Someone shared this with me and I found it helpful. I do not know who said it, but it wasn’t me. “Grief never ends, but it changes. It is a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness or lack of faith. It is the price of love.” You and Adam will grow from this and be able to help soooo many people. Love you guys!
So true! I lost 5 babies but they were early in the pregnancy, no less a huge loss even if I never felt movement. I finally had a successful pregnancy at 39 and I now have a 31-year-old son! Life is hard, we learn and we heal, and having a real relationship with Jesus helps! Yes, grief is a reflection of how deeply we love! It does change and it never goes away!
I am not a follower, this video was recommended to me by the algorithm. However, I was given a piece of literature with my first miscarriage that , for whatever reason, gave me great comfort. You gave birth. You had a baby. You are a mom. We were not able to raise that little one, but it was comforting to know it wasn't just wasted, I was a mom, I went through labor, I delivered a baby. Hope it helps. Love to you and your husband. PS Many people forget about the dad. He lost as well, he is hurting too.
I'm a dad, and we lost 4 through miscarriages. The 4th one was quite a horrible experience, my wife was quite devastated, I'll spare you the details... We struggled with the losses, and almost gave up. But we never really did give up and God blessed us with 2 kids now, two boys in full health!!! Our first one was born in 2012, the second in 2015. They're thriving!!! Lots of love to you both, I'm sure you'll be busy with a baby sooner that later!!! 😉. PS, I love your channel!!
I'm so very sorry for your the loss of your child. You ARE a mother. I lost 2 babies, each in the 5th month of pregnancy. I still think of my only son, who would be 39 years old and my daughter, who would be 31 now. You'll carry your little angel in your heart forever.
Huge hugs to you! I recently lost all my family in 2020. I'm a portrait painter for 50 years (all I've ever done), and I just finished my last 2 paintings ever for exhibition due to losing my sight. I will only paint for joy now. I thought I'd be devastated. I feel good that the stress and pain is finally over. I'm going to learn pottery/sculpture, and I started a small garden with lots of fruit trees. Life is hard. There just can't be anything harder than losing a child, though. My heart goes out to you. I love your attitude and your content. Hugest of hugs, dear heart.
@@AshtynJadeProductionthank you, but i feel we all are going through stuff. Some is more apparent than others. Some is late in life, some early that affects their whole life. I lost my driver's license due to vision by the time i was 32 and my job as an in-house artist for a New York Times paper. I raised my daughter myself, which was impossible and the best thing in my life. Molested by close family friends from 13-15 years of age. The hard things made me so strong today... but back then I never thought I'd survive many of the things I've lived through. The only option is forward. ❤
Life’s incredibly painful and harrowing. And through all of that… we grow. We learn. And hopefully we become better versions of ourselves. The best part is the opportunities we’re have to live and support others as they do the same. Thank you for your vulnerability here.🥰
Anne, I am so sorry for your loss, I fully understand how you feel about the loss of your child. I have lost 6, 5 first trimester losses and one stillborn late second trimester which resulted in a total hysterectomy. But out of all the ashes came my son when he was 6 weeks old, 3 bonus children, and then my daughter join our family when she was 14. Now, the bonus children (mine in my heart) made me a Gigi, then that precious 6 week old who is now 36 made me a Nana 2 years ago. Then this year, that 14 year old, who is now 20, add a precious little one that will call me Nana. My heart reaches out to you because it is so hard, a parent is not supposed to bury their children. Y’all are in my prayers for comfort, healing, and guidance on moving forward. And oh, in the true healing for me, we fostered 14 beautiful special children who all brought a different gift to my life Prayers and Blessings - Elva❤❤❤
I can really understand why you worry about how an audience may feel about your grief, but nobody but you gets to dictate how you deal with the highs and lows in your life. If sharing is what helps you, the only thing we as viewers can do, is listen. No judgements, no " this is why " or "this is what you should do". Just listen, and, even though we cannot feel what you feel, just be there.
This is the right mentality. I hope the viewers are gentle and understanding with her and realize how much strength it takes to be vulnerable. Hugs to Anne and her family.
My wife got pregnant back in 2021 after trying for years. We were at 19 1/2 weeks, and on Thanksgiving day when my wife started bleeding. We rushed to the ER and they told us the baby had a healthy heart rate and was good but my wife was in pre-term labor and there was no stopping it. We already had the boy name and girl name set. (We wanted to be surprised). I had just painted the nursery and we felt past the danger points. To this day I still have things that crush me. It still feels like a scab years later. I’m sorry you had to go through the loss. I’m glad you’re finding peace during the healing process.
I can only pass along what was told to me: Children are a blessing regardless of what little time we may share with them, you felt the blessing which is why you're in mourning. But don't mourn over what "might have been" ...you are a family, you are a mother to an angel, he is a father... that's something you feel in your heart and at the depths of your soul. I promise you you will never take a life for granted... and the world needs parents like you. Take all the time you need to heal. I can tell you, from my own personal experiences, that you will find peace if you ask Him. ❤
This is not 'woe is me' at all. It's growth and perspective and being real. I love that you are sharing this part of yourself. I think you are an amazing person and it makes me more hopeful about finding people like you to be part of my life community.
Life is too short and this world too cruel to live any way other than as authentic as you Anne. This is the best video I've seen all year and so, SO important. There is hope and comfort and balm in community.
I'm so sorry for your loss. My daughter was born sleeping at 41 weeks and I just had a miscarriage a few days ago and am devastated. But we have been blessed with 2 boys in between the 2 losses who are getting me through this tough time. Sending you hugs and thank you for sharing your story xxx
I lost my 1st baby at 9 months, one day before the due date. It's painful to look forward to holding him only to bury him. Hugs❤ so sorry for your loss
Anne, I absolutely love that everyone who's ever told you "it's impossible" or "you cant", you prove them 100% wrong and succeed in all you do. Although this year has been hard, I know next year will be better 🩷 know that you're not alone, girl.
When I *lost* my first child and only son, Zachary, in utero at 7 months (29 years ago this August), it was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. Some months later, a friend told me he had never seen anyone look so "fragile." I had someone tell me "you can always have more" and another wrote "sorry for your abruption." But those that had experienced their own *losses* were so beautiful with simple words of comfort. When I was expressing how I shouldn't feel such grief over an unborn child whom I'd never even met, my college prof and mentor quickly corrected me and said that this was a human being that was within me and that I did *know* this little person--she basically affirmed my right to grieve that *loss*. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. May the love you and your husband share, as well as the love of your extended family, help to ease the pain over time. Yes, we will always tear up and our hearts will always be sore. There is no "but" to that, it is a period (even an exclamation point on some days). I wish you peace.
This is not the video to watch just prior to running errands. The raw and beautiful emotion you’ve shared resonates so deeply. Thank you.❤ I’ll be reaching out.
Please accept my heartfelt condolences for the loss of your beautiful angel. She will always be a part of ye. I lost one of my twins nearly thirty years ago. Prayers and hugs from Ireland 🙏🕊️💚☘️🇮🇪
My mom was the strongest person I ever met and seeing her not be able to get out of bed after losing my sister... I know the pain has to be unbearable. It breaks my heart to know you are dealing with this same pain. I can't say anything that will make it better but I can pray for you so I am writing your name in my prayer journal and lifting you up to the God who loves you and will carry your burdens. Thanks for sharing...hugs, love and prayers for you and your husband.
I'm not crying, there's something in my eye. I commented on your Instagram post when you posted it. Hugs and encouragement to you and Adam. My ex and I experienced multiple 1st trimester miscarriages. We split for other reasons over a decade later. Ignore those who say things meaning well, but hurt so much. They are tone deaf to what you've been through. Only someone who's been through it knows there's nothing to say. Time lessens the sting, but I still choke up when heartfelt discussions happen, and it was over 30 years ago.
Please know that once you are a family, you are always a family. The loss of your baby girl does not mean that you aren’t a family just a family mourning the loss of a sweet loved one. My deepest sympathy.💜🐞
Hugs to you and Adam. My husband and I lost our first. We had waited and for a couple years I thought motherhood wasn’t in my future. Now we have 2 awesome sons, 26 and 28 years old. I am definitely writing this from the scar. I got through that worst year of my life. Wishing the best for you both.
I've never wanted children. But when I found out I couldn't have them, I counted it as a blessing. I hoped that by it happening to me rather than to someone who wanted children, then it would be a little less pain in the world. My heart goes out to you. A parent should never have to bury their own child. I commend you for talking about it publicly because it's a hard and vulnerable place to be. I can't imagine being a public figure and going through something like that and then discussing it on social media. You are one of the bravest women I know.
Hey, meditation guide and counsellor here, and I just wanted to briefly share something that changed my life. It is my perspective of life itself. I took everything personally, as everyone's egos desire to classify everything into good/bad, right/wrong, fair/unfair, pleasant/unpleasant and so on. Life is just going on, regardless of what we think of it. Once we realise that change is the only constant, attachment to suffering stops. We are not the waves, we are the ocean! Thank you Anne for being so brave in sharing all this with us, and not giving up on life! ♥
That sounds a lot like the philosophy that changed everything for me last year too, best presented in a way I could relate in the book “loving what is” by Byron Katie ❤️❤️
My mom died when I was 16. It was really rough, especially because it was during the COVID Pandemic. Grief isn't something that goes away, or gets better--you just get stronger. I am grateful for my strength. It has allowed me to weather so much difficulty with grace. It has given me a peace, empathy, and clarity that feels beyond my years. I wish I didn't need it.
So sorry about your mom. My mom is terminally ill, and though we’ve been blessed with more time than expected, it feels unfair to lose anyone we love sooner than they need to go.
Thank you for sharing ❤ I lost 6, but got to keep the 7th. The heart ache before I finally got my son after almost 10 years of marriage was unbearable, and I feel with you. Sending a big hug all the way from Norway.
The mother of my 2 daughters & I lost 2 babies before having them. What we learned afterwards, was that the horrible doctor that she was going to (an OB/GYN) did not test her hormone & vitamin levels when she found out that she was pregnant. Apparently, her progesterone levels were too low, which a common pregnancy vitamin would have solved. Please make sure that all of yours are tested & supplemented if necessary, so that you don't go through this horrible experience a second time (like we did). I pray that you & your husband are successful in the future & have as many kids that you want. I know you will be a great mom because it is obvious in your videos that your animals love you because you love them.
You have quickly become one of my favorite UA-camrs! This video was such a gift! To see someone be actually transparent and talk about the hard things is what our world needs more of! I'm so sorry you have had to go through all of this! But thank you for turning such tragedy into encouragement!
Huge love Anne. Me too. My son would have been 25 years old this year and my second miscarriage was very early so I bless that sweet angel too. It sucks, plain and simple but life brings you gifts when you least expect them and you learn to breathe again.
As mentioned at the homesteading festival... Heavenly Father's hand is upon you Anne. You are one of the most strongest women I know. Your UA-cam family have grown with you over these years and while we may not be your of your blood, we still love you like a sister in Christ and will listen and give you any support you may need.
I need a therapist after watching this! How fantastic! How wonderful demonstrating a deliberate life, accepting failures and success! We succeed, then, we have things others help get us through! Cheers!
My first wife and I lost several babies due to miscarriages. Then, our first son died 12 weeks after he was born. So I understand your grief. Even after the birth of our other 2 boys, I wasn't spared any grief. Nine years after the birth of the younger, 20 years after we married, she left me for another man and took the kids with her while we were heavily in debt. I was 4 years into the best job I had ever had, and she moved them 3 hours away! I was also slandered to the church and had to live and work alone for almost 7 more years, during which my dad died and my brother had his first heart attack. Then, I went to live in another country a while. I returned and passed through a literal, real tornado. Then, my mother died. But things are better now. Here, 22 years after this disaster started, I have a wife again, and we have a 6-year-old daughter and property and 2 houses paid for! God only knows if I'll live to see her educated, saved, and happily married. But with him, all things are possible.😀
Dear Anne, I so enjoy watching your youtube channel and learning about gardening. Condolences to you and your husband during this heartbreaking time. You are a family of three forever now. Two here and one planted in heaven. This poem, "Miscarriage prayer by Mother Angelica" helped me in the beginning. I can honestly say, as hard as it was and honestly still is sometimes, I would not have missed that time of pregnancy for the world, I would gladly skip the grief afterwards but I guess that's one of life's mysteries. There is no answer here for the question, "Why?" We had a miscarriage at 12 years married, and married now for 24 years. We still are a family of three. Our miracle baby, Valentin, brought my husband and I closer together as a couple. I send your family my prayers and all those who shared their stories as well in the comments. One of the hardest parts of miscarriage for me, is each year I still want to say on his birthday, look at our beautiful baby, he rocked our world! I still talk to my baby because I'm Catholic and believe in the Communion of Saints, and that he is in heaven with Jesus and has a view I can only imagine. I used to work at a hospital before I was married, and I met a beautiful old lady who was dying. She was joyful, ready and had no fear! Have you ever met a person who you could just see a glow around them? Well, I had the pleasure of listening to her stories while I took care of her. She shared with me why she had no fear. When she was a younger woman she died giving birth to one of her children and met Jesus. He was holding her baby she had just miscarried in his arms and gave her the option of staying in heaven or coming back. Heaven was real and wonderful! She said the moment she worried about her children she would leave behind on earth, she was instantly back into her body. Why I was blessed to hear her story I don't know, but knowing her story, helped me have faith that some blessed day we will meet our babies again in heaven. If I could send you a great big bear hug I would!
Im not sure if you'll see this but I just wanted to say I'm so glad I found your channel this year, your videos are always so genuine and honest. When I was 17 I had a tumor in my uterus and was told I wouldn't be able to have kids of my own. Like you said there's nothing anyone can say since it will always be something that touches your heart, but I can say I have found a lot of peace and joy in gardening as well and it has given me the space to nourish and share my love in this life. I wish you the best in all your endevours Anne. thank you for your content and for opening your heart to the world, sending you so much love 🫶🏽
You are such a genuine and kind hearted person, and in a sea of inauthenticity you are a breath of fresh air. I suffered through 5 miscarriages before having my daughter. Each of them were all in my second trimester and it was truly hell. You plan your future around those babies and it gets ripped away in an instant. You grieve a whole future you planned and dreamed about. The feeling is indescribable and such a raw primal pain. thankyou for being open, it's hard and I'm proud of you to be honest. I'm also proud of you for reaching out to a therapist, it is so necessary in general, but especially when dealing with serious trauma. Thankyou for this video. From your videos I see so many parallels in our lives and I appreciate them immensely because it does help me feel a bit less alone through some very hard times. My husband is a dream partner so I'm never alone, but your videos still always manage to bring a smile to my face :) I'm sleep deprived so if this is hectic to read, it's because I'm a bit frazzled haha. please take care of yourself, both physically and emotionally 💜
We lost our first baby 15 years ago. I still miss her. But I know without a doubt she's safe in heaven and I'll be with her one day. That has always been an amazing comfort to our family. It is a deep, deep loss. Praying for you all.
It does suck to lose a child. My wife was pregnant with twins. We were so excited and so scared to have twins when at the end of the first trimester, we found out that one of our boys had a genetic disease that gave him a 2% chance of survival. He made it to 23 weeks before he passed. She still had to give birth to him since he was so far along and we were lucky to get to hold him and say goodbye. Our other son was born at 31 weeks and spent almost 3 months in the NICU. We felt so helpless and sad but we're so thankful to have our son. I can tell you, it doesn't get easier but with time it gets better. He will always be a part of our life, even if he's not with us. On a side note, that's so cool that Jerilyn is your neighbor. Not gonna lie, I geeked out hard when I saw her in one of your videos. I knew her a decade ago when she still lived up north.
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm deeply sorry for your loss, but also very relieved that you are coping in a healthy and positive way. Of course even in the time of grief, you are finding time and strength to think about everyone around you, human or animal.
Thank you for your vulnerability. I lost 3, each at different points in pregnancy. I have living children with me now, and I still think of those 3! They are never far from my mind, even years later. ❤ My heart and prayers are with you as you find your way through this. I really don't think there is any advice for such intimate loss 💔
You're right, there are no words to say. Just know that when you start to talk about it, you find there are SO many of us out there that have unfortunately experienced this loss. That was true for me. A surprisingly large number of women and couples have had to endure that loss and it just plain sucks more than words can express. I felt some comfort in knowing I wasn't alone in my grief. I crocheted a huge blanket during my so very fresh moments of loss and grief. There is so much love in that blanket. It's been 9 years, and I still sleep with it every night, and somehow feel comforted by her spirit. Karen Ann is still with me and always will be. That blanket was made in honor of her and made with every single emotion I felt at that time. You are not alone my friend. Sending peace, love, understanding, and all the hugs! 🙏❤️☀️ God has plans for you. Ok so I'm editing to add....I wrote the above at the beginning of your video. Here I am at the end and I'm crying with you. I felt the struggle and the shame. While this happened in 2015, and I thought I was healed, I carry the loss with me always. I have two beautiful boys, ages 7 and 6. What I didn't plan on was my husband walking out on me when I was pregnant with my youngest. While this was shocking and traumatic and all the things, I have learned to focus on what I do have.... And I have my boys. I hear you God, I'm not in control, just along for this wild ride and snatching up every single moment of love and light along the way. ❤️❤️❤️ Love to you sister! (I believe I needed that cry🙏😘)
Oh, Mama. Losing a child is so difficult. My daughter was 9 when she passed. She would have been 36 on 7/18. I still miss her every day. I also lost three to miscarriage. I miss them and what they might have been. Even with all the grief life did go on and the pain did ease. And yes, attitude and gratitude are the healers--but so is service such as you are providing on this channel and in your speeches. Life can be heaven amid hell--if we refuse to suffer. When the dog paws you, he isn't being pushy but is petting you, showing affection and love. Thank you. It's a lovely channel and you are a sweet girl. I'm 60, so I can call you a girl. Have a blessed day.
Was so honored to get to say "hi" to you at the Homestead Festival a couple of weeks ago. I'm the one that mistakenly called you Jill - until you turned around and I figured out my mistake and you were so gracious !!!! Loved hearing you speak that weekend and just know that my prayers are with you for your grief you have shared with us and I can only marvel at your honesty and graceful spirit in dealing with what you are dealing with. Everybody's "hard" things are different and again - thank you for sharing your life with us !!!! Prayers of comfort to you and your hubby and that your future has more highs than lows !!!
I fully understand your heartbreak. My first baby was stillborn. Too many emotions to explain to anyone and there really isn't much anyone can say to help. But having someone to listen and understand would have helped me through that, almost 40 years ago. I'm sending hugs and love your way.
I'm so sorry Anne... also me too, a little over a year ago. I miscarried just before the Homestead Festival. I debated on whether or not I should still go because I had been looking forward to it so much, but I was devastated and grieving. I decided to go anyway and was blessed to meet you there. I told you I felt socially awkward, and you told me you got ants in your pants from sitting in the grass. It was small, but it made me feel a little better. It all still feels kind of like a dream. I'm glad I went, but it wasn't the experience I was hoping it would be (because of what I was going through, not because the event was lacking). I hope and pray healing and comfort for both of us, and for all the others sharing this grief, and that our dreams will come true. ❤
Your strength inspires me to tackle the challenges and difficulties in my life that I've been hiding from. I dont want to say how sorry i am for your situation because that feels hollow and generic, instead please let me thank you Anne, the risk taking in making this video and publishing it is so much greater than I face. I hope to be as strong as you and your husband one day. Take care. The internet is a horrible place, but know that there are real people all over the world, im in the UK, are thankful to you for helping them
I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. My daughter went through this and it was the most painful thing. Sending you love and comfort. Thank you for speaking out. I think so many people who have suffered through miscarriages have felt so alone.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my first baby boy in my 5th month of pregnancy a little over 30 years ago. Although it is a devastating experience that almost destroyed me, it did get better over time. Even now, I still feel a loss in my heart for that child, but I was blessed to have 2 wonderful sons afterwards. I just wanted to tell you, I only discovered your UA-cam about a month ago (lazy gardening drew me in!) And you have inspired me more than you could ever know. I'm in the process of a raw land to home purchase of a little over an acre and while waiting for my home to be ready, your videos are giving me so many ideas and inspiration so thank you for being you and sharing your skills, knowledge, and hopeful personality. May you find peace and comfort.
Wow, I had no idea you were even pregnant, let alone a miscarriage. I'm so sorry for your loss, I cannot even begin to imagine what you and your husband have been through. From one of the highest highs to one of the lowest lows in the space of a few months. My heart hurts for you both.
Oh buddy. My heart breaks to hear that. My mom, my best friend and hero was given 6 weeks to live a few years ago. We said our goodbyes and I truly did not know how to do life without her on this planet. She fought hard and is, by no small miracle, still with us almost five years later, but saying goodbye to her, thinking it would be the last time changed the way I have viewed every day since. My heart goes out to you and aches right along with yours ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for speaking about all that you speak about. Thank you for being genuine about your loss and pain. My heart broke at the loss of your baby girl. Bless you both.
My dear sweet friend. I've only recently come across your channel. This video is what I needed to hear today. I spent most of my twenties bedridden after my Army service. I was told I would never have children and we fought for my life to be restored. I needed your perspective today. I know this won't help your pain, but I have so much gratitude for you sharing your journey. I have experienced several losses but I recently gave birth to my 4th child and barely survived this process. This pregnancy was one of the most challenging I've had yet. I watch gardening and farming videos and wish I could have the plants and animals you all do... Sometimes I see young couples who garden on social media and I just assume they chose a garden over having children but I can see that you would have given anything to have that baby. And I resonate with you more than them. I was reminded today... that all my heirloom apple trees died this year so I could have this baby. They were overcome with a pest or illness at a point I couldn't even check them. Out of the 100 total trees of different types I planted, only 12 or so remain alive and all the apples are gone. The only thing left in my garden is my mint and my asparagus--which I lovingly refer to as my "Ignore it" garden. My chickens (the only animals we have) were passing away because they were all so old and I wasn't well enough to process them. I know you would have given it all up for your baby too. And I'm so sorry your finish line never came... "Comparison is the thief of joy" and it was a poignant reminder that the overwhelming challenges I've gone through just to have children, is not alone. And comparing gardens, families or any number of things only leads to more hurt. And gratitude is the only thing that brings more joy. Thank you for the reminder. My heart goes out to you and your sweet husband. I'll continue to send you prayers, love and Light as you are lifted through the rest of this year. Your smile is magnetic and your passion is palpable. YOU are a gift. A treasure. And I hope you feel the love this community around you.
From all of us who are also struggling with pain or sadness or loss or grief or disappointment, thank you Anne, for being brave enough to share your journey, and talk about it. Big hugs and good quiet time around the fire from us to you. Thank you.
Grief is the most personal experience and yet it is universal. Gravity shifts while no one else notices you are trying to walk forward but everything is sideways. It is a struggle every day, time doesn't heal it, it teaches you to walk with the new gravity and honor your loved one in heart beats, tender moments and glimpses of them in sunlight and rain.
Having gone through a miscarriage in 2007 with my first and only pregnancy, I understand the grief and pain of losing a baby that essentially became the center of our life. I know you know you are not alone in this, but I wanted to reinforce that. I have found that the pain lessened but the grief stays with me. Multiple times during the year I think about how different my life would be if I had carried to term. My child would be 16 this month. My husband and I lead a busy, fulfilled life together that we love, but we will still take moments to reflect on what could have been. Peace to you, and thank you for sharing.
Sending you all the prayers and positive vibes for healing. There are no words to make it easier or better, I know this first hand. I LOVE your content, it is invaluable. Please know you are appreciated so much for your gifts to us!
My heart goes out to you. This kind of grief is so difficult to process. I also lost two baby boys 3 years apart both at 20 weeks preganant. Each time, I got pregnant right away, and the pregnancies seemed normal. We realized that I have an autoimmune disease that caused my body to attack the pregnancies. The babies were healthy and normal. I will never be the same. I was incredibly lucky that I already had 2 babies when I was a little younger and I was able to carry them to term. They are now 15 and 18. Still, not a day goes by that I don't think of the two I lost. Focusing on the present, being in the beauty around me outside, throwing myself into gardens, my music career, projects, and raising the two children I had on this earth helped me survive. You have so much to keep you present in the world, what a beautiful place you live in. May you find comfort in all the beauty you create.
I have not experienced this but her life was definitely worth mourning and celebrating and to me that looks like anyway you need to express it. Praying for you guys
Anne, you’re the “me” I wish I was. My husband and I are in a similar position- but new farm, eventually wanting a family (not sure if that’ll happen), my interests are all over the place but I haven’t gotten the drive to fulfill the things I want. Your videos have been helping me SO much. I’ve struggled with mental health my whole life… and can’t figure out how to make things work AND THEN God brought your vids in my face and gosh just such practical info I can actually put into practice!! Thank you for sharing the good, bad and ugly and for making me laugh here and there too ❤
I continue to admire your strength and courage in sharing your story. Everybody has a story, and it should be ok to share it with loved ones and perfect strangers. Here's to you and all of us who keep on going, especially when it's hard. Wishing you and your family peace. Thanks for sharing.
Anne, we were also a 1 in 5 couple. I also did counseling via internet in later part of my career. You've come a long way and I'm an Adam fan as well. Together is better? sometimes. LOL! Adapt and overcome! Go girl!
That quote sounded like it has been stolen from a Norwegian saying; "shared joy, double joy. Shared sorrow/hardship, halfed sorrow/hardship". Obviously you sharing your sorrow (and joys) has a positive effect on many viewers - hopefully that also has had a positive effect on your sorrow (and joys)
I lost my son when he was 13 and i think GOD that I had the time with him.The hurt and loss never goes away. I thank about my son every day. You did nothing wrong. After a time we must go on with hope in the future. You are a inspiration to many people. The way you get through the many hard times you have had to face through you're life and used them for the good. I don't know if you believe in GOD, but this I can tell you HE believes in you ,Anne of All Trades
When grief is involved, I think it’s best to speak from scabs, until you feel strong enough to speak from your scars, however long that may take you. If ppl can’t deal w/you until then, well that’s on them, not you. Take care of yourself. Much Loving Hugs to you and thank you for the High value content you provide us🤗💖🙏
There are some wounds that aren’t supposed to heal they make us deeply compassionate for others and more human. It bonds us together with others who expirience loss . I am with you. Xoxo
Oh, you are such a dearheart! I am so sorry for your loss! My daughter just lost her baby a week ago and it’s scorchingly painful. I just found your channel last week and am having a blast watching your sprite of a spirit dance through life. I choked up upon hearing your loss and grateful you shared. From an old lady…you are a mother to many, a daughter to many, a sister to many and we all hurt for your family. Keep smiling, keep loving and laughing, even through the hurt. 🤗
I lost a son at his birth, but due to horrible circumstances, I didn’t know about it until 25 years afterward. It hit me very, very hard, as I’ve not been able to have any children in the intervening years.
Dear Anne, thank you so much for sharing your grief and, and all your inspirational words and actions. I love your ‘gratitude sunset’ - you’ve inspired me to do the same! I lost my first child, a boy, at 8 months pregnant, 43 years ago. He just died inside me and I had to ‘birth’ him. I went into hospital the day it was confirmed he was dead; labour was going to be induced the following morning. In the early hours I woke in labour and wandered down the hallway looking for a midwife. Everything was silent. In the little alcove beside the nurses station there was a bassinet with a tiny baby who had clearly been born that night. I stood looking down at him and feeling my dead child inside me and suddenly my heart opened to the tremendous mystery and gift of life and death and how we walk that cycle with all the joys and griefs and effort of it. I was filled with awe and gratitude. It was one of the most profound moments of my life and remains with me vividly to this day. Love to you and Adam - I'm so sorry for your loss 💕
I’m so sorry for your family’s loss! As someone who walked the road of infertility, I know how that ache to have a child feels all consuming at times. Praying for healing and peace but also that your womb would once again be opened up ♥️ And Congrats on your book!!! 🙌😀 that’s so exciting!!
Oh, sweet girl. My heart goes out to you. We experienced three babies we did not get to hold. (I detest the words “miscarriage” or “lost,” as if they were somehow my fault.) You’re right. Perspective does matter. Our babies would be 26, 25, and 25 years old this year. Listening to you try to talk around the boulder in your throat brings it all back afresh. But I promise you, it does get better. It will always hurt. But the scab does turn to scar over time. You are doing one of the best things to help your heart heal - sharing your pain and trying to help others. This world does not know what to do with grief. So it often gets mislabeled as depression, which is too vague and pointless at times. Grief has a reason and can be grown through. And you are growing so beautifully and so beautiful! I’m praying for you. Hugs, many hugs and prayers.
Yep... I'm part of the 1-in-5 club, too. Lost him at 18 weeks when my water broke prematurely. Thank you for sharing and talking about the hard things. It helps others not feel alone. I don't believe we're meant to do the hard things alone. Sometimes we don't have a choice, as you've talked about, but some choose to deny themselves help from others for whatever reason. Asking for help is ALWAYS ok. Asking is a sign of strength, not weakness. Reach out to who you can, even if it's a stranger in the comments on a UA-cam video. ❤
Sorry you are having to deal with the loss of your baby girl. Sending hugs. I lost two of my adult children in 2016 and 2018. I wrote a book Truth Be Told a Mother’s Raw Grief. I wrote it for a release and hope for anyone who reads it. Again sending hugs ❤
I only found your channel a couple of months ago. And I cherish the honesty, the wisdom, and thought that you share. You are unapologetically you - and that is beautiful. I pray that in time, God will turn your mourning into dancing, your sorrow into joy. Sending big hugs.
When my Dad went into inpatient hospice and passed away 4 days later it was one of the most absolutely painfull experiences of my 50+ years of life. But almost 5 years later, I remember it as both the worst of times and the best of times. What makes the bitter sweet is when people come alongside you who care and want to encourage you that it won't be easy, but you will make it. Thank you for being transparent - it takes a lot of courage and you are making a difference by doing it. Hugs!
I cried for you as I watched this. I, too, know the heartache of losing a baby. We wanted a football team with a few cheerleaders ... but after losing 5 babies, we decided a solitaire team will be great. I spent many weeks on bedrest but finally am Mom to 3 'youngsters' (current ages 41, 40, and 38). And - never stop promoting mental health. Those sessions have saved soooo many of us all. God bless you and all your wild ideas. I've got my youngest hooked on your videos and attempting your gardening technique on her corner lot in Youngstown, Ohio. ❤❤
Oh, Anne ❤ I’m so sorry you had to bury your baby girl. I can’t imagine how hard that was and still is. 😢 I know we, as your viewers, are all here for you and feel your sadness and pain along with you. But I hope that there are people in your real life circle that are surrounding you with love and support as well. My daughter suffered brain damage due to oxygen loss at birth, and although she did survive and is still with us, we almost lost her a couple times and it’s been a really long and isolating road to “recovery”. If there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that although the experience of going through something difficult like this is very personal and feels lonely, you are not alone. People will surround you with love and support, if you let them. I think people do truly want to help and be there, it’s just one of those things that there are no words unless you’ve been through it yourself. And you’re right that it just sucks and It’s hard to see that any possible good could come from it. But God has a way of taking the most excruciatingly painful experiences and somehow making it less painful as the wound heals. My daughter gets books from the Dolly pardon imagination library, and one of the recent ones was about raindrops and rainbows, and the very last sentence is “I don’t mind rain because I know, without raindrops there is no rainbow.” When we go through the hard times, it makes the good times all the sweeter. I pray that you’ll get your rainbow baby soon ❤❤❤
I am truly sorry. There are no words that anyone can say to take away the pain you are going thru. I lost a baby in the middle of my 4 children and that was devastating to me and I don’t know what you’re going thru because everyone is different and works thru this differently. I will pray that you are blessed with a family to share all of the things you share with us.
No words. Just hugs.
Literally the thing I came to say as well.
Big hugs!!!
true , strong video ! you are count to of the strongest women i know of!!!
THIS, 💯
Thank you for sharing, Anne. 😕
THIS.. ❤
Someone shared this with me and I found it helpful. I do not know who said it, but it wasn’t me.
“Grief never ends, but it changes. It is a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness or lack of faith. It is the price of love.”
You and Adam will grow from this and be able to help soooo many people. Love you guys!
‘The price of love’ the absolute best way to put it. Thank you for sharing 🥰
So true! I lost 5 babies but they were early in the pregnancy, no less a huge loss even if I never felt movement. I finally had a successful pregnancy at 39 and I now have a 31-year-old son! Life is hard, we learn and we heal, and having a real relationship with Jesus helps! Yes, grief is a reflection of how deeply we love! It does change and it never goes away!
This is so incredibly true ❤
😭❤
Thank you for sharing. You are an inspiration to me x
I am not a follower, this video was recommended to me by the algorithm. However, I was given a piece of literature with my first miscarriage that , for whatever reason, gave me great comfort. You gave birth. You had a baby. You are a mom. We were not able to raise that little one, but it was comforting to know it wasn't just wasted, I was a mom, I went through labor, I delivered a baby. Hope it helps. Love to you and your husband. PS Many people forget about the dad. He lost as well, he is hurting too.
I'm a dad, and we lost 4 through miscarriages. The 4th one was quite a horrible experience, my wife was quite devastated, I'll spare you the details... We struggled with the losses, and almost gave up. But we never really did give up and God blessed us with 2 kids now, two boys in full health!!! Our first one was born in 2012, the second in 2015. They're thriving!!! Lots of love to you both, I'm sure you'll be busy with a baby sooner that later!!! 😉. PS, I love your channel!!
I'm so very sorry for your the loss of your child. You ARE a mother. I lost 2 babies, each in the 5th month of pregnancy. I still think of my only son, who would be 39 years old and my daughter, who would be 31 now. You'll carry your little angel in your heart forever.
Huge hugs to you! I recently lost all my family in 2020. I'm a portrait painter for 50 years (all I've ever done), and I just finished my last 2 paintings ever for exhibition due to losing my sight. I will only paint for joy now. I thought I'd be devastated. I feel good that the stress and pain is finally over. I'm going to learn pottery/sculpture, and I started a small garden with lots of fruit trees. Life is hard.
There just can't be anything harder than losing a child, though. My heart goes out to you. I love your attitude and your content. Hugest of hugs, dear heart.
You are amazing ❤
Wow. WHAT an inspiration.❤️ And what a story you have to tell.
@@AshtynJadeProductionthank you, but i feel we all are going through stuff. Some is more apparent than others. Some is late in life, some early that affects their whole life. I lost my driver's license due to vision by the time i was 32 and my job as an in-house artist for a New York Times paper. I raised my daughter myself, which was impossible and the best thing in my life. Molested by close family friends from 13-15 years of age. The hard things made me so strong today... but back then I never thought I'd survive many of the things I've lived through. The only option is forward. ❤
Thank you, We needed to hear that.
Life’s incredibly painful and harrowing. And through all of that… we grow. We learn. And hopefully we become better versions of ourselves. The best part is the opportunities we’re have to live and support others as they do the same. Thank you for your vulnerability here.🥰
Anne, I am so sorry for your loss, I fully understand how you feel about the loss of your child. I have lost 6, 5 first trimester losses and one stillborn late second trimester which resulted in a total hysterectomy. But out of all the ashes came my son when he was 6 weeks old, 3 bonus children, and then my daughter join our family when she was 14. Now, the bonus children (mine in my heart) made me a Gigi, then that precious 6 week old who is now 36 made me a Nana 2 years ago. Then this year, that 14 year old, who is now 20, add a precious little one that will call me Nana.
My heart reaches out to you because it is so hard, a parent is not supposed to bury their children.
Y’all are in my prayers for comfort, healing, and guidance on moving forward.
And oh, in the true healing for me, we fostered 14 beautiful special children who all brought a different gift to my life
Prayers and Blessings - Elva❤❤❤
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Thank you for being vulnerable. 2 out of my 5 pregnancies ended in miscarriage. Don't apologize for promoting mental health.
I can really understand why you worry about how an audience may feel about your grief, but nobody but you gets to dictate how you deal with the highs and lows in your life. If sharing is what helps you, the only thing we as viewers can do, is listen. No judgements, no " this is why " or "this is what you should do". Just listen, and, even though we cannot feel what you feel, just be there.
Indeed. Very well said.
Word!
This is the right mentality. I hope the viewers are gentle and understanding with her and realize how much strength it takes to be vulnerable.
Hugs to Anne and her family.
Anne, Brene Brown says that vulnerability is the measure of bravery. And you are the definition of that. My heart is with you. Melissa🍀
Beautiful quote❤
In our prayers Anne! You are so loved by your Father in Heaven. Your community loves you and is rallying behind you.
My wife got pregnant back in 2021 after trying for years. We were at 19 1/2 weeks, and on Thanksgiving day when my wife started bleeding. We rushed to the ER and they told us the baby had a healthy heart rate and was good but my wife was in pre-term labor and there was no stopping it. We already had the boy name and girl name set. (We wanted to be surprised). I had just painted the nursery and we felt past the danger points. To this day I still have things that crush me. It still feels like a scab years later. I’m sorry you had to go through the loss. I’m glad you’re finding peace during the healing process.
I’m so sorry 😢
I can only pass along what was told to me: Children are a blessing regardless of what little time we may share with them, you felt the blessing which is why you're in mourning. But don't mourn over what "might have been" ...you are a family, you are a mother to an angel, he is a father... that's something you feel in your heart and at the depths of your soul. I promise you you will never take a life for granted... and the world needs parents like you. Take all the time you need to heal. I can tell you, from my own personal experiences, that you will find peace if you ask Him. ❤
This is not 'woe is me' at all. It's growth and perspective and being real. I love that you are sharing this part of yourself. I think you are an amazing person and it makes me more hopeful about finding people like you to be part of my life community.
Life is too short and this world too cruel to live any way other than as authentic as you Anne. This is the best video I've seen all year and so, SO important. There is hope and comfort and balm in community.
I'm so sorry for your loss. My daughter was born sleeping at 41 weeks and I just had a miscarriage a few days ago and am devastated. But we have been blessed with 2 boys in between the 2 losses who are getting me through this tough time. Sending you hugs and thank you for sharing your story xxx
I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you!
I lost my 1st baby at 9 months, one day before the due date. It's painful to look forward to holding him only to bury him. Hugs❤ so sorry for your loss
Anne, I absolutely love that everyone who's ever told you "it's impossible" or "you cant", you prove them 100% wrong and succeed in all you do. Although this year has been hard, I know next year will be better 🩷 know that you're not alone, girl.
When I *lost* my first child and only son, Zachary, in utero at 7 months (29 years ago this August), it was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. Some months later, a friend told me he had never seen anyone look so "fragile." I had someone tell me "you can always have more" and another wrote "sorry for your abruption." But those that had experienced their own *losses* were so beautiful with simple words of comfort. When I was expressing how I shouldn't feel such grief over an unborn child whom I'd never even met, my college prof and mentor quickly corrected me and said that this was a human being that was within me and that I did *know* this little person--she basically affirmed my right to grieve that *loss*.
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. May the love you and your husband share, as well as the love of your extended family, help to ease the pain over time. Yes, we will always tear up and our hearts will always be sore. There is no "but" to that, it is a period (even an exclamation point on some days). I wish you peace.
I’m so sorry for your loss
This is not the video to watch just prior to running errands. The raw and beautiful emotion you’ve shared resonates so deeply. Thank you.❤ I’ll be reaching out.
I'm not crying. It's allergies! 😭
💯🤭
Please accept my heartfelt condolences for the loss of your beautiful angel. She will always be a part of ye. I lost one of my twins nearly thirty years ago. Prayers and hugs from Ireland 🙏🕊️💚☘️🇮🇪
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My mom was the strongest person I ever met and seeing her not be able to get out of bed after losing my sister... I know the pain has to be unbearable. It breaks my heart to know you are dealing with this same pain. I can't say anything that will make it better but I can pray for you so I am writing your name in my prayer journal and lifting you up to the God who loves you and will carry your burdens. Thanks for sharing...hugs, love and prayers for you and your husband.
I'm not crying, there's something in my eye. I commented on your Instagram post when you posted it. Hugs and encouragement to you and Adam. My ex and I experienced multiple 1st trimester miscarriages. We split for other reasons over a decade later.
Ignore those who say things meaning well, but hurt so much. They are tone deaf to what you've been through. Only someone who's been through it knows there's nothing to say. Time lessens the sting, but I still choke up when heartfelt discussions happen, and it was over 30 years ago.
Please know that once you are a family, you are always a family. The loss of your baby girl does not mean that you aren’t a family just a family mourning the loss of a sweet loved one. My deepest sympathy.💜🐞
Your journey, while not easy, will bless others.
Thank you for sharing all of your story. I'm praying for you.
Hugs to you and Adam. My husband and I lost our first. We had waited and for a couple years I thought motherhood wasn’t in my future. Now we have 2 awesome sons, 26 and 28 years old. I am definitely writing this from the scar. I got through that worst year of my life. Wishing the best for you both.
I've never wanted children. But when I found out I couldn't have them, I counted it as a blessing. I hoped that by it happening to me rather than to someone who wanted children, then it would be a little less pain in the world. My heart goes out to you. A parent should never have to bury their own child. I commend you for talking about it publicly because it's a hard and vulnerable place to be. I can't imagine being a public figure and going through something like that and then discussing it on social media. You are one of the bravest women I know.
Hey, meditation guide and counsellor here, and I just wanted to briefly share something that changed my life.
It is my perspective of life itself. I took everything personally, as everyone's egos desire to classify everything into good/bad, right/wrong, fair/unfair, pleasant/unpleasant and so on. Life is just going on, regardless of what we think of it. Once we realise that change is the only constant, attachment to suffering stops. We are not the waves, we are the ocean!
Thank you Anne for being so brave in sharing all this with us, and not giving up on life! ♥
That sounds a lot like the philosophy that changed everything for me last year too, best presented in a way I could relate in the book “loving what is” by Byron Katie ❤️❤️
Would never think that about you dear heart… you are loved…
My mom died when I was 16. It was really rough, especially because it was during the COVID Pandemic. Grief isn't something that goes away, or gets better--you just get stronger. I am grateful for my strength. It has allowed me to weather so much difficulty with grace. It has given me a peace, empathy, and clarity that feels beyond my years. I wish I didn't need it.
So sorry about your mom. My mom is terminally ill, and though we’ve been blessed with more time than expected, it feels unfair to lose anyone we love sooner than they need to go.
Thank you for sharing ❤
I lost 6, but got to keep the 7th. The heart ache before I finally got my son after almost 10 years of marriage was unbearable, and I feel with you.
Sending a big hug all the way from Norway.
The mother of my 2 daughters & I lost 2 babies before having them. What we learned afterwards, was that the horrible doctor that she was going to (an OB/GYN) did not test her hormone & vitamin levels when she found out that she was pregnant.
Apparently, her progesterone levels were too low, which a common pregnancy vitamin would have solved. Please make sure that all of yours are tested & supplemented if necessary, so that you don't go through this horrible experience a second time (like we did).
I pray that you & your husband are successful in the future & have as many kids that you want. I know you will be a great mom because it is obvious in your videos that your animals love you because you love them.
You have quickly become one of my favorite UA-camrs! This video was such a gift! To see someone be actually transparent and talk about the hard things is what our world needs more of! I'm so sorry you have had to go through all of this! But thank you for turning such tragedy into encouragement!
Huge love Anne. Me too. My son would have been 25 years old this year and my second miscarriage was very early so I bless that sweet angel too. It sucks, plain and simple but life brings you gifts when you least expect them and you learn to breathe again.
As mentioned at the homesteading festival...
Heavenly Father's hand is upon you Anne. You are one of the most strongest women I know.
Your UA-cam family have grown with you over these years and while we may not be your of your blood, we still love you like a sister in Christ and will listen and give you any support you may need.
Grief is like glitter it gets on everything. The secret is seeking your creator with your heart, soul and mind. Shalom
I need a therapist after watching this! How fantastic! How wonderful demonstrating a deliberate life, accepting failures and success! We succeed, then, we have things others help get us through! Cheers!
Sending you deep Love
~April from B.C.
12 years after I lost my daughter and some days it still hurts like yesterday. You will always carry her in your heart 💞
My first wife and I lost several babies due to miscarriages. Then, our first son died 12 weeks after he was born. So I understand your grief. Even after the birth of our other 2 boys, I wasn't spared any grief. Nine years after the birth of the younger, 20 years after we married, she left me for another man and took the kids with her while we were heavily in debt. I was 4 years into the best job I had ever had, and she moved them 3 hours away! I was also slandered to the church and had to live and work alone for almost 7 more years, during which my dad died and my brother had his first heart attack. Then, I went to live in another country a while. I returned and passed through a literal, real tornado. Then, my mother died.
But things are better now. Here, 22 years after this disaster started, I have a wife again, and we have a 6-year-old daughter and property and 2 houses paid for! God only knows if I'll live to see her educated, saved, and happily married. But with him, all things are possible.😀
Dear Anne, I so enjoy watching your youtube channel and learning about gardening. Condolences to you and your husband during this heartbreaking time. You are a family of three forever now. Two here and one planted in heaven. This poem, "Miscarriage prayer by Mother Angelica" helped me in the beginning. I can honestly say, as hard as it was and honestly still is sometimes, I would not have missed that time of pregnancy for the world, I would gladly skip the grief afterwards but I guess that's one of life's mysteries. There is no answer here for the question, "Why?" We had a miscarriage at 12 years married, and married now for 24 years. We still are a family of three. Our miracle baby, Valentin, brought my husband and I closer together as a couple. I send your family my prayers and all those who shared their stories as well in the comments. One of the hardest parts of miscarriage for me, is each year I still want to say on his birthday, look at our beautiful baby, he rocked our world! I still talk to my baby because I'm Catholic and believe in the Communion of Saints, and that he is in heaven with Jesus and has a view I can only imagine. I used to work at a hospital before I was married, and I met a beautiful old lady who was dying. She was joyful, ready and had no fear! Have you ever met a person who you could just see a glow around them? Well, I had the pleasure of listening to her stories while I took care of her. She shared with me why she had no fear. When she was a younger woman she died giving birth to one of her children and met Jesus. He was holding her baby she had just miscarried in his arms and gave her the option of staying in heaven or coming back. Heaven was real and wonderful! She said the moment she worried about her children she would leave behind on earth, she was instantly back into her body. Why I was blessed to hear her story I don't know, but knowing her story, helped me have faith that some blessed day we will meet our babies again in heaven. If I could send you a great big bear hug I would!
Im not sure if you'll see this but I just wanted to say I'm so glad I found your channel this year, your videos are always so genuine and honest. When I was 17 I had a tumor in my uterus and was told I wouldn't be able to have kids of my own. Like you said there's nothing anyone can say since it will always be something that touches your heart, but I can say I have found a lot of peace and joy in gardening as well and it has given me the space to nourish and share my love in this life. I wish you the best in all your endevours Anne. thank you for your content and for opening your heart to the world, sending you so much love 🫶🏽
You are such a genuine and kind hearted person, and in a sea of inauthenticity you are a breath of fresh air.
I suffered through 5 miscarriages before having my daughter. Each of them were all in my second trimester and it was truly hell. You plan your future around those babies and it gets ripped away in an instant. You grieve a whole future you planned and dreamed about. The feeling is indescribable and such a raw primal pain. thankyou for being open, it's hard and I'm proud of you to be honest. I'm also proud of you for reaching out to a therapist, it is so necessary in general, but especially when dealing with serious trauma.
Thankyou for this video. From your videos I see so many parallels in our lives and I appreciate them immensely because it does help me feel a bit less alone through some very hard times. My husband is a dream partner so I'm never alone, but your videos still always manage to bring a smile to my face :)
I'm sleep deprived so if this is hectic to read, it's because I'm a bit frazzled haha. please take care of yourself, both physically and emotionally 💜
We lost our first baby 15 years ago. I still miss her. But I know without a doubt she's safe in heaven and I'll be with her one day. That has always been an amazing comfort to our family. It is a deep, deep loss. Praying for you all.
Hugs Anne!
I've felt it too.❤
It does suck to lose a child. My wife was pregnant with twins. We were so excited and so scared to have twins when at the end of the first trimester, we found out that one of our boys had a genetic disease that gave him a 2% chance of survival. He made it to 23 weeks before he passed. She still had to give birth to him since he was so far along and we were lucky to get to hold him and say goodbye. Our other son was born at 31 weeks and spent almost 3 months in the NICU. We felt so helpless and sad but we're so thankful to have our son. I can tell you, it doesn't get easier but with time it gets better. He will always be a part of our life, even if he's not with us.
On a side note, that's so cool that Jerilyn is your neighbor. Not gonna lie, I geeked out hard when I saw her in one of your videos. I knew her a decade ago when she still lived up north.
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm deeply sorry for your loss, but also very relieved that you are coping in a healthy and positive way. Of course even in the time of grief, you are finding time and strength to think about everyone around you, human or animal.
Thank you for your vulnerability. I lost 3, each at different points in pregnancy. I have living children with me now, and I still think of those 3! They are never far from my mind, even years later. ❤
My heart and prayers are with you as you find your way through this. I really don't think there is any advice for such intimate loss 💔
You're right, there are no words to say. Just know that when you start to talk about it, you find there are SO many of us out there that have unfortunately experienced this loss. That was true for me. A surprisingly large number of women and couples have had to endure that loss and it just plain sucks more than words can express. I felt some comfort in knowing I wasn't alone in my grief. I crocheted a huge blanket during my so very fresh moments of loss and grief. There is so much love in that blanket. It's been 9 years, and I still sleep with it every night, and somehow feel comforted by her spirit. Karen Ann is still with me and always will be. That blanket was made in honor of her and made with every single emotion I felt at that time. You are not alone my friend. Sending peace, love, understanding, and all the hugs! 🙏❤️☀️ God has plans for you.
Ok so I'm editing to add....I wrote the above at the beginning of your video. Here I am at the end and I'm crying with you. I felt the struggle and the shame. While this happened in 2015, and I thought I was healed, I carry the loss with me always. I have two beautiful boys, ages 7 and 6. What I didn't plan on was my husband walking out on me when I was pregnant with my youngest. While this was shocking and traumatic and all the things, I have learned to focus on what I do have.... And I have my boys. I hear you God, I'm not in control, just along for this wild ride and snatching up every single moment of love and light along the way. ❤️❤️❤️ Love to you sister! (I believe I needed that cry🙏😘)
Oh, Mama. Losing a child is so difficult. My daughter was 9 when she passed. She would have been 36 on 7/18. I still miss her every day. I also lost three to miscarriage. I miss them and what they might have been. Even with all the grief life did go on and the pain did ease. And yes, attitude and gratitude are the healers--but so is service such as you are providing on this channel and in your speeches. Life can be heaven amid hell--if we refuse to suffer. When the dog paws you, he isn't being pushy but is petting you, showing affection and love. Thank you. It's a lovely channel and you are a sweet girl. I'm 60, so I can call you a girl. Have a blessed day.
🥲 blessings & hugs. Your story touched my heart. Life is hard, but it's also good. Praise God.
I am so sorry, my heart hurts for your losses.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
Was so honored to get to say "hi" to you at the Homestead Festival a couple of weeks ago. I'm the one that mistakenly called you Jill - until you turned around and I figured out my mistake and you were so gracious !!!! Loved hearing you speak that weekend and just know that my prayers are with you for your grief you have shared with us and I can only marvel at your honesty and graceful spirit in dealing with what you are dealing with. Everybody's "hard" things are different and again - thank you for sharing your life with us !!!! Prayers of comfort to you and your hubby and that your future has more highs than lows !!!
I fully understand your heartbreak. My first baby was stillborn. Too many emotions to explain to anyone and there really isn't much anyone can say to help. But having someone to listen and understand would have helped me through that, almost 40 years ago. I'm sending hugs and love your way.
I'm so sorry Anne... also me too, a little over a year ago. I miscarried just before the Homestead Festival. I debated on whether or not I should still go because I had been looking forward to it so much, but I was devastated and grieving. I decided to go anyway and was blessed to meet you there. I told you I felt socially awkward, and you told me you got ants in your pants from sitting in the grass. It was small, but it made me feel a little better. It all still feels kind of like a dream. I'm glad I went, but it wasn't the experience I was hoping it would be (because of what I was going through, not because the event was lacking). I hope and pray healing and comfort for both of us, and for all the others sharing this grief, and that our dreams will come true. ❤
You have our deepest sympathy. HUGS
Your strength inspires me to tackle the challenges and difficulties in my life that I've been hiding from. I dont want to say how sorry i am for your situation because that feels hollow and generic, instead please let me thank you Anne, the risk taking in making this video and publishing it is so much greater than I face. I hope to be as strong as you and your husband one day.
Take care.
The internet is a horrible place, but know that there are real people all over the world, im in the UK, are thankful to you for helping them
I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. My daughter went through this and it was the most painful thing. Sending you love and comfort. Thank you for speaking out. I think so many people who have suffered through miscarriages have felt so alone.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my first baby boy in my 5th month of pregnancy a little over 30 years ago. Although it is a devastating experience that almost destroyed me, it did get better over time. Even now, I still feel a loss in my heart for that child, but I was blessed to have 2 wonderful sons afterwards.
I just wanted to tell you, I only discovered your UA-cam about a month ago (lazy gardening drew me in!) And you have inspired me more than you could ever know. I'm in the process of a raw land to home purchase of a little over an acre and while waiting for my home to be ready, your videos are giving me so many ideas and inspiration so thank you for being you and sharing your skills, knowledge, and hopeful personality. May you find peace and comfort.
Wow, I had no idea you were even pregnant, let alone a miscarriage. I'm so sorry for your loss, I cannot even begin to imagine what you and your husband have been through. From one of the highest highs to one of the lowest lows in the space of a few months. My heart hurts for you both.
Thank you for sharing your hurts. The algorithm just showed me this video today 6 days after I lost my mom to cancer. I needed to hear this today.
Oh buddy. My heart breaks to hear that. My mom, my best friend and hero was given 6 weeks to live a few years ago. We said our goodbyes and I truly did not know how to do life without her on this planet. She fought hard and is, by no small miracle, still with us almost five years later, but saying goodbye to her, thinking it would be the last time changed the way I have viewed every day since. My heart goes out to you and aches right along with yours ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for speaking about all that you speak about. Thank you for being genuine about your loss and pain. My heart broke at the loss of your baby girl. Bless you both.
My dear sweet friend. I've only recently come across your channel. This video is what I needed to hear today. I spent most of my twenties bedridden after my Army service. I was told I would never have children and we fought for my life to be restored. I needed your perspective today. I know this won't help your pain, but I have so much gratitude for you sharing your journey.
I have experienced several losses but I recently gave birth to my 4th child and barely survived this process. This pregnancy was one of the most challenging I've had yet. I watch gardening and farming videos and wish I could have the plants and animals you all do... Sometimes I see young couples who garden on social media and I just assume they chose a garden over having children but I can see that you would have given anything to have that baby. And I resonate with you more than them.
I was reminded today... that all my heirloom apple trees died this year so I could have this baby. They were overcome with a pest or illness at a point I couldn't even check them. Out of the 100 total trees of different types I planted, only 12 or so remain alive and all the apples are gone. The only thing left in my garden is my mint and my asparagus--which I lovingly refer to as my "Ignore it" garden. My chickens (the only animals we have) were passing away because they were all so old and I wasn't well enough to process them. I know you would have given it all up for your baby too. And I'm so sorry your finish line never came...
"Comparison is the thief of joy" and it was a poignant reminder that the overwhelming challenges I've gone through just to have children, is not alone. And comparing gardens, families or any number of things only leads to more hurt. And gratitude is the only thing that brings more joy. Thank you for the reminder. My heart goes out to you and your sweet husband. I'll continue to send you prayers, love and Light as you are lifted through the rest of this year. Your smile is magnetic and your passion is palpable. YOU are a gift. A treasure. And I hope you feel the love this community around you.
From all of us who are also struggling with pain or sadness or loss or grief or disappointment, thank you Anne, for being brave enough to share your journey, and talk about it. Big hugs and good quiet time around the fire from us to you. Thank you.
Grief is the most personal experience and yet it is universal. Gravity shifts while no one else notices you are trying to walk forward but everything is sideways. It is a struggle every day, time doesn't heal it, it teaches you to walk with the new gravity and honor your loved one in heart beats, tender moments and glimpses of them in sunlight and rain.
🫶🫶🫶🫶I feel your pain..
Much love to you in your time of renewal.
Having gone through a miscarriage in 2007 with my first and only pregnancy, I understand the grief and pain of losing a baby that essentially became the center of our life. I know you know you are not alone in this, but I wanted to reinforce that. I have found that the pain lessened but the grief stays with me. Multiple times during the year I think about how different my life would be if I had carried to term. My child would be 16 this month. My husband and I lead a busy, fulfilled life together that we love, but we will still take moments to reflect on what could have been. Peace to you, and thank you for sharing.
Sending you all the prayers and positive vibes for healing. There are no words to make it easier or better, I know this first hand. I LOVE your content, it is invaluable. Please know you are appreciated so much for your gifts to us!
My heart goes out to you. This kind of grief is so difficult to process. I also lost two baby boys 3 years apart both at 20 weeks preganant. Each time, I got pregnant right away, and the pregnancies seemed normal. We realized that I have an autoimmune disease that caused my body to attack the pregnancies. The babies were healthy and normal. I will never be the same. I was incredibly lucky that I already had 2 babies when I was a little younger and I was able to carry them to term. They are now 15 and 18. Still, not a day goes by that I don't think of the two I lost. Focusing on the present, being in the beauty around me outside, throwing myself into gardens, my music career, projects, and raising the two children I had on this earth helped me survive. You have so much to keep you present in the world, what a beautiful place you live in. May you find comfort in all the beauty you create.
I have not experienced this but her life was definitely worth mourning and celebrating and to me that looks like anyway you need to express it. Praying for you guys
Anne, you’re the “me” I wish I was. My husband and I are in a similar position- but new farm, eventually wanting a family (not sure if that’ll happen), my interests are all over the place but I haven’t gotten the drive to fulfill the things I want. Your videos have been helping me SO much. I’ve struggled with mental health my whole life… and can’t figure out how to make things work AND THEN God brought your vids in my face and gosh just such practical info I can actually put into practice!! Thank you for sharing the good, bad and ugly and for making me laugh here and there too ❤
I continue to admire your strength and courage in sharing your story. Everybody has a story, and it should be ok to share it with loved ones and perfect strangers. Here's to you and all of us who keep on going, especially when it's hard. Wishing you and your family peace. Thanks for sharing.
Anne, we were also a 1 in 5 couple. I also did counseling via internet in later part of my career. You've come a long way and I'm an Adam fan as well. Together is better? sometimes. LOL! Adapt and overcome! Go girl!
That quote sounded like it has been stolen from a Norwegian saying; "shared joy, double joy. Shared sorrow/hardship, halfed sorrow/hardship". Obviously you sharing your sorrow (and joys) has a positive effect on many viewers - hopefully that also has had a positive effect on your sorrow (and joys)
I lost my first grandbaby in March of this year. My prayers are with you and all who endure this 😢
There are no words, just many prayers.
I am sorry for your lost The same thing happened to my daughter now she has a baby boy My best wishes to you and your family
I lost my son when he was 13 and i think GOD that I had the time with him.The hurt and loss never goes away. I thank about my son every day. You did nothing wrong. After a time we must go on with hope in the future. You are a inspiration to many people. The way you get through the many hard times you have had to face through you're life and used them for the good. I don't know if you believe in GOD, but this I can tell you HE believes in you ,Anne of All Trades
When grief is involved, I think it’s best to speak from scabs, until you feel strong enough to speak from your scars, however long that may take you.
If ppl can’t deal w/you until then, well that’s on them, not you. Take care of yourself. Much Loving Hugs to you and thank you for the High value content you provide us🤗💖🙏
There are some wounds that aren’t supposed to heal they make us deeply compassionate for others and more human. It bonds us together with others who expirience loss . I am with you. Xoxo
Anne, you have such a sweet and kind heart. It is hard to write it, but I understand how you feel. God bless you my dear. I’ll be praying for you. Em
There's power in being in the same boat. I'm crying right now bc I hear you.
Oh, you are such a dearheart! I am so sorry for your loss! My daughter just lost her baby a week ago and it’s scorchingly painful. I just found your channel last week and am having a blast watching your sprite of a spirit dance through life. I choked up upon hearing your loss and grateful you shared. From an old lady…you are a mother to many, a daughter to many, a sister to many and we all hurt for your family. Keep smiling, keep loving and laughing, even through the hurt. 🤗
I am so sorry for your loss. You are an inspiration to so many
I lost a son at his birth, but due to horrible circumstances, I didn’t know about it until 25 years afterward. It hit me very, very hard, as I’ve not been able to have any children in the intervening years.
Dear Anne, thank you so much for sharing your grief and, and all your inspirational words and actions. I love your ‘gratitude sunset’ - you’ve inspired me to do the same!
I lost my first child, a boy, at 8 months pregnant, 43 years ago. He just died inside me and I had to ‘birth’ him. I went into hospital the day it was confirmed he was dead; labour was going to be induced the following morning. In the early hours I woke in labour and wandered down the hallway looking for a midwife. Everything was silent. In the little alcove beside the nurses station there was a bassinet with a tiny baby who had clearly been born that night. I stood looking down at him and feeling my dead child inside me and suddenly my heart opened to the tremendous mystery and gift of life and death and how we walk that cycle with all the joys and griefs and effort of it. I was filled with awe and gratitude. It was one of the most profound moments of my life and remains with me vividly to this day.
Love to you and Adam - I'm so sorry for your loss 💕
I’m so sorry for your family’s loss! As someone who walked the road of infertility, I know how that ache to have a child feels all consuming at times. Praying for healing and peace but also that your womb would once again be opened up ♥️ And Congrats on your book!!! 🙌😀 that’s so exciting!!
Oh Anne, sending hugs, and lots of love. Yes that really sucks.
Oh, sweet girl. My heart goes out to you. We experienced three babies we did not get to hold. (I detest the words “miscarriage” or “lost,” as if they were somehow my fault.) You’re right. Perspective does matter. Our babies would be 26, 25, and 25 years old this year. Listening to you try to talk around the boulder in your throat brings it all back afresh. But I promise you, it does get better. It will always hurt. But the scab does turn to scar over time. You are doing one of the best things to help your heart heal - sharing your pain and trying to help others. This world does not know what to do with grief. So it often gets mislabeled as depression, which is too vague and pointless at times. Grief has a reason and can be grown through. And you are growing so beautifully and so beautiful! I’m praying for you. Hugs, many hugs and prayers.
Yep... I'm part of the 1-in-5 club, too. Lost him at 18 weeks when my water broke prematurely. Thank you for sharing and talking about the hard things. It helps others not feel alone. I don't believe we're meant to do the hard things alone. Sometimes we don't have a choice, as you've talked about, but some choose to deny themselves help from others for whatever reason. Asking for help is ALWAYS ok. Asking is a sign of strength, not weakness. Reach out to who you can, even if it's a stranger in the comments on a UA-cam video. ❤
We love ya girl!
Sorry you are having to deal with the loss of your baby girl. Sending hugs. I lost two of my adult children in 2016 and 2018. I wrote a book Truth Be Told a Mother’s Raw Grief. I wrote it for a release and hope for anyone who reads it. Again sending hugs ❤
I only found your channel a couple of months ago. And I cherish the honesty, the wisdom, and thought that you share. You are unapologetically you - and that is beautiful.
I pray that in time, God will turn your mourning into dancing, your sorrow into joy.
Sending big hugs.
When my Dad went into inpatient hospice and passed away 4 days later it was one of the most absolutely painfull experiences of my 50+ years of life. But almost 5 years later, I remember it as both the worst of times and the best of times. What makes the bitter sweet is when people come alongside you who care and want to encourage you that it won't be easy, but you will make it.
Thank you for being transparent - it takes a lot of courage and you are making a difference by doing it. Hugs!
It is important. If you ever need to talk I am here for you. I hope your heart can find some ease, I feel like it is a permanent ache.
All the very best, Anne. Rest well. Heal and feel loved.
I cried for you as I watched this. I, too, know the heartache of losing a baby. We wanted a football team with a few cheerleaders ... but after losing 5 babies, we decided a solitaire team will be great. I spent many weeks on bedrest but finally am Mom to 3 'youngsters' (current ages 41, 40, and 38). And - never stop promoting mental health. Those sessions have saved soooo many of us all. God bless you and all your wild ideas. I've got my youngest hooked on your videos and attempting your gardening technique on her corner lot in Youngstown, Ohio. ❤❤
Oh, Anne ❤ I’m so sorry you had to bury your baby girl. I can’t imagine how hard that was and still is. 😢 I know we, as your viewers, are all here for you and feel your sadness and pain along with you. But I hope that there are people in your real life circle that are surrounding you with love and support as well.
My daughter suffered brain damage due to oxygen loss at birth, and although she did survive and is still with us, we almost lost her a couple times and it’s been a really long and isolating road to “recovery”. If there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that although the experience of going through something difficult like this is very personal and feels lonely, you are not alone. People will surround you with love and support, if you let them. I think people do truly want to help and be there, it’s just one of those things that there are no words unless you’ve been through it yourself. And you’re right that it just sucks and It’s hard to see that any possible good could come from it. But God has a way of taking the most excruciatingly painful experiences and somehow making it less painful as the wound heals. My daughter gets books from the Dolly pardon imagination library, and one of the recent ones was about raindrops and rainbows, and the very last sentence is “I don’t mind rain because I know, without raindrops there is no rainbow.” When we go through the hard times, it makes the good times all the sweeter. I pray that you’ll get your rainbow baby soon ❤❤❤
I am truly sorry. There are no words that anyone can say to take away the pain you are going thru. I lost a baby in the middle of my 4 children and that was devastating to me and I don’t know what you’re going thru because everyone is different and works thru this differently. I will pray that you are blessed with a family to share all of the things you share with us.