They are different and I understand that now the question s subject topics are focused on one certain area of mental health so basically that question topic relates to people who have that certain mental health issue today was very helpful to me and others with same mental health issue but to add I liked it being all different questions too
@@nikkimckay860 same, I've found these specific questions helpful because I have related to a lot of them, but I also like the old format with the different questions. When there were a variety of questions, I liked it because there were certain questions I hadn't thought to ask but actually needed answered, or if it didn't relate to me, I liked it cause it educated me on other mental illnesses that I didn't have much or none at all knowledge about.
Timestamps! 0:53 1) Is it normal to have constant thoughts of suicide? Whenever anything goes mildly wrong, or even when nothing is wrong but I feel overwhelmed, self-harm and suicide are always where my mind goes to, even though I've never attempted it. How can I cope with this? Also, does it indicate that... 17:30 2) Can you talk a little bit about the effect of depression on the ability to concentrate? How does the lack of concentration in depression feel, and is it different from the lack of concentration in (for example) ADHD? (COMMENT: As a follow up question, could you talk about mental fog and how it might be... 29:53 3) Do you have any input on dealing with a single parent that has depression as a teenager that still lives at home? I feel like no one talks about this and it is really hard to live day by day because I am just worried all of the time, not about their physical safety but just the thought of them never being happy again... 38:37 4) How can I finally defeat depression once and for all? I´ve been struggling with depression for almost as long as I can remember. I´ve had my lowest lows and I can say I'm lucky enough right now not to be completely surrounded by that dark fog that feels like it's taking every part of myself... 43:26 5) I know suicidal thoughts and depression are different, and that you can have depression without suicidal thoughts, but is it possible to have suicidal thoughts but not depression? I have almost constant thoughts of suicide, and am very anxious but I don’t think I’m depressed and I don’t understand... 46:05 6) Could you talk about chronic depression and SI? I have struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts for as long as I can remember and even when things are a little better, those thoughts are still there. Will they ever go away or is this something I just have to learn to manage? I have been in therapy... 52:39 7) How do you validate yourself when you have high functioning depression? Being able to do things makes me feel as though I'm crazy, I feel bad internally but externally I am still able to do things and do them well even. I'm in counseling and I find it difficult to portray my depressive symptoms... 57:33 8) I am glad to see you are trying new things for the podcast. This time seems like it would work better for me. I know you strongly discourage it but is it possible to work through mild suicidal thoughts on your own? If you do not feel comfortable telling anyone or your therapist about it? 1:00:15 9) I went to a mental health training and we learned what to do if someone is suicidal. We ask 3 questions. 1. Do you have a specific way of doing it? 2. Do you have a specific date? 3. Do you have the means prepared to do it? This hit me hard because I can answer yes to...
@@MarioRossi-sh4uk … these are the viewer questions from the video that she answered, with time stamps of what part of the video. They aren’t questions from me! I think Kati cares a lot about this community and wants to help as much as she can. You sound upset; I hope you are doing OK!
I have had chronic suicidal ideation since I was a kid, and my therapist and I have considered the fact that it comes from my understanding that I was really struggling as a kid, and I had no way to change my situation. Emotional neglect led me to feeling like suicidal thoughts were the only way to escape. I didn’t get help with that part of my mental health until I was in my 30’s so they’re really ingrained and are still one of my most common ways of coping in the moment. I’ve only been hospitalized twice, and that was the result of a few conversations with my therapist. I had all of the agency in the situation. We talked about why I had refused before, and what it would be like.
It was so interesting when you compared the difficulties of concentrating when you are depressed, to when you think something is boring. I never thought of that before, but it totally makes sense, because when you're depressed everything is kind of boring. Thank you for everything you do, it's amazing to have this resource available that you create! 🥰
I have persistent depressive disorder and all of my therapists act like I have my life together because I have a job and relationships. The last one was like "You should be proud! Some people can't get out of bed!" And I was like "Be proud I have depression???" Maybe I should just start spending all day in bed so a therapist will take me seriously. 🙄
I have major trust issues and I'm afraid of having my agency taken from me. So telling a psychologist or any other mental health provider the full truth even though it would probably be boring to them would be really hard if not almost impossible. I edit myself when around people I keep what I think to myself because if I tell them they might not like me. I'm a boring person who hasn't actually lived. I'm afraid of being locked up against my will. I have these daydreams where I've thought it all out. If I was locked up by someone I trusted I would do every legal thing I could to get back at them. I would spend every last penny and my dying breath to hurt them like they hurt me. I know it's really stupid and screwed up. I typed all of this out and then edited it and then struggled to post it for like 30 mins.
I edit for others especially when it comes to trusting anyone with my inner self and thoughts. I feel for you and hope for help to trust others eventually.
I’m watching this video tonight and I’m feeling very affirmed in my struggles. It is difficult to deal with suicidal thoughts on a regular basis. But it isn’t the end of the story and things can get better. Thank you Kati.
I like the new themed questions. They easily flow from one question to the next. And they seem to answer questions I had about the previous question. Thank you for all your do Kati.
Thank you Kati for everything.❤️ I am recently suffering from brain fogs. Dark clouds 24/7. Low stamina and strength 24/7, doesn't matter how healthy I eat or proper workout I do.
Thank you so much for answering my question which was number 8. The one time I didnt put anything about how grateful I am for everything you do on youtube. I am sure it has helped countless people including myself.
I really like this new format. Having said that, I have to say that safety contracts, just for me, are stupid. I know for a lot of people they’re helpful, but I’ve always thought to myself “do you really think this piece of paper is going to stop me?” To me, it’s more of a CYA thing. Maybe it’s because I grew up in an extremely controlled home with a narcissistic mom. As well as CSA and sexual trauma in college. I absolutely loathe to feel like I’m not in control of every tiny piece of my life. I just felt that I needed to put this out there. I love these podcasts and they do truly help me feel less crazy or messed up because I can see that I’m not alone.
24:00 - Disclaimer: Not a Lawyer. To add to getting accommodations at work- Document, Document, Document. Any interaction you have with your employer, HR, etc. write down the bullet points of what was said and who was in the room or was around where the conversation was taking place and follow up with an email of said conversation with your employer. This will help you in case something happens in regard to your employment.
You've heard expression, "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger." Wrt ADHD and selective focus I like to say, "What doesn't thrill me takes me longer."
Hi again, good to see content on depression and suicide available to everyone! Informing people on how to access support and crisis management is so important. Thanks Kati
Ive had suicidal thoughts for over a year i went to my Doc he gave me meds taken them for a while no diff he up ed the Amount of meds at the same time i went to councelling 12 weeks it was for that lenght of time finished it dident miss a weak long story short if i could only get the house to myself for a few hours id end it im done with this shit trying and trying its unlucky we get this shit but its beaten me Dublin ireland 😢😢
Thank you for addressing this! Like so many other issues, it's so sad that "means" comes into the discussion before treatment. For-profit healthcare = for-profit homicide.
Ahh this is amazing kati thank you so much for using my idea for the videos❤️❤️ thank you for your videos, they're always so helpful and you make us feel so validated ❤️ Hugs, Eli xx
I talked with my therapist about suicidal ideation in one of the first few sessions. That helped me knowing what my therapist thinks about that topic and she said in which case she would hospitalize someone. I am glad I told her what my opinion is and I would never do it.
I used to have quite severe OCD and one of the major components was constant intrusive suicidal thoughts, sometimes in an impulsive manner like the person mentioned ex. thinking about jumping in front of the subway. I was also depressed but I was terrified of these thoughts and there were compulsions that came along with it, which is how in hindsight I know it was OCD (plus there were a bunch of other obsessions/compulsions that were not related to suicide). I would miss exams and other important things because I thought if I left the house I would jump in front of the subway or else find the means to commit suicide. I was diagnosed with it too but then one of the compulsions became constant research about OCD and re-reading the DSM-5 OCD section hundreds if not thousands of times, over and over again to reassure myself that it was just OCD and I wasn't going to kill myself. I think this is actually when I found you, Kati, because I would watch youtube videos about it as well. I was also afraid that it was BPD like the person who wrote in so I would also re-read the section on BPD too to check if it fit me. It's complicated though because I had genuine suicidal thoughts before and after this period (I've been hospitalized for them 5 times), sometimes during too, so it was tricky to determine which ones were real and which were not but the vast majority at this time were intrusive OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of this applies to the person who wrote in but just wanted to point out that obsessions and compulsions CAN centre around suicide.
hi!! im the one with the question youre referencing and i do the exact same thing with the obsessively re-reading the dsm criteria for bpd and ocd, and a lot of other things you mentioned, like not going to school/leaving the house out of fear that youd attempt. i have a few other obsessive compulsions (balancing out my finger’s movements, checking my phone notifications, etc). should i check this out with my therapist?? im asking you because you know what its like in the head of ocd. (also thank you for this comment it was super validating)
@@cowboylikeemily hello!! of course, I'm glad you found it helpful! It's an under-recognized type of OCD so I think it's important to spread awareness. I would definitely bring up any type of suicidal thoughts in therapy, regardless of whether or not you think they're related to OCD, but I would also suggest the possibility that it could be OCD to your therapist because a lot of clinicians aren't aware of this sub-type and their minds may not immediately go there. I was terrified that I'd be hospitalized (all of my hospitalizations came later as a result of bipolar so it would have been a completely new experience at the time), and I've read about cases where that has happened and it made treatment much more difficult. OCD is actually the main issue that brought me to therapy so I specifically looked for an OCD specialist to prevent this, but if that's not one of your therapist's areas of expertise, I would just go into the session prepared with some resources to show them so that they take it seriously and recognize it as a real manifestation of OCD. If you google "suicidal OCD" quite a few websites pop up that have some great info. I would also google "Y-BOCS" which is an OCD rating scale and maybe fill it out beforehand to show your therapist. "Fear might harm self" is literally the very first obsession on the page which I think legitimizes it to others, but I also found it helpful because I had a bunch of other obsessions on the list that I was bothered by but I had no idea they could be part of OCD until I filled it out. You'll still need a proper assessment by a suitable professional to determine whether or not you have it, but I really think it's worth looking into. I never would have moved past this cycle without a diagnosis, even though I knew exactly what therapy for it would entail and in theory could have just done it alone. I would say that the validation I felt from my diagnosis and my therapist's re-assurance each session that it was "just" OCD was probably the most crucial component of my recovery because when these thoughts were treated as a genuine desire to end my life by other professionals I'd seen previously, it really just fed into my fear and made it harder to overcome. My only caveat to doing the types of research I mentioned is that you do NOT want it to become excessive and form a new compulsion as this just makes it worse. I probably filled out the Y-BOCS at least 100 times (even though my answers were the same) just to get reassurance, and I would strongly recommend doing your best to limit it right from the start if you think it could become an issue. Sorry this was so long, I just have a lot to say and there aren't many people openly talking about their experiences with this form of OCD so I think it's really important to discuss. I hope it helps/goes well if you do decide to bring it up in therapy :)
Kati Morton.i really needed this AKA podcast today and right now more than other podcast s this today's subject and topic really hits home for me I can understand and relate to things in each person s question iv never stopped feeling thankful for finding you and your channel you have a beautiful soul ❤️
For me (depressed person), my lack of concentration/lack of focus is much like when I have a bad cold or a fever and can't make decisions or think like I do when my depression is very much under control. But this is just how it is with me. Others may feel it differently.
@@catlynnearkin8825 - And that lack of focus has REALLY impacted my reading. I used to always have a book on the go but for the past 3 years, I am lucky if I can get through one book a year. It sucks so badly.
I wish there were some kind trustworthy people I could tell what I think and feel, and they would keep it in a safe place and up to date. It would make me feel known and like I was worth something.
Hey Kati, I suffered an incident at work that caused PTSD and I had terrible depression, anxiety and PTSD symptoms over the last five years. I missed over 9 months before I was able to return to work and began the process of return to work. During this process I was working through these issues in therapy and got me to a point where I could manage myself with the return to work. However something was stopping us from progressing further to address the trauma. So my therapist essentially positioned that I could live with the work that we have done and I could manage but unless the trauma was addressed it would be unlikely it would ever get better. So we decided to try to address the trauma so I could get better. After we started working on my trauma I discovered a childhood trauma that was suppressed. Since we have discovered that trauma COVID happened and I lost access to my therapist. I was never suicidal throughout my entire life even with the PTSD, anxiety and depression. However, since I have restored this suppressed trauma I am struggling constantly with the thought of suicide. I'm just unsure how to live my life knowing about what happened. I have recently began seeing a licensed psychotherapist through my family doctor as my previous therapist became unavailable through circumstance. My concern is this all-consuming urge that comes with the trigger of the suppressed trauma and I feel like I am starting at scratch with my new therapist. I'm just not sure how much I should be rehashing previous things with the new therapist that I was able to work through or should I continue fresh and focus on this suppressed trauma?
Hi Edward, I can relate to what you're saying. I suffered PTSD as a frontline worker during the pandemic and as a consequence of that was sent to a recovery programme for 2 weeks. We did stuff like art and drama therapy and group talks and a lot of buried stuff came up for me. I felt like a shaken soda bottle with all this forgotten stuff from the past bubbling up! I have a feeling that trauma from childhood sets us up for anxiety and depression later in life because something happened when we were too young to deal with it and the trauma affects our mindset and behaviour as adults. I think it's best if you discuss all your concerns with your new therapist. I'm sure your new therapist has your medical records from your previous therapist and you may not have to start all over again. Start with where you are. I wish you well with your soul work and hope that healing will come for you soon. All the best!
My psychiatrist told me the genetic tests for psych meds don't actually tell you which meds will work but simply how quickly your body metabolizes the meds to better identify the therapeutic dosing for your body when they try a med.
After listening to Dr. Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning" I decided not to stop suicidal ideation. I marked the gps coordinates on my Google earth and labeled it, "Decided Not to Kill Myself". It felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I no longer consider the circumstances where/when I might do it. For example, terminal illness, catastrophic loss, etc. I no longer pause to daydream at high places, holding firearms or rope, driving fast, when it's really cold out... It liberated me! Now, I walk right by that window. The curtains have been drawn.
Hi Katie! When you were describing someone who has always had a safe support system and the “perfect life,” I resonated with that life as I feel my family and friends have always been there for me and I haven’t had any major turmoil in my life. However, when you said at 11:21 that a person with that life wouldn’t have suicidal thoughts, I wondered why I might experience them even though I do feel I have that life. Obviously not every aspect of my life and relationships is perfect, but for the most part they are. I’ve never attempted and I have no plan to, but whenever I mess up mildly, I feel terrible guilt and my first thoughts are self harm or suicide related, even though I never act them out. Do you have any ideas why this could be even though I have no obvious issues in my life? Thanks for all you do!
Another question: my whole life I’ve always responded to making minor (or major) mistakes with immense amounts of guilt that is all consuming, even when what I’ve done barely looks wrong from the outside. I can’t imagine not responding like that, and I can’t imagine anyone else responding differently. Are there people who don’t respond like this and is it possible to become one of those people?
Check out the Crappy Childhood Fairy in UA-cam. She explains this so that you can start working on it. A great free resource. She has paid features, but I've never used them and I've benefited greatly from her insight and validation. It's hard to change our mindset of blaming ourselves, but working on it can help alot so these thoughts are fewer and farther between.
Hi Kati. A while back i watched a video of u when u were going through a rough time and this is one of ur newest videos ive seen. I really got worried about u! I hope ur doing better now? 🌸
You often get what you pay for and many of the cheap/free resources can make things WORSE, like EAP (Employee Assistance Program) for example. If money is an issue, you might want to listen to Tim Fletcher, providing, of course, that you are getting anti-depressants if you need them. There are some amazing free resources on UA-cam, but you have to use your instincts and be selective.
11:00, I have that ideal life and support system. I have everything that most suicidal people think they need to stop being suicidal. I still want to die every single second of the day.
I have zero time to watch these, which is sad :C I get suicide thoughts a lot, they never result to anything tho, but its been getting worst (like its developing into something else) I hate it, life is so messy sometimes and nothing ever waits for you. I want to sit down and talk to someone. Hearing about everything that people writes in the comments is nice. means that I'm not alone :)
Guess I got this week's set of questions. wrong I thought the subject and topic .was therapy and your experience with therapy I only just seen that this week's AKA podcast is about. Depression and thought of suicide this topic .really relates to me I have questions about depression to add iv had suicidal. Thoughts last year iv had meany suicidal thoughts it involved me constantly having thoughts and taking tablets and other ways to harm myself though. These past years iv been and felt so alone and struggling on and off everyday my friends are online .Friends I have no close friend s that .Are there for me and I'm still waiting to get back into therapy for help I really appreciate this AKA podcast this Thursday Kati just hearing her voice .And listening to her very helpful caring advice means so much to me I'm still getting these horrible negative and thoughts of suicide sometimes it never fully go s away it's different and not easy struggling alone when uk doesn't seem to have a good mental health system 😢much love to everyone here❤️
I have such a wonderful support system and i do live a Pretty nice life, but thoughts of Self injury are always in the back of my mind when something happens or if I'm feeling overwhelmed.
I had episode so bad this CB past Saturday where I actually called the police telling them I was about to go. They haven’t been taking my complaint of sexual assault seriously and I couldn’t stop the feeling this was causing me. It’s just like someone pushing you to do it, actually the police and the other institutions.
So I struggle with eupd and affective personality disorder and have done since 2006 I've got mental health team i see regular and support worker and on medication yet im still thinking of death and when in that state I can't distract myself . Here in UK total different I've tried taking my life a good few times reason I'm waiting on a bed
I have heard from many therapists who specialize in childhood sexual abuse that suicidal ideation is almost always present. It probably is prevalent in other types of trauma, too. I have an issue with using the term "mental disorders." The only thing that is disordered is the bullshit we were subjected to by others when we were younger. All of our responses to this shit is normal. Sorry for the rant. Hope the best for everyone who suffers.
I feel like the suggestions, past experiences with mental health problems are coming from a book. I don't want to go into detail what I am diagnosed with, but when I see you discuss radical views on life such as suicide, I see your lips moving and hear spelling words bringing up previous patients experiences, but I just can't feel your comprehension of what you are saying - possibly due to lack of experience as you mentioned, you have never dealt with suicidal thoughts personally. Also saying that the person's mother has to save herself and "one can't light themselves on fire to keep someone else warm" describes your whole view on these things. One doesn't have to light themselves to keep someone warm. They could just bring them into a warm environment. But that's just too much work for therapists, psychiatrists, family members, friends, because they just don't care. They just don't want to deal with that person to that extent. Just like Dr. Alok Kanojia (a psychiatrists and neurologist look him up on youtube) said: therapists, psychiatrists don't want to take responsibilities because they are afraid how it will affect them and their reputation in the future if they reach too deep into the patient's mental health state. But even he agrees that this factor in the mental health care must improve in order to see improvements as well in patients. And from my past experiences with several therapists, psychiatrists and the system, I agree with him. When I mention that I am suicidal, the professionals just send me away or they don't even want to go deep into my problems just prescribe medication and that's all. They are all afraid which I understand, but they really shouldn't spread lies that we can be honest with them and we can trust them and in the end it will be them who will turns us away, because they measure that the risk is too high. Now I am not saying the way mental health care is spread around the world in average is not effective, there are people with different problems who definitely benefit from it. But there are still a lot of people who need help and for them, the current options are just not enough. I think saying "one can't be helped, one must save himself/herself, it's not your responsibility" is completely wrong and probably even unethical for a professional like you. The person can't save himself/herself because the person doesn't have the ability, and is in need of help maybe even intervention. If you are a normal person, seeing someone collapse right in front of you, sure it is not your responsibility to call the ambulance and you can say "It's not my responsibility, the person must save himself", but that tells a alot about your character. It's like saying someone with a fever of 105 should go to the doc and get himself checked out. The person has legs, has a phone, has arms (goes to therapies, has medication) so what's up? Yeah, but the person is basically comatose with that high fever and can barely speak, but you can say "It's not my responsibility to get him better", while you watch him vomit and choke on it. It's the exact same thing with mental health. You can't expect the person to just "save himself/herself" and be done with that. This is a ridiculous advice, especially from a professional. We are talking about people with sickness, mental health related. Just because they are not apparent for you physically it doesn't mean it's not there. But really, it shouldn't be me highlighting it for you. This is why I feel the words coming from you have no gravity for you, because it feels like you are quoting from books, quoting past patients - but frankly you have no emotional comprehension of the subject, which I think should be required for therapists and psychiatrists. Kinda like having 3 maths equations and you start listing the variables say x,y,z but you actually don't know how they interact with each other, what they are for. That said, there is a lot of truth to what you have said, some are even hurting, but truth is raw.
I’m so sorry you’ve had this experience with professionals. Have you tried a support group of some sort? Getting around others in general or who have been there and are currently going through the same things can be helpful to some. Even if just finding one person who will listen. Then there’s a support system of some sort which is more personal rather than a “doctor-like” approach looking at a case or liability. This is tough and you are not alone. Please know that.
@@deborahfairburn6585 I'm Nikki I just want to share care support and advice to anyone who needs it hello can I just say I completely agree this AKA podcast topic is so needed right now
There actually is suicide be OCD. Somebody that I heard talk about their experiences with it said that she would get intrusive thoughts about suicide a lot even though she didn’t want to commit suicide and wasn’t even depressed and she would get very distracted by the start. Her compulsions were mentally reviewing images of something happening to her and if she was sad upset by it and she was reassured that she didn’t actually want to commit suicide
Another great episode, but I disagree with using no harm contracts as she suggested in question 1. That's old school and no longer recommended because they are ineffective and they increase legal liability for the therapist. No Harm contracts are a disaster for both client and therapist.
Hey, can I ask you a question OK? Is it good to have suicide thought since she was 10 now I’m 13. I have doubts all the time and also I love fighting with my sister me and her got fighting two times last night.
Hy Katy Dr.❤️ I'm 20yr old....having depression, anxiety all those trauma stuffs, panic attacks, toxic parents, etc etc....had attempted 2-3 suicides before .... I had suicidal thoughts and actually attempted on 17th October by overdosing panadol extra of 24 tablets (500mg n 65mg caffeine) at once ....I had severe vomiting and went to the hospital just saying that I had continuous vomiting just by eating food ....so they had some tests , gave an injection for vomiting and said that there's some acidity in stomach so gave some med....is that fine not being treated for actual cause?
Depressed people are NOT fatigued. I have chronic fatigue and - because therefor my life broke down- depression. But the psychologic energy has nothing to do with physical fatigue. Why do I emphasise this? Because here in Germany you are forced to do sports with depression and this method kills people with me/cfs (fatigue).
I had a severed depression and l am suicidal thoughts everyday and also with anxieties but l dont have a planned yet eventually l will do it's a matter of time. I don't feel any joy anymore and l do have brainfog but this depression l have instead sleeping and cannot sleep l am a patient at a psychiatrist clinic.
Hello Kati, I was hoping you could give us more information about the comment you made @ 16:57 minute mark. You said that the suicidal thoughts can be around our struggle with identity. I have BPD and I never thought that the suicidal thoughts could be linked to not knowing who I really am.
I disagree on the part of the explanation at 22:31. I do not have depression, but I do have ADHD. I can, and often do, try for a long period of time to focus and it often just is not working because of executive dysfunction from ADHD.
Words can not convey how I feel. My brain wiring is so blown. I can not sleep at all only with taking a massive amount of sedatives and their effectiveness is wearing off. My brain feels like it is has been banged awake and is throbbing, infact the whole nervous ystem of my body feels like it is the same, throbbing, on edge, can not relax. I take all my tablets at night and hopefully get knocked out and then waken the next morning to this brain again that can not relax. My whole brain feels like a strangers and it no longer works in the fantastic way it used to. I know I have a type of fatal insomnia and I am in fear of what lies ahead of me. I do not think any persn has ever lived feeling like I do. I have lost the most wonderful and beautiful life.
It was 4 years ago that I felt like the people you are trying to help today. Thank goodness I did not hear this sermon then - frankly you do not have a clue.
I've only been seeing my therapist for just under 3 months and it is SO HARD to mention my suicidal thoughts. I did once, and that felt great, but I feel like to bring it up again would be 'dramatic' or akin to beating a dead horse. I don't want to focus on them but on the flip side, the silence and associated shame seems to make them worse. Tunnel Vision is my MO (modus operandi) these days, "what do I want to do before I go?" At least I'm getting things done, lol, but it doesn't seem like the healthiest way to go about life. Worse is my productivity could be mis-interpreted as 'getting better' as Question 7 hinted at. I volunteer, I'm teaching myself to paint......and I'm safeguarding my 'method' and putting together a plan. Maybe I just feel better having an escape hatch and hopefully will never act on it. ? Anyway, great discussion and thanks!!
I wrote a long comment but UA-cam keeps deleting it automatically after a few seconds. I didn't find any words that could be seen as problematic. I don't understand it. Is there a word limit? All my precious energy (I have ME/CFS and I'm bedbound) wasted for nothing. I know it's not your fault Kati. I just felt like sharing after I've seen the video and now I'm sad my message doesn't get through.
I feel disrespected insulted I feel overwhelmed I am unhappy stressed out I live a group home with people who have different disabilities One of the residents sees and talks to invisible people, one residents is very obnoxious, bossy mostly to Mr they become the food police they tell everyone mostly me how much they are allowed to eat I have both ADHD and Autism so sometimes I get annoyed and really emotional sometimes I don't hope that I don't wake up I didn't have these type of thoughts until the two residents moved in the one who sees and talks invisible people, it's mostly the resident who bosses me around and becomes the food police I was happy until moved in Sorry for the long comments and the horrible grammar.
Why is it such a big deal for people to talk about suicide? Why are they taking it too seriously talking about it? Why are they afraid to die? Why do people need to live? Why is it important to live? Do I really need to do a journal? I feel like it makes me overthink things more?
Wow.. yeah, you haven't had suicidal thoughts; so you can never understand it, if you haven't experienced it.. these superficial answers are from someone who has never experienced the sheer horror of ideation..
(Someone wants to go out and get killed which would be Person #1) Person #1: (whispering) I’m going out to get hit by a vehicle. Person #2: (after hearing the whisper and therefore holding onto Person #1 super tight) No! Don’t leave this place! Person #1: SHUT THE ****UP AND LET GO OF ME! LET GO! LET GO, PLEASE! (Person #2 persistently shakes his/her/their head.) Person #1: OHH, I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! Person #2: Why? Person #1: BECAUSE YOU WON’T SET ME FREE! YOU’RE ONLY HOLDING ME PRISONER BY KEEPING ME ALIVE!!!!!!!!!
I NEED HELP!!!! We have a daughter that is terribly misguided by todays media and thinks she’s this or that. When the reality is she’s 13 and doesn’t know what she is. She’s started cutting, she lies. She thinks pedophiles deserve rights. She thinks she’s non-binary. It’s a mess. My question is how can we best handle this? She’s seeing a therapist.
(Not an Expert) try taking it one step at a time, find things that she likes. Take her away slowly from social media/media. Get her to have fun and forget about all that stuff. Support her with whatever she wants, but always explain the bad or good sides of things. Let her experiment, but always be there as a safety rope for her.
It sounds like you are really afraid for your kid because you love your kid so much. You want to keep doing the parenting thing the way you did when your child was little - teach the right answers, correct their mistakes. At the age of 13, though, your kid’s developmental stage means they are trying to figure out who they are on their own, apart from what their parents think they should be. This is a hard and scary transition! But it is also normal and healthy. (The cutting is not normal and healthy, of course! But the impulse to individuate is.) Another thing that is going on is that your child is in some pain. Kati always talks about self-harm as a coping strategy. It can be used to demonstrate to those around us that we are hurting inside, because we are not getting the care that we need in some way. I know you are trying your hardest! But we can’t automatically know what another person needs from us to feel better so it could be that, despite your best intentions, you are not meeting your kid’s emotional needs in the exact way their system needs you to. Cutting can also be done to make the emotional pain less because for some people cutting releases endorphins to tamp down the physical pain of the cut, which also tamps down the emotional pain. And it can be a distraction from the emotional pain to cause physical pain to focus on instead. So why is your kid in such pain? Their opinion about p*doph*les is a bit of a red flag. It’s possible they just mean that if a person has urges to hurt kids in that way but controls themself and never acts on the urges, that person should not be shunned. Fair enough, though personally I think it is important for that person to always be in the care of mental health pros and to stay away from kids for everyone’s safety. But also it is possible that your child might have been abused and that opinion is their mind’s way to make sense of what happened to them. If your kid’s therapist doesn’t already know, maybe communicate that and have the therapist ask your kid about that. Finally, is your kid non-binary, is your kid “this and that” or is that just the media? Again, your kid is discovering who they are. They might actually be non-binary. The fact that it is more commonly accepted these days to come out as non-binary is not CAUSING more kids to be non-binary. It is just giving kids who don't feel they fit into the "male" or "female" categories some language for how they feel, and showing them that others will accept them if they talk about it. Nothing bad will happen if you stop trying to convince your kid they are not non-binary. And if you keep trying to tell your kid you know what's in their head better than they do, that will make them feel misunderstood, angry and hurt. From the way you asked this question, I get the sense that your fear for them MIGHT be coming out of you in a way that they will interpret as anger and rejection. Acceptance is the very best medicine for kids who are, or think they might be, LGBTQ. Kids whose families accept them are way less likely to be depressed or attempt suicide. So please. Let them tell you who they are. Find a really calm version of yourself that just wants to be curious and listen to them. (This might require some therapy for you, or family therapy sessions to help this conversation go better. It's OK to have your own feelings about all this but your kid is not the one to process those feelings with.) Use the name and pronouns they want you to use. (A good way to get better at this is to practice talking about your kid out loud in your car using the correct name and pronouns - it helps the correct pronoun flow better when you're having a real conversation about your kid later.) And, if they change their mind later, that is OK too! Sometimes we have to live with a version of our gender for awhile and see how it feels when others respect that gender and address us the way we want, to see if it really fits. Let them update you and take any updates with the same respect and acceptance. The organizing principle of all this advice is: You want to show your kid that you understand they are their own person with their own feelings, and that you are curious about who they will become and will love them no matter what. You also want them to know you can hear anything they need to tell you and take in any info about stuff that may have happened to them without freaking out. This is all super hard, so get some support for yourself. Let me know if you have any questions. I'll be thinking of you and your family and hoping you're all doing well.
For a therapist to repeatedly ask about "means and a plan" is stupid. Do they not realize that if you formed a plan it is almost always centered around the means. Then, therapists act as if once the crisis subsides the plan and means go away too. Think about it, you only have to plan once and that will serve you for the rest of your life... however long that may be.
There should be more compassion here..should say “no this isn’t Normal”. The person is already feeling out of sorts. It’s very normal! For some it is they’re everyday. Since I was young I’ve had these thoughts of suicide, a normal reaction to an insane world where some feel like they don’t fit in. You could say the insanity of this world/the mind/the ego and identification with the mind and it’s thoughts is very normal but still insane. Recovery starts with compassion and love and it starts with ourselves. If you are having thoughts of suicide/leaving an insane world for a better world, it’s normal. It’s normal to not want to be in an insane Asylum. “Life is suffering, to thrive is to find meaning in the suffering” Buddha
Sadly, therapists rely too heavily on their education rather than learning directly from their patients. They usually come across as condescending, particularly when they imply that "you don't fit the mold" we created. And you're right. No one cares.
I like these themed aka!!
Awesome! Thanks for the note :)
They are different and I understand that now the question s subject topics are focused on one certain area of mental health so basically that question topic relates to people who have that certain mental health issue today was very helpful to me and others with same mental health issue but to add I liked it being all different questions too
Me too! 😊
I like the old format
@@nikkimckay860 same, I've found these specific questions helpful because I have related to a lot of them, but I also like the old format with the different questions. When there were a variety of questions, I liked it because there were certain questions I hadn't thought to ask but actually needed answered, or if it didn't relate to me, I liked it cause it educated me on other mental illnesses that I didn't have much or none at all knowledge about.
Timestamps!
0:53 1) Is it normal to have constant thoughts of suicide? Whenever anything goes mildly wrong, or even when nothing is wrong but I feel overwhelmed, self-harm and suicide are always where my mind goes to, even though I've never attempted it. How can I cope with this? Also, does it indicate that...
17:30 2) Can you talk a little bit about the effect of depression on the ability to concentrate? How does the lack of concentration in depression feel, and is it different from the lack of concentration in (for example) ADHD? (COMMENT: As a follow up question, could you talk about mental fog and how it might be...
29:53 3) Do you have any input on dealing with a single parent that has depression as a teenager that still lives at home? I feel like no one talks about this and it is really hard to live day by day because I am just worried all of the time, not about their physical safety but just the thought of them never being happy again...
38:37 4) How can I finally defeat depression once and for all? I´ve been struggling with depression for almost as long as I can remember. I´ve had my lowest lows and I can say I'm lucky enough right now not to be completely surrounded by that dark fog that feels like it's taking every part of myself...
43:26 5) I know suicidal thoughts and depression are different, and that you can have depression without suicidal thoughts, but is it possible to have suicidal thoughts but not depression? I have almost constant thoughts of suicide, and am very anxious but I don’t think I’m depressed and I don’t understand...
46:05 6) Could you talk about chronic depression and SI? I have struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts for as long as I can remember and even when things are a little better, those thoughts are still there. Will they ever go away or is this something I just have to learn to manage? I have been in therapy...
52:39 7) How do you validate yourself when you have high functioning depression? Being able to do things makes me feel as though I'm crazy, I feel bad internally but externally I am still able to do things and do them well even. I'm in counseling and I find it difficult to portray my depressive symptoms...
57:33 8) I am glad to see you are trying new things for the podcast. This time seems like it would work better for me. I know you strongly discourage it but is it possible to work through mild suicidal thoughts on your own? If you do not feel comfortable telling anyone or your therapist about it?
1:00:15 9) I went to a mental health training and we learned what to do if someone is suicidal. We ask 3 questions. 1. Do you have a specific way of doing it? 2. Do you have a specific date? 3. Do you have the means prepared to do it? This hit me hard because I can answer yes to...
Ur the best!!!!!
THANK YOUUUUUU
Honestly, did you think she was going to reply to all your questions ? She only wants subscriptions and likes.
@@MarioRossi-sh4uk … these are the viewer questions from the video that she answered, with time stamps of what part of the video. They aren’t questions from me! I think Kati cares a lot about this community and wants to help as much as she can. You sound upset; I hope you are doing OK!
@@andreafeelsfantastic 😭
I have had chronic suicidal ideation since I was a kid, and my therapist and I have considered the fact that it comes from my understanding that I was really struggling as a kid, and I had no way to change my situation. Emotional neglect led me to feeling like suicidal thoughts were the only way to escape. I didn’t get help with that part of my mental health until I was in my 30’s so they’re really ingrained and are still one of my most common ways of coping in the moment.
I’ve only been hospitalized twice, and that was the result of a few conversations with my therapist. I had all of the agency in the situation. We talked about why I had refused before, and what it would be like.
Sending you so much love. It's so hard feeling like we don't have control, and seeing this as the only escape.
It was so interesting when you compared the difficulties of concentrating when you are depressed, to when you think something is boring. I never thought of that before, but it totally makes sense, because when you're depressed everything is kind of boring. Thank you for everything you do, it's amazing to have this resource available that you create! 🥰
I have persistent depressive disorder and all of my therapists act like I have my life together because I have a job and relationships. The last one was like "You should be proud! Some people can't get out of bed!" And I was like "Be proud I have depression???" Maybe I should just start spending all day in bed so a therapist will take me seriously. 🙄
you have high functioning depression. That's what I have.
Conversations like this make me feel much more comfortable on this planet! Thank you 🫶🏽
I have major trust issues and I'm afraid of having my agency taken from me. So telling a psychologist or any other mental health provider the full truth even though it would probably be boring to them would be really hard if not almost impossible. I edit myself when around people I keep what I think to myself because if I tell them they might not like me. I'm a boring person who hasn't actually lived. I'm afraid of being locked up against my will. I have these daydreams where I've thought it all out. If I was locked up by someone I trusted I would do every legal thing I could to get back at them. I would spend every last penny and my dying breath to hurt them like they hurt me. I know it's really stupid and screwed up. I typed all of this out and then edited it and then struggled to post it for like 30 mins.
Congrats for the bravery to post!
You're not boring, that's what you're struggling with talking. It is a feeling that effects a lot of people dealing with mental health struggles.
There should be a way to talk to a therapist and know it is actually safe.
You're a great writer at expessing yourself.
This is a great therapeutic tool for you.
Keep it up!
I edit for others especially when it comes to trusting anyone with my inner self and thoughts. I feel for you and hope for help to trust others eventually.
I’m watching this video tonight and I’m feeling very affirmed in my struggles. It is difficult to deal with suicidal thoughts on a regular basis. But it isn’t the end of the story and things can get better. Thank you Kati.
I like the new themed questions. They easily flow from one question to the next. And they seem to answer questions I had about the previous question. Thank you for all your do Kati.
Thank you Kati for everything.❤️
I am recently suffering from brain fogs. Dark clouds 24/7. Low stamina and strength 24/7, doesn't matter how healthy I eat or proper workout I do.
Thank you so much for answering my question which was number 8. The one time I didnt put anything about how grateful I am for everything you do on youtube. I am sure it has helped countless people including myself.
I really like this new format. Having said that, I have to say that safety contracts, just for me, are stupid. I know for a lot of people they’re helpful, but I’ve always thought to myself “do you really think this piece of paper is going to stop me?” To me, it’s more of a CYA thing. Maybe it’s because I grew up in an extremely controlled home with a narcissistic mom. As well as CSA and sexual trauma in college. I absolutely loathe to feel like I’m not in control of every tiny piece of my life. I just felt that I needed to put this out there. I love these podcasts and they do truly help me feel less crazy or messed up because I can see that I’m not alone.
So grateful that this came across my youtube feed as a recommendations. It's not the most fun conversation, but so needed.
24:00 - Disclaimer: Not a Lawyer. To add to getting accommodations at work- Document, Document, Document. Any interaction you have with your employer, HR, etc. write down the bullet points of what was said and who was in the room or was around where the conversation was taking place and follow up with an email of said conversation with your employer. This will help you in case something happens in regard to your employment.
You've heard expression, "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger." Wrt ADHD and selective focus I like to say, "What doesn't thrill me takes me longer."
This theme has come at the perfect time for me, very good but a little triggering. Thanks for everything you do for us 🤗
Hi again, good to see content on depression and suicide available to everyone! Informing people on how to access support and crisis management is so important. Thanks Kati
Ive had suicidal thoughts for over a year i went to my Doc he gave me meds taken them for a while no diff he up ed the Amount of meds at the same time i went to councelling 12 weeks it was for that lenght of time finished it dident miss a weak long story short if i could only get the house to myself for a few hours id end it im done with this shit trying and trying its unlucky we get this shit but its beaten me Dublin ireland 😢😢
Thank you for addressing this! Like so many other issues, it's so sad that "means" comes into the discussion before treatment. For-profit healthcare = for-profit homicide.
Ahh this is amazing kati thank you so much for using my idea for the videos❤️❤️ thank you for your videos, they're always so helpful and you make us feel so validated ❤️
Hugs, Eli xx
I talked with my therapist about suicidal ideation in one of the first few sessions. That helped me knowing what my therapist thinks about that topic and she said in which case she would hospitalize someone. I am glad I told her what my opinion is and I would never do it.
The inpatient treatment just digs the hole deeper.
This is my major problem now and I'm waiting on a bed to be informal on a mental health hospital ( in uk)
I used to have quite severe OCD and one of the major components was constant intrusive suicidal thoughts, sometimes in an impulsive manner like the person mentioned ex. thinking about jumping in front of the subway. I was also depressed but I was terrified of these thoughts and there were compulsions that came along with it, which is how in hindsight I know it was OCD (plus there were a bunch of other obsessions/compulsions that were not related to suicide). I would miss exams and other important things because I thought if I left the house I would jump in front of the subway or else find the means to commit suicide. I was diagnosed with it too but then one of the compulsions became constant research about OCD and re-reading the DSM-5 OCD section hundreds if not thousands of times, over and over again to reassure myself that it was just OCD and I wasn't going to kill myself. I think this is actually when I found you, Kati, because I would watch youtube videos about it as well. I was also afraid that it was BPD like the person who wrote in so I would also re-read the section on BPD too to check if it fit me. It's complicated though because I had genuine suicidal thoughts before and after this period (I've been hospitalized for them 5 times), sometimes during too, so it was tricky to determine which ones were real and which were not but the vast majority at this time were intrusive OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of this applies to the person who wrote in but just wanted to point out that obsessions and compulsions CAN centre around suicide.
it was basically harm OCD but directed at myself
@@settembrini3301 yes exactly!! that's how it was for me too
hi!! im the one with the question youre referencing and i do the exact same thing with the obsessively re-reading the dsm criteria for bpd and ocd, and a lot of other things you mentioned, like not going to school/leaving the house out of fear that youd attempt. i have a few other obsessive compulsions (balancing out my finger’s movements, checking my phone notifications, etc). should i check this out with my therapist?? im asking you because you know what its like in the head of ocd. (also thank you for this comment it was super validating)
@@cowboylikeemily hello!! of course, I'm glad you found it helpful! It's an under-recognized type of OCD so I think it's important to spread awareness. I would definitely bring up any type of suicidal thoughts in therapy, regardless of whether or not you think they're related to OCD, but I would also suggest the possibility that it could be OCD to your therapist because a lot of clinicians aren't aware of this sub-type and their minds may not immediately go there. I was terrified that I'd be hospitalized (all of my hospitalizations came later as a result of bipolar so it would have been a completely new experience at the time), and I've read about cases where that has happened and it made treatment much more difficult. OCD is actually the main issue that brought me to therapy so I specifically looked for an OCD specialist to prevent this, but if that's not one of your therapist's areas of expertise, I would just go into the session prepared with some resources to show them so that they take it seriously and recognize it as a real manifestation of OCD. If you google "suicidal OCD" quite a few websites pop up that have some great info. I would also google "Y-BOCS" which is an OCD rating scale and maybe fill it out beforehand to show your therapist. "Fear might harm self" is literally the very first obsession on the page which I think legitimizes it to others, but I also found it helpful because I had a bunch of other obsessions on the list that I was bothered by but I had no idea they could be part of OCD until I filled it out. You'll still need a proper assessment by a suitable professional to determine whether or not you have it, but I really think it's worth looking into. I never would have moved past this cycle without a diagnosis, even though I knew exactly what therapy for it would entail and in theory could have just done it alone. I would say that the validation I felt from my diagnosis and my therapist's re-assurance each session that it was "just" OCD was probably the most crucial component of my recovery because when these thoughts were treated as a genuine desire to end my life by other professionals I'd seen previously, it really just fed into my fear and made it harder to overcome. My only caveat to doing the types of research I mentioned is that you do NOT want it to become excessive and form a new compulsion as this just makes it worse. I probably filled out the Y-BOCS at least 100 times (even though my answers were the same) just to get reassurance, and I would strongly recommend doing your best to limit it right from the start if you think it could become an issue. Sorry this was so long, I just have a lot to say and there aren't many people openly talking about their experiences with this form of OCD so I think it's really important to discuss. I hope it helps/goes well if you do decide to bring it up in therapy :)
Kati Morton.i really needed this AKA podcast today and right now more than other podcast s this today's subject and topic really hits home for me I can understand and relate to things in each person s question iv never stopped feeling thankful for finding you and your channel you have a beautiful soul ❤️
For me (depressed person), my lack of concentration/lack of focus is much like when I have a bad cold or a fever and can't make decisions or think like I do when my depression is very much under control. But this is just how it is with me. Others may feel it differently.
I am the same way. I can't can't focus and remember because I can't focus.
@@catlynnearkin8825 - And that lack of focus has REALLY impacted my reading. I used to always have a book on the go but for the past 3 years, I am lucky if I can get through one book a year. It sucks so badly.
Kati says I am doing a fucking good job!!
I needed a new mantra
Omg i finally found your podcast, i love your channels.
I wish there were some kind trustworthy people I could tell what I think and feel, and they would keep it in a safe place and up to date. It would make me feel known and like I was worth something.
absolutely agree.
Hey Kati,
I suffered an incident at work that caused PTSD and I had terrible depression, anxiety and PTSD symptoms over the last five years. I missed over 9 months before I was able to return to work and began the process of return to work. During this process I was working through these issues in therapy and got me to a point where I could manage myself with the return to work. However something was stopping us from progressing further to address the trauma. So my therapist essentially positioned that I could live with the work that we have done and I could manage but unless the trauma was addressed it would be unlikely it would ever get better. So we decided to try to address the trauma so I could get better.
After we started working on my trauma I discovered a childhood trauma that was suppressed. Since we have discovered that trauma COVID happened and I lost access to my therapist. I was never suicidal throughout my entire life even with the PTSD, anxiety and depression. However, since I have restored this suppressed trauma I am struggling constantly with the thought of suicide. I'm just unsure how to live my life knowing about what happened. I have recently began seeing a licensed psychotherapist through my family doctor as my previous therapist became unavailable through circumstance.
My concern is this all-consuming urge that comes with the trigger of the suppressed trauma and I feel like I am starting at scratch with my new therapist. I'm just not sure how much I should be rehashing previous things with the new therapist that I was able to work through or should I continue fresh and focus on this suppressed trauma?
Hi Edward, I can relate to what you're saying. I suffered PTSD as a frontline worker during the pandemic and as a consequence of that was sent to a recovery programme for 2 weeks. We did stuff like art and drama therapy and group talks and a lot of buried stuff came up for me. I felt like a shaken soda bottle with all this forgotten stuff from the past bubbling up! I have a feeling that trauma from childhood sets us up for anxiety and depression later in life because something happened when we were too young to deal with it and the trauma affects our mindset and behaviour as adults.
I think it's best if you discuss all your concerns with your new therapist. I'm sure your new therapist has your medical records from your previous therapist and you may not have to start all over again. Start with where you are.
I wish you well with your soul work and hope that healing will come for you soon. All the best!
My psychiatrist told me the genetic tests for psych meds don't actually tell you which meds will work but simply how quickly your body metabolizes the meds to better identify the therapeutic dosing for your body when they try a med.
I just heard “you can always do it tomorrow”. I think it helped
After listening to Dr. Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning" I decided not to stop suicidal ideation. I marked the gps coordinates on my Google earth and labeled it, "Decided Not to Kill Myself". It felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I no longer consider the circumstances where/when I might do it. For example, terminal illness, catastrophic loss, etc. I no longer pause to daydream at high places, holding firearms or rope, driving fast, when it's really cold out... It liberated me! Now, I walk right by that window. The curtains have been drawn.
Hi Katie! When you were describing someone who has always had a safe support system and the “perfect life,” I resonated with that life as I feel my family and friends have always been there for me and I haven’t had any major turmoil in my life. However, when you said at 11:21 that a person with that life wouldn’t have suicidal thoughts, I wondered why I might experience them even though I do feel I have that life. Obviously not every aspect of my life and relationships is perfect, but for the most part they are. I’ve never attempted and I have no plan to, but whenever I mess up mildly, I feel terrible guilt and my first thoughts are self harm or suicide related, even though I never act them out. Do you have any ideas why this could be even though I have no obvious issues in my life? Thanks for all you do!
cptsd?
Another question: my whole life I’ve always responded to making minor (or major) mistakes with immense amounts of guilt that is all consuming, even when what I’ve done barely looks wrong from the outside. I can’t imagine not responding like that, and I can’t imagine anyone else responding differently. Are there people who don’t respond like this and is it possible to become one of those people?
Check out the Crappy Childhood Fairy in UA-cam. She explains this so that you can start working on it. A great free resource. She has paid features, but I've never used them and I've benefited greatly from her insight and validation. It's hard to change our mindset of blaming ourselves, but working on it can help alot so these thoughts are fewer and farther between.
@@susie5254 Thank you ! I will definitely check out their channel that sounds really spot on.
Hi Kati. A while back i watched a video of u when u were going through a rough time and this is one of ur newest videos ive seen. I really got worried about u! I hope ur doing better now? 🌸
You often get what you pay for and many of the cheap/free resources can make things WORSE, like EAP (Employee Assistance Program) for example. If money is an issue, you might want to listen to Tim Fletcher, providing, of course, that you are getting anti-depressants if you need them. There are some amazing free resources on UA-cam, but you have to use your instincts and be selective.
11:00, I have that ideal life and support system. I have everything that most suicidal people think they need to stop being suicidal.
I still want to die every single second of the day.
very insightful thank you very much for this video Kati
The thoughts never go away. 1. The means ✔ 2. A plan ✔ 3. A time ✔ I just want it to end.
(Hugs) How are you now Tracy?
I have zero time to watch these, which is sad :C
I get suicide thoughts a lot, they never result to anything tho, but its been getting worst (like its developing into something else)
I hate it, life is so messy sometimes and nothing ever waits for you. I want to sit down and talk to someone.
Hearing about everything that people writes in the comments is nice. means that I'm not alone :)
Thanks Kati!
Guess I got this week's set of questions. wrong I thought the subject and topic .was therapy and your experience with therapy I only just seen that this week's AKA podcast is about. Depression and thought of suicide this topic .really relates to me I have questions about depression to add iv had suicidal. Thoughts last year iv had meany suicidal thoughts it involved me constantly having thoughts and taking tablets and other ways to harm myself though. These past years iv been and felt so alone and struggling on and off everyday my friends are online .Friends I have no close friend s that .Are there for me and I'm still waiting to get back into therapy for help I really appreciate this AKA podcast this Thursday Kati just hearing her voice .And listening to her very helpful caring advice means so much to me I'm still getting these horrible negative and thoughts of suicide sometimes it never fully go s away it's different and not easy struggling alone when uk doesn't seem to have a good mental health system 😢much love to everyone here❤️
I have such a wonderful support system and i do live a Pretty nice life, but thoughts of Self injury are always in the back of my mind when something happens or if I'm feeling overwhelmed.
I had episode so bad this CB past Saturday where I actually called the police telling them I was about to go. They haven’t been taking my complaint of sexual assault seriously and I couldn’t stop the feeling this was causing me. It’s just like someone pushing you to do it, actually the police and the other institutions.
So I struggle with eupd and affective personality disorder and have done since 2006 I've got mental health team i see regular and support worker and on medication yet im still thinking of death and when in that state I can't distract myself . Here in UK total different I've tried taking my life a good few times reason I'm waiting on a bed
I have heard from many therapists who specialize in childhood sexual abuse that suicidal ideation is almost always present. It probably is prevalent in other types of trauma, too. I have an issue with using the term "mental disorders." The only thing that is disordered is the bullshit we were subjected to by others when we were younger. All of our responses to this shit is normal. Sorry for the rant. Hope the best for everyone who suffers.
I feel like the suggestions, past experiences with mental health problems are coming from a book.
I don't want to go into detail what I am diagnosed with, but when I see you discuss radical views on life such as suicide, I see your lips moving and hear spelling words bringing up previous patients experiences, but I just can't feel your comprehension of what you are saying - possibly due to lack of experience as you mentioned, you have never dealt with suicidal thoughts personally.
Also saying that the person's mother has to save herself and "one can't light themselves on fire to keep someone else warm" describes your whole view on these things. One doesn't have to light themselves to keep someone warm. They could just bring them into a warm environment.
But that's just too much work for therapists, psychiatrists, family members, friends, because they just don't care. They just don't want to deal with that person to that extent.
Just like Dr. Alok Kanojia (a psychiatrists and neurologist look him up on youtube) said: therapists, psychiatrists don't want to take responsibilities because they are afraid how it will affect them and their reputation in the future if they reach too deep into the patient's mental health state. But even he agrees that this factor in the mental health care must improve in order to see improvements as well in patients.
And from my past experiences with several therapists, psychiatrists and the system, I agree with him. When I mention that I am suicidal, the professionals just send me away or they don't even want to go deep into my problems just prescribe medication and that's all. They are all afraid which I understand, but they really shouldn't spread lies that we can be honest with them and we can trust them and in the end it will be them who will turns us away, because they measure that the risk is too high.
Now I am not saying the way mental health care is spread around the world in average is not effective, there are people with different problems who definitely benefit from it. But there are still a lot of people who need help and for them, the current options are just not enough.
I think saying "one can't be helped, one must save himself/herself, it's not your responsibility" is completely wrong and probably even unethical for a professional like you. The person can't save himself/herself because the person doesn't have the ability, and is in need of help maybe even intervention.
If you are a normal person, seeing someone collapse right in front of you, sure it is not your responsibility to call the ambulance and you can say "It's not my responsibility, the person must save himself", but that tells a alot about your character.
It's like saying someone with a fever of 105 should go to the doc and get himself checked out. The person has legs, has a phone, has arms (goes to therapies, has medication) so what's up? Yeah, but the person is basically comatose with that high fever and can barely speak, but you can say "It's not my responsibility to get him better", while you watch him vomit and choke on it.
It's the exact same thing with mental health. You can't expect the person to just "save himself/herself" and be done with that. This is a ridiculous advice, especially from a professional.
We are talking about people with sickness, mental health related. Just because they are not apparent for you physically it doesn't mean it's not there. But really, it shouldn't be me highlighting it for you.
This is why I feel the words coming from you have no gravity for you, because it feels like you are quoting from books, quoting past patients - but frankly you have no emotional comprehension of the subject, which I think should be required for therapists and psychiatrists. Kinda like having 3 maths equations and you start listing the variables say x,y,z but you actually don't know how they interact with each other, what they are for.
That said, there is a lot of truth to what you have said, some are even hurting, but truth is raw.
I’m so sorry you’ve had this experience with professionals. Have you tried a support group of some sort? Getting around others in general or who have been there and are currently going through the same things can be helpful to some. Even if just finding one person who will listen. Then there’s a support system of some sort which is more personal rather than a “doctor-like” approach looking at a case or liability. This is tough and you are not alone. Please know that.
Love this!!!
Thanku sm for making these videos!
Allison Williams. hello nice to see your name here again how are you how are things
Thank you for this subject. It is so needed.
@@deborahfairburn6585 I'm Nikki I just want to share care support and advice to anyone who needs it hello can I just say I completely agree this AKA podcast topic is so needed right now
You really do help us Katie thank you.
@@seiboldtadelbertsmiter3735 completely agree Kati has always helped me to feel calm and relaxed her voice is calming to my mind
There actually is suicide be OCD. Somebody that I heard talk about their experiences with it said that she would get intrusive thoughts about suicide a lot even though she didn’t want to commit suicide and wasn’t even depressed and she would get very distracted by the start. Her compulsions were mentally reviewing images of something happening to her and if she was sad upset by it and she was reassured that she didn’t actually want to commit suicide
Another great episode, but I disagree with using no harm contracts as she suggested in question 1. That's old school and no longer recommended because they are ineffective and they increase legal liability for the therapist. No Harm contracts are a disaster for both client and therapist.
Hey, can I ask you a question OK? Is it good to have suicide thought since she was 10 now I’m 13. I have doubts all the time and also I love fighting with my sister me and her got fighting two times last night.
Yes. It would be arrogant and weird NOT to think about going on up ahead.
Hy Katy Dr.❤️
I'm 20yr old....having depression, anxiety all those trauma stuffs, panic attacks, toxic parents, etc etc....had attempted 2-3 suicides before ....
I had suicidal thoughts and actually attempted on 17th October by overdosing panadol extra of 24 tablets (500mg n 65mg caffeine) at once ....I had severe vomiting and went to the hospital just saying that I had continuous vomiting just by eating food ....so they had some tests , gave an injection for vomiting and said that there's some acidity in stomach so gave some med....is that fine not being treated for actual cause?
Depressed people are NOT fatigued. I have chronic fatigue and - because therefor my life broke down- depression. But the psychologic energy has nothing to do with physical fatigue. Why do I emphasise this? Because here in Germany you are forced to do sports with depression and this method kills people with me/cfs (fatigue).
I had a severed depression and l am suicidal thoughts everyday and also with anxieties but l dont have a planned yet eventually l will do it's a matter of time. I don't feel any joy anymore and l do have brainfog but this depression l have instead sleeping and cannot sleep l am a patient at a psychiatrist clinic.
Hello Kati, I was hoping you could give us more information about the comment you made @ 16:57 minute mark. You said that the suicidal thoughts can be around our struggle with identity. I have BPD and I never thought that the suicidal thoughts could be linked to not knowing who I really am.
I disagree on the part of the explanation at 22:31. I do not have depression, but I do have ADHD. I can, and often do, try for a long period of time to focus and it often just is not working because of executive dysfunction from ADHD.
Words can not convey how I feel. My brain wiring is so blown. I can not sleep at all only with taking a massive amount of sedatives and their effectiveness is wearing off. My brain feels like it is has been banged awake and is throbbing, infact the whole nervous ystem of my body feels like it is the same, throbbing, on edge, can not relax. I take all my tablets at night and hopefully get knocked out and then waken the next morning to this brain again that can not relax. My whole brain feels like a strangers and it no longer works in the fantastic way it used to. I know I have a type of fatal insomnia and I am in fear of what lies ahead of me. I do not think any persn has ever lived feeling like I do. I have lost the most wonderful and beautiful life.
Timestamps
It was 4 years ago that I felt like the people you are trying to help today. Thank goodness I did not hear this sermon then
- frankly you do not have a clue.
Yes, I have these thoughts all the time
I've only been seeing my therapist for just under 3 months and it is SO HARD to mention my suicidal thoughts. I did once, and that felt great, but I feel like to bring it up again would be 'dramatic' or akin to beating a dead horse. I don't want to focus on them but on the flip side, the silence and associated shame seems to make them worse. Tunnel Vision is my MO (modus operandi) these days, "what do I want to do before I go?" At least I'm getting things done, lol, but it doesn't seem like the healthiest way to go about life. Worse is my productivity could be mis-interpreted as 'getting better' as Question 7 hinted at. I volunteer, I'm teaching myself to paint......and I'm safeguarding my 'method' and putting together a plan. Maybe I just feel better having an escape hatch and hopefully will never act on it. ? Anyway, great discussion and thanks!!
21:54 sick Office Space reference
🥺
Thankyou
Thoughts are not YOU
I know that intellectually but I get carried away when they come
I am unable to function
When i have constant suicidal thoughts i am extremely hurting and in pain ...they go hand in hand
I wrote a long comment but UA-cam keeps deleting it automatically after a few seconds. I didn't find any words that could be seen as problematic. I don't understand it. Is there a word limit? All my precious energy (I have ME/CFS and I'm bedbound) wasted for nothing.
I know it's not your fault Kati. I just felt like sharing after I've seen the video and now I'm sad my message doesn't get through.
Try breaking your comment up in parts. (like post part one and than wrote part 2 as a reply to yourself). UA-cam does have a word limit.
Im in a mindset of the plan. Past the dr. Saying things, im told im the problem. So i can fix that.
My current situation is due to constant harassment. It has been constant/consistent since 2020.
I feel disrespected insulted I feel overwhelmed I am unhappy stressed out I live a group home with people who have different disabilities One of the residents sees and talks to invisible people, one residents is very obnoxious, bossy mostly to Mr they become the food police they tell everyone mostly me how much they are allowed to eat I have both ADHD and Autism so sometimes I get annoyed and really emotional sometimes I don't hope that I don't wake up I didn't have these type of thoughts until the two residents moved in the one who sees and talks invisible people, it's mostly the resident who bosses me around and becomes the food police I was happy until moved in
Sorry for the long comments and the horrible grammar.
What if you just don’t like life?
Why is it such a big deal for people to talk about suicide? Why are they taking it too seriously talking about it? Why are they afraid to die? Why do people need to live? Why is it important to live? Do I really need to do a journal? I feel like it makes me overthink things more?
Life is complicated
Omg so I have depression now and my bpd sh has stopped
Gonna have to skip this whole video as I suspect it'd be triggering for me. But hope it's helpful for some people.
Wow.. yeah, you haven't had suicidal thoughts; so you can never understand it, if you haven't experienced it.. these superficial answers are from someone who has never experienced the sheer horror of ideation..
I agree wholeheartedly
(Someone wants to go out and get killed which would be Person #1)
Person #1: (whispering) I’m going out to get hit by a vehicle.
Person #2: (after hearing the whisper and therefore holding onto Person #1 super tight) No! Don’t leave this place!
Person #1: SHUT THE ****UP AND LET GO OF ME! LET GO! LET GO, PLEASE!
(Person #2 persistently shakes his/her/their head.)
Person #1: OHH, I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
Person #2: Why?
Person #1: BECAUSE YOU WON’T SET ME FREE! YOU’RE ONLY HOLDING ME PRISONER BY KEEPING ME ALIVE!!!!!!!!!
Extreme hurt triggers it
I’m just an old man who is nothing but a burden to everyone.
I NEED HELP!!!! We have a daughter that is terribly misguided by todays media and thinks she’s this or that. When the reality is she’s 13 and doesn’t know what she is. She’s started cutting, she lies. She thinks pedophiles deserve rights. She thinks she’s non-binary. It’s a mess. My question is how can we best handle this? She’s seeing a therapist.
(Not an Expert) try taking it one step at a time, find things that she likes. Take her away slowly from social media/media. Get her to have fun and forget about all that stuff. Support her with whatever she wants, but always explain the bad or good sides of things. Let her experiment, but always be there as a safety rope for her.
It sounds like you are really afraid for your kid because you love your kid so much. You want to keep doing the parenting thing the way you did when your child was little - teach the right answers, correct their mistakes. At the age of 13, though, your kid’s developmental stage means they are trying to figure out who they are on their own, apart from what their parents think they should be. This is a hard and scary transition! But it is also normal and healthy. (The cutting is not normal and healthy, of course! But the impulse to individuate is.)
Another thing that is going on is that your child is in some pain. Kati always talks about self-harm as a coping strategy. It can be used to demonstrate to those around us that we are hurting inside, because we are not getting the care that we need in some way. I know you are trying your hardest! But we can’t automatically know what another person needs from us to feel better so it could be that, despite your best intentions, you are not meeting your kid’s emotional needs in the exact way their system needs you to.
Cutting can also be done to make the emotional pain less because for some people cutting releases endorphins to tamp down the physical pain of the cut, which also tamps down the emotional pain. And it can be a distraction from the emotional pain to cause physical pain to focus on instead.
So why is your kid in such pain? Their opinion about p*doph*les is a bit of a red flag. It’s possible they just mean that if a person has urges to hurt kids in that way but controls themself and never acts on the urges, that person should not be shunned. Fair enough, though personally I think it is important for that person to always be in the care of mental health pros and to stay away from kids for everyone’s safety. But also it is possible that your child might have been abused and that opinion is their mind’s way to make sense of what happened to them. If your kid’s therapist doesn’t already know, maybe communicate that and have the therapist ask your kid about that.
Finally, is your kid non-binary, is your kid “this and that” or is that just the media? Again, your kid is discovering who they are. They might actually be non-binary. The fact that it is more commonly accepted these days to come out as non-binary is not CAUSING more kids to be non-binary. It is just giving kids who don't feel they fit into the "male" or "female" categories some language for how they feel, and showing them that others will accept them if they talk about it.
Nothing bad will happen if you stop trying to convince your kid they are not non-binary. And if you keep trying to tell your kid you know what's in their head better than they do, that will make them feel misunderstood, angry and hurt. From the way you asked this question, I get the sense that your fear for them MIGHT be coming out of you in a way that they will interpret as anger and rejection. Acceptance is the very best medicine for kids who are, or think they might be, LGBTQ. Kids whose families accept them are way less likely to be depressed or attempt suicide.
So please. Let them tell you who they are. Find a really calm version of yourself that just wants to be curious and listen to them. (This might require some therapy for you, or family therapy sessions to help this conversation go better. It's OK to have your own feelings about all this but your kid is not the one to process those feelings with.) Use the name and pronouns they want you to use. (A good way to get better at this is to practice talking about your kid out loud in your car using the correct name and pronouns - it helps the correct pronoun flow better when you're having a real conversation about your kid later.) And, if they change their mind later, that is OK too! Sometimes we have to live with a version of our gender for awhile and see how it feels when others respect that gender and address us the way we want, to see if it really fits. Let them update you and take any updates with the same respect and acceptance.
The organizing principle of all this advice is: You want to show your kid that you understand they are their own person with their own feelings, and that you are curious about who they will become and will love them no matter what. You also want them to know you can hear anything they need to tell you and take in any info about stuff that may have happened to them without freaking out. This is all super hard, so get some support for yourself. Let me know if you have any questions. I'll be thinking of you and your family and hoping you're all doing well.
So if you have topics, its easier to put people's fellow up question
For a therapist to repeatedly ask about "means and a plan" is stupid. Do they not realize that if you formed a plan it is almost always centered around the means. Then, therapists act as if once the crisis subsides the plan and means go away too. Think about it, you only have to plan once and that will serve you for the rest of your life... however long that may be.
There should be more compassion here..should say “no this isn’t Normal”.
The person is already feeling out of sorts. It’s very normal! For some it is they’re everyday. Since I was young I’ve had these thoughts of suicide, a normal reaction to an insane world where some feel like they don’t fit in. You could say the insanity of this world/the mind/the ego and identification with the mind and it’s thoughts is very normal but still insane.
Recovery starts with compassion and love and it starts with ourselves.
If you are having thoughts of suicide/leaving an insane world for a better world, it’s normal. It’s normal to not want to be in an insane Asylum. “Life is suffering, to thrive is to find meaning in the suffering” Buddha
Nope nope nope, sorry love, you're are wrong on a LOT of this.
Not your fault, you were trained that way.
Sadly, therapists rely too heavily on their education rather than learning directly from their patients. They usually come across as condescending, particularly when they imply that "you don't fit the mold" we created. And you're right. No one cares.
Why are these videos so long? Are you trying to keep me distracted?
WHYare you using ADHD, BP, OCD, etc..MANY OF US DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!
You’re seriously pushing medication 🙄