How does German parenting differ from the U.S.?
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- Опубліковано 27 лип 2024
- German children are given much more freedom than kids in the U.S., but they're also expected to be more self-reliant. These are some of the observations made by Euromaxx reporter Hallie Rawlinson, who has lived in both countries. One example that surprised her is how hazardous German playgrounds can be. And she was shocked by the fact that many 7-year-olds take public transportation by themselves to get to school.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Intro
00:18 Hallie’s first impressions in Germany
00:50 Are German parents more relaxed?
01:42 Is Germany safer than the U.S.?
03:23 Are German playgrounds built to be dangerous?
#Germany #playground #parenting
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CREDITS
Report: Hallie Rawlinson
Camera: Henning Goll
Edit: Arndt Baumüller
Supervising Editor: Mirja Viehweger
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Als Kind habe ich sehr viel draussen gespielt und bin oft für Stunden mit dem Nachbarshund im Wald und auf den Feldern gewesen. Ich habe Mirabellen, Kirschen, Zuckerrüben und Mais gegessen und musste erst Heim als die Strassenlaternen anggingen. Ich fand es toll unabhängig zu sein und bin bestimmt dadurch in meinem Leben gut ausgekommen.
War bei mir auch so, nur war ich als jugoslawischen Kind in Deutschland noch freier. Nicht ganz so frei, wie im damaligen Jugoslawien - aber hey: nicht jedes Land konnte so großartig zu seinen Kindern sein. 😉
Bei mir genauso. Auf dem Land aufzuwachsen, war bis zur Pubertät toll, danach wurde das Dorf mit einem Bus morgens und einem Bus abends ein wenig zu eng...
Wir waren den ganzen Tag draußen, im Wald, gingen die in der Nähe stationierten amerikanischen Soldaten besuchen (die immer super nett waren!) und bei Regen spielten wir mit dem brandneuen C64. War 'ne tolle Zeit.
Same here.
During school holidays my mum and dad saw me only for lunch and dinner.
@@krollpeter I didn't even come home for lunch since I was good at foraging for food.😁
Same here in Canada, my parents had a school bell they would ring at dinner time for me to come home because they never knew where I was.
What you didn’t mention is that the children are never really alone or unobserved. There are always lots of adults around them who also keep an eye on them. I take the bus to work and there are often children there. Most of the time they go to school with at least one friend. And even if they go alone, I would certainly help this child if it seems to be stressed out or in trouble and I know that the same is true for many other adults on the same bus. The same thing on playgrounds. A child falls and seems to need help, you just give and help no matter if it’s your own child or not.
Every "adult around" is considered a threat, not as helpful. Just touching a child that's not your own, is a big thing in USA.
@@holger_pThis seems to be a key difference then. In Germany (and maybe Europe in general?) we seem to trust that people are inherently good. Also we feel as a community and most of the time it still feels like „we take care of each other“, although that depends a bit on the place and is also changing a bit during the last couple of years. Especially the younger generation is sometimes so deeply glued to their phones they don’t even see or hear what’s going on around them…
I think it slowly changes more to the same idea than in America or something in between. For example my eldest daughter once took the wrong bus to school when she was about 10 years old. So the bus only drives to a different school in town, little bit far from hers and she had no idea now where to walk or which bus to take now. Someone brought her to the school secretariat, they called up her school and since now they were responsible and couldn't let her go unsupervised, they sent her with a random mum who happened to be there willing to walk her 1/2 hour to her school and she had to drop her off personally in the school secretariat. The secretary than had to call back the other school to make sure everything went well before accompanying her to class to explain everything to her teacher.
I definitely would help out kids in need or other parents on a playground when in need and it's possible for me to do so. Kids always randomly start finding friends on playgrounds so adults just need to watch from a safe distance. Kids need some privacy too.
@@Izanuela22 Right, and maybe the armement in USA is a reason, this blind trust has gone.
The missing trust, is also a reason for this facade of friendly small talk, without really caring what the other has to say. There is no liability for your word.
@@a.r.r.i.9841 This must be america, if you get in the wrong bus in Germany, you would never end up at another school, but at the zoo or the supermarket or whereever.
And if the kid handles to correct his mistake himself somehow, maybe it can read google maps, or the schedule of the bus, with age 10 , it's 4th grade ?
It will become very proud and get confidence in himself, to have "survived" this adventure.
The only one noticing this thing, would be his school, for arriving late.
I'm German and was a bit surprised that it's taken that way. Because it might be all true. And in comparison to US it seems relaxed. But if you look to nordic/scandinavian countrys they put all of this to another level. A level which I adore and like more than the German 😅
I wouldn't idolize the Northern-European countries. They also have concepts like barnevernet which is 100 times more aggressive than the German Jugendamt. A neighbour calling in for alleged abuse is enough for your children being taken away from you with no examination of the situation first. I know of a mother who had to flee Norway to Poland because they wanted to take her child away. Why? Because she had had clinical depression AS A TEENAGER, several years before giving birth. The state controls everything in the north, and it doesn't always do it well. But people are way to proud of their progressive system to address its horrible weaknesses. Did I mention they had forced castrations and sterilizations way into the 1970s? Not castrations of sex offenders, no - they castrated/sterilized the sick, poor, and uneducated so that they wouldn't procreate. Sounds a bit like the Third Reich, right?
And lt's not forget the bigotry of the national community which actively excludes refugees whilst claiming itself open-minded etc. at the same time. Complete inability of the police to deal with raising crime rates (have been robbed in Sweden before, can definitely attest to the police's incompetence), and inability of the state to integrate refugees who often end up becoming criminals. Critics consider the social democratic welfare state (the system in place in Norway, Sweden, Finland, and Denmark - no clue about Iceland) a far-right state masked as left-wing. Those are not my words though.
@@joanneaugust1489sound really worrisome.
@@joanneaugust1489 Sure, but the playgrounds are great there, as I can also compare.
@@peterk.6093 Fair point. But the original commenter was referring to a relaxed attitude to parenting, not to the playgrounds themselves.
@@joanneaugust1489 I heard terrible things of the barnevernet as well. They took children of indian parents away, because it is forbidden to give food to your child with your hand. You have to always use fork, spoon ect. Also co-sleeping is forbidden in Norway. So no family bed or sleeping next to your child. You can loose custody for stupid things like that.
5:20 also, in Germany you can only claim _actual_ damages in a lawsuit. There are no punitive damages here.
I am American, and I firmly believe that Germany is MUCH safer for children than any city or state in America. The gun violence, or violence in general, is just unreal here.
Not true in the big cities since 2015
@@nativefraulein5801 Still entirely true in 2024. Every statistic can tell you though if you care about facts rather than gefühlte Wahrheiten.
@@nativefraulein5801 you obviously believe everything the AFD is lying. Poor existence
@@nativefraulein5801I live in Frankfurt am Main and my son is already 6 years old. Were both just fine and i'm not worried about him.
How to say I am racist, without saying I am racist.
Percieved security and statistics might have a gap.
It broke my heart to see the playground of my elementary school (1950's vintage) replaced with safer one of wood. That was then replaced with plastic. I loved those galvanized monkey bars and stainless steel slide. Not to mention the heavy wood swings with chains. Now there's almost no green space to play in or trees and shrubs.
And where was it?
I say it's not a slide unless it's stainless steel.
Irondequoit, New York, USA. Built about in 1957.
When was that? In the 50s / 60s I would guess. These days are over. To many things are happening in the states. Let alone how many lical news I heard about kidnapped children, shot children, it is unfortunately a very sad fact that things are pretty negative in the US when it comes to children's safety. I was and I am still shocked about it, and my Germany mind cannot understand it.
@@rich-ard-style6996you had these kinds of playgrounds until the early to mid 90's where I grew up (South Florida it was). As far as kidnapping children are far far safer than they were in the mid 90's and before. You didn't have Amber Alert system, you weren't allowed to post missing children in public spaces, dad's who kidnapped their children weren't considered a kidnapper (they were just dad), children weren't considered missing until they were missing for 5 days, among other things. News also didn't report on it until a week after your child was missing. Where I grew up there were 2 kids that were kidnapped and then murdered. There were 30 kids kidnapped in one year. Nowadays there's no children being kidnapped and then murdered. There's 5 kids that were kidnapped in a year. As far as kids getting shot. They are more likely to be struck by lightning than to be shot. You have to remember. The news has really changed. If it bleeds it leads.
I think the Dutch way is close to the German way. The one big difference is that you won’t see many children in public transport. Kids here go everywhere on bike.
In the eighties some English psychologists published a paper in which they stated that more harm was done by overprotective parents, than actual harm was done the parents were afraid of.
harm? it's simply not that safe in some US cities. Thus naturally, such "mental harm" isn't really a topic. And we Europeans shouldn't be arrogant about this since crime and safety issues are slowly creeping into our societies, too. When I visited Belgium this year, I didn't feel safe either in certain areas. I wouldn't let my kid roam around there, either.
@@NoctLightCloud the research was about the UK, not the USA.
@@jannetteberends8730 same response, though
A lot of german kids also use bikes,of course netherlands are extraordinary bike friendly,but also-flat.yet,amazing job.
As a German, I would also like to see more infrastructure for cycling. We are still really lagging behind the Netherlands in this regard.
I live in Berlin, where the video was filmed, and I think the design of the playgrounds is great. When I was a child, I could spend the whole day on playgrounds with my friends. There were always adults there to look after us and we had a variety of different playgrounds in the neighborhood. Some were quite simple, others had huge climbing frames and slides, and others had water as a creative opportunity.
My friends and I have often spoken of the changes that have occurred in children’s limits in playgrounds. We are 72, so grandparents; massive changes in the US since the 50’s. Totally all encompassing our children/ grandchildren’s lives. It makes me sad.
My husband grew up in a small town in the Midwest in the 1970s. All the stuff he did there with his friends, I did with mine roughly a decade later in a big city in Germany. Neither the US nor Germany are as they were back then. I will always be glad that I got to grow up the way I did. Modern parents seem so stressed most of the time and constantly worried that their kids need to be kept busy with something.
...homogeneous society vs heterogeneous society!
german kids from ‘97 here. grew up in a rural suburb near hamburg and since there were no playgrounds nearby, my friends and i used to play in the streets and the forest. we used to take some snacks and water with us and just told our parents who we were playing with. at sun set, we used to come back home telling our parents about the adventures we had and where we were.
also, from age 12, i had a long distance relationship that i traveled to by train on my own (3,5h ride + switching trains twice, yay). never wished it to be different
German kid from 1967, i did the same...but i used my bicycle for short distances like 10km...lol
Talking about my country, India, there are no such things as playgrounds or official playzones. Children generally play on the roads or on empty lands or wherever they get space. A decade ago there used to be local parks in many places in my city Kalkutta (Calcutta) but due to recent expansion of living space, we have lost many of these garden styled parks where kids used to play. In a city where 15 million people live, we hardly have any parks. The kids are forced to play on the road on which vehicles ply. Owning to this there exists a lot of dangers and risk and thus many parents rather prefer to not let their kids play outside and would rather engage them into some kind of academic or non-curricular training during their playtime. This is leading to much poorer quality of life for the children and in turn affecting their creativity and personal growth.
That is sad. In this video you've seen playgrounds in Berlin, which is the most crowded city in germany. Thus you can find playgrounds all over Berlin. In smaller towns in germany you will find less playgrounds, because children use to play more at home or in parks or in nature. So I think a good thumbrule might be: the more crowded a city is the more playgrounds you will need. I hope that in India people will plan their cities with more playgrounds in the future.
15M population for a single city is crazy.
Berlin is the biggest city in Germany with its 3.7M population, and its already too many people in one place IMO.
I live now in Berlin and my son loves the playgrounds here. In Romania, they look mostly like the American ones. Recently, they've started building more creative and aventurous playgrounds in Bucharest, my homecity
I live in Berlin, where the video was filmed, and I think the design of the playgrounds is great. When I was a child, I could spend the whole day on playgrounds with my friends. There were always adults there to look after us and we had a variety of different playgrounds in the neighborhood. Some were quite simple, others had huge climbing frames and slides, and others had water as a creative opportunity.
I come from Tokyo and even German ppl were shockced/surprised, how independent small children (6yrs. old) are. Like, they take public transports to go to school every day.
It seems in many aspects Germany is somehow in the middle between the US and Japan. It often feels like that when I see comparisons between two of those three countries.
I live in a big city here in Germany and went to school alone at 6 years old (1988) and i see small kids walking alone or on public transport nowadays too.
@@CalmoOmlac its getting more rare / rarer?... you get what i mean.. since the school districts where removed and every child can go to school where ever the parents want them to, you see more and more children being driven to school by parents. because having the child going to school where you work is so much more convenient then having it go to school where you live.. how stupid would that be. having your friends close by is such a bad idea... you get the idea. sure there are still some waling / taking public transport,.. but its getting less
@@Brainreaver79 What? School districts aren't removed here in Frankfurt am Main. My son can only go to the school near his home. He's in elementary school now.
@@CalmoOmlac where i live (ruhrarea) that restriction has been removed. which sucks..
Safe in America where children have to dodge bullets in school? Terrifying in my opinion.
@@epg96 And everybody remember his name. In America the victims are less than a statistic.
What a stupid statement … a nation of 330 million people, so that a school shooting is a rarity
On holiday I met two teachers who worked with 6-7 year olds from Philadelphia. Because of the threat of a school gun attack , they were paid very highly because it included danger money. 😖
@@wendywoohaslam485 Um ... no? I live in Philly and my wife teaches 5 year olds ... and she is NOT paid well. No teachers in Philly are.
Bro get over yourself
I grew up in a village with about 7.000 inhabitants in Southern Germany (*2005), the next playground is on the other side of our fence, the next daycare and elementary school are within a 100m, I would have gone by myselve to the daycare by four, but our mom brought us becaus of my littell brother.
From about 5 I was playing on the playground by myselve or with my friends all afternoon. We were allways climbing, at 9 I fell of a tree about 2,5 or 3m maybe even more, I broke my wrist and stopped climbing trees, a year or two later my aunt took me indoorclimbing for the first time, I'm climbing regullarly since I'm 14.
I was one of those kids who did a lot by themselve even for German standarts, I was told I am very brave for traveling 6h, home from my uncel in swizerland, by myselve on the train at 14. My longest travel by myselve were about 8 or 9h so fare.
As a 5 y old (German in Germany) my mother send me to go shopping for bread at the bakery, she gave me money and a tiny shopping list in case I might forget I was suppose to buy. She gave me instructions what to do, and if I went. The bakery aprox. was 1 km from home.
To school we walked 2 km alone. My mother walked the way ONCE with me and I had to remember it then. It was save to walk to school, later in high school we used the city transportation busses to go to school.
My mother gave me instructions how to behave and not to go with anyone, if someone would approach me. And there were some moments, a few, when someone tried to lure me in, driving a car next to me. But I kept my distance, bc my mother protected me with her advice that I followed then. But in a big in general in the years after the war and decades after it was secure most of the times. Kidnapping and murders were the big exceptions. Walking passing a dark big park was secure in Berlin.
.
It is actually more secure today than it was in the past. People are just freaking out.
It was like this in the US when growing up in the 60s. Not sure why it changed.
I've heard many times that kids in the US used to grow up without being watched 24/7, being more independent, etc. I wonder what caused this to change?
During the late 80s and 90s the US and UK media would run stories about children being stolen.
24 hour for profit news, amber alerts and printing missing children on milk cartons. Stuff like that constantly makes people think how dangerous the world is. It makes parents think about child abductions every day. None of this stuff exists in Germany or Switzerland (where i live). So people only think about abductions like once a year when there is some high profile case.
Also the urban design in most of america just isnt suitable for kids to do anything on their own. That sure doesnt help.
I'd guess TV. In my lifetime I feel like I have seen the rise of "true crime" as a category of television show, podcast, and documentary. It's not that crime, kidnapping, or murder is more of a risk as much as the perception of those things is.
Another factor that has changed the philosophy of play in the US is law surrounding civil liability. For example I have friends who run a summer camp, they had a merry go round which has been at the camp for decades. During a recent insurance adjuster visit they got told they HAD to remove it unless they wanted a massive bump in insurance rates. It wasn't that the parents, kids, or camp directors got less risk tolerant it was that the structure of our legal system made risk tolerance too expensive.
Yes, it’s definitely due to the increase in child abductions or maybe just increase in child abductions that are reported. But I do understand why parents are so cautious, because even though stranger abductions are more rare than a child being taken by a non-custodial parent, they do happen. children are terribly abused and/ or killed. And even though it’s not likely to happen to your child, how many parents are willing to take that risk? I grew up in the 70s in Minnesota and as long as I was home by that time my mom got home from work everything was cool. But it is definitely a different world.
@@beckycaughel7557 is there an actual increase tho? General violent crime rates in the US definetly went down vs the 70s and 80s. So i think its all about the reporting and not the real situation.
Also are kids really safer if their risk of abduction by strangers is reduced from 0.00000000004% to 0.00000000001% at the cost of increasing their risk of obesity from 10% to 40%? And same with their social anxiety problems and such.
My grandma liked to call me a stray because I always was outside with my friends from the age of 10 playing on large playgrounds with huge net constructs which were 5m high, or playing in the nearby woods on a small stream or playing football from after school to sunset. Best childhood ever. Yes, we came home once or twice with bloody knees, a cut above the eye or broken wrist, but those things would have happened most likely one day even under the eyes of our parents.
I'd give my kids the same kind of freedom I had and teach them the same lessons I was taught and experienced myself.
I have lived in the Netherlands for a few years and yes it's wonderful, amazing playgrounds, safety...but one thing that wasn't mentioned is the persistent bullying and phone use that are traded in for knowing where your child is. You'll see kids here in Copenhagen as well, some of the most beautiful playgrounds but on their phones. So yeah having free range kids is great when they play and make friends, can explore or be independent but nowadays those same kids have their attention directed somewhere else than actually learning to get along and use the playgrounds themselves.
German mother here with a now 11 y old. Not every playground in Germany looks that fancy. Or scary from a American perspective.But it's true this days there more wood and metal than plastic.
And this days the swings from my childhood with the metal chains and a single seat are often replaced by netswings or Nestschaukel. These look a bit different and are better for small children or disabled people. You can lay on them with 3 people and swing and have fun.
My child used to to go a playground in public park. And until she was 7 she never went alone. But even if we went together, she was used to see me sitting from distance reading and she was used not to be observed all the time.
To be totally honest I only saw her, when she was hungry or wanted me to show off her newest trick she just invented. And after a while I didn't see her at all because she was playing in an area with bushes and trees nearby the playground. She loves climbing on all sorts of trees. That was perfectly normal. And she never got any injury from our playground or the trees bigger than a small scratch.
When I was a child we had so many great playgrounds right in the neighborhood - it felt like one every 500 m ^^ and all had different implements made of wood and sometimes metal; you could walk from one to the other all day and have the time of your life ^^ The greatest playground I remember was a so-called "construction playground": as a child, you could build your own huts out of boards and all sorts of other materials with a hammer, saw, nails, etc. There were 2 supervisors who paid attention to safety and helped when needed - the kids did everything else themselves... and what did we build! Even two-story houses with connecting bridges, that was absolute madness... every few weeks the houses (or whatever else they built) had torn down and you could let your imagination run wild again. Sometimes there were parents there (mostly fathers) who volunteered to work around with the children and were there to help and advise - whether the children wanted it or not, hahaha.. . This was by far the greatest playground we children have ever had - and certainly the one where we learned the most to recognize our own limits. Minor injuries were completely normal, no one made a big deal about it - on the contrary, in the evening the scratches and wounds were proudly shown at home and you received praise and recognition for what a great job you had done ^^ It's a real shame that there don't seem to be any playgrounds like this anymore...
Sounds like an awesome childhood :D!
@@dweuromaxxYes, indeed! We were truly "free" and allowed to experience and express ourselves in every conceivable way... We were trusted - and that was worth more to me personally than I can say... 😀
As a West German kid I walked 🚶🏻 to my primary school about 1.7 km between 1968 and 1972.
My mom showed me all possible ways to go to school 🏫 and to go back home 🏠. Including the crossing of two big streets with quite some traffic 🚙 🚛 and without traffic lights ❌🚦.
After some while she said at 2/3 of the way: 'Go on for the rest' and she stayed behind. Later she let me go alone at 1/3 of the way. And finally I went by myself the whole way.
She showed me how to use the public phone booth 📞 and always made sure that I had suitable coins with me (two 10 Pfennig coins 🪙 🪙 at that time and another 🪙 🪙 coins in case the coins failed).
The result: It worked ALL the time👍.
Funfact 😉: Many years later she told me that she had followed me unseen for some longer time on the whole way - just to make sure - until she was convinced that I could do it.
And yes - I did it.👍
Thanks Mom. ❤️
Finde ich echt süß, dass sie dir heimlich gefolgt ist 😊
I had pretty much the same experience, southern Germany in the 90s :) (Only about 1km though)
When I was a kid we walked to school alone, we played wherever we happened to be, and we went wherever we wanted.
In Canadian playgrounds Kids are not allowed to play without supervision. So sad and bad for the children.
Yeah...our social development went backwards when we started paying attention to the way our southern neighbors do it. We should have stayed with Europe!
@@ChelleLlewes That is true in so many respects.
@@maxbarko8717Do They need supervision regardless of age? I don't think people should leave their toddlers unsupervised. But seven or ten year olds?
I'd have felt so suffocated, not being able to meet friends and play by myself.
@@schattentaenzerin Yes, the sign doesn’t allow playing without an adult. An equivalent sign on a German playground may state what age group can play and they show the emergency number (112). 😀😂 Tanzt du nur im Schatten oder auch in der Sonne? 🌞 🤗🫶
I believe it's also a factor, that Germans have free healthcare and therefore it's less of a drama if the children mildly get injured. So I would believe it is less stressful for the parents
Und darum kümmert es uns nicht das unsere Klnder Schmerzen haben, Narben zurückbleiben könnten usw.? Nee, echt nicht. Wir wollen das sie Spaß haben, lernen Gefahren einzuschätzen, selbstständig werden und nicht wenn sie mit 18 J. Ausziehen so über die Strenge schlagen wie viele College-Studenten. ;)
@user-bf6ud7rc2y klar aber es hilft.
Der Hintergrundstress, dass ein Unfall die Finanzen ruinieren könnte ist nicht zu unterschätzen.
We Germans do NOT have free health care ! We pay public health insurance every month as a percentage of our income. Higher earners pay more, up to a certain limit of course and lower earners pay less. It is mandatory. If you are unemployed and not earning, then the state pays your health insurance for you. Although many people complain about cutbacks in the heath system here in recent years, it’s still actually very good value for money and is far better than most countries.
We are talking about scratches and a band aid in your bag. Not about broken legs.
You could also say, driving a car is more relaxed, cause in case of accident there is no hospital bill ?
@@holger_p it is also about broken bones, especially wrist elbow, lower leg, the occasional torn or injured ligament, perhaps a mild concussion.
When it comes to way of living - I think Germany really has got it well covered.
USA is very Tech driven and its getting more and more online whereas Germany likes outdoors more.
In the rural areas of the USA kids are driving four runners and using firearms. Many of them have to work.
This is the way kids used to be raised in the US.
That's what Hallie said in this video about herself.
"used to be" sounds like past. Has it changed ?
@@holger_p From what I can see, yes. Parents don’t let their kids do the things I did when I was growing up. I noticed the change in the ’80s and it has gotten steadily worse since then.
As a child in Germany (DDR/East Germany to be precise) I did not play at playgrounds. The village I grew up in and the fields and woods around were our playground. We played in sand pits, corn fields, went inside abandoned houses, climbed the cherry trees, and flew kites, explored old barns etc.. I had to be home at 5:30, that was all. In cities it was and is different I think.
I recently read on reddit that the DIN EN for playgrounds (the German standard) regarding security measures was not designed for the purpose to prevent injury. The security measures may even be such that kids could break a bone in the worst case... The main design goal of the standards are set to prevent death or any other permanent damage from possible injuries.
American children growing up during the 1940s through 1960s were far more independent than today’s children, who probably will be known as the “helpless generation.” Parents can’t protect their children from every bad outcome in life. Thus, parents should consider the harm they inflict on their children by smothering them with oversight.
My parents showed me the way a few times and then I was told to go to school alone.
My son, 3, fell from a height of 4 meters on a climbing frame 2 weeks ago. He fell into the ropes a few times and then onto the tree bark floor. I was shocked, the parents on the playground were shocked, my son was shocked for 10 seconds, then got up and climbed back up before I could get to him.
Such frames are indeed constucted in a way that falling down several meters directly to the ground is unlikely. The treebark floor alos helps.
I grew up in Brazil in the 80s and after my 5th anniversary I was given the key to our house and could go anywhere with my bike. We didn't had fancy playgrounds like that, but we would just play around in the streets or venture for hours in the small patch of forest of the city.
But I had friends that would just be driven by car and were not allowed to go out, they were just excluded from our adventures.
I live today in Germany and have a 2 year old daughter, I plan to give her such freedom as I had, so she can learn to be independent.
Czech playgrounds in the major cities are pretty amazing too. thanks for sharing the statistics, but the threat of litigation, although it might be very low, is enough to scare city planners to install the "safest" playground equipment. the US also has the american disability act, that requires that playgrounds need to accommodate wheel chairs.
Unfortunately, parents in Germany are becoming more and more anxious. This is a bad development for children. People used to talk about helicopter parents. They always hover over their children, monitor everything and tell the child too often what it has to do. Nowadays, people talk about lawnmower parents who clear every blade of grass out of the way before the child trips over it. Young adults who grow up in such an environment are often very dependent and their physical abilities are getting worse.
I'm from the UK, and I'd say that the playgrounds in your u.k are similar to the one's in Germany nowadays. Calculated risks, designed to test the child and for the child to be creative.
In Sweden, I got my first commuter pass and a key home hanging under my shirt on a string when I was 9-10 years old
I remember that i so PROUD to manage to take the subway alone 4 stations to school and get home and make my own afterschool snack waiting for mom coming home..and even taking the bus 5-6 minutes to Karate practice and other activity's .
I did get really independent and selfgoing from that i presume
Not living in Berlin, but when I was first grade I drove the 2+km to school on my bike through our town, crossing major streets... I guess, my parents just saw my responsible self and taught me well during my kindergarten time when I drove almost the same distance also by bike but with my mom behind me 😊
I think the biggest difference is in the tendency to sue. Playgrounds in the US are that way to protect the creators as much as for the children.
Part of the reason for this independence, I think, is due to the built environment, which is walkable and bikable relative to the US. For example, how can a child go to school along if driving is the only way to get there? I think urban planning plays a big part in individual freedom.
Kids should feel free to learn to solve problems and exercise their motor skills. Also learn to take some responsibility/ like going to school on their own.
Yeah you're right, kids aren't stupid or anything 😂😂😂
@@willfungusman8666 No, they aren’t stupid. They are inexperienced but not stupid. My kids went to kindergarten and to school alone, after a period of practice with me, like the other kids sid, my son went for drum practice using public transport at the age of 8 years. So did my daughter.
@@Visitkarte most adults are stupid. So are kids
@@willfungusman8666 they learn to not be stupid by taking responsibility and doing stuff on their own. Or you think that on the 16th birthday or something a switch in the mind of all children is flipped and they magically become smart that day?
BTW also in Switzerland children are going/coming to school at similar age as in Germany.
BTW I was going alone school at 11 (in Italy) I was going with my sisters 'alone' @8 years old. This is not possible anymore since ~15-20 years in Italy.
Till 10 years of age, children (In Italy) have to be brought to school and retrieved (parents may nominate friends or relative but their names must be filed with the school). After 11 children may be allowed to go home by themselves if the parents have signed paperworks with the school.
I grew up in the 1960s/70s in Western Germany. We learnt where our limits are by hurting ourselfes. And it was OUR fault because WE went too far. My father always said: "If you get under the bus with that injury, you may die!" (means: Don't take it too serious). We learnt where our limits are and how far we can go!
Being self reliant starts as kid and continues as student to the job. In the US you are basicly „guided“ non stop.
A lots of kids still walk to elementary school where my sister lives in Arkansas. The dog barking at them from the window is a weekly thing.
I grew up in the old South Africa, and I lived in one of the housing schemes/townships. And around every corner there was a playground or a sports field for soccer, cricket, netball etc. The schools were closest, so we walked to school. Even from 6 years old onwards, all the children walked to the shops , and even the cinema . We grew up being able to know to take care of ourselves, how to interact in society, to socialise with our friends and neighbours. That was long ago.
Today, there are no playgrounds. Children need to be transported to school. Walking to school is dangerous. Today there's no interaction between children out off school. And it shows. Compare the youth of today to the youth of "the good old days". We never had things like 'bullying', ADHD , child depression etc.
Great that Germany is so different. But other countries are not safe.
finally someone stating security as the root cause. they make it seem as if it's enough to simply do better as a parent.
Good for you, you never faced been bullied as kid. I'm a nearly 50 year old woman from South Germany, with ADHD. Been bullied my whole childhood. ADHD exists, no matter the circumstances or the century we live in.
Bullying and ADHD did exist, so did depression. Nobody talked about it, though. Not everything was better in the past. If you Had Depression, you were "lazy". If you were bullied, you we're told to "Stop being different, then you'll have friends, it's your own fault". If you had ADHD you were "bad, lazy, obnoxious, unruly". If you had dyslexia you were "stupid and lazy". In all cases you were punished by teachers and parents, yelled at or even beaten because that would surely fix it. Some things have gotten so, so much better. But I agree that some other things are so much worse now.
I think it was either Sweden or Finland that have outdoor schools and kindergardens. Which i find goes into this direction pointed out here as a differance between german and US playgrounds. Training for independent and responsible thought and action.
@@kinngrimm Germany also has some Waldkindergarten where children are outside year-round.
@@ElkeLandenberger Yes, but as far i am aware in comparison a lot less than these other countries i named.
@@kinngrimm yes, but I think German educators are catching on, it's a good start.
Worst thing you can get from playgrounds in Germany is a broken bone or a concussion. Happend to me as well but it just taught me to be more careful next time! And I really really loved those playgrounds as a child because none is like the other 😊
In Australia, I think we have a mix of both styles. We definitely have parents who watch there kids all the time, well into teen years. But there are also a lot more relaxed parents who let their kids take responsibility for themselves.
Wir wohnen in Dresden in einer kleinen Reihenhaussiedlung. Hier kennt jeder jeden und selbst 5 jährige sind alleine draußen. Ist halt wie in einem Dorf.
Thing about protecting your kids is: You mostly have to protect them from irreperable damage. The really bad stuff. For everything else, let them hurt themselves. You cannot protect them indefinitely and if they learn early, they will be much better at protecting themselves, and they will have years of experience with it!
As a 1948 model Canadian, it was always possible to escape excessive parental supervision. I remember the forbidden pleasure of paddling a raft on a pond in an disused gravel pit. When my wife and I moved to Norway in 1980 and had two children in that decade we tried to do things the Norwegian way. For example, we allowed our children to nap in their buggies outside in the winter (and other seasons), we allowed them to explore the neighbourhood unsupervised, including the forest near our house.
As a ruralist, I do not have much experience with playgrounds. One sport I am interested in is parkour, although some may regard it as an urban phenomenon.I addition, children living near water should learn to respect it, but have access to boats. Our neighbour told us that he had to row one to school, from the age of seven. I have tried to teach our children how to use tools, and to avoid injuring themselves. In particular, I think children should learn how to use knives, and be capable of making fires. It is appropriate to point out specific dangers, such as the cliff at the edge of our property. From an early age, we would encourage them to look up at our property from the road 15 meters below. I think they understood, that they should keep to the other side of the fence.
After a mere 44 years of living here, we almost feel more Norwegian than Canadian.
Our daughter is now living in California. Should she and her husband ever have Children, I hope they will consider moving (back) to Europe, because I feel the environment is better for children to grow up in. She is an EU citizen, so there are no restrictions in moving here.
As someone who has lived in and visited Germany I have to say that I've never noticed the playgrounds in the past. The next time I go to Germany, I will check out the structures. They look interesting!
Sadly, in Russia (Moskow), most playgrounds (like those in the yards of apartment blocks) are rather similar to those in the US - made from prefabricated plastic blocks in bright colours.
Some public parks have more "german" examples - unique, made from natural material and pretty interesting.
My and my sister's favourite as children was one in the Vernadsky park, built like a big wooden castle. Sadly gone by now...
Another big difference: Health insurance, in the US people are more or less forced to sue to recover the cost of health care if there's an accident.
But as a dad of three daughters i think that this "american parenting" style keeps getting popular in germany more and more especially due to social media. Carrying them to school in a 3 ton SUV, controlling every step they make, wanting to know what they do and were they are. German parents lose trust in the abilities of their kids to take care of themselves for at least 5 minutes a day.
In the 80ies and 90ies we went everywhere alone as children...there was literally no limit. Today's children don't even realize that their parents protecting them make them to scared little bitXhes.
As a school age child of the 70s in the USA I can tell you that this sort of parenting was much more common. My friends and I use to roam all over the creek that ran behind our housing development.
I think playground are just kind of a „symptom“ of underlying cultural differences. As I understand it (and experienced it during an exchange year ages ago), in general americans want to protect their children and teens from harm by making sure the harm doesn’t come near them or is unknown to them (ie dont climb too high, or you’ll fall and get hurt, don’t use matches or you’ll burn, don’t have sex at all, or you’ll get pregnant, don’t talk about money or difficult things, don’t …)except in very closed, safe settings supervised by adults.
Of course not everybody is like that, US is huge, with many different people in it.
But, as a rule, in Germany we kind of protect our children by teaching them to protect themselves (like saying to our kids and teens: you won’t fall because you know how to climb, you won’t burn because you know how to safely make a fire, you won’t become a teenage parent because you know how how to be safe, sane and consensual and if you don’t know how to solve a problem yet, you’ll find a way to do it. I’ll be here if you need me)
Where y’all’s crazy gun and health care politics come into that theory though…. I really truly absolutely don’t know
Als Kind in Deutschland aufgewachsen, kann ich nur sagen: sei froh, dass du nicht die Spielplätze der 70er Jahre gesehen hast.
Wenn ich daran zurückdenke, wundert es mich, dass nicht mehr passiert ist. Ok, ich selbst hatte nen gebrochenen Arm. Aber naja... bis dahin hatte ich Spass. Und danach auch wieder. Es gehörte dazu, dass man sich verletzt. Das hat auch keinen Arzt interessiert, solange du nicht im Wochenabstand zum Arzt musstest. Solche Spielplätze wären heute undenkbar, selbst in Deutschland. Die Zeiten waren eben anders. Dennoch, oder gerade deswegen, hatte ich eine glückliche Kindheit.
german playgrounds gets more and more restricted.
e.g. there are already limitations to trangles Tire Swings, which need to be chained due to the fact that otherwise there MIGHT be some potential, that a head gets vrushed between the tire and the frame.
This sucks.
Compare how much video American parents have consumed since childhood as opposed to German parents. (:
I think cultural, historical and anthropological factors play the main role. Here in Italy we have the not-so-false stereotype of the Mediterranean overprotective mum, but I have a feeling that it's still more relaxed than the average US mum - except for the mum I saw at a playground once, escorting her 7/8 yo around hand in hand the entire time and scaffolding her buttocks to protect her when climbing stuff, the way I would have probably done with my 2 yo, or not even. Things have changed dramatically in the last 20-30 years, and I think this is something US and Italy have in common. 20 years ago I was serving at a summer camp and even if I was underage I had responsibility of a small group of 7 years olds inside a huge amusement park, now summer camp trips to that same park are only allowed with a parent or caretaker up to 10 years old.
My super anxious and controlling mum would still let me play in the woods and in the sea with friends but no adults around since age 7 and go around the town alone since age 11, but I don't see that so much nowadays, and I am still not sure I will be able to get myself to do the same when my kids will be that age.
Yet, I would never ever consider things like baby monitors, leashes for toddlers, tracking bracelets or suing anyone because my kids got hurt at the playground. When they want to experiment something new I consistently cherish and encourage them, while still firmly standing my ground when it comes to actual safety and responsibility. It's always a delicate balance, and this is quite universal I think.
What you and my people don't know or notice, the German players and the state place a lot of effort to construct a safe playground.
For example studies show the risk of live thratening injuries increase, if childen fall more than one meter.
There for high swings a place between earth walls, reducing the high of the possible Fall.
The high slides are in Tube, so nobody can Fall of it. And so one ...
Many playgrounds are encircled by fences or some kind of cattle grid to keep dogs out.
...
German author Anne Kratzer has done research on this topic, which was published in Gehirn&Geist in 2019. It explored the influence of the long-trusted German parenting manual, "The German Mother and Her First Child" by Johanna Haarer. She theorized that this parenting philosophy had many damaging effects, too. Her writing is well worth a read.
Spielplätze in Deutschland sind aus Ressourcen wie Holz gebaut, weil es länger hält als Plastik. Eine natürliche Umgebung, Entdeckergeist und Spaß. Man kann sich auch außerhalb des Spielplatzes verletzen
My kids were born in Denmark, and they have experienced play grounds in Denmark, the UK, and Taiwan. They like all of them.
Funny! The ad after this video was for a Hollywood movie about a teenage girl being abducted at a concert…
The high slade is all closed and so is the stairway up, what is supposed to happen in there? Under swings and the balancing parcours is always soft ground. Kids may scratch their knees, but nothing worse will happen. I am German and had pretty protective parents (by German standards), but I was never told which attraction at a playground I may or my not use. I started taking public transportation to school at age 11 and was allowed to go to the cinema alone at 12. The thought of always being watched sounds awful to me. And even if you try, it’s not possible. Children get lost (and nearly always found safe) at amusement parks or in other busy enviroments in all countries. The time a parent needs to grab the wallet can be enough for that. Total security is an illusion. So I think it’s better to prepare children for dangerous situations, teach them what to do when they get lost, what to look for in traffic and how to use public transportstion early on.
I'm Swiss but live in Africa on an international compound. Oh my... This helps me understand people from other nationalities better. They ALWAYS suprvise their kids and intervene in every fight etc. Now I understand better, why. Thanks.
There are quite a lot of projects in Germany where children (and their families) are involved in the process of playgeound-design. They care about other things than we might think. They want places to hide, picknick spots, benches for their parents etc. You can see magnificent differences in playground-design. Some playgrounds are standardized and boring and others are reqlly cool and Individual:)
When I was a child in Germany, we went outside, after school and lunch and homework, to find our friends and play somewhere. Nobody really knew where we were or what we were doing, and when the lambposts went on, we went home. Good days.
In a megacity like Berlin, I wouldn't sit my son on the Public transport alone, but in the Smaller City I live in, that's probably fine.
I would have loved the German playgrounds as a kid!! Even as an adult, they look pretty tempting.
This is not a German / US question - it is Europe different from US. In Europe there are styles of education more relaxed or less relaxed - Germany is rather in the middle there.
Children learn to calculate the risk, sometimes it hurts by they learn.
A 6-year-old German child is far more independent than a 12-year-old US child.
And the most essential difference, each and every German adult takes responsibility for any child, be it a bus driver, a person passing by, or a granny watching from her window.
Police are considered to be a friend, not an enemy.
It is called social behaviour, a thing Americans will never learn
I mean there is a big difference between Germany and the US(and Canada) which is the distance to cover. If you live near your school and can go by bike in under 20 minutes then sure I take my bike. If the school is 30 minutes away by car than I can't take the bike.
is Germany safer than the US :-P well at least in school you don't get killed by some random guy with a gun.
Also i think it depens if you are grown up in a city or on rural areas. I mean i grew up in a village with 500 people so most of the people living there knew either me directly or knew my parents. It was totally ok for the parents there if you went out with your friends and came home before 6pm and never actually told were exactly you have been. I sometimes was several kilometers away from home visiting another school friend 3 villages away :D and because we lived so rural of course we had to take the school bus alone.
Since i've never grew up in a city i don't know how it's there but i would assume that a kid in the 4th grade could use the bus / S-Bahn / Straßenbahn all alone to go to school and back. Some even earlier depending on the child.
Spooler, this is not just in Germany. Almost all European countries have the same attitude toward children. Some are even more free. Playground is just one part. Compare schools in the US and Europe, and you will be amazed. Not secure bunkers but open and inviting buildings and time to play between lessons. The US is fear-driven and people are getting obsessed with security and lawsuits. Compare the number of lawyers per capita in the US and Europe.
●When talking about his childhood it was kind of hard for me, an American, to accept that comedian George Carlin's parents let him play out in the streets of New York City with his friends. At age seven!
●In the 1970s & 80s our mom would have us small kids wait in the car while she went inside to the store or whatever. Now? A mother was arrested after her job interview for doing the same thing. _That's_ the standard now here in the States.
I miss monkey-bars (tall metal climbing structures)! Kids today seem to only have staircases to climb on-not fun!
I’m all for independence if in the country (I grew up in the country, as me and my younger sis were left alone during the summers with my sister who was 5 years older) but if I had a kid, I would never, ever let my child be unsupervised at a public playground /park or take transit unless they were with an older sibling, large group, or with another trusted adult.
I mean, firstly, it’s child neglect here, so the parents would be charged for being irresponsible. But more importantly, I know of actual instances of child predators staking out playgrounds (very similar but much taller with nets than the one featured in this video) before. They are transient and move across states and towns, avoiding law enforcement. I find it.. difficult to believe that there are no child predators in Germany or other countries who don’t utilize the same MO.
It just takes one minute for someone to nab a child and disappear. I’d imagine Germany has missing children?
Where I live it is very safe & I do believe small kids could transverse alone, I just consider it very unwise to do so. Safety is, frankly, an illusion.
I remember when I was 14 and was getting my hair done by a young lady, who must have been 21 or younger, who weighed under 110 pounds. An older guy in his fifties had been giving her unwanted attention. He pulled up to the salon as I was getting my hair done & my hairdresser was not comfortable. We were the only two people there & no way we would have been able to handle him if things went badly.
She just turned off the lights and we kept quiet acting like the place was closed. I still remember seeing his silhouette behind the door window curtain as he was trying to open the door. Thankfully he eventually left.
I was expecting my sister to pick me up but thankfully it was dad. Never was more relieved to see him.
I also have had male strangers try and get my attention before as a 15 & 16 year old. Nope. I know better. At 6? I’m not so sure if I would.
When you gone through this experiences, I understand why this feels so wrong.
But even if this European approach sounds a bit care free, because we have child molesters and kidnappings too, it's different.
I can hardly explain how it feels. Of cause I am scared when my child is late from playing outside. Or if I hear stories how many nearly exidents were avoided. And more than one time I saw a bloody knee or an scratched elbow ect.
But show her how scared I am when shes outside doesn't help.
How do children learn to take care of them self or be responsible in a world full of real and digital dangers? Being always around to protect them from this experiences like runng around or fall from a tree because of a misstep wouldn't help them to learn to be independent. Isn't it better they learn how to handle any kind of difficulty from young age than be unprepared to world that gets more difficult every day?
I don't know what's the right way or is there's something like a right way for this topic, but I grew up in similar way and this approach helped me handle my life with a good self esteem and believe in my abilities. And I want the same options for my child.
You mention you wouldnt let your kid go places alone, unless with an older sibling. But how is the older sibling supposed to be able to take care of the younger one exactly? Where and how is the older one supposed to learn any of this?
@@Soff1859 An older sibling would have a phone & know to call 911 or seek help and be more wary & mindful of strangers.
@@Allaiya. but how would the older sibling have learned this? One is the oldest and therefore doesnt have an older sibling, who can go out with them. So the oldest never learned. So how could they take care of the one younger than them?
@@Soff1859 The parent would be with the older child. Plus the older you are, you are going to naturally be better at decision making I would hope
German feels like it is set to the time period I grew up in still. The time period for me was 80’s-90’s as I was was born in 83
If you can get up - you can play on it! And honestly I even prefer the Danish way. (Where you do not even have to worry that your child goes missing) I am a German mother of four (very rare) and I let my kids do what they think they are capable of. I encourage them to do „dangerous“ stuff too. My now 15 year old went round Berlin (we live close) first time on her own when she was 12. My 15 month old goes up the slide. Just let them be!
And also there is no lawsuit unless the playground is actually broken and not closed.
Well, the "driving alone to school"-thing might get less and less in following years if the headlines of 10-15 year olds getting sexually assaulted or raped get more and more.
I think it's not a typical "German" thing. In many other European countries, kids are raised in an equal manner. My wife grew up in Eastern Europe and when she tells stories of her childhood, I feel like our American friends must feel from our German playgrounds. ;)
and now I have to look out for pics oder videos of american playgrounds to match the differences
Happened when I was a kid. We walked to school, in packs of kids, by ourselves
"The sense of personal responsibility is strong in germany." Yeah, it gets less with each year. Not much left.
The US was like this before 1980. I grew up in the 1950s and 60s. I walked to and from school BY MYSELF at age 6. Walked to playgrounds and parks by myself. We had 10' high swings and slides, what fun. Rode my bike all over the city by myself at age 12. Americans today are just nuts, very paranoid. Watching scare stories on the news. Scary stories make higher ratings and MORE MONEY.
I don't think the Spartan approach to child-rearing to be right but neither do I think over-protectiveness to be a good solution ...
Naja. Nur weil es für eine Erwachsene nicht sicher aussieht, heißt es nicht, dass es nicht sicher ist. Die Sicherheitsstandarts (keine Rostigen Schrauben, keine kaputten Seile) sind in Deutschland extrem hoch. Und leider sind die Spielplätze auf den Dörfen Deutschlands nicht so spektakulär wie in Großstädten.
Bei uns in Österreich leider genauso.
Da muss man nicht auf's Dorf raus; auch in den Großstädten sehen die meisten Spielplätze nicht "so" aus - eher eine Sandgrube (die von Ömchen als Klo für ihre Dackel missbraucht wird), 2-4 Schaukeln, vlt. eine Wippe, mit viel Glück eine Rutsche und/oder ein Klettergerüst, welche aber so niedrig sind, dass es nur für 3-4-Kährige überhaupt interessant ist.
@@gehtdichnixan8561 Also bei uns haben die näher gelegeneren Städte tolle Spielplätze.
@@Nina-gh8yp Habe ja auch nicht gesagt, dass es solche nicht gibt. "Die Meisten" sind aber nicht so.
Yeah, safety by tracking is so much more important for Americans so nothing would happen to their children.
However, ferberizing, which raises cortisol levels and according to Brisch harms the human in the long term, shockingly is still a big thing in the US. In other countries, especially in Europe (northern countries) this is highly criticised.
@DW I'd really be delighted to see a documentary on ferberizing.
I am from the UK, but live in Germany. When I look at the places I played in the UK, they have been ruined by a obsession with safety. The Moatwood has had the moat filled in. Despite its name, I never remember seeing water in it, and the slopes were never steep, and incidentally I saw my first grass snake there . (A harmless snake) I doubt there are any there now.
The boating lake has been leveled over, because children could drown there. I swam in it as a child despite it being only 1 foot deep. The English speaking World has gone safety mad!
While on shoolexchange with other european countries, we germans where always the ones organising things and adapting to the new environment quickly. It seemed like we where much more selfassured and used to desicion making and being treated from the beginning like a full person.
European law says, as a parent you cannot be responsible what happens to your kids 24/7. US law says, you are responsible 24/7 and also the rest of the time. This is just the opposite of the gun law in the US and Europe.
My sister in law pu her grandkids in life jackets for the kiddy pool and filled it only 10 inches according to the manufacturers recommendation.
That's what happens when you have a functioning healthcare system, reliable public transportation and your cities are not car centric.
Ah, and there's no guns everywhere.
a bit same as in the netherlands.