Now Zagreus might accidentally ghost you, but lets be honest, if he texted you back after ghosting you for two days with "I'm sorry I didn't respond, I was trying to fight my way our of Hades to reunite with my long lost biological mother" That'd turn that con into a pro real quick, honestly.
A little bit about Nyx: she has like 10 biological kids that appear or are mentioned IN-GAME. An enormous amount of abstract concepts and natural forces were ascribed by various authors to her brood, so there are like dozens more that we simply haven't seen or heard of.
About Cerberus, I'm 99% sure there's a line in game about how Head Gamma (the one on Cerberus' right, which is always on the floor in the House) doesn't like pets as much as Heads Alpha and Beta. Did I breathe a sigh of relief when I got that voice line? Yes. Because I felt very bad that you can only pet two of the heads. Alternatively, if I'm remembering wrong and you only pet the one head, the voice line says that heads Beta AND Gamma don't like pets, i.e. the game goes out of its way to explain that Cerberus being pet on only one (or two) head is the best outcome for him which means that one con point is kind of moot.
@@BeesBox9476 STOP that’s so kind, BDG is the goat of staggeringly unhinged but well developed ramblings 😭😭 and I very genuinely listen to his halloween covers on a regular basis because how are they so good ???
To defend Theseus slightly, my dude literally entered heaven, found out that the "monster" he killed was in Erebus, and then kicked up such a fuss about it that Hades let Asterius live in Elysium. Achilles didn't even manage that. Theseus is an absolute bro to his boyfriend---i mean friend. But he also treats everyone else (or at least Zag) like shit so it probably means his smoochabilty doesn't really go up, but still haha.
I think Hypnos would probably give the best comfort hugs because he could wrap you up in that fluffy cloak/coat/quilt thing he has on him 24/7. I could see him just wrapping the both of you in it to hug you. Personally, I think that outweighs any crimes he may or may not have committed. If you couldn't tell I love the lil' guy he's why I played the game-
40:36 She 100% agrees with your house my fire. Ares: Sister, why is the future vice president's house burnt down? Athena: I helped light it on fire. Ares: ... As you should.
@@yourboyneedsahobby OMG STOP I LOVE THAT MOVIE SM (*even if meg's body made me hate mine for a hot sec lmao disneys wild with their designs sometimes*)
@@bibliobibuli1 lol her design team was really like "you think the earlier characters were unrealistic? we'll show you unrealistic!" but personality wise, she's the best
Omggg this popped up and it’s right down my alley!! So ready to sit and watch your vid 🍿/gen Only in the first couple of mins. But if you are interested in Greek mythology - would recommend Hadestown!!! It’s my fave musical on the story of Orpheus and Eurydice and the music is like folksy/jazzy vibes
@@Owlbear26 I just listened to Wait For Me for the first time a few weeks ago and that’s next on my list! I can already feel my wicked phase coming back in 😭
me peer reviewing this ultimately inconsequential rating with so many of my own already hard and fast opinions on this topic: correct, correct, WRONG????, correct, yeah ok i can see it, HUH?, soooooooo true bestiee
This is fantastic I’ve been hoping someone would do something like this it's been years you'd think it would've happened already 😭😭 Edit: Hypnos is my favorite but like you're totally right that man is wanted for tax evasion but like money isn't real the economy is all fake anyways 12/10 bc I'm devastated you can't romance him 💔
I don’t think I’ve ever subscribed this fast after a single video, this game is one of my hyperfixations and unhinged powerpoint presentations are my favourite genre of video *chef’s kiss*
@@Vlogwithathought1278 I did like the little boat ride that I got, that was quite fun. My issue is with boat people in general, their boat is like 93% of their personality 😂
My guy Thanatos needs a new haircut, get rid of that scary McDonald’s hairline 🙏 + Help I thought Orpheus was some kind of strange witch aunt who appears randomly and says random crap
FINALLY SOME GOOD FOOD!! Also I have not played a single pixel of Hades yet (it's on the list tho) but when I saw the designs for orpheus I just imagined his lesbian lookin self shoving his way down to Hades and playing the songs from Hadestown😭😭😭✨️✨️✨️
Trails of Apollo and sun and the star in particular, Apollo/Lester is the best dramatic dramaqueen as he gets turned mortal and Will and Nico descending into the underworld as a couple is lovely
@ I showed my friend what you said, saying “you should definitely read it now”. He playfully ignored me because the Hamilton phase is a bit too strong right now. He’s the one who got me tsoa for my birthday, but has no interest in reading it 😭
@@yourboyneedsahobby He may play hades. I've convinced him and he's half greek so someone finally understands my greek mythology rants. He refuses to listen to epic until its all fully released though :(
THE VIDEO TO END ALL VIDEOS!!!!!! This was so incredibly entertaining and honestly the more I watch your unhinged ramblings about greek mythology the more I’m like “wait... are we like the same person???” (wait that sounds kinda parasocial lmao oops) that comment about your pinterest being nothing but thanzag and patrochilles is literally SO ME FR 😭😭😭
@@Spineless-Lobster YAA so glad you liked it! I’m lowkey convinced (in a non-conspiracy theory way) that algorithms are circling back around and just molding a bunch of people into the same personality 😭 But thanzag and patrochilles all the way haha
There's just one thing, you assumed the standpoint of us being Zagreus, while also rating Zagreus. Like I know she's STILL too good for me but I wanna smooch Artemis 💜🏹
First of all, absolute perfection of a vid, watched it together with my gf and had our asses laughed off, positively :> As a second lil note, Ares isn't in a relationship in Hades. Aphrodite is married to Hephaestus, and in Hades 2, it's said clear that she dislikes cheating, very much unlike to her canonical counterpart ahem-ahem. And just saying, Aph and Heph are super sweet to one another and I adore them. Sooo it's an extra +1 point to my boy Ares! >:3
@yourboyneedsahobby This isn't much of a spoiler, just one piece of dialogue you can randomly get from Aph in H2, but she says that one reason she loves Hephaestus so much is because he's the only one who never tried to cheat on her, and I was like bruh 💀
@@Farah-vq5lw haha usually it seems like both aphrodite and hephaestus are unwilling participants in that marriage and he’s trying to get out of it asap
@@yourboyneedsahobby Historically speaking nobody knows how or why they got married, later writing paints their marriage as unwanted by at least Aphrodite either Hephaestus asked for a wife, or Aphrodite specifically as a bargain for freeing Hera or Zeus married them forcibly so nobody fights over Aphrodite, those later writings mainly comes from the people not believing the goddess of beauty would marry Hephaestus ( he's not actually ugly just has a disability those were a mark of shame back then especially for a god) they were basically ableist
Personal ratings: Zag, 8/10: cool dude all round, reminds me of myself if i was a cool dude and not an idiot. Nyx, 8/10: a bit scary but she seems nice. Does have previous relationships, but seems like she has her life together. Chaos, 7/10: even scarier, i like the aesthetic though. He probably has many cool stories to share with me, great since i'm a knowlage hog. Meg, 6/10: not really my type but not bad by any means. I will have to ask her to put the whip down and i'm unsure she'd okay with that. Alecto, 3/10: she is definately not gonna put the whip down. Tsiphone, 4/10: less agressive than alecto, but seems a bit more dehydrated, always remain hydrated. Thanotos, 7,5/10: reminds me too much of myself if i was cool. Hot, but i dont think i have anything new to offer in the dynamic. Hypnos, 8,5/10: love this dude, but he desperately needs some spinage. He can rid me of my sleep deprevation so thats a big plus. Charon, 6/10: not conventionally attractive, but he seems like someone to respect your time and wants. Hades, 5/10: would need to approach me bc i would be far too scared. He is however, very loyal and that's a quality i value greatly. Persephone, 7/10: overal very nice but im not sure i can provide anything she would want out of a partner. Demeter, 6/10: a bit old looking but she seems confident, not sure if i would like her daughter to look older than me tho. Dionysus, 4/10: i'm not sure if i could maintian longterm with him but i would be down for a dinner when he's finally sobered up. I dont drink however, so thats gonna doc some points. Hermes, 7.5/10: seems like he doesnt have much free time, but his personality seems charming. Definately gonna need to be a stay at home. Ares: 9/10: respects women, cant say that for most of these mf's, also he's a big, tall powerbottom which i can relate to. Aphrodite, 8/10: not a guarantee that i survive a night with her, but i reckon its worth the risk to some degree. Artemis 10/10: if dating was a videogame i would be playing bloodborne, luckily, i am a masochist. I have this profiel picture for a reason. Athena, 4/10: also very hard to get, but i only think about this character to a heathy degree so she isnt gonna make it higher up than this. Poseidon, 5/10: a zeus wannabe so thats not well on the concent front, but he seems redeemable to some point so i cant put him lower in good faith. Zeus 2/10: i'm not hot so im probably not on the victim list, but im not comfortable being with anyone with a list like that. "AND THEN ALONG CAME ZEUS" is a meme for a good reason. Sisyphus, 8/10: big doofus with a cool rock, whay more could you want. Orpheus, 6/10: i like the music but i dont think i could be good enough at it to impress him. Euridice, 9/10: shes made from wood sure, but otherwise she's basically perfect so im not mad about it. Skelly, 3/10: do not trust him, dont know why, but i dont. Dusa, 9/10: just a senient head, still somehow acts more responsably than anyone i know. I dont think a single person dislikes this goober, and if there is, there wont be when im done with em. Achilles, 7/10: he's nice and seems loyal, no big negatives but im not into his vibe for some reason. Patroclus, 6/10: achillies, but sad, no notes. Theseus, 3/10: not hopeless but i dont think fixing him is worth the effort. Supportive shade, 100000/10: THATS WHY HES THE GOAT! THE GOAT!!!
@@Mr.Starlight_gaming going for Artemis is absolutely skipping the tutorial and going straight to expert mode 😭 also the description for Zag had me dying, same bud
Fun fact: my first experience with dark souls was my dad getting stuck on an Endgame boss, giving me the controller, and leaving me alone for 3 hours. I learned the game on the fly and eventually beat it. Im very much used to it.
@@chebikitty5566 I’m actively working on them both right now, I want that throuple 😂 Also that totally makes sense about the birds, they’re just round little guys
So, like, I'm a furry, right. So I gotta say on Cerberus, um, that is a dog. And this isn't a Scooby Doo situation Cerberus is not a super smart dog, or a talking dog, or an anthropomorphic dog; he is a three headed dumb of ass good boy of great size. And this means he cannot consent. I mean if Cerberus decides today that you are going to be licked I don't think you get to say no - again very large - but ethically you should not ever be trying to smooch him. 0/10 for the good boy on smoochability I would say.
If you looked at the original Greek Pantheon, Zeus and Poseidon are absolutely un-smoochable with how horrible of people they are! ...Especially Zeus, the all-powerful unfaithful serial cheater, r😳pist, p🤐😨o and bestiality lover.
@@yourboyneedsahobby Yeah. Hades, despite being overbearing and controlling, at least in the Pantheon wasn't evil...at least he kept to himself most of the time and was a faithful husband. His foul mood probably is just a lingering trait he inherited from the abuse Chronos gave him.
another con for Persephone that only applies to me is that she looks almost exactly like my mom, only difference is that my mom has very short hair and is not the goddess of spring (unless she is and i haven't been told) Edit: ALSO! Dusa is canonically asexual!!
@@_lucifersimp HHAAA that is absolutely fair and congrats to your mom 😂 also super cool about Dusa! I definitely thought she was shyly flirting with zag the whole time but also what do I know 😭
@@yourboyneedsahobby actually this might be a spoiler but dusa has a HUGE crush on zagreus and you can be in a relationship with her! she asks if you want to be with her even though she is not interested in smooching you (or doing more) and she wont be mad if you say no! i love her so much
Zag is equally bisexual regardless of whether you pick Meg or Than (or both). I don't consider Meg the "less gay choice" (especially since I'm a bi woman and gunned to romance her first because *I* wanted to smooch her).
@@governor_explosion NO NOT AT ALL!!! I totally agree with you and if anything am dunking on myself, I’m 100% here for the phenomenal Bi representation and genuinely love all three of the characters 😊
I'm going to be completely blunt, another con on Orpheus's part: he looks like an emo clown. Keeping in mind I've never played the game before, never seen the art. But if someone looking like an emo clown is the first thought, that's a con.
Sisyphus will never be in the smooch category for me because of the fact that he kidnapped Than and locked him in a trunk for who knows how long! No way am I betraying my boyfriend for his stalker!
@@PaintSplashProductions lol fair but if anything Than did break into his house to kill him, so if anything he seems more the stalker in that situation 😂
take a drink of water every time I say "little guy" and you're be hydrated off your @ss 😵💫😵💫
Please! Spare some mercy🌧
Spare us
Also toastieglow makes the best hades animatics
@ they make the best anything animatics!!! I’m so invested in their Escape from Divinity series
Now Zagreus might accidentally ghost you, but lets be honest, if he texted you back after ghosting you for two days with "I'm sorry I didn't respond, I was trying to fight my way our of Hades to reunite with my long lost biological mother"
That'd turn that con into a pro real quick, honestly.
@@thedocblock6421 the fact that he apologized and owned up to his mistakes to both Meg and Than is a huge plus, gotta love character development
I NEED an updated version based on the personalities in Hades 2, especially for the Olympians omg please
20:12 HYPNOS PUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE OF HADES ASIDE FROM HIS MOM TO SLEEP. In terms of power hes probably on par with Hades if not above
ok ya know what you're right, he's got the talent just no ambition most of the time, which is fair 😂
Charon cons: he owns a boat! That’s so funny to me
I'd argue that Tisiphone is very mentally stable. It's just stabilized on insanity
THE IMMEDIATE 10/10 FOR DIONYSUS IS SO REAL
also Hypnos appreciation I cheer!!!!
@@-hypnos-2273 just calling it like it is 😂
You’ve gotta give Zeus’ beard like. One point because of how it turns into clouds at the bottom. Truly one of my favorite character design details
@@CamTheGalaxy the beard does have a sick design absolutely, if only it weren’t attached to the actual garbage that is zeus
A little bit about Nyx: she has like 10 biological kids that appear or are mentioned IN-GAME. An enormous amount of abstract concepts and natural forces were ascribed by various authors to her brood, so there are like dozens more that we simply haven't seen or heard of.
She's also canonically a Grandma! Than mentions that Eris has kids (yes that Eris)
About Cerberus, I'm 99% sure there's a line in game about how Head Gamma (the one on Cerberus' right, which is always on the floor in the House) doesn't like pets as much as Heads Alpha and Beta. Did I breathe a sigh of relief when I got that voice line? Yes. Because I felt very bad that you can only pet two of the heads. Alternatively, if I'm remembering wrong and you only pet the one head, the voice line says that heads Beta AND Gamma don't like pets, i.e. the game goes out of its way to explain that Cerberus being pet on only one (or two) head is the best outcome for him which means that one con point is kind of moot.
@@dwell7315 ooh yeah I think you’re right on that one actually, if it’s just Alpha then I’m all in on monster Clifford
Supportive shade is just that Lady Gaga thing about 100 people in a room and 99 dont believe in you, and i love them for it...
Honestly this video has such Brian David Gilbert energy and I’m here for it
@@BeesBox9476 STOP that’s so kind, BDG is the goat of staggeringly unhinged but well developed ramblings 😭😭 and I very genuinely listen to his halloween covers on a regular basis because how are they so good ???
To defend Theseus slightly, my dude literally entered heaven, found out that the "monster" he killed was in Erebus, and then kicked up such a fuss about it that Hades let Asterius live in Elysium. Achilles didn't even manage that.
Theseus is an absolute bro to his boyfriend---i mean friend. But he also treats everyone else (or at least Zag) like shit so it probably means his smoochabilty doesn't really go up, but still haha.
@@gracec8c he does love his totally platonic friend in a super straight way, like bros 🥰🥰
@@yourboyneedsahobby situationship goals
I think Hypnos would probably give the best comfort hugs because he could wrap you up in that fluffy cloak/coat/quilt thing he has on him 24/7. I could see him just wrapping the both of you in it to hug you. Personally, I think that outweighs any crimes he may or may not have committed.
If you couldn't tell I love the lil' guy he's why I played the game-
@@sinfulpuritan3430 I would love to see this argument brought before a court 😂😂
i’m so sorry but i looked at the thumbnail without my glasses and thought you were timothee chalamet
@@exhaustedhomo7059 see I knew I would have won that contest, that’s why I didn’t compete 😂😂
Yes the iconic projector setup is back!!!
I had to save it for something good haha
„Thanatos will show up when he wants, do whatever he wants and leave“ So, he’s basically a cat. I just realized 😂
@@Griffinclaw7 the emo persona still tracks with this too 😂
If Thanatos is not 1 I riot
nothing less for the hot topic king 💀
Is it just me or is Hypnos giving Telemachus vibes like the first 5 seconds of knowing him
@@ElenaHicks-y3p haha he’s like telemachus as a worry-free stoner
YOU HAVE FED US WITH AN HR LONG VIDEO AHHHH
Also YES CONSENT HAS STIPULATIONS SAY IT HARDER FOR THEM IN THE BACK
more like cursed myself with yapping for too long again 😭
@@yourboyneedsahobby omg no I just finished it and it was so good!! ive never even played this game 😭but the character designs ARE SO COOL AHHHHH
@@bibliobibuli1 Right!! The art is impeccable ✨✨
Hades is bisexual the video game
basically a dating sim but with a really intricate side plot
This better be a compilation of 10/10, NEXT! 10/10, NEXT! 10/10, NEXT! 10/
@@filipemartinho1753 that would have been a much better idea and could have made this video a tight 5 minutes 😂😂
achilles appearing at the background when you're talking about orpheus not getting into a murderous rampage and get himself killed ijbol
@@hagilkim he’s too pretty, that’s why he never thought of that 😭😭
40:36 She 100% agrees with your house my fire.
Ares: Sister, why is the future vice president's house burnt down?
Athena: I helped light it on fire.
Ares: ... As you should.
We love a comprehensive seminar on such a richly deserving topic. Immaculate vibes, 10/10, Zag for life
@@FuzzyWhisper move over tedtalks, we’re doing real work here
I love the Hercules shirt
no matter how inaccurate it is, that movie slaps
@@yourboyneedsahobby it does
@@yourboyneedsahobby OMG STOP I LOVE THAT MOVIE SM (*even if meg's body made me hate mine for a hot sec lmao disneys wild with their designs sometimes*)
@@bibliobibuli1 lol her design team was really like "you think the earlier characters were unrealistic? we'll show you unrealistic!" but personality wise, she's the best
HYPNOS MY BELOVED
MAN HE WAS THE REASON I ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT THE GAME ANYWAYS
GOD HE MIGHT BE A LITTLE SHIT
BUT HES SO SODHDOWHWIJDOWJWOJDKDJSKS
@@KENONICAL when I started this game I thought he was a little annoying and now I absolutely love him and how annoying he is 😂
Thank you for the essay, very important work you're doing here and I appreciate it.
@@OstheWeevil Of course, with such talent it’s my duty to give back 😂
HADES VIDEO IN 2024 YES PLEASEEEE
"will flirt with your wall" bisexual is SUCH a perfect description of zag omg
and we love him for it
Omggg this popped up and it’s right down my alley!! So ready to sit and watch your vid 🍿/gen
Only in the first couple of mins. But if you are interested in Greek mythology - would recommend Hadestown!!! It’s my fave musical on the story of Orpheus and Eurydice and the music is like folksy/jazzy vibes
@@Owlbear26 I just listened to Wait For Me for the first time a few weeks ago and that’s next on my list! I can already feel my wicked phase coming back in 😭
your vibes? inmaculate, crazy good quality in this and I'll be very happy to hear your thoughts on the hades 2 characters one day
@@ghostatservice thanks :D and I will no doubt be just as obsessed with hades 2 once I play it 😂
me peer reviewing this ultimately inconsequential rating with so many of my own already hard and fast opinions on this topic: correct, correct, WRONG????, correct, yeah ok i can see it, HUH?, soooooooo true bestiee
i love to hear peoples very passionate yet inconsequential roasts of my own passionate, inconsequential tomfoolery 😂
tisephone is my top 1 smooch, I will not elaborate
FAIR 👏
Skully: don’t know where he came from.
Well about that-
I’m glad you’re enjoying the game! Cant wait for you to join us in hades 2 when you finish* it
@@creation1233 aaaahh I’m so stoked for Hades 2 already!!
For me Zag takes after Persephone HE IS SO KIND I CAN'T😭😭😭
19:11 that's the Miles Edgeworth cut.
This is fantastic I’ve been hoping someone would do something like this it's been years you'd think it would've happened already 😭😭
Edit: Hypnos is my favorite but like you're totally right that man is wanted for tax evasion but like money isn't real the economy is all fake anyways 12/10 bc I'm devastated you can't romance him 💔
it was just waiting for my very particular set of stupid skills 😂
I don’t think I’ve ever subscribed this fast after a single video, this game is one of my hyperfixations and unhinged powerpoint presentations are my favourite genre of video *chef’s kiss*
@@Amethyst_Witch3110 haha so glad we’re on the same fixation wavelength
✨Hermes✨other pro:he has a pet tortoise😭🤩
@@danigaming_ this is the best thing I’ve ever heard 🥹
It's very funny to describe Hermes as "chill" bc it's true but he's also never chilled in his life.
@@katherinesanderson8990 he’s chill in a “naturally has the energy of 7 espressos” kind of way
Why don’t you like Charon’s boat? I personally find it charming
@@Vlogwithathought1278 I did like the little boat ride that I got, that was quite fun. My issue is with boat people in general, their boat is like 93% of their personality 😂
@@yourboyneedsahobby you know what. you are not wrong
19:19 the way i screamed 10
I got to shower but I’ll be back when I’m done
Dionysus tho
DIONYSUS THO 😍
Omg so hilarious. Please playy Hades 2 and smooch-rate them... okay? (It will be awesome)
oh absolutely 😘
*sniff* *sniff*
I diagnose you with
Underrated creator!!
@@marthalylepaga7928 It’s just BO but thank you 😂
I bet Hypnos gives the best cuddles to. That make you sleepy
I always thought Chaos looked like James Charles 😭😭
@@completegarbage4561 NO DONT YOU DO THAT TO ME 😭😭😭
37:49 Also, Aphrodite is a cheater. Her thing with Ares is very much under the rug and her actual marriage is TERRIBLE
Meg is not the less gay choice if *I* smooch her, move over Zag!
@@TheCuriousWays taking one for the team 🫡
EEPY WEEPY LIL GUY
I just finished the game yesterday, the timing of this video was perfect 🛐✨
@@NelariCursedArtist now it’s just time to keep replaying forever 💀💀
My guy Thanatos needs a new haircut, get rid of that scary McDonald’s hairline 🙏 + Help I thought Orpheus was some kind of strange witch aunt who appears randomly and says random crap
not the mcdonalds hairline 😭
FINALLY SOME GOOD FOOD!!
Also I have not played a single pixel of Hades yet (it's on the list tho) but when I saw the designs for orpheus I just imagined his lesbian lookin self shoving his way down to Hades and playing the songs from Hadestown😭😭😭✨️✨️✨️
it would be like Renee Rapp's cover of Wait for Me but she's singing both parts 🎉
Oh naur not the drink water
Book recommendation: Percy Jackson.
Trails of Apollo and sun and the star in particular, Apollo/Lester is the best dramatic dramaqueen as he gets turned mortal and Will and Nico descending into the underworld as a couple is lovely
ooh yes I need to read them!!!
@@yourboyneedsahobby The audiobooks are also great!
@@yourboyneedsahobbydude you totally need to read it, it’s so good !
I sent your tsoa video to my friend because i am begging him to read it and ive been here ever since. Love the channel, keep up the great work :)
@@Soul555_Ace aaaah thanks so much!! 🥹
@ I showed my friend what you said, saying “you should definitely read it now”. He playfully ignored me because the Hamilton phase is a bit too strong right now. He’s the one who got me tsoa for my birthday, but has no interest in reading it 😭
@@Soul555_Ace haha I’ve been there before 😂 please tell him that this particular internet stranger is very invested in him reading it
@@yourboyneedsahobby He may play hades. I've convinced him and he's half greek so someone finally understands my greek mythology rants. He refuses to listen to epic until its all fully released though :(
*reads title* LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO
this is my first introduction to hades
@@inklingplush7592 LOL i’m so sorry then 😂
I think you’d enjoy the Iliad and Odyssey! Specifically Robert Fagles’ translations. They’re my favorite translations I’ve read so far!
@@charbird20 OOH ok I read these as graphic novels over the summer and have been looking for a good translation of the full pieces, thank you!!!
THE VIDEO TO END ALL VIDEOS!!!!!! This was so incredibly entertaining and honestly the more I watch your unhinged ramblings about greek mythology the more I’m like “wait... are we like the same person???” (wait that sounds kinda parasocial lmao oops) that comment about your pinterest being nothing but thanzag and patrochilles is literally SO ME FR 😭😭😭
@@Spineless-Lobster YAA so glad you liked it! I’m lowkey convinced (in a non-conspiracy theory way) that algorithms are circling back around and just molding a bunch of people into the same personality 😭 But thanzag and patrochilles all the way haha
Rank STARKID musicals plz I will give you a blood sacrifice
ok this is a fantastic idea because I've been wanting to rewatch Starship so badly and need to get caught up on their newer ones
@ this comment was better than me watching wicked ( I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF WICKED)
I can help... with the blood sacrifice
I'm ace and Bouldy would treat me right
ICARUS IS IN THERE. I WILL SAY NOTHING MORE BUT HE -IS- THERE AND IT IS GREAT. ALSO HERACLES AS AN ACTUALLY CHILL GUY?
@@MaimedFern my boy 🥹🥹
pst... go check out Meg's romance scene...
@@j4y_b1rd when I got to that point I legitimately sat there for 3 full minutes debating whether of not to whoo her 😂 I did and I regret nothing
STARKID MANTION???????
There's just one thing, you assumed the standpoint of us being Zagreus, while also rating Zagreus. Like I know she's STILL too good for me but I wanna smooch Artemis 💜🏹
@@deamoninyourdreams7612 lol I kept switching between being me and being zag when making this, so I’m just as confused (i wanna smooch her too 😭)
First of all, absolute perfection of a vid, watched it together with my gf and had our asses laughed off, positively :>
As a second lil note, Ares isn't in a relationship in Hades. Aphrodite is married to Hephaestus, and in Hades 2, it's said clear that she dislikes cheating, very much unlike to her canonical counterpart ahem-ahem. And just saying, Aph and Heph are super sweet to one another and I adore them. Sooo it's an extra +1 point to my boy Ares! >:3
Ooh I haven't played the second yet but that's super interesting about aphrodite & the boys (great band name), and so glad you liked it :D
@yourboyneedsahobby This isn't much of a spoiler, just one piece of dialogue you can randomly get from Aph in H2, but she says that one reason she loves Hephaestus so much is because he's the only one who never tried to cheat on her, and I was like bruh 💀
I wouldn't say that Aphrodite and Ares are in a committed relationship, more of an open relationship
Also she's married to Hepheastus
@@Farah-vq5lw haha usually it seems like both aphrodite and hephaestus are unwilling participants in that marriage and he’s trying to get out of it asap
@@yourboyneedsahobby Historically speaking nobody knows how or why they got married, later writing paints their marriage as unwanted by at least Aphrodite either Hephaestus asked for a wife, or Aphrodite specifically as a bargain for freeing Hera or Zeus married them forcibly so nobody fights over Aphrodite, those later writings mainly comes from the people not believing the goddess of beauty would marry Hephaestus ( he's not actually ugly just has a disability those were a mark of shame back then especially for a god) they were basically ableist
I'm sorry but beards are always a plus to me
@@verdurite then good luck babe 😂
I haven't even started, but BOOK RECOMMENDATION ALERTTTT:
Girl, Goddess, Queen by Bea Fitzgerald
:)
@@rubyred7 ooh I’ll check it out, thank you!!
Personal ratings:
Zag, 8/10: cool dude all round, reminds me of myself if i was a cool dude and not an idiot.
Nyx, 8/10: a bit scary but she seems nice. Does have previous relationships, but seems like she has her life together.
Chaos, 7/10: even scarier, i like the aesthetic though. He probably has many cool stories to share with me, great since i'm a knowlage hog.
Meg, 6/10: not really my type but not bad by any means. I will have to ask her to put the whip down and i'm unsure she'd okay with that.
Alecto, 3/10: she is definately not gonna put the whip down.
Tsiphone, 4/10: less agressive than alecto, but seems a bit more dehydrated, always remain hydrated.
Thanotos, 7,5/10: reminds me too much of myself if i was cool. Hot, but i dont think i have anything new to offer in the dynamic.
Hypnos, 8,5/10: love this dude, but he desperately needs some spinage. He can rid me of my sleep deprevation so thats a big plus.
Charon, 6/10: not conventionally attractive, but he seems like someone to respect your time and wants.
Hades, 5/10: would need to approach me bc i would be far too scared. He is however, very loyal and that's a quality i value greatly.
Persephone, 7/10: overal very nice but im not sure i can provide anything she would want out of a partner.
Demeter, 6/10: a bit old looking but she seems confident, not sure if i would like her daughter to look older than me tho.
Dionysus, 4/10: i'm not sure if i could maintian longterm with him but i would be down for a dinner when he's finally sobered up. I dont drink however, so thats gonna doc some points.
Hermes, 7.5/10: seems like he doesnt have much free time, but his personality seems charming. Definately gonna need to be a stay at home.
Ares: 9/10: respects women, cant say that for most of these mf's, also he's a big, tall powerbottom which i can relate to.
Aphrodite, 8/10: not a guarantee that i survive a night with her, but i reckon its worth the risk to some degree.
Artemis 10/10: if dating was a videogame i would be playing bloodborne, luckily, i am a masochist.
I have this profiel picture for a reason.
Athena, 4/10: also very hard to get, but i only think about this character to a heathy degree so she isnt gonna make it higher up than this.
Poseidon, 5/10: a zeus wannabe so thats not well on the concent front, but he seems redeemable to some point so i cant put him lower in good faith.
Zeus 2/10: i'm not hot so im probably not on the victim list, but im not comfortable being with anyone with a list like that. "AND THEN ALONG CAME ZEUS" is a meme for a good reason.
Sisyphus, 8/10: big doofus with a cool rock, whay more could you want.
Orpheus, 6/10: i like the music but i dont think i could be good enough at it to impress him.
Euridice, 9/10: shes made from wood sure, but otherwise she's basically perfect so im not mad about it.
Skelly, 3/10: do not trust him, dont know why, but i dont.
Dusa, 9/10: just a senient head, still somehow acts more responsably than anyone i know. I dont think a single person dislikes this goober, and if there is, there wont be when im done with em.
Achilles, 7/10: he's nice and seems loyal, no big negatives but im not into his vibe for some reason.
Patroclus, 6/10: achillies, but sad, no notes.
Theseus, 3/10: not hopeless but i dont think fixing him is worth the effort.
Supportive shade, 100000/10: THATS WHY HES THE GOAT! THE GOAT!!!
@@Mr.Starlight_gaming going for Artemis is absolutely skipping the tutorial and going straight to expert mode 😭 also the description for Zag had me dying, same bud
Fun fact: my first experience with dark souls was my dad getting stuck on an Endgame boss, giving me the controller, and leaving me alone for 3 hours. I learned the game on the fly and eventually beat it. Im very much used to it.
oh hey i just made a tier list for this
@@notmalk_ Who’s on top of your list?? cause I know theseus is at the bottom 😂
Electric boogaloo huh?
Hermitcraft? :3
This is funny, I do feel obligated to inform you that that joke has existed for a while, even if tag 2 electric boogaloo is iconic
@filipemartinho1753
Welp I knew that, just hoped that she did mean Hermitcraft:/
My fave razzle dazzle ending is when both Meg and Than are there. You know Zag is a bottom.
Also want to point out the birds with Artemis are pheasants not owls. Or at least another type of bird cause owls are Athena's thing.
@@chebikitty5566 I’m actively working on them both right now, I want that throuple 😂 Also that totally makes sense about the birds, they’re just round little guys
@@chebikitty5566 They are probably quails, one of her associated animals.
@@senittoaoflightning4404 I knew they weren't owls but I wasn't sure exactly what they were and they look a lot like pheasants to me
Actually Aphrodite isn't in a commited relationship with Ares, they have an affair going on, she's actually maried to Hephaestus
@@allessandro2390 she’s very committed to her affair 🥰
So, like, I'm a furry, right. So I gotta say on Cerberus, um, that is a dog. And this isn't a Scooby Doo situation Cerberus is not a super smart dog, or a talking dog, or an anthropomorphic dog; he is a three headed dumb of ass good boy of great size. And this means he cannot consent. I mean if Cerberus decides today that you are going to be licked I don't think you get to say no - again very large - but ethically you should not ever be trying to smooch him. 0/10 for the good boy on smoochability I would say.
If you looked at the original Greek Pantheon, Zeus and Poseidon are absolutely un-smoochable with how horrible of people they are!
...Especially Zeus, the all-powerful unfaithful serial cheater, r😳pist, p🤐😨o and bestiality lover.
@@michaelkaduck1915 exactly!! zeus is always a 0, I hate that man
@@yourboyneedsahobby Yeah. Hades, despite being overbearing and controlling, at least in the Pantheon wasn't evil...at least he kept to himself most of the time and was a faithful husband. His foul mood probably is just a lingering trait he inherited from the abuse Chronos gave him.
Hades 2 update when!!!!?????
@@mochilena9733 I’m waiting for it to be fully released before I play it first and I also just finished the first one like 3 years late 😂
another con for Persephone that only applies to me is that she looks almost exactly like my mom, only difference is that my mom has very short hair and is not the goddess of spring (unless she is and i haven't been told)
Edit: ALSO! Dusa is canonically asexual!!
@@_lucifersimp HHAAA that is absolutely fair and congrats to your mom 😂 also super cool about Dusa! I definitely thought she was shyly flirting with zag the whole time but also what do I know 😭
@@yourboyneedsahobby actually this might be a spoiler but dusa has a HUGE crush on zagreus and you can be in a relationship with her! she asks if you want to be with her even though she is not interested in smooching you (or doing more) and she wont be mad if you say no! i love her so much
@@_lucifersimp AAAWWW that’s so cute I love that 😭😭😭
Zag is equally bisexual regardless of whether you pick Meg or Than (or both). I don't consider Meg the "less gay choice" (especially since I'm a bi woman and gunned to romance her first because *I* wanted to smooch her).
@@governor_explosion ABSOLUTELY 👏👏 it was definitely my own stupid knee jerk reaction but I’ve since come to my senses and I LOVE MEG 😭
@@yourboyneedsahobby I hope I didn't come off as snippy, btw! Wasn't my intent.
@@governor_explosion NO NOT AT ALL!!! I totally agree with you and if anything am dunking on myself, I’m 100% here for the phenomenal Bi representation and genuinely love all three of the characters 😊
haven't watched the video at all but based on the title and comments should I be worried? (no offense) But HUH?!?
HAHA I would say as far as the internet goes, it's quite tame, it really is limited to smooching and it is part of the game I swear 😂
@@yourboyneedsahobby ok.... idk how to respond to that ....... i guess that's good? idk
Dude! How could you not mention that Dem dead names her daughter! 1/10 video. Just kidding good vid :D
@@OCTOPUSBOY5 no you’re so right, she does give off old money conservative energy 🙃
I'm going to be completely blunt, another con on Orpheus's part: he looks like an emo clown. Keeping in mind I've never played the game before, never seen the art. But if someone looking like an emo clown is the first thought, that's a con.
@@LittleVulture you’re not wrong 😭😭
Wait so what’s your rating for Aphrodite? You didn’t give your official rating
i honestly think she would also decline your smooches and would rather set you up with someone else so she could take the credit 😂
@ alright that answer is totally valid
Sisyphus will never be in the smooch category for me because of the fact that he kidnapped Than and locked him in a trunk for who knows how long! No way am I betraying my boyfriend for his stalker!
@@PaintSplashProductions lol fair but if anything Than did break into his house to kill him, so if anything he seems more the stalker in that situation 😂
@@yourboyneedsahobby True but I can understand why Than doesn’t like Zag talking to him
He's done his time! 😭 Free my man, he ain't done nothing wrong
@filipemartinho1753 Didn't Zag free him by the end? I think the guy's just chill with Bouldy
@@PaintSplashProductions I think in the myth Ares had to come rescue Than like a disney princess😂