Drug Addiction: Shooting Heroin For The First Time
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- Опубліковано 10 бер 2024
- Every heroin addict can remember the first time they used heroin. Our first time is often the most memorable because we never experience that same feeling again. Our lives become a mission to chase that first high we got. I also touch on the selfishness of drug addiction, the impact it's had on loved ones, and where I'm at today.
#addiction #raw #storytime #recovery
When you can quit you don't wanna, when you wanna quit you can't. Such is the riddle
I worked with a recovering heroine addict many years ago and he said this: "Every single moment of every single day, of every week, of every month, of every year...EVERY SECOND I have to concentrate on stopping myself from going and getting high. I want to get high every moment of every day. Even talking to you right now, I want to go get high. It's like a spring that is always wound as tight as it could be and I have hold on tight because if I let go for even one second I will go get high." I remember thinking - DAMN. WHAT? How can you live like that?
In the beginning, I can totally relate to that. The hardest part is getting past that first year because its like living life for the first time. Sensory overload when we are used to being numb, just dealing with normal problems become difficult. The wait is so worth it, I hope he's alright and still on the straight and narrow, thanks so much for your support and engagement!
How can you not? “Live like that.”
You cant
Yea man. Like quiting dip. Soo many triggers that get that urge.
It's rough for sure but just keep going and over time it will be more manageable than yesterday and keep at it... You can get through it.
I never shot heroin but I did smoke it. The first time I hit that tar I got a super warm sensation start from my waste and go up to my head and down to my toes. It was like a warm blanket was tossed on me. Been clean for just under 2 years now.
in high school years ago a friend got some weed and that is what it felt like. It was the best weed we ever had and years later we all said that was the best high we ever had. I stayed away from H because of that feeling.
@@rockpadstudiosweed? I don’t understand? What’s that got to do with anything? You simply can’t compare weed and heroin …
@@scandicdream because we all agreed it was laced with heroin. We had all tried LSD, Coke, PCP, many weed strains and even years later (meth etc.) we all came to the conclusion it was H. I stayed away from it because of that feeling which was most likely way less than injecting it. There are times even after 40 years, I still think about how good that felt. I wanted a professional career over drugs so I stopping using them for the last 30 years other than weed once and a while. Now that MN has legalized it I'm enjoying it again.
Get back on it. Sounds banging
@@rsturbo4018 if I could afford to use H and make sure that what I was getting was pure and not laced with fentanyl then I would since I dont end up going all crazy like alot of users do. I do end up spending too much money on it and that is the main reason I stopped as well as the fentanyl that was being pushed in the heroin. I like h but I would prefer not to die from a fentanyl overdose. What alot of people dont know is that its really easy to make your own. Just grow and harvest poppies for their opium and boom you can make it. Lol.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporessss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporessss
Thanks for going into detail as to how it feels to take heroin. I lost my son from a fent overdose in 2018. He was only 21. I always had a hard time understanding why he chose that route. He had no trauma, had a lot of friends, was a third yr engineering student. It seemed like he had it all..we were not unapproachable parents. We were loving and supportive. Our lives blew up the day he died
I'm really sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, a good portion of us don't make it and that's a parents worst nightmare. My heart goes out to you and I pray that you can still find meaning in life. I can't imagine what you're going through but I have lost many to addiction. So much love and support from me ♥
@@RecoveryTalk thank you! Best Wishes for a full life!
My Heart goes out to you 💔
Sorry for your loss
I never done drugs in my life - but yet, listening to you gave me a new perspective on drug addiction... And it is a scary one.
You're an amazing story teller. Keep doing it!
I appreciate that, thank you.
Thank you for being so honest and sharing your story. I wish you all the best in your recovery
One day clean 😢 It hurts so bad to be clean. I don't want to be addicted anymore 😔
Hey, you can do this! I'm super proud of you, you're going to be emotional at first, feelings of lonliness, hopelessness, don't be fooled by it all. It's your brain cleaning its self up, its YOU coming back to reality. You've got this...♥
@@RecoveryTalk Thank you for the support. It means so much. Sadly I rellapsed 😔😢😭I just want to be clean
@@KrissyBkack Krissy, be careful please. Believe me, I know how tough it is to get clean. Theres a part of me that wishes I can help but ultimately you and I both know it has to come from you. If you have the resources to go get yourself into treatment, do it while you're feeling good - just force yourself to go...consider MAT options like suboxone, subutex though I'm not a dr and you should def speak to one before taking anything. I'll be praying for you.
@@RecoveryTalk Sadly where I live there is no resources to help. 😔I have to do this on my own. It makes me feel alone. I'm trying to keep My head up I did my last little bit I had a while ago and thats it. For one I can't afford it. Two I don't want to overdose. I can't take using anymore. It's slowly killing my body. Thank you again for taking time to respond to me. Keep me in your prayers.
@@KrissyBkack Keep trying! Eventually you will succeed!! Rooting for you!!!
A real man is what i see with a lot of potential and a good heart, be strong buddy
Thanks for your honesty. Power to you and what ever you do from now on.
I love your honesty brother. What most lack in the world, not only addicts. ❤
what an articulate guy. so well said and so well framed. i hope he is well. more people...way more people need to see this to understand the addicts they hear about often are people they would care about, if they only knew them. they aren't objects.
Can see the pain on your face. I’ve been addicted to opioids since I turned 19 and I’m 26 now. Kicked it off and got heartbroken and went right back to it. Been on it for 5 years straight now, I’m hoping and praying I get off it permanently before I’m 30. It’s hard to imagine a life without it. Wishing you the best in your recovery
I’m so glad I haven’t touched any hard drugs in 2 weeks
Brother trust me u still have a long process 2 weeks is nothing come back here in 2 years at lest .
U are in the right path but trust me the path is really scary and full of mountain to climb .
Keep going but I can say that what helps me is litteraly run away form my past , change everything, say goodbye to all
This friend who you think are friends but they are not .
Keep fighting .
@@Gabbbb410 what drug did u take???
In 2 weeks 😂😂
2 weeks is 2 weeks, that’s 14 days or hopefully now 28. Be proud of yourself, getting sober isn’t easy
The smile while explaining it says it all. Sad
Yea. I felt that
Thank you for your story
you're a great storyteller. love the pauses in between
Daaaamn this was so well spoken. And nothing was held back it feels probably. This story could be way longer. Never did hero but i can imagine being stuck for ever
Beautifully spoken
I shot heroin and then fentynal was the only thing around so I got dependent on it, after heroin, for 19 years. Heroin isn't around anymore. Collapsed all my veins after the first 4 years then skin popped and muscled. Still ha e over 80 healed holes as a nasty reminder. Went through everything a junkbox can go through. Was on subs 5 years. Been on methadone for 12 years since 2012. Down to 50 mgs from 120 mgs. Took me 9 months. Now getting sick on the taper. I want to be off this garbage methadone. Stopped doing cocaine and weed on June 4th 2009. Quit smoking cigarettes on October 9th 2009. Quit drinking arpril 7th 2021. Had fatty liver and was drinking a fifth a day. The dts were bad. Stopped shooting fent on April 21st 2023. Xzylazine was in the scamble. Was sick for 1 month, even on methadone . Now tapering off methadone. The only thing im dependent on now is the methadone, and coffee. Im also on 2 meds for psoriasis and psoriasitic arthritis.
this description is just what i felt like when i did it years ago , it is so true you do anything to get more , it was what i was looking for or so I thought , in the end I got sick of needing to get some everyday just to function , i been free of it for 12 years now but once you had that feeling it stays with you for the rest of your life , and that is the hard part because there is nothing like it , I will never go back to it but its always there , sometimes I did mix it with speed and that was hell of a ride when you feel it going in to your blood and you feel that warm hug , but i would say never ever do it don't let it in as once its there it with you for life and it will mess your life up completely and will kill you in the end
Its a game that cannot be won, theres no boss at the end of it, no saving princess peach, you're right. It will only lead us to be 6 feet under. Thanks for sharing a part of your story 🫂
@@RecoveryTalk no problem at all , if it may help others I am always happy to talk about it , If it stops someone from ever get to that pit of hell that we have both been well I would shout it all from the roof tops if needed , thanks for your kinds words
Poor guy. I have never used drugs, but I always wondered how someone could become addicted after just one time. It sounds like they're not addicted after the first time, but need to keep chasing the high - and then the addiction follows. This is such a sad story - I only wish the best for all of you.
Very powerful message
I've been an iv heroin user for close to 30 years. All the people I started with have died long ago and I consider them the lucky ones. All I can say is don't ever ever do it that first time.
Same! 1995. I should be dead. You must have people that give a f*ck or you wouldn't be here.
That’s sad, I don’t mean this in a mean way, but that’s a complete waste of life, just another statistic
The best time to quit was 30 years ago and never even begin to use, as you say. The next-best time is today.
You can quit, friend. If you want, seek help, treatment and support. You can do it, whether 10, 20 or 30 years on.
As tough as it is, it could be worse - worse substances, worse outcomes... As long as you're alive, you can change. You never know what tomorrow may bring...
Good luck, try to stay safe and healthy. If you ever decide 30 years was enough, please go seek help and support.
Impressive to still have working veins, after 30 years? Or do you muscle it?
This is very powerful
I was never afraid of trying drugs, tried dope twice and it just felt dizzy and warm, like motion sickness in the beach during vacation- same feeling after spinning for some time. I felt unnaturally helplessly relaxed for no reason, ended up totally hating it forever.
When you dont want to be addicted but dont know how to be clean...
There are programs that show you how to get clean.. I didn't know how to get clean or be cleaned and want to be clean either. I'm scared to death on living life on life's terms.. go get arrested and ask for a drug program tell them you're a junkie and you need help.. sad you have to go that route but that's what I did and it worked.. you have to ask for help.. wish you the best... Turn off the smack and dope for 15 years. You can to..
Denial
@@billgoforth7426here take this 🏆for the dumbest comment. His statement has nothing to do with denial
Thanks for setting me straight 😁 @@bryanmacdonald7430
For 51 years of my life I have covered up my feelings, sober 8 years now and it's so hard to deal with my feelings, BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Giving back seems to help the most, but still yes in the back of my mind it keeps calling me. Just being honest, any one who says it's easy hasn't been to the gates of hell and back like me.................
Its one of the hardest things I've ever been through. Just getting clean is hard enough but learning how to re-live life without all the crap we are used to is the part I find to be the hardest. We have to stop and give ourselves credit sometimes and look back at where we were, where we are now. I appreciate your support and im proud of you man :)
Right after the moment he says 'i have been a selfish prick' he feels that this statement is true for him and the sadness kicks in. Damn, painful.
Been there and yes, that first hit, you just know you're in trouble.
Sad ! Don`t do drugs ! Live is so much more. I got fetanyl in hospital, that feeling was someting, but i don`t go to drugs. Stay safe....
I love your honesty and your explanation of herion how it feells......I say it feels like when you get up from bed in the morning in a winter time and take a freshly heat tumbled cover and wrap in around it!!.....That's hoew heroin feels like!!!!.......Like being wraped in a hot blanket!!
Stay strong brother🫶🙏
My first time using heroin itvtook my breath away. A wave of euphoria and warmth. Total content and i never looked back. 27 years hardly any clean time. Smoked for many years but as soon as i hit it. Yeah its a lost cause for a long time.
It's an urban myth you never experience the same feeling again. The first time isn't even the best time because you will puke
I can’t imagine making that decision to shoot that drug up for the first time! Everyone has seen what heroin does to people!! Why would anyone want to willingly take the first step to become a junkie? CRAZY!! 💉 😈 I Pray 🙏 You Stay Clean! Thanks For The Video & Your Honesty.
I stick to weed once in a while, i dont drink alcohol any, quit 2 months ago
Sucks hearing this. If we only knew how lucky we are to even be alive. We could do so much more if we just stopped making excuses. I understand though. I do blow every now and then but luckily I can always quit. But that week long bender is a week a just wasted.
I started when I was 17 and wasted most of my 20. I stopped back in 2018. It really does suck especially fentanyl. I was arrested so often and started using meth too. I found first girlfriend in AA and we lived together. She relapsed then died I didn’t go back to dope but man that hurt.
I'm sorry mate, you keep strong though.
i know
we may try once what really feel
8 months in rehab. One week after I go out I shot heroin. Yesterday I od'd.
Im glad that you survived to be able to make this comment. There’s a reason you’re still here.
Iam glad you quit !!! You are a strong person !!
idk what to do. im a middle aged woman who never did any drugs until i turned 42, and i started clubbing, and eating ecstasy..someone gave me perocet to sort of come down after the night was over...now? im severely addicted to pain pills, which i guess isnt the same as heroin, but the withdrawals are scary...ive done some very shameful things even for these damn pills...i want help, but i dont know what to do. this is all so confusing and scary to me. :(
opiates are sneaky like that. They rewire your brain to think that this is what you need in order for everything to be ok. When you don't have them, nothing feels right. I don't mean for this to sound like such a generic response, you can google treatment centers in your area that are willing to work with your health insurance. Sometimes, some people, all they need is detox to hit the reset button to get back on track. I have faith that you can overcome it. It's not impossible though it seems like it is. Eventually, without it, those same good feelings, enjoyment in life - comes back. My heart goes out to you.
@@RecoveryTalk it sucks, because im more about avoiding the sick feeling at this point...im out of my depression, and im pretty happy...sometimes i even forget to take the damn things, until they remind me in the worst way possible :/ i regret ever doing this. thank you for your reply, you described it perfectly!!
Forever chasing the dragon 🐉
1:24 unintentionally hilarious but so true
seeing this while in manchester wtf 😭
It's not herion anymore.
True - super hard to find now
My crack and heroin is always clean and sooo good.
Keep talking😢❤
I appreciate the support 🙂
One question for someone foreigner... Why the US and North America, in general, are so fond of opiates? What happens in your part of the globe is impressive and scary!!!
I think because of the availability. Opiates are constantly funneled in over the southern border
The pharmaceutical industry promoted these drugs heavily. Paid doctors to subscribe etc.
Fuck that
Yeah keep convincing yourself that your life is manageable.. trust me it will become unmanageable soon er.. then later.. when you're every waking thought of your existence is thinking of how you're going to get your next fixed or get well.. your life is not manageable..
When ur thinking about trying and shooting for the first time and this video comes up. wtf
Stop hanging with those people
He's high
Prove it
@@RecoveryTalk That or long term damage. Prove it? You gotta be high to try.
Of course it was a honda civic.
Yo , u bragging or complaining ? Y do u think its called DOPE 😕
Black pitch on a silver screen
Akorát jsem si pichnul… proto jsem se byl projít! Kupoval jsem kálo 😂😂😂
I'm pretty sure that microphone is supposed to clip onto the person's shirt.
It totally is 😅
There is nothing wrong with holding the microphone!! It’s perfectly ok! Stop being critical of him!! 🎤 ⭐️
🫂🫂🫂🫂
Talk actually about recovery and how to change.
I appreciate your feedback
@@RecoveryTalk everyone knows how to get high but very few know how to change. In the old days very few people had tattoos. Now everyone has them. That’s how drugs are now. People have always been using but now it’s in the open. Everyone knows a junky or someone who’s died from the illness. How many people know someone who has changed and how they did it? That I think would be something people would be interested to know about. We don’t decide how we react to drugs. We don’t decide how we react to sobriety either. And if you have addiction it’s less about the drugs and more about having a rough time just living free. Where the reference point is life and what we can bring to it.
Yeah opiates are no joke. Trust me, to anyone who may read this you don't want to open that door. Some doors should just never be opened. That feeling is insane it will instantly change your outlook on life. In seconds you've permanently alternated your life often times for the worst. I've been addicted to pain meds and opiates for over 13 years I've tried so many times to quit and I always went back knowing the exact outcome. I've opted to just stay on suboxone until my life is more established, but tbh I'm scared that I may go back.
Thats more or less the exact length of time I've been using them. I've had to resort to just staying on a low dose of subs to allow me to even be a functioning human being. You're absolutely right - I hope for your sake - you don't go back. I know what that obsession feels like and it does pass IF you do something to take your mind off of it...easier said than done though 100%. Be safe my man.
you nailed it. Painkillers are evil man...
Bro your just a dope fiend
Damn…my whole life I thought I was a pirate…thx for the clarification 💯
@@RecoveryTalk I really hope you weren't being sarcastic man this isn't a game you have to get clean immediately before all is lost. Good luck! Peace.
@@Jaccd before all is lost? I’ve already lost everything…this is the part where I’ve now been clean for a good chunk of time and have been slowly getting everything back. Don’t think you caught that part but that’s ok.
Sorry but can’t have any sympathy for junkies, you made the choice no one forced you.
😂
Unless most commonly you become addicted through medical prescription.
A real man never quits what he loves in this life he learns to moderate.
Once you decide to puncture your skin,you have lost all respect for yourself!
temporarily