forgiveness is hard
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- Опубліковано 28 чер 2024
- happy holidays to those who celebrate! going into the new year, maybe we can all try to do a lil forgiveness 😌
i finished this painting back in november (and it took me almost two months 🫣). but now that i’m on winter break from school, i finally found the time and brain space to put together a video. emotionally,,, this one took a lot out of me sheesh. thank you all for your patience ❤️
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ABOUT THE PAINTING:
○ title: “trying to forgive”
○ medium: oil paint on canvas
○ size: 36" x 24"
TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 forgiveness is a virtue
2:04 some backstory
5:41 all about love
8:17 i want to forgive
13:16 the painting
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WHERE TO FIND ME:
○ instagram ⤑ / jackieliuart
○ tiktok ⤑ vm.tiktok.com/ZMeFRm3N7/
○ shop (originals + prints + stuff) ⤑ jackieliuart.com/
I have not talked to my dad in 6 months. Tomorrow is his birthday, and people all around me have been telling me to text him and forgive him, but I don't want to. I am scared of him, and I am better without him. And I have never related to a video as much as this one. I don't know if I will ever forgive him, but this video made me think that some day I can. So thank you.
be weary, your first responsibility is towards yourself!
do you really owe him or anybody else anything?
🤗
Forgiveness addresses action(s) but only trust can heal a relationship. Forgiveness is given by the wronged person of their own accord (whether the recipient deserves it or not) but relationship requires 2 or more cooperating parties. If forgiveness is what you're working towards, you can forgive him in your own time without ever having a relationship. If a relationship is what you're hoping for one day, I recommend you explore that possibility only if your father indicates remorse (with clear admissions of his offenses) and reconciliation efforts that respect your boundaries with no expectations of forgiveness or relationship or anything else in return. But no matter what happens, it's all YOUR CHOICE and no one else's. Good luck on your journey 😊
@@thedifferent14 , excellent! very true, 🙏, namaste or whatever, 😅
It is hard to see the light with the mind carrying deep past. I know it's not fair what path people take to live life, save your future by making peace with past. Do what you can to make amends with your past.
You are so brave to be this vulnerable about such a sensitive topic. I love this.
I relate so much to this. I have been trying to figure out how to forgive my dad myself. This video and your beautiful painting absolutely touched me. I’m crying rn but I’m so glad I am because my tears aren’t of grief but of acceptance thanks to your vulnerable expression. I had already decided to speak my vulnerable truth in my next video but seeing you doing it so beautifully has inspired me so much and given me courage to finally do it. I’m very grateful for your presence ❤
My mom watched my stepfather abusing me (in every way possible, so use your imagination) and did nothing. She told the rest of the family I was lying about him, the cops never believed me and threatened to arrest me for filing false reports, my guidance counselors told me I was lying to get out of class. So I had to endure it every day for 9 years. When I was 17 someone finally believed me. And that day when I got home from school he was gone. But what did my mom do? She kicked ME out of the house for weekends and holidays so he could be there (since the state said he was never allowed to have any contact with me ever again whatsoever). I would forgive my mom if she apologized. She always finds a way to turn it around into how bad everything was/is for HER. So I don't forgive her. And I won't. Not until she can admit there is something I should forgive her for.
Dear Jackie you are so well spoken and so talented
I can definitely relate to this because of the relationship of with my dad, it can be hard to forgive or not forgive, I still struggle with it to this day. Thank for being so raw and vulnerable with your audience through your words and beautiful art. ❤️ Have good rest of your 2023 and can’t wait to follow you along on your art journey
Emma
Hey Jackie... you couldn't be more right about trying to forgive. I just turned 35 and had a childhood very similar to yours (Asian families are complicated) except I was adopted by my aunt, my step-dad is American & they had 2 kids together so along with all the abuse, I also felt out of place. They kicked me out at 17, so I moved in with my adoptive father til I could move out as soon as i graduated HS. I didn't speak to them for 5 years before I tried to rectify our relationship. Well, something else happened, and I didn't speak to them for 3 years before i tried again. Then something else happened, and for 7 years, we did not speak. The last few years have been slow but good & in that time I learned I wanted to forgive them for my sake, not theirs. I was tired of carrying it all with me. Everything else in my life was happiness and joy, but they were a black hole in my heart. Hatred, jealousy, and bitterness surrounded their memory, so one day I just said eff it... and tried again but with more confidence & assertiveness & guess what....they apologized & we talked about it more than once. Now I'm slowly letting it all go, learning to be less triggered by their behavior, and trying to figure out how to forgive my adoptive father, who chose his other family over me & lied to me my whole childhood.
Long story longer - it can happen if YOU want it to & letting go of what doesn't serve you is the best feeling in the world... even if it's just a tiny bit at a time. You've got this!
never clicked on a video so fast
One can forgive, let go of all the the pain and anger towards a person, but still be weary of their nature, one can never be sure if they've changed, like if she went back to live with her mom, maybe those demons might spring up again.
acknowledge the events of the past, how you feel about it, what you think about it, what they feel about it or don't.
her story happened, it was real, she should learn from it, not forget it.
Her responsibility is primarily to herself, she wasn't and isn't now her mother's parent, it was supposed to be the other way around, she doesn't owe her anything!
if she does forgive her, it should be first for **herself!
one can also dwell in the past or pain in as much as it doesn't interfere with her life, it might even add to it, her pain and scars are real, so F everybody, she should indulge!
if it does start to interfere with her life, then find help/therapy,
went through some shtick with my also abused mom growing up, had to escape too,
much fraternal love, 🤗
I'm speechless. I don't even know what to comment. You are so young, but so tremendously talented....with visual art, with words, with thought/self-reflection....you are something special. You've turned something ugly again and made it beautiful. Very inspiring.
Beautiful impeccable artwork as usual. The bird feet look so real
I hope you and your mother reconcile you don't want to look back and say what if when she's gone just keep trying..... butt that pain and suffering the way you think and perceive the world you wouldn't have became such a incredible artist
you and your art are amazing, im glad you were able to forgive and move on to a place in life where you are happier
my mom was narcissistic as well and this was such a beautiful video. you’re right forgiveness is a choice you have to choose every day. it’s hard out here.
Forgiveness is for ourselves, not to the people who hurt us. It is difficult to not have any closure or any words spoken at all, the pain is unacknowledged but latches on our souls. In the long run, the grief does not get any smaller but our capacity to love widens. To quote Rina Sawayama's song Forgiveness, "Forgiveness is a winding road." It is a process of ups and downs but we hope to reach a time and place where love is greater than the pain it brought to us. Hoping for your travel to love and forgiveness. 💞
“Forgive, but never forget” at this point don’t even forgive them. Love you art btw, so beautiful love
I haven't finished watching yet. I've just heard you say how you used to imagine opening the passenger door whenever you were in the car with your mom, and that's an impulse I've had so many times throughout my life, but I've never heard anyone else say it until now. It made me realise that I still have it whenever I feel unsafe in vehicles. I feel seen. Thank you for being so open I feel?? so seen?
Stunning painting! And exceptional reflection. You are so talented. I hope you can do some further healing before having kids if you decide to have any. It is quite challenging not to repeat our parents’ mistakes. 💕
Thank you so much Jackie 😭i'm leaving next fall, and i can't wait to say "i made it" by then. i'm trying to forgive
i love this painting and the story behind it , for some reason makes me wanna cry for all the things and people i wanna forgive , even when it's hard to forgive for what they've done .
Those who actively traumatize and abuse individuals aren’t worthy of forgiveness, they shouldn’t be rewarded for their constant wrong doings. I believe forgiveness should be granted to those who have changed through their language and action to better not only themselves but the other ppl around them. People make mistakes but we can’t excuse the mistakes they refuse to acknowledge… no need to forgive people for what they’ve done when they aren’t willing to express any form of compassion and love to redeem those mistakes. We understand and forgive their actions but not who they are, if who they are hasn’t changed then we will not engage. Rather offer yourself the forgiveness of knowing you didn’t deserve that and show yourself and others the love and compassion these people are incapable of. Separate ourselves for thinking we have to forgive everyone. Do love everyone but often times that means loving yourself harder and letting go the evil and horrible people that will ultimately tear themselves apart bc you have to save of the gift you provide for people by being a loving human being :) love u and ur art
you told your story so well!! this is amazing
You are so gifted at expressing yourself through painting and words
this is beautiful painting 🌺Understanding how to forgiveness is confusing to process but in weird way , it kinda helps in the long run 🌟
You are such an amazing artist Jackie and so well spoken too. You are such an inspiration for me! Thanks for another video :)
This came at the perfect time for me. I’ve been really struggling with this idea recently, and my relationship with my dad has been strenuous. Trying to repair it on Facetime calls feels necessarily, but also uncomfortable because I just can’t forget our past. This made me cry, and I really really cannot thank you enough.
I actually missed you😢. I really relate! Forgiveness is freaking haaaaaaard!!!😂
The writing and the narration and the art is all phenomenal.
The painting is absolutely shocking. It completely resembles the way i feel about forgiveness and how i experienced it. A lot of pain at the beginning, and then freedom🌺 I completely admire your strength for sharing all of these thoughts online. Forgiveness will come. You're in the process of it. Therapy helps haha:) I remember about a week before i admitted to my mom that i loved her I told my therapist that I'm tired of making small steps, I wanna be done with it. Little did I know that one week later i would enter the stage of freedom. You're close🦋
thank you for posting this ❤️
I can't express how much i love your artworks and your videos as a whole.
Love that youve been posting more lately!! Love to see it!!! Your work has so much depth. Truly inspiring
I honestly can very much relate. Cause even though my father has fully apologized to me on his own accord after a family argument a year ago, I don't think I was fully able to forgive even if I said that I do. Like, I'm still fully shocked that it happened after I was the one to apologize so many times. Of course, we're all starting to do better, but I still can't shake the feeling off, and it normally has me being awkward around my dad.
You are so incredibly strong, you have been through so much and yet you still seem so open to sharing your past with us and are still so positive. I’m wishing you nothing but the best in your journey to recovering, and I wish you nothing but the best in the future. ❤
That was a ride😢I hope you live a happy life surrounded by loving people because You seem like a wonderful person❤ I love your paintings, please never stop making videos!!!
Aeeee Im always so excited to watch your videos theyre acc so interesting and i love the way you talk and your paintings are so scrumdidlyumptious delicious I actually carefully analyse every stroke you make your work is so gorgeous omg you're such an inspiration mwah mwah mwah
This is so beautiful and transparent. You are honestly one of my favourite artists - not only do you have so much skill and amazing talented but I just love how you tell stories with your art. ❤
I’m trying so hard to forgive my mum, and more then that forgive myself
Beautiful... A lot of us can relate. Thank you for this. Very vulnerable. Very brave. Very appreciated.
Transforming your past is a long process, maybe even never ending, but your present will be lighter and lighter, and that light of the present will accelerate the process.
Your paintings are such inspirations. Thank you for being so courageous and vulnerable
Every video I watch frow you, I feel like I've changed completely after hearing your thoughts. Thank you so much for this experience. You're an incredible artist, Jackie Liu
Wow. Thank you for this video. Many tears were jerked
It's such a powerful thing that you are able to forgive her after the abuse you suffered.
Once again your beautiful words have reached me deeply. I have so much admiration for your work and your personal thoughts and stories.
This is absolutely beautiful!!
Love this and thank you for being so vulnerable and willing to share with the world. Always love your work. But this, is just.... wow. The depth and meaning and I know it helps others. Including myself
this is absolutely beautiful
i needed this today.
forgiveness for me only comes when the other person can know and understand what they did wrong,there asre some people i cant forgive but at the same time im not thinking of those people because they are no longer a part of my life. blood only goes so far. very powerful painting
This is so beautiful!!❤
first youtube video that made me sob. so thanks for that! this was so beautiful. learning more about my father, i've been trying to forgive but i feel as though i've been fighting my feelings about who he was towards me and overall who he was to other people. i always felt like other people got the best of him but i realize that i got the unfiltered him. which was broken and i trusted him to not drop me. silly of me huh? but i truly admire your vulnerability ❤
im sobbing. this is so beautiful
I can’t even imagine how much effort must have went into constructing this. Your work is truly incredible. Thank you for sharing it
Watching your videos as an artist is amazing because one moment im like ‘damn thats deep’ and the next second im like ‘ooo her shadows and shading are so good, and plus that highlight too!’ Love ya❤❤
That is deep and relatable. A parent/s love sometimes is like setting you free to make choices and it can be scary to imagine that life by yourself trying to pick up as you go. Forgiveness is a way to access open doors to destined successful pathways, your process is immeasurable touching. Wish I could hug you deeply and say I'm proud of you and so matured and you know your worth. This is opening up .
i love your art and your videos so much♡
Jackie this really moved me!! It's true what they say about healing not being linear, in fact healing is an ugly F* that we all must face. Yet somehow in this video you've managed to make it appear beautiful
Thank you for being open and sharing your experience, to me you're truly powerful 💖
LOOOOOOOOVE this discourse on a complex topic. Also, I love your intellect
You are a beautiful inside out❤️ a true inspiration😊 you should be really proud of the person you have become🥰
fabulous again
never disappoints
You deal with it bravely, I really like your videos
I love you for this
WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH 😭😭😭
You go girl ❤️
wow ❤🕊
This was a very measured, well spoken piece. Thank you.
needed this
You're amazing♡
early ily❤️ happy xmas eve jackie
Queen
Beautiful
I loved this video 🖤
beautiful.
Honestly for me still like people always say the abusive one were abused like okay it still doesn’t make it okay for you to give it back to me and also for some no matter how many times you tell them I forgive you you’re still aching with the past
Oh mhh gadd u r such a inspiration thankss for inspiring me
Love your content
I wonder if your mom ever watches your videos?
She was unwell the way you’re describing her…so forgiveness will come with compassion. All the best to both of you ❤️🩹
somehow you always seem to find the right words.
wow
DITO
I love it. Really.
Inspirador, muito obrigada.
Forgiveness was the word my ex-lover could not stand having been taken advantage by multiple teens one night in an unsupervised household (the irony is it was a police officer's home). I also thought of you today because I read a woman put a hit on her ex in my area and was caught in an undercover sting, but what stood out to me was she said if the woman's 13-year-old daughter was there, kill her too. I think, from many years of study of latin and religion and pre-historical ideas, forgiveness is about releasing yourself from the prison the grievance places you in. As you know we have a justice system and we bear witness and people stand trial for the crimes they've committed against our persons and the ones they love, till eventually we have a prison state or prison planet. And obviously in the now many such individuals should be incarcerated for they pose a threat based on their inability or unwillingness to cooperate and function without bringing harm to others. But often survivors are called to make sure these people remain behind bars depending on appeals and such. Now imagine if there was a more cosmic system and that say Abel was to constantly stand and bar Cain from release for the act of murder against him, would he too not become chained to the crime and event? So for me, forgiveness is that tough nut decision that determines whether or not you can let go, or take the woman who wants her ex's new lover and daughter killed because she hasn't gotten over the breakup or my ex-lover may have taken out her underlying hatred of men on me because she, although has a valid reason, can't let go or move past it. So I think it becomes more about hate the game not the player if you are to move forward and still allow yourself to be loved and free, and really I feel that's what it is always about, in the face of obvious guilt and wrong, brush it off and own the superiority in knowing you would never stoop to such a level and demonstrate to the world - be that person - that is more worthy of a life that they could never manage.
Edit: Oh and my favorite song on such a topic of fairness and justice: ua-cam.com/video/KmXnuD-JpOs/v-deo.html
The book "sunflower" i think consider the theme of forgiving.....its about deeply human nature of how bitterness rage and grief was rightly felt by many Jews after second World War. Its a book about a young jewish man being asked by a former nazi on his deathbed to be forgiven and all the thoughts this man has about this...a very deep book while working through trauma
Wow
Bro got me tearing up at 11:52 pm
I'm in total rage !!! I mean how can parents themselves treat their children like this ??!! For me it's a complete shock. Like in India we are closest to our parents and even parents don't act like this. Yeah some cases may be out there but I think it's not a common thing in Indian society.
🖤👏
Could you do a video about your art materials?
She already has
I can see why this video made my girlfriend so emotional.
♥️
Kinda random but while I was watching this, a song came to my mind: "I Love You, I Hate You" by Little Simz (I highly suggest listening). I love your videos btw, they are so inspiring.
This hit me like a shit ton of bricks I have a mother exactly like this LIKE EXACTLY LIKE THIS UK ? even though I am like a complete stranger dear jackie ilysm u have no idea. Your videos make me feel heard ukwim ? Keep growing I hope I can buy something from you soon.
Your painting is very beautiful, the most beautiful I remember seeing on your channel. Kindly, please allow me to tell you a few things about the world. When you look at your painting if you notice trauma, or the room is a mess, cloths have skulls or are torn apart know that it's a reflection of what's inside even if you aren't aware of this. Obviously you can just change the situations on the spot by turning things around. For example, it's best a painting like this , then one that has a girl suffering with bugs on her face. Remember, an old painting. I always have things ordered and clean, because I'm aware of this. Also things like bad words (swearings) and lack of forgiveness are something that don't help the human mind or nature. When it comes to forgiveness what I can tell you is that even if you are not upset with somebody, if you know it's dangerous or it was in the past then your best option from the start is to keep distance. Otherwise you are just setting yourself up for being damaged again. Create a good and harmonious environment for yourself and you will be having your small paradise to exist in, while the people that don't follow this advice don't have it. It's nice to see you back, and it's nice to see a painting that doesn't show you are sad. Very beautiful painting. 😊
Fly away,
I open up to what's inside,
Darkness looms,
And yet, my heart!
Still pierces through the night,
Hurt! and pain! crumbles an fades,
Giving way to a more brighter! an beautiful! day,
I open up to what can't be denied,
Hurt! an pain subsides,
And my beautiful! Wings take flight.
🙏prayers go ☝️up pomurephi
xo
영상 잘 보고 갑니다^
I just…👁🫦👁
I think I'm starting to get a crush...
HI, did you use a white color pencil