Exactly. All his words are from a parent perspective even when he speaks on his dad parenting style. You could tel NOW he understands growing up in Lou his parents had to be that way.
Jayson seems to be emotionally intelligent and doing better with his son than what he experienced. I hope he is receiving love for himself too now. We all deserve that.
The fact that his parents were super hard on him explains why he responds so well to Ime Udoka’s gritty coaching style. He seems like a super mature young man to be able to speak about these experiences and turn it into positive energy.
Holding his son against the wall and humiliating him in front of others, telling him he's not going to be anything had nothing to do with being hard. It was brutality and abuse.
Trying to push your kid to greatness is one thing, berating and humiliating to get that greatness out of him is another. You can argue “Hey, it worked”, but you can’t say he wouldn’t have made it this far with positivity and toughness at the same time.
@@Musicdudeyoutub So many all time greats who didn’t get humiliated by their dad every day though. The antics just aren’t needed. Tough yes, tyrant though? Michael Jordan can attest to that not being needed
Exactly. Lot's of pro athlete's parents try to justify their actions be looking at the end result. Problem is there's no way to know what would have happened had they not been abusive. It's a scumbag move. My dad acted similarly with my siblings and I. Problem is none of us went pro and half of us don't even talk to him now. And the ones that do aren't even really close with him.
Exactly. Mfs are saying he did it to make Jayson tough and that the end result worked, but no amount of bs will justify crossing that line and going beyond what's necessary. That's not the way to raise your children, regardless of whatever goal or achievement you got in mind for them. The ends don't justify the means, especially in a parental relationship. His dad is just one lucky mf that had a talented enough son to at least make it seem like his bullshit methods weren't all that bad.
This interview made me so sad. I love Tatum. He seems to be a great dad, and a respectful young man, not to mention a hell of a player. I'm so happy he didn't let his pain control his future.
What a relief that Jayson is able to overcome his traumatic relationship with his father and model a more wholesome, loving, and balanced parental bond with his son, Deuce, who adores him.
Hugs to JT, that must've been tough going through all that. He is an amazing young man and a wonderful father. Sometimes you learn how not to be and that is just as valuable as learning how to be.
I grew up like this with my father never really had a relationship outside of sports but it made me make sure I’m close with my daughter and spending time creating a bond
yes and jaysom is in that position to be a great father and provide an amazing life because of Jayson's teachings. Jaysom's mom was also "tough" on him. amazing things happen when you push your child to excel
I agree with what you’re saying but…. He is who he is today, because of his father. He wouldn’t be in the NBA today, without his father guidance. He needed someone to be rough on him. He is a wonderful father to his son, due to his own experiences with his father. His father just wanted to bring the best out of JT. What if he had an absentee father? Would JT be in the position he is today? That’s just his dad’s way of parenting, and getting the best out of his son. No one is perfect at parenting, we just learn from our parents and try to implement it in a better way. His dad knew what to say to make Jayson ball out, and it worked.
@@woodylucas that’s a damn ignorant statement. He pinned his son to a locker like a cliche bully and told jayson he wasn’t gonna make it. There’s a line he crossed he’s a father first not a coach
He needed this release of those childhood demons. He needed this therapy. I pray that his father and him can restore and restart for that father/son relationship he so needs.
I wish people could see that a person can certainly reach amazing heights without any trauma and abuse. All experiences aren’t necessary but I think it’s a defense mechanism when people say they wouldn’t trade a poor experience such as a abuse.
False. You can NOT reach greatness without a hard hand. Joe Jackson and Michael Jackson, CL Franklin and Aretha Franklin, Richard Williams and Serena/Venus, Earl Woods and Tiger Woods. Phil and Shaq, James Jordan & Michael Jordan. All great. All ruthlessly strict demanding fathers. You need insanity to become great and each of those BLACK FATHERS gave it to their son. These type videos try to tear down black fathers. Ain't falling for it. You shouldn't either.
@@DrAlexanderHamilton ???? parenting styles derived from trying to survive under slavery is what caused this trauma in the first place. success does not negate poor mental health. You don't need to be insane to be great
@@Seitex2004 you're flat out wrong. I'm not talking about good. I'm talking about great. Greatness takes insanity and unless you're great at something, you wouldn't know. I am great. What I have achieved giving my background is flat out astonishing and I had similar parenting and every other great person I've met have similar stories...and it's not just black people. Indians, Asians, Nigerians, and many Carribean parents are notoriously hard on their children as you have to be to prepare them for a ruthless world. Children that grow up soft are not prepared for what this ruthless world will throw at them. Yale Law professor Amy Chua, an Asian America wrote the same thing about how hard she was on her children and how great they became great. I can't remember the name of the book about all the top folks on Wall Street and in silicone valley, but they all came from households with ruthless parenting. Steve Jobs of Apple, Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook, Elon Musk of PAYPAL MAFIA/Tesla/Space X, Larry Ellison of Oracle, Marc Benioff of Salesfore. All great. All had strict overbearing ruthless parenting. Jayson Tatutm would not be in the NBA if his father wasn't that ruthless. Michael Jackson admitted he would have never become the King of Pop without the ruthless parenting of Joe Jackson. Serena & Venus have always said that they wouldn't be at the top of the tennis world without Richard Williams' ruthless parenting. Michael Jordan talked about his father and older brother making him play in the cold rain and how he wouldn't be where he is at the top of the basketball and sports world without ruthless parenting. Tiger Woods has talked ad nausem about how harsh Earl Woods was on him as a child. ALL GOATS. Oh and just google the parenting stories of Roger Feder, Nadal, Djokoviv, Naomi Osaka and Coco Gauf. I could go on and on. All came from ruthless parenting. You might be less strict on your children and they might end up good, but they will never be GREAT. For a greater understanding on this topic, please read "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua, which is about ruthless parenting. p.s. look at the next video titled "Jayson Tatum: Coach K's "soft a$$ St. Louis kid" tantrum." Coach K at Duke was equally ruthless, but Jayson Tatum was adequately prepared to handle Coach K b/c of how hard his father was on it. Great parenting.
I'm glad Jayson seems like he is trying to be the best dad and emotionally present for Deuce, it takes a lot of courage and maturity to say "I'm gonna be to my children what I never had in life".
That's what his dad was to him. He just doesn't see it now. His father was a high school gym teacher. Yet he taught him basketball all the time. Jayson now has the money and time to chill with his kid.
@@OedipusSimplexyeaaa, see I had a life similar to JT. My dad didnt have his but he didnt carry the emotional abuse he received from my grandma either so its a double edged sword 🤷🏾♂️. Yea JT respects his pops, so I mean he had to understand but they'll never be close like JT and duece.
@@terrence6786 Did your dad spend his time away from work teaching you basketball? In this same interview he tells how Coach K at Duke behaved similarly as his dad. How many of those friends of his whose fathers took them to parks or fishing are in his position now? Without his Dad, JT would have been even more soft. Coach K could see it too. At least the bullying was limited to just basketball. You wanted his gym teacher father to be taking him to work as he does Deuce? Let see if Deuce will be a baller like him or just a trust fund nepo baby?
@@OedipusSimplex Yes, my father actually took time from driving 10-12 hours (CDL) to come teach me basics about baseball AND football. Now those friends whom your aking about, majority of people, that would include you if you wanted to play professional sports, should already understand that would require many things other than just how you were raised! JT Moms also gave him tough love... so he wouldnt have been soft, now a man? thats a different story. All Im saying is tough love is fine, hell both of mines whooped my ass growing up but they also expressed love to me, something that JT expresses that he miss or wish he got to experience AS WELL AS the tough love.
There will be people who will watch this and feel as though his father's abuse was justified because of Jason's success. His father abused him and to many people believe this is the way to go. I come across to many cases where adults are traumatized by their childhood.
I'd rather have my child not be a professional athlete if it had to come at the cost of not having a loving relationship with them. I find that kind of parenting gross. So happy Jayson can give Deuce what he never had. Jayson is an amazing father!!
How is it not loving? Your own father teaching you basketball 247365 is loving. He just needed to cut out the bullying. Tatum Sr was preventing his son from being mediocre as he was. Now he is a champion after losing. He is resilient. I can guarantee you Jayson's friend's who never made it wish their dad spent that much time teaching them a craft than the occasional park trips. Sometimes kids see things in other households from outside in and wish they had that.
@@gabexyzofficial8307 They are not about to sign a $300 million 5 years deal to play basketball. Jayson Tatum is a softie. Coach K at Duke told him so too. Without his Dad he would have been so soft as to even succeed as he is doing.
Many men use the excuse that they didn't have a father so they don't know how to be one and abandoned their duties. Good for him ending that BS excuse 👏
My husband grew up in AAU and this story is very common. We saw many father/son relationships ruined bc of the trainer/coach dad. We even saw one of our friends refuse to attend his fathers funeral bc of the damage the coaching by his father did to their relationship.
Hurt people tend to hurt people. It's difficult for a man whose father wasn't present to have an idea as to how to raise a child. Some may be inspired to bring up their child in a way that they which they had growing up and some tend to continue the cycle. It sucks that his father was hard on him but in the same sense he's grateful because that sense of disdain that he thought his father had towards him made him one of the top 5 young players in the NBA today and I'm sure it's one of the reasons why he is such a great father figure for his son Duece.
Lmao this is complete crap. MJ would get massively depressed and psycho because his father would berate him for not being as helpful as his eldest brother
@@goodymob9638Nope, he got it right. His father would ask him to hand him a specific tool and MJ would come back with something else. His dad told him to go away, you're never going to amount to anything. I'm paraphrasing, of course. Do some research chief.
This type of abuse is horrible but that pressure can create diamonds. Ichiro Suzuki famously doesn't talk to his father due to his abusive and obsessive baseball training since early childhood - but he became one of the greatest ever and his father has a shrine of his accomplishments even though they don't speak. Tiger Woods' father is another great example.
Yeah but look at steph curry, Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, Lewis Hamilton. There is no valid reason why your own child should ever feel like you literally do not even like them as a person. That’s just dumb and people like that die alone
This warms my heart, @85 my Dad is one of my best friends. Jason seems like he's got the right idea. I'm still trying to be the best father to my own , even in their 20's. The early years are golden, wish him the best.
This just reminds me to let my kids be kids. Yes, I want them to succeed, and there's a certain level they may not reach without being pushed, but I don't want them to ever feel like I don't like them. JT's dad was doing the best that he could with as much information that he had at the time. We know better now so we should be wise with the approach we take with our kids in any field that they want or that we want them to pursue
This is an instance where the traumatic coaching "worked " in that he got to the NBA. Can't imagine all of the similar stories in which the kid doesn't make it. Just left with traumatic experiences and broken relationship with fathers.
I understand. It was obvious my mother didn’t like me. While the way she treated me pushed me to succeed, prove her wrong and be a great mother to my own child…her mean treatment towards me created scars that will never go away. I suffered from low self esteem for years and still to this day struggle with my self confidence that I have to manage. So you’re not doing your kids any favors by demeaning them. People looking from the outside may think you’re so successful but no one knows the pain on the inside of you that you never talk about. I swore I would never be like my mother and I’m not. I forgave her but to this day don’t have the type of relationship I would want with a parent.
Jayson is amazing for overcoming what he has in his life to succeed and give his family and himself a better life. I do hope he is able to process all the different ways his childhood relationship with his father has effected his own well-being and relationships with others as an adult. That can be very difficult.
There has to be a HAPPY Medium. Your Child has to know you love him. As a kid you don't understand why your parents do what they do, but once you are a parent, never forget when you were a kid
Grew up and became an great basketball and a great father to his son I respect it. It hard to make your parents happy the way you want them to be in general no matter what it is
I wouldnt be surprised if his father low key envy Tatum. It be the one's closest to you. Once I really sat back and thought about my upbringing it really opened my eyes as to who genuinely cared for me and who didn't.
Jayson made it this far and he’s so talented there’s no ceiling to his success but I hope all parents know that this isn’t necessary. You don’t have to torture your kid for them to be great.
I was watching this interview on Television on New Years Eve Day. I found it on UA-cam so I could post my 2cents in. I felt Jason's Emotional Vibration when he was speaking Candidly about his family's and boyhood struggles, like when the Preppy kids told him that his chances of being an NBA Star were not realistic and he cried because they were laughing at him and he truly believed in his heart that, that's what he was going to be. I can relate to being laughed at. It hurts when people don't have faith in your ambitious dreams and goals. His Mom really said the right thing about never forgetting that moment and sticking to his dreams! I hope that he can achieve a championship someday. (Even though I'm a Heat Fan). I follow certain Players and Jason Tatum has a lot of Court Presence and makes an impact on the Games Outcome for sure. Good luck Jason.
Fortunately some dads are not conditioned to give a Fathers Blessing to there sons. The right words and positive encouragement will change a mans trajectory forever!! Good for Tatum he used it for good and proved he made it.
I live in Australia and his dad coaches here in the NBL. He took over midway through the season after they fired their original coach. They were dead last when he took over and now they’re coming 4th. He is now running for coach of the year.
@@OedipusSimplexhis dad didn’t do ish. When jayson was without lights. And water where was his dad ? He wasn’t putting food on the table. Brandy worked tirelessly to provide. But sure dad show up for basketball. Smh. Father is a bum
@@audreyloire3131and I’m sure that mother goddess figure you’re praising had no impact on that situation getting to where it was…. I’m 100% sure she didn’t ostracize the father from the situation for not capitulating to her desires…. Life is not black and white everything lives in the shades of grey
@@audreyloire3131 His father was in the same shoes as his mother both being teen parents. Where did you want him to get money from? He was in college playing basketball without pay. When he started playing basketball professionally in the Netherlands he would fly both of them to see him. He came back and became a gym teacher and taking care of his son's and other children's sport's education. Spending afternoons and weekends with his son. What a bum! The *ONLY* reason you are able to watch this video is because Justin Tatum taught his son basketball. Delusional fatherless woman.
WOW. This immediately reminded me of Roy Jones Jr's dad who would taunt Roy in training and make him fight bigger kids. he said they don’t talk anymore
I feel bad for JT. Even if ppl might think that he wouldn't be successful without a tough father is hard to grow up in a environment like that. My dad was very hard on me too and I do resent many things so I can relate to him. The good thing is that he wants to raise his kid in a total opposite way! What a nice guy!
While this may be true in this instance. This is not relegated to black parents. We have a bad habit of believing all trauma based behavior only resides in the black community. Again, not to excuse any behavior because another community may do it also, but the fact is this behavior occurs very often outside of our community as well.
This goes back to Joe Jackson when he was tough on his kids just cause he wanted them to make it and they did. You wanna be the best, sacrifices have to be made in your life. For me I missed out on that father in my life fortunately. I grow up without one and I can say today at 36 that he may not have been his fault. I blame the system and my mom has fault in it too. But that’s the hardest part of growing up for me and being a man. I don’t know how to because I have no father in my life so I can only go on other peoples experience.
Seems like tough love he still loved JT but was so tunnel vision on seeing him succeed, he made him feel like shit more than he lifted him up . Glad he's being a great father breaking the cycle his last 2 generations or maybe more have repeated
His father knew how to push his limits. I know a lot of people can’t handle that but look who Jason Tatum is today. He’s a superstar, but I also get that abuse can lease to mental health issues so that’s the downside to being too hard on kids.
Jayson’s dad was mine. Got a baseball bat thrown at me and was then called a pussy right after. That coaching/parenting does not work. I will have psychological damage for the rest of my life bc of the way he treated me, and just hearing Tatum speak shows that he continually deals with his trauma to this day, too. Jayson is incredibly accomplished, but I can guarantee u he would’ve been just as accomplished without the emotional abuse. He’s got way too much talent, skill, and intellect. His dad didn’t need to do this shit
I knew there was a back story to this kid they all have a story the greats and potential greats have stories that sums up there style of play and love for the game,Tatum is real conscious when he’s out on the floor Surveying the tempo to be exact so he could get to his spots and kill from there but from my understanding and these stories (Even the one with Coach K)Tatum had his best results when someone questions his heart and love for the game he clearly takes it personal when somebody says he soft and that shit makes his game Unconscious when he’s feeling like that,When he learns how to switch that unconsciousness on Any time he wants then he officially in his prime he still think too much out there a prime Tatum is Gonna be a straight killer and the best scorer of his Era america
That adversarial relationship is set by so many black fathers trying to be strong disciplinarians. It works, but at the cost of a close relationship. Me and my father will never be close because I grew up seeing him as an enemy and oppressor. I totally withdrew from all unnecessary interactions just to stay out of trouble. I wanted to be like my big brother, I saw him as my protector. That overly harsh parenting is as much a mistake as the overly permissive parenting. But, my dad didn’t have a dad, so he was doing better than he had ever seen demonstrated in his life.
This is a cold ass world we live in. His father raised him to be a lion and without pain there is no growth. People in the comments may try to discredit his father but look at the outcome of fathers who were “hard” on their sons; Michael Jackson, prince, Tom Brady, Peyton Manning. There’s no perfect way of parenting but sometimes there is an invisible sacrifice on both ends for greatness. Could there have been a better way of parenting? Sure but look at Jayson Tatums wealth and success in comparison to his counterparts. His father payed for him to go to a private school and tried his hardest of what he knew to raise him. Life isn’t perfect
My father was the same and I love him even more now than before … it’s hard raising a black man in a world that made for him to be mediocre especially as a father that wants his son to succeed …
What is wrong with these people saying his dad did his job? It's not a father's job to humiliate your child and possibly scar them for life and only be around when basketball is involved. Jason talked about how he had to get food from neighbors when he was hungry. Where was his dad then? Aren't they supposed to provide? This parenting technique is horrible. Yall who agree with his dad, I hope yall never have kids.
I wish this conversation was held with a marriage and family therapist, not on such a large platform. This man has wounds that need to heal with the proper professionals.
He basically went through a form of child abuse. So sad. It made him who he is, but I know that having a loving and supportive father, he still could’ve went pro 😢
His dad was my coach as well and we played for the same aau org I watched him grow up. His dad wasn’t as bad as they make him seem and I hate to see how he is treated in the media. His dad was a hard ass on all of us even if you didn’t play for him he was tough but it’s cause he wanted to make people better. They pushing this fatherless narrative and his dad was always there
@@BeautifulDove-i7u he wouldn’t be a pro without his dad being tough on him where we from it’s plenty of good hoopers but the environment takes their dreams his dad wasn’t letting that shit happen dude was there and coached and raised him
My mother was on drugs as a baby i was adopted by my grandmother…my father was alive and id see him once every blue moon where he’d give me $40…my mother would visit similarly(shes been clean for aslong as ive been alive) but long story short my gma raised me….i grew up and im 35 now but that crazy thing is i grew up not being able call someone mom or dad !!!! That eats at me alot as an adult. I feel cheated out of something.
Your kids shouldn't ever wonder if you like them. There should be a balance between discipline and love. Sorry Jason that you missed having a dad, and sorry that your father missed it as well. I pray that you can find that balance with your children ❤
He wanted his son to be the greatest, to do everything he didn't, to accomplish everything that he couldnt, to live a better life than he did. It's no excuse for his treatment, and we don't like how he did it & it might have ultimately ruined his relationship with son...but in his dad's eyes it worked because look at him now. Unless you intentionally learn how to stop the cycle, you will only show love in the ways its been given to you, which is what it looks like his father did with him, but Jayson Tatum is making an intentional effort to break that cycle & be a better dad to his son, not everyone is strong enough to do that. Kudos to him👏🏼👏🏼❤
In the sports community I see this happen alot growing up where the father and son going to all the tournaments and workouts being hard on them at the same time. At the end of the day it's for the good in most cases
People dont understand how hard it is to be a father /athlete and to raise an athletic son. As the the Father/athlete you already know what it takes to be at a certain level an you are trying so hard to give your son these lessons and teachings and it becomes hard to separate the athletic teachings and the fatherly teachings
@@tygur23tatum would tell you his mom is equally responsible. Who paid for all of those prep schools and basket camps. It was not this father. Not one dime. Aau was funded entirely by mom. All while going to school herself. His father is repeated the same mistakes with his second son. U guys like to credit these losers while the adult children finally tell you about the trauma.
@@audreyloire3131 so you know the financial inner workings of this family glad you were their can you provide receipts of what was and wasn't paid for by his father.
This puts his extremely close and caring relationship with Deuce in perspective.
really beautiful point
Exactly. All his words are from a parent perspective even when he speaks on his dad parenting style. You could tel NOW he understands growing up in Lou his parents had to be that way.
Agreed.
Who’s deuce?
@@JimmyStruthers1000 his son
This is the saddest interview I’ve watched in a while. It definitely encourages me to let my son know how much I love him daily though.
God bless! You just put such a positive spin on this!
Respect.
I read your comment before I watched the video and I was like this can't be the saddest interview but it really is
Do that. Be a good father.
Your comment made me feel better about the interview!
Glad JT broke the cycle and has a great relationship with Deuce. He genuinely seems like a good father.
Nah, JT dad was the one that “broke the cycle “.
Jayson is growing up to be a great young man and a incredible father. I'm glad he turns the negatives into positives.
Jayson seems to be emotionally intelligent and doing better with his son than what he experienced. I hope he is receiving love for himself too now. We all deserve that.
Mom ❤
Graham is like a sports therapist. Athletes open up to him like they are in therapy. Asks a simple question and just let them talk freely.
The fact that his parents were super hard on him explains why he responds so well to Ime Udoka’s gritty coaching style. He seems like a super mature young man to be able to speak about these experiences and turn it into positive energy.
please explain to me how is ur father torturing you related to having a defensive coach ?? wtf u talking about ?
@@bokaboka4675 😭
Holding his son against the wall and humiliating him in front of others, telling him he's not going to be anything had nothing to do with being hard. It was brutality and abuse.
@@bokaboka4675 honestly I’d explain it to you but I don’t really want to so just try and change perspectives to figure out what he means
He’s playing better now with the new coach!! Soooo
Trying to push your kid to greatness is one thing, berating and humiliating to get that greatness out of him is another. You can argue “Hey, it worked”, but you can’t say he wouldn’t have made it this far with positivity and toughness at the same time.
Having a need to dominate other athletes is probably never healthy, but that's the path of a professional athlete. I think they're all a little psycho
There’s a fine line
@@Musicdudeyoutub So many all time greats who didn’t get humiliated by their dad every day though. The antics just aren’t needed. Tough yes, tyrant though? Michael Jordan can attest to that not being needed
Exactly. Lot's of pro athlete's parents try to justify their actions be looking at the end result. Problem is there's no way to know what would have happened had they not been abusive. It's a scumbag move.
My dad acted similarly with my siblings and I. Problem is none of us went pro and half of us don't even talk to him now. And the ones that do aren't even really close with him.
Exactly. Mfs are saying he did it to make Jayson tough and that the end result worked, but no amount of bs will justify crossing that line and going beyond what's necessary. That's not the way to raise your children, regardless of whatever goal or achievement you got in mind for them. The ends don't justify the means, especially in a parental relationship. His dad is just one lucky mf that had a talented enough son to at least make it seem like his bullshit methods weren't all that bad.
This interview made me so sad. I love Tatum. He seems to be a great dad, and a respectful young man, not to mention a hell of a player.
I'm so happy he didn't let his pain control his future.
That last sentence!
Don’t watch the Sage Steele interview then. He cries 😔 it’s really sad. I cried too
Speaking from past experiences with parents and coaches, emotional abuse creates scars that’ll never go away!
your experience proves that they will never go away? lol
He and his dad will never have a close relationship, Jayson is just being honorable and respectful 🙏🏽
@@choclatgal1Bingo!
This made me cry… I’m
Happy he’s successful now and he has a loving relationship with his son
What a relief that Jayson is able to overcome his traumatic relationship with his father and model a more wholesome, loving, and balanced parental bond with his son, Deuce, who adores him.
It's not healthy to treat a kid like that, it can lead to a psychological issues, whether it be education or sport.
🤷🏽♂️🤷🏽♂️ don’t do it to your kids then
@lionstruth8937Tatum isn’t an isolated example. That type of teaching can have negative effects
👏🏾👏🏾
Bro a person Gonna be the person they Choose to be regardless of what you teach them.
Mjs dad was NOTHING like MJ and MJ became a DAWGGG
@@gothamtyler not true
Hugs to JT, that must've been tough going through all that. He is an amazing young man and a wonderful father. Sometimes you learn how not to be and that is just as valuable as learning how to be.
I grew up like this with my father never really had a relationship outside of sports but it made me make sure I’m close with my daughter and spending time creating a bond
Seems like his father couldn't accept his failures and tried to live vicariously through his son. Thankfully Jayson seems like a wonderful father.
yes and jaysom is in that position to be a great father and provide an amazing life because of Jayson's teachings. Jaysom's mom was also "tough" on him. amazing things happen when you push your child to excel
Sounds like Tatum is doing the same thing with Duece by being his son’s best friend since his father wasn’t his the way he wanted him to be.
I agree with what you’re saying but…. He is who he is today, because of his father. He wouldn’t be in the NBA today, without his father guidance. He needed someone to be rough on him. He is a wonderful father to his son, due to his own experiences with his father. His father just wanted to bring the best out of JT. What if he had an absentee father? Would JT be in the position he is today? That’s just his dad’s way of parenting, and getting the best out of his son. No one is perfect at parenting, we just learn from our parents and try to implement it in a better way. His dad knew what to say to make Jayson ball out, and it worked.
@@woodylucas that’s a damn ignorant statement. He pinned his son to a locker like a cliche bully and told jayson he wasn’t gonna make it. There’s a line he crossed he’s a father first not a coach
@@97NikeSb You sound silly that was nowhere close to a ignorant statement.
Very proud of this young black man - so mature and grounded.
Umm…
@@strikingitrich7630 yea bro idk...
@@strikingitrich7630what?
@@FifteenRavens Umm…
@@strikingitrich7630 ummm what? Is there a problem?
He needed this release of those childhood demons. He needed this therapy. I pray that his father and him can restore and restart for that father/son relationship he so needs.
I wish people could see that a person can certainly reach amazing heights without any trauma and abuse. All experiences aren’t necessary but I think it’s a defense mechanism when people say they wouldn’t trade a poor experience such as a abuse.
Especially when it comes at the expense of a father son relationship. Causing your child that trauma is never okay.
False. You can NOT reach greatness without a hard hand. Joe Jackson and Michael Jackson, CL Franklin and Aretha Franklin, Richard Williams and Serena/Venus, Earl Woods and Tiger Woods. Phil and Shaq, James Jordan & Michael Jordan. All great. All ruthlessly strict demanding fathers. You need insanity to become great and each of those BLACK FATHERS gave it to their son. These type videos try to tear down black fathers. Ain't falling for it. You shouldn't either.
@@DrAlexanderHamilton ???? parenting styles derived from trying to survive under slavery is what caused this trauma in the first place. success does not negate poor mental health. You don't need to be insane to be great
@@Seitex2004 you're flat out wrong. I'm not talking about good. I'm talking about great. Greatness takes insanity and unless you're great at something, you wouldn't know. I am great. What I have achieved giving my background is flat out astonishing and I had similar parenting and every other great person I've met have similar stories...and it's not just black people. Indians, Asians, Nigerians, and many Carribean parents are notoriously hard on their children as you have to be to prepare them for a ruthless world. Children that grow up soft are not prepared for what this ruthless world will throw at them. Yale Law professor Amy Chua, an Asian America wrote the same thing about how hard she was on her children and how great they became great. I can't remember the name of the book about all the top folks on Wall Street and in silicone valley, but they all came from households with ruthless parenting. Steve Jobs of Apple, Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook, Elon Musk of PAYPAL MAFIA/Tesla/Space X, Larry Ellison of Oracle, Marc Benioff of Salesfore. All great. All had strict overbearing ruthless parenting. Jayson Tatutm would not be in the NBA if his father wasn't that ruthless. Michael Jackson admitted he would have never become the King of Pop without the ruthless parenting of Joe Jackson. Serena & Venus have always said that they wouldn't be at the top of the tennis world without Richard Williams' ruthless parenting. Michael Jordan talked about his father and older brother making him play in the cold rain and how he wouldn't be where he is at the top of the basketball and sports world without ruthless parenting. Tiger Woods has talked ad nausem about how harsh Earl Woods was on him as a child. ALL GOATS. Oh and just google the parenting stories of Roger Feder, Nadal, Djokoviv, Naomi Osaka and Coco Gauf. I could go on and on. All came from ruthless parenting. You might be less strict on your children and they might end up good, but they will never be GREAT.
For a greater understanding on this topic, please read "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" by Amy Chua, which is about ruthless parenting.
p.s. look at the next video titled "Jayson Tatum: Coach K's "soft a$$ St. Louis kid" tantrum." Coach K at Duke was equally ruthless, but Jayson Tatum was adequately prepared to handle Coach K b/c of how hard his father was on it. Great parenting.
Not many people reach those heights without trauma. Trauma motivates people
I'm glad Jayson seems like he is trying to be the best dad and emotionally present for Deuce, it takes a lot of courage and maturity to say "I'm gonna be to my children what I never had in life".
Facts!! Instead of repeating the cycle of abuse
That's what his dad was to him.
He just doesn't see it now.
His father was a high school gym teacher. Yet he taught him basketball all the time.
Jayson now has the money and time to chill with his kid.
@@OedipusSimplexyeaaa, see I had a life similar to JT. My dad didnt have his but he didnt carry the emotional abuse he received from my grandma either so its a double edged sword 🤷🏾♂️. Yea JT respects his pops, so I mean he had to understand but they'll never be close like JT and duece.
@@terrence6786
Did your dad spend his time away from work teaching you basketball?
In this same interview he tells how Coach K at Duke behaved similarly as his dad.
How many of those friends of his whose fathers took them to parks or fishing are in his position now?
Without his Dad, JT would have been even more soft. Coach K could see it too. At least the bullying was limited to just basketball.
You wanted his gym teacher father to be taking him to work as he does Deuce?
Let see if Deuce will be a baller like him or just a trust fund nepo baby?
@@OedipusSimplex Yes, my father actually took time from driving 10-12 hours (CDL) to come teach me basics about baseball AND football. Now those friends whom your aking about, majority of people, that would include you if you wanted to play professional sports, should already understand that would require many things other than just how you were raised! JT Moms also gave him tough love... so he wouldnt have been soft, now a man? thats a different story. All Im saying is tough love is fine, hell both of mines whooped my ass growing up but they also expressed love to me, something that JT expresses that he miss or wish he got to experience AS WELL AS the tough love.
Seems like a very down to earth superstar. You don’t see this vulnerability often with athletes.
There will be people who will watch this and feel as though his father's abuse was justified because of Jason's success. His father abused him and to many people believe this is the way to go. I come across to many cases where adults are traumatized by their childhood.
exactly like they're missing the point..
@@Seitex2004 I agree with you.
it was justified
@@Seitex2004 what point
@Lions Truth No, his father is an abuser. Simple
4:46 he closed his eyes as to relive the moment, poor baby
I'd rather have my child not be a professional athlete if it had to come at the cost of not having a loving relationship with them. I find that kind of parenting gross. So happy Jayson can give Deuce what he never had. Jayson is an amazing father!!
And Justin gave Jayson something he never had . Each generation is supposed be better than the next
@@antem1983 good point
How is it not loving?
Your own father teaching you basketball 247365 is loving.
He just needed to cut out the bullying.
Tatum Sr was preventing his son from being mediocre as he was.
Now he is a champion after losing. He is resilient.
I can guarantee you Jayson's friend's who never made it wish their dad spent that much time teaching them a craft than the occasional park trips.
Sometimes kids see things in other households from outside in and wish they had that.
@@OedipusSimplexexactly I wonder where all the kids who dads took them to the amusement parks and fishing are compared to Jayson
@@gabexyzofficial8307
They are not about to sign a $300 million 5 years deal to play basketball.
Jayson Tatum is a softie. Coach K at Duke told him so too. Without his Dad he would have been so soft as to even succeed as he is doing.
Yeah he actually cried talking about it when he talked to Sage Steele, it’s very sad. I hope he gets the healing he deserves
No wonder he’s so reserved and quiet fathers are extremely important in building your self esteem
Whew what he said at the end about wanting his son to be his best friend got me 😢❤
That explains why he is the way he is with his own son❤
Great point. Break that cycle.
Tatum has a certain vibe to him that I now understand.
Many men use the excuse that they didn't have a father so they don't know how to be one and abandoned their duties. Good for him ending that BS excuse 👏
My dad is very rough on me but I turned out well.
His dad was rough, but at least he was somewhat around lol. It's actually not an excuse, its a real cycle of pain
His father didn’t abandon him
My husband grew up in AAU and this story is very common. We saw many father/son relationships ruined bc of the trainer/coach dad.
We even saw one of our friends refuse to attend his fathers funeral bc of the damage the coaching by his father did to their relationship.
Seen it happen with my cousin recently too. Pushing him hard pushed him away
Hurt people tend to hurt people. It's difficult for a man whose father wasn't present to have an idea as to how to raise a child. Some may be inspired to bring up their child in a way that they which they had growing up and some tend to continue the cycle. It sucks that his father was hard on him but in the same sense he's grateful because that sense of disdain that he thought his father had towards him made him one of the top 5 young players in the NBA today and I'm sure it's one of the reasons why he is such a great father figure for his son Duece.
michael jordans father was a good dad always uplifting and supportive and positive
Probably because Micheal wasn’t soft and he’s dad never had to worry about him not being able to stand for himself
Lmao this is complete crap. MJ would get massively depressed and psycho because his father would berate him for not being as helpful as his eldest brother
Not so fast. Mike's dad was abusive.
@@wym348That's false, he was actually pushed by his brother. And his family was really competitive.
@@goodymob9638Nope, he got it right. His father would ask him to hand him a specific tool and MJ would come back with something else. His dad told him to go away, you're never going to amount to anything. I'm paraphrasing, of course. Do some research chief.
This type of abuse is horrible but that pressure can create diamonds. Ichiro Suzuki famously doesn't talk to his father due to his abusive and obsessive baseball training since early childhood - but he became one of the greatest ever and his father has a shrine of his accomplishments even though they don't speak. Tiger Woods' father is another great example.
Interesting never knew that bout Ichiro,serena and venus Williams father good example as well,it can also backfire todd & marv marinavich come to mind
Yeah but look at steph curry, Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan, Lewis Hamilton. There is no valid reason why your own child should ever feel like you literally do not even like them as a person. That’s just dumb and people like that die alone
On some joe jackson shit
Similar for Nyjah Huston
Would you choose the path if you received EVERYTHING YOU WANTED IN LIFE BECAUSE OF IT.
This warms my heart, @85 my Dad is one of my best friends. Jason seems like he's got the right idea. I'm still trying to be the best father to my own , even in their 20's. The early years are golden, wish him the best.
This just reminds me to let my kids be kids. Yes, I want them to succeed, and there's a certain level they may not reach without being pushed, but I don't want them to ever feel like I don't like them.
JT's dad was doing the best that he could with as much information that he had at the time. We know better now so we should be wise with the approach we take with our kids in any field that they want or that we want them to pursue
100% wholeheartedly agree
Wrong, his dad was unhappy with himself living through his son, they aren't close Jayson is being a respectful son that's all
Parents living vicariously through thru their kids is wack but happens a lot !!! 🙏🏼👊🏼congrats JT they did the best they could
I’ve learned the father son lessons become more valuable later in life.
Yeah that inner voice turns into your dad when ish gets real
A kid still needs a childhood, you should be able to experience everything in life.
Imagine having to question yourself on if your own father like you or not that’s crazy and sad honestly 😭
His father made him a 300M dollars man.😮😅😅😅
@@HamBar-iz7zxmoney isn’t everything. You people are soulless. Asking if your father liked you? Smh.
Proud of Jayson!!! He has a great relationship with his son❤️
This is an instance where the traumatic coaching "worked " in that he got to the NBA. Can't imagine all of the similar stories in which the kid doesn't make it. Just left with traumatic experiences and broken relationship with fathers.
I understand. It was obvious my mother didn’t like me. While the way she treated me pushed me to succeed, prove her wrong and be a great mother to my own child…her mean treatment towards me created scars that will never go away. I suffered from low self esteem for years and still to this day struggle with my self confidence that I have to manage. So you’re not doing your kids any favors by demeaning them. People looking from the outside may think you’re so successful but no one knows the pain on the inside of you that you never talk about. I swore I would never be like my mother and I’m not. I forgave her but to this day don’t have the type of relationship I would want with a parent.
❤🙏🏾
Jayson is amazing for overcoming what he has in his life to succeed and give his family and himself a better life. I do hope he is able to process all the different ways his childhood relationship with his father has effected his own well-being and relationships with others as an adult. That can be very difficult.
There has to be a HAPPY Medium. Your Child has to know you love him. As a kid you don't understand why your parents do what they do, but once you are a parent, never forget when you were a kid
what an intimate and amazing interview
Grew up and became an great basketball and a great father to his son I respect it. It hard to make your parents happy the way you want them to be in general no matter what it is
I wouldnt be surprised if his father low key envy Tatum. It be the one's closest to you. Once I really sat back and thought about my upbringing it really opened my eyes as to who genuinely cared for me and who didn't.
Why would his father be jealous of his son?
Jeez, no matter how bad I want my little man to succeed in life I could never treat him like that
Goddamn right.
He will get a lot of healing from his relationship w his son ❤️ the things he didn't have w his dad , he can have w his son
Father sounds like Joe Jackson
Thank God he's a better man than his father were, there is no excuse for the way he treated him, he's so close to Deuce 🙏🏽 .
Holy shit... This is incredibly traumatic.. I hope JT has a good therapist in his life to help him sort through this child abuse..
Look at Tatum man, so inspirational🙌🏻💚🤍
Jayson made it this far and he’s so talented there’s no ceiling to his success but I hope all parents know that this isn’t necessary. You don’t have to torture your kid for them to be great.
I was watching this interview on Television on New Years Eve Day. I found it on UA-cam so I could post my 2cents in. I felt Jason's Emotional Vibration when he was speaking Candidly about his family's and boyhood struggles, like when the Preppy kids told him that his chances of being an NBA Star were not realistic and he cried because they were laughing at him and he truly believed in his heart that, that's what he was going to be. I can relate to being laughed at. It hurts when people don't have faith in your ambitious dreams and goals. His Mom really said the right thing about never forgetting that moment and sticking to his dreams! I hope that he can achieve a championship someday. (Even though I'm a Heat Fan). I follow certain Players and Jason Tatum has a lot of Court Presence and makes an impact on the Games Outcome for sure. Good luck Jason.
This is beautiful man, Jayson is opening up and clearly it’s therapeutic for him 🙏🏾
Fortunately some dads are not conditioned to give a Fathers Blessing to there sons. The right words and positive encouragement will change a mans trajectory forever!! Good for Tatum he used it for good and proved he made it.
We needed him last year in the Finals!!!
Exactly. His dad needed to throw the bal at his ass when they quit after game 4
I live in Australia and his dad coaches here in the NBL. He took over midway through the season after they fired their original coach. They were dead last when he took over and now they’re coming 4th. He is now running for coach of the year.
And Jayson is now a champ.
He would have been a softie without his dad.
@@OedipusSimplexhis dad didn’t do ish. When jayson was without lights. And water where was his dad ? He wasn’t putting food on the table. Brandy worked tirelessly to provide. But sure dad show up for basketball. Smh. Father is a bum
@@audreyloire3131and I’m sure that mother goddess figure you’re praising had no impact on that situation getting to where it was…. I’m 100% sure she didn’t ostracize the father from the situation for not capitulating to her desires….
Life is not black and white everything lives in the shades of grey
@@audreyloire3131
His father was in the same shoes as his mother both being teen parents.
Where did you want him to get money from?
He was in college playing basketball without pay.
When he started playing basketball professionally in the Netherlands he would fly both of them to see him.
He came back and became a gym teacher and taking care of his son's and other children's sport's education.
Spending afternoons and weekends with his son. What a bum!
The *ONLY* reason you are able to watch this video is because Justin Tatum taught his son basketball.
Delusional fatherless woman.
WOW. This immediately reminded me of Roy Jones Jr's dad who would taunt Roy in training and make him fight bigger kids. he said they don’t talk anymore
What? Jay, man you really strong. Lots respect.
I feel bad for JT. Even if ppl might think that he wouldn't be successful without a tough father is hard to grow up in a environment like that.
My dad was very hard on me too and I do resent many things so I can relate to him.
The good thing is that he wants to raise his kid in a total opposite way! What a nice guy!
Seen a few cases like this close up. A lot of these kids don't become Tatum, Woods, Jackson, etc. They just suffer.
i hope he has healed and it's good to see him learn from his past trauma and want to do better with deuce!
Black parents confuse tough love with abuse it's heartbreaking
Agreed- happens way too often and if the child is successful it's DESPITE that kind of treatment, not because of it.
Trauma passed down
While this may be true in this instance. This is not relegated to black parents. We have a bad habit of believing all trauma based behavior only resides in the black community. Again, not to excuse any behavior because another community may do it also, but the fact is this behavior occurs very often outside of our community as well.
@@Dharp06 you're right about that
white parents can too
You could say he went through the rough times as a child that prepared him for all this fame and success
This goes back to Joe Jackson when he was tough on his kids just cause he wanted them to make it and they did. You wanna be the best, sacrifices have to be made in your life. For me I missed out on that father in my life fortunately. I grow up without one and I can say today at 36 that he may not have been his fault. I blame the system and my mom has fault in it too. But that’s the hardest part of growing up for me and being a man. I don’t know how to because I have no father in my life so I can only go on other peoples experience.
Seems like tough love he still loved JT but was so tunnel vision on seeing him succeed, he made him feel like shit more than he lifted him up . Glad he's being a great father breaking the cycle his last 2 generations or maybe more have repeated
Amazing. Would have never thought that about JT dad! Was always at tourneys supporting him
If this ain't make his dad cry ...
Very sad, glad he turned out well.
It could have gone horribly wrong in the other direction.
His father knew how to push his limits. I know a lot of people can’t handle that but look who Jason Tatum is today. He’s a superstar, but I also get that abuse can lease to mental health issues so that’s the downside to being too hard on kids.
This was very sad to hear :/
Jayson’s dad was mine. Got a baseball bat thrown at me and was then called a pussy right after. That coaching/parenting does not work. I will have psychological damage for the rest of my life bc of the way he treated me, and just hearing Tatum speak shows that he continually deals with his trauma to this day, too.
Jayson is incredibly accomplished, but I can guarantee u he would’ve been just as accomplished without the emotional abuse. He’s got way too much talent, skill, and intellect. His dad didn’t need to do this shit
I knew there was a back story to this kid they all have a story the greats and potential greats have stories that sums up there style of play and love for the game,Tatum is real conscious when he’s out on the floor Surveying the tempo to be exact so he could get to his spots and kill from there but from my understanding and these stories (Even the one with Coach K)Tatum had his best results when someone questions his heart and love for the game he clearly takes it personal when somebody says he soft and that shit makes his game Unconscious when he’s feeling like that,When he learns how to switch that unconsciousness on Any time he wants then he officially in his prime he still think too much out there a prime Tatum is Gonna be a straight killer and the best scorer of his Era america
People are sleeping on Tatum hard. It's going to be funny when all the people praise the dude after shitting on him during the finals
That adversarial relationship is set by so many black fathers trying to be strong disciplinarians. It works, but at the cost of a close relationship. Me and my father will never be close because I grew up seeing him as an enemy and oppressor. I totally withdrew from all unnecessary interactions just to stay out of trouble. I wanted to be like my big brother, I saw him as my protector. That overly harsh parenting is as much a mistake as the overly permissive parenting. But, my dad didn’t have a dad, so he was doing better than he had ever seen demonstrated in his life.
I love Jt man his dad was tough on him sure but in return it made him a monster I see why he’s so close to deuce now
People always complaining about their father's, at least he was there, my father was never there
I hope he will be with my beloved Celtics for life 🙏 💙 ❤️.
This is a cold ass world we live in. His father raised him to be a lion and without pain there is no growth. People in the comments may try to discredit his father but look at the outcome of fathers who were “hard” on their sons; Michael Jackson, prince, Tom Brady, Peyton Manning. There’s no perfect way of parenting but sometimes there is an invisible sacrifice on both ends for greatness. Could there have been a better way of parenting? Sure but look at Jayson Tatums wealth and success in comparison to his counterparts. His father payed for him to go to a private school and tried his hardest of what he knew to raise him. Life isn’t perfect
My father was the same and I love him even more now than before … it’s hard raising a black man in a world that made for him to be mediocre especially as a father that wants his son to succeed …
What is wrong with these people saying his dad did his job? It's not a father's job to humiliate your child and possibly scar them for life and only be around when basketball is involved. Jason talked about how he had to get food from neighbors when he was hungry. Where was his dad then? Aren't they supposed to provide? This parenting technique is horrible. Yall who agree with his dad, I hope yall never have kids.
Yeah it is if most black had a dad like him we all be Successful
Dad’s are hard. They’re job isn’t to like us. Their job is to prepare us for the world. Like and love aren’t the same.
You can like your kid and still prepare them for the world
@ You can love them and prepare them for the world too. Nothing wrong w/tough love as long as he not beating the kid.
Now it makes sense why him and his son are so close
I wish this conversation was held with a marriage and family therapist, not on such a large platform. This man has wounds that need to heal with the proper professionals.
He basically went through a form of child abuse. So sad. It made him who he is, but I know that having a loving and supportive father, he still could’ve went pro 😢
This is very relatable as a father of 5 & who Never met his biological dad
His dad was my coach as well and we played for the same aau org I watched him grow up. His dad wasn’t as bad as they make him seem and I hate to see how he is treated in the media. His dad was a hard ass on all of us even if you didn’t play for him he was tough but it’s cause he wanted to make people better. They pushing this fatherless narrative and his dad was always there
Thank you
A Dad can be there BUT if he is abusive, what's the use ????
@@BeautifulDove-i7u he wouldn’t be a pro without his dad being tough on him where we from it’s plenty of good hoopers but the environment takes their dreams his dad wasn’t letting that shit happen dude was there and coached and raised him
I get trying to push your son to be better but his dad took it too far.
My mother was on drugs as a baby i was adopted by my grandmother…my father was alive and id see him once every blue moon where he’d give me $40…my mother would visit similarly(shes been clean for aslong as ive been alive) but long story short my gma raised me….i grew up and im 35 now but that crazy thing is i grew up not being able call someone mom or dad !!!! That eats at me alot as an adult. I feel cheated out of something.
Man this a whole therapy session. 😢 I’m glad he’s able to make lemonade out of lemons.
His father was living through him...there i said it
You’re a champion now so it all payed off
Aawwwwww Jayson my heart. This makes
me like him even more 💚
Your kids shouldn't ever wonder if you like them. There should be a balance between discipline and love. Sorry Jason that you missed having a dad, and sorry that your father missed it as well. I pray that you can find that balance with your children ❤
Amazing how ubiquitous wand give what u didn’t get Jayson 🙏🏻 blessing sir
He wanted his son to be the greatest, to do everything he didn't, to accomplish everything that he couldnt, to live a better life than he did. It's no excuse for his treatment, and we don't like how he did it & it might have ultimately ruined his relationship with son...but in his dad's eyes it worked because look at him now. Unless you intentionally learn how to stop the cycle, you will only show love in the ways its been given to you, which is what it looks like his father did with him, but Jayson Tatum is making an intentional effort to break that cycle & be a better dad to his son, not everyone is strong enough to do that. Kudos to him👏🏼👏🏼❤
In the sports community I see this happen alot growing up where the father and son going to all the tournaments and workouts being hard on them at the same time. At the end of the day it's for the good in most cases
The way your raising DEUCE is amazing.
People dont understand how hard it is to be a father /athlete and to raise an athletic son. As the the Father/athlete you already know what it takes to be at a certain level an you are trying so hard to give your son these lessons and teachings and it becomes hard to separate the athletic teachings and the fatherly teachings
His father only cared about sports. He did nothing else. Did not provide. Jay’s on speaks about how hard it was
@@audreyloire3131he provided the life that Tatum has now.
@@audreyloire3131 he provided the life that he has right now
@@tygur23tatum would tell you his mom is equally responsible. Who paid for all of those prep schools and basket camps. It was not this father. Not one dime. Aau was funded entirely by mom. All while going to school herself. His father is repeated the same mistakes with his second son. U guys like to credit these losers while the adult children finally tell you about the trauma.
@@audreyloire3131 so you know the financial inner workings of this family glad you were their can you provide receipts of what was and wasn't paid for by his father.