Tony Rowan sorry my friend. Not biblical. If God’s plan was for her not to be married she wouldn’t have the desire. Singleness is a gift that not all can receive, only those to whom it has been given. She needs to know that a spouse won’t fulfill her totally, but marriage is Gods plan for most people. A plan ordained by him.
@Sagar Eliyas Jacky Hello, I just wanted to remind you that if you are born a man you are a man. And if you are born a woman you are a woman. Pray you don't get confused and God bless in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
@Sagar Eliyas Jacky Hello I just wanted to remind you that if you are born a man you are a man. And if you are born a woman you are a woman. Pray you don't get confused and God bless in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
@Sagar Eliyas Jacky I don't understand what you mean by saying you're a lesbian trapped in Man body. But when you say you hate men that's very concerning because God commands us to "Love our neighbor as ourselves" whether the neighbor is man or woman we are commanded to love them.
Agreed. It's nonsense. And it's often married "leaders" telling the single people they need to get right with God before they're allowed to find a spouse or even date. Some of these same married ministers are even cheating on their spouses while they tell single people this. Not saying it's common, but it does happen.
I feel you. I'm 34 and still unmarried, and am kind of treated like an outcast like there's something wrong with me. It really hurts. I've always desired to be married to a Godly husband, but so far I've only encountered men I'd be unequally yoked with. It's not like it's my fault... some Christians still judge & label. It's really uncool.
It’s frustrating that married pastors are so tough on singles, yet sympathize with and eagerly pray for barren couples desiring a child... It’s a form of favoritism...
Barren people that are married can cry and everybody feels sorry for them. But when you are barren because you never even got the chance to be married you must suck it up and be satisfied with Christ.
So true! I just had this realization also. Barren couples are hardly ever accused of making having kids an idol. Hardly ever are they told “just be content with your marriage and serve God childless.” But everywhere I look it’s, “don’t make marriage an idol. If you never get married, then just be ok with it.” Married couples at least got the married part down, which in my opinion is more difficult. You can always adopt a child, but you can’t adopt a spouse lol.
So true. You don't hear any of them say children are a distraction (which they are. they take a lot of time and energy away. Way more than just you and your spouse) You can serve God better without them. Just be content with you and your spouse. etc....
I AM content in Jesus.I know he's always there and has saved me from eternal damnation.Its still hard to struggle in this life alone or be without that person you truly love and wish to grow old with.
Yes you speak the truth. It is difficult being single and not having a good partner by your side. But some people lose their partner for a variety of reasons. There are no guarantees in this life! Except for Jesus!!
Pastors likely have their relationship with Christ right, when you have satisfaction single with Christ, you will receive the partner you desire. Is the idea. Not always
Vanessa, agreed. It’s quite peculiar, isn’t it? Jesus and Paul, the paragons of pastoral ministry were single men yet in our culture encountering a single pastor is like a Bigfoot sighting. I think it speaks to the values of our western Churchianity. .
I think the Bible teaches us to be content in the situation that we find ourselves, but that doesn't mean we don't have goals and aspirations. If we had no goals, we would become stagnate in Christ and forever satisfied without growth. In the case of marriage, I believe the Bible teaches that marriage is something to strive towards, we just can't allow that goal to overpower our peace in the moment, leaving us dissatisfied in God because He hasn't chosen to give it to us yet.
@David Alexis Great point however marriage was a respected social responsibility and people had a healthy desire in Paul’s era. Now the ideals of marriage is crushed and tainted. But Jesus did say end times will be selfish . Exhibit A
We’re not allowing it to overpower our peace - we simply struggle with peace and it’s HARD the same what it’s hard for married people who have their problems. Except Single Christian are left alone with this and told BE happy!!! Well it’s not that easy
@@chriswalker2562 tel that to married people who want children - easy to say when you have all the benefits of marriage. Why is the single person expected to so easily be happy when life is hard and they’re sexual frustrated - the Bible says we can be married but Christian put us off marriage and then make us feel guilty for both being content - excuse us for not being content when married people shove their contentment in our face
@@trevrockrock16 I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I have been there and its hard to experience God's love when experiencing suffering like that. But just to encourage you, things do get better with time. Have hope and tell God all that is in your heart. Even if it is the angry thoughts and pain. I have seen that He gives perfect peace when you cast your burdens on Him.
I am so tired of hearing married pastors talk down to singles as if we are less holy than themselves. Kind of like a well fed person telling a starving person that they should try to be more content in their starvation. It’s horrible how married Christians treat their single brothers & sisters in Christ. If singleness is so wonderful Bother Piper, why did you get married at the age of 22? Do you regret doing so? Answer carefully, as your wife may read this.
Exactly what I was thinking. At least hearing from a pastor who married at a more mature age would be encouraging. All the pastors I hear talk about marriage were young 18-22 year olds who probably didn't know the difference between love and lust at the time.
Many of the commenters here/people who have or still going through prolonged singleness may have come to the realisation that the Pastor is not fit or qualified to give them advice or word of encouragement on this matter.My advice is to not take counsel from those people who don't know what it's like to be lonely or from those who got married in their early 20s.They have no clue nor even understand the gravity and depravity of being single.Practical way of handling this is to seek God alone or ask for advice from those who happened to get into dating way later than others or from those eventually got married late.Theyre the kind of persons who can give you sound advice without looking down on you as a sub standard human or a nagging desperate christian.
When I bemoan my singleness and hear "you have more opportunities to serve! I kinda want to smack them. How it equates in my mind is. "I have a desire to find a wife and raise a family." It is then said to me "it's alright that you don't have that YOU CAN WORK MORE". Not to say that marriage isn't work. I desire that cooperative team, taking on the world and serving and glorifying God. But nope! Here's a mop bucket!
thank you ptr John for reminding us to focus on what is eternal and what is more valuable without neglecting the day-to-day reality of walking with God
I desire to be rich. I desire to have meaningful work. I desire a wife and a large family of many children. I desire to have brotherhood & fellowship of God-fearing men. But I have prioritized knowing Christ above all of these things. I’m still working on these things but they’re not the center of my joy.
That's really good, because soon the Marxists will seize power and destroy our nation and most of the "establishment" churches. At that point all any believer will have is the hope and joy in Jesus!
Thanks John, these podcasts have been so helpful through the weeks/ months. Jesus fulfills me, and as deeply as I desire to find a woman to live with and marry. Someone to love and someone to seek Christ with wholly together. Its epecially hard to find anyone due to lockdown. I shouldn't get down over it, and I shouldn't cry over it. As much as it hurts me, it's only more the reason to go to Jesus. To hand over all these desires, thought, hurt and issues into His hand and be satisfied and fulfilled in Him alone, living by His word and being used for His will - not mine.
The lockdowns were government trials to see if the population is ready for the Marxists to take over and destroy our freedom and sovereignty! Get ready for the boot of tyranny to be stepping on your face!! Then will anyone care about singleness or marriage! We'll all be in slavery for a long, long time! And there's nothing anyone can do to stop this!
Yes you understand the struggle. We are content in Jesus Christ and he is capable of meeting all our needs, but having someone to journey with you through life seems nice. Nonetheless God calls some people not to be chosen for marriage. He knows what is best for us even if we don't understand why!
I am Single but I'm not Sick, but even so Thankful Because GOD in Christ is With me Most of the Time Everyday as i am Thinking About HIM Most of the Time Everyday.Negative Thoughts can do nothing against the Positive Good Spirits in Which the LORD GODFATHER in Christ Hath Given me.For as HIS SOUL LIVES Today and Everyday Continually Everlastingly, so Also the Soul in Christ in Which HE Hath Given me Lives today and everyday continually Everlastingly.
What does that mean - single Christians don’t have their hearts right, just because they struggle in singleness, they’re hearts aren’t right. Married people are NEVER treated like this
What’s that supposed to mean? EVERYONE needs to get their hearts right with Christ. Singleness is not a punishment or less than. Neither is God transactional
Not everyone can be single or even should be. Paul says he wished that everyone could be like him, but God has given the institute of marriage so we don't burn in our desire. I am 60 and have been single for 10 yrs after living in 2 terrible marriages. God has finally called me to His own, and I am complete. I will never marry again (neither should I) or desire to. My free time can be focused on prayer, the Word, worship, ministering to friends and family and anything else the Lord leads me to do. I do sometimes wish for the companionship I felt during the better moments of my marriages. But the horrible times were so bad I wished I never had married. I obviously am too broken to choose a proper mate. And I wasn't following the Lord. Being alone can be hard. But being married poorly is much more a living hell. I rejoice that the Lord has called me while I am single.
I wish more divorced people thought that way. There is a lot of controversy whether one can remarry under certain circumstances, but many believers hold to the position that there are no reasons permitting a remarriage unless your ex dies. I am old now and no longer am able to function in having sexual intimacy. I simply cannot perform this act of marriage anymore! So I am seeking to focus full-time on the needs of the Kingdom!
In all creation, everything we see is a part of God and speaks about God and his attributes and glory. I can get to know God in marriage a certain way that I can't in singleness. I can get to know God a certain way as a mother that I can't if I don't have children. Everything we experience on this earth, is a way to see God in a new light. I believe that God puts that desire for marriage in us, not only for us to love and be loved, but to get to know God through that relationship. There is a love created for husband and wives, for children and parents, for friends and for all the different relationships we can experience. A brother can't give you what a father can, or a husband. Everyone has a particular role to play towards someone else, but God is all, so he teaches us and reveals us who he is through all those relationships. So, being content in Christ is not isolating yourself from every person and everything around you and not finding satisfaction in those things, but recognizing that he is in everything and that there is a way to see who he is in everything. Christ is refered to as the Bridegroom, and the church as his bride. He is also refered as the Head, and we are the body. So through the body we have, God has revealed us this aspect of who he is. As the body has members and organs and cells, and the head directs our movement, this how it is also with Christ and his body. We are like little cells, with our role to play, and a place for each one. Because if one cell is missing, the member is incomplete and can't function at it's fullest. I hope this makes sense, this is what the Holy Spirit has been teaching me about God and showing me that God is in everything.
Marriage is to be the ultimate love triangle between man wife and Christ as the two become closer to Christ they become closer to one another. Beyond that it’s impossible to ignore the component of sexual desire that comes with finding a spouse. Paul said it is better to marry than to burn with passion. If our sexual desire is so much of a stumbling block that we lose focus then a spouse may be God’s will.
No it’s not a always a good love triangle like you make it seem. In corinthians Paul also says that if possible you should stay single and sold out to Christ! I don’t here this preached much. Verses below. “So then, he who marries his betrothed does right, but he who does not marry her does better.” 1 Corinthians 7:38 NIV www.bible.com/111/1co.7.38. “But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-how he can please his wife- and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-how she can please her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:33-34 NIV www.bible.com/111/1co.7.33-34. I ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO THINK ON THIS BEFORE SEEKING A PARTNER LIFE IS SHORT AND ETERNITY WITH YOU TRUE PARTNER JESUS WILL LAST FOREVER.
now in my late 40's and have had a series of disasterous relationships. Would still like to meet someone though. Its easy for those who already have a partner to say 'be content' and stuff like that. Bet they wouldnt like to be single now..... we were built to be with someone, to procreate and so on.
Tony Rowan In corinthians Paul also says that if possible you should stay single and sold out to Christ! I don’t here this preached much. Verses below. “So then, he who marries his betrothed does right, but he who does not marry her does better.” 1 Corinthians 7:38 NIV www.bible.com/111/1co.7.38. “But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-how he can please his wife- and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-how she can please her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:33-34 NIV www.bible.com/111/1co.7.33-34. I ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO THINK ON THIS BEFORE SEEKING A PARTNER LIFE IS SHORT AND ETERNITY WITH YOU TRUE PARTNER JESUS WILL LAST FOREVER.
Tony Rowan I rarely see ppl promoting these radical beliefs. They don’t realize God is coming back for a church without spot or wrinkle. Christians today have become Luke warm..
Tony Rowan I’m sorry for seeing your comment late. But yes I’d do! I’ve gone through some suffering and in my lowest of points found an unearthly strength and encouragement through the Holy Spirit. “When I am weak then I am strong” at these low points God showed me the reward and beauty of Himselff, heaven, and the relationship I share with him. “Rejoice when you suffer for great is your reward in heaven” I felt this thoroughly in my trials and tribulation. I want to work to make him proud. 80 years of life doesn’t compare to billions of years in heaven. So instead of working for my earthly reward or money I’m working for my management posisitiin in heaven “we will rule and reign in Gods kingdom” “the least will be called greatest” i also must mention I found a partner and was with them for five years. I experienced all a relationship with another person could offer and found it lacking, compared to my fulfillment in God and my eternal reward that I will glorify him with. I wish I hadn’t stumbled in my past relationship “but god works all things for the good of those who called according to his purpose” I have been single for 7 years and want to remain unmarried. I felt I needed to share not only my strengths but also my weaknesses and how I got to the point I’m at now. If you want to talk please let me know. I also have email.
@@Bradmhj So because you know what you are missing you are able to let go? And what about the fact that most people do not have the gift of celibacy? Do you want them to burn instead of marry? Remember, most people are NOT called to be single! However, because the current church culture is broken, many singles struggle to make a connection. I am always amazed at the sympathy people have for a barren married woman desiring a baby, yet those same people will tell her single sister that she is ungrateful because she desires a family... makes no sense...
The reasoning goes more along the lines of: I have intimacy with Christ and I want that intimacy to last. My spouse shall not be a hinderance to that intimacy but on the contrary, they should be a positive force in it. Our marriage should be a ministry. I have received the gift of intercession and worship. I want my future marriage to be continuous worship of the Lord. I want my future husband and I to care about saving souls, asking the Lord to build our family as an institution that is designed to spread the gospel. Marriage is and should be about God's glory just like everything else in our lives. The fact that most Christians don't see it this way only indicates how narrow the path actually is. But some of us have had our eyes truly opened on this Matter. The danger with wanting marriage for marriage is that you run the risk of falling asleep out of fleshly satisfaction because you have ticked a box. I wasn’t born thinking like this, God had to teach me how to count on him first, there is so much treasure in the time we have with him that it's a shame to see singles waste it on fantasizing about marriage. I thank the Lord for delivering me from this form of idolatry. The kingdom of Heaven is God's top priority, everything else will be given on top, but is not mandatory, so we should regain focus!!! (A comment I posted elsewhere)
The fact that both married and other single Christians like yourself paint single Christians to be this ignorant and idolatrous group of people is what is sad. Why are you qualified to say that so few single view marriage in this way. Why do you assume we don’t want marriage for the glory of God and that we’re wasting our time. Do you accuse married people of this when they desire to have a child? No because married people are never questioned in this way, but single Christians are assumed to be immature and so we continue to get treated like children who need to be lectured on the basics. WE’RE the patient ones- we’re doing it God’s way. Waiting faithfully and constantly getting told to be patient. We want to get married for God’s glory, we wait instead of having premarital sex. And we’re just assumed to be idolatrous - it’s completely unfair and insulting. God says that we can get married rather than to burn with passion but when we’re justifiably frustrated after YEARS of singleness, we’re told we’re wasting our singleness or whatever. Do Christians tell this to 19 year olds that get married? No, but 40 year old women who have to deal with never having her own children - yeah just generalise and say she’s ‘wasting’ her singleness. No, we just want marriage. Want does not equal idolatry and being sad after waiting over a DECADE is not wasting. We’ve had more than enough single years, stop blaming us for not being thrilled that there’s more years to come and maybe even forever. It’s not fun and we don’t have to pretend that it is for your benefit. If you’re so happy then stay single, leave the rest of us to want marriage without making us feel guilty. We can’t waste singleness when we’ve BEEN single for YEARS and are just TIRED of waiting waiting waiting. You don’t know what we’re doing or not doing so don’t tell us we’re wasting our singleness as if we’re turning down opportunities to do good things. Go tell married people that who literally WASTE their time posting their families in social media to show off. Why is it not sad to you that they waste their season, easy to punch down on singles just for feeling sad about being lonely.
I can assure you all not one pastor or Christian for that matter ever saw a woman or man and and thought, I want to marry this person so that I can become a better Christian and be closer to God..... anyone that claims this or tries to preach it is a liar.
The reasoning goes more along the lines of: I have intimacy with Christ and I want that intimacy to last. My spouse shall not be a hinderance to that intimacy but on the contrary, they should be a positive force in it. Our marriage should be a ministry. I have received the gift of intercession and worship. I want my future marriage to be continuous worship of the Lord. I want my future husband and I to care about saving souls, asking the Lord to build our family as an institution that is designed to spread the gospel. Marriage is and should be about God's glory just like everything else in our lives. The fact that most Christians don't see it this way as you mention only indicates to you how narrow the path actually is. But some of us have had our eyes truly opened on this Matter. The danger with wanting marriage for marriage is that you run the risk of falling asleep out of fleshly satisfaction because you have ticked a box. I wasn’t born thinking like this, God had to teach me how to count of him first, there is so much treasure in the time we have with him that it's a shame to see singles waste it on fantasizing about marriage. I thank the Lord for delivering me from this form of idolization. The kingdom of Heaven is God's top priority, everything else will be given on top, but is not mandatory, so we should regain focus!!!
I believe you are wrong. If a Christian asked God to change him in this way to desire God further in his future wife then it can be full-filled I believe. As in the Bible it says “ask and it shall be given” which is answered when not asked out of selfish ambition. This then means a Christian may be able to do so through the power of the Lord.
It's much better than my scenario. As I stood at the altar facing my soon-to-be bride, I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling that I wasn't supposed to be there. Sure enough, many years of marital hell finally brought me to the point of living alone for the last few years. I miss the physical affection and companionship from marriage, but if you marry a wicked person, your soul will dry up like a raisin. You might as well have married Satan himself. Be cautious.... seek God and grow into a TRULY whole, mature woman in Christ. Then you'll truly be as blessing to a man and you'll not accept anything less of one you choose either.
I wish I had married young like my pastor friends. I don't know how to be satisfied with singleness. I didn't put the desire to marry in my heart. The word says ask and you shall receive that your joy may be full. My heart is always heavy about this. I could be having a good day and some couple walks by and I am back to square one. Even prayer gets me angry because God does not answer my prayers with any tangible results. How long can I maintain praying to a God who ignores my desires? The people who compare unwanted singleness to barrenness are right and I am also barren because I was waiting on the Lord and he decided I didn't deserve to have a family.
Dont beat yourself up, if it was Gods will it would've happened. The life of singleness isnt lesser even though it may feel so. Ultimately the gospel mission God has called us to should be our priority. Take comfort in the gospel and his kingdom, dont stop praying for marriage in wisdom and if it will be, it will be (the will of God).
I don't think God thinks you didn't deserve to have a family. While I am still relatively young at 31, I've also never had any kind of romantic relationship before. Never found anyone with the qualities I want, so I've never even tried to get into a romantic relationship. Not sure if she even exists. I've always joked to myself that if I were to ever have a wife, God would probably have to come down, ring my doorbell and say, here's your wife, take good care of her. There were 2 things that were pointed out to me that kind of stuck in my head. I don't know if they are from God or not. What I ask God for in a wife is basically she's perfect for me. Not that she's perfect in general, as no human is, but she's perfect for me specifically, even if we have to work out some kinks together along the way. Maybe God has a wife for me, but what if I don't meet her qualities? What in me needs to change in order for God to reveal her to me? I've also heard other young pastors express that instead of looking for a spouse, you should build yourself up in the word of God so you could be ready for anyone; meet anyone's qualities. Easier said than done, yeah? But the goal is still the same. The other point relates to Jesus' 1000 year reign. There are many different interpretations on what it's going to be like; but it seems like there will still be marriage and even children born during the 1000 years. What if God has set our spouses aside for that time? What if our ideal spouse has already passed on? I think about those kinds of things a lot. Perhaps our struggle with singleness over this life will set us up for unparalleled treasury of our spouses in the next. Don't lose hope or faith just yet. The way the world is going, that time may come sooner than you think. Biblical prophecy seems to be jumping off the page in the middle east. I think there's a good chance it could even happen in our lifetimes.
@@BlackWinds Marriage only happens in this life. There is no marriage, husband/wife relationships in Heaven. As for the 1000-year reign, only humans that lived through the Great Tribulation and are alive during the reign will get to partake in marriage. Those of us that have died or were raptured will return for the reign but in our permanent super bodies and we won't be partaking in stuff like marriage.
@@ModelJames13 I'm well aware there will be no marriage in heaven, as we will metaphorically be married to God. We will be like a bride waiting for her groom as represented in the Bible between God and the church. Do you have verses for your interpretation of marriage on earth through the 1000 year reign? Also some people take a pre or post tribulation rapture stance which would change the results of your interpretation. I personally don't know which as from what I remember from scripture, it sounds like a pre-tribulation rapture but imo it makes more sense to have a post tribulation rapture just before the destruction of the wicked.
@@BlackWinds The reason the Rapture is pre-Tribulation is because that 7-year period is judgement on the Earth and Christians are spared that judgement. Also the Antichrist can't begin his evil reign without the removal of the real church taking place first.
I really like John Pipers ministry and these videos are generally great but this didn't really offer real consolation for me...sadly I thought as much before watching, and so it was...this one left me feeling as empty as before in regard to a satisfying answer to this topic! To me it was a none answer! The desire for a spouse I think is a basic primary drive and instinct in humans (God did say after all "its not good that man should be alone..) just as is eating food and drinking water. Sure we can survive physically without a spouse unlike food/drink/sleep. But you cannot switch it off nor will anything else be a substitute. Perhaps if it was so then most Christians should remain single to serve the Lord as Paul was and be content in their singleness....but clearly they don't! Because they're not and can't be! Its not in anyway comparable to wanting a job or to be taller in my view. They weren't really valid comparisons. Single Christians are frequently lonely Christians and unless you have such a close relationship with the Lord (like I've never known anyone that is really THAT close) then its an ongoing stuggle and sorrow to live with. The apostle Paul was a lot closer to God than any Christian I've ever known and the level of revelation he had and supernatural encounters/miraculous happenings was off the chart if to be compared to what you see in churches these days. He was truly in another league to most Christians, both in terms of revelation and closeness to God and also the persecutions he suffered also. Heck, he even started out with a supernatural encounter on his road to Damascus! Pity party over....woe is me! ;-)
The only thing harder than being single is being abandoned by your wife. At least someone who has never married can marry if there is an opportunity. In my boat it seems I'm supposed to remain alone forever unless I want to live in adultery.
Dale, if you are a Christian, you started out with a supernatural encounter. You have the same Holy Spirit that Paul had. I can empathize with you, but I do know that God's grace is more than enough for whatever your situation is! You can find your ultimate satisfaction in Him!!
Dale, I really respect the kind of feelings that you have, and that I think the desire for a spouse (as Piper said) is good and Biblical. But there are two things that are maybe helpful to think and definitely pray about. 1.) Wanting Christ more than a spouse- Our real treasure, and real satisfaction can only be found in God. He fulfils us in ways that you can't even imagine- not to mention that He will fulfil you infinitely more than another broken human could. It's idolatrous to want anything more than God, put simply. I really want to encourage you to see how you're not lacking if you don't have a spouse- so many massive Biblical figures didn't- and you'd never say that they were lacking or not content. Jesus, Paul, and John the Baptist died without ever marrying and yet they're held up as examples for us in the Bible 2.) The idea that single Christians are lonely Christians- this is surely a myth that comes out of our culture where so many people find their worth through other people's estimation. Your worth is in Christ! God RANSOMED HIS SON for you. You can have that tight relationship with God even if you're not Paul. And more, Paul had such a close connection with friends and fellow servants of the gospel- he speaks with such affection for all of the people in the churches he writes to... it's clear that you can be relationally fulfilled even without being married! I'm praying for you, brother, that as we continue walking with God together, that the Spirit would continue transforming our minds so that we see the pleasing and perfect will of God before us, and that He would continue to give us the strength and courage to walk that narrow path for all eternity
Mitchell Wong you are certainly speaking out of a point of great Revelation. I believe too that Jesus will infinitely fullfill us. And so I stand in prayer with you for the rest of the body of Christ to desire Christ more than anything including feeling complete by another mortal. Jesus is everything we ever want or desire. Desire Him more and all this struggles you will get to understand and will be content in Him.
"If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposition (lol, tattoos, singleness, q&a's baby?) every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at that moment attacking, I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christ. Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is proved, and to be steady on all the battlefield besides is mere flight and disgrace if he flinches at that point. "
These kind of questions after minute 6 don't help, they're hypothetical and no one marries with distinct feelings/knowledge of the affirmative. Also asking married people these questions doesn't help, as some people have already said. Perhaps the only way to continue as a single christian person is to say to God, I know I won't know my future and ask your help to go on...as a single person. Other people just say whatever, but it's like cancer, no one knows your pain except the people who have gone 'through' it..
Diana21692 In corinthians Paul also says that if possible you should stay single and sold out to Christ! I don’t here this preached much. Verses below. “So then, he who marries his betrothed does right, but he who does not marry her does better.” 1 Corinthians 7:38 NIV www.bible.com/111/1co.7.38. “But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-how he can please his wife- and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-how she can please her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:33-34 NIV www.bible.com/111/1co.7.33-34. I ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO THINK ON THIS BEFORE SEEKING A PARTNER LIFE IS SHORT AND ETERNITY WITH YOU TRUE PARTNER JESUS WILL LAST FOREVER.
I'm telling you that the majority of Christians who get married do so to have legal sex! There is little to no interest in knowing Christ more or deeper. I had a family crisis and we had to wait two weeks to pray with the pastor and the Elders! Why? The prior week they didn't want to miss the 1 PM NFL football game!
What they did to you was terrible and I hope you find healing from your church hurt. As well as real Christian fellowship instead of those who would rather watch a stupid game when God called them to help in your time of need.
Funny, he is 22 a Single..I am 54 and single and would like a Husband, STOP Complaining!!! Every GOOD and PERFECT GIFT Comes from ABOVE, coming Down from the Father of the Heavenly Lights, who doesn't Change like Shifting Shadows!!!
People are individuals and we were made unique by our Maker. We all have different tolerances to different things. Blanket sermons and statements generally apply to a small contingent of people while the rest are left wondering "What about me? What's wrong with me?" Telling someone that they can get over their circumstances if they just pray, sing, minister a little harder generally isn't the best advice in my experience.
You are never alone/ If you are feeling lonely, it means that you are not spiritually aware, not evolving in your thinking and lifestyle/ Silence and solitude are essential for your spiritual health and intimacy with the Holy Spirit/
@@jasonwilliams8321 By God's design, man and woman amorously bond in matrimonial love/ We don't go looking for love, we don't find love/ In my theological understanding, love happens whenever it's destined to happen/ The true Christian loves God and loves souls/
@@perrytornado Too much of anything is bad. There are lots of people nowadays that are very lonely and its not all their fault. My parents generation were married by their early 20'a. Was life easy? No but its no easier in perspective for singles in my experience having lived both sides of the spectrum. I do not think it's God's design that we marry nearing middle age. We've messed things up and the church in general through capitulation to societal whims and fads has aided in our moral and cultural degeneration. I do agree with you that we don't "find love" love develops and for the vast majority of history marriages were arranged and two people marrying certainly didn't love each other when the vows were exchanged. There was a night of sex without any love that the churches all tell us must be present before that occurs. Love developed out of that.
@@jasonwilliams8321 You may agree or disagree with people's opinion/ I'm not giving opinion on the topic of single status and married couples/ I'm counselling the faithful on theological truth/ There's no sense in philosophizing about moderation b/c that pertains to behavioural science and therapeutic treatment/ Sentimentalism and romanticism are just as sinful as hedonism/ Marriage is vocational sacrament of the Church/ The vital process of confession, repentance and redemption exorcises demonically possessed souls/
Be careful not to condescend those who are youthful. You would be utterly shocked at the amount of life experience and horrific brokenness that a person can experience in that amount of time.
@@justinbirkelo6806 Oh, I've no doubt that someone at age 22 can have difficult life experiences and horrific brokenness. I merely would hesitate to count "the pain of truly prolonged singleness and celibacy" as one of the trials that a 22 year-old person might face.
@@Arcanon10 You'd be surprised what the Lord allows when a person of any age has such severe trauma, especially undealt with. All I'm saying is, don't discount or look down upon the afflictions of others. As unrealistic or laughable you may think them to be, they are very real for those walking in them. Blessings.
@@justinbirkelo6806 I take your point and agree. My admittedly caustic comments are just a reflection of my own struggles as a 38 year-old who has spent years and years praying for a wife but who has never been married and has remained a virgin as our Lord commands. I'm tired and frustrated, simply stated. And in my weakness, at times I lash out. My apologies, friend. Blessings back at you.
I know I'm gonna get flak for this, but if take Paul at his word in the New Testament, it is clear that he takes a very low view of marriage. He seems to regard marriage as a band-aid, the only thing stopping you from sleeping around with everyone on the block. In some ways this is true, sure. But marriage is so much more than that (good and bad). It's ironic that Christians take their marriage advice from Paul - an unmarried guy.
Your not really answering the question. I can be content in a miserable life, and help others... You know what though... I'm sick of being single at 42. I understand now it's a pipedream prayer. I want a partner in Christ, not endangering solitude! I'm sick of my illness, which actually bars me from church. Stupid perfume that causes anaphylaxic till God smells it in heaven. Keep acting, more and more homeless. I'll long for marriage till I die, but rare disease, homeless, jobless (hahaha because once employers realize working for them will kill me....) I get fired.
Then again with so many very dumb narcissists and feminists women certainly tells the story as well, compared to the women in the old days which most were real ladies and very old fashioned at that time which made love very easy to find as well. Nowadays most women cause divorce as it is. Been there.
I’m single and I’m not seething it just seems like sometimes married people and the church in general puts those who are barren above singles or those who are families above singles. Also many in the comment section are intimating that God is transactional when marriage is not a biblical promise
If you can just transcend the physical and level up to the next chakra then you will no longer be held down by anything in this life. You will have perfect spiritual oneness. Lol
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
I'm single and have been for so long I feel like crying but I want to be satisfied in Christ and not ungrateful
Tony Rowan sorry my friend. Not biblical. If God’s plan was for her not to be married she wouldn’t have the desire. Singleness is a gift that not all can receive, only those to whom it has been given. She needs to know that a spouse won’t fulfill her totally, but marriage is Gods plan for most people. A plan ordained by him.
Jennifer Taylor I feel you tho...
@Sagar Eliyas Jacky Hello, I just wanted to remind you that if you are born a man you are a man. And if you are born a woman you are a woman. Pray you don't get confused and God bless in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
@Sagar Eliyas Jacky Hello I just wanted to remind you that if you are born a man you are a man. And if you are born a woman you are a woman. Pray you don't get confused and God bless in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
@Sagar Eliyas Jacky I don't understand what you mean by saying you're a lesbian trapped in Man body. But when you say you hate men that's very concerning because God commands us to "Love our neighbor as ourselves" whether the neighbor is man or woman we are commanded to love them.
I hate how the church make singles feel bad for wanting to be married.
Agreed. It's nonsense. And it's often married "leaders" telling the single people they need to get right with God before they're allowed to find a spouse or even date. Some of these same married ministers are even cheating on their spouses while they tell single people this. Not saying it's common, but it does happen.
It really does suck. They never do that with couples that struggle with fertility
I feel you. I'm 34 and still unmarried, and am kind of treated like an outcast like there's something wrong with me. It really hurts. I've always desired to be married to a Godly husband, but so far I've only encountered men I'd be unequally yoked with. It's not like it's my fault... some Christians still judge & label. It's really uncool.
@@FreyaRagnild Unequally yoked in what way?
It’s frustrating that married pastors are so tough on singles, yet sympathize with and eagerly pray for barren couples desiring a child... It’s a form of favoritism...
For sure. They gaslight us.
Barren people that are married can cry and everybody feels sorry for them. But when you are barren because you never even got the chance to be married you must suck it up and be satisfied with Christ.
So true! I just had this realization also. Barren couples are hardly ever accused of making having kids an idol. Hardly ever are they told “just be content with your marriage and serve God childless.” But everywhere I look it’s, “don’t make marriage an idol. If you never get married, then just be ok with it.” Married couples at least got the married part down, which in my opinion is more difficult. You can always adopt a child, but you can’t adopt a spouse lol.
Exactly, when do couples EVER receive tough love for wanting a child
So true. You don't hear any of them say children are a distraction (which they are. they take a lot of time and energy away. Way more than just you and your spouse) You can serve God better without them. Just be content with you and your spouse. etc....
I AM content in Jesus.I know he's always there and has saved me from eternal damnation.Its still hard to struggle in this life alone or be without that person you truly love and wish to grow old with.
Trully that its hard but we have to persevere to press on to love Jesus 🙏💖
Yes you speak the truth. It is difficult being single and not having a good partner by your side. But some people lose their partner for a variety of reasons. There are no guarantees in this life! Except for Jesus!!
@Anthony that's a tough pill for me to swallow
I wish more pastors demonstrated this by having the gift of singleness themselves.
I have yet to meet an unmarried pastor
Sam Timlick If you take that passage literally enough, then a man who remarries after his wife dies isn’t a husband of one wife, either.
Pastors likely have their relationship with Christ right, when you have satisfaction single with Christ, you will receive the partner you desire. Is the idea. Not always
@@sovereigngrace9723 I would never dare tell an infertile woman, "When you have satisfaction without a child, then God will give you a baby."
Vanessa, agreed. It’s quite peculiar, isn’t it? Jesus and Paul, the paragons of pastoral ministry were single men yet in our culture encountering a single pastor is like a Bigfoot sighting. I think it speaks to the values of our western Churchianity. .
I think the Bible teaches us to be content in the situation that we find ourselves, but that doesn't mean we don't have goals and aspirations. If we had no goals, we would become stagnate in Christ and forever satisfied without growth. In the case of marriage, I believe the Bible teaches that marriage is something to strive towards, we just can't allow that goal to overpower our peace in the moment, leaving us dissatisfied in God because He hasn't chosen to give it to us yet.
It says to be content in Jesus in any situation, not the situation itself.
This is good
@David Alexis Great point however marriage was a respected social responsibility and people had a healthy desire in Paul’s era. Now the ideals of marriage is crushed and tainted. But Jesus did say end times will be selfish . Exhibit A
We’re not allowing it to overpower our peace - we simply struggle with peace and it’s HARD the same what it’s hard for married people who have their problems. Except Single Christian are left alone with this and told BE happy!!! Well it’s not that easy
@@chriswalker2562 tel that to married people who want children - easy to say when you have all the benefits of marriage. Why is the single person expected to so easily be happy when life is hard and they’re sexual frustrated - the Bible says we can be married but Christian put us off marriage and then make us feel guilty for both being content - excuse us for not being content when married people shove their contentment in our face
I'll be the first to say it, I absolutely Hate being single
Me too bro. Has even affected my zeal for God and don't seem to get over it even with much prayer
@@trevrockrock16 I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I have been there and its hard to experience God's love when experiencing suffering like that. But just to encourage you, things do get better with time. Have hope and tell God all that is in your heart. Even if it is the angry thoughts and pain. I have seen that He gives perfect peace when you cast your burdens on Him.
Me too
Me too😅
Will y’all pray for me that my love of Jesus would grow stronger💕
I am so tired of hearing married pastors talk down to singles as if we are less holy than themselves. Kind of like a well fed person telling a starving person that they should try to be more content in their starvation. It’s horrible how married Christians treat their single brothers & sisters in Christ. If singleness is so wonderful Bother Piper, why did you get married at the age of 22? Do you regret doing so? Answer carefully, as your wife may read this.
Exactly what I was thinking. At least hearing from a pastor who married at a more mature age would be encouraging. All the pastors I hear talk about marriage were young 18-22 year olds who probably didn't know the difference between love and lust at the time.
Many of the commenters here/people who have or still going through prolonged singleness may have come to the realisation that the Pastor is not fit or qualified to give them advice or word of encouragement on this matter.My advice is to not take counsel from those people who don't know what it's like to be lonely or from those who got married in their early 20s.They have no clue nor even understand the gravity and depravity of being single.Practical way of handling this is to seek God alone or ask for advice from those who happened to get into dating way later than others or from those eventually got married late.Theyre the kind of persons who can give you sound advice without looking down on you as a sub standard human or a nagging desperate christian.
When I bemoan my singleness and hear "you have more opportunities to serve! I kinda want to smack them.
How it equates in my mind is. "I have a desire to find a wife and raise a family." It is then said to me "it's alright that you don't have that YOU CAN WORK MORE".
Not to say that marriage isn't work. I desire that cooperative team, taking on the world and serving and glorifying God.
But nope! Here's a mop bucket!
not the mop bucket! 🤣
AMEN! I know exactly how you feel! It's like don't exploit my pain people.
thank you ptr John for reminding us to focus on what is eternal and what is more valuable without neglecting the day-to-day reality of walking with God
I desire to be rich. I desire to have meaningful work. I desire a wife and a large family of many children. I desire to have brotherhood & fellowship of God-fearing men.
But I have prioritized knowing Christ above all of these things. I’m still working on these things but they’re not the center of my joy.
Remember to say this to a barren couple the next time you see them crying before God.
That's really good, because soon the Marxists will seize power and destroy our nation and most of the "establishment" churches. At that point all any believer will have is the hope and joy in Jesus!
Thanks John, these podcasts have been so helpful through the weeks/ months.
Jesus fulfills me, and as deeply as I desire to find a woman to live with and marry. Someone to love and someone to seek Christ with wholly together. Its epecially hard to find anyone due to lockdown. I shouldn't get down over it, and I shouldn't cry over it. As much as it hurts me, it's only more the reason to go to Jesus. To hand over all these desires, thought, hurt and issues into His hand and be satisfied and fulfilled in Him alone, living by His word and being used for His will - not mine.
The lockdowns were government trials to see if the population is ready for the Marxists to take over and destroy our freedom and sovereignty! Get ready for the boot of tyranny to be stepping on your face!! Then will anyone care about singleness or marriage! We'll all be in slavery for a long, long time! And there's nothing anyone can do to stop this!
Yes you understand the struggle. We are content in Jesus Christ and he is capable of meeting all our needs, but having someone to journey with you through life seems nice. Nonetheless God calls some people not to be chosen for marriage. He knows what is best for us even if we don't understand why!
I am convinced that the right one will come when it's time. We live in hard times
I am Single but I'm not Sick, but even so Thankful Because GOD in Christ is With me Most of the Time Everyday as i am Thinking About HIM Most of the Time Everyday.Negative Thoughts can do nothing against the Positive Good Spirits in Which the LORD GODFATHER in Christ Hath Given me.For as HIS SOUL LIVES Today and Everyday Continually Everlastingly, so Also the Soul in Christ in Which HE Hath Given me Lives today and everyday continually Everlastingly.
Well easier for you because you’re a man- you don’t have to worry about not having children
Get your hearts right with Jesus Christ brothers and sisters.
What does that mean - single Christians don’t have their hearts right, just because they struggle in singleness, they’re hearts aren’t right.
Married people are NEVER treated like this
What’s that supposed to mean? EVERYONE needs to get their hearts right with Christ. Singleness is not a punishment or less than. Neither is God transactional
This is so timely!
I am totally there! I am totally satisfied with Christ, but wouldn’t mind being married…🇨🇦
Not everyone can be single or even should be. Paul says he wished that everyone could be like him, but God has given the institute of marriage so we don't burn in our desire. I am 60 and have been single for 10 yrs after living in 2 terrible marriages. God has finally called me to His own, and I am complete. I will never marry again (neither should I) or desire to. My free time can be focused on prayer, the Word, worship, ministering to friends and family and anything else the Lord leads me to do. I do sometimes wish for the companionship I felt during the better moments of my marriages. But the horrible times were so bad I wished I never had married. I obviously am too broken to choose a proper mate. And I wasn't following the Lord. Being alone can be hard. But being married poorly is much more a living hell. I rejoice that the Lord has called me while I am single.
I wish more divorced people thought that way. There is a lot of controversy whether one can remarry under certain circumstances, but many believers hold to the position that there are no reasons permitting a remarriage unless your ex dies. I am old now and no longer am able to function in having sexual intimacy. I simply cannot perform this act of marriage anymore! So I am seeking to focus full-time on the needs of the Kingdom!
Oh i am from Singapore too!
Vanna Wong me too which Church do you attend?
Hello! I’m from Singapore too!
Awesome. ❤️
let us be satisfied in you Lord while waiting for you to provide you know what we need better than we do
Amen, very well said thank you for sharing, & thank you brother John, for giving us single people insight on this question.
God bless you all. 😀
In all creation, everything we see is a part of God and speaks about God and his attributes and glory. I can get to know God in marriage a certain way that I can't in singleness. I can get to know God a certain way as a mother that I can't if I don't have children. Everything we experience on this earth, is a way to see God in a new light. I believe that God puts that desire for marriage in us, not only for us to love and be loved, but to get to know God through that relationship. There is a love created for husband and wives, for children and parents, for friends and for all the different relationships we can experience. A brother can't give you what a father can, or a husband. Everyone has a particular role to play towards someone else, but God is all, so he teaches us and reveals us who he is through all those relationships. So, being content in Christ is not isolating yourself from every person and everything around you and not finding satisfaction in those things, but recognizing that he is in everything and that there is a way to see who he is in everything. Christ is refered to as the Bridegroom, and the church as his bride. He is also refered as the Head, and we are the body. So through the body we have, God has revealed us this aspect of who he is. As the body has members and organs and cells, and the head directs our movement, this how it is also with Christ and his body. We are like little cells, with our role to play, and a place for each one. Because if one cell is missing, the member is incomplete and can't function at it's fullest. I hope this makes sense, this is what the Holy Spirit has been teaching me about God and showing me that God is in everything.
Marriage is to be the ultimate love triangle between man wife and Christ as the two become closer to Christ they become closer to one another. Beyond that it’s impossible to ignore the component of sexual desire that comes with finding a spouse. Paul said it is better to marry than to burn with passion. If our sexual desire is so much of a stumbling block that we lose focus then a spouse may be God’s will.
No it’s not a always a good love triangle like you make it seem. In corinthians Paul also says that if possible you should stay single and sold out to Christ! I don’t here this preached much. Verses below.
“So then, he who marries his betrothed does right, but he who does not marry her does better.”
1 Corinthians 7:38 NIV
www.bible.com/111/1co.7.38.
“But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-how he can please his wife- and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-how she can please her husband.”
1 Corinthians 7:33-34 NIV
www.bible.com/111/1co.7.33-34.
I ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO THINK ON THIS BEFORE SEEKING A PARTNER LIFE IS SHORT AND ETERNITY WITH YOU TRUE PARTNER JESUS WILL LAST FOREVER.
Sex and companionship are a wonderful thing,sex with my wife is probably the closest I'll ever get heaven
@@sitka49 how do I get to heaven even though I don't have a wife
@@oaklandsoldier8520 Paul Saul ,if he made the list .
Might be in heaven, and he wasn't married apparently !
I wish I was still this optimistic. Now I’m just bitter and resentful towards God.
now in my late 40's and have had a series of disasterous relationships. Would still like to meet someone though. Its easy for those who already have a partner to say 'be content' and stuff like that. Bet they wouldnt like to be single now..... we were built to be with someone, to procreate and so on.
@Tony Rowan If it were me that heard what you just said, it's better off that I kill myself.
Tony Rowan In corinthians Paul also says that if possible you should stay single and sold out to Christ! I don’t here this preached much. Verses below.
“So then, he who marries his betrothed does right, but he who does not marry her does better.”
1 Corinthians 7:38 NIV
www.bible.com/111/1co.7.38.
“But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-how he can please his wife- and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-how she can please her husband.”
1 Corinthians 7:33-34 NIV
www.bible.com/111/1co.7.33-34.
I ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO THINK ON THIS BEFORE SEEKING A PARTNER LIFE IS SHORT AND ETERNITY WITH YOU TRUE PARTNER JESUS WILL LAST FOREVER.
Tony Rowan I rarely see ppl promoting these radical beliefs. They don’t realize God is coming back for a church without spot or wrinkle. Christians today have become Luke warm..
Tony Rowan I’m sorry for seeing your comment late. But yes I’d do! I’ve gone through some suffering and in my lowest of points found an unearthly strength and encouragement through the Holy Spirit. “When I am weak then I am strong” at these low points God showed me the reward and beauty of Himselff, heaven, and the relationship I share with him. “Rejoice when you suffer for great is your reward in heaven” I felt this thoroughly in my trials and tribulation. I want to work to make him proud. 80 years of life doesn’t compare to billions of years in heaven. So instead of working for my earthly reward or money I’m working for my management posisitiin in heaven “we will rule and reign in Gods kingdom” “the least will be called greatest” i also must mention I found a partner and was with them for five years. I experienced all a relationship with another person could offer and found it lacking, compared to my fulfillment in God and my eternal reward that I will glorify him with. I wish I hadn’t stumbled in my past relationship “but god works all things for the good of those who called according to his purpose” I have been single for 7 years and want to remain unmarried. I felt I needed to share not only my strengths but also my weaknesses and how I got to the point I’m at now. If you want to talk please let me know. I also have email.
@@Bradmhj So because you know what you are missing you are able to let go? And what about the fact that most people do not have the gift of celibacy? Do you want them to burn instead of marry? Remember, most people are NOT called to be single! However, because the current church culture is broken, many singles struggle to make a connection. I am always amazed at the sympathy people have for a barren married woman desiring a baby, yet those same people will tell her single sister that she is ungrateful because she desires a family... makes no sense...
I am 47 and still haven't found a wife. I can honestly say that the gift of singleness is not easy nor fun.
Seek first God's Kingdom!
Amen and acknowledge God is all situations and your paths will be made straight
Yes but this doesn’t mean God will grant a spouse It is not a promise neither is god transactional
The reasoning goes more along the lines of: I have intimacy with Christ and I want that intimacy to last. My spouse shall not be a hinderance to that intimacy but on the contrary, they should be a positive force in it. Our marriage should be a ministry.
I have received the gift of intercession and worship. I want my future marriage to be continuous worship of the Lord. I want my future husband and I to care about saving souls, asking the Lord to build our family as an institution that is designed to spread the gospel.
Marriage is and should be about God's glory just like everything else in our lives. The fact that most Christians don't see it this way only indicates how narrow the path actually is. But some of us have had our eyes truly opened on this Matter. The danger with wanting marriage for marriage is that you run the risk of falling asleep out of fleshly satisfaction because you have ticked a box.
I wasn’t born thinking like this, God had to teach me how to count on him first, there is so much treasure in the time we have with him that it's a shame to see singles waste it on fantasizing about marriage. I thank the Lord for delivering me from this form of idolatry. The kingdom of Heaven is God's top priority, everything else will be given on top, but is not mandatory, so we should regain focus!!!
(A comment I posted elsewhere)
@It’s Jonathan. Amen! Only the Spirit can lead one to desire such things, we forget that we must strive first for the Kingdom of Heaven 😀
The fact that both married and other single Christians like yourself paint single Christians to be this ignorant and idolatrous group of people is what is sad.
Why are you qualified to say that so few single view marriage in this way. Why do you assume we don’t want marriage for the glory of God and that we’re wasting our time.
Do you accuse married people of this when they desire to have a child? No because married people are never questioned in this way, but single Christians are assumed to be immature and so we continue to get treated like children who need to be lectured on the basics. WE’RE the patient ones- we’re doing it God’s way. Waiting faithfully and constantly getting told to be patient.
We want to get married for God’s glory, we wait instead of having premarital sex. And we’re just assumed to be idolatrous - it’s completely unfair and insulting. God says that we can get married rather than to burn with passion but when we’re justifiably frustrated after YEARS of singleness, we’re told we’re wasting our singleness or whatever.
Do Christians tell this to 19 year olds that get married? No, but 40 year old women who have to deal with never having her own children - yeah just generalise and say she’s ‘wasting’ her singleness. No, we just want marriage.
Want does not equal idolatry and being sad after waiting over a DECADE is not wasting. We’ve had more than enough single years, stop blaming us for not being thrilled that there’s more years to come and maybe even forever. It’s not fun and we don’t have to pretend that it is for your benefit.
If you’re so happy then stay single, leave the rest of us to want marriage without making us feel guilty. We can’t waste singleness when we’ve BEEN single for YEARS and are just TIRED of waiting waiting waiting. You don’t know what we’re doing or not doing so don’t tell us we’re wasting our singleness as if we’re turning down opportunities to do good things. Go tell married people that who literally WASTE their time posting their families in social media to show off. Why is it not sad to you that they waste their season, easy to punch down on singles just for feeling sad about being lonely.
I can assure you all not one pastor or Christian for that matter ever saw a woman or man and and thought, I want to marry this person so that I can become a better Christian and be closer to God..... anyone that claims this or tries to preach it is a liar.
I think they are just telling thier genuine faith which is not based on Christ as thier King but on thierselves as the king of thier lives😊
The reasoning goes more along the lines of: I have intimacy with Christ and I want that intimacy to last. My spouse shall not be a hinderance to that intimacy but on the contrary, they should be a positive force in it. Our marriage should be a ministry.
I have received the gift of intercession and worship. I want my future marriage to be continuous worship of the Lord. I want my future husband and I to care about saving souls, asking the Lord to build our family as an institution that is designed to spread the gospel.
Marriage is and should be about God's glory just like everything else in our lives. The fact that most Christians don't see it this way as you mention only indicates to you how narrow the path actually is. But some of us have had our eyes truly opened on this Matter. The danger with wanting marriage for marriage is that you run the risk of falling asleep out of fleshly satisfaction because you have ticked a box.
I wasn’t born thinking like this, God had to teach me how to count of him first, there is so much treasure in the time we have with him that it's a shame to see singles waste it on fantasizing about marriage. I thank the Lord for delivering me from this form of idolization. The kingdom of Heaven is God's top priority, everything else will be given on top, but is not mandatory, so we should regain focus!!!
Wise words my friend.
I believe you are wrong. If a Christian asked God to change him in this way to desire God further in his future wife then it can be full-filled I believe. As in the Bible it says “ask and it shall be given” which is answered when not asked out of selfish ambition. This then means a Christian may be able to do so through the power of the Lord.
Me 2!!!💯IM 37 AND STILL SINGLE😠
Hang in there. God is working all things together for His glory and for your good :)
I'm 41 and have been stood up on 3 weddings I don't have answers its like circumstances don't want me to marry
Idoma lion story time?
Rachel Martin lol what's the reason?
It's much better than my scenario.
As I stood at the altar facing my soon-to-be bride, I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling that I wasn't supposed to be there.
Sure enough, many years of marital hell finally brought me to the point of living alone for the last few years.
I miss the physical affection and companionship from marriage, but if you marry a wicked person, your soul will dry up like a raisin. You might as well have married Satan himself.
Be cautious.... seek God and grow into a TRULY whole, mature woman in Christ.
Then you'll truly be as blessing to a man and you'll not accept anything less of one you choose either.
I wish I had married young like my pastor friends. I don't know how to be satisfied with singleness. I didn't put the desire to marry in my heart. The word says ask and you shall receive that your joy may be full. My heart is always heavy about this. I could be having a good day and some couple walks by and I am back to square one. Even prayer gets me angry because God does not answer my prayers with any tangible results. How long can I maintain praying to a God who ignores my desires? The people who compare unwanted singleness to barrenness are right and I am also barren because I was waiting on the Lord and he decided I didn't deserve to have a family.
Dont beat yourself up, if it was Gods will it would've happened. The life of singleness isnt lesser even though it may feel so. Ultimately the gospel mission God has called us to should be our priority. Take comfort in the gospel and his kingdom, dont stop praying for marriage in wisdom and if it will be, it will be (the will of God).
I don't think God thinks you didn't deserve to have a family. While I am still relatively young at 31, I've also never had any kind of romantic relationship before. Never found anyone with the qualities I want, so I've never even tried to get into a romantic relationship. Not sure if she even exists. I've always joked to myself that if I were to ever have a wife, God would probably have to come down, ring my doorbell and say, here's your wife, take good care of her.
There were 2 things that were pointed out to me that kind of stuck in my head. I don't know if they are from God or not. What I ask God for in a wife is basically she's perfect for me. Not that she's perfect in general, as no human is, but she's perfect for me specifically, even if we have to work out some kinks together along the way. Maybe God has a wife for me, but what if I don't meet her qualities? What in me needs to change in order for God to reveal her to me? I've also heard other young pastors express that instead of looking for a spouse, you should build yourself up in the word of God so you could be ready for anyone; meet anyone's qualities. Easier said than done, yeah? But the goal is still the same.
The other point relates to Jesus' 1000 year reign. There are many different interpretations on what it's going to be like; but it seems like there will still be marriage and even children born during the 1000 years. What if God has set our spouses aside for that time? What if our ideal spouse has already passed on? I think about those kinds of things a lot. Perhaps our struggle with singleness over this life will set us up for unparalleled treasury of our spouses in the next. Don't lose hope or faith just yet. The way the world is going, that time may come sooner than you think. Biblical prophecy seems to be jumping off the page in the middle east. I think there's a good chance it could even happen in our lifetimes.
@@BlackWinds Marriage only happens in this life. There is no marriage, husband/wife relationships in Heaven. As for the 1000-year reign, only humans that lived through the Great Tribulation and are alive during the reign will get to partake in marriage. Those of us that have died or were raptured will return for the reign but in our permanent super bodies and we won't be partaking in stuff like marriage.
@@ModelJames13 I'm well aware there will be no marriage in heaven, as we will metaphorically be married to God. We will be like a bride waiting for her groom as represented in the Bible between God and the church. Do you have verses for your interpretation of marriage on earth through the 1000 year reign? Also some people take a pre or post tribulation rapture stance which would change the results of your interpretation. I personally don't know which as from what I remember from scripture, it sounds like a pre-tribulation rapture but imo it makes more sense to have a post tribulation rapture just before the destruction of the wicked.
@@BlackWinds The reason the Rapture is pre-Tribulation is because that 7-year period is judgement on the Earth and Christians are spared that judgement. Also the Antichrist can't begin his evil reign without the removal of the real church taking place first.
I really like John Pipers ministry and these videos are generally great but this didn't really offer real consolation for me...sadly I thought as much before watching, and so it was...this one left me feeling as empty as before in regard to a satisfying answer to this topic! To me it was a none answer! The desire for a spouse I think is a basic primary drive and instinct in humans (God did say after all "its not good that man should be alone..) just as is eating food and drinking water. Sure we can survive physically without a spouse unlike food/drink/sleep. But you cannot switch it off nor will anything else be a substitute. Perhaps if it was so then most Christians should remain single to serve the Lord as Paul was and be content in their singleness....but clearly they don't! Because they're not and can't be! Its not in anyway comparable to wanting a job or to be taller in my view. They weren't really valid comparisons. Single Christians are frequently lonely Christians and unless you have such a close relationship with the Lord (like I've never known anyone that is really THAT close) then its an ongoing stuggle and sorrow to live with. The apostle Paul was a lot closer to God than any Christian I've ever known and the level of revelation he had and supernatural encounters/miraculous happenings was off the chart if to be compared to what you see in churches these days. He was truly in another league to most Christians, both in terms of revelation and closeness to God and also the persecutions he suffered also. Heck, he even started out with a supernatural encounter on his road to Damascus! Pity party over....woe is me! ;-)
Dale, You need to listen to this podcast again.My prayer is it will edify your mind.
The only thing harder than being single is being abandoned by your wife. At least someone who has never married can marry if there is an opportunity. In my boat it seems I'm supposed to remain alone forever unless I want to live in adultery.
Dale, if you are a Christian, you started out with a supernatural encounter. You have the same Holy Spirit that Paul had. I can empathize with you, but I do know that God's grace is more than enough for whatever your situation is! You can find your ultimate satisfaction in Him!!
Dale, I really respect the kind of feelings that you have, and that I think the desire for a spouse (as Piper said) is good and Biblical. But there are two things that are maybe helpful to think and definitely pray about.
1.) Wanting Christ more than a spouse- Our real treasure, and real satisfaction can only be found in God. He fulfils us in ways that you can't even imagine- not to mention that He will fulfil you infinitely more than another broken human could. It's idolatrous to want anything more than God, put simply. I really want to encourage you to see how you're not lacking if you don't have a spouse- so many massive Biblical figures didn't- and you'd never say that they were lacking or not content. Jesus, Paul, and John the Baptist died without ever marrying and yet they're held up as examples for us in the Bible
2.) The idea that single Christians are lonely Christians- this is surely a myth that comes out of our culture where so many people find their worth through other people's estimation. Your worth is in Christ! God RANSOMED HIS SON for you. You can have that tight relationship with God even if you're not Paul. And more, Paul had such a close connection with friends and fellow servants of the gospel- he speaks with such affection for all of the people in the churches he writes to... it's clear that you can be relationally fulfilled even without being married!
I'm praying for you, brother, that as we continue walking with God together, that the Spirit would continue transforming our minds so that we see the pleasing and perfect will of God before us, and that He would continue to give us the strength and courage to walk that narrow path for all eternity
Mitchell Wong you are certainly speaking out of a point of great Revelation. I believe too that Jesus will infinitely fullfill us. And so I stand in prayer with you for the rest of the body of Christ to desire Christ more than anything including feeling complete by another mortal. Jesus is everything we ever want or desire. Desire Him more and all this struggles you will get to understand and will be content in Him.
"If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposition (lol, tattoos, singleness, q&a's baby?) every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at that moment attacking, I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christ. Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is proved, and to be steady on all the battlefield besides is mere flight and disgrace if he flinches at that point. "
These kind of questions after minute 6 don't help, they're hypothetical and no one marries with distinct feelings/knowledge of the affirmative. Also asking married people these questions doesn't help, as some people have already said. Perhaps the only way to continue as a single christian person is to say to God, I know I won't know my future and ask your help to go on...as a single person. Other people just say whatever, but it's like cancer, no one knows your pain except the people who have gone 'through' it..
Diana21692 In corinthians Paul also says that if possible you should stay single and sold out to Christ! I don’t here this preached much. Verses below.
“So then, he who marries his betrothed does right, but he who does not marry her does better.”
1 Corinthians 7:38 NIV
www.bible.com/111/1co.7.38.
“But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-how he can please his wife- and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-how she can please her husband.”
1 Corinthians 7:33-34 NIV
www.bible.com/111/1co.7.33-34.
I ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO THINK ON THIS BEFORE SEEKING A PARTNER LIFE IS SHORT AND ETERNITY WITH YOU TRUE PARTNER JESUS WILL LAST FOREVER.
I'm telling you that the majority of Christians who get married do so to have legal sex! There is little to no interest in knowing Christ more or deeper. I had a family crisis and we had to wait two weeks to pray with the pastor and the Elders! Why? The prior week they didn't want to miss the 1 PM NFL football game!
What they did to you was terrible and I hope you find healing from your church hurt. As well as real Christian fellowship instead of those who would rather watch a stupid game when God called them to help in your time of need.
The church does nothing to help singles find love. All that the church cares about is its own interests.
They tend to come across like Job's comforters.
Funny, he is 22 a Single..I am 54 and single and would like a Husband, STOP Complaining!!! Every GOOD and PERFECT GIFT Comes from ABOVE, coming Down from the Father of the Heavenly Lights, who doesn't Change like Shifting Shadows!!!
People are individuals and we were made unique by our Maker. We all have different tolerances to different things. Blanket sermons and statements generally apply to a small contingent of people while the rest are left wondering "What about me? What's wrong with me?" Telling someone that they can get over their circumstances if they just pray, sing, minister a little harder generally isn't the best advice in my experience.
Translation: Cold showers.
Can i ask what age or how old a Christians can have a boyfriend or to get married?? pls give me a answer
It doesn’t really Matter how old u are to have a boyfriend or husband.
Seems Abraham married around age 137.
As soon as a person is ready. You really want to make sure you get married before 30 or you'll probably have a very rough and sad life. 😎
@@PMA65537 That was his second wife. He married his first wife at a much younger age. 😎
Not all questions have answers though...😀
You are never alone/ If you are feeling lonely, it means that you are not spiritually aware, not evolving in your thinking and lifestyle/ Silence and solitude are essential for your spiritual health and intimacy with the Holy Spirit/
So what does that say about when God looked at Adam and said “It’s not good for man to be alone”.
@@jasonwilliams8321 By God's design, man and woman amorously bond in matrimonial love/ We don't go looking for love, we don't find love/ In my theological understanding, love happens whenever it's destined to happen/ The true Christian loves God and loves souls/
@@perrytornado Too much of anything is bad. There are lots of people nowadays that are very lonely and its not all their fault. My parents generation were married by their early 20'a. Was life easy? No but its no easier in perspective for singles in my experience having lived both sides of the spectrum. I do not think it's God's design that we marry nearing middle age. We've messed things up and the church in general through capitulation to societal whims and fads has aided in our moral and cultural degeneration. I do agree with you that we don't "find love" love develops and for the vast majority of history marriages were arranged and two people marrying certainly didn't love each other when the vows were exchanged. There was a night of sex without any love that the churches all tell us must be present before that occurs. Love developed out of that.
@@jasonwilliams8321 You may agree or disagree with people's opinion/ I'm not giving opinion on the topic of single status and married couples/ I'm counselling the faithful on theological truth/ There's no sense in philosophizing about moderation b/c that pertains to behavioural science and therapeutic treatment/ Sentimentalism and romanticism are just as sinful as hedonism/ Marriage is vocational sacrament of the Church/ The vital process of confession, repentance and redemption exorcises demonically possessed souls/
@@perrytornado Ok. Whatever you said.
For those looking for further encouragement in singleness:
ua-cam.com/play/PLhdQ1ESE0GdmA55J23DcCdWiuu9-udydf.html
Thankyou
I just don't understand what ever he explained . He did everything but answer the question 😢
And that makes u feel sad or guilty?
@@jakeymanzano1743 it made me feel as if I were lost😂 both sad and guilty 😂
@@anirudh658 then i suggest you better search where is your faith anchored😉
AMEN
22 ... hilarious.
Be careful not to condescend those who are youthful. You would be utterly shocked at the amount of life experience and horrific brokenness that a person can experience in that amount of time.
@@justinbirkelo6806 Oh, I've no doubt that someone at age 22 can have difficult life experiences and horrific brokenness. I merely would hesitate to count "the pain of truly prolonged singleness and celibacy" as one of the trials that a 22 year-old person might face.
@@Arcanon10 You'd be surprised what the Lord allows when a person of any age has such severe trauma, especially undealt with. All I'm saying is, don't discount or look down upon the afflictions of others. As unrealistic or laughable you may think them to be, they are very real for those walking in them. Blessings.
@@justinbirkelo6806 I take your point and agree. My admittedly caustic comments are just a reflection of my own struggles as a 38 year-old who has spent years and years praying for a wife but who has never been married and has remained a virgin as our Lord commands. I'm tired and frustrated, simply stated. And in my weakness, at times I lash out. My apologies, friend. Blessings back at you.
@@Arcanon10 Thank you for your humility and consideration :)
I know I'm gonna get flak for this, but if take Paul at his word in the New Testament, it is clear that he takes a very low view of marriage.
He seems to regard marriage as a band-aid, the only thing stopping you from sleeping around with everyone on the block.
In some ways this is true, sure. But marriage is so much more than that (good and bad). It's ironic that Christians take their marriage advice from Paul - an unmarried guy.
Your not really answering the question. I can be content in a miserable life, and help others...
You know what though...
I'm sick of being single at 42. I understand now it's a pipedream prayer. I want a partner in Christ, not endangering solitude!
I'm sick of my illness, which actually bars me from church. Stupid perfume that causes anaphylaxic till God smells it in heaven.
Keep acting, more and more homeless.
I'll long for marriage till I die, but rare disease, homeless, jobless (hahaha because once employers realize working for them will kill me....) I get fired.
Sorry….
Wow!!!!
I am 22 Hong Kong guy. don't want to get marry as I have married Jesus
Praised God!!
22 yo sheesh
i make it my ambition...
All the singles seething in the comments. I wonder why they’re still single?
You have literally zero idea what and who you are talking about. You cannot know the paths God has sent certain people down. Sit down.
Then again with so many very dumb narcissists and feminists women certainly tells the story as well, compared to the women in the old days which most were real ladies and very old fashioned at that time which made love very easy to find as well. Nowadays most women cause divorce as it is. Been there.
I’m single and I’m not seething it just seems like sometimes married people and the church in general puts those who are barren above singles or those who are families above singles.
Also many in the comment section are intimating that God is transactional when marriage is not a biblical promise
@@carolinemilburn7128You are right. A lot of married people forget that too. Many godly Christians throughout history have died unwed
If you can just transcend the physical and level up to the next chakra then you will no longer be held down by anything in this life. You will have perfect spiritual oneness. Lol
Chakra's arn't in the bible.