life anymore and has been real cold and ignoring me. Yesterday she wanted me to go with her to sell something and when I didnt act like I usually did and kept my distance, she started crying a bit.. then she took a bath and talked to family and now shes back to being cold and giving me the cold shoulder. Today we watched UA-cam and laughed again for a bit before she decided to go back into her room.... idk how to feel anymore. I want her back so badly but when I'm focusing on myself and make great progress, we do something and it ends in an argument and why we wont get back together. She even said something about "you want a second chance but your actions are saying a different thing" while crying yesterday.... I'm so confused. Shes going out more and hanging with dude friends more often now. I guess to get away from me..... I need help because I'm at the point where I'm getting sick and starting to hate being around her but also want to be close at the same time.
I hope everything works out for you hun, I feel your pain,I'm slowly working on myself. Just concentrate on yourself and learn to be happy alone maybe she'll start to get those feelings back once she sees you're not depending on her for your happiness. If in the end she doesn't get back with you then it's ok,you'll heal slowly and eventually you'll move on and start dating again. Good luck🙂
My ex and I broke up about 2 and a half months ago. She broke up with me. She said I didn’t spend enough time with her, which she was right. I fumbled around for about a month and then went into no contact. After about 3 weeks of no contact, she reached out to me by sending a picture of an outfit for my daughter(not hers, just mine). She bought it and then asked if I would be at the lake the next weekend. I met her at the lake since her parents house is next to my friends house I am at most weekends in the summer. We met up and spent the weekend together and had fun. She hugged me and told me she had a good time and we went our ways. We then went to eat the next day as well but she sent a message and said she thought we might be spending too much time together and I agreed and backed off. The next day she messaged me asking if I wanted to meet up and go eat again. The next weekend, we spent the whole day Saturday together doing things with my daughter. This past weekend(Memorial Day weekend) we were both off for 4 days. We spent the entire weekend together including me staying in her parents house with them instead of my friends. We had a great time together and she would come and sit in my lap and hug up to me on a regular basis throughout the weekend. She did say she wanted no kissing or sex right now. We went our separate ways yesterday and she text me once she was home last night to let me know she made it safely. She then said she had fun this weekend but felt we were doing too much. She said she wasn’t sure if was as in love with me as she was before. She said she’s afraid that if we get right back in relationship that things will just go back to the way they were and nothing will have changed. I told her I understood where she was coming from because I needed for some things to change too and didn’t want things to just go back to how they were. I am backing off again and letting her reach out first. We have plans for one night this week and again next Saturday. I am unsure what to do at this point. Any tips?
Well he’s never stopped contact with me since the break up , he checks my social media and occasionally likes it but still acts cold and guarded but will stop by for a catch up once a while.. it’s limbo
My ex after 10 months reached out a few days ago apologizing for what she did and seemed open to the possibility of getting back together. The last few days she has been texting me pretty frequently throughout the days, even though I don’t respond right away she usually does, she talks to me right until she goes to sleep. I asked her if she would want to call for a bit yesterday, was expecting her to say yes but she said no, although she did seem happy that I asked her. I didn’t react in a bad way at all, told her no problem and we continued our conversation. I’m just wondering why would she seem so interested over text yet not want to have any actual interactions? I don’t feel like I’ve come across as pushy or needy at all. I was planning on asking her to call me again tonight, and give her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she was just really tired or didn’t feel like talking, but if she says no again I would go straight back into no contact. Does this seem like a good idea to get her back in the future?
My wife who is separated from me right now has told me that isn't about the kids we have nothing to talk about, but she is always venting to me about work and telling me certain Financial stuff about her. And sometimes she jokes and I joke with each other but she still says she's dead set on not coming back
Ex gf broke up with me in January We were no contact until October. Things were great in the 1st month, but then she realized that if we get back together we would end up getting married (which is arguably true). As a result, she distanced herself and wants to pursue other relationships - wanting to find something better (afraid that I'll revert back to my old self)
Hi! Simple question: After no contact, when your ex is in hot and cold behaviour, even after a meeting for coffee, is that ok to just ask her "why are you in hot and cold? Sometimes you are so nice and sometimes you are so distance?" And if the answer is yes, is better when she is hot or cold? Thank you for you videos! Keep going!
My ex of 2 years and I just recently reconnected after one month of no contact. I spoke to him and he gave me mixed signals. He told me "can't friends just hold hands?" but because I wanted to hold his hand, I did. Then we laughed and joked about a lot of things having a good time. My speculation is that he doesn't want the commitment because he is afraid I will grow possessive and clingy again. We hugged for a long time, and he would do nothing but say he needed time to himself to find himself again. He said he wanted to "date as friends" and I'm not sure what to make of that. And then made it clear I was not to treat him like a boyfriend, but as a 'normal person'. He did tell me he would like to build it from the ground up. I tried to be fun around him, but then showed sadness, too which I know I shouldn't but it was hard. He did tell me he could be a 'typical a******' and come upstairs to have his way with me and then come back the next day just to do it again but because he respects me as a human being he wouldn't. Sounds to me he doesn't know what he wants. We spent this evening holding hands and talking. He told me I'm not losing him, but he wants the freedom to do what he wants. I asked him why we couldn't do that when were together and he told me he didn't want to worry about anything but his own emotions.. When I told him good bye I slowly released my hand and said bye as I went into my front door. I told him "see you later" and he responded "I look forward to it". He waited, and I walked up the stairs. As I looked out my window upstairs he waved at me. Then, after driving in his car he slowly pulled away and waved again. After that, he called me to tell me about fires smoke in the hills to ask my neighbors about it I told him I needed to let him go and he said okay. Please help me LA TV. Can I get some insight?
Long story short...my husband of 19 years told me he doesn’t know what he wants anymore, then gets mad if I am not “readily available”, then says he’s not in love with me anymore, then wants to still be intimate....he travels a lot for work and acts rude on the phone to me now but then if he calls and I don’t answer he will text ok don’t answer or when I do call him back he says several times in the convo “well I called you several times but you didn’t answer”. I don’t acknowledge when he says that. I feel like we are in this ping pong game. I love him but I’m so tired of this. I told him to go file for divorce if that’s what he wants but he has not done that. It’s been 4 months. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m sad, mad, hurt, hopeful and just all over the place. He told our 16 year old he wants to come home but then he’s ugly to me. What in the hell is this? Why this back and forth business? What do I do? I want to work it out but I don’t know what to do at this point.
Yes my ex tells other people that he likes someone else but sometimes flirts with me hardcore. Sometimes acts like he wants me back sometimes not. He specifically said, “don’t like me, so when I leave the city we can still meet up” could this be because he’s leaving the city soon therefore not wanting to do the long distance thing? Should I do a letter in this case? Thanks your videos have been very helpful.
I'm constantly getting mixed signals.....from her saying "we're done, she doesn't want me" one moment. The hours later, will send pictures of her, everything from just a selfie on her way to work, to a selfie with added filters. She says she doesn't want " us" or have then energy to talk about us. But then with call/text wanting to vent about something or just to chat. Shell call/text to chat when she gets off work or settles in for the night. I'm trying to not be " so accommodating all the time. But it's hard bc I want to hear her voice and hear about her day...be the ear she wants to vent to
My ex recently broke up with me last week. 2 weeks ago and through the 10 months of being in a relationship he would always tell me he wanted a future with me and wants to be a role model for my son. We often talked about what he wanted and what I wanted and I actually thought we were on the same page since his actions followed up by his words. The reason for the breakup was because acted out on his emotions (according to him) the next day he acted like nothing and told me he still wanted to be in a relationship with me then tells me he wants to move to another state with his immediate family is and I obviously can’t due to me being a single mom so I told him that if he loves, he will understand. He says he wants me to move with him and my son but here’s the trick I don’t really know him that well to move and obviously I will need a serious commitment from him... which we talked about in the past (marriage). Long story short he tells me to give him space which I did, then on Monday of this week he tells me he loves me and really misses me... then goes on being bitter and on a jealous rant regarding a co worker of ours who I don’t associate with much but according to him I do. Then, he tells me he wants to talk things out and would like to reconcile. Then he goes mia for a day and who freaking knows if I’ll hear from him now. So I don’t know what the heck is going on. Help!
My ex and I sperated after he moved back home. After maybe 7 months I have moved near him for a great job opportunity.. he got me in contact with the right people to get the job. He bought me a gift for starting the new job. He has bought meals when we meet up. He offered his car when I drove home for the weekend. He is doing more then when we were in a relationship almost. He has a new gf but keeps doing these things for me. I'm trying to distance myself. Still not sure of the right move on my part.
My ex and I have broken up 3 times now. He broke up because we argued. I have worked on not relying on him for happiness as I felt I was only happy with him! He’s aware of my changes. He told me we shouldn’t talk as he misses me and wants things to work but doesn’t think we should get back together. Then 2 days later he gets drunk and calls me and texts me saying he is finding everything hard and negative and was wondering how I was... now today I asked “how is the hangover” and he said “not good aha, going out tonight too” and then he blanked my response “oh nice what you doing”. I don’t know what to do or what he wants and I really want things to work for us.
My ex started to date a new girl two months after out breakup. I don't know if they are still together but I assume that's how it is since I haven't heard of them breaking up. During that time I've been trying to be on friendly terms with him. He never contacts me first unless it is something important but he always seems way to eager to help me when I ask him. When he is at my place for some reason (to help me with my class and so on) he always tries to find an excuse to stay a little longer. And when we are alone, the connection between us feels great, so I'd say that there is still chemistry between us. But I noticed that after our fun time together he starts to pull back; he can leave me on read, reply in one word and behave as cold as ice in general. Can it also be considered as mixed messages or hot and cold behavior? Because it really confuses me, that's for sure
Sometimes moving on is the best thing to do. Be indifference and work on yourself to be the best version of yourself and attract people that actually want to be with you and won’t play these games.
Happened to me . He said we will never ever be together. But he is insisting to keep the connection and he is terrifying that I might change my number . I told him that I don’t want him 🙄 and he stopped texting me he was angry but I know he will come back again. I feel happy I’m free now after the heeling process. took long time more than 2 years in pain& tears to heal but I’m proud of myself 👏🏽
It's really true what they say that as time goes you'll eventually get your power back and not care.it's been two months since he broke up with me.we are on long distance. I was miserable and pathetic throughout the first week. He said he would still be there for me.even if he is he's not giving the same supportive self he was before. I may have some part to play in the breakup because I didn't fight for him,didn't introduce him to my family, we had our old issues and arguments on top of the fact he said he needs time to figure himself out and have self love. Despite all of these we loved each other and distance was not even an issue for us.I made this accountability message early on so that I could show him I recognized my mistakes,apologized and took accountability for it and since we are using only one app and his mind is unpredictable I grabbed the chance to do it.I'm still a work of progress. since I'm implementing an indefinite radio silence I'm still trying to heal and focus on more important things like the health issues I'm having right now. He said he doesn't want to be with me but the last call we had he was starting to be his sweet self and talked about the future but I could feel he was still holding back.the day before he called I was feeling a bit bad cuz he didn't reach out but when he did the next day I was not feeling his sweet talks but I kept my cool.now I think he's just reaching out when it's convenient for him.so indefinite radio silence has helped me cope.
My ex contacts me for the weirdest reason I believe I have done the right thing. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
My ex keeps coming and pulling back. Last attempt was New Years Eve. It was his turn with our girls. He sent me an email inviting me to spend New Year’s Eve with him & our girls at Disneyland. He bought us top of the line passes. My daughters called me and told me they wanted me to go, they’re 10 & 5. I went. It was very emotional. He told me loved me and that he wanted us to start seeing someone to help us. I never in a million years thought he would suggest the specific therapist that he did. We spent the next 3 days together with our girls. That’s how long the excitement lasted. On the 3rd day he basically told me that I am the love of his life but he doesn’t want to let me down and that he couldn’t make any promises. That he wanted to see the therapist to “see what happens.” I told him that wasn’t good enough for me because he’s done this to me too many times and I need to get on with my life, with or without him. So now we’re back at square one and we’ve resumed our divorce proceedings. I’ve decided that I can’t speak to him, text and email is all I can do for my mental well being right now.
Most of the time these messages are trapes...😡
Dont be a.... plane B for your ex.
Always focus what you need.... not him or her
true
Definitely just in time. Thank you! I am strong. No more playing mind games with hot and cold men.
My ex finally told me he left because he got scared. After we broke up I went no contact. I dont think he expected that. Then he tried to find someone else but quickly found grass isn't always greener on the other side. He texted me one day. Became emotional and went silent for 2 weeks. Then again emotion and went silent for 5 days. I never once reached out to him.
He tried to play life and work were great. But the truth came out.
He told me he missed my company and a lot about me.
I. however, was not as nice. He hasn't changed. I dont want to be there for convenience or lonely etc. He wants to be friends..mend things. Cant do that when its breadcrumbs.
He had the true test last week. I was rushed to the hospital. My friend let him know.
He texted me asking me if I was ok. I told him what happened. He came to the hospital. He wanted to be there with me. But he had to wait in the waiting room. When he saw me he gave me the biggest hug..didnt seem like he wanted to let go. He took me to get food and my meds.
He said when my friend sent him that message there was no question..he was going to the hospital..even though he knew I really didnt want him to. I'm still hurt he could throw me away so fast.
But listening to him..he regrets it. He remembered little things from 2 yrs ago I did for him. He remembers the positives things.
I am still keeping my distance. We do text. He checked on me all weekend. But for now he has to continue to realize what he lost. And maybe someday learn people are not here forever and you have to value them while they are here. Because it's not easy as you think to find a true connection with someone.
this is so true, I hope you are ok !
Can i know your upate please. I'm in the same situation and don't know what to do.
when did you break up?/ how long after did he come back?
It's nice he remembers the small details. I'm going through this with my ex girl she just disappeared after a year of dating bliss. But I'm disturbed because, I remember every detail about our adventures together, but she appears like she doesn't have any such memories. It disgusts me because I busted my ass to make those fantastic memories she has seemingly forgotten. Maybe her head was run-over by a bus since I was with her? Assigned her to the irrelevant bucket. Idiot.
Daaaang girl! This is inspiring! Hope you’re feeling better!
It has been almost 3 months since my ex broke up with me after 13 years. She is 70 I am 64 - see folks older people suffer the same things. It is obviously Christmas time, and I have been picking up mail from the front porch, where this time she left me a present and some cookies.
I am now a recovering alcoholic. She could no longer put up with my drinking. I absolutely get her reasoning for "not wanting you in my life" statements. But present and cookies?
Other than picking up mail, I have been steadfast in my no contact. The fact is, I needed her and took her for granted while drinking. I am sober (yet again) and am finding my own way and strength now - and don't need her, but do want her back. Cookies? Why did it have to be cookies?
Patrick dear. Your in recovery I feel a relationship caused your trigger. Please find a sponsor I have 23 yrs. Relationships are funky for some of us. We still need that 4th step. Call a member if u go to AA. SHE CAN LEAVE COOKIES. OKAY FINE. DONT READ ANYTHING INTO IT. We gave to be careful of codependency. U know this. And toxic behavior. As time grew I learned more about healthy relationships. So will you. We have a tendency as recovering people to handle relationships the old ways. Like our past ones . Unhealthy as hell.lol your powerless I had to read my big book . All over again. But I have made some strides dealing with relationships. U can also. One day at a time.
My ex calls on me when others he chases are not around for him. That is when he is sweet to me. When others come calling for him he treats me as if I never was there for him. He becomes indifferent.
Hello! My ex broke up with me early September and I went into no contact. Since then I have gotten a job I've been working towards, and traveled to Japan. When I got the job, I posted about it on social media, and my ex texted me congratulating me. We texted back and forth a bit, nothing serious but I kept things lighthearted and let the conversation die. When I went to japan, my ex texted me wishing me a safe trip, again I kept things lighthearted, thanked her and let the conversation die. When I returned to the states, 3 days later she texted me asking how I was adjusting to being back, again, we texted back and forth a bit, but this time I asked her if she wanted to catch up over coffee and I'd tell her about my trip. She agreed. I picked her up and we had coffee and talked like we normally would. It wasn't awkward at all, and after that she wanted to show me her new house she just moved into. We talked for about another hour and when I told her I had to go, she gave me this half-assed one arm "friend hug". So I took that as a sign of not wanting to get back together, and went back into no contact. Then on thanksgiving she texts me wishing me a happy thanksgiving, I returned the gesture and wished her one as well, we talked for a bit and then I let the conversation die. 2 weeks later, she texts me about one of her classmates getting kicked from the nursing program, random, but I replied, kept the conversation lighthearted and then let the conversation die. And now 2 weeks ago, she's been liking my tweets, likes all of posts on instagram, and texted me about one of my tweets about baby yoda.. random, and again I let the conversation die.
I'm not exactly sure what to do at this point. I feel like it's a good sign that she keeps reaching out, but I also don't want to keep up with meaningless conversations. I was thinking of either letting her try to set up a meet up, trying once more to see her in person (and if I get the one arm friend hug again just letting things die out), or just flat out letting things die out. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
the truth is my "ex" was never mine, so I can't hope to get back what was not there anyway... having someone on facebook list is not enough to consider it a connection, when in real life people avoid getting personal... the truth is we live by dreams and imagination while social reality / circumstance is far more limited than the mind or heart wishes it to be, so it remains just a beautiful dream of what if
Beautifully said and well-put. It's important to not get lost in the "what ifs" - Coach Adrian
Coach Adrian: you are genuine, knowledgeable and oh, so wonderful!
Completely heartbroken, but feeling as I made some progress. He suddenly ended it, and there I was, left picking up the pieces of my heart. Following your advice, I left him entirely alone. No texts, no calls, none of that. Last week he texted, wanting to meet and have coffe.
Now... Coach Natalie, on one occasion said that it's ok to ignore his first message. Se said that if they reached out once, they will reach out again. I didn't pick up his thread because I felt that I was the one who kept our relationship going.... new, I am just so curious about the future 🙄
He sent me a message (we’ve been broke up for 3 months) that said “Damn it Amanda!! You had to let me be myself with you and we lost the best thing that could have been. I’m not blaming you only. Ignorance being one, stubbornness two and guilt being three, sooo much!!! It has broken me but I still miss all of the good. I don’t know why I’m doing this. It drives me crazy and at the same time makes me want to stay in my bubble”
He sent me that two nights ago. I responded the morning after he sent it and owned up to my mistakes and how scared I was of losing him because something as good as what we had couldn’t happen to me, I operated out of fear and that was on me, not him. I told him I miss him being around but also understand why he wants to stay closed off too because I should have changed these things already and it took all of this for me to really get it. He helped me to see myself and I regret more than anything in my whole life that I didn’t fix it sooner.
He hasn’t responded to my last message. I’m not sure what will happen.
These videos are great and such a huge help. I can tell you and your team really CARE about others and truly want to help.
Thank you for all you do.
work on myself
stay strong
stay confident
know what you want
(have clarity)
keep conversation to the minimum
My ex pulled away from me almost 2 months ago, which felt like a surprise...but after no contact and reflection I realize he was stressed at withdrawing which was triggering insecurity and I was being more needy. We didn't officially break up, but he distanced himself for 3 weeks, and during that time I took space and did not reach out when he was unresponsive to my initial attempt to fix things. He showed up and asked me to have coffee on the spot and we spent about 1.5 hours together, and it was very apparent his feelings for me were strong. I was poised by also showed i was willing to move towards him and he suggested we spend some time together. He was keen to jump in, serve and impress me, and be close ...he asked for a hug, and I could feel his heart pounding against my chest. I felt like maybe Id been a bit cold so after a few days I reached out and said it was nice to see him and accepted his offer and that it would be nice for us to ski together as he'd suggested. He was he was working those days but suggested another time soon, and that he'd take a look. We had a few of these conversations about us spending time together, also ending in him touching base at a later date, and me left wondering...with him in the power of position. This last time he said lets touch base when he returned from a work project, I left it for him to take initiative. Its now been probably 2 weeks, christmas has come and gone and we've not been intouch. This was an 8 month relationship, that felt like it ended out of no where. I feel confused and not sure if I should make an effort as he has been very responsive and I do know he is somewhat insecure and has a fearful anxious attachment pattern, but it seems if I move towards him he just moves away. I feel like I can't win so Im just doing nothing.
Makes sense. My ex showed back up 4 years after we broke up. First thing she said to me was. I'm in a relationship, it's serious. I didn't let it affect me, after that I made amends with her, she gave me a hug.
Made everything clear one minute were talking the next minute I don’t hear from him I just keep on doing me and being happy, I’m at different place in my life I don’t need him to be happy, Thanks Coach Adrian
Wonderful!
Coach Adrian I have applied everything that you and your team have recommended and it took my ex right off her high horse and into my arms. Your techniques are spot on. Thank you!
Thank YOU for your comment and letting us and the Love Advice TV community know of your success! We are so happy for you Paul Williams! Keep us posted on this new chapter of your relationship and reach out to us if you need ANY help at all. We're not only here to help you get your ex back, we want you, most of all, to KEEP HER! - Adrian
I will be sure to reach out thanks again!
Paul william Paul please tell me what did you do? My ex is on a high horse right now and it’s acting shady towards me. How did you flip it. We have a son together I started only texting her asking for my kid once a day after she left me a month ago.
I had a coaching session a few days ago it made me feel strong but I have to say I was already there before we spoke because of these videos they awaken you to what’s really happening and force you to look at yourself and your situation I just needed to hear it one on one thank you you guys are amazing I know now I don’t want my old relationship back if he can’t be new and improved then I will walk away
Thank you to you and your team. Been loving all the videos, man wished I saw y'all before I broke up and been failing my old relationship. Theses videos are helping me grow!
Hello, so straight to the point. My ex says heq still loves me, misses me, and likes that when I tell him he will be mine and all mine. However, out of nowhere, he didn't answer to my last text, and from then on, we didn't talk for a couple of days. Therefore, I did reach out and asked if he was ok and that whenever he is available that he can call me. Once I said that, he said no to me, asking if he is he doing ok. he didn't want to talk about that and then left me hanging and didn't say anything else. I'm confused, but then again, j wish to give him space. What should I do?
You rock plain and simply
Hi Adrian, with the exception of unblocking me on Facebook, my ex hasn’t reached out in almost 6 weeks. I have not made any contact with the exception of emailing him when I passed him coming out of his driveway. I didn’t want him to think that I was passing his house because I was stalking him. I was at a Christmas celebration one block up from where he lives and coming back that way. My email just said “what timing, was up the street at an event and I didn’t want you to think anything other than what it was.” He responded “I didn’t” and that was the last contact which was about a month ago. Despite the pain I have been working on myself a lot! I am interviewing to change my career- my first interview is tomorrow. I am volunteering at the animal shelter near me starting January 5. I joined a gym. I’m socializing with friends as much as possible. And of course I focus a lot on my kids. I took your advice and smile at myself in the mirror every day and use positive affirmations as well as journaling. I feel that I’m closer to being ready to reach out to him through the hand written letter. I am saving up for one on one session with you to go over that letter. I’ve already bought & listen to your audio seminar. There’s so many other aspects of this break up. He did things wrong. I became needy and clingy. I feel almost hopeless and then in another moment I feel that well of course he’ll want to hear for me. I know I should continue working on myself and I absolutely will. What other advice do you have at this point based on this info?
Thank you for all you do!
Coach,
My ex is reaching out every month and then blocking me from everywhere.
She is playing hot and cold and I love her so Much for me it’s difficult to handle these traumas..
What should i do should I ignore her this time or not? Need ur advice.
It was great and useful. Mixed messages made.me very anxious. So i started not to react at them. He keeps on saying good bye and take care sometimes I don't respond these messages, they don't have content. It's difficult o manage this stage. Thank you a.lot.
Hey, just wanted to say I’m a huge fan of your videos. My husband has been acting hot and cold. He told me he wanted a divorce so I graciously accepted his decision at first. After that, I made a mistake and begged for him back, twice. He started acting mean to me which was a side I’d never seen of him. I, then decided to initiate no contact which lasted nine days. He then came by our apartment while I was at work (he is living with friends right now) and saw all of my stuff packed up and panicked. I decided to move back home with my family which is on the other side of the country and cost me a lot of money. Before I left, he helped my sister and I pack my uhaul and told me he missed me and even followed me
To the gas station after we said our goodbyes and even said he’d come visit me if it was okay with me and also told me he still loves me. He told my mom the same thing and she said maybe you guys just need a break. I understand he needed space in the marriage and I was becoming too clingy and overbearing but I didn’t want to stay with someone or keep begging so I had to leave and move on with my life. When we said our goodbyes he almost bursted into tears but stopped himself. I’m going on almost two weeks of no contact and haven’t heard anything from him. What should I do?
Amazing video, dear coach. I'm just in that moment as you told me. One week he sent to me a song (shallow, Lady gaga and Bradley Cooper) and next week he dissappeared...last sunday again, he texted me to have a beer with him and we were talking and he proposed to me have a dinner tomorrow night. Now i'm really confident, strong, happy...and he realized that i'm really well without him. For the moment, as you told me, Adrián...i'll do my best at dates and rest of the days i'll continue focus on me without reaching out him. 😘😘 for you and all Love Advice Team 😊
The point that I’m going through this right now really just creeped me out 😂😂. I did the no contact method by watching your videos and 6 months later my ex is back into my life . Next obstacle is figuring out all these mixed signals he’s giving me . He wants to “just be friends” and have sex , however he gets mad and jealous when I talk about other guys and he said he still has feelings for me but he does NOT want a relationship. He also said that he feels like we’d never stop being involved with each other however, he also said in the future if he found someone he’d lose contact with me and hopefully I’d do the same . He’s always kissing me right before we depart each other , but he doesn’t wanna cuddle when we’re together because he feels like it’ll “bring on more feelings between us that he doesn’t want.” I’m confused and I don’t know what to do anymore
Thanks for the videos and advice. I Believe it provides added strength. I'm a March Pisces, Got more Love & Passion inside than I know from what I value Love & Relationships as from what I've been told. I'm pushing 50, I been with my Aries girlfriend 12yrs minus 3 yrs..but still had contact by phone, just lived in different states during the 3 yrs..in which I had to leave becuase I moved into her house for yrs, and became part of her big family. I was cheated on twice by her in the beginning years..but I never once cheated b/c she has been all I ever wanted & wanted True Love for in such a big way. She has been a frequent alcoholic..not everyday, but alot of days thru the wk, she would say hurtful things & get violent confrontational at times, then never remember, when told of these things and the hurt I felt, I came off as complaining. If a man cooks, cleans, works & contributes steadily, has been faithful always, and always makes the moves passionately & affectionately..other than being wrong for "expecting" faithfulness, friendship & Love in return..and other than me somewhat begging & pleading "previously" b4 this 3rd & final breakup..what am I doing wrong? The only thing she said was "I can't love you how u want to be loved..and I irritated her a lot..by being the Pisces I am..things I never saw myself doing. I have quit cigarettes for years, dont do drugs AT ALL, and have gone sober with alcohol..all to change for her & my own health..though she hasn't quit cigs or alcohol..what should or can I do if I want her still? Today we are 2 states away..but she wants to stay distant friends..in time. Please any help is Very Appreciated.
Hey adrian you're getting up there with natalie. Good vid you guys are rocking
Very well thought out
LOL... thank you :) - Coach Adrian
Hi, I love your videos they have helped me so much, my ex of 3 years broke up with me a month ago, and after I desperately tried to get him back (it was embarrassing). Then I found your videos and implanted the no contact rule. He texted me the other day asking if we could get dinner and discuss where we stand, we are meeting in a week for dinner and drinks. What should I expect? Does this means he wants to give our relationship another chance?
Thank you so much for all these wonderful and helpful tips. That's all I would wanted to tell you to you and all your colleagues. Awesome work.
My ex and I broke up about a month ago...no contact with him for about 3 wks, he was mean and nasty. Now, for about a week now, he is texting me everyday and ALL day! I’m like wtf? He’s the one that broke it off, he has so many personal problems going on. Wants to stay “friends”, doesn’t want to lose me from his life...um, what friends texts all day every day? I’m getting mixed emotions! I’m highly emotional, and don’t know what to do. I’ve been watching all of your videos, and I just want to say THANK YOU all from the bottom of my heart. It has helped me to see my value in all of this. I still respond, not quickly, I’m very kind and considerate. He’s getting more and more communicative, even wanting to meet for lunch. I just don’t know where it will go.
I absolutely love these videos! I do however have a question on the proper balance when a relationship is in this stage and you live together what do you do when he wants to make sure that you're still there? We've been living together for about 7 months now and we had a pretty good fight about a month ago and have had a really hard time attempting to recover since. I want things to work out with us but I also want to let him know that I'm not just an option that will be here when it's convenient for him, he feels like it, or his friends aren't available?
I don’t know whether my comment will even be read by this point. Me and my ex broke up a month or two from the time I leave this comment, and recently we had a heart to heart conversation about the past. He broke up with me claiming he had lost love for me, to soon return and explain a month into the breakup that it was all due to his depression. The day we had reestablished contact , he had gotten injured during a sports game and I had called to check on him.. then we both mutually spilled our guts about how we felt. Nothing on the lines of “getting back together” but definitely some sort of love and chemistry remaining. Since that day, it has been about two weeks and everyday for those two weeks we have spoken, ran into each other etc. However, I’m not the one who initiates this contact, he is! He goes out of his way to speak to me, call me at times and even speaks to me in person! A few days ago, he had another sports event and I run a food stand for a fundraiser so I attend all his games. He asked me after the game, if I’d like to go out to eat with him, to which I agreed. We were laughing and talking, he even placed kisses on my forehead and held me in ways I would only assume in a romantic sense. He even went as far as to call me “babe” by accident and then kiss me..We haven’t spoke about what conspired between the two of us, me being too afraid to rush this since we JUST returned to communication and him being emotionally unavailable and generally a man who doesn’t speak on his emotions. As of today however , he didn’t message me first at all, to which I’m confused ? How should I take his behavior?
I normally act indifferent and don't let her negativity affect me or give into to her trying to make me feel jealous and keep a positive mindset and attitude, am I going in the right direction, ps keep up the great work❤️😊
This is great! You're doing EXACTLY what you should be doing. You shouldn't let your ex girlfriend knock you off your center and it shows your conviction and strength as a man - Coach Adrian
Love Advice TV thanks so much! You guys are amazing! Been on this journey through many months and have watched your videos constantly and have committed to being better as a man and an individual as a whole to build a long lasting relationship and to better myself in the process for the long run :)
Hey Adrian I’ve been in the hot and cold for a few weeks now. Think I was gaining control of the situation but listened to a buddy instead of my gut when my ex reached out and I told her my feelings. I said “I love you” and “the distance hurts” and some other things along with that. She got back to me but gave more negative feedback about our relationship than positive, justifying her decision like you talked about. I think I gave her all the reassurance she needed. Was this too big of a mistake or should I just hop back into no contact. Thank you for any advice
Very inspiring... Ur being right with yr advice... Dear coach... She says is there a boundary to live with her. N every time she say we ve been apart in depressing way.. What to say in this context
Love your Passion Coach Adrian - Thank You 💙
Thank you so much for watching Wendy!
www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/
Thank you so much for your video. I would love to do some coaching section but I don’t have means. Well it has been over an year my ex broke up with me, and since last September he is checking my IG at least 4 times a week. I really don’t know what to do
Thank you I really needed to hear this! 😊👍
This has been going on for 2 1/2 years. He loves me but loves his space, then he comes to me I'm sorry I love you I regret what I've done, and that I never told you enough that I love you Then he tells me ohhh I didn't want to get back into this destructive relationship? He's been the one to go back and forth, I have always remained the same.
I just wanted to see how you're doing. Really??? Then he should of thought about that when it was so easy to ignore me and act worse then a 5 year old that refuses to own up to his BS. BUT THE TRUTH IS, I ALLOWED THIS BEHAVIOR, in Hope's that we would resolve what ever was going on in order to be together! I refuse to let this man use me as a welcome mat !!! I'm done , I love him very much but I am loving me much more and I enjoy myself and I'm learning more about me and it's been amazing!!!
Great job! Happy to see you have rediscovered your self-worth! - Coach Adrian
@@LoveAdviceTVCommunity it isn't easy but I am learning so much about myself and its been truly rewarding.
Patricia Noriega patricia
just wanted to say: thank you!!!!!!! :) ;)
Thanks Adrian!! Much needed and appreciated X
I'm glad to hear the videos were helpful for you, Michael. Thank you for watching.
Coach Adrian
Really needed to hear this today. Thank you.
She started posting alot on ig after the breakup and made her account go from private to public. She also posted a story with the song "I'm so into you" on her instagram right after that I started following her. I reached out to her via dm. Then she told me to leave her alone and deleted all her photos and stories. Now her account is also private again whitout any photos and her profile is empty. I feel like she's deeply hurt and I wanna reasure her of my change and that I really like her. Just like you said, I didn't ride her emotional rollercoaster with her, when she was bitter I tried to instead reasure her. I don't wanna hurt her and I've dropped my ego a long time ago, for her sake. I did actually hurt her with words saying stuff like "i don't Care about you" when she broke up. Is she afraid to open up again or let go of the ego? I feel like your advice on this channel is informative and very close to the truth. What is right to do? Help a brother in need
Awesome much-needed advice!!
Hey Coach. Great videos. They have helped and are still helping me out during my tough time right. I have a wife who is still going thru an emotional affair (not as bad as a couple of months ago), screamed out divorce when I found out about it a month ago and denies it was cheating. I believe she is in limerence, wants to move out and does no realize what she is doing. One day she comes up being cold and others she is warm where she is happy looking and talkative without me making her talk. I would love to stay with her but yet again, I want to move on with my life. 16 years and two kids with autism. So it is tough. I am working on myself and have began to become understanding of the situation. What should I do in that situation? Mixed signals involved which makes it confusing. Should I share my consoling appts with her? Should I do my thing like listening to music even if we are sitting together watching tv? We still live together as we need to sell the house.
Really helpful you guys are, appreciated!!🙏🏾
coach you're amazing at what you do!!! cutting it into short! My ex broke up last year reason she gave was she isn't ready for a relationship so then we stopped talking lately we started talking again and like before we started working out in the gym together things were going great we went out on date too and end up making out but she said she is confused about it she dont know what she wants she is lost mentally right now she still wanna make sure if she actually wants to be with me or not so she wanna take a while she said some days she feel like she want me and some days she feel she dont... what should i do about it?
Hey guys from Love Advice TV!
Greetings from India and you guys are doing a fabulous job by addressing each and every problem in a seperate video.
So here's my thing
Me and my girlfriend were in a relationship for 2 years and we broke up because of some petty issues and also our relegion are different and my mother had a problem with this relationship.
So she initiated the break up over a petty thing and she went into a rebound relationship, during that period I was in No Contact and then after a month she broke up with him and met me and when she met me she instantly told me that she wants to get back but I wamted to take it slowly however as the days passed we kept meeting we kept texting, communication was happening but still there was this hot and cold behaviour from her and when I asked her that does she want to get back with her rebound she was confused!! That kind of killed me because that guy is offering her a lot of comfort and he is very rich and plus there are no family issues, my ex girlfriend is confused between me and her rebound!
Should I just back off and leave because I don't want to be someone's option?
Would you be able to do a video on this topic? My ex sent me a closure text after no contact. Can I still turn things around?
My ex will text me all day one day, then I don't hear from him the next day?!?!?
Trust me I understand exactly what you're saying my ex just broke up with me last week and she has been texting me Non-Stop she even said that we should get back together and I knew she was just being emotional because I was going out with my friends at night so it was more a manipulation tactic and today I haven't heard one word from her trust me it's hot and cold Behavior there in one day they're gone the next because they're not sure about you I have been through this before in the past the only advice I could give you is leave them alone you don't owe anybody anything especially a person that left you if the text you or call you that doesn't mean you have to respond at all if these people want us back they have to put in the effort they will use us for their own benefit we have to be very very careful with exes because they know us and they know we have feelings for them because they left us this was not our decision
Ces mine said he loved me one week and the next he likes his freedom and want to play the field
My ex baby mama sometimes she showing that she want to come back but other time like she doesn't know me
Good one..been there done that..
I might have met up with my ex too early in the process of getting him back. After 3 weeks of limited no contact (due to some shared responsibilities) he had reached out to me a few times without any “good” reason to, and later on even asked if he could come over for coffee since he was in the neighbourhood. I decided to meet him, and our conversation went smoothly as ever before. The only thing was that we ended up in the same bed, and he said to me “I don’t want to give you false expectations..” Well, I decided then that it would be good if I’d take up on the anc again, and it has indeed been quiet from both of us. On New Year’s Eve I then sent away a simple “Happy new year!” and a picture of me blowing a kiss. He answered me “Happy new year! :)” 20 minutes later. Since I didn’t expect any pic from him, I wasn’t disappointed or sad. However, the question I have for you is: How can I move on from this to take things in the right directions of getting him back? Was I right when I decided to take up on the anc?
Thanks Adrian for your video!
I have a quick question & i am clueless to what to do: i have been in no contact with my ex for 45 days; my ex finally reached out to me but he was initiallu having this passive agressive attitude so i just ignored him ...& then out of the sudden he started open up to me by saying how much he misses me & think about me all the time....so i just nicely replied that "i miss him too & the breakup made me realize a lot of positive things...." then out of the sudden he just disappeared & even deleted my num from his phone.
I am so frustrated & sad about this situation..can you please help me what should i do ? Should i just ask why does he do this & go for another no contact? Or just act indifferent & continue being positive when he reach out to me?
Please please help me on this?
Thanks a lot!
Great video as always. Much love from Seattle!!!
Thank you for watching! Sending love back to you! - Coach Adrian
She is talking to another man, but also showing me couple like actions: kisses, play fighting, wants me to cook for her, saying we alot, suggest things we do together, expect me to take care of her dog, etc.
Holy crap, this is what's happening to me too.
I needed this.
Thank you coach 🙏🏼
I'm gad to hear that, Vandana. Thank you for watching.
Coach Adrian
Thanks, great advice
Glad it was helpful!
Great video
Thank you for your kind words.
Coach Adrian
Thank you Coach Adrian for this video a lot of this makes sense and yes I do experience mixed signals and this after 1 year that we broke up... question is how do I make when he keeps on coming to reach out and I keep my values and yet he still does not listen as to why am I not giving in?? He makes it very difficult sometimes and that is why I keep my distance but when I see him its like he tries to make a conversation as well as he wants me to be there as in the old times and than all of a sudden he pulls away? Is this normal?
You hit the nail on the head, wow, this is the best explanation I've heard on mixed messages.
What to make of this situation?
Were a couple for 6months. She broke up with him stating that she didn't the connection and he didn't have true love for her. Guy tried everything to convince her that she wrong and he loves her and want to stay with her but she told him her heart is not in it and not with him. The guy let her go, she went on to date 2 guys and came back to him stating that the other guys she dated weren't better than him. However, she came back for physical intimacy only because she did not show signs of getting back together, she was using him for sex. The guy realized that and started entertaining other women. She founds out and dropped him again to get into a new 8months relationship while cutting all ties with him. She broke up with her new boyfriend and hit up her main ex again on some sexual gratification again. He now confused. She won't seat down and have a real converaation outdoor. She is not in contact with him frequently anymore. When he asked to meet, she says she is busy and will reach out to let him know when she is available.
My ex broke up with me at the end of August last year after almost two months of dating. He said he was too overwhelmed with school (since he's in pharmacy school) and taking care of his family (his cousin has cancer, his mom was in the hospital for a short amount of time) that he didn't have time for me. It was very upsetting because we both still liked each other and he suggested that we be friends so we could keep each other in each other's lives, but not see each other as often.
We continued to talk almost every day after for a month (until beginning of October) but then under my emotional duress, I blamed him for making me sick cuz he stressed me out, when in reality, he didn't actually make me sick, I was just mad at him cuz we weren't officially together anymore. He then suggested that we take a clean break and gradually stopped responding to my messages. This made me upset and then I decided I'd wait until the beginning of January to reach out to him again since I knew he would be on break, apologizing for my behavior. He responded a few times asking how I was doing and that he would love to still be friends. But then he stopped replying.
I sent him one last text a week later after that describing to him how I was confused about what he exactly wanted and he still hasn't responded back yet and it's been two days. He usually gets back to me in 1-2 days depending on how busy he is with school. So I'm very confused as to what he's trying to say. I straight up told him since the beginning I wanted him to be honest with me and now he's not even communicating with me.
How can I get him to regain interest and at least talk to me so I'm not continuously left in the dark about how he feels? I have realized the mistakes I've made and am continuously working on improving myself.
I totally agree with u
Coz this is so true
But the question is how can u know that this person wants u for real and itsnot that they are only getting emotional, and when does this period of not responding to them can stop?
Pay attention to their ACTIONS, not their words. What they do is the true testament of how they feel - Coach Adrian
My ex reached out yesterday after no contact for only a week, telling me he misses me and he's thinking about me a lot and it's hard to not have my presence. Then he told me he needed to think and that he was going to call me the evening if he got home early. He didn't. Today, nothing. I don't understand. I didn't push or anything he reached out and told me those things on his own, I thought we were finally going to talk and fix things, and today nothing. I'm upset and don't understand. I even sent him a message on snapchat and he didn't even bother to open it and I know he gets notified. So now I'm thinking if writes to me tomorrow, I'm going to do exactly what he did to me, ignore him for the whole day.
I wish I saw this video sooner I should have done this sooner. I totally overreacted and blew it
That's what I said. How does he NOT Remember ME. US. The positive things. And little things that got us through the HUGE things. It's crazy making! HE thouht of us a lot. But he learned to take it for granted and TRIED to see if he could Have BOTH worlds. That's why when he left he didnt LEAVE!
He started calling and texting like he was away over seas!! Coming in-and-out
I was so confused. I played the games. I'm sucked in again trying to understand, WHY? Hoping for accountability that he would finally see what hes doing to US. How his actions were causing destruction and it's causing me to lose TRUST and RESPECT. him.
He even went as far as talked about marriage and poured his feelings out after I was walking away after a year of bread crumbing and stringing me along.
I just finally decided I had to walk away because I wouldn't be FWB. I want a REAL relationship and commitment. That's what I thought HE want to but since he got a taste of some other woman out there. His Friend. He is with kept dealing with her and is with her Now.
WHAT WAS ALL THAT FOR??? MY mental anguish to Prove a point that you can't make me commit?? After being with you three years? NO...ALL I WANTED WAS RESPECT.
We have not seen each other. I have been doing me. But this started OUT as MISCHIEF when he left. For nothing GOOD was ever gonna come of it. HE was already seeing her while reconnecting with me. And was lying the whole time. He had this little game Planned. Not thinking it would blow up!
Asked me could get passed him sleeping with her, acting remorseful, and humble. He left me share feelings and kept calling! But he never stopped seeing/sleeping with her. She was a "friend" is his circle. So NO. He did this purposely Adrian.
He played on my Love for him. Knowing I cherished what we had and I would keep FIGHTING for it. He counted on that!
But when he started talking marriage and committment I watched him. And realized that was Bullshit too. And THATS was just too much!! Stooping that Low to keep me hooked?? FOR WHAT??
I realized it was all about HIM from the beginning. HE wanted to have POWER AND CONTROL. Which ONLY Proves HIS weakness. And I wasn't gonna step back like the little puppy he wanted and turn a BLIND to how he was living. And at the same time acting like he is still intrested in me.
You say it's normal I look at HOW he played ALL this. It was TRIFLING, DECEIVING, and very Manipulative. It wasn't necessary. And I have lost ALL TRUST AND RESPECT FOR HIM.
Now, After finding out he is with this chick officially. Hes trying to guilt me into saying I wasn't reaching out. You weak SOAB. You're the MAN! That I had OPTIONS. The only OPTION I had while he's dealing with someone else, saying he didn't want just ONE woman, not doing anything to prove me differently, talking to me like i was nothing to him...was to WALK AWAY. BUT he just tried to punish me for that. WOW.
JUST like a NARC.
Hey coach. Advice on how to proceed on the below would be much appreciated! My ex and I have been back on conversational terms again for the past 3 weeks, with things warming up slowly but steadily, and agreed we should catch up soon. On Sunday evening he invited me over for what was clearly a booty call so I said ‘I can’t, I’m already in bed and not sure it’s a great idea etc.’ Then the next day on Monday afternoon he asked if I wanted to meet up after work, I said I already had plans unfortunately but that I’d be free on Wednesday, which he agreed to. But then when Wednesday comes around... he bails and says he doesn’t think he’s able to make it. It could just be a simple case of not being able to make it, but his tone was slightly different and it felt more like he’d had a change of heart. What would you recommend next? To pull away for a while or to act like it’s no big deal and continue talking intermittently?
Amy
Hate to tell you this but he's not serious. Keep urself more scarce and let him come back - hopefully more assertive
I'm experiencing this now. We're broken up sense 2 months and we have a 4 year old daughter together. It feels like I'm in hell to be honest. My ex is driving me crazy but I play it cool. Doing a lot of meditation and working out. It helps some. Yesterday our daughter asked her mother "mom, you and dad are never going to live together ever?". Her mother then said with a hesitating voice "I - guess!". What drives me crazy is that everything feels like before. The only difference is that we sleep in separate rooms. The exs so confusing with the way she acts. The eye contact is strong, the smiles, playing with her hair when we talk. Some times touching my arm. She did stop when I told her It made me confused. A few days ago we went out to eat to this diner. We stood in line and her underarm touched mine several times. She didn't even pull away. Almost like she was testing me or something. During the dinner she said with a confused look in her eyes and soft voice "I have to tell my mother soon". You may have understood by now she broke up with me. Did I break down crying and ended up doing all the stuff on the "don't" list? Hell, yes. But I was able to thanks to many videos and meditation, to get a grip on my self. 2 months into it this now and things seems different. 7 people have told me who don't know each other she is confused. At the diner I had bought myself tea. She asked if it was tea water and I said yes. She then took the teabag and put in in the hot water saying "its not tea without the teabag in the hot water!". She even went and got me a glas so I could drink my soda from. I have to add she's also an introvert. When an introvert goes out of their way doing things for you, like fixing my cargo shorts because I have lost a lot of weight, they do care for you. Their action speaks louder than words. Why did she break up with me? Bickering on and off for almost 8 years. The last 5 years was bad according to her because I was sick. The health problem made me moody with mood-swings. We could never seem to agree or be on the same page. I'm now my way to recovery from the health condition. This has in return made her confused. She also has this outlook on life that bickering or arguing should never happen in a relationship. I have told her that will never happen. The relationship she wants is a fantasy. Bickering and disagreements will happen. She's 38 and I'm 45. She told me a few days ago she don't love me or hate me. "I rather be in between" she said to me. This hot and cold behavior from her is so draining. We have to stay in the house we rent for 2 more months if everything works out finding apartments. Our daughter is showing sign of stress. Something that bothers me. We have no close friends or family in this town to help us out. I would love to get help from someone but money is short. I spend a lot of time in UA-cam and google. I hope one day I can come back and say were back together. Love advice TV is a gift from God.
Well she told me to go find another women, and a woman to make me happy, but she still say she loves me, that I make her feel good
Thank you
Hi Coach! I love you all and your videos so much. It helped me a lot!! Will you please help me? I wish I could afford your one on coaching. My ex just told me how great her new boyfriend is and she's gonna fight for him till they are married and he's so worth it and what not. She texted me a whole lot saying about how great he is and how special he makes her feel all the time and she's confident and in love with him. I told her congratulations and that I respect her decision. And she claims she's over me and moved on. It's been just 20days since our breakup and a week of her new relationship. What should I do? I am trying to ignore her but I do reply when she knocks me or calls me. Let me tell you that I survived a suicide attempt for her and she didn't care a week ago when I got to know about her new relationship. But she contacted eventually and she forgave me for being extremely disrespectful as I insulted her infront of her new man out of rage. I messed up. Should I go full no contact and disappear or any brief suggestions? Please please please help me coach I'm going through a lot! I want her back! 😭
So my girlfriend of 10yrs told me she didn’t love me anymore, only as a friend. She said she didn’t want me completely out of her life either. She says there’s no other person in her life. That she needs to be alone right now. I packed and moved out. She says she fell out of love with the old me (took her for granted, she did the same) when we talk and txt I keep it light and always leave her smiling or floating by showing her I’ve changed my ways. You’d think we never broke up. She hasn’t said she loves me again, but she still texts me, and we do go for dinner some weekends. It just kills me because I still love her and I make sure she knows it. I get tempted to make a move on her, but I don’t want to force it. She can be so calm cool and collected, yet my heart breaks for her every time I see her. It’s only been a month…. Should I not jump to speak to her or see her when she asks? I feel like I’m in limbo… any advice is greatly appreciated (she’s 40 and I’m 39)
Hey Adriens.
This seems like a complicated situation. I know how frustrating it can be when you've been with someone for so long and they want to stay friends when you want something more. I highly suggest you book a coaching call since this is something we would like to get more details about and help you through this.
www.withmyexagain.com
I was in a 3 year and 5 month long distance relationship. He broke up with me because he said I was too controlling. Although he said during the break up and even after the break up that he still loves me, but that's not what he said to our common friend. He told her that he fell out of love and has already moved on. And at that time it was only less than a month when we broke up. He wanted to be friends and even though I know that it wasn't the best idea esp for me because I would always have this hope that we'll get back together I agreed with the friendship thing. Anyway that's how we started best friends. He tells me about their Christmas plans, about his patient, about the party that he's going to attend to (even if I didn't ask about it, he would still insert this party thing in our conversation) he even asked for my opinion about what to wear on the party. I noticed that I am not ok with this kind of set up. So I blocked him on messenger and didn't talk to him for like 2 weeks. And since I deactivated my fb acct I didn't need to block him there yet. Although I already in followed him on IG. But after 2 weeks I missed him terrible and contacted him and he replied as if nothing happened. It was my mistake that i contacted him again because during the no contact I was a little ok. I was able to eat well and sleep well but when we had contact I was a mess again. And thats when I decided that we can't be friends. Maybe just yet. So I sent him a long message telling him I'm sorry because I can't be his friend. That I get hurt seeing his posts tagging other girls with our term of endearment on the post. (I have reactivated my fb here thought that I was ready to see his fb posts). I knew that he did those things 1 to make me jealous 2 to annoy me or 3 to hurt me and inflict more pain. And it hurts to know that i felt that he did it because of the latter. In my long message I even told him I love him and what lead me to send that message was because I was so tired about him making me feel like I was his backup plan. So I blocked him both on fb and messenger and IG. And now I'm in this no contact rule for 23 days now and I am so proud of myself that I haven't contacted him nor unblock him. But our common friend's been telling me that he's posting song lyrics or songs on his social media. (Ashes-celine Dion, superman-five for fighting.. Etc) and I have to admit I can't help but to associate myself to his posts. Posting his personal thoughts on fb which is unnatural for him. My friend said that he deleted the pictures of his parents on his IG.My ex is the most stubborn and egoistic man in this entire universe. After the breakup, I couldn't recognize him anymore. He isn't the man I fell in love with. I don't know what to think anymore..
Thanks coach !
You're welcome.
Coach Adrian
My ex of 4 years (lived together for 3 and still do for now) says we are never getting back together but at times she wanted to be friends and then randomly says it wont happen. It put me on a roller coaster of emotions. We end up arguing at times but also watching stuff and laughing and talking. She does nice things for me like getting me breakfast or driving me to work. We even went to the beach together and it was nice. I felt kinda sad because I wanted more and when I got home I had a breakdown which mad eys argue the next day. She finally said she doesnt want me in her life anymore and has been real cold and ignoring me. Yesterday she wanted me to go with her to sell something and when I didnt act like I usually did and kept my distance, she started crying a bit.. then she took a bath and talked to family and now shes back to being cold and giving me the cold shoulder. Today we watched UA-cam and laughed again for a bit before she decided to go back into her room.... idk how to feel anymore. I want her back so badly but when I'm focusing on myself and make great progress, we do something and it ends in an argument and why we wont get back together. She even said something about "you want a second chance but your actions are saying a different thing" while crying yesterday.... I'm so confused. Shes going out more and hanging with dude friends more often now. I guess to get away from me..... I need help because I'm at the point where I'm getting sick and starting to hate being around her but also want to be close at the same time.
I hope everything works out for you hun, I feel your pain,I'm slowly working on myself. Just concentrate on yourself and learn to be happy alone maybe she'll start to get those feelings back once she sees you're not depending on her for your happiness. If in the end she doesn't get back with you then it's ok,you'll heal slowly and eventually you'll move on and start dating again. Good luck🙂
Wht does share a bond means when ur ex says she is clear that they are not going to be together family wont allow..bt they want to share bond...
They really are excellent mostly coach natalie
THANK U COACH ......NOW I HAVE A BETTER UNDERSTANDING WHY HE'S HOT AND COLD ALL THE TIME
Thank you so much
My ex and I broke up about 2 and a half months ago. She broke up with me. She said I didn’t spend enough time with her, which she was right. I fumbled around for about a month and then went into no contact. After about 3 weeks of no contact, she reached out to me by sending a picture of an outfit for my daughter(not hers, just mine). She bought it and then asked if I would be at the lake the next weekend. I met her at the lake since her parents house is next to my friends house I am at most weekends in the summer. We met up and spent the weekend together and had fun. She hugged me and told me she had a good time and we went our ways. We then went to eat the next day as well but she sent a message and said she thought we might be spending too much time together and I agreed and backed off. The next day she messaged me asking if I wanted to meet up and go eat again. The next weekend, we spent the whole day Saturday together doing things with my daughter. This past weekend(Memorial Day weekend) we were both off for 4 days. We spent the entire weekend together including me staying in her parents house with them instead of my friends. We had a great time together and she would come and sit in my lap and hug up to me on a regular basis throughout the weekend. She did say she wanted no kissing or sex right now. We went our separate ways yesterday and she text me once she was home last night to let me know she made it safely. She then said she had fun this weekend but felt we were doing too much. She said she wasn’t sure if was as in love with me as she was before. She said she’s afraid that if we get right back in relationship that things will just go back to the way they were and nothing will have changed. I told her I understood where she was coming from because I needed for some things to change too and didn’t want things to just go back to how they were. I am backing off again and letting her reach out first. We have plans for one night this week and again next Saturday. I am unsure what to do at this point. Any tips?
Well he’s never stopped contact with me since the break up , he checks my social media and occasionally likes it but still acts cold and guarded but will stop by for a catch up once a while.. it’s limbo
My ex after 10 months reached out a few days ago apologizing for what she did and seemed open to the possibility of getting back together. The last few days she has been texting me pretty frequently throughout the days, even though I don’t respond right away she usually does, she talks to me right until she goes to sleep. I asked her if she would want to call for a bit yesterday, was expecting her to say yes but she said no, although she did seem happy that I asked her. I didn’t react in a bad way at all, told her no problem and we continued our conversation. I’m just wondering why would she seem so interested over text yet not want to have any actual interactions? I don’t feel like I’ve come across as pushy or needy at all.
I was planning on asking her to call me again tonight, and give her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she was just really tired or didn’t feel like talking, but if she says no again I would go straight back into no contact. Does this seem like a good idea to get her back in the future?
My wife who is separated from me right now has told me that isn't about the kids we have nothing to talk about, but she is always venting to me about work and telling me certain Financial stuff about her. And sometimes she jokes and I joke with each other but she still says she's dead set on not coming back
Ex gf broke up with me in January
We were no contact until October. Things were great in the 1st month, but then she realized that if we get back together we would end up getting married (which is arguably true). As a result, she distanced herself and wants to pursue other relationships - wanting to find something better (afraid that I'll revert back to my old self)
Hi! Simple question: After no contact, when your ex is in hot and cold behaviour, even after a meeting for coffee, is that ok to just ask her "why are you in hot and cold? Sometimes you are so nice and sometimes you are so distance?" And if the answer is yes, is better when she is hot or cold? Thank you for you videos! Keep going!
How do I book a session with u or Alex ????
My ex of 2 years and I just recently reconnected after one month of no contact. I spoke to him and he gave me mixed signals. He told me "can't friends just hold hands?" but because I wanted to hold his hand, I did. Then we laughed and joked about a lot of things having a good time. My speculation is that he doesn't want the commitment because he is afraid I will grow possessive and clingy again.
We hugged for a long time, and he would do nothing but say he needed time to himself to find himself again. He said he wanted to "date as friends" and I'm not sure what to make of that. And then made it clear I was not to treat him like a boyfriend, but as a 'normal person'. He did tell me he would like to build it from the ground up. I tried to be fun around him, but then showed sadness, too which I know I shouldn't but it was hard.
He did tell me he could be a 'typical a******' and come upstairs to have his way with me and then come back the next day just to do it again but because he respects me as a human being he wouldn't. Sounds to me he doesn't know what he wants. We spent this evening holding hands and talking. He told me I'm not losing him, but he wants the freedom to do what he wants. I asked him why we couldn't do that when were together and he told me he didn't want to worry about anything but his own emotions..
When I told him good bye I slowly released my hand and said bye as I went into my front door. I told him "see you later" and he responded "I look forward to it". He waited, and I walked up the stairs. As I looked out my window upstairs he waved at me. Then, after driving in his car he slowly pulled away and waved again.
After that, he called me to tell me about fires
smoke in the hills to ask my neighbors about it
I told him I needed to let him go and he said okay.
Please help me LA TV. Can I get some insight?
Long story short...my husband of 19 years told me he doesn’t know what he wants anymore, then gets mad if I am not “readily available”, then says he’s not in love with me anymore, then wants to still be intimate....he travels a lot for work and acts rude on the phone to me now but then if he calls and I don’t answer he will text ok don’t answer or when I do call him back he says several times in the convo “well I called you several times but you didn’t answer”. I don’t acknowledge when he says that. I feel like we are in this ping pong game. I love him but I’m so tired of this. I told him to go file for divorce if that’s what he wants but he has not done that. It’s been 4 months. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m sad, mad, hurt, hopeful and just all over the place. He told our 16 year old he wants to come home but then he’s ugly to me. What in the hell is this? Why this back and forth business? What do I do? I want to work it out but I don’t know what to do at this point.
Yes my ex tells other people that he likes someone else but sometimes flirts with me hardcore. Sometimes acts like he wants me back sometimes not. He specifically said, “don’t like me, so when I leave the city we can still meet up” could this be because he’s leaving the city soon therefore not wanting to do the long distance thing? Should I do a letter in this case? Thanks your videos have been very helpful.
I'm constantly getting mixed signals.....from her saying "we're done, she doesn't want me" one moment. The hours later, will send pictures of her, everything from just a selfie on her way to work, to a selfie with added filters. She says she doesn't want " us" or have then energy to talk about us. But then with call/text wanting to vent about something or just to chat. Shell call/text to chat when she gets off work or settles in for the night. I'm trying to not be " so accommodating all the time. But it's hard bc I want to hear her voice and hear about her day...be the ear she wants to vent to
My ex recently broke up with me last week. 2 weeks ago and through the 10 months of being in a relationship he would always tell me he wanted a future with me and wants to be a role model for my son. We often talked about what he wanted and what I wanted and I actually thought we were on the same page since his actions followed up by his words. The reason for the breakup was because acted out on his emotions (according to him) the next day he acted like nothing and told me he still wanted to be in a relationship with me then tells me he wants to move to another state with his immediate family is and I obviously can’t due to me being a single mom so I told him that if he loves, he will understand. He says he wants me to move with him and my son but here’s the trick I don’t really know him that well to move and obviously I will need a serious commitment from him... which we talked about in the past (marriage). Long story short he tells me to give him space which I did, then on Monday of this week he tells me he loves me and really misses me... then goes on being bitter and on a jealous rant regarding a co worker of ours who I don’t associate with much but according to him I do. Then, he tells me he wants to talk things out and would like to reconcile. Then he goes mia for a day and who freaking knows if I’ll hear from him now. So I don’t know what the heck is going on. Help!
My ex and I sperated after he moved back home. After maybe 7 months I have moved near him for a great job opportunity.. he got me in contact with the right people to get the job. He bought me a gift for starting the new job. He has bought meals when we meet up. He offered his car when I drove home for the weekend. He is doing more then when we were in a relationship almost. He has a new gf but keeps doing these things for me. I'm trying to distance myself. Still not sure of the right move on my part.
My ex and I have broken up 3 times now. He broke up because we argued. I have worked on not relying on him for happiness as I felt I was only happy with him! He’s aware of my changes. He told me we shouldn’t talk as he misses me and wants things to work but doesn’t think we should get back together. Then 2 days later he gets drunk and calls me and texts me saying he is finding everything hard and negative and was wondering how I was... now today I asked “how is the hangover” and he said “not good aha, going out tonight too” and then he blanked my response “oh nice what you doing”. I don’t know what to do or what he wants and I really want things to work for us.
My ex started to date a new girl two months after out breakup. I don't know if they are still together but I assume that's how it is since I haven't heard of them breaking up. During that time I've been trying to be on friendly terms with him. He never contacts me first unless it is something important but he always seems way to eager to help me when I ask him. When he is at my place for some reason (to help me with my class and so on) he always tries to find an excuse to stay a little longer. And when we are alone, the connection between us feels great, so I'd say that there is still chemistry between us. But I noticed that after our fun time together he starts to pull back; he can leave me on read, reply in one word and behave as cold as ice in general. Can it also be considered as mixed messages or hot and cold behavior? Because it really confuses me, that's for sure
That is definitely hot and cold behavior - Coach Adrian