Vanessa Van Edwards - The Secret Language To Charismatic Communication (Cues)
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- Опубліковано 16 кві 2022
- LEARN MORE ABOUT MY WORK:
Podcast: The Learning Leader Show: learningleader.com/podcast/
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GUEST NOTES: Vanessa Van Edwards is the Lead Investigator at Science of People. She is the bestselling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People, translated into 16 languages. More than 50 million people watch her engaging UA-cam tutorials and TEDx Talk. Vanessa works with entrepreneurs, growing businesses, and trillion-dollar companies; and has been featured on CNN, BBC, CBS Mornings, Fast Company, Inc. Magazine, USA Today, Entrepreneur Magazine, The Today Show, and many more. Her latest book is called Cues: Master The Secret Language of Charismatic Communication.
RECOMMENDED ESSAYS:
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2021 Year In Review & Goals For 2022: learningleader.com/2021review/
WHO AM I?
I’m Ryan Hawk and I’m a writer, podcaster, advisor, and teacher. My favorite thing to do is have a deep, long-form conversation with a thoughtful person. Fortunately, I get to do that often on my podcast, The Learning Leader Show. I created The Learning Leader Show in 2015 as a way for me to follow my curiosity about leadership and excellence with great rigor. It has since been listened to by millions of people in more than 150 countries.
Additionally, I’ve written and published two books. My first: Welcome To Management was named “the best leadership book of 2020” by Forbes. My second: The Pursuit of Excellence ranked at the top of the Amazon charts and Patrick Lencioni said, “this is a must-read book if you care to live an excellent life.”
When I’m not recording podcasts or writing books, I try to help leaders be more effective. Some of the ways I do that: Hosting Learning Leader Circles (paid mastermind groups), 1:1 advising for executives, and my online school, The Learning Leader Academy. Additionally, I’ve delivered keynote speeches all over the world for thousands of people.
Thus isn't ideal for me. I use UA-cam to fall asleep and her content has me hanging on every word. Amazing. Woman.
How to talk a lot but say nothing specific. A master class in generalization
Tip from someone who survived toxicity: be REALLY careful with warmth (friendliness, smiles, energetic voice, etc). Society loooves that stuff and think "what a nice person!" That niceness can be hiding someone really cruel and cold. Don't fall for that.
Plastics are embedded
@@jasonwhitman94g
gzhhhhhhhhhh
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Zuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgzzzgh
I love the tip to look wherever the person you are talking to looks when they keep looking over your shoulder. I've done that and it works wonderfully
I love Vanessa and found her very recently, she inspired me to learn more about communication as I am also very socially awkward with lots of anxiety around most people - I can't wait to read both books. Great interview 👍
If I could ask her one question it would be: How does emotional trauma effect the cues people send? Is it possible a person sends cues that are perceived by others as negative but are really just part of that persons coping mechanism do to trauma?
It's almost like 3 years post covid, and the fragile spirit many people have, some women don't even want anyone looking at them. Being able to read their body language determines whether or not I shake a hand, touch a arm ,pat a shoulder .
There's a big difference between being a charismatic guy and someone clever and empathic ready for being used by other for their own ends
I figured this out when as a shy teen, I observe people .
Vanessa, thank you!! You got IT!!
Ryans voice is warm & mesmerizing
I really enjoyed these insights about warmth and being competent.
Yeah Vanessa! I love what you bring. Thank you!
Me too!
❤
Only 1/2 way through this interview and had to order "Cues". This speaks so deeply to me. I am also socially awkward but have genuine and honest information to spread. Being an INFJ, it is not easy to be extroverted in crowds. Thank you Vanessa for this opportunity to improve. I am so glad I hit play on this video!
😊😊😊😊
Infj the most rare type all of a sudden EVERYONE is a fn Infj now days 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙄🙄🙄🙄
@@daviedood2503 Exactly! The others have been diluting the meaning. Just like the word narcissist has lost its meaning with all the finger pointing in today's world.
I took the Myers-Briggs test years ago when it was barely known, like the now popular INFJ.
Reminds me of when I learned Reiki and the Akashic Records in 1998 before many people even knew what they were. Now everyone is a Reiki Master or an Akashic Record reader!
But you tell me...
I have a Masters Degree in Economics, did three years of corporate and hated it...couldn't fit in.
Recieved an energy healing in 1997, which helped feel so good inside (for the first time) I quit my job the next day to pursue those healing frequencies. I could sense I could heal myself and eventually others on deep levels and HAD to do it.
Followed that path by immersing myself for 5 years at a metaphysical bookstore. Right after being hired, became the workshop coordinator and scheduled teachers and healers to present their workshops. This gave me an opportunity to meet many important people within the Chicago healing and spiritual community. It also gave me a place I could work with private clients when not on their clock.
When I was just starting as a Reiki practitioner and had learned how to open the Akashic Records from Linda Howe, I was able to self learn how to use the Records as a high vibrational healing method. (Actually I recieved a lot of guidance from higher dimensions). Outside of the classes I took from Linda, I never did readings like everyone else. I'm one of the few that uses the Akashic Records to connect to the Light Bodies of the recipients and use that for healing frequencies. Since then have been giving clients Akashic Blueprint Integration sessions for 25 years in-person and remotely.
Recently began teaching and transfering this unique healing method to my students. Been teaching Reiki since 2002, but now teaching my own work that was developed over time and it is an advanced healing method.
Maybe to you, I'm just a guy claiming to be what everyone else is ...claiming. But I have forged a path following the work I love in a way very few have found. It is energy frequency based and helps others improve their lives.
Of course, thanks for reading my comment and adding your insights. 👍🏻
BTW guess what? I'm intuitive enough to know your not likely a total A$$, just a Smart A$$. 🤔🤔🤔🤣🤣🤣
How's that Sherlock?
@@daviedood2503 not me, I roll INFP
@@akashicenergy1470 well if I'm a smart a$$, I guess that's better than being a dumb one like you "Sherlock". Anyone can type out a make believe wish-list of what they'd like to be. If u pay someone enough money, of course they'll print out a nice crisp certificate for you. 🤣😆 Doesn't mean anything is authentic. So yes, u said it. You're just some guy in the UA-cam comment section claiming to be "what ever". 🤣
Vanessa, i am super blessed listening to you. You are so inspiring
Agreed
@Ryan Hawk
Ur so inspiring..thanks for your great advice! And it helps me alot to be a happy person..thank u so much, u put a smile on my face.😊....i raelly appreciated.❤ may our almighty god take care of amd ur family and protect u from any harm🙏
❣I watched you Vanessa, on CBS Mornings with Gayle, Tony, and Nate! YOu were wonderful and gave amazing tips for interviews!❣
Great interview! Thank you
I loved your tips.
Thanks for sharing this
Wow, your steps that you figured out, i do these things automatically and always have. My friends and husband call me a "witch" as im told i spellbound people.
She’s fantastic. Listened twice.
Love it, agreed
🤣
Love this so much
Thanks I love this
Vanessa, you are an awesome person.
Awesome conversation 😊🎉
Vanessa, it looks like you are sitting on the toilet in your bathroom.....I do believe it's probably a screen but my FIRST impression was you were in the john.!! P.S.....love your vibe.
My first impression was that it was a paper screen or a room divider. Haha, maybe you see what you want to see it are thinking at that moment:) However now that I read that comment, I can’t unsee a fashionable water closet. Back to the real topic, great video and I wouldn’t worry about the screen:)
I also saw a bathroom ar first until my eyes adjusted 😅
Bruh. Is that the only thing you took from this interview. 😂 Your focus needs more work.
It is just a screen to cut off the echo.
@@justus5164 I also took away that her bathroom only has paper screens
When I watch these clips, I most often perceive that this is geared towards developing or refining people who are lacking normal human emotions, void of empathy, and for shaping and molding Narcissists on the entire vast spectrum and categories from Cerebral Narcissists at the psychopathic level, to you name it.
Good page.thanks.
I'm new and this was awesome 😎
Wow thank you 👍😊
I listen to your podcasts regularly, as they support the content I teach in my college classes. This one is exceptional and applicable to practically all ages, all fields of study, and absolutely EVERY industry! Great choice Ryan and I'm thrilled to be introduced to Vanessa's work!
Thank you Brenda!
As an engineer I found her comment about presentations for engineers hilarious and 💯. Her insights on human behavior are incredible 💪
💯
Thank you
Lmfao now im imagining her on the jon!!!!!😂😂shes great tho 🤣
Vanessa let me congratulate you because whatever you didn't have, you got It now
That’s it I’m buying it, you’re just too good Vanessa. Never know if you’re genuine because you have such great control on cues but I love it anyway 😂
Trust and Competence are a 2 way street. Usually when someone is "Love Bombing" you with flattery up front, they are setting a trap for you. Projecting confidence is another tricky thing to do. Unless you have seen it all, done it all, there is always a snag or two that could bring the whole house of cards down, along with all the confidence people had in you. I think it's better to be modest, set expectations, and ease into relationships if you are in it for the long haul. Otherwise, the relationship lasts as long as the time-share is up for sale. A truly competent person really won't need your help for that much and often times, it's much easier for them just to do it themselves than to try and mentor someone to do the job to their standards. Trust is attained by being forthright about all potential negative scenarios/trying to allay any fear.
I appreciate your comment.
How do you two change lives when we are set in our ways, must be telling the truth!
Can I Trust You, Can I Rely On You, Warmth, Friendliness, Competence, Efficiency
Bill Clinton, for all his weaknesses with the ladies, was a very likable person. You never felt that the man had a vicious bone in his body.
Yes, he was a con man
Warmth & competance🎉
I felt the same, also thought Vanessa was in a toilet x but yes content awesome thanks
I am hyper focused and aiming for total mastery. This is helpful information.
Bust out laughing at the 32 minute mark! "That's how distracting it is, friend!"
1. Warmth is also vulnerability. Sharing the truth.
If it’s too good to be true 95% of the time it is .
Trust & competence
Vanessa you are so amusing really I love your vibe. Why your twiter acount has been suspended ? ?
Her Twitter isn't suspended. Maybe it looked like her
@ handle starts with a W?
But it is 2 V's
2. Competence is direct ability. Eg “ Come and talk to me.”
should we buy the captivate book or the cues book first
We can all relate to her background because I think we all zoom from the bathroom don't we? Just me??
Gotcha..🎯
Ryan Hawk you have very good gravely voice, were you announcer or in radio in the past?
Thanks! Primarily a podcaster for the past decade
Vanessa is brilliant. Ryan Hawk would look down a lot and I was like uhhhh….wtf
Me too,I didn't like it but thought I was being silly
He’s taking notes
The question inflection (?) aspect may not be applicable to Aussies - as we do have speak differently and have different vocal affectations
00:22:00 laughter is medicine
👏🏻
42:44
When I hear those fuzzy and warm words in a business setting I think: wonder what kind of bad news/extra work is being sugar coated. They just seem out of place in a work setting.
they strike dread in the heart 😄
I think that depends on the type of work one does. When working in social services I think being warm and genuine, compassionate and competent allows people to feel trust in you. And when making decisions that affect other people’s lives trust is important.
she seems like a fun time
we Brazilian citizens love to hug and kiss !!!!! hahaha
Cool
I only give side hugs because I realized that people can feel my ample breast on their body's. And some men would hug me very long. It's creepy.
Now I need to know the cup size, for science
@@yashara1e 😆 hahaha
Vaness Van Edwards has A Beautiful Voice,🌐🛡️🥰🚭 Charisma!
Cop
God is love❤❤❤
Vanessa is talking about back grounds and it look like she is talking inside of a bathroom lol
This wst American futur to forward?
Way are u guys but camera in somebody house and keep waching them ?
How do you explain the charisma of Trump? I think there's an extra ingredient some people have--for better or for worse.
It's not charisma. It's the hate and ignorance they can all relate to
@@dominoediggs4790the irony is that all you nerds who have 0 empathy towards folks on the other side of the aisle are the real hateful ones
@@dominoediggs4790 It's not always the nice, positive people who have charisma.
My stepson had it until he was about grade 11 and then he lost it. From there he continued to lose it. To a point where he is 40 years old now and barely employable.
It might be helpful for him to explore what traumatic thing happened to him in 11th grade and do therapeutic talking around it.
@@AlexeiTetenovexactly!
I was very similar due to a chain of traumatic events (rarely anyone knew about them, not even my family) for 17 years!!! Until i started to get it back with lots of meditation and work etc
Hello
14:30 … “Remember, it’s super authentic if you have good intention.”
I agree it’s authentic, but sometimes a person can be authentically ignorant (myself included)
Why are you keep saying the mk is coming down but you keep loading up long term at stocks?
Mk has gone upote than 20% since bottom last October. Do you not see that we are officially in the bull market ?
Maybe some are born with 'it'. Maybe it's Maybeline.
Maybe they’re born with it, maybe it’s lucifarianism ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Did we fail to are country to poor new ?
I'm calling bs. Having to remember to do social things that don't come naturally IS exhausting.
I can not agree with what Vanessa mentioned about Ryan background. I see the background as bit overdone, bit mess and not much professional. Vanessa was giving a fake answer and I can spot in her facial expression.
Pffft...laugh at you 🎪 🤡 🤣 🤣 😂
You’re right. She lack normal healthy human emotion. She’s a Narcissist.
I still believe 80% is physical attractiveness.
That’s a first impression which is important but mainly it is aptitude and communication
And that’s in the eye of the beholder.
Vanessa gives great advice but if it’s not natural or super authentic a socially apt person can immediately pick it up as rehearsed behavior.
Exactly!
Do u wst new wT is my problembto American people ?
“Most people don’t have a book”. ??!!!!??
She meant most people don't have books they wrote themselves.
I'm here because she was recommended by another expert but LMFAO, she looks like she is on the toilet! 🤣 Hope she doesn't use that background often. 🤣
😂😢
I didn't ask for it bew u see me using it snow and new u guts are tolk about it and but camera in my house keep wzt ching me and wat wen ur futur going to be in long run ?
I am God
Based on the way you described your former awkward self, it sounds like you might have a touch of the 'tism. A lot of very intelligent people lack social skills.
Not ‘tism 😂 I’m part of the club tho
You trying to teach a medical Dr warmth? Isn't that supposed to be basic for healthcare workers? How about if we address why people don't have warmth instead of focusing on the symptoms.
Exactly. People chose careers for various reasons, and most people in the medical field lack normal human emotions, to be honest. The general population has become extremely desensitized, partly through television programming and partly through sin.
We new that u people are abouse me and laid about me I dont do rong or break ur low
I don’t like how often she closes her eyes when she’s talking. I don’t know if this is one of her cues, but I find it disingenuous.
Question inflection, Australian Question Accent or High Rising Intonation all amount to the same thing. Weakened perceived authority. Plus a dental drill to the ears.
This is a pet peeve and I wish Americans and Australians would scrub it from their speech. The problem is it's a mind virus spread through television and radio. Nobody in the U.K. ever spoke like this until the Australian soap Neighbours aired and the way of speaking caught on. It's been in speech patterns ever since.
It's a particular problem with the young where every second word might sound like a question.
Ryan is looking down the whole time and nodding his head like a bobblehead. Clearly he isn't listening. It looks like he is texting offscreen.
I think he’s taking notes
It's one handed, he's nodding along when she makes particular points, he holds a pen in that hand, I'm pretty sure he is taking notes to get info and form his next questions.
Wen u guts come looking for me I was in drug u guts are one but me live with drug I did n
Look wat are u doing ? Poor futur
Someone who is not liakble or charismatic at all teaches charisma. The irony!
They new this coco long time ago and laid to me look wzt hoppen to ther country colpt to poor in life
Wat American people Dinkins about they don't care ther country is going down to poor
Look wat ur futur right new ? Is colp to poor in life
Cancel Ryan Hawk
This 🤡..Hawk seems very self serving...pffft hmmmph
A lot of this is…..simply common sense ! 😂😂😂 this host is “omg- over this??? Seriously younger generation wasn’t taught much & haven’t much character strength!