I never thought I'd be 27 and feel so lonely as a woman. When I met Christ I had no idea marriage would be a difficult thing, but I will remain faithful to Him no matter what.
Sabrina thank you for your honesty. So many single people believe marriage is the answer to their problems, but the reality is a different story altogether. Iron sharpens iron, but it is a difficult process.
I don’t think misled people. There isn’t a one or two answer to this question. There was truth to what Chan said as well. Its probably that people listening to the podcast are more in line to where this questioner is at in life, and got discouraged. I do believe though that both Chan and Pastor John are right, and we can learn from what they both said.
Be on guard single brothers and sisters against missionary dating and the constant 'what if ' thoughts that you may have. Trust in the Lord's sovereignty and be careful not to make marriage an idol.
@@paladindragoongirl18 So forget about the wedding party which can be an idol, make yourself the kind of a woman a good Christian man would want for a wife, and find a good Christian man who would make a good husband not a fairy tale one and let him know you want him to ask you. Repeat as often as necessary. Marriage is in God's plan, Marriage is NOT idolatry and anyone who is telling you that does not know God. Jesus' first miracle was at a wedding.
I am 24, have been a believer for 6 years, lived in the world for 18 yrs. I was a happy and content dedicated single man for life until 2 months ago, when something like a switch in my mind was flipped and I started to get attractions towards a young woman. It didn't turn out the way I was expecting it to, she ultimately said no to a courtship, although, she gave me a gift that I could never have expected. Just serve the Lord with all your heart, and mind, and soul, and strength, wherever He places you. He has a plan for us all and He certainly knows what He is doing.
God is sovereign and will not withhold no good thing from those who walk uprightlywith Him . 1.Don't look twice at an unspiritual man. 2. Be an integral member of a doctrinal solid loving church 3. Find your joy in knowing Jesus & serving others. 4. In your prayers tell the Lord your hearts desires ***Read the book of ruth and the story of Anna in the book of Luke***
Did any of you women ever actually read the book of Ruth rather than the comic book version? God did not find Boaz for Ruth. Ruth actively pursued Boaz to the point of going to his house and laying herself down at his feet to sleep, with her mother-in-law's blessing and urging. She was a foreign widow of his kinsman, not a virgin. She placed herself in his fields where he couldn't help but trip over her. You didn't read Anna either. She too was a widow meaning she had a husband as well who she submitted to. She wasn't a nun.
@@sitka49 Sitka, a little of both, I am afraid. How a man that has been a pastor for 50 years can know so little about the scriptures and human nature and the world around him and be so consistently wrong on important matters of practice and doctrine is beyond understanding. He must work hard at it. 1) God withholds good things from upright people all the time. Look at the book of Job. Why does Paul say that he had learned to be content in any situation, rich or poor, to be abased or abound, if God is passing out spouses, wealth, and goodies like candy at Mardi Gras? We need to stop snatching odd, out of context bits from 3000 year old Hebrew song lyrics and treating them as eternal promises from God even when they contradict New Testament doctrine and the evidence of our eyes. 2) The book of Ruth is not a primer on how to find a husband. It is a cute romantic tale in the linage of both Jesus and King David. It is a one-off case like Cinderella. Most women do not find rich husbands. They marry men of their own social class. There are not nearly enough princes and rich guys to go around. Teaching Boaz and Ruth as normal is one of the reasons Christian women are not marrying. 3) Ruth as a Moabitess certainly did not have a zero chance of marrying an Israelite husband. She was already the widow of an Israelite husband as was her sister. As the childless widow of an Israelite she had a 100% chance of marrying an Israelite if she wanted to. It was the LAW. The story says so and the Torah says so. Her ex-husband’s nearest relative was required to marry her and provide her ex an heir. 4) Beyond this God had nothing to do with Ruth marrying Boaz. That was all Naomi’s doing. This was no miracle. It was a fullblown seduction campaign the Naomi scripted and generaled. Read the book. Naomi wanted a rich son-in-law and she stopped at nothing including pushing Ruth into Boaz’s sleeping chamber. Naomi was ruthless. 5) The Anna story is another non-sequitur. She was married and did have kids. She choose not to remarry. This is not why she got to see the Messiah. Many faithful Jewish women existed 50 years before that that did not get to see the Messiah. Pretty much everybody in Palestine from 0-33 AD, righteous or not, got to see the Messiah. Her righteousness is why she recognized the Messiah. 6) John Piper’s four little rules are twisted and incomplete. A) Yes, you should not chase unbelievers, but you shouldn’t hold out for perfect “spiritual” men either because there ain’t any. Women are not perfect either. Don’t reach higher than your grasp. Find a Christian man you can respect and submit to him. Maybe he will put up with your flaws if you are lucky and try daily to keep them in check. B) It is good to be part of a doctrinally sound church if you can find one these days, BUT that is NOT where Ruth found Boaz. She went out into the fields and hunted him down with persistence. Today a really spiritual man is probably not in any of the cesspools calling themselves churches. C) Sure you should serve Jesus and others but unless you want to be alone for 50 years like Anna, work hard at becoming the type of woman the type of man you want would want to marry and be ruthless in showing him that is the case even if it means going against your culture. D) Sure pray. But God already knows what you need. If prayer alone was going to do it, you’d already be married. God encourages marriage, but he is not your matchmaker. Find a Naomi to help and mimic the Canadian Mounties and go get your man. 7) The original questioner asked a good question that Piper sidestepped as usual. The answer is quit following the world and follow Jesus. In this case the world is feminism. Women need to be taught that borrowing money to go to college for a degree what will not land a job that can pay for the degree is insane. They need to realize that wasting your childbearing years pursuing a job to pay for the useless degree is even more insane. They need to learn that even if the degree pays off they then took a good paying job away from a man and this bites them twice: they now still want a man that makes more than they do (and there are now very few of those) and by displacing some of those men there are now half as many men in those good paying jobs. And it bites them again because even if they have children, they have no time to enjoy them or do motherhood right. 8) If you want to live happily ever after, don’t be a princess. Real princesses don’t live happily ever after. They die in the backseat of their Islamic gangster boyfriend’s car while being chased by photographers or are bullied by their evil grandmother-in-law and have to leave the country. Instead marry young to a decent and solid Christian man. Submit to his leadership as God tells you to. Screw feminism. Forget about seeking “every good thing.” Live within your means. Have lots of sex with your husband and have some kids. Don’t wait for a prince, marry a real man.
I hope I'm in agreement with Dr. Piper in saying that statement about not looking twice at an unspiritual man goes the same for men. Don't look twice at an unspiritual woman.
And what exactly do you mean by a spiritual women? fuck me.. is there ever a time where god can just meet a man where he is? Man cant relate to God on anything can we? turns out not even when it comes to female attraction. Please, enliten me, What is an unspiritual girl then my firend? a girl who doesn't read the bible every day? or a girl who dosnt desire to have an orgasm or something?... Please create clarity on what is such a fucking cluster fuck hazey subject.
Isaac Banks not sure what your angle is, but humans fall short all the time and that includes women along with the men. Basically anytime you live a life contrary to God is unspiritual. Yes, that can be as simple as not filling up with the Word everyday. It can go as far as being manipulative, projecting shame of cheating onto their partners and making false accusations about you to others to justify their actions. It takes a lot of spiritual maturity to humble yourself to God, and it seems as though in this day and age, there is a mighty struggle to curb that pride, causing delays in finding a suitable partner to marry. Speaking from personal experience, you do not want to be on the receiving end of an unspiritual woman.
@Randall Slaughter I agree with you that it is hazy... I think that EVERYTHING in this world is hazy. But I do know and believe that the only thing thats NOT hazy in this universe, in this chaotic world, is the person of Christ, God, and the Holy Spirit. We, as fallen humans, can't give to anyone a formula or non-hazy answer to things because we are only the creations of a Creator. We can only speak of our Creator and about who He is and what He has done. I would suggest (if the haziness of life bothers you enough) you to go to Him, ask Him to give you some clarity in this world and life of yours. I promise you, He WILL give you some form of clarity. Just ask from your heart. Once you know Him, everything is clear.
Randall Slaughter yeah I understand. Sorry if I came off as offensive, I think I was just hyper focused on the word “hazy”. Didn’t intend to attack anyone.
@@johnbreitmeier3268 Well, I wrote this 3 years ago and am 4 months into my marriage today. I think I wasn't to re-listen to hear his thoughts on it now
Wow listening to this again was pretty interesting. many points I agree and many I disagree. My testimony in short: I waited 7 years for the promise to be fulfilled and my husband waited 5 years. We both maintained our purity before and after we met and got married. What I have learned is that Free will exists. God presents opportunities but it depends on our choices, this includes dating. He will pair two people together; but if it doesn't work because one has fallen away, He is faithful to send another. And if He pairs you two together, then you both WILL know. I hope this helps! Oh also, if you continue to wait on your Boaz to mysteriously show up then chances are you will be waiting forever. This is what I have learned. If you not ready to date then the Lord will make it clear to you and if you are ready to date, then the Lord will make it clear to you. One final thing, although this was not in my situation but in another's close to me.... sometimes God WILL send someone to you that doesn't know Him. If that happens then it is your responsibility to guide him or her to the truth, which is Jesus. You do this by standing on your convictions and following after the Lord. anyway, so much more to say but maybe ill make a video about it all one day. Blessings!
@@BeautifullyRewritten Congratulations! I love a happy ending. Now keep it that way. Study Ephesians 5:22-33 and I Peter 3:1-7 together and live it out as Jesus intended. May you be an inspiration to many others to exercise their free will and not wait on God to do everything. Blessings!
I'm fifty three and have never been married. I made mistakes I am not proud of all in the name of finding "the right man". It is difficult to find a good Christian man who wants to be married. More players are out there than others. I hope God finds someone for me. But I have joy now serving him.
Amy there is no verse that says it is God's job to find you a husband. God DID NOT find Boaz for Ruth. Read the book. She followed her mother-in-law's advice and actively pursued Boaz. She put herself deliberately in his path. She went to his house at night and submissively laid herself down at his feet. She did NPT wait on God. She got busy. You will not find one without looking. God put you in a country with 100 million Christian men. Cut your wish list at least in half and go find one before it is too late. It is already too late for kids. There are good men your age looking. Be the kind of woman they would want - submissive, fit, feminine, and helpful. Be intentional and find one. With practice you will spot the players quicker and avoid them. To catch fish you have to keep your hook in the water. They won't jump in the boat.
@@johnbreitmeier3268 I know what you're saying. However there is a thin line between pursuing and looking desperate. In the bible times were different. Men supported their wives then because it was expected and that's what God wanted. Today the whole atmosphere is different. If you "Pursue" a man today you get judged by being called a gold digger, and if you don't have a top paying job you are called a gold digger because you happen to be on the poorer side. It's not the same today. The men are supposed to pursue and find us. I'm not going to pursue and be judged as being desperate or "out for money".
@@Christian_Girl120 Amy, Things haven't changed all that much. If you think that there were not disappointed women calling Ruth a foreign golddigger, think again. Yeah, the book doesn't say so because it was written a century after the fact by David's court historian who prettied up the ending. Human nature has not changed. But Ruth won because she tried harder and wanted it more. You are afraid to be called "desperate" but at 53 you should be desperate. There are good men out there looking, let them know you are available. They don't have to be rich like Boaz, just single and Christian. Like Ruth you may have to go out of your comfort zone and even move and look outside your town. Depends if you want it badly enough. If you want to be kept by a rich man you are probably too late. If you are willing to work with a good Christian man in the same dilemma to share these with rest of your life, those are out there. Read the comment section. There are some in there. You can be terrified of what jealous women will say or you can reach for what you really want. Be fit, feminine, submissive, and sexy and you can find what you are looking for. You won't find what you don't look for. Be a Ruth.
I have several friends who have remained unmarried. Only one of them believes he was he is called to remain single so he could serve the Lord with undevided devotion. The others were simply unable to find someone they believed was God's choice for them. They have all remained faithful to the Lord, not defiled themselves with immorality, and have a peace in their hearts that the Lord is and will csrry them through life with contentment! I married later in my own life, but it has been a mixed blessing. I have lost some opportunities I had as an unmarried man, but I've gained the joy of a family. Sadly I fell a few times sexually and I deeply regret those times. I know God has forgiven me, but I carry scars (and memories ) that at times make it difficult for my mind not to wander. But I will persevere because the Word commands it, and I want to please God in spite of my weaknesses. If you out there who are still unmarried can remain so, trust God to carry you through.
Amen! My Boaz came out of no where even when I was "looking." Still, marriage is not the answer, and it just another stage of life that God sanctifies us through.
Noel Newton Yes, which is why this is dangerous teaching. It teaches people to put limits on God, AND totally undermines personal responsibility. If you read the full story, Ruth ultimately secured Boaz's attention by giving him an incredibly intimate customary gesture of submission to express her interest (she laid down at his feet while he slept!) How many Christian women are this bold and humble? No, instead Christian women are too busy being either "spiritual" feminists (refuse to be submissive), or "old fashioned" (demanding the man to make the first move).... or both simultaneously.
@Amanda Respectfully, that seems to me like an excuse to justify passive behavior to escape from the maturity it takes to develop assertiveness. Maybe it's a relic left over from an era when women were expected to be silent and passive, but it is not good. Healthy, assertive communication is paramount to any relationship. Every human being needs to develop mature interpersonal skills; to learn assertiveness as opposed to aggression and passivity. I'm certainly not going to raise my daughter to believe she has to be passive and be pursued or that she shouldn't initiate or speak up on her own if somethingis on her heart. Ruth pursued Boaz; Esther spoke up for her people. Neither of them were passive. Were they taking risks? Sure. But risk is different when God has you in his hand.
@@mattk6719 Matt is right the Pied Piper is teaching fractured scripture again and misleading women into inactivity which cannot find a husband. God DID NOT find a Ruth a husband. Brazen flirting and intentional pursuit did, The good news is it did not take a miracle but just things every Christian woman could do.
This is exactly what I needed. I do not desire to get into debt, and I am not going to college, and I do not want to be apart of this world's ways. Im going to get a job and stay out of debt, and work hard in every situation Im in. I am not doing this "regret" thing from so much debt. Especially not as a young woman who desires to marry. This is an important topic, so many people don't realize how important it is to have a home church, and a community to lean on. This is a really convicting message.
Lily is there are ways to pay for college without debt though. Look into it if you desire to study further. I pay for college while I work. I took a career certificate course first then I worked with it full time while I attended community college part time and now I plan to continue.
Thats encouraging to hear a young lady say because I’m a man of God preparing biblically for marriage. We’re raised to go to school and be institutionalized, but we’re not raised to be husbands and wife’s and we spend most of our lives being husbands and wife’s so why not biblically prepare and be raised to be a husband and a wife. Preparing for marriage is important and being Titus 2 men and women is Gods desire for the family. Also as believers we shouldn’t run this worlds course. The enemies plan is to take the women out of the home with the children and send them to work, so he can have the minds of our kids and the next generation. We have to wake up to this reality and fight for contentment in Jesus, so that we can love our wives and protect the next generation of warriors for Jesus Christ.
I go to one of the top 10 public universities for FREE by the Grace of God alone. God has not called some people to go to college but there are other educational options than college degrees. There are certificates you can get so that you specialize in a field you are passionate about. If we trust in God and if it is His will, can he not provide the finances? Anyways, like Paul said, some people are led by God be single so that they can give the Lord more of their time and praise.
maybemei A call to singles is not a switch it is life long. College is not bad in itself but the course we take to get the degree pushes back marriage and makes you focus on your career rather than marriage and maturity. Boys need to be around men so that they can learn how to provide and go and do it and take a women and start a family. Young Ladies need to be sitting under older women that are being faithful to their husband in the home by serving him and raising up children. And men need to love the women like Christ loved the church, so we are servant leaders to our home. You need to be under a solid church that preaches sound doctrine and family and if you summit to that teaching and apply it to your life a strong man will find you and marry you.
Be careful of mistaking out of context lines from 3000 year old Hebrew song lyrics and turning them into eternal promises from God. Paul instead said in Phil 4:11-12 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." If you actually read Psalms 37, you will find David was saying you get the desires when V.11 "the meek shall inherit the earth with an abundance of peace." which clearly has not happened yet, and won't until Jesus returns. In v 34 when David tells you to "wait on the Lord and keep his way, and he shall exalt you to inherit the land , when the wicked are cut off and you shall see it." That has not happened yet either.
Only those married say marriage is not everything or necessary. They have: support, love, a companion, someone if unwell, Christian prayer partner, a helper, a friend, extra wage, someone to cuddle up to...
Sadly true... Advice to single Christians all in all is horrible everywhere I see it. The problem is we are trying to live as God's people while following man's laws and false ideas on marriage. Even the greats like John Piper just get it horribly wrong on marriage advice biblically. We have strayed from God's ways, and we are paying for it as a church body.
@Art Garfunkle the majority of us do, we are not designed to be alone, that much is said in Gen 2. Some will be gifted with a life of celibacy to dedicate themselves to the kingdom, but without that gift, "it is not good for man to be alone" applies. We are wired to marry, unfortunately the Christian church with more than a few false doctrines on marriage has caused a lot of the problems we deal with today as a body when it comes to marriage, or lack of ability to find a husband/wife and live out marriage righteously.
Or maybe they don't have most of that in their marriage. So they are warning you about having high hopes and expectations. Because in that marriage you're going to become difficult and your spouse is going to become difficult.
Thank you so much. Such a beautiful way to encourage us singles. There is a vast difference between marriage today vs before I was even born. There is a profound amount of fear stemming from the realm of darkness, and certainly the attack of the enemy having us focus more on the obstacles of mammoth, than having us desire to take on the challenges of life in a godly way. I renounce and break every thought stemming from darkness about marriage and money, and I ask the Holy Spirit to help us to break agreement with all of the errors and lies we've accepted as truth surrounding marriage, that aid in the hinderance and supposed delays of accessing godly marriage. God's timing is perfect and totally worth the wait. Blessings to all. In Jesus name, Amen!
Aquilla Braxton U r spot on. I'm glad I read comments section. I guess I have been subconsciously afraid of marriage and my capabilities to handle d various responsibilities incl. relationships with d new family and hence have been searching (& letting go of ppl) for 7 yrs. I am now going to write ur prayer down n am gonna keep reciting it till I gain some confidence and feel d fire of the holy spirit in me. Thank you for the beautiful prayer. Pray for me pls. I will b doing the same for you.
I've maybe read this transcript once or twice in my discouragement, but hearing John's voice behind it carried so much more meaning. Thank you John for the encouragement- both in the waiting, and the pursuit of the Lord, and that the Lord will give what is needed in the waiting. Thank you for your wisdom!
I am a follower of Jesus, unmarried, celibate, single haven't been on a date in 5 years, debt free, in my career and currently in the home buying process because I do not want to rent anymore. When the lord decides to show me to whomever he chooses for me I will be ready but until then I am living the abundant life and serving him. Glory to God regardless how any of it turns out. I have also been reading Luke 2 about Anna. Thank you Lord for confirmation.
I've seen quite a number of unmarried people 60 & above, being faithful to God & serving the church. Does every single one of them ever desire for a marriage & family? I'm sure they do, or at least one person. It got me thinking if God had predestined for some like them into that path, being faithful to God since their younger years, remaining virgin until their old age and yet at the same time desiring for marriage & family of their own in the midst of their severe loneliness where that hope for a miracle gets eroded day by day. How can one reconcile that? Probably easy to comfort or encourage someone who's in their 20s, 30s or 40s. To be honest, as a single man keeping myself pure before God the best that I can, I do not want to end up like that.
It's funny, I often think about this as well, and I also know of older unmarried people who have desired marriage but have lived faithfully as single people. Why then has God given them the desire for marriage? I obviously have no answer to this question, and I don't think anyone really does. Is it possible that their life of singleness is actually better than what their lives would have been had they married? Yes, it's possible. Is it possible that being married would have been just as good as being single? Quite possible too. I still struggle with this. (Also, these questions get 1000x more painful during a global pandemic where socialization is limited...) The best approach I have found is to trust that God will meet my needs (spiritual, emotional, relational, physical, etc.) and that through Christ, I have the potential for a full and meaningful life whether I'm married or single. Since singleness is my reality, I will live fully into the joys and opportunities it brings and work through the sorrows and challenges with God and the people who love me. If marriage is ever my reality, the same will apply. I'm rubbish at living this out some days, but these are the promises I keep returning to. It's wonderful to know that there are faithful single men thinking about these questions too. Keep on, brother!
If i am honest. My parents are separated and it has affected my view on marriage. I used to pray to God when i was 18 to lead me to a wife but after seeing the bad side of marriage first hand, now 25, I rarely make those prayers anymore. I'm more focused on living my life for God and growing in my faith. I really do feel for women though because of the points raised, i see it in my own church soo many young godly women looking to get married. Honestly i just see too many problems in marriage that makes me reluctant to get into it.
Naw I understand your view I'm from the same type of background only that my mother was always physically abused in their marriage making me not want to be married. But however if we apply God's wisdom to the marriage and his guidance would make a marriage most envy for.
I admire your position because you’re able to have more time for the Lord and helping the Kingdom because your only earthly responsibilities is taking care of yourself and no one waits on you. While I’m a mom a wife a daughter and daughter of Christ I struggle to serve outside my home and I submit to my husband because that’s my role...yet I let it hinder my submission to Jesus...see? It’s like an extra responsibility. If I knew that beforehand and gotten saved before I met my husband I don’t think I would have gotten married. But my wants mean nothing. God knew what I needed Jesus planned for my life to be taken care of by my husband I’m sort of “helpless” In the worldly sense. I too am here to help my husband grow closer to God and vice versa without my husband I probably would’ve never accepted Christ. So overall everything works for the goodness of Christ.
What a heartfelt letter. Totally spot on. I feel like that topic should have been labeled here why are Christian couples married later rather than Christian singles.
I need to hear this in my mind and heart everyday. It isn't fair that I would desire marriage for sex and not looking for God's heart and will for my life. I pray that He has a Boaz out there for me that will lead me to Christ and not away from Him but sadly I don't see that many Christian men willing to step up to the plate and claim their Ruth. It's just very discouraging for me to see but I know I should be praying not just for my Boaz but to seek to change my character as far as my heart and mind not to look at everything in life so distortingly. I hope that makes sense? Very powerful message! Thank you! And keep up the good work! God bless! 😊
Most will claim "spirituality". You will know them by their fruit (what they say, social media posts, how they treat others, how they spend their time, how they spend their money, what they watch, etc). Most "christians" in America are "christians" outwardly but not inwardly. With their lips they honor God but their hearts are far from Him. They don't seek Him, or love Him, or know Him. Spiritual growth is the Holy Spirit/ Christ in you.. growing. I believe, if you are not walking with Christ you will not know who belongs to Christ and who doesn't and will be susceptible to falling for men that claim "spirituality"
I’m a man and this video has been incredibly comforting. As a young man, I’m constantly being bombarded with the world’s expectations of what a young man should be. I hear other males bragging about how many girls they’ve slept with and who they’ve slept with. I hear music that glorifies males who use women for their bodies. Culture in general applauds males who have many women. I refrain from calling these males, “men” because real men don’t behave in such a way. I at times am tempted to say “Eh why not” but I can never bring myself to dishonor God in that way. God has been faithful to me up until this very moment, and I know he will continue to be through all of eternity. He will show me my wife someday, and if he doesn’t, that’s ok too.
Hey man I completely feel the same way. I'm waiting for marriage as a young man as well but the culture continually makes me feel like I'm not all I could be. Finding fellow Christian men that hold fast to this devine ordinance. Do you have an Instagram? Let me know so we can follow each other and not forsake the gathering of the brethren. God bless bro
I am a young Christian man who is available! Where I am, there are no single ladies who are not moving away, in heretical denominations, or they already have someone in their life.
What Piper fails to mention is that being married to someone, without God, can destroy your spouse spiritually. If your spouse is a carnal or lukewarm Christian, or even more so, an unbeliever; your attempts to win them Christ by being an example and encouraging them to draw closer to God; may lead to them despising you and rejecting God. They may become lost because they were never truly ready for a truly saved spouse and had no idea of the pressure put on them to be truly saved. Therefore, you can make your spouse reject Christ if you are a godly influence. But what may likely also happen is your spouse may draw you into carnality if they are a carnal Christian; or into sin if they are an unbeliever. This will eventually ruin your testimony for Christ, and again, cause your spouse to reject God when they see a so- called Christian sinning. Thus, many Christians in the comments, are only seeking a spouse because of themselves- their loneliness, their emptiness, their pain. And they may be tempted to risk their relationship with God to make themselves happy. But what about your spouse? If God doesn't ordain the marriage, you can cost them their soul and be the deciding factor of why they end up in hell. What a terrible feeling! Now, God allows for marriages to stay together if a couple is already married and one becomes a believer but if one is single then they should remain that way until God provides a spouse. To do otherwise may damn yourself; but even worse, the one you dearly love, your spouse. You do not want this on your conscience. Also, what is ironic is that you may end up single anyway. Your spouse may leave because they may reject the pressure to be saved if you are a godly spouse. Or you may have to leave because of repeatedly being drawn into lukewarmness or sin if you are not a godly spouse. Therefore, single Christians should be content to be single because you can ruin someone else's life and soul. It is not all about you. This is from someone who ignored God, got married, and had a terrible 10 year marriage. My husband is still unsaved and may now never seek God because of my ungodly behavior by being drawn into sin. I also terribly hurt my relationship with God in the process. And end the end I am now single which is what God asked of me in the first place. I deeply regret this and wish I would have been content in Christ alone.
Well, you disobeyed God's instructions and didn't act Christ like before your spouse You admit that. I admire your honesty. It takes guts to admit your mistake. Most people don't have the guts to do that or just flatly refuse to admit to their bad choices. So do give yourself some credit for being honest, and know that God appreciates your honesty with him. Here's the wonderful news. It's never too late to repent of your mistakes. When you repent God forgives you. He doesn't just forget the mistake the moment you repent. He chooses not to bring it up anymore as it's already dealt with and been forgiven. God loves you and Jesus does too. You made a bad choice, but no hurt is too big for God. He won't chastise you forever over that mistake. You may pay a consequence, but ultimately he is doing it out of love. He desires what's best for you because he loves you. Keeping going and don't give up. God has promised to never abandon or forsake you. Pray to the Lord that he help restore you damaged testimony (It can be done. Nothing is impossible with God). As for your husband. keep on praying for him. I'll be praying for him. Keep you head up and Remember Jesus loves you. God bless ✌️
Im single cristian. I understand that we are living in the last days. God has helped me lately renewing my patience. I feel much at ease and and i feel proud of my self for turning vulgar proposal and rejecting inmoral men and i can stand with my head up and i feel in my self i have honor and dignity. I am not worried anymore because i leave it up to god.
Well, the time has come to stop being judgmental and self-righteous because Francis is an incredible preacher, has great theology, and is passionately in love with Christ.
The church needs to pray for the delay in marriages. So many Christians are frustrated and afraid to talk about their challenges in not having a spouse because it is implied that they are focusing in the Lord. Sexual intimacy is a human biological need, just like hunger. Just like we pray for hunger, let's pray for the cause of delayed marriages especially in the church. Look at reality TV, there are more married couples there than there are in church.
I agree we need to pray. There's something off about the marriagelessness of the church. I don't believe the church should be only singles serving the Lord selflessly - we need families, children, and households sharing the life of Christ and being witnesses in that way. But sex is not a need like you've said. Sex is no where near the same importance as eating. No one will die from sexlessness - Jesus sure didn't. That idea is idolatrous. Sex is a biological urge. It may be a strong want, but it's not a need. May the Lord bless His people with sexual purity and strong focus until He blesses with union, and Covenant companionship.
@@emiliog8548 So when god doesn't provide, you just justify it by saying that: "Oh Jesus was hungry too." I should try that one if I forget to bring food for the group. I'd get really popular.
@@2ndPigeon God bless you bro! I think you should consider reading through philippians chapter 4 or through Romans or Romans chapter 5 to get a view of how Christ brings all things to my hope, then let me know what you think. Christ is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied with him (especially in the midst of pain!). If you really are interested in john piper then check out this sermon! I really hope you do! ua-cam.com/video/--JiiuJNvt4/v-deo.html
If you're a godly woman reading this, I as a man, see my fellow Christian brothers around me who are just ungodly. They don't take their faith seriously. But rest assured, I am doing my best to get them to transform into godly men. I teach them to get their faith, career, discipline and attitude in order. And for goodness sake, even tell them to visit the gym, because no girl wants a skimpy Christian godly man who's career is in chaos. Hoping to see more lives transformed.
I have two friends in church who are men in their 40’s and are not married & are *not* having sexual relations with anyone because they *Fear the Lord* & are in a *relationship* with Him AND the church they members of does *not* tolerate sin of this nature & there are consequences. I too also am a single person & am not in a relationship with anyone because I *Fear the Lord* & am in a *relationship* with Him. Also most of our parents were virgins when they got married & it is taught that one must remain pure if they are single as sex is only for the married. Dating is also *not* encouraged or even allowed in our churches in most cases. Courting *after* engagement is allowed under with the emphasis that an engagement does not give license for sex. Most engaged couples share their first kiss after the vows are performed at the wedding ceremony. It is about the Fear of the Lord & being in relationship with Him, why we endeavour to avoid at all costs sexual sin. Sometimes God wants singles to Himself for awhile before He release His child for marriage. Being single in God’s economy is good and acceptable and perfect & I embrace it until the time appointed unto me for marriage. Until then I pursue intimacy with Him.🇨🇦
Ruth was a widow who Naomi wanted remarried to a relative in order to honor God's laws regarding kinsmen redeeming their deceased brother by marrying their widow and giving him an heir through her. After she bore him an heir, any other children would be his own. Ruth did as Naomi told her in going and being in the presence of Boaz as he was kin to her deceased husband. While there was a closer relative than him, Boaz made sure to wait and make sure he could not or would not redeem his property + Ruth before he took her, even though she had already made it clear she wanted to be with Boaz, following Naomi's commands/advice. Mind you, we don't know if Boaz already had a wife, because it's not said, but it's unlikely he didn't given his age and status / wealth. But we don't know, however if he did, the lesson here is it would not have mattered one bit. Something to consider as Christians along with many other examples in scripture that show women joining the family of men who already have a wife or wives, and how it is not a matter of reproach to do so. The story Piper is really leaving out here is that a younger widow (1 Tim 5:14) submitted to the advice/command of an older woman (Titus 2:4) and sought out an older and proven man to take her in and redeem her and give her deceased husband an heir, even though Boaz wasn't the closet kin, and the closest kin who seems to have been a younger man turned it down, so Boaz + Ruth gave the deceased husband an heir (Deut 25:5) ... That heir ultimately was the father of Jesse and the father of David. "Then Boaz said, “May the LORD bless you, my daughter. You have shown more kindness now than before, because you have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor." ... Ruth did not seek out younger men who were probably more attractive, or more wealthy (even though it seems Boaz was pretty well off) ... Such a crucial lesson here, how many Christian women pass on Christian men for superficial reasons? There's a LOT to unpack in that story and it's awesome. But Piper explains it in a way that is void of all of the realities of the situation, and basically just tells Christian women to "wait and pray" like Ruth. But that's not what Ruth did, she took action based on commands from an older woman she respected, that older woman knew God's laws and ways, and advised Ruth based on that. Boaz knew God's laws and commands and made decisions based on that to honor them. He didn't just take the younger woman and lay with her when he could have in a dishonorable way. Mind you, God is sovereign over all of that, and I'm not suggesting we don't pray and seek His guidance, I'm saying that part of His guidance is His law and his word, and much of that tells us what to do in life, Christendom is just ignoring a majority of it to teach falsely on marriage and we are paying for it.
If Christendom were following God's ways on marriage rather than Rome's or the worlds, this would likely never happen. But Christian women would also have to be open to understanding God's ways and the options He gave them, one of those options being a woman joining a family of a man who is already covering 1 woman. There simply is *never* enough men to cover all the women if you force it to be 1:1, it's just not possible. So many many women are consistently left out of marriage as a result. Women that yearn for marriage, not women gifted with a life of celibacy and total devotion to God and his work. Women who are told to marry rather than burn, widows who are told to remarry, bear children and keep home, but are now competing with single virgin younger Christians in an already depleted pool of good single Christian men. The math will never work out if you enforce the monogamy-only false doctrine. But Christian women and men are not raised to understand that 1 man covering more than 1 wife is a possibility as a Christian, so we don't consider it or understand it, or worse, believe it's a sin and judge the practice, including the men in scripture who practiced it without a single word of rebuke from God on the matter.
@@Mboy245 nothing can be prohibited in the NT that wasn’t in the Law/Torah. If it was lawful (not sin) in Torah, it’s not sin now. To claim otherwise shows a fundamental lack of understanding of the law, Jesus, Paul and the other writers. Polygyny was never forbidden, not by any means, if you think it has you have misinterpreted the text, and need to study further.
❤️🔥 Francis Chan & ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 Ur ? & insight, Katelynn. I see what Ur saying & Rejoice that there’s purity still held close 2 my sisters 💕! praise God. Unfortunately, I’m exactly who he’s referring 2 & sadly many I know this has proven common. The body is coming back tho!!!! We’ll b a perfect bride bc Jesus is coming. I’m making that celibacy attempt (I’m 46 😂) now. Ty Francis 4 the conviction & Katelynn 4 the hope & JESUS 4 The Spirit & ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 we have 4 You!!!! God bless 😘
This content just popped out in my UA-cam algorithm hahaha… it just like the random things ever.. i also thought that maybe I don’t want to get married in the future just because i have some traumatic about marriage (broken families)… like I don’t deserve it.. i want to serve you Lord alone without thinking about having a man just focus on His Words, but in the other hand, the Lord really deny it and He just told me exactly last year.. i am going to be married in my 25… (I’m 23 anyway) yeah it gives me bunch of hopes and some weird feelings ever..(I’m not that romantic 😂) whenever i deny it… the Lord really angry at me.. so He gives me Insight about me having twins 😂. So wait guys… the Lord really wants the Best for us. So keep in Faith. Trust Him and also ask Him..
Many older comments here; I'm late to the party. But here goes. What size is your god? Have you turned over EVERYTHING to Him? Or don't you trust Him to bring you the spouse of your dreams: within 5 years of your age, corporate job w/IRA, certain height, certain weight, blonde/blue, lives within a 30 minute drive, etc. See what I'm getting at? He has maybe sent 10 qualified people and you rejected them all because YOU are the god of your relationships.
@@PapaSeed I mean people are way too fussy on physical characteristics. Read my original comment. Does she really need to be blonde hair, blue eyes, tall, etc. Look at her heart. Does she pursue God? Are you attracted to her? Then go for it and date her. See if you click. No one is perfect; we are perfected over time. You may find that her wonderful belly laugh makes you forget about her misaligned ears. Or crooked smile (like mine). Or whatever.
Yes, lots of comments here about churches with 30 single godly women and only 4 single godly men. As a man, I can tell you that this is not a situation that new-coming/visiting men are interested in. I've been there, a newcomer and the only single man in small groups and in Bible studies. There's an expectation that you should date "Amelia" or date "Sabrina." Everyone tries setting you up and then they rebuke you when you refuse, when you aren't interested. The hearts of the single women in question become hardened, and it also happens for the men because of the drama. You're put in a position where you feel like you're "wasting space" in the small group because another single man could be there, another single man who would actually be interested in pursuing that single woman. It's very toxic, and I've been there in multiple churches as I've tried to find a church home. Sure, we're all human and we have flaws and we are constantly working towards lives of holiness, but it's just another way to push those men away from the church.
Wow! I never saw it that way. I was starting to think that single Christian men must not be going to church. Most people would agree with me when I say that the church is overrun with single women. So when Christian guys keep saying they can’t find godly women, it makes me wonder where exactly are they looking? I guess going to church overrun with single women could create a pressure for guys to pick someone. I’m very picky myself and I really dislike it when my friends try to set me up when I don’t ask them to. Then they get offended when I don’t show interest when they did not even bother to ask what I’m looking for. I’m just going to start telling people I am not interested in dating. God knows what will work for me and I will pursue the Lord in prayer about this.
I've been there. I don't want to date too quickly. I want to know everyone first and just be a brother. What bothered me most was the disappointment and upset when I'm not interested in some of the sisters that are interested in me. A sister approached me later and said I hurt her for not matching with her. That was real heavy to lay on me.
@@BethJehovah she sounds a bit insecure to say that you hurt her just because you didn't match with her. Sounds like she needs prayers and may not be mature enough to date yet.
Piper is wrong again. You would think that occasionally he would get a scripture passage right by dumb luck. He does not know the real story of Ruth. He must have just read the comic book version. The whole story is much better Ruth's marriage to Boaz was NOT a miracle and God did not find Ruth a wife. Naomi, her mother-in-law did. It wasn't impossible for the Moabitess Ruth the widow of an Israelite to find a new husband in her old husband's home town, it was a certainty, required by Jewish law that she did. As the widow of a Jew without an heir it was the duty of the nearest kinsman to marry her and produce an heir. The only trick was finding the one she wanted. That took Naomi's feminine wiles and some hard work and a submissive spirit by Ruth. The women decided Boaz was the best candidate and waged an active campaign to convince him it was his idea. T hey worked hard to plant Ruth in the right places on Boaz's land so he couldn't help tripping over her looking all cute, hardworking and submissive - the perfect wife. The coup-de-grace was a bold idea by Naomi for Ruth to dress up pretty and perfumed and sneak over to where he was to sleep and curl up at his feet as an act of submission and sexual availability. Even a nerd couldn't miss that signal. And it worked. Boaz was hooked and bought out the nearer kinsmen and married her. Hard work, flirting, and submission worked out and Ruth, a foreigner, became the ancestor of not only King David but eventually Jesus himself. The moral of the story is, it pays to quit waiting on the Lord, get off your couch, and do something about what you want.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing. That is the caveat "wife", sadly we have generations of rebellious tarnished women that preach the witcraft gospel of jezebel and then wonder why men are not marrying them. It is better to be alone than be with a contentious feminist wife. Now the false preachers are worried about the church economy instead of the Word. "Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men". Matthew 5:13
Why does this pastors encouragement make me feel worse? Is it because the real short answer is you won’t get married and there is nothing we can do to help you? Just be honest and say it , you will suffer.
"Christians are following the ways of the world-How do I adapt better to a fallen world and its hatred of the institution of the family?" That's what the title of this video looks like to me.
I wish more pastors would be real with us and talk about the fact that many of us won’t be married. Singleness is a gift-this is in scripture. No where in the Bible does it say that every single person will marry. Especially as we age, I’m almost 36 years old and I’ve long since gotten over the delusion of “God is sending me a husband,” I’m thankful and content in my singleness. Many of you will be disappointed cause you’ll be waiting forever. I hear 50+ year old women waiting for “Boaz,” I find it hysterically funny.
Paul said in Corinthians that if you can not contain your Desires for the other sex...to me that means ( If you crave men, if you have the desire for sex ) then go ahead lest you are led to sin ✨ I'm glad you are content but on the other hand there are women who God gave the natural desire for the other sex, and If scripture says they should get married then they should continue waiting. Paul was given the gift where he didn't desire sex or the opposite sex and if you were given that gift Praise the Lord but yes some woman at 50 can be battling her natural desire for a husband everyday and you ask her to just throw her fait away ? Idk
Chan may be right in his analysis to a degree, but I would be careful listening to him because he’s getting deep into the NAR which is straight heresy.
22yo Male. My main problem is I feel I would not be good enough for you girls. I'm supposed to be the provider for you and a couple of kids, and I'm not making enough.
Come on! How can you defend someone like that and just be dismissive to that woman's comment? Tis is so disappointing. The biggest reality is that married pastors are preaching to large congregations with many single women. The truth of the matter is there are mostly women in the church with very little men in the church thst are single and of marriagable age. There are mostly no singles programs and engouragement. I would say it's mostly not becasr of student loans.
And on the marriage question, no man on the planet wants anything to do with a woman who has a mountain of debt! If their degree has not resulted in a job that is able to pay off said debt then they’re a complete fool! The borrower is the slave to the lender and who in their right mind wants to be with a SLAVE!?
It's sad that Christian men go for younger and pretty just like the world. A guy who's in his mid 50s keeps asking girls younger and "keeps getting rejected" and by passes many godly women in their 40s and 30s bc he's "not attracted to them." It's disgusting to know. Others are alike. Sad.
I never thought I'd be 27 and feel so lonely as a woman. When I met Christ I had no idea marriage would be a difficult thing, but I will remain faithful to Him no matter what.
Sabrina thank you for your honesty. So many single people believe marriage is the answer to their problems, but the reality is a different story altogether. Iron sharpens iron, but it is a difficult process.
Where did you meet Christ? I thought I died.
@@2ndPigeon Christ is always with you. It's only a matter of time before you actually notice
@@4dwyn But he died.
@@2ndPigeon But he was resurrected
This video is such a blessing! I’m 29 and I struggle with sadness over still being single, but I’m happy to know I’m not alone
Loved how Pastor John started by affirming Frances Chan. Class act!
Why? What Chan said misled people.
I don’t think misled people. There isn’t a one or two answer to this question. There was truth to what Chan said as well.
Its probably that people listening to the podcast are more in line to where this questioner is at in life, and got discouraged. I do believe though that both Chan and Pastor John are right, and we can learn from what they both said.
Be on guard single brothers and sisters against missionary dating and the constant 'what if ' thoughts that you may have. Trust in the Lord's sovereignty and be careful not to make marriage an idol.
Can I ask, what do you mean by missionary dating?
@@btr12lover .. dating an unbeliever and hoping they become a Christian
I'm 28, and sometimes, I can't help but feel like I'm turning marriage into an idol. Having a wedding has become an idol for me.
@@paladindragoongirl18 So forget about the wedding party which can be an idol, make yourself the kind of a woman a good Christian man would want for a wife, and find a good Christian man who would make a good husband not a fairy tale one and let him know you want him to ask you. Repeat as often as necessary. Marriage is in God's plan, Marriage is NOT idolatry and anyone who is telling you that does not know God. Jesus' first miracle was at a wedding.
@@benedictjudegovender2458 no such thing. If you marry an unbeliever as a believer you are nuts
I’m happily single and enjoy my freedom, simplicity without the concerns of marriage, and not having to please a wife. It is a blessing!!
I am 24, have been a believer for 6 years, lived in the world for 18 yrs. I was a happy and content dedicated single man for life until 2 months ago, when something like a switch in my mind was flipped and I started to get attractions towards a young woman. It didn't turn out the way I was expecting it to, she ultimately said no to a courtship, although, she gave me a gift that I could never have expected.
Just serve the Lord with all your heart, and mind, and soul, and strength, wherever He places you. He has a plan for us all and He certainly knows what He is doing.
@@jesusislord229 What gift did she give you??
30 years old and still praying God will show me the woman He wants for me, as I prepare in faith. I’m a man and greatly desire marriage
God is sovereign and will not withhold no good thing from those who walk uprightlywith Him .
1.Don't look twice at an unspiritual man.
2. Be an integral member of a doctrinal solid loving church
3. Find your joy in knowing Jesus & serving others.
4. In your prayers tell the Lord your hearts desires
***Read the book of ruth and the story of Anna in the book of Luke***
So why then does you deity withhold food from so many starving children on a daily basis?
Did any of you women ever actually read the book of Ruth rather than the comic book version? God did not find Boaz for Ruth. Ruth actively pursued Boaz to the point of going to his house and laying herself down at his feet to sleep, with her mother-in-law's blessing and urging. She was a foreign widow of his kinsman, not a virgin. She placed herself in his fields where he couldn't help but trip over her. You didn't read Anna either. She too was a widow meaning she had a husband as well who she submitted to. She wasn't a nun.
Thanks Sister!!
@@johnbreitmeier3268 more miss truths from pastor john? or bad analogy?
@@sitka49 Sitka, a little of both, I am afraid. How a man that has been a pastor for 50 years can know so little about the scriptures and human nature and the world around him and be so consistently wrong on important matters of practice and doctrine is beyond understanding. He must work hard at it.
1) God withholds good things from upright people all the time. Look at the book of Job. Why does Paul say that he had learned to be content in any situation, rich or poor, to be abased or abound, if God is passing out spouses, wealth, and goodies like candy at Mardi Gras? We need to stop snatching odd, out of context bits from 3000 year old Hebrew song lyrics and treating them as eternal promises from God even when they contradict New Testament doctrine and the evidence of our eyes.
2) The book of Ruth is not a primer on how to find a husband. It is a cute romantic tale in the linage of both Jesus and King David. It is a one-off case like Cinderella. Most women do not find rich husbands. They marry men of their own social class. There are not nearly enough princes and rich guys to go around. Teaching Boaz and Ruth as normal is one of the reasons Christian women are not marrying.
3) Ruth as a Moabitess certainly did not have a zero chance of marrying an Israelite husband. She was already the widow of an Israelite husband as was her sister. As the childless widow of an Israelite she had a 100% chance of marrying an Israelite if she wanted to. It was the LAW. The story says so and the Torah says so. Her ex-husband’s nearest relative was required to marry her and provide her ex an heir.
4) Beyond this God had nothing to do with Ruth marrying Boaz. That was all Naomi’s doing. This was no miracle. It was a fullblown seduction campaign the Naomi scripted and generaled. Read the book. Naomi wanted a rich son-in-law and she stopped at nothing including pushing Ruth into Boaz’s sleeping chamber. Naomi was ruthless.
5) The Anna story is another non-sequitur. She was married and did have kids. She choose not to remarry. This is not why she got to see the Messiah. Many faithful Jewish women existed 50 years before that that did not get to see the Messiah. Pretty much everybody in Palestine from 0-33 AD, righteous or not, got to see the Messiah. Her righteousness is why she recognized the Messiah.
6) John Piper’s four little rules are twisted and incomplete.
A) Yes, you should not chase unbelievers, but you shouldn’t hold out for perfect “spiritual” men either because there ain’t any. Women are not perfect either. Don’t reach higher than your grasp. Find a Christian man you can respect and submit to him. Maybe he will put up with your flaws if you are lucky and try daily to keep them in check.
B) It is good to be part of a doctrinally sound church if you can find one these days, BUT that is NOT where Ruth found Boaz. She went out into the fields and hunted him down with persistence. Today a really spiritual man is probably not in any of the cesspools calling themselves churches.
C) Sure you should serve Jesus and others but unless you want to be alone for 50 years like Anna, work hard at becoming the type of woman the type of man you want would want to marry and be ruthless in showing him that is the case even if it means going against your culture.
D) Sure pray. But God already knows what you need. If prayer alone was going to do it, you’d already be married. God encourages marriage, but he is not your matchmaker. Find a Naomi to help and mimic the Canadian Mounties and go get your man.
7) The original questioner asked a good question that Piper sidestepped as usual. The answer is quit following the world and follow Jesus. In this case the world is feminism. Women need to be taught that borrowing money to go to college for a degree what will not land a job that can pay for the degree is insane. They need to realize that wasting your childbearing years pursuing a job to pay for the useless degree is even more insane. They need to learn that even if the degree pays off they then took a good paying job away from a man and this bites them twice: they now still want a man that makes more than they do (and there are now very few of those) and by displacing some of those men there are now half as many men in those good paying jobs. And it bites them again because even if they have children, they have no time to enjoy them or do motherhood right.
8) If you want to live happily ever after, don’t be a princess. Real princesses don’t live happily ever after. They die in the backseat of their Islamic gangster boyfriend’s car while being chased by photographers or are bullied by their evil grandmother-in-law and have to leave the country. Instead marry young to a decent and solid Christian man. Submit to his leadership as God tells you to. Screw feminism. Forget about seeking “every good thing.” Live within your means. Have lots of sex with your husband and have some kids. Don’t wait for a prince, marry a real man.
I hope I'm in agreement with Dr. Piper in saying that statement about not looking twice at an unspiritual man goes the same for men. Don't look twice at an unspiritual woman.
And what exactly do you mean by a spiritual women? fuck me.. is there ever a time where god can just meet a man where he is?
Man cant relate to God on anything can we? turns out not even when it comes to female attraction.
Please, enliten me, What is an unspiritual girl then my firend? a girl who doesn't read the bible every day? or a girl who dosnt desire to have an orgasm or something?...
Please create clarity on what is such a fucking cluster fuck hazey subject.
Isaac Banks not sure what your angle is, but humans fall short all the time and that includes women along with the men. Basically anytime you live a life contrary to God is unspiritual. Yes, that can be as simple as not filling up with the Word everyday. It can go as far as being manipulative, projecting shame of cheating onto their partners and making false accusations about you to others to justify their actions. It takes a lot of spiritual maturity to humble yourself to God, and it seems as though in this day and age, there is a mighty struggle to curb that pride, causing delays in finding a suitable partner to marry. Speaking from personal experience, you do not want to be on the receiving end of an unspiritual woman.
The ‘churched‘ excel in using language they assume everyone else speaks.
@Randall Slaughter I agree with you that it is hazy... I think that EVERYTHING in this world is hazy. But I do know and believe that the only thing thats NOT hazy in this universe, in this chaotic world, is the person of Christ, God, and the Holy Spirit.
We, as fallen humans, can't give to anyone a formula or non-hazy answer to things because we are only the creations of a Creator. We can only speak of our Creator and about who He is and what He has done.
I would suggest (if the haziness of life bothers you enough) you to go to Him, ask Him to give you some clarity in this world and life of yours. I promise you, He WILL give you some form of clarity. Just ask from your heart.
Once you know Him, everything is clear.
Randall Slaughter yeah I understand. Sorry if I came off as offensive, I think I was just hyper focused on the word “hazy”. Didn’t intend to attack anyone.
WOW whoever wrote the letter to Pastor John was SPOT ON!! Can't wait to hear what his thoughts are!
Yes the letter was spot on but Pastor John's answer was insane and wrong.
@@johnbreitmeier3268 Well, I wrote this 3 years ago and am 4 months into my marriage today. I think I wasn't to re-listen to hear his thoughts on it now
Wow listening to this again was pretty interesting. many points I agree and many I disagree. My testimony in short: I waited 7 years for the promise to be fulfilled and my husband waited 5 years. We both maintained our purity before and after we met and got married. What I have learned is that Free will exists. God presents opportunities but it depends on our choices, this includes dating. He will pair two people together; but if it doesn't work because one has fallen away, He is faithful to send another. And if He pairs you two together, then you both WILL know. I hope this helps! Oh also, if you continue to wait on your Boaz to mysteriously show up then chances are you will be waiting forever. This is what I have learned. If you not ready to date then the Lord will make it clear to you and if you are ready to date, then the Lord will make it clear to you. One final thing, although this was not in my situation but in another's close to me.... sometimes God WILL send someone to you that doesn't know Him. If that happens then it is your responsibility to guide him or her to the truth, which is Jesus. You do this by standing on your convictions and following after the Lord. anyway, so much more to say but maybe ill make a video about it all one day. Blessings!
@@BeautifullyRewritten Congratulations! I love a happy ending. Now keep it that way. Study Ephesians 5:22-33 and I Peter 3:1-7 together and live it out as Jesus intended. May you be an inspiration to many others to exercise their free will and not wait on God to do everything. Blessings!
I'm fifty three and have never been married. I made mistakes I am not proud of all in the name of finding "the right man". It is difficult to find a good Christian man who wants to be married. More players are out there than others. I hope God finds someone for me. But I have joy now serving him.
Amy there is no verse that says it is God's job to find you a husband. God DID NOT find Boaz for Ruth. Read the book. She followed her mother-in-law's advice and actively pursued Boaz. She put herself deliberately in his path. She went to his house at night and submissively laid herself down at his feet. She did NPT wait on God. She got busy. You will not find one without looking. God put you in a country with 100 million Christian men. Cut your wish list at least in half and go find one before it is too late. It is already too late for kids. There are good men your age looking. Be the kind of woman they would want - submissive, fit, feminine, and helpful. Be intentional and find one. With practice you will spot the players quicker and avoid them. To catch fish you have to keep your hook in the water. They won't jump in the boat.
@@johnbreitmeier3268 I know what you're saying. However there is a thin line between pursuing and looking desperate. In the bible times were different. Men supported their wives then because it was expected and that's what God wanted. Today the whole atmosphere is different. If you "Pursue" a man today you get judged by being called a gold digger, and if you don't have a top paying job you are called a gold digger because you happen to be on the poorer side. It's not the same today. The men are supposed to pursue and find us. I'm not going to pursue and be judged as being desperate or "out for money".
@@Christian_Girl120 Amy, Things haven't changed all that much. If you think that there were not disappointed women calling Ruth a foreign golddigger, think again. Yeah, the book doesn't say so because it was written a century after the fact by David's court historian who prettied up the ending. Human nature has not changed. But Ruth won because she tried harder and wanted it more. You are afraid to be called "desperate" but at 53 you should be desperate. There are good men out there looking, let them know you are available. They don't have to be rich like Boaz, just single and Christian. Like Ruth you may have to go out of your comfort zone and even move and look outside your town. Depends if you want it badly enough. If you want to be kept by a rich man you are probably too late. If you are willing to work with a good Christian man in the same dilemma to share these with rest of your life, those are out there. Read the comment section. There are some in there. You can be terrified of what jealous women will say or you can reach for what you really want. Be fit, feminine, submissive, and sexy and you can find what you are looking for. You won't find what you don't look for. Be a Ruth.
I have several friends who have remained unmarried. Only one of them believes he was he is called to remain single so he could serve the Lord with undevided devotion. The others were simply unable to find someone they believed was God's choice for them. They have all remained faithful to the Lord, not defiled themselves with immorality, and have a peace in their hearts that the Lord is and will csrry them through life with contentment! I married later in my own life, but it has been a mixed blessing. I have lost some opportunities I had as an unmarried man, but I've gained the joy of a family. Sadly I fell a few times sexually and I deeply regret those times. I know God has forgiven me, but I carry scars (and memories ) that at times make it difficult for my mind not to wander. But I will persevere because the Word commands it, and I want to please God in spite of my weaknesses. If you out there who are still unmarried can remain so, trust God to carry you through.
Amen! My Boaz came out of no where even when I was "looking." Still, marriage is not the answer, and it just another stage of life that God sanctifies us through.
Noel Newton
Yes, which is why this is dangerous teaching. It teaches people to put limits on God, AND totally undermines personal responsibility. If you read the full story, Ruth ultimately secured Boaz's attention by giving him an incredibly intimate customary gesture of submission to express her interest (she laid down at his feet while he slept!) How many Christian women are this bold and humble? No, instead Christian women are too busy being either "spiritual" feminists (refuse to be submissive), or "old fashioned" (demanding the man to make the first move).... or both simultaneously.
@Amanda
Respectfully, that seems to me like an excuse to justify passive behavior to escape from the maturity it takes to develop assertiveness. Maybe it's a relic left over from an era when women were expected to be silent and passive, but it is not good. Healthy, assertive communication is paramount to any relationship. Every human being needs to develop mature interpersonal skills; to learn assertiveness as opposed to aggression and passivity. I'm certainly not going to raise my daughter to believe she has to be passive and be pursued or that she shouldn't initiate or speak up on her own if somethingis on her heart. Ruth pursued Boaz; Esther spoke up for her people. Neither of them were passive. Were they taking risks? Sure. But risk is different when God has you in his hand.
AMEN
@@mattk6719 Matt is right the Pied Piper is teaching fractured scripture again and misleading women into inactivity which cannot find a husband. God DID NOT find a Ruth a husband. Brazen flirting and intentional pursuit did, The good news is it did not take a miracle but just things every Christian woman could do.
Noel please read what I responded to Matt
This is exactly what I needed. I do not desire to get into debt, and I am not going to college, and I do not want to be apart of this world's ways. Im going to get a job and stay out of debt, and work hard in every situation Im in. I am not doing this "regret" thing from so much debt. Especially not as a young woman who desires to marry. This is an important topic, so many people don't realize how important it is to have a home church, and a community to lean on. This is a really convicting message.
Lily is there are ways to pay for college without debt though. Look into it if you desire to study further. I pay for college while I work. I took a career certificate course first then I worked with it full time while I attended community college part time and now I plan to continue.
Thats encouraging to hear a young lady say because I’m a man of God preparing biblically for marriage. We’re raised to go to school and be institutionalized, but we’re not raised to be husbands and wife’s and we spend most of our lives being husbands and wife’s so why not biblically prepare and be raised to be a husband and a wife. Preparing for marriage is important and being Titus 2 men and women is Gods desire for the family.
Also as believers we shouldn’t run this worlds course. The enemies plan is to take the women out of the home with the children and send them to work, so he can have the minds of our kids and the next generation. We have to wake up to this reality and fight for contentment in Jesus, so that we can love our wives and protect the next generation of warriors for Jesus Christ.
I go to one of the top 10 public universities for FREE by the Grace of God alone. God has not called some people to go to college but there are other educational options than college degrees. There are certificates you can get so that you specialize in a field you are passionate about. If we trust in God and if it is His will, can he not provide the finances? Anyways, like Paul said, some people are led by God be single so that they can give the Lord more of their time and praise.
maybemei A call to singles is not a switch it is life long. College is not bad in itself but the course we take to get the degree pushes back marriage and makes you focus on your career rather than marriage and maturity. Boys need to be around men so that they can learn how to provide and go and do it and take a women and start a family. Young Ladies need to be sitting under older women that are being faithful to their husband in the home by serving him and raising up children. And men need to love the women like Christ loved the church, so we are servant leaders to our home. You need to be under a solid church that preaches sound doctrine and family and if you summit to that teaching and apply it to your life a strong man will find you and marry you.
@@carloshunt8283 Very well said. Thank you!
" Delight in THE LORD and HE Will Give you the Desires of your Heart " .. TRUTH!!!!
Be careful with that verse....
Be careful of mistaking out of context lines from 3000 year old Hebrew song lyrics and turning them into eternal promises from God. Paul instead said in Phil 4:11-12 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." If you actually read Psalms 37, you will find David was saying you get the desires when V.11 "the meek shall inherit the earth with an abundance of peace." which clearly has not happened yet, and won't until Jesus returns. In v 34 when David tells you to "wait on the Lord and keep his way, and he shall exalt you to inherit the land , when the wicked are cut off and you shall see it." That has not happened yet either.
Only those married say marriage is not everything or necessary. They have: support, love, a companion, someone if unwell, Christian prayer partner, a helper, a friend, extra wage, someone to cuddle up to...
@Pacifica74 sorry for those on chemo. Yes makes illness easier if an extra wage and loving arms to protect and cuddle
Sadly true... Advice to single Christians all in all is horrible everywhere I see it. The problem is we are trying to live as God's people while following man's laws and false ideas on marriage. Even the greats like John Piper just get it horribly wrong on marriage advice biblically. We have strayed from God's ways, and we are paying for it as a church body.
@Art Garfunkle the majority of us do, we are not designed to be alone, that much is said in Gen 2. Some will be gifted with a life of celibacy to dedicate themselves to the kingdom, but without that gift, "it is not good for man to be alone" applies. We are wired to marry, unfortunately the Christian church with more than a few false doctrines on marriage has caused a lot of the problems we deal with today as a body when it comes to marriage, or lack of ability to find a husband/wife and live out marriage righteously.
@@mrmonay Agreed, 1 Timothy 4:1-5 is good on this topic.
Or maybe they don't have most of that in their marriage. So they are warning you about having high hopes and expectations. Because in that marriage you're going to become difficult and your spouse is going to become difficult.
I am a single Christian guy who desires to get married and be mature.
"while the church with all the hip singles and weak doctrine has thousands"..... lol shots fired. sad but so true.
Thank you so much. Such a beautiful way to encourage us singles. There is a vast difference between marriage today vs before I was even born. There is a profound amount of fear stemming from the realm of darkness, and certainly the attack of the enemy having us focus more on the obstacles of mammoth, than having us desire to take on the challenges of life in a godly way. I renounce and break every thought stemming from darkness about marriage and money, and I ask the Holy Spirit to help us to break agreement with all of the errors and lies we've accepted as truth surrounding marriage, that aid in the hinderance and supposed delays of accessing godly marriage. God's timing is perfect and totally worth the wait. Blessings to all. In Jesus name, Amen!
Aquilla Braxton U r spot on. I'm glad I read comments section. I guess I have been subconsciously afraid of marriage and my capabilities to handle d various responsibilities incl. relationships with d new family and hence have been searching (& letting go of ppl) for 7 yrs. I am now going to write ur prayer down n am gonna keep reciting it till I gain some confidence and feel d fire of the holy spirit in me. Thank you for the beautiful prayer. Pray for me pls. I will b doing the same for you.
... that was good and imparted the peace of God in my heart...
p31ChicaLove
That's funny, it angered me because I was hearing lots of smooth errors come from a pastor. To each their own.
I'm so glad she asked. I totally agree with her about F Chan's answer
I've maybe read this transcript once or twice in my discouragement, but hearing John's voice behind it carried so much more meaning. Thank you John for the encouragement- both in the waiting, and the pursuit of the Lord, and that the Lord will give what is needed in the waiting. Thank you for your wisdom!
I am a follower of Jesus, unmarried, celibate, single haven't been on a date in 5 years, debt free, in my career and currently in the home buying process because I do not want to rent anymore. When the lord decides to show me to whomever he chooses for me I will be ready but until then I am living the abundant life and serving him. Glory to God regardless how any of it turns out. I have also been reading Luke 2 about Anna. Thank you Lord for confirmation.
I've seen quite a number of unmarried people 60 & above, being faithful to God & serving the church. Does every single one of them ever desire for a marriage & family? I'm sure they do, or at least one person. It got me thinking if God had predestined for some like them into that path, being faithful to God since their younger years, remaining virgin until their old age and yet at the same time desiring for marriage & family of their own in the midst of their severe loneliness where that hope for a miracle gets eroded day by day. How can one reconcile that? Probably easy to comfort or encourage someone who's in their 20s, 30s or 40s. To be honest, as a single man keeping myself pure before God the best that I can, I do not want to end up like that.
It's funny, I often think about this as well, and I also know of older unmarried people who have desired marriage but have lived faithfully as single people. Why then has God given them the desire for marriage? I obviously have no answer to this question, and I don't think anyone really does. Is it possible that their life of singleness is actually better than what their lives would have been had they married? Yes, it's possible. Is it possible that being married would have been just as good as being single? Quite possible too.
I still struggle with this. (Also, these questions get 1000x more painful during a global pandemic where socialization is limited...) The best approach I have found is to trust that God will meet my needs (spiritual, emotional, relational, physical, etc.) and that through Christ, I have the potential for a full and meaningful life whether I'm married or single. Since singleness is my reality, I will live fully into the joys and opportunities it brings and work through the sorrows and challenges with God and the people who love me. If marriage is ever my reality, the same will apply. I'm rubbish at living this out some days, but these are the promises I keep returning to.
It's wonderful to know that there are faithful single men thinking about these questions too. Keep on, brother!
@@briannabusscher9715 heb 4:15-16
Thanks for the encouragement, sister!
If i am honest. My parents are separated and it has affected my view on marriage. I used to pray to God when i was 18 to lead me to a wife but after seeing the bad side of marriage first hand, now 25, I rarely make those prayers anymore. I'm more focused on living my life for God and growing in my faith. I really do feel for women though because of the points raised, i see it in my own church soo many young godly women looking to get married. Honestly i just see too many problems in marriage that makes me reluctant to get into it.
Naw I understand your view I'm from the same type of background only that my mother was always physically abused in their marriage making me not want to be married. But however if we apply God's wisdom to the marriage and his guidance would make a marriage most envy for.
I also have had the same experience, but, I remain hopeful. Whatever God has made, let no man put asunder
I admire your position because you’re able to have more time for the Lord and helping the Kingdom because your only earthly responsibilities is taking care of yourself and no one waits on you. While I’m a mom a wife a daughter and daughter of Christ I struggle to serve outside my home and I submit to my husband because that’s my role...yet I let it hinder my submission to Jesus...see? It’s like an extra responsibility. If I knew that beforehand and gotten saved before I met my husband I don’t think I would have gotten married. But my wants mean nothing. God knew what I needed Jesus planned for my life to be taken care of by my husband I’m sort of “helpless” In the worldly sense. I too am here to help my husband grow closer to God and vice versa without my husband I probably would’ve never accepted Christ. So overall everything works for the goodness of Christ.
That was the best answer for every unmarried men and women. Thank you pastor.
God bless you
Wow, the level of wisdom here.
What a heartfelt letter. Totally spot on. I feel like that topic should have been labeled here why are Christian couples married later rather than Christian singles.
This was the best response I have heard
Praise the Lord this was amazing and God sent...I really needed this !
I need to hear this in my mind and heart everyday. It isn't fair that I would desire marriage for sex and not looking for God's heart and will for my life. I pray that He has a Boaz out there for me that will lead me to Christ and not away from Him but sadly I don't see that many Christian men willing to step up to the plate and claim their Ruth. It's just very discouraging for me to see but I know I should be praying not just for my Boaz but to seek to change my character as far as my heart and mind not to look at everything in life so distortingly. I hope that makes sense? Very powerful message! Thank you! And keep up the good work! God bless! 😊
Sometimes a guy can claim spirituality until you find out months or years later his true spiritual stance or lack of....decrement is key I guess.
Most will claim "spirituality". You will know them by their fruit (what they say, social media posts, how they treat others, how they spend their time, how they spend their money, what they watch, etc). Most "christians" in America are "christians" outwardly but not inwardly. With their lips they honor God but their hearts are far from Him. They don't seek Him, or love Him, or know Him. Spiritual growth is the Holy Spirit/ Christ in you.. growing. I believe, if you are not walking with Christ you will not know who belongs to Christ and who doesn't and will be susceptible to falling for men that claim "spirituality"
@@reubenwilliams51 solid answer!
I’m a man and this video has been incredibly comforting. As a young man, I’m constantly being bombarded with the world’s expectations of what a young man should be. I hear other males bragging about how many girls they’ve slept with and who they’ve slept with. I hear music that glorifies males who use women for their bodies. Culture in general applauds males who have many women. I refrain from calling these males, “men” because real men don’t behave in such a way. I at times am tempted to say “Eh why not” but I can never bring myself to dishonor God in that way. God has been faithful to me up until this very moment, and I know he will continue to be through all of eternity. He will show me my wife someday, and if he doesn’t, that’s ok too.
Hey man I completely feel the same way. I'm waiting for marriage as a young man as well but the culture continually makes me feel like I'm not all I could be. Finding fellow Christian men that hold fast to this devine ordinance. Do you have an Instagram? Let me know so we can follow each other and not forsake the gathering of the brethren. God bless bro
@jeremiahgray1017 The last 3 sentences made me tear up. How lovely and devoted you are to your Father. May He continue to bless you and keep you.
I am a young Christian man who is available! Where I am, there are no single ladies who are not moving away, in heretical denominations, or they already have someone in their life.
Thanks for this great channel. Precious for singles in Christ. ❤
Amen, Amen, Amen...I love how this is broken down!!...I do not comment on post but I had to with this exhortation...Blessings...
What Piper fails to mention is that being married to someone, without God, can destroy your spouse spiritually. If your spouse is a carnal or lukewarm Christian, or even more so, an unbeliever; your attempts to win them Christ by being an example and encouraging them to draw closer to God; may lead to them despising you and rejecting God. They may become lost because they were never truly ready for a truly saved spouse and had no idea of the pressure put on them to be truly saved.
Therefore, you can make your spouse reject Christ if you are a godly influence. But what may likely also happen is your spouse may draw you into carnality if they are a carnal Christian; or into sin if they are an unbeliever. This will eventually ruin your testimony for Christ, and again, cause your spouse to reject God when they see a so- called Christian sinning.
Thus, many Christians in the comments, are only seeking a spouse because of themselves- their loneliness, their emptiness, their pain. And they may be tempted to risk their relationship with God to make themselves happy. But what about your spouse? If God doesn't ordain the marriage, you can cost them their soul and be the deciding factor of why they end up in hell. What a terrible feeling! Now, God allows for marriages to stay together if a couple is already married and one becomes a believer but if one is single then they should remain that way until God provides a spouse. To do otherwise may damn yourself; but even worse, the one you dearly love, your spouse. You do not want this on your conscience.
Also, what is ironic is that you may end up single anyway. Your spouse may leave because they may reject the pressure to be saved if you are a godly spouse. Or you may have to leave because of repeatedly being drawn into lukewarmness or sin if you are not a godly spouse.
Therefore, single Christians should be content to be single because you can ruin someone else's life and soul. It is not all about you. This is from someone who ignored God, got married, and had a terrible 10 year marriage. My husband is still unsaved and may now never seek God because of my ungodly behavior by being drawn into sin. I also terribly hurt my relationship with God in the process. And end the end I am now single which is what God asked of me in the first place. I deeply regret this and wish I would have been content in Christ alone.
Well, you disobeyed God's instructions and didn't act Christ like before your spouse You admit that. I admire your honesty. It takes guts to admit your mistake. Most people don't have the guts to do that or just flatly refuse to admit to their bad choices. So do give yourself some credit for being honest, and know that God appreciates your honesty with him. Here's the wonderful news. It's never too late to repent of your mistakes. When you repent God forgives you. He doesn't just forget the mistake the moment you repent. He chooses not to bring it up anymore as it's already dealt with and been forgiven. God loves you and Jesus does too. You made a bad choice, but no hurt is too big for God. He won't chastise you forever over that mistake. You may pay a consequence, but ultimately he is doing it out of love. He desires what's best for you because he loves you. Keeping going and don't give up. God has promised to never abandon or forsake you. Pray to the Lord that he help restore you damaged testimony (It can be done. Nothing is impossible with God). As for your husband. keep on praying for him. I'll be praying for him. Keep you head up and Remember Jesus loves you. God bless ✌️
@@Mboy245 Thank you so much!
Love this. God bless you Pastor John!
God knows what you need to hear...
Does he know me?That was fun and crazy at the same time!It was much needed.
A joy to listen to ♰💕🛐
Im single cristian. I understand that we are living in the last days. God has helped me lately renewing my patience. I feel much at ease and and i feel proud of my self for turning vulgar proposal and rejecting inmoral men and i can stand with my head up and i feel in my self i have honor and dignity. I am not worried anymore because i leave it up to god.
I must admit that I've never heard pastor Chan preach. I saw a picture of him with Benny Hinn and wrote him off immediately.
Well, the time has come to stop being judgmental and self-righteous because Francis is an incredible preacher, has great theology, and is passionately in love with Christ.
I needed this, thank you pastor John.
I am 38 and still not married. Better alone than marriage with the wrong person. You are with Jesus.
Same here...38 and unmarried. Spent way too much time with the wrong women. Solitude in Christ is much better. Though, I'd like to find a wife.
Thank you Pastor John, I really appreciated the examples from scripture most.
The church needs to pray for the delay in marriages. So many Christians are frustrated and afraid to talk about their challenges in not having a spouse because it is implied that they are focusing in the Lord. Sexual intimacy is a human biological need, just like hunger. Just like we pray for hunger, let's pray for the cause of delayed marriages especially in the church. Look at reality TV, there are more married couples there than there are in church.
I’ve had more unbelievers commend marriage to me than believers. That begs some questions.
I agree we need to pray. There's something off about the marriagelessness of the church. I don't believe the church should be only singles serving the Lord selflessly - we need families, children, and households sharing the life of Christ and being witnesses in that way.
But sex is not a need like you've said. Sex is no where near the same importance as eating. No one will die from sexlessness - Jesus sure didn't. That idea is idolatrous. Sex is a biological urge. It may be a strong want, but it's not a need.
May the Lord bless His people with sexual purity and strong focus until He blesses with union, and Covenant companionship.
It’s because of the boss babe culture that the church has lapped up.
It’s because of the boss babe culture that the church has lapped up.
It’s because of the boss babe culture that the church has lapped up.
God is calling me out!! I was listening to a different video and this video played next. My name is Caitlin!
I choose to be alone because loneliness is the best defense mechanism from future rejections.
Single girl: It's not your fault
Single guy: It's your fault.
Awesome encouraging message!! Amen Amen Amen!!!
Very solid discussion
God ALWAYS provides for all our NEEDS. Pray, hope and never worry!
Yeah tell that to all the kids starving right now in developing countries. I bet they love to hear your preaching.
@@2ndPigeoncareful, you might be speaking to one of them...
@@2ndPigeon sometimes it's better to be hungry than to be full, it helps you empathize with the suffering christ went through.
@@emiliog8548 So when god doesn't provide, you just justify it by saying that: "Oh Jesus was hungry too."
I should try that one if I forget to bring food for the group. I'd get really popular.
@@2ndPigeon God bless you bro! I think you should consider reading through philippians chapter 4 or through Romans or Romans chapter 5 to get a view of how Christ brings all things to my hope, then let me know what you think.
Christ is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied with him (especially in the midst of pain!). If you really are interested in john piper then check out this sermon!
I really hope you do!
ua-cam.com/video/--JiiuJNvt4/v-deo.html
If you're a godly woman reading this, I as a man, see my fellow Christian brothers around me who are just ungodly. They don't take their faith seriously.
But rest assured, I am doing my best to get them to transform into godly men.
I teach them to get their faith, career, discipline and attitude in order. And for goodness sake, even tell them to visit the gym, because no girl wants a skimpy Christian godly man who's career is in chaos.
Hoping to see more lives transformed.
Great explanation
I am so glad for this question. I also felt Chan's comments were dismissive. Thanks for mentioning student loans.
I have two friends in church who are men in their 40’s and are not married & are *not* having sexual relations with anyone because they *Fear the Lord* & are in a *relationship* with Him AND the church they members of does *not* tolerate sin of this nature & there are consequences. I too also am a single person & am not in a relationship with anyone because I *Fear the Lord* & am in a *relationship* with Him. Also most of our parents were virgins when they got married & it is taught that one must remain pure if they are single as sex is only for the married. Dating is also *not* encouraged or even allowed in our churches in most cases. Courting *after* engagement is allowed under with the emphasis that an engagement does not give license for sex. Most engaged couples share their first kiss after the vows are performed at the wedding ceremony. It is about the Fear of the Lord & being in relationship with Him, why we endeavour to avoid at all costs sexual sin. Sometimes God wants singles to Himself for awhile before He release His child for marriage. Being single in God’s economy is good and acceptable and perfect & I embrace it until the time appointed unto me for marriage. Until then I pursue intimacy with Him.🇨🇦
This was so encouraging!! Thank you so much, Pastor John! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Ruth was a widow who Naomi wanted remarried to a relative in order to honor God's laws regarding kinsmen redeeming their deceased brother by marrying their widow and giving him an heir through her. After she bore him an heir, any other children would be his own.
Ruth did as Naomi told her in going and being in the presence of Boaz as he was kin to her deceased husband. While there was a closer relative than him, Boaz made sure to wait and make sure he could not or would not redeem his property + Ruth before he took her, even though she had already made it clear she wanted to be with Boaz, following Naomi's commands/advice.
Mind you, we don't know if Boaz already had a wife, because it's not said, but it's unlikely he didn't given his age and status / wealth. But we don't know, however if he did, the lesson here is it would not have mattered one bit. Something to consider as Christians along with many other examples in scripture that show women joining the family of men who already have a wife or wives, and how it is not a matter of reproach to do so.
The story Piper is really leaving out here is that a younger widow (1 Tim 5:14) submitted to the advice/command of an older woman (Titus 2:4) and sought out an older and proven man to take her in and redeem her and give her deceased husband an heir, even though Boaz wasn't the closet kin, and the closest kin who seems to have been a younger man turned it down, so Boaz + Ruth gave the deceased husband an heir (Deut 25:5) ... That heir ultimately was the father of Jesse and the father of David.
"Then Boaz said, “May the LORD bless you, my daughter. You have shown more kindness now than before, because you have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor." ... Ruth did not seek out younger men who were probably more attractive, or more wealthy (even though it seems Boaz was pretty well off) ... Such a crucial lesson here, how many Christian women pass on Christian men for superficial reasons?
There's a LOT to unpack in that story and it's awesome. But Piper explains it in a way that is void of all of the realities of the situation, and basically just tells Christian women to "wait and pray" like Ruth. But that's not what Ruth did, she took action based on commands from an older woman she respected, that older woman knew God's laws and ways, and advised Ruth based on that. Boaz knew God's laws and commands and made decisions based on that to honor them. He didn't just take the younger woman and lay with her when he could have in a dishonorable way.
Mind you, God is sovereign over all of that, and I'm not suggesting we don't pray and seek His guidance, I'm saying that part of His guidance is His law and his word, and much of that tells us what to do in life, Christendom is just ignoring a majority of it to teach falsely on marriage and we are paying for it.
Wow, this was just great.
Perfect answer!!!❤️🙏🏻
Such wisdom ❤️❤️❤️
College was my plan B, beacause there are no young men around. I waited 3 years and nothing.
I see your comment was 7 months ago...any luck yet?
So so good!!! Amen!
Fantastic!
Unfortunately spiritual women are just as rare...
G Streets there's a rare woman here🤗
Cate Baker - and here...high five, Cate, and cheers to rare, godly women who are in love with Jesus Christ.
Cate Baker I watched 2 of your videos. Very funny lol. Is the second one in Spanish?
G Streets yeah hahh those videos are so dumb tho!.. I'm a spanish speaker, that's why one is in spanish.
Bless you brother😊
Cate Baker Cool. I just finished a Spanish class at a local university and plan to take more courses
Wait until you get to 55 and have been holy and praying for a husband from age 28. So few Christian men around ...left.
If Christendom were following God's ways on marriage rather than Rome's or the worlds, this would likely never happen. But Christian women would also have to be open to understanding God's ways and the options He gave them, one of those options being a woman joining a family of a man who is already covering 1 woman. There simply is *never* enough men to cover all the women if you force it to be 1:1, it's just not possible. So many many women are consistently left out of marriage as a result.
Women that yearn for marriage, not women gifted with a life of celibacy and total devotion to God and his work. Women who are told to marry rather than burn, widows who are told to remarry, bear children and keep home, but are now competing with single virgin younger Christians in an already depleted pool of good single Christian men. The math will never work out if you enforce the monogamy-only false doctrine.
But Christian women and men are not raised to understand that 1 man covering more than 1 wife is a possibility as a Christian, so we don't consider it or understand it, or worse, believe it's a sin and judge the practice, including the men in scripture who practiced it without a single word of rebuke from God on the matter.
@Pacifica74 that’s certainly a choice you can make, but it being “yucky” to you is your culture and tradition, it’s not based on scripture.
@@mrmonay Um no, Polygamy is very specifically prohibited in the New Testament
@@Mboy245 nothing can be prohibited in the NT that wasn’t in the Law/Torah. If it was lawful (not sin) in Torah, it’s not sin now. To claim otherwise shows a fundamental lack of understanding of the law, Jesus, Paul and the other writers. Polygyny was never forbidden, not by any means, if you think it has you have misinterpreted the text, and need to study further.
Thank you.
❤️🔥 Francis Chan & ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 Ur ? & insight, Katelynn. I see what Ur saying & Rejoice that there’s purity still held close 2 my sisters 💕! praise God. Unfortunately, I’m exactly who he’s referring 2 & sadly many I know this has proven common. The body is coming back tho!!!! We’ll b a perfect bride bc Jesus is coming. I’m making that celibacy attempt (I’m 46 😂) now. Ty Francis 4 the conviction & Katelynn 4 the hope & JESUS 4 The Spirit & ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 we have 4 You!!!! God bless 😘
This content just popped out in my UA-cam algorithm hahaha… it just like the random things ever.. i also thought that maybe I don’t want to get married in the future just because i have some traumatic about marriage (broken families)… like I don’t deserve it.. i want to serve you Lord alone without thinking about having a man just focus on His Words, but in the other hand, the Lord really deny it and He just told me exactly last year.. i am going to be married in my 25… (I’m 23 anyway) yeah it gives me bunch of hopes and some weird feelings ever..(I’m not that romantic 😂) whenever i deny it… the Lord really angry at me.. so He gives me Insight about me having twins 😂. So wait guys… the Lord really wants the Best for us. So keep in Faith. Trust Him and also ask Him..
My recommendation is for no one to marry! It's too difficult, and we as a people are too messed up! I tried it and it was a disaster.
Nah, I’m still going for it.
@@Professorgutierrez OK it was just my opinion. Go for it. Maybe you can succeed where others failed.
Sounds like a lot of them are pursuing their careers, and that is most important.
Many older comments here; I'm late to the party. But here goes. What size is your god? Have you turned over EVERYTHING to Him? Or don't you trust Him to bring you the spouse of your dreams: within 5 years of your age, corporate job w/IRA, certain height, certain weight, blonde/blue, lives within a 30 minute drive, etc. See what I'm getting at? He has maybe sent 10 qualified people and you rejected them all because YOU are the god of your relationships.
huh?
@@PapaSeed What don't you understand, James?
@@DP-fg3dv what do you mean “he has maybe sent 10 qualified people and you rejected them all because YOU are the god of your relationships”???
@@PapaSeed I mean people are way too fussy on physical characteristics. Read my original comment. Does she really need to be blonde hair, blue eyes, tall, etc. Look at her heart. Does she pursue God? Are you attracted to her? Then go for it and date her. See if you click. No one is perfect; we are perfected over time. You may find that her wonderful belly laugh makes you forget about her misaligned ears. Or crooked smile (like mine). Or whatever.
@@DP-fg3dv But if we have faith, why can't we hope for the best of the best spouse
God bless you
Yes, lots of comments here about churches with 30 single godly women and only 4 single godly men. As a man, I can tell you that this is not a situation that new-coming/visiting men are interested in. I've been there, a newcomer and the only single man in small groups and in Bible studies. There's an expectation that you should date "Amelia" or date "Sabrina." Everyone tries setting you up and then they rebuke you when you refuse, when you aren't interested. The hearts of the single women in question become hardened, and it also happens for the men because of the drama. You're put in a position where you feel like you're "wasting space" in the small group because another single man could be there, another single man who would actually be interested in pursuing that single woman. It's very toxic, and I've been there in multiple churches as I've tried to find a church home. Sure, we're all human and we have flaws and we are constantly working towards lives of holiness, but it's just another way to push those men away from the church.
Wow! I never saw it that way. I was starting to think that single Christian men must not be going to church. Most people would agree with me when I say that the church is overrun with single women. So when Christian guys keep saying they can’t find godly women, it makes me wonder where exactly are they looking? I guess going to church overrun with single women could create a pressure for guys to pick someone. I’m very picky myself and I really dislike it when my friends try to set me up when I don’t ask them to. Then they get offended when I don’t show interest when they did not even bother to ask what I’m looking for. I’m just going to start telling people I am not interested in dating. God knows what will work for me and I will pursue the Lord in prayer about this.
I've been there. I don't want to date too quickly. I want to know everyone first and just be a brother. What bothered me most was the disappointment and upset when I'm not interested in some of the sisters that are interested in me. A sister approached me later and said I hurt her for not matching with her. That was real heavy to lay on me.
@@BethJehovah she sounds a bit insecure to say that you hurt her just because you didn't match with her. Sounds like she needs prayers and may not be mature enough to date yet.
@@Mboy245 She was just hoping. I get it. It does hurt. I just wouldn't have said that to the person I liked.
Piper is wrong again. You would think that occasionally he would get a scripture passage right by dumb luck. He does not know the real story of Ruth. He must have just read the comic book version. The whole story is much better Ruth's marriage to Boaz was NOT a miracle and God did not find Ruth a wife. Naomi, her mother-in-law did. It wasn't impossible for the Moabitess Ruth the widow of an Israelite to find a new husband in her old husband's home town, it was a certainty, required by Jewish law that she did. As the widow of a Jew without an heir it was the duty of the nearest kinsman to marry her and produce an heir. The only trick was finding the one she wanted. That took Naomi's feminine wiles and some hard work and a submissive spirit by Ruth. The women decided Boaz was the best candidate and waged an active campaign to convince him it was his idea. T hey worked hard to plant Ruth in the right places on Boaz's land so he couldn't help tripping over her looking all cute, hardworking and submissive - the perfect wife. The coup-de-grace was a bold idea by Naomi for Ruth to dress up pretty and perfumed and sneak over to where he was to sleep and curl up at his feet as an act of submission and sexual availability. Even a nerd couldn't miss that signal. And it worked. Boaz was hooked and bought out the nearer kinsmen and married her. Hard work, flirting, and submission worked out and Ruth, a foreigner, became the ancestor of not only King David but eventually Jesus himself. The moral of the story is, it pays to quit waiting on the Lord, get off your couch, and do something about what you want.
Good advice. Where are the female equivalents of the godly men described here?
Scott McPhee
They are in Ecclesiastes7,28
Sarah and Rebekah.
Amen. thank you for this powerful message
He who finds a wife finds a good thing. That is the caveat "wife", sadly we have generations of rebellious tarnished women that preach the witcraft gospel of jezebel and then wonder why men are not marrying them. It is better to be alone than be with a contentious feminist wife. Now the false preachers are worried about the church economy instead of the Word. "Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men". Matthew 5:13
Why does this pastors encouragement make me feel worse? Is it because the real short answer is you won’t get married and there is nothing we can do to help you? Just be honest and say it , you will suffer.
All im saying is, where are all these good Christian single women at?
In Church...
at home
God is sovereign over all these complexities, just relax.
Amen
"Christians are following the ways of the world-How do I adapt better to a fallen world and its hatred of the institution of the family?"
That's what the title of this video looks like to me.
Wow. ❤️❤️❤️
It's a lots simpler than that. There are about 7 to 10 percent more women in the church than men. According to a Pew Research Report.
Amen.
Amen 🙌
I wish more pastors would be real with us and talk about the fact that many of us won’t be married. Singleness is a gift-this is in scripture. No where in the Bible does it say that every single person will marry. Especially as we age, I’m almost 36 years old and I’ve long since gotten over the delusion of “God is sending me a husband,” I’m thankful and content in my singleness. Many of you will be disappointed cause you’ll be waiting forever. I hear 50+ year old women waiting for “Boaz,” I find it hysterically funny.
Maybe you meant to be single. That's why you are so content
Paul said in Corinthians that if you can not contain your Desires for the other sex...to me that means ( If you crave men, if you have the desire for sex ) then go ahead lest you are led to sin ✨
I'm glad you are content but on the other hand there are women who God gave the natural desire for the other sex, and If scripture says they should get married then they should continue waiting.
Paul was given the gift where he didn't desire sex or the opposite sex and if you were given that gift Praise the Lord but yes some woman at 50 can be battling her natural desire for a husband everyday and you ask her to just throw her fait away ? Idk
Wow😭
I believe but why get married at all?
David Icke Do you mean inviting government as the third party or married "at all".
Pastor John knows Francis Chan?! 😱
This is an old clip ... a lot can happen God forbid to any of us ...
Older singles are abstaining from sex also.
Chan may be right in his analysis to a degree, but I would be careful listening to him because he’s getting deep into the NAR which is straight heresy.
Whats NAR?
plenty of us good single young men in Europe, where we so often seem to have the opposite problem: plenty of Godly young men, few marryable young men.
22yo Male. My main problem is I feel I would not be good enough for you girls. I'm supposed to be the provider for you and a couple of kids, and I'm not making enough.
Come on! How can you defend someone like that and just be dismissive to that woman's comment? Tis is so disappointing. The biggest reality is that married pastors are preaching to large congregations with many single women. The truth of the matter is there are mostly women in the church with very little men in the church thst are single and of marriagable age. There are mostly no singles programs and engouragement. I would say it's mostly not becasr of student loans.
And on the marriage question, no man on the planet wants anything to do with a woman who has a mountain of debt! If their degree has not resulted in a job that is able to pay off said debt then they’re a complete fool! The borrower is the slave to the lender and who in their right mind wants to be with a SLAVE!?
Great message Pastor John ,am single and a virgin,faithfully waiting on the Lord .God bless you !
It's sad that Christian men go for younger and pretty just like the world. A guy who's in his mid 50s keeps asking girls younger and "keeps getting rejected" and by passes many godly women in their 40s and 30s bc he's "not attracted to them." It's disgusting to know. Others are alike. Sad.
It's the way it should be. Those age prejudiced women are in the wrong.
R❤️
These days, why even get married?
The Antichrist
That's an excellent question, to which it would be absolutely worth finding an answer.