@@NonanoN-er6de 🤔hmmm so some men prefer to 'support a team, with no responsibilities...' vs being/building a team with a woman... wow just WOW! 👀💅 Smh...
Mia Hailey exactly and i think from that point when it happens heres where women go wrong. When they're thinking that its cute for him to start off that way indirectly sexually towards them and dont check him then it gives the go ahead for the man to think at some point your gonna be fucking once he gets through those barriers. Nowadays some women have none so and thats kind of the standard now shown to men so they dont really have to try hard if atall to be committed when they have so many options. They'll be atleast one woman who would go with a man whos just wanting a fuck smdh
Mia Hailey right! I've tried online dating, and I've had to remind many men: I'm not desperate, I just don't have time to meet guys in my area (due to work and geographic location). I'm not here for sex, you don't know me like that, and you obviously have not READ my profile, bc I AM looking for something serious.
I recently met a guy and the first date he wanted was at his house after 12 am. I quickly let him know I was not going to his house and that was too late. The next night he brought up taking me to the movies. Needless to say that was a wrap after 9pm. He never called txt or anything. So when/if I hear from him again I'll definitely let him know....It was nice to have met him.
Was on the phone with this "nice guy I was dating. He "playfully" told me to STFU over the phone..I told him straight up "don't talk to me like that" and checked him about how he was talking to me like I was one of his boys or something. with no second thought he apologized and switched it up. No matter the guy they all try you. Like he said when they check that temperature BURN THEM. I don't tolerate any form of disrespect not even as a joke.
You know when you're really done? When you're too exhausted to fight with him, have no energy to tell him anymore everything that's wrong. When you don't even tell him it's finished. You quietly walk away, not look back. At that point you accepted it, you tried hard but it just wasn't worth any more time nor precious energy. Something in you just let go.
Baby, that's when you've already allowed him to drag you for a while. If we follow the advice and BURN EM the FIRST time, we don't get to the point of exhausted.
Ladies the only person you can control or check is yourself. When you see something you don't agree, leave. Sometimes a response isn't needed. I don't waste energy no more.
Exactly right. Derrick is right but... Are we animals? Are we adults? Do I really need to educate and discipline a man??!! I’m sorry, I got better things to do.
We have to admit. A lot of men are like this because of broken homes and because us women as a WHOLE tolerate so much from men. Things that's supposed to be a red flag, even if it's small, we tend to let it slide. We got to do better ladies. Derrick is like my Internet father. He's telling me things my daddy should have told me. I'm 21 and I've made bad decisions with 2 guys and I don't plan on being naive anymore. Having a father in the home is VERY important. I feel if my mom and dad was together I'd know what REAL love looked like and I wouldn't settle just to feel something I never felt from my dad. But thank you Derrick.
i think some of this also has to do with men thinking we're supposed to mind read whatever tricks they have up their sleeves. we are not like them, we think and do things differently than them, but they assume we know what they've plotted or planned. we don't. for them to assume we just let people get away with stuff just because we don't respond the way they want us to is ridiculous. for example, i often just observe things and don't voice my thoughts when something seems off or crazy, mainly because i'm just thinking about what just happened. so, just because i don't tell the guy that i think he's cray-cray for calling women names doesn't mean i am not thinking it. but some men, for some self-centered reason, have decided i'm supposed to react the way they want me to. i can watch someone get their head decapitated by isis and not say anything because i'm busy taking in what is going on. that's how weird i am :p therefore, i'm not going to react. i can't help it, that's how i am. and some men see that silent behavior as weakness because i didn't say something to them when they did something crazy to test me.
And girls if he gets angry when you polietly and sternly put him in his place then you dodged a bullet because he obviously wasnt looking for the right things
I just recently ended a relationship because of a similar issue. He kept coming at me with this “stories” about how a girl like me ended up alone because she gave up on a good man. He then said me getting triggered after sharing how I was scared of cat calling wasn’t important. And then got mad at me when I raised my voice at him when he wouldn’t allow me to explain to him that part of being in a relationship was sharing both pain and happiness, that it’s part of communication and understanding. So i ended it
Politely? Did you not hear what he said in the video??? SCOLDING HOT 🔥. You dodged not a bullet but an abusive individual and you also set clear boundaries not to be tampered with.
The worst is when a guy thinks it's cool to talk down about his past relationships to you. That just shows his real feelings about other women and that he'll probably do the same to you... It's time to walk away and smile! He has no respect in him.
Yep! My ex at the very beginning continued to brand his ex a psycho. Two sides to every story. Going by how he treated me she probably called him out on his BS and he was gaslighting her.
I don't have those issue..my father taught me to fear no man. I spoke w/my dad about his teaching and how it hard to maintain a relationship bc I'm outspoken. My father states; "f!ck that! It's going to take a strong man to handle you but he'll also know not to try you". After that I understood. Congrats Derrick on your success!
I have an issue with some of your father's teachings. Why does it have to take a strong man to handle a woman like you? Are you that difficult to get along with? Why can't someone just enjoy companionship without the burden of a woman's wrath? Even the bible warn men to avoid a woman that has a bad behavior.
Proph 99 - not for me to "question" my Dad. No - I'm easy to get along with BUT I don't have the energy to entertain nonsense therefore I'm direct. Either you respect my position or not...truthfully I'm respected by all men.
With regards to my "wrath" - if your perception of my statement lead you to me being confrontational or combative that isn't why I shared my story. I say this with NO shade- Proph 99.
I love when 2 people can have a respectful conversation on UA-cam lol like seriously...it's refreshing to see people challenging each other in a sense and not popping off on each other. Kudos!
my ex husband tried to check my temperature by telling me to " go downstairs and prepare him lunch" . I was preparing for two back to back exams and was very busy but him did not seem to care. so I told him that " you have two hands and feet. Go do it yourself ". He was so shocked by my response and never tried to treat me like his servant again. Like Derrick said " a man will treat you exactly the way you allow him to. My ex friend said that my standards were too high and I might end up all alone. She was insecure and dealt with a lot of foolishness from her kids father because she said that he was the best she could do. I found my guy who respects me and I don't even have to worry about burning him because he knows I will not tolerate nonsense
@Zoe Billionz no one is perfect. We are all human and after we get used to someone after a time in a relationship, behaviour can change. But if you remember to want to be treated in a certain way and he does and understands it right away, it is absolutly okay and normal. It's life, not a disney film. Excuse my english, I am German (:
@Zoe Billionz That's what she said. She found someone who will never try her. She gave a comparison of her past and present relationship as a testimony to abuse.
If your husband aks you to prepaire food for him is not abuse, always remember what you promise him on your wedding day. If he doesn't understand time your busy just talk to him in a respectful way
New texture... I don't even joke with my other half about something of that sort and vice versa... I hope that new texture is willing to tolerate you; the story can stay the same, just the characters change...
I POLITELY AND STERNLY PUT THESE MEN IN THEIR PLACE. I STAY POLITE, BECAUSE I'M CHOOSY WITH MY WORDS. I WILL CRUSH YOUR SOUL, YOUR AMBITION TO APPROACH NOT ONLY ME BUT THE NEXT WOMAN HE TRIES WITH THAT CRAP.
AND NOT ONLY THE VERBAL ABUSE, BUT HOW HE REFERS TO OTHER FEMALES IN MY PRESENCE. NOT EVEN THEIR "BABY MAMA" NOPE. 'EXCUSE ME? OH YOU MEAN YOUR SON'S OR DAUGHTER'S MOTHER?' THEY'RE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO TEXT ME WITH POOR GRAMMAR. NOT ALLOW. IT SUGGESTS TO ME THAT THEY ARE TOO COMFORTABLE IN MY PRESENCE. I'M TOO OLD FOR THAT.
Lavica Wiggins Yes..i feel that..crush the soul..and do it so lady like they don't even understand what the fuck just happened to their asses...i like u ..i digg that !!!!
Yes, you do have to politely but sternly let 'em know because some of these men have such fragile ego's that they'll swell up on you on try square up with you like you're a man. Sad, but I've seen it happen. Thank goodness I've never had to experience it first hand.
My husband told me straight up he wanted to cheat on me... I didn’t say a word because I was just stunned...married for 28 years... needless to say we’re not together...
This happened to a lady I used to know. And let me tell you, she was drop dead gorgeous! None of those "let herself go after 15 years and 2 kids so what did she expect?" BS cliches. But she picked herself up and told him to go for his life, just without her in it :)
Right, I totally agree... had one guy text me and ask can he come lay down with me, I politely told him off... his response was"I was just joking". Joking my ass, if I would have said yes, I guarantee you he would have been over here with the quickness. That's why I'm single and glad to be. I don't have time to train or raise a grown ass man.
My Dad told me to make sure I have a man that I respect, can't run over and respects himself, let alone anyone who thinks it's possible to be disrespectful and stay in my presence. I know where the door is, when to leave and how to escort someone to it. Being single is not a bad thing at all! I will wait until I am blessed with a good man... time is on my side as I grow in to the woman I want to be.
This video has revolutionized my dating life! I hadn't dated in over 7 years and, as a woman over 40, it gives space for the right man with right-side-up intentions. Thank for sharing your wisdom.
My boyfriend tried calling me the B word I turned and told him to leave that he was not allowed to direapect me ever.and not to come back until he could be a respectful man.I don't play those games .I do not raise my voice or call him out by a name .I treat him with respect so I expect it back.its not something I will ever bend on.
Lil G BGD yup My last one and I got into a discussion about politics and he didn’t like being disagreed with so he told me to F you I told him to leave. We’re done here
My mother once said, stand up for yourself and check him at the beginning then if he threatens to leave then welcome him the way out. If that man wants to leave you heard will anyways. Bye bye👏💅
Jennifer A. Exactly- I’m not living life on my toes, on the defensive and lookout for disrespect and bullshit. That depletes feminine energy, I’d rather drop your ass on site.
Derrick Jaxn Hey Derrick. I've recently discovered u in the last 3 months or so & Im glad that I did. Needless to say that to hear a rational, open minded, objective,young "man", share his perspective is almost unimaginable. So this is my ordeal, I'd been seeing someone for the past year that was merely based upon hookin up. There were no dates, dinners, or even Netflix & chill. Just straight hook up sessions. Im older, late 30's. No children. Never married. Now, just a few days ago, this person asked to come over to of course hook up. As he attempted to get things started, the chemistry felt off & I stopped him before things really began. The next day he tells me things weren't fresh enough to his liking. So after you've placed your fingers there, placed those same fingers in your mouth, & then placed your face in the same place, when were you sure that it wasn't right? How do I get men like this to not approach me, let alone become involved with? I've experienced some physical trauma. So I truly believe that the men I attract believe that Im so desperate for a man, according to their perception of my appearance, that they believe that I'll take it any way I can get it. That is so not the case. Scars or not, dick is not the center of my universe. How do I convey that & not come across as angry or misunderstood?
ashley hawkins exactly and just like man don't tolerate a woman doing them wrong we as women should not tolerate the same from them! that's why men do the things they do because women forgive them because we have been taught that it's acceptable for men to do wrong because it's in their nature, what kind of lie is that when we all deserve respect!!
I agree. People will test you just to see how far they can go, and that’s when you shock the hell right out of them and burn the top layer of skin clean off. They’ll come correct, or go away for good 👀. It’s okay to have a good heart ♥️ but it’s also okay to let folk know from the door, don’t play with me. We train people how to treat us by what we allow👍🏽 thumbs up.
@@khosiroyalhighness4965 exactly it doesn't say anything about the woman. The only thing she can do is saying stop no in time. If they leave when they don't get their way they are not looking for love anyway.
I like being stuck up. I don't play the radio. Which, by the way is why a lot of people seem to think I am still single... My thought on this is: Yes, that is exactly why I am still single. As a woman, and future wife, my duty is to help my man be the best version of himself possible. And his job is to do the same in my life. I can not do my job allowing any man to be less than I know I deserve. I'm am cool being single until the man who has sense enough to appreciate the treasure he has in a woman who regards herself highly and holds him to a higher standard. Who gives, a fuck about any old S.A.M and what he wants or thinks... (S.A.M = Sorry Ass Man). A man has to be right or be gone when it comes to me and my time...Period.
Talibah Aset preachhhhhhhhhh! I love your confidence and that you aren't afraid to walk away. this will definitely inspire others to hopefully do the same,myself included.
Cheyenne Michelle-Rena Thanks. I was not always this way. I have been through a lot in my life. Eventually, I stepped into my own power. I will tell you of youu ever get enough of what you don't want, it will make you pretty clear about what you do want. Then, it is up to you to demand it. I am happy with myself. I am not lacking anything. I do not need a man. I do want a man to share my life with. I am pretty picky about the qualities he should possses. I am not unrealistically waiting for a perfect man, but the one that is looking for me is perfectly suited to me. I have no problem waiting until he shows up. I am sure we will recognize each other. In the meantime, I date and I enjoy the company/attention of men... I am the one who is always in control of what I will and will not allow. If I want to have sex with a man. I do. If I don't there is nothing he can say to make me. In a relationship, there area areas where I will compromise... and then there are some things that I am not going to move on, because I don't want it in my life... key word MY.
I'm guilty of letting guys test me to an extent. I react in luke warm manner trying to be mature. All the while, I'm making mental notes. Then after the last straw, I'll just block and ignore them, which I'm a savage at, and they feel like it's coming out of nowhere. 😏
Umm I don't know Yup! Because burning them gives them the hint to try harder and possibly get yourself played and not see who they really are. Not trying to change any guy. Trying to see what he's about on his own moral compass.
Gotta be like that sometimes. But then again its best to not hold all that in let them know how u feel immediately and if there not receptive ignore them. Saves yourself stress nobody deserves emotional abuse or to be treated horribly for no reason whats so ever.
This is GOLD. This channel? Your advice and this "public service announcement" that you are providing for women???? PURE GOLD. Listen up ladies, cuz no one on UA-cam is telling you what you need to hear like this man does. EXCELLENT VIDEOS.
I love that there's finally a man online giving out sound relationship advice that is psychically healthy to women. There are far too many channels on UA-cam run by black men that are dedicated to putting down black women posing as dating advice. It's a disturbing trend.
I've never met a man that talked like that around me, but if I did, I would definitely check him. He wouldn't be boyfriend material, in my book. Period.
Definitely burned him and his response was 'I can't be myself around you. I like to talk shit but I am always so guarded because I don't know what will upset you and me being myself is a prerequisite to things moving forward', and he pulled the 'other women are okay with this type of talk' card! Boy bye, go to the other women. And I'm officially #teamJaxn
My best friend told me this. Every time my boyfriend and I have a disagreement, he tells me. In the past when a girlfriend got on my nerves, I pack my things and leave.Well, that happen to me twice. The first time, I moved out and when he got off from work, the only thing left in the apartment was his toothbrush and I even took the toothpaste! Next time. I packed his clothes in 3 big garbage bags. Drop them off at his brothers house. If you don't want me, then I can do without you!
Thankyou Derrick for doing your best to teach women how to protect themselves. You've taught me so much and I'm grateful that your spreading such important information for us. I wasn't raised right, i was literally thrown out to the wolves at a young age. Now in my mid twenties I'm learning who I am and learning things from people like you that I should've been taught when I was younger, but Ive had no guidance in my life. I've been through many damaging and abusive relationships, but now I'm done being blind and my level up game is no joke. Thankyou for your wisdom, God bless you!
Man, tell me about those "temperature checkers". I've had too many of those and eventually, IT GETS FRUSTRATING! So I'm at the point that I will burn a guy ASAP when I sense this type of b.s. There's too much happening in life in general, so my tolerance is at a all time negative percent. Great topic!
Derrick, thank you so much. I needed to hear this. I've been too tolerant because dudes told me that I was too serious or uptight. No man has ever kept it real like you just did. You're a blessing.
the women who are raised with father's in the household will be strong minded period! daddy's little girl. a true daddy will equip his daughter with a knowledge only a man knows! big up to my daddy who raised me as a youth after my mother passed.
Not true. I’m a single mother household and my mother ( who has passed away) was a strong hard working mother who taught me not to take any crap and I don’t. I do see however lots of girls that grew up with terrible father figures that get abused. It depends really!
AMEN to what you wrote. I am/ was a Daddy's girl. All my life until his death. R.I.H Dad. When my parents separated I stayed with him. He schooled me in male behavior. I was blessed indeed to have such a great Dad.
Thank you for this! This is such an important message. I always thought I was smarter and better than allowing a man to treat me poorly. But abusive men groom you slowly. From small comments to pushing your boundaries. For me it escalated to physical abuse I never thought I’d allow. It is so important for women to understand this. Many of us appreciate the hard truths you are telling us.
this is good. I get accused of being a prude all the time because I'm constantly checking guys and they look at me like I'm crazy. for a minute I thought I was being too hard core but I began to think I Gotta Stick to my guns and they respect me because I make them.
You know I get the same problem I'm always checking guys putting them in their place if I'm walking in a crowd somewhere in the main tries to get my attention by grabbing my arm I turn around and snap on him fast and they look at me like I'm crazy or I'm so uptight because I'm putting them in their place about how to be respectful and how to have just proper etiquette to a woman because nowadays many don't
That's the best advice I've ever heard! My narcissistic mother taught me to "accept " everyone's disrespect, this has been the hardest habit to break...I APPRECIATE YOU! You dont know how much you're helping me...
Kid you not, this literally happened to me yesterday. I respectfully approached the guy I’d been on a couple of dates with to tell him that a conversation that was had infront of me between him and a mate made me feel “uncomfortable”. They were having a joking about “getting pussy”. I was polite but firm. And he flew off the handle. Called me “self absorbed” and “precious”. So told him that it’s best we let it be an deleted him off all social media immediately. I’d been feeling a little flat today. But watching this video has made me feel so much better!! Thank you!!!
Thank you for this video! I have burnt two exs who were trying to creep back into my life with the help of watching this video! You are the strength I need when I am feeling weak! God bless 🙏🏼💪🏽💕
There areany youtubers around talking about relationships.. You're the first genuine person one.. Love the practical aspect of it... Plus you're pleasant to look at... Much thanks🤗🤗🤗
I myself subscribed two months ago. I was in a toxic relationship for 3yrs. I kept justifying and made excuses for everything, I was even in denial. God have appointed you to enlighten others. you have a calling and a gift. I cut my ex off like a bad tumor. I realize what I allowed. learning to love me. I now know my worth i have moments but i know and even SAY "this to shall pass," and it's to damn bad for him.. I kno he was a Good loss. I have a testimony. but Derrick thank u. don't stop.. please don't stop. I believe this is just the beginning for you.
Taren Williams me too because before I became a teacher i was that type of sub and although we have fun in my class I still give and expect a lot of respect from my students
Taren Williams yea......I'm the sub they see and they are like "oh we don't have to do stuff today" and I asked my friend why they barely behaved and she said "Because you allow it" so once I put my foot down and they saw I was serious, they respected me lol. had to send a few students to the Dean's office,but after that, class listened to my directions .
Amen! I've been called stuck up too serious,etc Even had a male friend tell me I keep it too real and some men don't know how to handle a woman my type. Just because I check what I am not going to put up with nor accept. True fact:when you let something small slide, they'll keep trying you. Things need to be addressed wheter big or small if they're making you feel some type of way. When you know your worth then there's zero tolerance for bs!
OMMGGG!!!! One of my gf's told me about you. I just love how you keep it real. Thank you for teaching and explaining how to interpret all these mind games guys try.
And some guys don't listen when you tell them to stop..:/ then you have to leave the scene.. I left a mens apartment saying i was going to the bathroom..i sneaked out of the door not saying good bye :)
With all due respect, if you go to a guys apartment, many of them think you're going to sleep with them. That's way too dangerous. I'm glad you made it out ok. Keep it public. If a guy doesn't understand, it's his loss.
Thanks for this video Derrick it was very enlightening. It just feels like sometimes us women we want to be wanted SOOO badly that we'll just take "anything." Self -esteem is the root cause to s lot of these problems
Lol that's why men run from me because they can't even get close to that crap with me. It's horrible, but yes, ladies need to be more unafraid to say their level of standard for themselves.
All I can say is PREACH! Really, just preach/teach. This man right here is a REAL ONE. Thank you for sharing, true words spoken on many levels. I am sure many females can relate. Can I get a “Like” if you’ve been there and done that...Thank you!
Damn this hurt my feelings as if it was said to me. I feel so bad for women in these situations. That was emotional abuse and that comment can seek deep into her subconscious and she believe that she's expired. You don't say ish to people like that 😔
Anisha Jones i mean what would make him say some shit like that??? hell if you think she's expired just leave why all the drama and insults??? fucking childish i would have snapped on his dumb ass smdh
missball404 I don't know how people sleep at night. F n monsters. Not only does he not want her but he tried to fix it so she won't feel desirable to anyone. Ever. Not all women are mentally strong enough to build their self esteem up after a comment like that. What he said isn't true but coming from the person you love that could crush a person.
Anisha Jones damn i mean just stab her with a knife MY GOD why have sex with someone you obviously hate to say shit like that!!! shows how mentally ill and insane most men are DISGUSTING BEHAVIOR
Ugh! That's one of the reasons I had to cut a man (who I thought I could love and trust) loose. I'm not going to spend the rest of my years going through this emotional turmoil just because he's not getting what he wants.
I REALLY appreciate ALL of the helpful videos you're sharing with us!! I cannot say it enough. It's empowering women and arming us with the tools on how to deal with these"men" out here. TY TY TY
Thanks for your videos Derick! You gave women a sneak peak of what actions coming from men are 0 tolerance. I have practice in the past put men in check but I was told by these men "you are controlling, I can't check women out without you jumping on my throat" I had to press the break and tell him that wont be tolerated if he wants this package. Some dudes disrespect women and go on and demand respect from us! I rather be alone then in the presence of a inmature man that believes he can disrespect a woman!
This guy that I was talking to when we first started talking, he was complimenting his ex too much. How she so good looking, and he felt so good walking with her, because all the guys were checking her out. He was going on and on. I checked him hard on that non sense. A man should never compliment another women more than the person he is with. That's just disrespectful. One thing I learned with people is if they do anything to you once they going to do it again. I should of broke it off right from the beginning. He just did it again and again, knowing it bothered me. Some people just like to hurt others because they are hurting.
Thank you soo much for your videos. I as a woman appreciate your respect for woman and wisdom to young men. Your videos are so real and I appreciate it!
I believe this was one of my mistakes in my 9yr relationship that ended. He started with little things and then escalated to more verbally agressive mean things. Thank you for these amazing helpful videos they do help a blind eye see what wasnt seen. God bless!
A guy friend tried me last month and I told him don't ever disrespect me like that again. He was acting shady after that & I just defriended him from my FB.
So on point Derrick! What you permit, you promote! As women, setting the expectations early on how you will be treated is essential to the foundation of a relationship!
I couldn't agree more. Gone are the days when a gentleman didn't even use the same casual conversation in the presence of a lady that he would use with only men. I am so proud of you for telling women to cut these sorry fools off at the pass as they test the water. AMEN AND AMEN!!!! Guys are this way in part because we ladies tolerate it sad to say.
This is so true. I noticed this from a early age around 13. I would have male friends who would treat their girlfriends with such disrespect but never say one bad word to me. When you carry yourself in a certain way and you have no problem with cutting people out of your life that disrespect you, you'll be surprised at how well they treat you. Even if they don't treat other women in their lives with respect.
Deana West thanks for this advice love, it really will help a ton of us. I'd like to add that my mom always said: "it's not what they call you that matters, it's what you answer to"
Deana West sometimes but not always. I've told guys to stop and they pretended like they did and then continued. Some assholes will always be assholes.
Yeah, I wish I could of known that a long time ago. Im kinda shy when I first meet people and there is stuff took me awhile to read in between lines. I'm super mad my dad didn't teach me shit or be involved in my life even though he was there. Thanks Dad. Now he don't talk to me because of some fools that treated me bad.
Wow I literally just went through a situation where he started putting his hands everywhere when I specifically told him I was not ready! Then he made me feel like something was wrong with me....!!!
Most men say I'm mean I just have a quick temper to dumb stuff they will try it if you let them but thank God for a daddy that taught me how to respect myself an never let a man run over me
I disagree with part. Checking them on all these little things is just telling them who to PRETEND TO BE so they can fool you to get what they want and waste more of your time and energy. Checking your temp like this already shows you that they're disrespectful and manipulative. When they show who they are... believe them. Words lie, but actions don't. If you check them, but keep seeing them, it will only change how they act to your face ...not how they act behind your back. It won't change their intentions and nothing changes their character. Dump them and wait for someone that already knows/wants to treat you with respect. Telling someone how to respect you won't make them respect you or value you. That is codependent thinking ... and wrong.
Charlotte Binder I had a similar thought process to this as well. I was in a relationship where I always checked him, and later he found the ways to talk to me and represent himself. I thought he changed but he just knew how to act. I completely agree when a man doesn’t know how to act from the beginning he isn’t worth giving your time too. If anyone treats you disrespectfully or sexually can’t control themselves that is then revealing their truest nature. TAKE IT FOR WHAT IT IS.
I agree, their true character will eventually resurface in other ways down the road. You're just lying to yourself by "checking" anyone. It doesn't make you "strong"
Your so right Derrick. I just came outta relationship hell for not calling my ex on his direpectfulness. By the end he was a disrespectful nightmare. Im outta that situation now but i still love him. It hurts
We need more men like him around. I swear. I have dated men of all races/ages/ backgrounds and they all try the same bs. I'm so done. where are the good men? do i need to leave america?
Mr. Derrick Jaxn your daughter is truly going to be a strong, great, no fuckery accepted by ANY man or person Queen. She is indeed BLESSED! Congrats on adding another Queen to this planet. I've learned more from you about being a self respecting and loving black woman in the past month of watching your videos than I have from anyone else in my 23 years old life. Thank you!👏🏿😊
Being a former substitute teacher, that reference had me laughing so hard lol. I was that one that was not tested (no smiles, just death stare). My 5'2 130lbs self looking like a teen myself did not take shit from those kids who were my size and bigger. Wardrobe black from head to toe and glasses (that were only for show lol).😂
Wow I’ve always asked myself why does he treat me that way why does he say those things??? Wow I get it. I’ve allowed it and it’s just gotten worse on his disrespect Bc I’ve aloud it.
Hilarious how a man can stay loyal to a football or basketball team or even a few players but can't commit to ONE woman. smh
Miko Tashio l
Zuri Tashio non comparable babes. Supporting a team has no responsibilities
@@NonanoN-er6de 🤔hmmm so some men prefer to 'support a team, with no responsibilities...' vs being/building a team with a woman... wow just WOW! 👀💅 Smh...
commitment comes from respect and it’s easier for a man to respect another man
@@zaycameladove Well maybe men should fuck men teehee. Altogether now, "Adios Typhoid Mauriceeeee!"
Whenever a man start a conversation with sexual tendencies. Run fast!!!😏
Mia Hailey Yep because he's just horny and looking for sex. If you want a real relationship, he is not your guy. You're right, run.
Mia Hailey exactly and i think from that point when it happens heres where women go wrong. When they're thinking that its cute for him to start off that way indirectly sexually towards them and dont check him then it gives the go ahead for the man to think at some point your gonna be fucking once he gets through those barriers. Nowadays some women have none so and thats kind of the standard now shown to men so they dont really have to try hard if atall to be committed when they have so many options. They'll be atleast one woman who would go with a man whos just wanting a fuck smdh
Mia Hailey right! I've tried online dating, and I've had to remind many men: I'm not desperate, I just don't have time to meet guys in my area (due to work and geographic location). I'm not here for sex, you don't know me like that, and you obviously have not READ my profile, bc I AM looking for something serious.
If they looking at other women while they are trying to get with you thats a big sign
I recently met a guy and the first date he wanted was at his house after 12 am. I quickly let him know I was not going to his house and that was too late. The next night he brought up taking me to the movies. Needless to say that was a wrap after 9pm. He never called txt or anything. So when/if I hear from him again I'll definitely let him know....It was nice to have met him.
Was on the phone with this "nice guy I was dating. He "playfully" told me to STFU over the phone..I told him straight up "don't talk to me like that" and checked him about how he was talking to me like I was one of his boys or something. with no second thought he apologized and switched it up. No matter the guy they all try you. Like he said when they check that temperature BURN THEM. I don't tolerate any form of disrespect not even as a joke.
As long as you don't start the disrespect I agree
True
Yep!! What she said!!
Amen, Jokes always at the wrong time, he wasn’t raised right if he did that.
We're not afraid of being called stuck up, we're afraid of being killed.
Don't go bother with fuckboys. Otherwise you'd end up alone.
LOLOLOLOL..., RIGHT???
the more childish a man is the more dangerous he is in my opinion.
Got a point there.
That person doesn't deserve you or anyone else who agrees. It's settling. Not worth it.
When A Man TREAT you like A "OPTION "
Then TREAT HIM LIKE A
"CHOICE"
Heather Jones mic dropped sis 🤛👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Yes honey. You respect yourself, luv it sis.
We already know were just a choice
When he treats you like an option, treat him like dollar store toilet paper. Thank you, next.
@@artemis7662 sorry, don't really see the difference we're treated like that anyway, soooo ....
"Damn, girl, you need to learn how to take a joke!"
"Yeah, well you need to learn how to tell one, then."
Been there, done that.
Same as:
Him: "You need to lighten up".
Me: "No you need to be serious about the subject at hand".
😂😂😂
bullshit to that joke thing, we all know it’s not
So long, Joker!!
@caitolent amazing response! 👌
They check your boundaries... you need to stop it right then.
💯
@IsraelitesMatter 🙏💜
You know when you're really done?
When you're too exhausted to fight with him, have no energy to tell him anymore everything that's wrong.
When you don't even tell him it's finished.
You quietly walk away, not look back.
At that point you accepted it, you tried hard but it just wasn't worth any more time nor precious energy.
Something in you just let go.
I'm ready & waiting now to feel this way but follow through without turning back
Baby, that's when you've already allowed him to drag you for a while. If we follow the advice and BURN EM the FIRST time, we don't get to the point of exhausted.
Me, right after the start of the quarantine.
I didn't even bother to give any reasons. Just blocked everyone involved and kept moving!
Yes 🙌🏾 Yes 🙌🏾
Ladies the only person you can control or check is yourself. When you see something you don't agree, leave. Sometimes a response isn't needed. I don't waste energy no more.
SuperPhdiva I agree. Red flags should just be deal breakers. I don’t have the time
Exactly, no time for BS
Exactly right. Derrick is right but... Are we animals? Are we adults? Do I really need to educate and discipline a man??!! I’m sorry, I got better things to do.
Yep no discussion
SuperPhdiva SRB so true.
We have to admit. A lot of men are like this because of broken homes and because us women as a WHOLE tolerate so much from men. Things that's supposed to be a red flag, even if it's small, we tend to let it slide. We got to do better ladies. Derrick is like my Internet father. He's telling me things my daddy should have told me. I'm 21 and I've made bad decisions with 2 guys and I don't plan on being naive anymore. Having a father in the home is VERY important. I feel if my mom and dad was together I'd know what REAL love looked like and I wouldn't settle just to feel something I never felt from my dad. But thank you Derrick.
Brittany Burley preachhhhhhhhhh! such a wise young woman
i think some of this also has to do with men thinking we're supposed to mind read whatever tricks they have up their sleeves. we are not like them, we think and do things differently than them, but they assume we know what they've plotted or planned. we don't. for them to assume we just let people get away with stuff just because we don't respond the way they want us to is ridiculous. for example, i often just observe things and don't voice my thoughts when something seems off or crazy, mainly because i'm just thinking about what just happened. so, just because i don't tell the guy that i think he's cray-cray for calling women names doesn't mean i am not thinking it. but some men, for some self-centered reason, have decided i'm supposed to react the way they want me to. i can watch someone get their head decapitated by isis and not say anything because i'm busy taking in what is going on. that's how weird i am :p therefore, i'm not going to react. i can't help it, that's how i am. and some men see that silent behavior as weakness because i didn't say something to them when they did something crazy to test me.
oh, i forgot to mention that men also speak a very different language from us, so we of course aren't going to interpret things the same way they do.
ale ashley lol I get what you saying. We're just wired differently. lol
yep. :)
I'd rather be stuck up than to be ran tf over!!, Absolutely right Derrick
This goes hand in hand with "u teach ppl how 2 treat you"
Yeah
"I rather you be the girl that's stuck up than the girl that's ran over" Good Stuff right there!!!!
And girls if he gets angry when you polietly and sternly put him in his place then you dodged a bullet because he obviously wasnt looking for the right things
I just recently ended a relationship because of a similar issue. He kept coming at me with this “stories” about how a girl like me ended up alone because she gave up on a good man. He then said me getting triggered after sharing how I was scared of cat calling wasn’t important. And then got mad at me when I raised my voice at him when he wouldn’t allow me to explain to him that part of being in a relationship was sharing both pain and happiness, that it’s part of communication and understanding. So i ended it
Politely? Did you not hear what he said in the video??? SCOLDING HOT 🔥. You dodged not a bullet but an abusive individual and you also set clear boundaries not to be tampered with.
imahelpfulperson Also that it’s not utopia. It’s going to be disagreements at times and we don’t share a brain.
YOU KNOW WHAT. If they’re even saying these things in the first place, you can already tell the type of person they are
The worst is when a guy thinks it's cool to talk down about his past relationships to you. That just shows his real feelings about other women and that he'll probably do the same to you... It's time to walk away and smile! He has no respect in him.
So true
M J yaaaassss! Experienced this!
So if she stole his shit always blame him for cheating but then is found cheatin in his bed he should always talk positively about her?
Don Johnson sounds like you knew my ex wife..
Yep! My ex at the very beginning continued to brand his ex a psycho. Two sides to every story. Going by how he treated me she probably called him out on his BS and he was gaslighting her.
I don't have those issue..my father taught me to fear no man. I spoke w/my dad about his teaching and how it hard to maintain a relationship bc I'm outspoken. My father states;
"f!ck that! It's going to take a strong man to handle you but he'll also know not to try you". After that I understood.
Congrats Derrick on your success!
Blaq ladybug GOD BLESS YOUR FATHER
I have an issue with some of your father's teachings. Why does it have to take a strong man to handle a woman like you? Are you that difficult to get along with? Why can't someone just enjoy companionship without the burden of a woman's wrath? Even the bible warn men to avoid a woman that has a bad behavior.
Proph 99 - not for me to "question" my Dad. No - I'm easy to get along with BUT I don't have the energy to entertain nonsense therefore I'm direct. Either you respect my position or not...truthfully I'm respected by all men.
With regards to my "wrath" - if your perception of my statement lead you to me being confrontational or combative that isn't why I shared my story.
I say this with NO shade- Proph 99.
I love when 2 people can have a respectful conversation on UA-cam lol like seriously...it's refreshing to see people challenging each other in a sense and not popping off on each other. Kudos!
my ex husband tried to check my temperature by telling me to " go downstairs and prepare him lunch" . I was preparing for two back to back exams and was very busy but him did not seem to care. so I told him that " you have two hands and feet. Go do it yourself ". He was so shocked by my response and never tried to treat me like his servant again. Like Derrick said " a man will treat you exactly the way you allow him to. My ex friend said that my standards were too high and I might end up all alone. She was insecure and dealt with a lot of foolishness from her kids father because she said that he was the best she could do. I found my guy who respects me and I don't even have to worry about burning him because he knows I will not tolerate nonsense
Zoe Billionz that's what I'm saying. Why would he even want to do that?
@Zoe Billionz no one is perfect. We are all human and after we get used to someone after a time in a relationship, behaviour can change. But if you remember to want to be treated in a certain way and he does and understands it right away, it is absolutly okay and normal. It's life, not a disney film. Excuse my english, I am German (:
@Zoe Billionz That's what she said. She found someone who will never try her. She gave a comparison of her past and present relationship as a testimony to abuse.
If your husband aks you to prepaire food for him is not abuse, always remember what you promise him on your wedding day. If he doesn't understand time your busy just talk to him in a respectful way
“New texture ? “ my God
charlita25 🙄 I know
Ikr fucked me up too 😐😔
New texture... I don't even joke with my other half about something of that sort and vice versa... I hope that new texture is willing to tolerate you; the story can stay the same, just the characters change...
charlita25 word😂🤣! I thought he was talking about hair until he clarifies. This generation language is something.
Men can't handle the nonsense they dish out📢
If he's the kind who's "checking" Why even give him a chance? He doesn't have a strong sense right behavior in the first place.
All men check...to varying degrees.
His eyes don't work
OMG YO ADVISE JUST SAVED ME FROM A PERSON THAT WAS ONLY THERE TO WASTE MY TIME....I CAUGHT EVERYTHING HE WAS TRYIN TO SLIP PASS!😂😂 THANKS
I POLITELY AND STERNLY PUT THESE MEN IN THEIR PLACE. I STAY POLITE, BECAUSE I'M CHOOSY WITH MY WORDS. I WILL CRUSH YOUR SOUL, YOUR AMBITION TO APPROACH NOT ONLY ME BUT THE NEXT WOMAN HE TRIES WITH THAT CRAP.
AND NOT ONLY THE VERBAL ABUSE, BUT HOW HE REFERS TO OTHER FEMALES IN MY PRESENCE. NOT EVEN THEIR "BABY MAMA" NOPE. 'EXCUSE ME? OH YOU MEAN YOUR SON'S OR DAUGHTER'S MOTHER?'
THEY'RE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO TEXT ME WITH POOR GRAMMAR. NOT ALLOW. IT SUGGESTS TO ME THAT THEY ARE TOO COMFORTABLE IN MY PRESENCE. I'M TOO OLD FOR THAT.
Lavica Wiggins Yes..i feel that..crush the soul..and do it so lady like they don't even understand what the fuck just happened to their asses...i like u ..i digg that !!!!
Lavica Wiggins girl.....I swear I just had this conversation with my best friend. COME CORRECT OR DON'T COME AT ALL!
Yes, you do have to politely but sternly let 'em know because some of these men have such fragile ego's that they'll swell up on you on try square up with you like you're a man. Sad, but I've seen it happen. Thank goodness I've never had to experience it first hand.
Lavica Wiggins Yup...me too...
My husband told me straight up he wanted to cheat on me... I didn’t say a word because I was just stunned...married for 28 years... needless to say we’re not together...
I’m so sorry that happened to you :( I hope you are all well with a new man now☺️☺️💗💗if not I hope u living yo best life😍🖤🔥
Wow
WOW!!!
This happened to a lady I used to know. And let me tell you, she was drop dead gorgeous! None of those "let herself go after 15 years and 2 kids so what did she expect?" BS cliches. But she picked herself up and told him to go for his life, just without her in it :)
I think he could have been doing it behind your back so he used the excuse of asking you to cheat.
Glad you moved on 🙏
“Stuck up” or “prudish” is just being a quality woman.
YUP!!!!!
Woman of substance and force to be reckoned with!!!
Play with fire and get burned 🔥
Definitely not
I agree 😊
Or, "bougie"...
Right, I totally agree... had one guy text me and ask can he come lay down with me, I politely told him off... his response was"I was just joking". Joking my ass, if I would have said yes, I guarantee you he would have been over here with the quickness. That's why I'm single and glad to be. I don't have time to train or raise a grown ass man.
My Dad told me to make sure I have a man that I respect, can't run over and respects himself, let alone anyone who thinks it's possible to be disrespectful and stay in my presence. I know where the door is, when to leave and how to escort someone to it. Being single is not a bad thing at all! I will wait until I am blessed with a good man... time is on my side as I grow in to the woman I want to be.
We’re too old to be playing games. I cut off dudes that act like that🤷🏽♀️
This video has revolutionized my dating life! I hadn't dated in over 7 years and, as a woman over 40, it gives space for the right man with right-side-up intentions. Thank for sharing your wisdom.
My boyfriend tried calling me the B word I turned and told him to leave that he was not allowed to direapect me ever.and not to come back until he could be a respectful man.I don't play those games .I do not raise my voice or call him out by a name .I treat him with respect so I expect it back.its not something I will ever bend on.
Lil G BGD Word!
Haha but you still with him? Knowing he is a disrespectful person, well you showed him! 😂
Lil G BGD yup
My last one and I got into a discussion about politics and he didn’t like being disagreed with so he told me to F you I told him to leave. We’re done here
My mother once said, stand up for yourself and check him at the beginning then if he threatens to leave then welcome him the way out. If that man wants to leave you heard will anyways. Bye bye👏💅
"CHECKS YOUR TEMP"
Oh that's what they be doing.
Clarity is good.
Just the temp check would make me exit stage left. 😏
Jennifer A. Exactly- I’m not living life on my toes, on the defensive and lookout for disrespect and bullshit. That depletes feminine energy, I’d rather drop your ass on site.
Exactly that is a son not a man.
the sub teacher analogy had me rolling because before I became a teacher i was that no nonsense long term sub teacher. 😀😀😀
LaKeisha Wallace Oh yeah hated y'all asses couldn't do nothing but respect you lol
Derrick Jaxn then you would REALLY hate me now that I've been in the classroom for over 16 years. 😀😀😀😂😂😂😂🤣🤣
Derrick Jaxn Hey Derrick. I've recently discovered u in the last 3 months or so & Im glad that I did. Needless to say that to hear a rational, open minded, objective,young "man", share his perspective is almost unimaginable. So this is my ordeal, I'd been seeing someone for the past year that was merely based upon hookin up. There were no dates, dinners, or even Netflix & chill. Just straight hook up sessions. Im older, late 30's. No children. Never married. Now, just a few days ago, this person asked to come over to of course hook up. As he attempted to get things started, the chemistry felt off & I stopped him before things really began. The next day he tells me things weren't fresh enough to his liking. So after you've placed your fingers there, placed those same fingers in your mouth, & then placed your face in the same place, when were you sure that it wasn't right? How do I get men like this to not approach me, let alone become involved with? I've experienced some physical trauma. So I truly believe that the men I attract believe that Im so desperate for a man, according to their perception of my appearance, that they believe that I'll take it any way I can get it. That is so not the case. Scars or not, dick is not the center of my universe. How do I convey that & not come across as angry or misunderstood?
Ms. B Double why is man in " "?
D Patterson Im sorry. I may be a little delayed. Im not following the question?
He's so real. This world would be so much different and better if us women weren't as tolerable to "bs" as some are. #DontTakeSh**
Torri LaTrece 🙌
Thank you, men wouldn't know what to do. That's why they complaining now
Torri LaTrece that's right, I totally agree!
***** yesss making us think we will be single forever if we don't accept it, instead of making men change
ashley hawkins exactly and just like man don't tolerate a woman doing them wrong we as women should not tolerate the same from them! that's why men do the things they do because women forgive them because we have been taught that it's acceptable for men to do wrong because it's in their nature, what kind of lie is that when we all deserve respect!!
I agree. People will test you just to see how far they can go, and that’s when you shock the hell right out of them and burn the top layer of skin clean off. They’ll come correct, or go away for good 👀. It’s okay to have a good heart ♥️ but it’s also okay to let folk know from the door, don’t play with me. We train people how to treat us by what we allow👍🏽 thumbs up.
That’s what’s up ❤️💯💯
And this is why I'm single. So true sir!
Yeah. Good luck with that. 😂
Yea that’s the reason huh
Still single?lol
@@gilesotojr nope
Society acts like being single is an insult, it helps keep women desperate for a man and willing to put up with ANYTHING to keep one.
📣 *A MAN TREATS YOU, THE WAY HE FEELS ABOUT YOU!* 😚✌
He treats you how he is
The bold and all caps though yes !!!
@@khosiroyalhighness4965 exactly it doesn't say anything about the woman. The only thing she can do is saying stop no in time. If they leave when they don't get their way they are not looking for love anyway.
Nah he treats you how the fuck he is.
I like being stuck up. I don't play the radio. Which, by the way is why a lot of people seem to think I am still single... My thought on this is: Yes, that is exactly why I am still single. As a woman, and future wife, my duty is to help my man be the best version of himself possible. And his job is to do the same in my life. I can not do my job allowing any man to be less than I know I deserve. I'm am cool being single until the man who has sense enough to appreciate the treasure he has in a woman who regards herself highly and holds him to a higher standard. Who gives, a fuck about any old S.A.M and what he wants or thinks... (S.A.M = Sorry Ass Man). A man has to be right or be gone when it comes to me and my time...Period.
Talibah Aset preachhhhhhhhhh! I love your confidence and that you aren't afraid to walk away. this will definitely inspire others to hopefully do the same,myself included.
Cheyenne Michelle-Rena Thanks. I was not always this way. I have been through a lot in my life. Eventually, I stepped into my own power. I will tell you of youu ever get enough of what you don't want, it will make you pretty clear about what you do want. Then, it is up to you to demand it. I am happy with myself. I am not lacking anything. I do not need a man. I do want a man to share my life with. I am pretty picky about the qualities he should possses. I am not unrealistically waiting for a perfect man, but the one that is looking for me is perfectly suited to me. I have no problem waiting until he shows up. I am sure we will recognize each other. In the meantime, I date and I enjoy the company/attention of men... I am the one who is always in control of what I will and will not allow. If I want to have sex with a man. I do. If I don't there is nothing he can say to make me. In a relationship, there area areas where I will compromise... and then there are some things that I am not going to move on, because I don't want it in my life... key word MY.
Talibah Aset 👏👏👏 Yes!
DanceSexMusicHipHop Thanks I appreciate that.
Amen .. say that Louder for the people in the back 🙌
Straight facts! And that comparison to the substitute teacher was on point
Teach I'm a 50.year old women and I'm Glad to hear you speak.
I'm 50ish and still learning!
I'm guilty of letting guys test me to an extent. I react in luke warm manner trying to be mature. All the while, I'm making mental notes. Then after the last straw, I'll just block and ignore them, which I'm a savage at, and they feel like it's coming out of nowhere. 😏
Umm I don't know me too! my ignore is real strong! I'll block you and ignore you until you question your own existence 😂😂
Damn right. Do what you gotta do. You don't need that emotional garbage.
Umm I don't know Yup! Because burning them gives them the hint to try harder and possibly get yourself played and not see who they really are. Not trying to change any guy. Trying to see what he's about on his own moral compass.
Umm I don't know This is me also when I'm done and person just can't won't get it I block, ignore and bury the contact period 🏃
Gotta be like that sometimes. But then again its best to not hold all that in let them know how u feel immediately and if there not receptive ignore them. Saves yourself stress nobody deserves emotional abuse or to be treated horribly for no reason whats so ever.
Yes! The scalding hot water and substitute teacher analogies are perfect.
This is GOLD. This channel? Your advice and this "public service announcement" that you are providing for women???? PURE GOLD. Listen up ladies, cuz no one on UA-cam is telling you what you need to hear like this man does. EXCELLENT VIDEOS.
I love that there's finally a man online giving out sound relationship advice that is psychically healthy to women. There are far too many channels on UA-cam run by black men that are dedicated to putting down black women posing as dating advice. It's a disturbing trend.
💯👏💯👏💯👏💯Mr. Jaxn, doing GREAT work!!
✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾
I've never met a man that talked like that around me, but if I did, I would definitely check him. He wouldn't be boyfriend material, in my book. Period.
Bling SugarBaby May God continue to bless you and that u won’t ever have too! It’s not cool at all
Definitely burned him and his response was 'I can't be myself around you. I like to talk shit but I am always so guarded because I don't know what will upset you and me being myself is a prerequisite to things moving forward', and he pulled the 'other women are okay with this type of talk' card! Boy bye, go to the other women. And I'm officially #teamJaxn
wow, this guy I was dealing with told me the exact same thing, had me thinking I was being too sensitive.
Destiny Williams, no darling, he's just a player trying to turn tables. Send him to the other women.
Your comment and this video came right on time. Thank you!
I love you Steffi...nice reply
I salute your standards! 🙌
My best friend told me this. Every time my boyfriend and I have a disagreement, he tells me. In the past when a girlfriend got on my nerves, I pack my things and leave.Well, that happen to me twice. The first time, I moved out and when he got off from work, the only thing left in the apartment was his toothbrush and I even took the toothpaste! Next time. I packed his clothes in 3 big garbage bags. Drop them off at his brothers house. If you don't want me, then I can do without you!
Thankyou Derrick for doing your best to teach women how to protect themselves. You've taught me so much and I'm grateful that your spreading such important information for us. I wasn't raised right, i was literally thrown out to the wolves at a young age. Now in my mid twenties I'm learning who I am and learning things from people like you that I should've been taught when I was younger, but Ive had no guidance in my life. I've been through many damaging and abusive relationships, but now I'm done being blind and my level up game is no joke. Thankyou for your wisdom, God bless you!
Man, tell me about those "temperature checkers". I've had too many of those and eventually, IT GETS FRUSTRATING! So I'm at the point that I will burn a guy ASAP when I sense this type of b.s. There's too much happening in life in general, so my tolerance is at a all time negative percent. Great topic!
We need to let our daughters listen to this guy! So they would have a good handle on dealing with men/relationships.
You are a revolution wrapped inside a truly beautiful man. Love your material and what your about. Brilliant, simple truth.
Derrick, thank you so much. I needed to hear this. I've been too tolerant because dudes told me that I was too serious or uptight. No man has ever kept it real like you just did. You're a blessing.
You put it all the way down on this one. You talking like my grandma right here. "Temperature check"!
the women who are raised with father's in the household will be strong minded period! daddy's little girl. a true daddy will equip his daughter with a knowledge only a man knows! big up to my daddy who raised me as a youth after my mother passed.
Aja Auset Shores I totally agree with you!!!
I’m glad you had a dad and it certainly is great if he cares about his children. But for the rest of us y’all gotta share that wisdom.
Not true. I’m a single mother household and my mother ( who has passed away) was a strong hard working mother who taught me not to take any crap and I don’t. I do see however lots of girls that grew up with terrible father figures that get abused. It depends really!
AMEN to what you wrote. I am/ was a Daddy's girl. All my life until his death. R.I.H Dad. When my parents separated I stayed with him. He schooled me in male behavior. I was blessed indeed to have such a great Dad.
Thank you for this! This is such an important message. I always thought I was smarter and better than allowing a man to treat me poorly. But abusive men groom you slowly. From small comments to pushing your boundaries. For me it escalated to physical abuse I never thought I’d allow. It is so important for women to understand this. Many of us appreciate the hard truths you are telling us.
Yess! Had to blaze a guy today. His vulgarness was too much and I was not having it 🔥
Vulgarity is such a turn off. It suggests a lack of intelligence.
💯💯💯 Nothing but truth. We've all been there. Gotta have Standards ladies and lay em out upfront! A real man will respect your Standards.
this is good. I get accused of being a prude all the time because I'm constantly checking guys and they look at me like I'm crazy. for a minute I thought I was being too hard core but I began to think I Gotta Stick to my guns and they respect me because I make them.
You know I get the same problem I'm always checking guys putting them in their place if I'm walking in a crowd somewhere in the main tries to get my attention by grabbing my arm I turn around and snap on him fast and they look at me like I'm crazy or I'm so uptight because I'm putting them in their place about how to be respectful and how to have just proper etiquette to a woman because nowadays many don't
WTF
So You're married now?
Yasssssss!!! You are not alone
Prudeness is underated - you carry on being you - you sound sensible to me
That's the best advice I've ever heard! My narcissistic mother taught me to "accept " everyone's disrespect, this has been the hardest habit to break...I APPRECIATE YOU! You dont know how much you're helping me...
Kid you not, this literally happened to me yesterday.
I respectfully approached the guy I’d been on a couple of dates with to tell him that a conversation that was had infront of me between him and a mate made me feel “uncomfortable”.
They were having a joking about “getting pussy”.
I was polite but firm. And he flew off the handle.
Called me “self absorbed” and “precious”.
So told him that it’s best we let it be an deleted him off all social media immediately.
I’d been feeling a little flat today. But watching this video has made me feel so much better!! Thank you!!!
damn Sir where were you 10 years ago? thank you for your words of wisdom! looking forward to buying your books!
SouthPawBaby06 he was learning🙌🙌
so glad he did!
I totally agree, that goes for your friends and family with that small disrespectfulness.
Thank you for this video! I have burnt two exs who were trying to creep back into my life with the help of watching this video! You are the strength I need when I am feeling weak! God bless 🙏🏼💪🏽💕
🙌💯🔥 find that strength and know your worth. Love yourself ladies! ❤️
"Hooray " for you Derrick.. I love to listen to you, you're the best. Congradulations!!!!!
+Cynthia Rice Thank you☺
"Checking the temperature", cousin to "boiling the frog slowly" 🐸
There areany youtubers around talking about relationships.. You're the first genuine person one.. Love the practical aspect of it... Plus you're pleasant to look at... Much thanks🤗🤗🤗
Often times these types of people end up being controlling abusers on the prowl for a potential victim.
I myself subscribed two months ago. I was in a toxic relationship for 3yrs. I kept justifying and made excuses for everything, I was even in denial. God have appointed you to enlighten others. you have a calling and a gift. I cut my ex off like a bad tumor. I realize what I allowed. learning to love me. I now know my worth i have moments but i know and even SAY "this to shall pass," and it's to damn bad for him.. I kno he was a Good loss. I have a testimony. but Derrick thank u. don't stop.. please don't stop. I believe this is just the beginning for you.
You had me rolling with that sustitute teacher tho!!!!
Taren Williams me too because before I became a teacher i was that type of sub and although we have fun in my class I still give and expect a lot of respect from my students
Taren Williams yea......I'm the sub they see and they are like "oh we don't have to do stuff today" and I asked my friend why they barely behaved and she said "Because you allow it" so once I put my foot down and they saw I was serious, they respected me lol. had to send a few students to the Dean's office,but after that, class listened to my directions .
Taren Williams but that was so true
Amen! I've been called stuck up too serious,etc Even had a male friend tell me I keep it too real and some men don't know how to handle a woman my type. Just because I check what I am not going to put up with nor accept. True fact:when you let something small slide, they'll keep trying you. Things need to be addressed wheter big or small if they're making you feel some type of way. When you know your worth then there's zero tolerance for bs!
OMMGGG!!!! One of my gf's told me about you. I just love how you keep it real. Thank you for teaching and explaining how to interpret all these mind games guys try.
And some guys don't listen when you tell them to stop..:/ then you have to leave the scene..
I left a mens apartment saying i was going to the bathroom..i sneaked out of the door not saying good bye :)
With all due respect, if you go to a guys apartment, many of them think you're going to sleep with them. That's way too dangerous. I'm glad you made it out ok. Keep it public. If a guy doesn't understand, it's his loss.
😂😂😅Good one
Thanks for this video Derrick it was very enlightening. It just feels like sometimes us women we want to be wanted SOOO badly that we'll just take "anything." Self -esteem is the root cause to s lot of these problems
Lol that's why men run from me because they can't even get close to that crap with me. It's horrible, but yes, ladies need to be more unafraid to say their level of standard for themselves.
All I can say is PREACH! Really, just preach/teach. This man right here is a REAL ONE. Thank you for sharing, true words spoken on many levels. I am sure many females can relate. Can I get a “Like” if you’ve been there and done that...Thank you!
Damn this hurt my feelings as if it was said to me. I feel so bad for women in these situations. That was emotional abuse and that comment can seek deep into her subconscious and she believe that she's expired. You don't say ish to people like that 😔
Anisha Jones i mean what would make him say some shit like that??? hell if you think she's expired just leave why all the drama and insults??? fucking childish i would have snapped on his dumb ass smdh
missball404 I don't know how people sleep at night. F n monsters. Not only does he not want her but he tried to fix it so she won't feel desirable to anyone. Ever. Not all women are mentally strong enough to build their self esteem up after a comment like that. What he said isn't true but coming from the person you love that could crush a person.
Anisha Jones damn i mean just stab her with a knife MY GOD why have sex with someone you obviously hate to say shit like that!!! shows how mentally ill and insane most men are DISGUSTING BEHAVIOR
I would have said to him this relationship is expired and goodbye
Ugh! That's one of the reasons I had to cut a man (who I thought I could love and trust) loose. I'm not going to spend the rest of my years going through this emotional turmoil just because he's not getting what he wants.
I REALLY appreciate ALL of the helpful videos you're sharing with us!! I cannot say it enough. It's empowering women and arming us with the tools on how to deal with these"men" out here. TY TY TY
Thanks for your videos Derick! You gave women a sneak peak of what actions coming from men are 0 tolerance. I have practice in the past put men in check but I was told by these men "you are controlling, I can't check women out without you jumping on my throat" I had to press the break and tell him that wont be tolerated if he wants this package. Some dudes disrespect women and go on and demand respect from us! I rather be alone then in the presence of a inmature man that believes he can disrespect a woman!
This guy that I was talking to when we first started talking, he was complimenting his ex too much. How she so good looking, and he felt so good walking with her, because all the guys were checking her out. He was going on and on. I checked him hard on that non sense. A man should never compliment another women more than the person he is with. That's just disrespectful. One thing I learned with people is if they do anything to you once they going to do it again. I should of broke it off right from the beginning. He just did it again and again, knowing it bothered me. Some people just like to hurt others because they are hurting.
where were you when I was in my 20s I needed hear this.
Thank you soo much for your videos. I as a woman appreciate your respect for woman and wisdom to young men. Your videos are so real and I appreciate it!
I believe this was one of my mistakes in my 9yr relationship that ended. He started with little things and then escalated to more verbally agressive mean things.
Thank you for these amazing helpful videos they do help a blind eye see what wasnt seen. God bless!
Derrick, this is actually great advice for fathers and mothers to tell their daughters. Nice one. Thanks.
I needed to hear this!! I been allowing to much ish! Getting my respect and backbone back!
A guy friend tried me last month and I told him don't ever disrespect me like that again. He was acting shady after that & I just defriended him from my FB.
So on point Derrick! What you permit, you promote! As women, setting the expectations early on how you will be treated is essential to the foundation of a relationship!
I couldn't agree more. Gone are the days when a gentleman didn't even use the same casual conversation in the presence of a lady that he would use with only men. I am so proud of you for telling women to cut these sorry fools off at the pass as they test the water. AMEN AND AMEN!!!! Guys are this way in part because we ladies tolerate it sad to say.
YUP! I got told for years I was too serious. I was always real comfortable because I wasn't gonna tolerate nonsense for the rest of my life..
This is so true. I noticed this from a early age around 13. I would have male friends who would treat their girlfriends with such disrespect but never say one bad word to me. When you carry yourself in a certain way and you have no problem with cutting people out of your life that disrespect you, you'll be surprised at how well they treat you. Even if they don't treat other women in their lives with respect.
Deana West thanks for this advice love, it really will help a ton of us. I'd like to add that my mom always said: "it's not what they call you that matters, it's what you answer to"
Cheyenne Michelle-Rena so true my dad use to say if a man is not calling your name or saying excuse me or excuse me miss, he gets no response
ashley hawkins I'm glad your parents taught you well
Deana West sometimes but not always. I've told guys to stop and they pretended like they did and then continued. Some assholes will always be assholes.
they're still shitty for being disrespectful to those other women
Yeah, I wish I could of known that a long time ago. Im kinda shy when I first meet people and there is stuff took me awhile to read in between lines. I'm super mad my dad didn't teach me shit or be involved in my life even though he was there. Thanks Dad. Now he don't talk to me because of some fools that treated me bad.
Narcissistic dad
Wow I literally just went through a situation where he started putting his hands everywhere when I specifically told him I was not ready! Then he made me feel like something was wrong with me....!!!
Most men say I'm mean I just have a quick temper to dumb stuff they will try it if you let them but thank God for a daddy that taught me how to respect myself an never let a man run over me
I disagree with part. Checking them on all these little things is just telling them who to PRETEND TO BE so they can fool you to get what they want and waste more of your time and energy. Checking your temp like this already shows you that they're disrespectful and manipulative. When they show who they are... believe them. Words lie, but actions don't. If you check them, but keep seeing them, it will only change how they act to your face ...not how they act behind your back. It won't change their intentions and nothing changes their character. Dump them and wait for someone that already knows/wants to treat you with respect. Telling someone how to respect you won't make them respect you or value you. That is codependent thinking ... and wrong.
Charlotte Binder
I had a similar thought process to this as well. I was in a relationship where I always checked him, and later he found the ways to talk to me and represent himself. I thought he changed but he just knew how to act. I completely agree when a man doesn’t know how to act from the beginning he isn’t worth giving your time too. If anyone treats you disrespectfully or sexually can’t control themselves that is then revealing their truest nature. TAKE IT FOR WHAT IT IS.
*them
Thank you for this comment. It is so true.
I agree, their true character will eventually resurface in other ways down the road. You're just lying to yourself by "checking" anyone. It doesn't make you "strong"
True. He knew how to act, but it was only to get what he wanted
I DIED when he said "Full fledged fuckboi down the road" 😂😂😂
Your so right Derrick. I just came outta relationship hell for not calling my ex on his direpectfulness. By the end he was a disrespectful nightmare. Im outta that situation now but i still love him. It hurts
We need more men like him around. I swear. I have dated men of all races/ages/ backgrounds and they all try the same bs. I'm so done. where are the good men? do i need to leave america?
No honey, they’re shit everywhere.
@@taurus7911 well looks like no wedding for me 😢
Mr. Derrick Jaxn your daughter is truly going to be a strong, great, no fuckery accepted by ANY man or person Queen. She is indeed BLESSED! Congrats on adding another Queen to this planet. I've learned more from you about being a self respecting and loving black woman in the past month of watching your videos than I have from anyone else in my 23 years old life. Thank you!👏🏿😊
Being a former substitute teacher, that reference had me laughing so hard lol. I was that one that was not tested (no smiles, just death stare). My 5'2 130lbs self looking like a teen myself did not take shit from those kids who were my size and bigger. Wardrobe black from head to toe and glasses (that were only for show lol).😂
Wow I’ve always asked myself why does he treat me that way why does he say those things??? Wow I get it. I’ve allowed it and it’s just gotten worse on his disrespect Bc I’ve aloud it.