Huge thanks to the women who came to talk to us about beauty culture and how it plays out in their lives: Mona, Emma, Nina, Rihma, and Arlinda. What words would you most like people to use when they describe you? We’d love to hear in the comments. Keep an eye out for new, free episodes of Glad You Asked every Wednesday. And don't forget to subscribe to our channel and turn on notifications (🔔) to get more Vox videos: bit.ly/voxyoutube -Cleo and Joss
The beauty industry is preying on women's insecurities to make a fortune, and it works so well that some women think spending several hundred bucks on products they rarely use up is somehow emancipating and liberating.
We should also stop saying things like "Everyone deserves to feel beautiful". It strengthens the idea that it's the most important quality to have, that you have a right to it. No one does. Be a person 1st.
Sometimes I like to look at people like i look at art. I'm fascinated by their shapes, the way they move, the way they talk. I'm fascinated by their differences, by their strangenes and little blemishes. Thinking people have to look perfect is the same mistake as thinking art has to be perfect. Because that's not what makes it beautiful. It only becomes beautifull by its uniqueness and its character.
turanga leela that’s a lovely statement! I wish we could see ourselves in that manner rather than with harsh judgement and with such an unnecessary level of scrutiny.
The fact that I see 12 year olds at my school wearing a lot of makeup really says something about the pressure we have to look perfect everyday. I mean even kids think of makeup as an essential.
How about the fact that the amount of 13-14 year old boys using steroids has increased like 30 % the last 5 years? That is boys version of body pressure... Because of super hero actors with perfect bodies in movies
I wish looks didn't matter, or that simply a walking around with a paper bag on would become fashion so I could wear one and feel more comfortable about myself
This is why i hate those sayings like "everyone's beautiful" Like...Who cares? Not everyone is a super model. And thats ok...Let's start judging people on their actual character and not things they have no control over.
afonsords wellll.. what is considered beautiful is highly moldable by the surrounding society/environment and standards set within that. The “supermodels” of today wouldn’t have been considered the epitome of beauty a few hundred years ago, nor do different cultures have the same beauty ideals.
YES! When people do photo shoots in bikinis with cellulite to show that they have cellulite and are still beautiful I think, BUUUUT you're still defining yourself by beauty! Your body isn't that important! Your looks aren't that important!
I don't think feeling beautiful is a bad thing, because when someone compliments your appearance... it feels good. But like the video says at the end, we just need to talk about appearance LESS. So I agree with the second part of your comment.
Exactly, intelligence and character are built over time and take hard work. External physical beauty is inherited. No one's ever had to work for that. Somehow, appearances are complimented first, if not only.
I hate that it all revolves around beauty and body standards, because even for me as a 20 year old guy, I feel not good enough. Like my jaw isnt defined enough, my neck is too thick, my arms are too skinny, I'm not skinny enough. Over the years I've found it harder to accept other people with things that I cant accept within myself because of these standards. It is a really a toxic and awful thing.
I find myself doing the same thing. It's very strange. It's almost like to be "pretty" you have to check off a list of boxes and if you don't then you're not. I'm coming to realize that is not true, and never was. But also that pretty is not what matters the most
As soon as I started looking at my body for what it does (I can talk, walk, see, create, think etc), instead of what it looks like, I started feeling better. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that, but I'm a lot more confident. Hopefully you find a way to love your body too. Humans didn't evolve to look pretty. We evolved to survive. Wish you all the best, stranger ❤️
The fact that you're recognizing that is great, bc that means you can try to adjust how your view yourself and others. It won't be easy; especially with social media and beauty standards in your face all the time. I hope you learn to accept yourself! We all have wonderful qualities within us! For myself, I quit doing social media. I found it to be toxic and I wasted too much time on it. I try to have the idgf attitude about how I'm viewed. Take me or leave me; flaws and all.
I remember a few years ago, when I told a classmate of mine that I wasn't into makeup and didn't apply any and she said I was backwards and that people like me were the reason women were still oppressed... Let's just say I was glad when she dropped out of my course and I didn't ever have to interact with her again. The real problem, is women pulling down other women for not fitting their idea of "how" a woman "should" be.
You're awesome for not falling for such negativity. I also don't wear makeup at all. Not even powder. I feel sorry for all those oppressed women who are insecure of going out without makeup :D
I think it can be other women, men, religion or society that oppresses. Not wearing make up is being free of oppression; provided you are choosing not to wear it because YOU don't want to wear it. Conversely, choosing to wear make up is also liberating if that is YOUR choice. As long as you feel free, happy and confident. 💛💛
@@KitC916 not rly, bc most of the time women are cruel out of jealousy or their on insecurity or to establish some form of dominance over you, it serves a social purpose. when men are cruel they can deliver a finishing blow to us. and they know it.
I love make up but I hate the weird pressure to do it in a certain way. I like experimenting and it’s annoying that theirs a weird judgement if you don’t do it in a certain accepted way...
Pinky Saints I love that makeup is whatever you want it to be, Some days I’m full glam, others it’s lightly filled brows, a touch of high lighter, and mascara. I definitely don’t feel pressure to wear makeup, I just really enjoy the act of doing it, it’s an escape from adulting for me as a wife/mother of 3 kiddos. I think however you want to apply it should be what makes you feel good ☺️
Pinky Saints my sister's bullied me for my unibrow when I was small, and after a few years of plucking them waaay too far apart they've grown back closer, and I now use makeup to give myself a unibrow during derby bouts. The look on their face when they first saw my warrior face made me feel so powerful, I love that makeup allows the parts of you to shine that were once dulled by years of doubt.
I used to not be able to leave the house without filling out my eyebrows. I thought I looked hideous with my sparse brows. My bf told me to stop. He said I look good w/o trying to do the most to my face. I never believed him and I never saw what he did. Until I chose to stop. I went bare faced everywhere with my acne hyperpigmentation and sparse eyebrows. I feel A LOT more confident with myself now. I hate the hyperpigmentation scarring on my face, but I know one day I'll no longer deal with them. I have one face and one body. I'm loving the face and body I'm in. Finally.
We women should listen more to our boyfriends, sometimes they really mean that we are more beautiful without make up and for some reason I never believed my boyfriend.
How do you deal with hyperpigmentation and scars ? I am really trying too but I can't love them, it never fades. I would like to feel that I am more than that. My boyfriend doesn't help or get the beauty pressure on us. It's expected
Lisa I'm currently using a salicylic acid face wash and moisturizer. Theyve helped my breakouts go from four every two days to none at all. Also, sunscreen during the day.
Mili Aurora they have to be perfect Asian women skinny 49 kg is too much lower is better also surgery of any kind is good white skin is beautiful it’s really sad but that’s their culture and we should respect it
This reminds me of something that my mom said when I was in Highschool, but that has always stuck with me (even now 20 years later): "When you like or love a woman it's ok to tell her that she's beautiful, to compliment her appearance, but don't say it TOO much. It's eventually going to fade and if that's the basis of why she feels valued by you then she will feel less valuable over time. Make sure to let her know that you love all of her. Ok Kiddo."
I didn’t realise how often I perpetrate these expectations on females when complimenting them and I realised how little I took the time to complete other values which are just as important
if you hate the small lines you have beside your nose, remember that they’re there because of all of the beautiful smiles you had. if you hate the wrinkles under your eyes, remember all the laughs and happiness that caused them. i have a surgical scar on my neck which is very visible but i’ve never hated it. everytime i see it it reminds me that i’ve survived a deadly disease and i am beautiful and strong. i hope every female or male reading this finds love in themselves.
Thank you for your comments. It's really a comfort to me. I feel that I am not pretty and don't have confidence on my appearance. Your comments give me a different way to think about what beauty is.
Men also have to share and put on several things in order to be 'professional'. How comfortable do you think a tie is? And being professional can't all be your actions. It's also how you present yourself on the outside.
@5,ooo LightYears Away I agree, although I don't think men should be expected to shave their faces. I think as long as you are clean and wearing appropriate clothing you should be considered "professional" and "groomed"
I feel there's so much pressure to compliment women on their looks. Men feel so because they think that women are looking for it, and women do it because they think that is all men see in them. A vicious cycle.
ask women if the preferí Slim ir Strong arma, hair ir not hair on your head, tall or small than them. They do the sale presure to us. They always chose, dont worry about that.
I think it varies on where you are. I literally never want a man I work with or a man I don't know to compliment me on how I look. And I don't know any women who do.
@Recovering PickMeiShah 2020 You're saying you're not wearing make up for men, but because you are disgusted by your own face? Something sounds even more wrong...
"Honey you look tired today!" "Sure. I am overworked, I couldn't grab breakfast or sleep just so I could meet deadlines that pay me to buy more make-up"
See, you would only look tired if you’re usually presented with makeup or met said person with makeup on. If you never wore makeup nobody would have that comment. Same goes for when people that usually wear glasses take off their glasses
@@blankstatement1 unfortunately then people compare those women to those that do wear makeup, even if they don't verbalize it, society is trained to view makeup as their normal appearance
@@blankstatement1 yes v true but once you start wearing it I feel like I just can't stop now. I'm more me with make up than without.. Probably because I have it on my face more than I don't.. Sad I know
Thank you. People don't get it when I try to explain this. Everyone acts like a woman "doesn't take care of herself" or has basically just given up on life if she doesn't place enough emphasis on her a appearance, by their standards
Thats because men value beauty in women. Whereas women value other things in men. Men work hard to be a well rounded person in order to live up to certain standards. What I'm saying is that men work just as hard and harder to be competitive, just in different areas. It's much easier to put makeup on and put some time into appearance than working your way up career-wise and simply being a moral/honest person.
It should be noted that in our society if you are not compliment physical appearance first it is a defacto insult. When you here "she is really smart" or "she has a great personality" What does that tell you about her appearance? Because, clearly, if that person was beautiful they would have lead with that. It is a sad, self amplifying, circle :( No one wins :/
I feel like it’s only like that in some situations. I feel like compliments about appearance are too easy to make which is why no one just casually compliments personality because you got to know more about a person than what you just see at first glance.
MySQL I think that’s changing a little, depending on who’s saying it. If I’m talking someone up (like I went on a first date or something) I would definitely lead with her personality and THEN mention her appearance. At least, as a young woman talking about other women, it’s becoming less common to talk about appearance first. Which I think is a good thing.
my friend's only ever compliment me on my physical appearance. it's kind of hurtful that everything else i can do isn't acknowledged. not that i expect them to compliment me or anything, i just wish everyone wasn't so focused on that sort of stuff.
We live in a society that teaches you that you're never enough. You have to be prettier, stronger, more successful, more resiliant, ... You just have to be better in every way. Never be yourself. And that's what makes me angry. It's okay to look different, to be different, to not be perfect. Everyone is unique and that's what makes them pretty. Be yourself! And be happy to be yourself! Don't let people tell you who you are and how you have to be.
Nina Hardi - um actually self improvement is pretty satisfying and many people benefit in the long run even if it’s kinda tiring (ex. A modelling career, atheltic career, more social confidence)
I have to say i disagree. Explain to me why more and more teenage boys down to 13-14 years old use steroids? Because of the perfect Marvel super heroes in their under armor tight shirts and muscles, because of series like love Island, because of movies like magic mike. Because body shaming and body standards hit meb just as much as women. The difference is mens mentality towards this compared to women. We don't speak out on this.
@@stuartburke6374 the topic was about beauty and how it's gendered to be a woman's most defining trait only. That isn't to say issues surrounding men, i.e. being physically fit, being financially stable or successful, being competitive in a lot of aspects, having material wealth, dominance in spaces, etc. aren't important. But the fact women discuss issues centered to women is a gateway to finally breaking down the traditions internalized to men as boys. Remember, most systems of power are made by men who are in positions of power. They know that men of certain ranks can only benefit them, whilst the women who are their wives or family are secondary. And what of men, women, children, etc. who are not from these circles? They have to apply what they think could bring them power. It's a class struggle and gendered one for a long time.
@@stuartburke6374 no, because in the end a man can makeup for almost any physical flaw with personality, always. maybe except height for some women (not across the board though) but for women it's always the physical. and that's so exhausting, you can be charming, funny, interesting, smart, intriguing, mysterious etc, but if you're not 'hot' it doesn't matter. that's why i'm so baffles when guys say they have it harder, like you can just get a good personality, respect people around and be funny and you'll succeed. even physically, if you're insecure, just going to the gym twice a week is enough. whereas women are expected to go under the knife or have some sort of procedure to change ourselves
Dear Vox Audience, Please pay attention to what the women hosts are saying in this video In the future leave a comment about content not their physical appearance Compliment their intelligence, worth ethic and so on!
@@purplewine7362 When as much emphasis is put upon femininity & our influences of a social/intellectual/leadership/other aspect? Then feel free. Until then? We are specifically graded for how 'F'-able we are. That's pretty messed up.
You LOVE yourself, then you go under a knife to change yourself. Sorry not self love, that's love contingent on what you can change. But if it helps people sleep at night, keep telling yourself that.
@@erindisney7263 If you're so desperate to change a part of yourself that you're willing to go under the knife for it, I don't think you're truly loving yourself.
I love how much research and time you put into these videos. Reading this many papers and making sense of them is a really tedious task. The way you present the results especially your narrative, is phenomenal
Naomi Wolf wrote The Beauty Myth in 1990. All that has changed in the 30 years since is that the boundaries of the "beautiful" have opened up, but beauty is still the main focus, for women, and also increasingly, for men. Companies have just expanded their customer base.
I just stopped reading women's magazines one day - and gradually started to feel better about myself. Never looked back. When I want skincare tips, I do a very target internet search for users who have tested a product.
I never really read them to begin with..but you see them in pretty much every waiting room so..but I at least knew that NO ONE looked like the models in those mags..not even the models.
Ever since I started doing skincare (to love my naked face), stopped focusing on makeup trends (and started using only concealer, blush, mascara and liner to create something that works on me) and quit social media, my self esteem has done nothing but go up.
*Instagram is not a social platform, its a platform of marketing products and intriguing people into buying products* Edited:- 1K people agree with it.
It is if you choose to. I have insta and I just follow meme and cat accounts, and friends of course. These dont affect my self esteem however, I do agree that today's society does pressure both men and women to look a certain way.
Полностью согласна с вами, поэтому я терпеть не могу инстаграмм, там никогда нет общения человеческого, это просто тупо сплошная реклама всего подряд, все что можно и нельзя продать
When i was 16, the skin on my right calve was burned by a silencer. The spot is still there and everytime i look at it, it reminds me of how brave and happy i was during my healing process irrespective of my physical condition, and i love the scar for reminding me everyday that I'm a strong and capable person. Ladies you are beautiful! Embrace your flaws❤
Honestly I don’t think the makeup tutorials make me feel more pressured to look beautiful. Although i do admit that it leads to consumerism because you are always being shown new products you feel you need.
@Belen Zamora Doesn't the fact that you feel the need to buy something equal to feeling pressured? It all depends on whether you are buying to own or buying to use said product, but still...
Quarantine has given me so much time to reflect on everything in my life, the biggest part being who I am as a person and how I see myself. At the end of the video, I was in tears because of how these women want to be valued beyond how society sees them superficially. I'm taking this as a reminder to value myself on the inside, my personality, how thoughtful and caring I am, how people say I brighten up their day. I will constantly and consciously appreciate myself and all the women around me. Spreading love to all the powerful women out here ❤️
I'm guilty of complementing other women on their appearance, but sometimes when I want to complement them on other things, I feel like I don't know them well enough yet, so I end up reverting to the appearance part.
I love your motivation! Try “I know I don’t know you very well, but I can already tell your energy lights up the room” or “I love your taste in music!” or “That was a really insightful perspective; thank you for sharing!” or “I love your sense of humor!” Hope these help. With practice, it’ll become second nature to compliment things that aren’t related to one’s appearance, don’t you worry 😊 Speaking from experience! I started like a year ago. And now I’ll only make a superficial compliment to someone I know very well and only if I like feel like it’s GOT to be said. Baby steps 😊
Exactly whenever someone points that out I say Well I’m sorry I didn’t get my beauty sleep last night I had to finish some essays and then work but thanks for pointing that out Karen I’m sure your 2 almost adult kids definitely don’t let you sleep at all
"Wow the one zit on my face isn't noticeable when left un-caked by foundation and flooded with studio lighting, I guess bEaUTy cULtuRe iS hUrTInG Us tHIs is *radical* bODy pOsiTiVity"- We Never Asked S1
Whenever i hear a friend saying she can’t go out of the house without make-up, even tho they’re reaaaally pretty, I tell them that it’s your face, you shouldn’t be ashamed of it.
You can't win really. Either people don't accept the way you look because you're not wearing makeup, or they don't accept you for wearing makeup because they don't think you should. I'll do what I want with my own face, thanks!
I like that the camera is constantly showing the backstages or the lights to indicate how much stuffs have been done behind the scenes to make the speaker look more likable
So glad I never got wrapped up in this. Feeling sorry for everyone who feels not beautiful. You are a true beauty even though you sometimes can't see it
Love how emotionally intelligent all the people were in this video. Being able to accept some privileges you have is so tough and then to critique them? Amazing!
My girlfriend has pimples on her face, she used to to hide them with makup. Over last 7 years I've told her that I love her even more when she's without cosmetics so many times that now her confidence has reached a level where she can go on World tour in PJs.😁
@Brina Owens First of all, I've never pressured her, ever, for anything. And now that you say that it makes me think that there were many other factors which made her more confident about her appearance, I was one of those factors, a major one nevertheless. Thank you for your reply. Would love to know if you have any other input.
@@jayc342009 somehow true (--like the comment above). And that also makes me angry, that we're so accustomed to the conveniences and forget about the facts of where conveniences come from
@fdfc rfdd women have many advantages , shorter prison sentences for the same crime, less likely to be convicted, encouraged to show emotions, get way more emotional support, many special programs in place, more funding than men given to women from the government...I could go on. Men have their advantages too but it seems only men are called out.
@@blukeyify I wouldn't just wrap it up like that, since tons of men are just masking their real thoughts and emotions by falsely "toughen up" themselves when they're hurt or scared or feel inferior -- which is exactly caring (too) much about social expectations and denying their human (or biochemical) side. I wouldn't say -lightly- that they tend to care less about social expectations nor it's easier.
When I was younger and started seeing my peer wear makeup, I made a decision to not make that normal after seeing a Superwoman video about makeup. She said one day she didn't wear makeup to work and she apologized, and then wondered "Why did I have to apologize about this? This is my face!" I only wear mascara on special occasions, like a concert or a dance. It's rare enough that people notice and comment when I do wear makeup. People are used to my non-makeupped face, and I'm glad about that.
I do the same. Setting a different normal from the start would just make things easier. But also, why do people care if or how regularly makeup is worn?
I think what they're calling "beauty sickness" is really just insecurity about ones looks, which happens because people are competitive, and we have a genetic, evolutionary need to be the "more beautiful" one. I don't mean to sound fatalistic. I like this video. I just don't think we'll ever decrease the value of beauty as a species. All we can do is redefine it, which happens naturally through cultural shifts.
So true..whats wrong with a guy wanting to take care of his personal hygiene? Even for something as simple as whitener for teeth..whats wrong with not wanting ghastly yellow teeth?
@@Kagamishoshi that's true, but because people are so obsessed with extra white teeth, if one has normal looking teeth, they seem more yellow than they really are
True. Men who do take part in it are seen as too feminine. But when they do not they are seen as the patriarchy and anti-progressive. You lose either way as a man. No one talks about this. Men can't be men anymore.
Once you start doing make up and skin care is when you start to notice your "imperfections" that you never notice before. And it would then make you look up for videos and buy more make up and skin care products. :(
Of course, companies that make these products create problems that don't exist. Since the economy revolves around supply and demand, either you respond to demand or create it. You trick people into thinking they need something, that's what tech companies do to convince you to buy the latest iPhone because you "need" it
@@Unknown-oh6ue This exactly, well said. Capitalism is not only destructive to basic necessities like education and healthcare, but is also highly counterproductive for luxury industries like beauty products.
Tile: is beauty culture hurti- Me: *Y E S* Edit: oh wow this is the first time I've actually gotten this many likes (o_O) you guys Actually have me *sHoOk* TF? 2.4k likes that's amazing~(´⊙ω⊙`)!thank you, I appreciate that👌💜💜💜
@@nisman.lo.desvivieron how come? ppl re wasting so much time, energy and money (for example: doing your nails once a month for 40 Euro is gonna be one thousand euro in three years spent on just nails ) on superficial things.. sure, the first impression matters. A little. But as you get to know someone, their personality and skill set (depends on context) becomes way, way more important. People should just look clean and "organized". No need to live up to lowkey ridiculous beauty standards that only a small percentage of people actually, naturally have....
I'm kinda real glad that I never felt the need to wear makeup (except for maybe graduation or something big but even then idc too much) I have a decent face so there's that but I see my friends who spend hours getting ready just to go to class or work and it just feels weird that women are expected to do all that before they can leave the house. I have a love/hate relationship with my weight instead I guess, I'm mostly ok with it but I'd like to lose a pants size or two so I can fit into the seats on my favourite roller coasters again. That's it, that's honestly my weight loss goal.
Make up is just cosmetic. Being in good shape from a good diet and exercise is actually healthy for you as opposed to drying up your face with make up.
I didnt know make up was such a big deal until recently, because here in south asia its really normal to see people with their natural skin. Makeup is not necessary to go out, like a lipstick is more than enough to go out and sometimes even that is not necessary
I believe that if you put your mind to it you can do it. I am not saying we should lose weight only for the beauty of it but more for having a healthy body.
I recommend everyone who's interested in this topic to read up on Michel Foucaults work on power. It details how power works on a micro-level and therfore conditions us to "govern" ourselves as individuals and to conform to social standards such as ideals of femininity and masculinity. I think his book "discipline and punish" would be a good start. Oddly enough this book is about how prisons work in modernity, but in it he also makes really good points about the structure of power itself and society as a whole.
Been a victim of that beauty trap and bought so makeup and skincare that I can’t even use up. My skin is not healthy and always breaking out because of using different products. Now I only have minimal skin care and makeup and my skin is better. For me, less is more is the key.
I remember when my an ex watched me put makeup on for the first time, when I was late getting ready for a movie. He didn’t gasp in horror at my natural face, lol, but he did say something that really disturbed me. I have a butterfly rash from Lupus and very dark circles, both genetically and from poor sleep due to pain, so I always try to cover my rash. I don’t own blush because even with concealer and a moderate foundation, it shines through. I was finishing my routine when I caught his expression. He looked... sad. I asked him what was wrong. “That’s just... the saddest thing. You don’t *need* that. You’re *you.* Just be you.” Now I tend to leave off concealer and foundation. I just do my brows, some eyeliner, a lip balm or matte lipstick, maybe eyeshadow if I want to sort of... be expressive. I don’t think I’d have gotten there as easily without the nudge. My skin is way better; most foundations broke me out at least on my forehead, which *never* breaks out when I’m not using makeup. My chin, the side of my cheek, maybe, but never my forehead. I often look feverish because of my rash, but... it’s not something I can get rid of, so I’d rather people become accustomed to it and not feel I have to wear makeup than feel I can’t stop because they’ll be weirded out by a seemingly new rash. Not since I’ve heard the words, “What else is there?” In regards to beauty being the standard by which you admire a woman, have I been as surprised and disturbed by a sentence. “That’s the saddest thing.”
Kitty Thanks for replying to let me know! It’s weird; I’ve sort of... carried that around with me for maybe ten years. It’s something I think of so often, but never really talk about. It’s one of the things I like best about UA-cam; it prompts memories and comments and conversations that remain only unused potential otherwise. Stay inspired. 😊
Them packing up their makeup is such a powerful moment, imo. For a moment you think it was provided by the studio, and then you realize, no, that’s their stuff.
Obviously it's always a pleasure to hear "you're pretty today" but I don't really care if someone finds that I look tired. I feel more important or glad when someone says "you're brillant, intelligent, creative, you can have positive actions other's life" (sorry if my sentences are not correct, english is not actually my native language)
I was a bit skeptical of the video and its message at the beginning, but the conclusion really encapsulates my feelings about the topic. Physical beauty should not the value we hold to the highest standard and you put this together so well, without dragging anyone down to bring your point across.
I love that they aren't trying to be extreme and tell people to act like these things beauty standards etc don't exist at all- no they didn't do that and I loved the solution they gave to try to look for other things in women other than just looks
i never thought about how i frequently compliment my friends on their eyeliner or makeup, but i very rarely, in comparison, compliment their character. amazing video, thank you.
When I look at other people, I always find something beautiful about them could be anything so I apply the same rules to me and when I catch myself in the mirror, home in sweats or dolled up I'm like oof don't i look good 😂 even if I'm trying to fix something like skin problem or hip dips I tell myself I look great now but imagine that confidence when I have accomplished my goal, I'll be unstoppable, that motivates me. As far as buying stuff goes I always find out a way or a product that doesn't costs much but gives me a similar result.
what a great mindset, and it's true there's always beauty in every person, some "flaw" that people find in themselves are actually beautiful and i hope the range of what's considered beautiful only increases in the future
8:35 "I see my boyfriend just fall out of bed and take a shower, and go to work. And when I watch him do that, I wonder not ' why can't I do that', but 'why does it feels so bad when I do that' " So true :"( Just a few times I went out from home without brows lined and felt really beautiful, and nothing could upset me about my appearance. Nothing except too-much-makeup smoothest-skin washed-in-perfume women snooping around in the mall. It is like you feel you're taking part in a competition you didn't sign to.
@11:43, is a very interesting statement. Thank you Cleo, Joss, and the rest of your team for making this video. As a man, videos like this really gives me a perspective I don't normally think about.
I got really sick a couple months ago and almost lost the muscle movements in half of my face. I'm slowly getting better, but it made me be really grateful for how I looked before. Please love your face, every face is a good and worthy face. Just appreciate it for what it is.
One of the best things I ever did was to 1) unfollow any beauty/makeup/fitness people on Instagram and 2) stop wearing makeup. It’s really hard to learn to love your natural self, and it can take a long time too. But once you do, you have confidence in yourself like never before :) I also only shave when I want to now rather than when I felt like I was expected to
Couldn’t agree with this more. Done exactly this and feel so much better. No make up besides lip gloss and crayon eyeliner, even at work. Skin is happy and I look younger. Plus less anxiety about looks and more mental capacity to focus on studies, passions and life
I worked in a beauty therapy place where they did lip fillers/ Botox/ facials and I all of a sudden felt super self conscious because I was exposed to what the industry considered to be problems. So I left and have felt totally comfortable in myself ever since!
The most meaningful 20:12 minutes of my day. And in India, it's worst cuz the skin whiting industry is going up and up. Basically, they are bleaching there skin .
@@divya084 nah, don't tell me white untanned people in the West are not taken seriously and pushed under the rug. White is like half the representation in American entertainment industry. Women like the K's go for tanning. And people are not shamed for it, maybe the red heads a lil. But definitely not a widely accepted idea. While here, Indian women are literally shamed and neglected for being darker. There is lil to no representation of darker women in bollywood and ad industry. Le deke ek Radhika Apte hi ha. You must have watched ads with Spineless B'wood actors in it, equating fairness to success. Outrageous for a country with more than half the population on the darker side of the Fair&lovely tone scale. Wouldn't you agree? For non-Indians wondering, yes, some years back, a fairness cream came with a skin tone scale which you could use to compare yours to. The whiter, the better was the idea obviously.
I've never been into makeup and beauty regimens cuz I'm more concerned about treating my eczema than covering it. And my husband was always supporting always making me feel beautiful...until... I got a new phone and took a selfie of my with our pup and sent it to him. He semd back "wow. You look really good in that pic? What did you do?" I felt great and told him "nothing". Then I realized the next day it was already set with a full beautifying filter, which I never used b4 cuz i dotn do Instagram or anything, and felt who do I need to impress. When I realized this it broke my heart. My husband might think I'm beautiful, but now I felt he just told what he felt i needed to hear. Dont know what's better, bit will never forget that nauseating realization.
Kristi Mosher your husband wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t find you beautiful, of course you are beautiful to him I’m sure in more ways than one. Please don’t let him commenting on how you looked with a filter traumatize you or let that hurt you. EVERYONE looks better with a filter, that’s what they are meant to do.... Perfect skin is for babies, we all have things we see in the mirror we don’t like. Life is too short to feel anything less than enough.
Im sorry but this is too dramatic and somehow why?! Ofc he finds you beautiful, he's your husband, he sees you everyday in all your forms, why would a filter affect you that much? It also happened to me and i just turn everything off and Thats it, i still who i am, beauty me. Sorry, but i feel sorry if you have to feel this way about urself
@@releynafraschla5189 I moved past it. It was a blip of a sensation. It's just something that was never an issue between us. Our connection is more than such superficial elements, it was the realization of what standards we have without paying attention to them. I was in a horrible place dealing with some traumatic stuff from my past, and was having problems with my self worth.
I don't care if they judge me anymore. I wasn't born to fulfil others expactations, this world has so much more to offer. Btw: If you have some confidence and a good hygiene, you will never be lack of people that are attracted to you. Beauty standards or not.
Being confident about yourself as a person in a capitalist society that is always telling you that you are not enough to make you consume more, is a political decision ✊
I disagree that it's a problem with capitalism in particular. Companies just abuse supply and demand by creating demand where it doesn't exist. If you can't sell a product, then make people believe they need it. If society accepted that these products are not necessary than companies would stop shoving their products in your face.
@@Unknown-oh6ue How are companies using their capital to generate artificial demand not a problem of capitalism? Capitalism's adverse impact on politics, societal attitudes, and environments are some of the biggest criticisms of the system. And yes of course society should learn to see the futility of these products, but it'd be much easier for people to accept that if these useless companies, and their predatory targeted marketing (especially towards the youth), weren't allowed to exist in the first place. I'd much rather those funds be diverted to actual societal issues like eating disorders.
This made me cry within....I work in producing cosmetics and beauty products, it's an endless journey of what will suit the skin what will not, what's more effective. Despite all this somewhere deep down we would still be doing something about our appearance no matter what. It's so sad but true...really it's exhausting... I get exhausted with my work too sometimes.
Although the social pressures are real and our appearance can affect our status in life...the extent that we perceive the standard to be I think is much higher than in reality. If you have expensive products, constant treatments, extensions etc, nobody will really notice compared to keeping yourself at a basic level of put together. If you keep your nails and hair well groomed, your career will not be affected if you get acrylics and hair treatments every few weeks. The rediculous standard and pressure is often self created.
Those who strive for social acceptance using appearances & cosmetics will find out that no matter what they do, it will never be enough.. 🤦♂️🤦♀️🤷♂️🤷♀️🧟♀️🧟♂️
then have no compliment at all. its literally saying you look good. its an encouraging advise of self reflection. you can take that from a person, or leave them be.
Its a compliment, they weren’t trying to force you?? Literally you are the worst kind of person people shouldnt even try to make your day better by complimenting you
That statement was shocking for me: why can my husband take a shower and go to work and I can’t ? Is it that they have been educated differently? Are we encouraging this differences?
You'll understand things better if you let go of the idea that everything is socially constructed. There are evolutionary factors at play, men and women do in fact have different mating strategies, and we are, at the core, animals.
@@robbiemedica2652 it's also a culture thing. I live in the Netherlands and many women here don't wear makeup every day and just shower and go to work. Wearing a tshirt and jeans.
This is something I think about a lot, thank you for sharing it, we forget how subtle sexism is and how much it affects our lives. Also the concept of 'self care'
I only remember those that said she lost because she was a woman. Even though there is still so much racial prejudice in the US today, Americans would rather put a black man in office than a woman.
@@thecollector5243 I was working as a caregiver for a woman who was straight up OG feminist, and we watched a forum discussion on this makeup an beauty in american politics on BBC news. We both dont do makeup and were fathomed thos was even an issue.
I am 11 and I do NOT care about how people think about my looks, and I think nobody should, nobody deserves to be judged on their looks. Edit: here again, 2 years later, I’m 13 now. I still love how I look and I hate the texting style 11 y/o me had Edit: here again, 3 years later, I'm 14 now. Perhaps a little insecure about my whiteheads and teeth but thats about it ^^
Good for you queen but just remember it will get so much harder to do that as you get older. So You’re correct, nobody deserves to be judged on their looks but you will be. it’s just the way things are rn and it’s not gonna change in days it’ll take years and years. So as a teenager rn remembering how I was when I was ur age - stay strong and keep not caring about ur looks.
(M here) yeah i used to be the same, but when you get to the later years of highschool, you get painfully aware of how you look, and I know people who have been destroyed purely for appearance
Basically the need is to shift from body (or beauty) positivity to body neutrality. It means that you don't give importance to beauty anymore, and define yourself and derive your esteem not by beauty but by your other qualities. Not everyone is beautiful, the body positivity movement tries to expand the meaning of beautiful but at the end of the day crates hierarchies and categories of beauty and centers it again. The only way to be free is completely remove attention from physical beauty.
It's so interesting how while watching this video I was comparing myself to all the women in this video-- thinking about how pretty they were, they didn't even need makeup, etc. It took me about halfway through the video to snap myself out of it and see how I was reinforcing those ideals within myself. Awesome well done video, you folks always do a great job breaking down your topics, and asking your experts all the right questions. Keep up the good work!
This is so important specially because of the perspective of how patriarchy sees us as basically, dolls... Not only for makeup on the face or perfect hair or expectations in the shape of our bodies and clothes, but it can be seen even in the fact that if we don't shave our armpits or legs, we're a target to make fun of... Something so natural, and it's still so far from being seen as normal. And well so many other examples. How adjectives describing us are always related to our looks instead of our abilities, intellectuality, values, etc...
Such an important video. I am 51 and I wish there was content like this when I was younger. It was there, but less of it and this articulates the issue particularly well. "Beauty sickness" is something I have suffered from my whole life and have only recently started to heal from.
I am proud to say that I don't wear make up at work and I don't care if I looked stressed or not because impressing other people of how you look or your beauty through make up and stuff is already depressing.
Thank you so much for acknowledging that Vox benefits from these beauty norms, too. I really appreciate your honesty and vulnerability as you tackle this huge, suffocating multi-societal pressure to fit into the “ideal” of appearance. As someone who grew up loathing her appearance, used makeup as a crutch to hide my “imperfections”, and now is on the journey of loving my natural physicality-thank you, thank you, thank you. Means the world. I hope y’all are able to put out more content like this because it means so much to so many of us. We *need* more content like this!
Huge thanks to the women who came to talk to us about beauty culture and how it plays out in their lives: Mona, Emma, Nina, Rihma, and Arlinda.
What words would you most like people to use when they describe you? We’d love to hear in the comments.
Keep an eye out for new, free episodes of Glad You Asked every Wednesday. And don't forget to subscribe to our channel and turn on notifications (🔔) to get more Vox videos: bit.ly/voxyoutube
-Cleo and Joss
Now you hating and jealous over beautiful people
Why can’t I see the views
SteveVi0lence not the point of the video
JJK Malcom 100% agreed
Maybe next time, get awkward looking females & see what they have to say.
The beauty industry has a strange way of convincing you to love your body whilst making you feel ashamed and hating it
Well, you too can finally love it - if you consume product that is
The beauty industry is preying on women's insecurities to make a fortune, and it works so well that some women think spending several hundred bucks on products they rarely use up is somehow emancipating and liberating.
THIS.
Right? Its the "you can look absolutely gorgeous as you are... if you just buy this product"
That's advertising manipulation in a nutshell.
We should also stop saying things like "Everyone deserves to feel beautiful". It strengthens the idea that it's the most important quality to have, that you have a right to it. No one does. Be a person 1st.
That's the truest thing I've read around here.
my mother was once a beautiful now she old and still think she is.... let face it... it temporary...
I know right?! being beautiful is not the rent you pay to exist in the world as a woman
feel beautiful.. not look beautiful. they interpret it wrongly
hmm... never thought of it that way
Sometimes I like to look at people like i look at art. I'm fascinated by their shapes, the way they move, the way they talk. I'm fascinated by their differences, by their strangenes and little blemishes. Thinking people have to look perfect is the same mistake as thinking art has to be perfect. Because that's not what makes it beautiful. It only becomes beautifull by its uniqueness and its character.
turanga leela that’s a lovely statement! I wish we could see ourselves in that manner rather than with harsh judgement and with such an unnecessary level of scrutiny.
I agree. Everyone is there own art to me.
no shame, i would do this on the train, just rly admire all kinds of strangers' faces 😂 (back when i used to take the train like daily lol)
This is exactly why I love sketching portraits 💕
turanga leela I love this
The fact that I see 12 year olds at my school wearing a lot of makeup really says something about the pressure we have to look perfect everyday. I mean even kids think of makeup as an essential.
12? Oh my😥 where do you live?
@@veronicav924 I live in Finland
mimuwu umi or maybe they just want to try new things like makeup 🤷🏽♀️
How about the fact that the amount of 13-14 year old boys using steroids has increased like 30 % the last 5 years? That is boys version of body pressure... Because of super hero actors with perfect bodies in movies
Probably it's depends on what coutry ,what exactly place one lives...In Russia it can be, but not often, 12s y.os still not weight makeup
I loved the point: it's not only about being more inclusive in beauty, it is about talking less about it... That should be the goal for 2020.
spot on
I wish looks didn't matter, or that simply a walking around with a paper bag on would become fashion so I could wear one and feel more comfortable about myself
@@Stormcloakvictory...how sad the extreme attention to beauty can make us feel. I send you a strong hug!
This is why i hate those sayings like "everyone's beautiful" Like...Who cares? Not everyone is a super model. And thats ok...Let's start judging people on their actual character and not things they have no control over.
afonsords wellll.. what is considered beautiful is highly moldable by the surrounding society/environment and standards set within that. The “supermodels” of today wouldn’t have been considered the epitome of beauty a few hundred years ago, nor do different cultures have the same beauty ideals.
YES! When people do photo shoots in bikinis with cellulite to show that they have cellulite and are still beautiful I think, BUUUUT you're still defining yourself by beauty! Your body isn't that important! Your looks aren't that important!
I don't think feeling beautiful is a bad thing, because when someone compliments your appearance... it feels good. But like the video says at the end, we just need to talk about appearance LESS. So I agree with the second part of your comment.
Exactly, intelligence and character are built over time and take hard work. External physical beauty is inherited. No one's ever had to work for that. Somehow, appearances are complimented first, if not only.
I always say that! Totally agreed.
I hate that it all revolves around beauty and body standards, because even for me as a 20 year old guy, I feel not good enough. Like my jaw isnt defined enough, my neck is too thick, my arms are too skinny, I'm not skinny enough. Over the years I've found it harder to accept other people with things that I cant accept within myself because of these standards. It is a really a toxic and awful thing.
I find myself doing the same thing. It's very strange. It's almost like to be "pretty" you have to check off a list of boxes and if you don't then you're not. I'm coming to realize that is not true, and never was. But also that pretty is not what matters the most
🖤🖤🖤
As soon as I started looking at my body for what it does (I can talk, walk, see, create, think etc), instead of what it looks like, I started feeling better. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that, but I'm a lot more confident. Hopefully you find a way to love your body too. Humans didn't evolve to look pretty. We evolved to survive. Wish you all the best, stranger ❤️
You are enough! ♥️♥️♥️ Never doubt that.
The fact that you're recognizing that is great, bc that means you can try to adjust how your view yourself and others. It won't be easy; especially with social media and beauty standards in your face all the time. I hope you learn to accept yourself! We all have wonderful qualities within us! For myself, I quit doing social media. I found it to be toxic and I wasted too much time on it. I try to have the idgf attitude about how I'm viewed. Take me or leave me; flaws and all.
I remember a few years ago, when I told a classmate of mine that I wasn't into makeup and didn't apply any and she said I was backwards and that people like me were the reason women were still oppressed... Let's just say I was glad when she dropped out of my course and I didn't ever have to interact with her again. The real problem, is women pulling down other women for not fitting their idea of "how" a woman "should" be.
You're awesome for not falling for such negativity. I also don't wear makeup at all. Not even powder. I feel sorry for all those oppressed women who are insecure of going out without makeup :D
This. Women are more cruel to other women than men are cruel to us.
I think it can be other women, men, religion or society that oppresses.
Not wearing make up is being free of oppression; provided you are choosing not to wear it because YOU don't want to wear it. Conversely, choosing to wear make up is also liberating if that is YOUR choice. As long as you feel free, happy and confident. 💛💛
@@KitC916 not rly, bc most of the time women are cruel out of jealousy or their on insecurity or to establish some form of dominance over you, it serves a social purpose. when men are cruel they can deliver a finishing blow to us. and they know it.
@@KitC916
Mental abuse is far worse.
Conclusion: let's talk about beauty less.
Amen.
nobody... but we all can see it...
yes
no. we are human. we like to look at pretty things.
Alisha anyways people arent things
As i become more matured i learned to just leave my face and body alone. I just focus on what works for me and not alter what was given to me
Except for doing sports it really isn’t possible to change yourself
Yeah don't wear glasses
Good for you
chora okay no one cares no one was ever forcing you
Same. I also don't judge the others
I love make up but I hate the weird pressure to do it in a certain way. I like experimenting and it’s annoying that theirs a weird judgement if you don’t do it in a certain accepted way...
Pinky Saints I love that makeup is whatever you want it to be, Some days I’m full glam, others it’s lightly filled brows, a touch of high lighter, and mascara. I definitely don’t feel pressure to wear makeup, I just really enjoy the act of doing it, it’s an escape from adulting for me as a wife/mother of 3 kiddos. I think however you want to apply it should be what makes you feel good ☺️
I agree and I agree to the person who commented as well (;
Pinky Saints my sister's bullied me for my unibrow when I was small, and after a few years of plucking them waaay too far apart they've grown back closer, and I now use makeup to give myself a unibrow during derby bouts. The look on their face when they first saw my warrior face made me feel so powerful, I love that makeup allows the parts of you to shine that were once dulled by years of doubt.
Just don't do it
No there is not 🙄
“Beauty is pain.”
Both physical and emotional. So messed up.
Beauty is subjective.
In France we Say "il faut souffrir pour être belle" (you have to suffer to be beautiful)
@@leila_de_hautjardin wow!
I used to not be able to leave the house without filling out my eyebrows. I thought I looked hideous with my sparse brows.
My bf told me to stop. He said I look good w/o trying to do the most to my face. I never believed him and I never saw what he did.
Until I chose to stop. I went bare faced everywhere with my acne hyperpigmentation and sparse eyebrows. I feel A LOT more confident with myself now. I hate the hyperpigmentation scarring on my face, but I know one day I'll no longer deal with them.
I have one face and one body. I'm loving the face and body I'm in. Finally.
@Brina Owens why do u emphasize that?
David Benito andd stop. You’re wanting a a black & white scenario.
We women should listen more to our boyfriends, sometimes they really mean that we are more beautiful without make up and for some reason I never believed my boyfriend.
How do you deal with hyperpigmentation and scars ? I am really trying too but I can't love them, it never fades. I would like to feel that I am more than that. My boyfriend doesn't help or get the beauty pressure on us. It's expected
Lisa I'm currently using a salicylic acid face wash and moisturizer. Theyve helped my breakouts go from four every two days to none at all. Also, sunscreen during the day.
imagine how much pressure women in korea feel everyday
Why??
Mili Aurora they have to be perfect Asian women skinny 49 kg is too much lower is better also surgery of any kind is good white skin is beautiful it’s really sad but that’s their culture and we should respect it
@@hoddy1368 respect lol never
@@hoddy1368 but why is the pressure...can't she choose to be herself and live her life??
@@miliaurora1038 not if she wants to be competetive in anything
This reminds me of something that my mom said when I was in Highschool, but that has always stuck with me (even now 20 years later): "When you like or love a woman it's ok to tell her that she's beautiful, to compliment her appearance, but don't say it TOO much. It's eventually going to fade and if that's the basis of why she feels valued by you then she will feel less valuable over time. Make sure to let her know that you love all of her. Ok Kiddo."
🤗👏👏👏👏
That is so thoughtful
Your mom was absolutely right
Amazing!
I didn’t realise how often I perpetrate these expectations on females when complimenting them and I realised how little I took the time to complete other values which are just as important
It's good that you realised that.
Joao Faria ❤️
*women ☺️
❤
YES! Saying a woman is beautiful is NOT enough! Call her smart, unique, important, wise, fierce, kind, creative!
if you hate the small lines you have beside your nose, remember that they’re there because of all of the beautiful smiles you had.
if you hate the wrinkles under your eyes, remember all the laughs and happiness that caused them.
i have a surgical scar on my neck which is very visible but i’ve never hated it. everytime i see it it reminds me that i’ve survived a deadly disease and i am beautiful and strong. i hope every female or male reading this finds love in themselves.
What a lovely comment :) You are strong and beautiful !
Thank you for your comments. It's really a comfort to me. I feel that I am not pretty and don't have confidence on my appearance. Your comments give me a different way to think about what beauty is.
God bless you🙏🏼
I barely smile or laugh but I have those lines, is not as pretty as you think
Aww best comment EVER! Thank you! God bless!
"If you don't wear makeup, whiten your teeth, shave 'unnecessary' hair, etc, you're not being professional."
Men also have to share and put on several things in order to be 'professional'. How comfortable do you think a tie is?
And being professional can't all be your actions. It's also how you present yourself on the outside.
@5,ooo LightYears Away I agree, although I don't think men should be expected to shave their faces. I think as long as you are clean and wearing appropriate clothing you should be considered "professional" and "groomed"
I mean, men have to do stuff as well, but I hate how for women it’s more of an expectation to wear lipstick and heels, be hairless, be slim, etc.
@@meepmeep1329 Although I see your point wearing a tie isn't that big a deal and this is speaking from someone who wears ties often.
@meep In certain professional work places women have to wear makeup. Trust me thats worse
I feel there's so much pressure to compliment women on their looks. Men feel so because they think that women are looking for it, and women do it because they think that is all men see in them. A vicious cycle.
That’s accurate
ask women if the preferí Slim ir Strong arma, hair ir not hair on your head, tall or small than them. They do the sale presure to us. They always chose, dont worry about that.
I think it varies on where you are. I literally never want a man I work with or a man I don't know to compliment me on how I look. And I don't know any women who do.
Practice giving women compliments that are not based on their looks. Break the circle.
@Recovering PickMeiShah 2020 You're saying you're not wearing make up for men, but because you are disgusted by your own face? Something sounds even more wrong...
The more I learn about makeup and skincare the more I hate the way I look.
Me too but it’s a shame because that’s why I’m learning about makeup and skin care because I already want to get rid of how I look
Same, I feel the pressure, the need to show the world that I'm worth it.
Aww Everyone is beautiful in the way they are. So, be proud of your looks that make you unique😉
If u want make up, go ahead.
If u don't want, then don't do.
Is women being herself.
i don't really understand that? because personally taking care of my skin has made it better and therefore i'm more confident
What they said about how women are described in literature was so true that it kind of frightened me
+
+
"Honey you look tired today!"
"Sure. I am overworked, I couldn't grab breakfast or sleep just so I could meet deadlines that pay me to buy more make-up"
See, you would only look tired if you’re usually presented with makeup or met said person with makeup on. If you never wore makeup nobody would have that comment. Same goes for when people that usually wear glasses take off their glasses
@@blankstatement1 unfortunately then people compare those women to those that do wear makeup, even if they don't verbalize it, society is trained to view makeup as their normal appearance
@@blankstatement1 yes v true but once you start wearing it I feel like I just can't stop now. I'm more me with make up than without.. Probably because I have it on my face more than I don't.. Sad I know
Mahasweta Chakraborti i should print this on a small board to take out everytime somebody said this to me
@@blankstatement1 4
Thank you. People don't get it when I try to explain this. Everyone acts like a woman "doesn't take care of herself" or has basically just given up on life if she doesn't place enough emphasis on her a appearance, by their standards
Ur right tho.... at least that's what i feel...
Thats because men value beauty in women. Whereas women value other things in men. Men work hard to be a well rounded person in order to live up to certain standards. What I'm saying is that men work just as hard and harder to be competitive, just in different areas. It's much easier to put makeup on and put some time into appearance than working your way up career-wise and simply being a moral/honest person.
@@CousinBowling The makeup is expected. That's not necessarily going to help you get ahead. But it will hinder you if you don't do it.
It should be noted that in our society if you are not compliment physical appearance first it is a defacto insult.
When you here "she is really smart" or "she has a great personality" What does that tell you about her appearance? Because, clearly, if that person was beautiful they would have lead with that.
It is a sad, self amplifying, circle :(
No one wins :/
I feel like it’s only like that in some situations. I feel like compliments about appearance are too easy to make which is why no one just casually compliments personality because you got to know more about a person than what you just see at first glance.
MySQL I think that’s changing a little, depending on who’s saying it. If I’m talking someone up (like I went on a first date or something) I would definitely lead with her personality and THEN mention her appearance. At least, as a young woman talking about other women, it’s becoming less common to talk about appearance first. Which I think is a good thing.
MySQL 💯
my friend's only ever compliment me on my physical appearance. it's kind of hurtful that everything else i can do isn't acknowledged. not that i expect them to compliment me or anything, i just wish everyone wasn't so focused on that sort of stuff.
@@mialily6787 Same.
We live in a society that teaches you that you're never enough.
You have to be prettier, stronger, more successful, more resiliant, ...
You just have to be better in every way.
Never be yourself.
And that's what makes me angry.
It's okay to look different, to be different, to not be perfect.
Everyone is unique and that's what makes them pretty.
Be yourself! And be happy to be yourself!
Don't let people tell you who you are and how you have to be.
We live in a society guys
Nina Hardi - um actually self improvement is pretty satisfying and many people benefit in the long run even if it’s kinda tiring (ex. A modelling career, atheltic career, more social confidence)
Its always good to be a better person but i get what your saying
Weak minds crumble first :)
Nina Hardi tell those society if they ever work to earn money independently, then they can preach about pretty and stronger afterwards
“Beauty sickness....A world that cares a lot about the inside of men and the outside of women”. Hmmm!!
What?
I have to say i disagree. Explain to me why more and more teenage boys down to 13-14 years old use steroids? Because of the perfect Marvel super heroes in their under armor tight shirts and muscles, because of series like love Island, because of movies like magic mike. Because body shaming and body standards hit meb just as much as women. The difference is mens mentality towards this compared to women. We don't speak out on this.
@@stuartburke6374 the topic was about beauty and how it's gendered to be a woman's most defining trait only. That isn't to say issues surrounding men, i.e. being physically fit, being financially stable or successful, being competitive in a lot of aspects, having material wealth, dominance in spaces, etc. aren't important. But the fact women discuss issues centered to women is a gateway to finally breaking down the traditions internalized to men as boys. Remember, most systems of power are made by men who are in positions of power. They know that men of certain ranks can only benefit them, whilst the women who are their wives or family are secondary. And what of men, women, children, etc. who are not from these circles? They have to apply what they think could bring them power. It's a class struggle and gendered one for a long time.
@Paul Kay no of cause not? Why would I treat you as equal to somebody I know? I wouldnt lend you money nor trust you with anything.
@@stuartburke6374 no, because in the end a man can makeup for almost any physical flaw with personality, always. maybe except height for some women (not across the board though) but for women it's always the physical. and that's so exhausting, you can be charming, funny, interesting, smart, intriguing, mysterious etc, but if you're not 'hot' it doesn't matter. that's why i'm so baffles when guys say they have it harder, like you can just get a good personality, respect people around and be funny and you'll succeed. even physically, if you're insecure, just going to the gym twice a week is enough. whereas women are expected to go under the knife or have some sort of procedure to change ourselves
The money we spend on makeup, creams, oils, serums is absurd
Dear Vox Audience,
Please pay attention to what the women hosts are saying in this video
In the future leave a comment about content not their physical appearance
Compliment their intelligence, worth ethic and so on!
+
nice comment
Or comment on how good the guys look. Then we'd be equal. JK I understand your point
can't you do both?
@@purplewine7362 When as much emphasis is put upon femininity & our influences of a social/intellectual/leadership/other aspect? Then feel free. Until then? We are specifically graded for how 'F'-able we are.
That's pretty messed up.
beauty bloggers: love yourself!
beauty bloggers: [get plastic surgery]
You can still love yourself and get plastic surgery but I understand what you mean
Woman in the video: has a small beauty routine
Also the Woman in the video: of course Botox and other things
You LOVE yourself, then you go under a knife to change yourself. Sorry not self love, that's love contingent on what you can change. But if it helps people sleep at night, keep telling yourself that.
Because other people believes that the way they can love themselves is that they need to change,physically.
@@erindisney7263 If you're so desperate to change a part of yourself that you're willing to go under the knife for it, I don't think you're truly loving yourself.
I love how much research and time you put into these videos. Reading this many papers and making sense of them is a really tedious task. The way you present the results especially your narrative, is phenomenal
They barely presented any literature research; it's mostly a surface level review, which is good in its own right.
Also, vox is like a huge company. They have a whole team who does the research. Its not one person
Naomi Wolf wrote The Beauty Myth in 1990. All that has changed in the 30 years since is that the boundaries of the "beautiful" have opened up, but beauty is still the main focus, for women, and also increasingly, for men. Companies have just expanded their customer base.
Nelson Thangjam I loved that book!
So true
Nelson Thangjam Such a good point...but depressing!
I just stopped reading women's magazines one day - and gradually started to feel better about myself. Never looked back. When I want skincare tips, I do a very target internet search for users who have tested a product.
Sameeee
@Soniya Kabdwal Wait no no no, if you want to feel empowered by using less products I totally support you, but don't start spreading scientific lies.
I never really read them to begin with..but you see them in pretty much every waiting room so..but I at least knew that NO ONE looked like the models in those mags..not even the models.
Ever since I started doing skincare (to love my naked face), stopped focusing on makeup trends (and started using only concealer, blush, mascara and liner to create something that works on me) and quit social media, my self esteem has done nothing but go up.
*Instagram is not a social platform, its a platform of marketing products and intriguing people into buying products*
Edited:- 1K people agree with it.
It's also a social platform...
In which happens social interaction which makes it a social platform
Also a shitposts/memes platform
It is if you choose to. I have insta and I just follow meme and cat accounts, and friends of course. These dont affect my self esteem
however, I do agree that today's society does pressure both men and women to look a certain way.
Полностью согласна с вами, поэтому я терпеть не могу инстаграмм, там никогда нет общения человеческого, это просто тупо сплошная реклама всего подряд, все что можно и нельзя продать
"Is beauty culture hurting us?"
Me: yes.
*closes video*
😂💀 the answer is a painfully obvious one
Se A you are very unique ..
.. Just like everyone else
@Se A I like what you said there. Unshakeable confidence. That is so true.
🤣
When i was 16, the skin on my right calve was burned by a silencer. The spot is still there and everytime i look at it, it reminds me of how brave and happy i was during my healing process irrespective of my physical condition, and i love the scar for reminding me everyday that I'm a strong and capable person.
Ladies you are beautiful! Embrace your flaws❤
What a coincidence !!!!?????? same happened with me when i was 15, exactly the same situation.
Honestly I don’t think the makeup tutorials make me feel more pressured to look beautiful. Although i do admit that it leads to consumerism because you are always being shown new products you feel you need.
If you didn't waste money on new products you don't need, UA-cam channels wouldn't be in business. Capitalism :)
@Belen Zamora Doesn't the fact that you feel the need to buy something equal to feeling pressured? It all depends on whether you are buying to own or buying to use said product, but still...
Belen Zamora agreeed!!!!!!
@@bsarioz o
YES!!! consumerism is the biggest problem i see.
The fact that such naturally beautiful female hosts have all these insecurities proves the flaws with "beauty culture"
Or that they care too much. Thank 2020 "feminism."
Emily Schueller for what?
Jacynda Minor its sarcasm
@@trash0175 It doesn't read as sarcasm
letempsdechat emily is obviously being sarcastic. She’s literally quoting the word feminism.
Quarantine has given me so much time to reflect on everything in my life, the biggest part being who I am as a person and how I see myself. At the end of the video, I was in tears because of how these women want to be valued beyond how society sees them superficially. I'm taking this as a reminder to value myself on the inside, my personality, how thoughtful and caring I am, how people say I brighten up their day. I will constantly and consciously appreciate myself and all the women around me.
Spreading love to all the powerful women out here ❤️
It's so great hearing that! I've been having the same kind of reflections as you during this quarantine :) Wishing you more growth and love
i liked your reply just to remind you that 8 months ago you promised this to yourself...❤️❤️
Love for men and women :) (we can have both in a world that gives nothing).
I feel a bit lucky to not be obsessed with keeping up beauty standards, only wash myself
Me too
wash myself? barely
Good for u
@@Waverider4u u don't wash whats wrong with you 😕
@@afroafro2212 no water more than half of the year where I live... I don't drink water either I think it's overrated
I'm guilty of complementing other women on their appearance, but sometimes when I want to complement them on other things, I feel like I don't know them well enough yet, so I end up reverting to the appearance part.
The worst part are cases where you realise there's not much else to compliment bc beauty (and instagram) is that time consuming in some of their lives
I love your motivation! Try “I know I don’t know you very well, but I can already tell your energy lights up the room” or “I love your taste in music!” or “That was a really insightful perspective; thank you for sharing!” or “I love your sense of humor!” Hope these help. With practice, it’ll become second nature to compliment things that aren’t related to one’s appearance, don’t you worry 😊 Speaking from experience! I started like a year ago. And now I’ll only make a superficial compliment to someone I know very well and only if I like feel like it’s GOT to be said. Baby steps 😊
Heather Alfano I love your suggestion! Something I’ll definitely be working on. 💜
i compliment men usually. they rarely get any.
@@Man-ej6uvwe need more peeps like you 😁
I'm sorry, but I've always found it strange that looking "tired" is such a bad thing? And such an insult?
Marina Chan Yeah, I’ve got homies who are tired ALL the time and it’s only a problem if they mention it every 2 seconds.
Exactly whenever someone points that out I say
Well I’m sorry I didn’t get my beauty sleep last night I had to finish some essays and then work but thanks for pointing that out Karen
I’m sure your 2 almost adult kids definitely don’t let you sleep at all
Great point!
same here,.. its an observation.. by someone .. it use to be "i dont get enough sleep to word spreading of pressure to care?
🤔
Very good point. You're right why is it an insult.
Video: is beauty culture hurting us?
Also video: perfect lighting in every shot, perfect angles, flawless editing and top HD quality
and everyone portrayed has clear complexion, symmetrical faces, long hair, no one over 40
@@jordanw9377 exactly, just slap a zit on their face somewhere and call it body positivity
"Wow the one zit on my face isn't noticeable when left un-caked by foundation and flooded with studio lighting, I guess bEaUTy cULtuRe iS hUrTInG Us tHIs is *radical* bODy pOsiTiVity"- We Never Asked S1
Jordan W so they black lady with the grey hair towards the end isn’t over 40?
And the two most featured women are very slim and objectively beautiful...
Whenever i hear a friend saying she can’t go out of the house without make-up, even tho they’re reaaaally pretty, I tell them that it’s your face, you shouldn’t be ashamed of it.
You can't win really. Either people don't accept the way you look because you're not wearing makeup, or they don't accept you for wearing makeup because they don't think you should. I'll do what I want with my own face, thanks!
@Brina Owens good for you
@@charlottethomas608 good for you.
I like that the camera is constantly showing the backstages or the lights to indicate how much stuffs have been done behind the scenes to make the speaker look more likable
"Last week I spent 6,5 hours on instagram"
I spent 7,5 hours on youtube just yesterday
We are so same lol
We need to find a job
@@Chima207 well on the othed hand I use youtube as a background noise during my work soo
ugh of course you haves OST’s
@@ea1766 of course...in the youth of Acronyms . People create most anything nowadays.smh
So glad I never got wrapped up in this. Feeling sorry for everyone who feels not beautiful. You are a true beauty even though you sometimes can't see it
Love how emotionally intelligent all the people were in this video. Being able to accept some privileges you have is so tough and then to critique them? Amazing!
My girlfriend has pimples on her face, she used to to hide them with makup. Over last 7 years I've told her that I love her even more when she's without cosmetics so many times that now her confidence has reached a level where she can go on World tour in PJs.😁
@Brina Owens First of all, I've never pressured her, ever, for anything. And now that you say that it makes me think that there were many other factors which made her more confident about her appearance, I was one of those factors, a major one nevertheless. Thank you for your reply. Would love to know if you have any other input.
That’s lovely of you :) I’m glad she has more confidence!
@@Alice-vv3mj Thank you
Great!
That's amazing! Good job dude
"it's the inequality between what women are expected to do and what men are expected to do that really makes me angry." Hear hear
Women like it though when it's convenient for them.
@@jayc342009 somehow true (--like the comment above). And that also makes me angry, that we're so accustomed to the conveniences and forget about the facts of where conveniences come from
@fdfc rfdd women have many advantages , shorter prison sentences for the same crime, less likely to be convicted, encouraged to show emotions, get way more emotional support, many special programs in place, more funding than men given to women from the government...I could go on. Men have their advantages too but it seems only men are called out.
@Moon Jar Yes I am sure about that. What ever happened to equality? Oh I forget it's only equality when women have a leg up.
@@blukeyify I wouldn't just wrap it up like that, since tons of men are just masking their real thoughts and emotions by falsely "toughen up" themselves when they're hurt or scared or feel inferior -- which is exactly caring (too) much about social expectations and denying their human (or biochemical) side. I wouldn't say -lightly- that they tend to care less about social expectations nor it's easier.
When I was younger and started seeing my peer wear makeup, I made a decision to not make that normal after seeing a Superwoman video about makeup. She said one day she didn't wear makeup to work and she apologized, and then wondered "Why did I have to apologize about this? This is my face!" I only wear mascara on special occasions, like a concert or a dance. It's rare enough that people notice and comment when I do wear makeup. People are used to my non-makeupped face, and I'm glad about that.
I do the same. Setting a different normal from the start would just make things easier. But also, why do people care if or how regularly makeup is worn?
I think what they're calling "beauty sickness" is really just insecurity about ones looks, which happens because people are competitive, and we have a genetic, evolutionary need to be the "more beautiful" one. I don't mean to sound fatalistic. I like this video. I just don't think we'll ever decrease the value of beauty as a species. All we can do is redefine it, which happens naturally through cultural shifts.
Tallis Holowka those last two sentences, gold. More people need to read and understand this.
That is so genius! Wow....
Competition, thats the word for it, if you're not first you're last lol.
You missed the whole point of the video. The problem is the inequality in how much pressure we put on beauty between men and women.
@@mchlle94 have you ever seen a non fit guy on a magazine cover? It's the same with men
Also, You didn't even point out that when MEN take part in this (skincare, hair salon, manicures) they are seen as feminine.
So true..whats wrong with a guy wanting to take care of his personal hygiene? Even for something as simple as whitener for teeth..whats wrong with not wanting ghastly yellow teeth?
@@karenm5520 whitening are bad for teeth as I know. Slightly yellowish is a normal color, imho
@@Kagamishoshi that's true, but because people are so obsessed with extra white teeth, if one has normal looking teeth, they seem more yellow than they really are
Googleden kind 64set45 c c
Gggb
True. Men who do take part in it are seen as too feminine. But when they do not they are seen as the patriarchy and anti-progressive. You lose either way as a man. No one talks about this. Men can't be men anymore.
Once you start doing make up and skin care is when you start to notice your "imperfections" that you never notice before. And it would then make you look up for videos and buy more make up and skin care products. :(
Why are you saying skincare is bad?
anti-aging*
Of course, companies that make these products create problems that don't exist. Since the economy revolves around supply and demand, either you respond to demand or create it. You trick people into thinking they need something, that's what tech companies do to convince you to buy the latest iPhone because you "need" it
YESSS OMG
@@Unknown-oh6ue This exactly, well said. Capitalism is not only destructive to basic necessities like education and healthcare, but is also highly counterproductive for luxury industries like beauty products.
Tile: is beauty culture hurti-
Me: *Y E S*
Edit: oh wow this is the first time I've actually gotten this many likes (o_O) you guys Actually have me *sHoOk* TF? 2.4k likes that's amazing~(´⊙ω⊙`)!thank you, I appreciate that👌💜💜💜
chimchim chimmy definitely
@@katenka_ana3997 no
@@nisman.lo.desvivieron how come? ppl re wasting so much time, energy and money (for example: doing your nails once a month for 40 Euro is gonna be one thousand euro in three years spent on just nails ) on superficial things.. sure, the first impression matters. A little. But as you get to know someone, their personality and skill set (depends on context) becomes way, way more important.
People should just look clean and "organized". No need to live up to lowkey ridiculous beauty standards that only a small percentage of people actually, naturally have....
Make-up is a waste of time and money that's what I say.
No
I'm kinda real glad that I never felt the need to wear makeup (except for maybe graduation or something big but even then idc too much) I have a decent face so there's that but I see my friends who spend hours getting ready just to go to class or work and it just feels weird that women are expected to do all that before they can leave the house. I have a love/hate relationship with my weight instead I guess, I'm mostly ok with it but I'd like to lose a pants size or two so I can fit into the seats on my favourite roller coasters again. That's it, that's honestly my weight loss goal.
Make up is just cosmetic. Being in good shape from a good diet and exercise is actually healthy for you as opposed to drying up your face with make up.
How is his comment not related? You started talking about weight loss and not using too much make up and @Berk Sarioz clearly supported what you said.
I didnt know make up was such a big deal until recently, because here in south asia its really normal to see people with their natural skin. Makeup is not necessary to go out, like a lipstick is more than enough to go out and sometimes even that is not necessary
Colleen Deignan good luck!! I’m sure you’re a beautiful and smart women
I believe that if you put your mind to it you can do it. I am not saying we should lose weight only for the beauty of it but more for having a healthy body.
I recommend everyone who's interested in this topic to read up on Michel Foucaults work on power. It details how power works on a micro-level and therfore conditions us to "govern" ourselves as individuals and to conform to social standards such as ideals of femininity and masculinity. I think his book "discipline and punish" would be a good start. Oddly enough this book is about how prisons work in modernity, but in it he also makes really good points about the structure of power itself and society as a whole.
Yessssss!!!!! Agreed!!💕💕⭕⭕
Idk about you but i love how they DIRECTLY discuss stuff happening in thdir own channel regarding to this topic
can i have a link? :)
@@noone9472 to what my dude
No One It’s in this very video
Helen L. Of the channel :)
@@noone9472 it's vox my dude
"Because there's a 23 year old inside me, it just needs to be unlocked with this product." Haha! 🙌🏼
Whidbey Beachcomber are you from whidbey island?
@@ghoulmilk - I am indeed! You?
Whidbey Beachcomber me too! im in clinton...what are the odds!
🤣
@@ghoulmilk - Well hello, neighbor! I'm up in Oak Harbor 😁
Been a victim of that beauty trap and bought so makeup and skincare that I can’t even use up. My skin is not healthy and always breaking out because of using different products. Now I only have minimal skin care and makeup and my skin is better. For me, less is more is the key.
I remember when my an ex watched me put makeup on for the first time, when I was late getting ready for a movie. He didn’t gasp in horror at my natural face, lol, but he did say something that really disturbed me.
I have a butterfly rash from Lupus and very dark circles, both genetically and from poor sleep due to pain, so I always try to cover my rash. I don’t own blush because even with concealer and a moderate foundation, it shines through. I was finishing my routine when I caught his expression. He looked... sad. I asked him what was wrong.
“That’s just... the saddest thing. You don’t *need* that. You’re *you.* Just be you.”
Now I tend to leave off concealer and foundation. I just do my brows, some eyeliner, a lip balm or matte lipstick, maybe eyeshadow if I want to sort of... be expressive. I don’t think I’d have gotten there as easily without the nudge. My skin is way better; most foundations broke me out at least on my forehead, which *never* breaks out when I’m not using makeup. My chin, the side of my cheek, maybe, but never my forehead. I often look feverish because of my rash, but... it’s not something I can get rid of, so I’d rather people become accustomed to it and not feel I have to wear makeup than feel I can’t stop because they’ll be weirded out by a seemingly new rash.
Not since I’ve heard the words, “What else is there?” In regards to beauty being the standard by which you admire a woman, have I been as surprised and disturbed by a sentence. “That’s the saddest thing.”
Thank you for sharing that, that's a beautiful story. Something inside me feels inspired.
Kitty Thanks for replying to let me know! It’s weird; I’ve sort of... carried that around with me for maybe ten years. It’s something I think of so often, but never really talk about. It’s one of the things I like best about UA-cam; it prompts memories and comments and conversations that remain only unused potential otherwise. Stay inspired. 😊
This effects a lot more than we want to acknowledge and for some reason we are scared to change it...
Nobody forces you to wear makeup.
The „beautiful daughter“ is very american to say
My mom and dad call me and my sisters their 3 smart daughters, cuz we all went to college and have successful jobs. Then again we DO live in Romania.
@@elrilmoonweaver4723 congrats ❤
Them packing up their makeup is such a powerful moment, imo. For a moment you think it was provided by the studio, and then you realize, no, that’s their stuff.
Short answer: yes.
Long answer:
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssss.
Pixeleyes00 hi
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Powerful ending statement if I do say so myself
“It’s to talk about beauty less”
👏👏👏
Obviously it's always a pleasure to hear "you're pretty today" but I don't really care if someone finds that I look tired. I feel more important or glad when someone says "you're brillant, intelligent, creative, you can have positive actions other's life"
(sorry if my sentences are not correct, english is not actually my native language)
I know what you mean, like id rather someone compliment me on my personality or my intellect rather than my looks. 100% agreed
Good reasoning Jo Sephine 😂 I like the way you think
@Jo Sephine not necessarily
Wasian Mob and how exactly are they supposed to do that, if they don’t know you well?
I was a bit skeptical of the video and its message at the beginning, but the conclusion really encapsulates my feelings about the topic. Physical beauty should not the value we hold to the highest standard and you put this together so well, without dragging anyone down to bring your point across.
I love that they aren't trying to be extreme and tell people to act like these things beauty standards etc don't exist at all- no they didn't do that and I loved the solution they gave to try to look for other things in women other than just looks
thank you for watching
i never thought about how i frequently compliment my friends on their eyeliner or makeup, but i very rarely, in comparison, compliment their character. amazing video, thank you.
When I look at other people, I always find something beautiful about them could be anything so I apply the same rules to me and when I catch myself in the mirror, home in sweats or dolled up I'm like oof don't i look good 😂 even if I'm trying to fix something like skin problem or hip dips I tell myself I look great now but imagine that confidence when I have accomplished my goal, I'll be unstoppable, that motivates me. As far as buying stuff goes I always find out a way or a product that doesn't costs much but gives me a similar result.
what a great mindset, and it's true there's always beauty in every person, some "flaw" that people find in themselves are actually beautiful and i hope the range of what's considered beautiful only increases in the future
I want to be your friend :)
@@joanneng9145 aww I would love that :)
Please never take what a random dude tells you about your appearance as valid
Its usually other women too
Why always dudes
@@motolaniblizmilleniumboysv3865 ikr
By your logic, why should I believe you?
@soco Please don't... please... please don't upset anyone here... please... please, we just need this positive energy on this.... please....
8:35 "I see my boyfriend just fall out of bed and take a shower, and go to work. And when I watch him do that, I wonder not ' why can't I do that', but 'why does it feels so bad when I do that' "
So true :"(
Just a few times I went out from home without brows lined and felt really beautiful, and nothing could upset me about my appearance. Nothing except too-much-makeup smoothest-skin washed-in-perfume women snooping around in the mall.
It is like you feel you're taking part in a competition you didn't sign to.
@11:43, is a very interesting statement. Thank you Cleo, Joss, and the rest of your team for making this video. As a man, videos like this really gives me a perspective I don't normally think about.
I would like to hear "He is beautiful from his heart" when they describe me and I work on that.
bruh
@@meghanachauhan9380 ????
Rohit Maurya definitely a lovely comment!!!
@@irreverentbard7322 Thank You
❤️ This is a beautiful comment
I got really sick a couple months ago and almost lost the muscle movements in half of my face. I'm slowly getting better, but it made me be really grateful for how I looked before. Please love your face, every face is a good and worthy face. Just appreciate it for what it is.
One of the best things I ever did was to 1) unfollow any beauty/makeup/fitness people on Instagram and 2) stop wearing makeup. It’s really hard to learn to love your natural self, and it can take a long time too. But once you do, you have confidence in yourself like never before :) I also only shave when I want to now rather than when I felt like I was expected to
Couldn’t agree with this more. Done exactly this and feel so much better. No make up besides lip gloss and crayon eyeliner, even at work. Skin is happy and I look younger. Plus less anxiety about looks and more mental capacity to focus on studies, passions and life
I worked in a beauty therapy place where they did lip fillers/ Botox/ facials and I all of a sudden felt super self conscious because I was exposed to what the industry considered to be problems. So I left and have felt totally comfortable in myself ever since!
The most meaningful 20:12 minutes of my day.
And in India, it's worst cuz the skin whiting industry is going up and up. Basically, they are bleaching there skin .
Deepika padukone did it even after being the conventional pretty,nice husband great career
Ian Stephen yeah, white supremacy/colonialism has a huge hand in the beauty industry. It’s infuriating.
Kind of like tanning in the west, wouldn’t you agree?
@@divya084 nah, don't tell me white untanned people in the West are not taken seriously and pushed under the rug. White is like half the representation in American entertainment industry. Women like the K's go for tanning. And people are not shamed for it, maybe the red heads a lil. But definitely not a widely accepted idea. While here, Indian women are literally shamed and neglected for being darker. There is lil to no representation of darker women in bollywood and ad industry. Le deke ek Radhika Apte hi ha. You must have watched ads with Spineless B'wood actors in it, equating fairness to success. Outrageous for a country with more than half the population on the darker side of the Fair&lovely tone scale. Wouldn't you agree? For non-Indians wondering, yes, some years back, a fairness cream came with a skin tone scale which you could use to compare yours to. The whiter, the better was the idea obviously.
@@bubblebubbleblip Skin whitening has been a thing since long before colonialism
I've never been into makeup and beauty regimens cuz I'm more concerned about treating my eczema than covering it. And my husband was always supporting always making me feel beautiful...until...
I got a new phone and took a selfie of my with our pup and sent it to him. He semd back "wow. You look really good in that pic? What did you do?" I felt great and told him "nothing". Then I realized the next day it was already set with a full beautifying filter, which I never used b4 cuz i dotn do Instagram or anything, and felt who do I need to impress.
When I realized this it broke my heart. My husband might think I'm beautiful, but now I felt he just told what he felt i needed to hear. Dont know what's better, bit will never forget that nauseating realization.
Kristi Mosher your husband wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t find you beautiful, of course you are beautiful to him I’m sure in more ways than one. Please don’t let him commenting on how you looked with a filter traumatize you or let that hurt you. EVERYONE looks better with a filter, that’s what they are meant to do.... Perfect skin is for babies, we all have things we see in the mirror we don’t like. Life is too short to feel anything less than enough.
Im sorry but this is too dramatic and somehow why?! Ofc he finds you beautiful, he's your husband, he sees you everyday in all your forms, why would a filter affect you that much? It also happened to me and i just turn everything off and Thats it, i still who i am, beauty me.
Sorry, but i feel sorry if you have to feel this way about urself
@@releynafraschla5189 I moved past it. It was a blip of a sensation. It's just something that was never an issue between us. Our connection is more than such superficial elements, it was the realization of what standards we have without paying attention to them. I was in a horrible place dealing with some traumatic stuff from my past, and was having problems with my self worth.
@@leeesuhx3 I know thos. And thos was many years ago, but I thank you for you words. I appreciate support in these comments very much.
I don't care if they judge me anymore. I wasn't born to fulfil others expactations, this world has so much more to offer. Btw: If you have some confidence and a good hygiene, you will never be lack of people that are attracted to you. Beauty standards or not.
How did u get confidence and can I have some
@@nairabee245 here you go, your welcome
Naira Bee I personally got it once i became a person i liked.
Being confident about yourself as a person in a capitalist society that is always telling you that you are not enough to make you consume more, is a political decision ✊
Abril ✊
True💯
I disagree that it's a problem with capitalism in particular. Companies just abuse supply and demand by creating demand where it doesn't exist. If you can't sell a product, then make people believe they need it. If society accepted that these products are not necessary than companies would stop shoving their products in your face.
✊🏿
@@Unknown-oh6ue How are companies using their capital to generate artificial demand not a problem of capitalism? Capitalism's adverse impact on politics, societal attitudes, and environments are some of the biggest criticisms of the system. And yes of course society should learn to see the futility of these products, but it'd be much easier for people to accept that if these useless companies, and their predatory targeted marketing (especially towards the youth), weren't allowed to exist in the first place. I'd much rather those funds be diverted to actual societal issues like eating disorders.
Meanwhile men's: "Nice a clean T-Shirt"
yeah ok come ny new york and take a look at the men in the city; sad
lol
This made me cry within....I work in producing cosmetics and beauty products, it's an endless journey of what will suit the skin what will not, what's more effective. Despite all this somewhere deep down we would still be doing something about our appearance no matter what. It's so sad but true...really it's exhausting... I get exhausted with my work too sometimes.
I loved how everyone in this was so genuine and honest
Although the social pressures are real and our appearance can affect our status in life...the extent that we perceive the standard to be I think is much higher than in reality. If you have expensive products, constant treatments, extensions etc, nobody will really notice compared to keeping yourself at a basic level of put together. If you keep your nails and hair well groomed, your career will not be affected if you get acrylics and hair treatments every few weeks. The rediculous standard and pressure is often self created.
Lol easy to say when you're attractive 😂
Those who strive for social acceptance using appearances & cosmetics will find out that no matter what they do, it will never be enough..
🤦♂️🤦♀️🤷♂️🤷♀️🧟♀️🧟♂️
Exactly
@@siredward9568i woll breath in your face lol not really dont
@@sandragasman901 Why would you breath on my face?
You can't accept facts?
"You should wear your hair like this all the time" who are you to tell me how to look? I hate this kind of compliment.
then have no compliment at all. its literally saying you look good. its an encouraging advise of self reflection. you can take that from a person, or leave them be.
Its a compliment, they weren’t trying to force you?? Literally you are the worst kind of person people shouldnt even try to make your day better by complimenting you
I get what you're trying to say, people word things wrong, "you hair looks nice today" is better than 'you should dress up more' type of compliment.
Understandable but there's a 90% people don't mean it that way lol
Maybe that hairstyle compliments your face. They meant it as a compliment, ya can take it or leave it
I don't mind if people are going nuts about their looks BUT I HATE if people are judging on others for their looks
14:20
Her: “I have these three chin hairs that are very adventurous”
Me, younger than her: oh just 3? 😑
Udo Ka Right? I have about five times that many I have to pluck every week.
@@kellyfeger sigh, I'm saving up for lazer.🙄
I have to many hair in my chin too, in fact I got to much in my body and this has been something that I hate about me :(
@@ponejito24 I am the same way
Same, the pcos struggle
That statement was shocking for me: why can my husband take a shower and go to work and I can’t ? Is it that they have been educated differently? Are we encouraging this differences?
You'll understand things better if you let go of the idea that everything is socially constructed. There are evolutionary factors at play, men and women do in fact have different mating strategies, and we are, at the core, animals.
@@robbiemedica2652 it's also a culture thing. I live in the Netherlands and many women here don't wear makeup every day and just shower and go to work. Wearing a tshirt and jeans.
@@robbiemedica2652 oh, another priest of evolutionary psychology
@@robbiemedica2652 no we are not animals, we evolved, we have empathy - most of us anyway.
im_so_ bored we are still animals even though we have empathy its a fact
This is something I think about a lot, thank you for sharing it, we forget how subtle sexism is and how much it affects our lives. Also the concept of 'self care'
Who on here remembers the conversations about Hilary Clinton losing against Barack Obama because she wasn't wearing makeup?
I only remember those that said she lost because she was a woman. Even though there is still so much racial prejudice in the US today, Americans would rather put a black man in office than a woman.
Kristi Mosher 🌹I never heard that, I just thought it was because people didn’t want another Clinton in the White House.🌹
@@autumnhomer9786 It was after Obama became the Democratic Primary.
@@thecollector5243 I was working as a caregiver for a woman who was straight up OG feminist, and we watched a forum discussion on this makeup an beauty in american politics on BBC news. We both dont do makeup and were fathomed thos was even an issue.
@@thecollector5243 I think it has more to do with Obama being more charismatic. And because people didn't want another Clinton, like Autum said.
I am 11 and I do NOT care about how people think about my looks, and I think nobody should, nobody deserves to be judged on their looks.
Edit: here again, 2 years later, I’m 13 now. I still love how I look and I hate the texting style 11 y/o me had
Edit: here again, 3 years later, I'm 14 now. Perhaps a little insecure about my whiteheads and teeth but thats about it ^^
Good for you queen but just remember it will get so much harder to do that as you get older. So You’re correct, nobody deserves to be judged on their looks but you will be. it’s just the way things are rn and it’s not gonna change in days it’ll take years and years. So as a teenager rn remembering how I was when I was ur age - stay strong and keep not caring about ur looks.
@@maddieweber8231 Queen of who?
@@r.i2007 herself and her parents and her friends and us :)
(M here) yeah i used to be the same, but when you get to the later years of highschool, you get painfully aware of how you look, and I know people who have been destroyed purely for appearance
Basically the need is to shift from body (or beauty) positivity to body neutrality. It means that you don't give importance to beauty anymore, and define yourself and derive your esteem not by beauty but by your other qualities. Not everyone is beautiful, the body positivity movement tries to expand the meaning of beautiful but at the end of the day crates hierarchies and categories of beauty and centers it again. The only way to be free is completely remove attention from physical beauty.
It's so interesting how while watching this video I was comparing myself to all the women in this video-- thinking about how pretty they were, they didn't even need makeup, etc. It took me about halfway through the video to snap myself out of it and see how I was reinforcing those ideals within myself. Awesome well done video, you folks always do a great job breaking down your topics, and asking your experts all the right questions. Keep up the good work!
This is so important specially because of the perspective of how patriarchy sees us as basically, dolls... Not only for makeup on the face or perfect hair or expectations in the shape of our bodies and clothes, but it can be seen even in the fact that if we don't shave our armpits or legs, we're a target to make fun of... Something so natural, and it's still so far from being seen as normal. And well so many other examples. How adjectives describing us are always related to our looks instead of our abilities, intellectuality, values, etc...
Such an important video. I am 51 and I wish there was content like this when I was younger. It was there, but less of it and this articulates the issue particularly well. "Beauty sickness" is something I have suffered from my whole life and have only recently started to heal from.
“Around fifteen you realize that beauty is pain”
Truth hurts
I'm beautiful and I'm not in any pain, maybe we have different visions of beauty, it is subjective after all.
I am proud to say that I don't wear make up at work and I don't care if I looked stressed or not because impressing other people of how you look or your beauty through make up and stuff is already depressing.
Thank you so much for acknowledging that Vox benefits from these beauty norms, too. I really appreciate your honesty and vulnerability as you tackle this huge, suffocating multi-societal pressure to fit into the “ideal” of appearance. As someone who grew up loathing her appearance, used makeup as a crutch to hide my “imperfections”, and now is on the journey of loving my natural physicality-thank you, thank you, thank you. Means the world. I hope y’all are able to put out more content like this because it means so much to so many of us. We *need* more content like this!